November 7th, 2012

DPMQs Live: Morning After the Night Before Edition


  1. 1
    AngryEnglishJon says:

    Good afternoon. It’s Clegghorn!

  2. 2
    Erskine May says:

    Oh! Thought it was QMTV

  3. 3
    Dick Scratcher says:

    GF, there are other free chat room software packages available….

  4. 4
    Anonymous says:

    It hasn’t started but Harman is already useless.

  5. 5
    Stephen Fry says:

    Do you have any pics?

  6. 6
    Dr Bombastic says:

    mornin all

    naming no names what!

  7. 7
    Gordon Brown says:

    I will be spending the afternoon rapping with Howard Keel

  8. 8
    Dick Scratcher says:

    Mr Presleydent can fuck off. Lame duck.

  9. 9
    Steve Miliband says:

    Where’s the giraffe suit

  10. 10
    Dr Bombastic says:


  11. 11
    AngryEnglishJon says:

    Of Nadine?

  12. 12
    Dick Scratcher says:

    Fat Ken has a 20″ fly zip. It’s quick release though.

  13. 13
    Dick Scratcher says:

    Has someone superglued Yvette’s eyes open?

  14. 14
    Steve Miliband says:

    Linda Snell from the Archers

  15. 15
    Puke says:

    Harridan Hardperson and Eva Balls. What a sight.

  16. 16
    Dr Bombastic says:

    too much arselickhan

  17. 17

    Now remember Hatty..don’t get all squeaky

  18. 18
    Dick Scratcher says:

    Is that Nick Griffin on Harperson’s left? Twiigg twat

  19. 19
    AngryEnglishJon says:

    After watching a lot of the U.S. election thingy, I noticed the similarity between Labour Wimmin, and Democrat wimmin. Fallen out of the ugly tree, one and all.

  20. 20
    Puke says:

    Amused by Yvette’s mid-80s boyband hairstyle. Blinky must love the boyish look.

  21. 21
    Silent Bob says:

  22. 22
    Steve Miliband says:

    Is this going to be a love in?

  23. 23
    Broadsword calling Danny Boy says:

    Of anything in particular Stephen?

  24. 24
    Anonymous says:

    The BBC attempting to call itself a private body to avoid the requirements of the Freedom of Information law…

  25. 25
    Steve Miliband says:

    Wait for the report Hattie

  26. 26
    Sex change? says:

    Mrs Balls has something about the man about him today.

  27. 27
    Dick Scratcher says:

    Please can we have more reports, inquiries, commissions, reviews etc. I don’t feel we have enough of them. Fucking lawyers.

  28. 28
    Ann Widdecombe says:

    Quite right. I’m sex on legs!

  29. 29
    Dick Scratcher says:

    You fantasising again?

  30. 30
    Steve Miliband says:

    Out of touch… bingo

  31. 31
    Mad Nad says:

    I’m not in the house. It’s a jungle in there.

  32. 32
    Dick Scratcher says:

    Fuck off BerHunt!

  33. 33

    Nadine is a part time working parent

  34. 34
    Steve Miliband says:


  35. 35
    Shapely legs says:

    Cooper has nice legs, I must admit.

  36. 36
    AngryEnglishJon says:

    Tits oot for the lads Harriden & Doesn’t Herr Burko get on your bloody nerves?

  37. 37
    Kai-Thai says:

    What has happened to Yvette Balls? She looks like a Ladyman

  38. 38
    sex and drugs and rock 'n roll says:

    Harman is a blockhead.

  39. 39
    Dick Scratcher says:

    Will you be doing bikini shower MILF shots?

  40. 40
    Steve Miliband says:

    Not being partisan, but Harman is woeful

  41. 41
    Anonymous says:

    Since when are private bodies funded by compulsory taxation?

  42. 42
    Dr Bombastic says:

    this side of the house – Cleggy’s has gone native!

  43. 43
    Dick Scratcher says:

    Fuck off Squeaker.

  44. 44
    Lord Alpine says:

    No inquiry into North Wales care homes please. Ta.

  45. 45
    Owen Jones says:

    A boy can dream, can’t he?
    Ed B is so-o-o-o butch!

  46. 46
    Dr Bombastic says:

    surely he is more used to getting it from both ENDS?

  47. 47
    Steve Miliband says:

    Good line – briefing against himself

  48. 48
    Dick Scratcher says:

    Harpic’s tits really are going south aren’t they? Shame.

  49. 49
    AngryEnglishJon says:

    And the dwarfist twat in the middle. What a menage a trois

  50. 50
    Gawd Help Us says:

    Calm down now Cleggy.

  51. 51
    Steve Miliband says:

    Clegg good today

  52. 52
    Cameron is a liar says:

    Is that a cast iron guarantee I see disappearing past the u-bend?

  53. 53
    Dick Scratcher says:

    Leader re-elected? Cam is NO leader, dick brain.

  54. 54
    sex and drugs and rock 'n roll says:

    Has I don’t need no doctor been barred from the site? Why because he told the truth about Guid o protecting To m Wat son?

  55. 55
    The boy done good says:

    Must admit, I’m rather impressed by Clegg’s very fiery performance against Hardperson. He did a better job slapping down Labour than Cameron’s recent performances.

  56. 56
    Nick Cleggs Speechwriter says:

    Sadly,Nick couldn’t use this gag.

    What do you call a gay Irish solider?

    Barrack O’Bummer.

  57. 57
    sex and drugs and rock 'n roll says:

    Nadine is now known as Shelia Dorries.

  58. 58
    Cameron is a liar says:

    Am I watching from 18 months ago or did I just hear the phrase “Crimson tide”?

  59. 59
    Michael Portfolio says:

    Oooh you are awful! But I like you.

  60. 60
    Michael Portfolio says:

    Leech looks like a Dixons salesman.

  61. 61
    We're all Doomed says:

    No, she’s got some of Harperson’s anal beads inserted.

  62. 62
    AngryEnglishJon says:

    I’m off to the pub. Can’t listen to this useless pillock banging on about the Merkels dead zone and how much he’s looking forward to lick O’barmys arse.

  63. 63
    Cameron is a liar says:

    Does mole have a Justin Greening?

  64. 64
    Dick Scratcher says:

    Are Fat Ken’s eyes morphing into poached eggs?

  65. 65
    Cameron is a liar says:

    We vote for crime commissioners but we can’t vote on membership of the EU until the next general election after next…

  66. 66
    Dick Scratcher says:

    …she just cannot join the dots.

  67. 67
    Revolting says:

    Rosie Cooper, the morbidly obese Labour MP who claimed £5000 worth of chocolates and crisps on expenses.

  68. 68
    Cameron is a liar says:

    Politician wants newspapers regulated whodda thunk it.

  69. 69
    BBC Pornographic Workshop says:

    How do all these stupid bloody women get to be MPs?

  70. 70
    Tom Wa tson says:

    Guido protects Tom Watson! Just why is Guido afraid of me?

  71. 71
    BBC Pornographic Workshop says:

    Democracy = total shite

  72. 72
    Morbidly obese says:

    He’s afraid you’ll sit on him, you fat fucker.

  73. 73
    My left knee is rather good looking says:

    That Valerie Vaz and Keth Vaz look like each other. Are they brother and sister?

  74. 74 says:

    Nick is a little hoarse. I think Dave has been riding him.

  75. 75
    Armando Iannucci says:

    I’ll use that one.

  76. 76
    IDS says:

    Cleggy – can I have my frog back please???

  77. 77
    Dick Scratcher says:

    V necked sweater day.

  78. 78
    Cameron is a liar says:

    What’s a wind turban ?

  79. 79
    Mad Nad says:

    Surely Sheila.

  80. 80
    Phlegm says:

    Clegg is a typical Europhile, with a frog in his throat.

  81. 81
    ed martin says:


  82. 82
    Dick Scratcher says:

    Simon Hughes needs to lose the Bobby Charlton. Pathetic

  83. 83
    Cameron is a liar says:

    Rees-Mogg’s looking suave.

  84. 84
    Boom boom says:

    Clegg is just like Carla Bruni today. He has a frog in his throat.

  85. 85
    Mad Nad says:

    No, it’ll be full-frontal, with Gordon McDoom

  86. 86
    Dick Scratcher says:

    How can Fat Ken keep a straight face?

  87. 87
    Dick Scratcher says:

    Fuel tax increase must be dropped Gideon.

  88. 88
    I hate them all says:

    I was thinking more of a wee Hitler moustache and it would be Adolf himself

  89. 89
    Dick Scratcher says:

    Winnett = halloween costume

  90. 90
    Ethical foreign policy says:

    Winnick says arms were sold to Libya. Yes, David. Sold by Labour, you senile old fuckwit.

  91. 91
    Back to Basics says:

    if…”Will I am’s” real name is William..
    And… “Flo Rida” is from Florida..
    Does that mean Jimmy Saville’s stage name would be….”Pe Da File”
    Just a thought

  92. 92
    Superman says:

    More money for the lawyers who will argue with each other but all will get paid.Most problems in UK would be solved if only the winning lawyers got paid. 90% of cases would be dropped,justice would be fairer and quicker. Easy!

  93. 93
    Anonymous says:

    Look at the new Canal and River Trust. Funded by taxes. Given a vast wealth of publicly undefined land and property. Controlled by multiple Acts of Parliament. Yet they pick and choose what we can know.

    CRT are no different to a local council. They raise business taxes, transport taxes, have people living on their land. They need not consult the public on any planning decisions but must be consulted on other people planning applications. They are unelected and unrepresentative of the users and public.

    CRT’s best trick is to use their position as a monopoly to force unfair contracts. These contracts give themselves powers to break and enter, seize property and threaten individuals and take action without needing the courts. They even tax private transactions. They threaten businesses into disclosing personal data of their customers, businesses that are wholly dependent on the good will of CRT. They even issue the equivalent of ASBOs and restrict people basic freedoms.

    BBC and CRT are tax funded institutions that are out of control and yet fully protected by this Government.

  94. 94
    Four Skin Divers says:


  95. 95
    Four Skin Divers says:

    Sally got the painters in?

  96. 96
    The Eagle Brothers says:

    We agree Anne, fancy popping over to our rugmunch?

  97. 97
    Four Skin Divers says:

    Inverse gastric band surgery, or a horrific facial accident

  98. 98
    Four Skin Divers says:

    Just Vaz in a dress so he can double up on the troughing

  99. 99
    Deidre Barlow says:

    He has been smoking my fags

  100. 100
    None of the above says:

    Not sure about the frog, but I have heard he has had a cockatoo in it

  101. 101
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    This government?

    All governments involving the LabLibCon trick, don’t you mean?

  102. 102
    Popeye says:

    Well I thought Clegg did very well, much as it irritates me to admit it.
    What I notice most is the BBC politics woman, who always reads out derogatory comments about the Government but very few congratulatory e-mails. Not biassed I see.
    Credit where due, Clegg was quick on his feet, Harmon was the usual disaster and all the Labour women members that spoke were doing their utmost to sound like strident fishwives

  103. 103
    Angus says:

    Just watched this and could somebody please explain the purpose of it, as it appears to me to be a complete waste of time.

  104. 104
    Yvette Cooper says:

    Never gonna give you up
    Never gonna let you down
    Never gonna run around and desert you
    Never gonna make you cry
    Never gonna say goodbye
    Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

  105. 105
    Obesely Morbid says:

    I’d think the feeling would be mutual, wouldn’t you?
    Tom couldn’t feel any too comfortable with the Boss of this blog literally sitting on him, don’t you think?
    Unless he’s into that sort of thing…

  106. 106
    Anonymous says:

    I can only say what I have proof of. This Government.

  107. 107
    Rick Nobinson says:

    Don’t know, but it never works, is totally funded by the state & there’s millions of the buggers.

  108. 108
    Timmy Tin Foil says:

    Sir Jim’ll-fix-it’s name is an anagram, barely disguised, of “Jimmy’s Alive.”
    For what it’s worth.

  109. 109
    Stephen Fry says:

    That Owen Jones out of the Independent. His oral skills are phenomenal. And I love him. How old is he again?

  110. 110
    Earl of Croydon says:

    How unimpressive are women MP’s. I do wish people were appointed due to their capability than their ruddy sex.

  111. 111
    dunstall says:

    Morbidllt obese? Shes a fat f…..

  112. 112
    Gordon F Brown says:

    How true. That’s why you’ll not catch me there…

  113. 113
    Mad Nad says:

    Yeah, it’s not as good as when MPs with real gravitas are there e.g. myself or Louise Munschkin.

  114. 114
    Anonymous says:

    Remember You Hoo. They could just mend their failures. That would require care. Sadly not all are still alive, so nothing can correct the failures for those.

  115. 115
    The Golem says:

    Yup! Great watching the puppets dance.

  116. 116
    Fanny Craddock says:

    About 3 hours after a vindaloo

  117. 117
    Scouse Victim says:

    Unfortunately, he’s my MP but wouldn’t bend over in front of him.

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Alan Milburn says Labour’s scaremongering campaign for an unreformed NHS will not win election…

“It would be a fatal mistake, in my view, for Labour to go into this election looking as though it is the party that would better resource the National Health Service but not necessarily put its foot to the floor when it comes to reforming. Look, reforms are not easy, but the Labour Party is not a conservative party. It should be about moving things forward not preserving them in aspic. You have got a pale imitation actually of the 1992 general election campaign, and maybe it will have the same outcome. I don’t know.”

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