Staying up for the long night ahead? Then’ll you need to know what to look out for and when the key results will come in.

Here is your definitive print out and check off guide to Election Night 2012…

Courtesy of Jag Singh.

BREAKING Nadine Dorries is to be suspended from the Tory Pary pending an urgent meeting with Chief Whip Sir George Young—
James Chapman (Mail) (@jameschappers) November 06, 2012

Source: whip is to be withdrawn from Nadine Dorries until she can explain herself in face-to-face meeting with Chief Whip—
James Chapman (Mail) (@jameschappers) November 06, 2012

Something bugging them?

Eric Pickles on Nadine’s trip to the jungle:

“I’ll obviously miss her and I’m going to have to struggle on bravely without her. But I, like a loyal friend, will be voting to keep her in as long as possible. I shall be ringing in religiously every week to keep her there.”

Labour’s newly selected by-election candidate for Croydon North is clearly not very confident about his victory chances. Lambeth Council Leader Steve Reed has announced that he will not resign his position unless he wins the nearby seat. The hard-working people of Lambeth will be paying for Reed to campaign for the Labour Party rather than representing them.

Then again, anyone who has ever come across Steve and his work will know that campaigning for Labour rather than representing the people has always been his mantra – not least with his poster campaign against government cuts that was paid for at the expense of other local services. Facile largire de alieno…

The Tories are always denying that UKIP are a threat, but once again the cat has been let out of the bag. Over in Maidenhead they have suffered an embarrassing council by-election defeat at the hands of their LibDem counterparts. Simon Werner beat his blue opponent Catherine Hollingsworth by a grand total of eight votes, as the UKIP candidate took dozens of votes away from the Tories.  Council leader David Burbage in no doubt as to who is to blame:

“It is unfortunate that, largely thanks to UKIP, the residents of Pinkneys Green have missed out from electing a very effective councillor in Catherine Hollingsworth. The last thing that people who voted UKIP would have wanted would be a boost to the pro-EU Lib Dems.” 

Fast forward to 2015 and we could be seeing a similar thing on a much larger scale…

Via BBC

Guido will forever be perplexed by the inner workings of the LibDem mind. Down in Brighton they are taking their defeatism to a whole new level by telling residents not to vote for their party’s candidate in next week’s PCC elections. In a letter sent to LibDem members, the chair and vice chair of Brighton and Hove LibDems – Brian Stone and Simon Doyle, explain:

“We find ourselves in an unusual position. As experienced campaigners who have worked for LibDem candidates at various elections and over many years, we are asking you not to vote for a LibDem candidate for the post of elected Police and Crime Commissioner for Sussex.”

Instead of backing the LibDem, party members are being instructed to cast their ballot for ‘RON’, re-opening nominations and keeping the PPC post free from party politics. They really don’t get this whole winning elections thing, do they…

UPDATE: LibDem sources point out that the leaflet is from the internal election to select a candidate.

Hacks are venting their anger at the NUJ today…

…Find out why over on MediaGuido…

Increasingly isolated NUJ boss Michelle Stanistreet has unilaterally announced the union’s support for state regulation of the press. Somewhat unbelievably not asking members first, Stanistreet blustered:

“We believe that if we are to achieve independent, accountable regulation it needs to be underpinned by statute enabling a framework for a new body to be established with clear terms of reference and a structure that involves journalists and civil society as key stakeholders.”

Just who are the “we” she was speaking for remains unclear. Certainly several prominent journalists have expressed their disbelief that such a decision would be made without balloting members first:

Extraordinary that the NUJ's wretched leaders are supporting statutory regulation of press, we have been fighting that since the 1640s—
Nick Cohen (@NickCohen4) November 05, 2012

NUJ is betraying journalism by demanding state regulation after 300yrs of press freedom – If you're a member, demand a national ballot NOW—
Neil Wallis (@neilwallis1) November 06, 2012

I have just cancelled my NUJ membership after 17 years. RT @tabloidtroll storify.com/tabloidtroll/d…—
Kirsty Walker (@kirstywalker1) November 06, 2012

Stunned by NUJ backing for state regulation of press without consulting its members—
Kirsty Buchanan (@KirstyBuchanan4) November 06, 2012

This whole "we know best" attitude from the #NUJ top brass reminds me why I'm not a member. We need a sensible alternative.—
Tom Savage (@journotom) November 05, 2012

How to lose members and alienate yourself…

Bonkers  Eurocrats in Brussels are going on strike over “cuts” to the EU Budget. The European Federation of Public Service Unions is calling for EU staff to walk out on Thursday due to what they claim is austerity, or what members of the reality based community would call €1 billion in efficiency savings. A concerned EU staffer emailed Guido this morning – needless to say they are not joining the barricades:

“My colleagues really are the most grasping ingrates in recent history. Millions across the EU are suffering, and we are going on strike to ensure we can afford that second tax free limo. Blind to the suffering of others and inoculated from the real world they cannot rip themselves away from the taxpayer teat”.

These are the people Cameron is letting call the tune by continuing to oppose a real term budget cut.