November 2nd, 2012

Taxes on Taxidermy: What the Papers Say


70 Comments

  1. 1
    Mary Whitehouse says:

    Not surprised they found a snake in Westminster

  2. 2
    Archie says:

    There must be another snake joke in here somewhere!

  3. 3
    Mary Whitehouse says:

    an a con da ?

  4. 4
    Anonymous says:

    I have no interest in the elected representatives of this country doing their work in portacabins. Grow up.

  5. 5
    Camerons PRAM says:

    Only 649 snakes left to stuff then

  6. 6
    Mary Whitehouse says:

    lend me 10k till I get my memory back

  7. 7
    smoggie says:

    Headline in The Sun this morning is:

    FREDDIE STARR ATE MY BEAVER

  8. 8
    Grollace says:

    I asked the postman today if he could speak Parceltongue, but he answered in Polish.

  9. 9
    Backwoodsman says:

    Hague asked the taxidermist to paint it pink and re-name it Oboe.

  10. 10
    Flocking useless.... says:

    Steady on there, not to be confused with the one eyed trouser snake that Jimmy used to put a smile on the faces of children all over the country :)

  11. 11
    smw says:

    Awww Guido got in the papers again. Good for you :)

    I see you took credit for GraduateFog’s exposure of Blair’s unpaid interns too, but sadly no one else picked up on the fact that it was the pressure you personally exerted on the man which got results, shame.

    You keep at it Guido, soon you’ll become relevant enough to embarrass yourself on TV again ;)

    ps been a while since I was last here, what happened to all the advertising? You finding it hard to generate revenue? Tell you what, you could stuff yourself and live in the FCO library.

  12. 12
    Mary Whitehouse says:

    Can’t wait for the next election bullshit when Dave tells us there is no money and we are skint,

  13. 13
    Lie Brer Ian says:

    Has anybody actually as Hague if he had anything to do with this stuffing? I somehow doubt it and the decision to proceed was made by some faceless twit in the back room who has access to the FCO’s budget.

  14. 14
    A Postate says:

    Does your moniker stand for ‘small minded w… [you know the rest]

  15. 15
    Chris Mayers Parliamentry aids says:

    It’s not the first time William has paid to stuff his trouser snake somewhere

  16. 16
    smw says:

    yes … yes it does. Cunning of you to work it out.

  17. 17
    smw says:

    yes … yes it does. Cunning of you to work it out.

  18. 18
    Dick the Prick says:

    If the only way we can deal with terrorists is to extradite them then the problem isn’t secret courts but stupid judges taking the ECHR and interpreting it to mean that they’re all completely innocent and able to sue the British government for their lack of success in their heinous, warped endeavours.

  19. 19
    A Question of Time says:

    Watching the US special of Question Time last night must’ve been confusing for you righties. A pro-Romney bláck Tory MP, Kwasi Kwarteng, was on the panel. The cognitive dissonance that must’ve caused some of you. “He’s a fucking n****r! But he’s Conservative! But I fucking hate n****rs! But he’s attacking Obama! But he’s bláck! But he’s saying he would vote for Romney! But he’s a bloody co-on! Now he’s attacking Labour! Aaagh, I’m confused! Should I hate him or like him? These fucking n****rs, always making life difficult for us.

  20. 20
    Baroness Warsi says:

    Ooooh, that’s wacist

  21. 21
    Dick the Prick says:

    You are Diane Abbot and I claim my free compensation claim.

  22. 22
    smg says:

    Why “cunning”? I see language isn’t your strong point, just petty sneering.

  23. 23
    A Question of Time says:

    “White power! David Duke for Prime Minister!”

  24. 24
    Keith Chegwin says:

    I think you need help mate.

  25. 25
    Uncle Joe says:

    You know the answer to this problem don’t you?
    That such weaklings have held power for so long is the mystery.

  26. 26
    smw says:

    Well I do enjoy petty sneering, in this Guido and I are in lock step.

  27. 27
    Socialism Ate My Future says:

    So spouting racist rubbish isn’t racist as long as your left leaning?

    You can tell its half term.

  28. 28
    Mr Ahmadinejad says:

    I get why people grow a moustache for Movember, but why do old women do it all year round?

  29. 29
    Another nutter passing by says:

    You really have a problem.

  30. 30
    Roger The lodger says:

    Daisy Duke for president!

  31. 31
    Gordon Brown says:

    Watching the US special of Question Time last night must’ve been confusing for you lefties. A pro-Romney black Tory MP, Kwasi Kwarteng, was on the panel. The cognitive dissonance that must’ve caused some of you. “He’s not supporting that Yanky fucking n****r! He’s Conservative! But I demand that all fucking n****rs automatically support each other, irrespective of their disasterous economic, foreign and defence policies! But he’s attacking Obama! But he’s black! But he’s saying he would vote for Romney! But he’s a bloody co-on! Now he’s attacking Labour! Aaagh, I’m confused! Should I hate him or like him? These fucking n****rs, always making life difficult for us. How can a Black man have independant thought? How can colour not be the overwhelming issue governing his politics?

    Hmmm…chuck a red rosette on it and move on, never bother listening. Bigotted woman!

  32. 32
    Mark Oaten says:

    In one eventful day, I saw a Black Mamba, a Copperhead (it withered about like a pleb), a New Mexico Milk (quite salty in texture), a Brown Water and kissed a Ringed Brown!

    Oh, what memories!

  33. 33
    John Prescock says:

    I’m stuffed.

  34. 34

    slippery hands going down young boys trousers more like.

  35. 35
    Diane Abbot says:

    Ahh, the Black Mamba, a favourite. Not to mention the Jamaican Boa . . .

  36. 36
    TONY B LIAR WARLORD and all roung GOOD EGG says:

    You paid a hundred times that to stuff my pillow cases
    With Cash !

    Suckers !

  37. 37
    Anonymous says:

    But only white people can be racist. Fatbot will confirm that as a fact.

  38. 38
    XXXX says:

    Except Trident revamping, HS2, loads for London heathrow/Borus Island, reorganising education and the NHS again (the NHS must be punch drunk from all the reorganisations in the past 35 years) and any other glory project.

  39. 39
    Roy Hattersely says:

    The spitting cobra was always a favourite of mine :-)

  40. 40
    XXXX says:

    Well you wouldn’t want the stuffed snake sudenly decending on our little Willy would you?

  41. 41
    DO NOWT DAVE the PATHETIC Downing st DOOR MOUSE says:

    I have warned Mr Dinner jacket the Iranian President that i am quite prepared to send war planes to the gulf !
    As i Squeak the imperial war museum is readying our three Sopwith camels and a zeppelin to be delivered to the gulf by D H L by next week I’ll arrange for someone to be there tuesday afternoon to sign for them

    Toodle pip !

  42. 42
    XXXX says:

    That’s a thought, why was the snuffed snaked named Albert, was it because of prince Albert who kept Queen Victoria constantly pregnant for 25 or more years

  43. 43
    XXXX says:

    Who is Fatbot?

  44. 44
    Biased Broadcasting Corporation says:

    What’s the betting this story will take up the first 15 minutes of next week’s edition of Have I Got News.

    As this ‘news’ quiz has now given up all semblance of political even-handedness (according to the last 2 weeks’ shows), the first 15 minutes of tonight’s show will be taken up with the ‘Loony Eurosceptic Right-Wingers humiliate Cameron’ story, and the remaining 15 minutes of the show will be ‘Tory Toff Boris calls plebs Leftie Tossers.’ Don’t expect any reference to the Labour Party. There wasn’t last week.

  45. 45
    XXXX says:

    TONY B LIAR WARLORD and all roung GOOD EGG shouldn’t that read TONY B LIAR WARLORD and all wrong ROTTEN EGG

  46. 46
    Nursey says:

    Gordon!! Pay attention!!

    Somebody told you yesterday that there is no ‘e’ in ‘disastrous’.

    You had better get it right in future or nursey will confiscate your rocking horse.

  47. 47
    Broadsword calling Danny Boy says:

    ….making sure that we pay even more to the Brussels fraudsters.

  48. 48
    Nursey says:

    Welcome sir, this must be your first day here.

  49. 49
    Mr Ahmadinejad says:

    My Muslim neighbour knocked on my door today, she asked, “Have you seen Mahid lately?”

    “Nope,” I replied, “just your eyes.”

  50. 50
    Peter Bone says:

    Guido Fawkes,a right wing political blogger, told the BBC that David Cameron “was an accident waiting to happen” because of his obsession with legalising gay marriage.

  51. 51
    XXXX says:

    One little problem there Liebore are not in power, Dave is supposed to be in power but seems like the bonking Major-Balls unable to keep order in the ranks, he busts one zit and another breaks out somewhere else.

  52. 52
    Gordon Brown says:

    I done a big poo poo

  53. 53
    Don't say you weren't told Dave. says:

    Absolutely correct. Gay Marriage is the final straw / nail in the coffin / guaranteed 2015 Election loser.

  54. 54
    Abu Qatada says:

    Fucking hell !

    British families want out as more seek relaxed life abroad http://tgr.ph/RwY8YH

  55. 55
    smoggie says:

    Looney Left with bells on.

  56. 56
    Gordon Brown says:

    There’s no ‘i’ in mistake.

  57. 57
    XXXX says:

    There are quite a few that fit that description in politics, eg Fatty Pickles, Lard Prescott, Dianne Abbot for starters

  58. 58
    UKIP.i.am says:

    I thought it was Brussels who were in power. We will soon find out.

  59. 59
    Synic says:

    Two more soldiers killed in Afghanistan this week. Will Dave or any of his Ministers be present when the coffins are unloaded from the aircraft? Or at the funerals? Have any of them been on active service? No. Utter wxnkers them lot of them.

  60. 60
    Manuel Barroso says:

    £10k? Fooking amatoors. I spend that on breakfast.

  61. 61
    Dick the Prick says:

    I’m not so sure it’s possible, really. With everyone paid £500 per hour to keep up the facade of justice, with the reams of statute and preceadence, the hordes of vested interests in all parties – well, cui bono? I think it’s a chimera, a mirage, an unwanted objective. Far more lucrative to just whinge about it and accept that Londoners are gonna die.

  62. 62
    George Gideon Oliver Osborne says:

    Transform yourself into a company

    Perhaps the best way to take total control of your tax affairs is to ‘incorporate’. This involves setting yourself up in business as a private limited company and channelling all (or most) of your income through your own ‘personal tax haven’.
    By starting your own company, you can move away from being taxed as an employee and paying income tax and National Insurance contributions (NICs) through the PAYE (Pay As You Earn) system. Instead, your company get taxed on its profits after legitimate business expenses.
    Meanwhile, to avoid income tax and NICs, you take a modest salary from your firm and boost your earnings with tax-efficient share dividends. Here’s a practical example of how this works.
    Make work less taxing
    Let’s assume that your company collects, say, £60,000 a year in fees from various clients. Of this, your business pays you a small salary of £107 a week, or £5,564 a year. As this is below the lower threshold for employee NICs, you pay no National Insurance on this wage. In addition, there is no income tax to pay on this mini-salary, as it falls within your personal tax allowance of £8,105.
    Next, assume that your company has 1,000 shares, all of which you own. Every six months, you declare a cash dividend on these shares of, say, exactly £1.8455 per share. This gives you an extra £18,455 twice a year, which totals £36,910.
    Share dividends are taxed much more lightly than earned income. In fact, thanks to a notional 10% tax credit, basic-rate (20%) taxpayers pay no tax on dividends. For higher-rate (40%) taxpayers, the tax is 32.5%, reduced to 22.5% after the 10% notional tax credit. However, this extra tax is paid only on the slice of dividends in the higher-rate tax threshold, which starts at £34,370 of taxable earnings.
    In effect, you’ve received total earnings of £42,474 from the £60,000 paid to your private company. As all of this falls below the threshold for higher-rate tax of £42,475, it is entirely tax-free. In short, the score is: you 100%, HM Revenue & Customers (HMRC) 0%!
    Make your company pay
    While you pay zero personal taxes on the above earnings, HMRC will get its pound of flesh one way or another. It does this by charging your company corporation tax. In the above example, your company received £60,000 over the course of a year and paid you a salary of £5,564. This sum is offset against corporation tax, reducing the company profit to £54,436.
    Although dividends don’t reduce this profit any further, all legitimate business expenses do. For the sake of argument, let’s say that your company offsets £4,436 in expenses against tax, reducing the final profit to £50,000.
    The standard rate of corporation tax for small businesses is 20%, thus generating a tax bill of £10,000. This is the only tax paid by your company (except for VAT on purchases, of course).
    What’s more, your company is solvent, as it has spare cash remaining of £3,090, as follows:
    Revenues
    £60,000
    Salary
    -£5,564
    Dividends
    -£36,910
    Expenses
    -£4,436
    Corporation tax
    -£10,000
    Surplus
    £3,090

  63. 63
    genghiz the kahn says:

    So thats why Cameron is so keen to repatriate those Spitfires from Burma.

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/oct/17/spitfire-planes-burma-excavation

  64. 64
    Anonymous says:

    Strangely, I’m not too excised over this either. I expect these offices of state to to be able to exhibit a certain grandeur to the outside world and reflect our rich history and pageantry. I wouldn’t expect these offices to look like an Ikea showroom!

    Long live Albert – £10k’s cheap to keep him in good condition for another 30/40 years.

  65. 65
    Mehdi Hasan says:

    The only racists are you kaffars who live like animals.

  66. 66
    Really? says:

    That’s strange.
    Most of the Brits I know who moved abroad to Europe, are planning to come home.

  67. 67
    Stroppycow says:

    And you’re surprised??? FFS!!

  68. 68
    it helps when you know the details too says:

    4, not 2

  69. 69
    the savant says:

    you, re either in front of guido ,,,,,,

    or your slithering up behind him waiting to pounce …………… for the jugular………………………

  70. 70
    Great Granddad says:

    We’re all in it together. You, me, and the anaconda.


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