Denis was overheard in February 2011:

Overheard @DenisMacshane saying "Joan is leaving me and I'm going to jail".—
Eye Spy MP (@eyespymp) February 07, 2011

To celebrate Denis MacShane’s demise this week’s caption contest sees the shamed expenses cheat pose with the cake given to him upon his return to the Labour Party just this July.

The winner will receive a bottle of Châteauneuf-du-Pape courtesy of the charitable souls at Oddbins.

Their ‘Wine Not War’ campaign calling for peace between Dave and Nick will donate £1 to War Child for every bottle of CNDP sold.

See what they did there.

The winning entry better be good.

Usual rules apply…

A source close to the Standards and Privileges Committee pointed out to Guido that the police could not use the evidence gathered by the Committee during their investigation because it was subject to parliamentary privilege. Now that it has been published however it is no longer privileged and can be used by the forces of the law.

Guido has spoken to m’learned counsel and they have confirmed this is the case. He has therefore just put in a new complaint to the Met:

This ain’t over…

The Standards and Privileges Committee report on Denis MacShane is so damning that Labour HQ have already said his career is over. The report found that MacShane:

• Claimed nearly £20,000 a year in expenses for an office based in the garage of his South Yorkshire home.
• Signed claims with a “nom de plume” purporting to come from a General Manager who did not in fact exist.
• Knowingly submitted nineteen false invoices over a period of four financial years which were plainly intended to deceive the Parliamentary expenses authorities.
• Claimed thousands of pounds for eight computers that got ‘lost’ or were taken by interns.
• Claimed £12,900 for invoices from his EPI slush fund. He didn’t provide a single receipt for payments.

Do not pass go. Do not collect £200. Go straight to jail… if there was any justice.

Labour have been forced to suspend Denis MacShane yet again:

“These are very serious findings concerning Denis MacShane and we accept his statement this morning that his career as a Labour MP is effectively over. In the light of the report’s recommendations to the House the Labour Party has suspended Denis MacShane with immediate effect, pending a full NEC enquiry. We will be talking to Denis MacShane about his future and the best course of action for him and for his constituency.”

If MacShane has one shred of decency left he would resign today.

UPDATE:

Close friend of @DenisMacShane tells me "I think it’s now clear Denis is finished."—
Harry Cole (@MrHarryCole) November 02, 2012

Standards and Privileges Committee report into Denis MacShane…

“The real mischief of Mr MacShane’s actions was that the method he adopted of submitting false invoices, as the Commissioner said, bypassed the checks and controls the House had instituted in a way which enabled Mr MacShane to spend public money as he thought fit.”

Statement from Rt Hon Kevin Barron MP, Chair of the Standards and Privilege Committee:

“The Report states that this was the gravest case which has come to the Committee for adjudication. It sets out the Committee’s views and reasoning clearly, and is accompanied by the detailed memorandum from the Parliamentary Commissioner for Standards, as well as Mr MacShane’s response. I am sure the House of Commons will consider our recommendation as soon as possible. It would not be appropriate for me or any other Member of the Standards and Privileges Committee to comment on the substance of the Report before the House debates the matter.”

Standards and Privilege Committee’s report conclusion:

“We accept that Mr MacShane is widely acknowledged for his interest in European affairs, and the funds he claimed could be said to have been used in supporting that interest. Those activities may have contributed to his Parliamentary work, albeit indirectly. He has expressed his regret, and repaid the money wrongly claimed. But this does not excuse his behaviour in knowingly submitting nineteen false invoices over a period of four financial years which were plainly intended to deceive the Parliamentary expenses authorities. This is so far from what would be acceptable in any walk of life that we recommend that Mr MacShane be suspended from the service of the House for twelve months. This would mean he lost his salary and pension contributions for this period.”

DEVELOPING…

UPDATE: Full background on MacShane’s expenses shame can be found here.

If the lawyers don’t spike it, tonight’s Newsnight could be pretty spectacularly explosive. Bureau of Investigative Journalism hack Iain Overton has been working on a major story that is currently being legalled.

Hopefully George Entwistle has not commissioned any forthcoming Christmas specials about said politician…

If all goes well we've got a Newsnight out tonight about a very senior political figure who is a paedophile.—
Iain Overton (@iainoverton) November 02, 2012

Read the most bitter media moan of the day…

…Over on MediaGuido…

The award for the most bitter moan of the day goes to archaic socialist rag the Morning Star. The under-pressure daily splashes on the news that Whitehall has stopped taking the paper, with Downing Street recently telling Guido they now take the Daily Star Sunday instead. In true Morning Star style their ‘exposé’ reels off a withering paranoid rant that the evil Tories are trying to silence them, throwing in some pretty tame digs at their  more popular rival for good measure.

More likely Ministers and their minions decided they wants news, not Marxist rants…