October 31st, 2012

Guardian Gallows Humour Gag

Guido hears that Guardian hacks are being offered £100,000 if they take redundancy. Given that they are trying to move 70 of their staff on, it’s going to be a costly cost saving.

But why £100,000? The latest gag doing the rounds is because that’s how much the paper loses every day.

Boom tish…


29 Comments

  1. 1
    Fatso watson watch says:

    100,000 thats peanuts I spend that on doing up my flat mutters watson

    Like

  2. 2
    Jimmy Saviloy says:

    Why are they making cuts?

    Surely they should invest.

    What would Ed Balls say? Too far too soon.

    Is Polly Toynbee taking a pay cut?

    Like

  3. 3
    Tom Watson MP says:

    £100,000 is what the tax payer spends subsidising my daily lunch at Westminster.

    Like

  4. 4
    Liam Byrne says:

    There’s no money left

    Like

  5. 5
    jgm2 says:

    100K? That has to be several times their average annual salary.

    Can you imagine working for a company that is losing so much money that is cheaper long-term for them to pay you off with two or three years annual salary than it is to keep you around cluttering the place up?

    The same economics apply to Brown’s miracle million. It would have been cheaper to bung ‘em all 100K on Day One with a P45 than keep them around for the next five years. And maybe the next five years after that too.

    This is the kind of hard-nosed economics that nails the big lie – the big lie being that it is ‘cheaper’ to pay folk to sit around being unproductive than it is to give them a payoff and a P45 and let everybody move on with their lives. And it is wonderful that the big lie is being nailed at the home of bedwetter central.

    How can the bedwetters
    claim that it is cheaper to keep Brown’s miracle million employed in warm corner offices in council offices and NHS trusts and schools the length and breadth of the UK than it is to simply pay them off and fire them now that their own idiot mothership has arrived at the same simple economic reality?

    Like

    • 7
      Anonymous says:

      Hezbollah’s spy cameras

      Report says terror group finished installing surveillance cameras along border with Israel

      Like

    • 18
      Moussa Koussa's pet meerkat says:

      But it’s OK to pay Brooks £7m?

      Like

      • 21
        JH says:

        Er, if a private company wants to pay someone £7 or £7 million it is their business, no matter how preposterous the sum.

        News International does not lose £50 million a year. If provides a product lots of people buy, voluntarily.

        Like

    • 22
      Peter Grimes says:

      Don’t you believe that £100k is a big multiplier of their salary.

      They are overpaid to a man, and in PollyTwaddle’s case, indeterminate.

      Like

      • 27
        Anonymous says:

        It’s £100k to take redundancy, i.e., this is a “sweetner”. Actual terms will be as statutory requirements or contract plus the £100k

        Like

  6. 8
    Lizzie says:

    I wonder how much of their salaries the Guardian’s champagne socialists like Polly Toynbee and Seumas Milne have offered to give up in order to save the jobs of the other Guardian workers to be made redundant? Or do they only believe in ‘workers’ solidarity’ for other people, i.e., when it won’t cost them anything personally?

    Like

  7. 11
    Engineer says:

    The first £30k is tax free. The remainder is taxable at whatever rate the recipient was paying income tax in the year in which it is received (that’ll be 40% for most Grauniad hacks, I expect).

    There are a couple of dodges (being the Grauniad, they’ll know this already). One is to bung a lump into your pension fund, if you’ve got one. Another is to split the ‘dundancy over two tax years; if you don’t earn anything in the second tax year, the ‘dundancy counts as income, and you may only pay tax at the lower rate.

    If you don’t have a private pension fund, and pay tax at 20%, you won’t be entitled to 100k. There’s a limit on how much ‘dundancy you can get (three times salary, from memory – don’t quote me on that, may be wrong.)

    Stand by for more Grauniad tax fiddles.

    Like

    • 12
      Nom Dom Nom says:

      Not sure this is correct re: how much redundancy one can receive. I don’t believe there is a limit.

      Also the 30k tax free is not for redundancy payments, but rather its a better way to pay ‘some’ people – you simply breach the employment contract and offer them 30k to not kick up a fuss (which they wont as its mutual). If you offer more than 30k for a breach of contract its taxed

      I think !

      Like

  8. 13
    JH says:

    Let’s see. Guardian print edition is completely financially unviable, it loses £50 million odd a year and Daddy (read: offshore tax avoidance trust) has finally had enough.

    Losing a few hacks, so they have to cut n’paste even more content and make it even more painfully obvious the internet is eating their lunch, will not be a big help. So they need to end the print edition.

    However, that immediately loses the brand’s considerable kudos of being a ‘newspaper’. Without that daily set-in-print hold-it-in-your-hand opinion, it is something fleeting, the regurgitations of an online database. It still costs a lot of money to gather that content, but who is going to advertise there once the Guardian brand takes such a staggering hit?

    They already admit they find it hard to monetise their online presence. Who’s going to pay for their lovely offices and inspiration spaces?

    I do worry.

    Like

    • 25
      Yeah, right... says:

      but who is going to advertise there once the Guardian brand takes such a staggering hit?

      The BBC?

      Like

  9. 15
    john prescott THE COMMISSIONATOR says:

    surely they need to shoot 200+ to break even

    Like

  10. 16
    Rupert my Hero says:

    Reduce the Head Count, starting at the expensive top. Cruelty to Animals ( and Birds) would even stop me from putting the Guardian in my Budgie’s Cage for him to crap on.

    Like

  11. 17
    JH says:

    Accept £100K, or be faced with a chained gate within 2 years as the operation goes bust.

    Hum ha, hum ha, hum ha.

    Like

  12. 20
    jrand says:

    All going according to plan then says public service advertising manager (now putting ‘em all on the web free).

    Like

  13. 23
    Whippersnapper2 says:

    100,000 quid is that all?
    Dear me what has the world come to amongst the champagne socialists?
    I keep wondering if Ms. Polly two face ‘s Tuscan villa is on the bank guarantee list – oh I do hope so, she is such a supporter of the rag surely she offered to ‘help’ at some stage.

    Like

  14. 26
    Yeah, right... says:

    Sir,

    I have noticed a more than passing similarity between MediaGuido and the Street of Shame section in a little known satirical organ known as Private Eye.

    Could they be related? I think we should be told.

    Like


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