October 29th, 2012

Rich & Mark’s Monday Morning View


  1. 1
    Fred West Paving Ltd says:

    What. The. Fuck?

  2. 2
    Ed Millionaireband says:

    Thtop inthulting Gordon.

  3. 3
    Nullbymouth says:


  4. 4
  5. 5
    Anonymous says:

    Every Monday morning, I get, in despair because I’m crap at my chosen profession. Then I see Rich and Mark’s work, and realise that it’s not just me.

  6. 6
    ed martin says:

    are cartoonists always overdrawn?

  7. 7
    Dr Who says:

    Harsh but fair. I hope no money changes hands for these strange scribblings.

  8. 8
    Spode says:

    Greedo owes me £2,000 for two retina implants.

  9. 9
    Guido(I love the Nevis tax regime) says:

    Doesn’t look like Jimmy Savile to me !

  10. 10
    Broadsword calling Danny Boy says:

    Go on then. I give in – what is the answer to today’s cryptic clue?

  11. 11
    Leverson says:

    I’m on a nice little earner together with the rest of my circus performers.

    The job of the media is to root around in the gutter and expose our corrupt politicians and hypocritical exhibitionist celebrities by whatever means necessary — but I cannot possibly come to that conclusion.

  12. 12
    Widescreen2010 says:

    This one really does reach new levels of ‘WTF’.
    Can someone please explain?

  13. 13
    Spot says:

    Far more important article than this utter crap by R&M.
    The bloody gov pissing our taxes down the drain.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  14. 14
    Anonymous says:

    That is what they do , don’t you know, what, what.

  15. 15
    Spot says:

    Dont bother going there, but check out this one the EU membership


  16. 16
    Anonymous says:

    “Newmarket sausages granted European protected status”

    Eric is protecting his larder.

  17. 17
    Anonymous says:

    It’s not Leon Brittan is it?

  18. 18
    Greychatter says:

    On the side list of links I notice GOD is below George Osbourne and above Gordon Brown.

    Wonder if this is a sign of importance in to-days world?

  19. 19
    UKIP.i.am says:

    Gandalf the Bald?

  20. 20
    M'lud says:

    A clear case of excessive substance abuse over the weekend.

  21. 21
    UKIP.i.am says:

    About time the UKexit bandwagon started rolling, eh Ed?

  22. 22
    Spot says:

    + Many billions
    When do we want it – NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  23. 23
    Phil says:

    Rusbridger appears to have put on weight!

  24. 24
    So many to choose from says:

    So who’s the former high ranking Tory minister from the 80s who the D Star say regularly fiddled kids and whose crimes were covered up by government top brass with threats to the police to stop investigating?

  25. 25
    blub says:

    another Europhile

  26. 26
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    Don’t listen to these Tory politicians your Lordship. The press needs to be severely curtailed, censored and regulated. Exposure of corrupt politicians is not the job of the media, supporting and protecting them is. Might I suggest that you adopt the Russia model of press regulation, it works well, as does everything else in Russia. Boaz.

  27. 27
    Cub says:

    The BBC owes me a new rectum.

  28. 28
    Brittan's Got Talent says:

    Leon Brittan/Simon Cowell – doing G_d’s work – fucking goys up the arse.

  29. 29
    Ex Ah! Monika says:

    Daddy. Is it true that when you became an MP you swore the Hippocratic Oath?

    No, Darling; Mummy was just saying I have become a swearing hypocritical oaf.

  30. 30
    Hugh Janus says:

    And a particularly slimy one at that. Not for nothing is he known as ‘slug Brittan’.

  31. 31

    “You ain’t seen me right” !

  32. 32
    Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    This morning the bBBC have given full coverage of millionarbands latest wheez, and spun out the subject around other ‘news’ items.
    They have also spent a great deal of time talking about how one man might havesaid something another man did not like.

    What they have not done is talked about themselves in relation to the hidden core of shit that is currently the big topic of the day, unlike when the prevent Murdoch setting up a rival broadcasting outlet season was in full swing whereby all its various media tenticals were banging on constantly night and day about some actors geting their phone messages listened to.

  33. 33
    Anonymous says:

    Jabba the Hutt hired by evil Tory oppressors.

  34. 34
    Grollace says:

    So the entire staff of News-of-World were transformed into a rough handled, wooden mace/club thingmy-bob.
    I had, strangely enough, been wondering what had become of them all.

  35. 35
    Max Cliffraud says:

    My clients are all innocent.

  36. 36
    Nick says:

    It is a revelation to me that the supposedly neutral Electoral Commission is funding the LibLabCon three-branch conglomerate with my taxes.

  37. 37
    Widescreen2010 says:

    Well, it is definitely Capt. Mainwaring but what is he doing?

  38. 38
    Nick says:

    Mr Granger.

  39. 39
    Archer Karcher says:


    We didn’t need one to join, why do we need one to leave? Just elect people willing to get the job done, or kick out those who will not get it done.

  40. 40
    The Rt Hon Baron Hacker of Cockups says:

    Another success to rival my campaign to “Save the British Sausage” which launched my leadership campaign

  41. 41
    noolamaC says:

    I thought all mps had to sign the hypocritical oat, after all it goes with the job

  42. 42
    genghiz the kahn says:

    A nice little earner who managed to ignore the large elephant in the room, a public broadcaster with a monopolistic position in local, national radio and tv, a significant web presence and a history of covering up stories about the misdeeds of its staff over 40 years or more.

  43. 43
    JabbaTheCat says:

    Beat me to it…

  44. 44
    noolamaC says:

    Guido wants you to buy the Sunday Star, he says that it is only 90p, and just think of the babe piccies and the footy

  45. 45
  46. 46
    Spot says:

    Guido, can you please sort out the scripting on this site!!

  47. 47
    noolamaC says:

    You are not talking about News International group are you?

  48. 48
    Poker Face says:

    Is it captain Mainwaring?

  49. 49
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Which NI’s national or local radio station can you listen too?

  50. 50

    We can’t be expected to remember who we knobbed 40 years ago !

  51. 51
    National Socialist says:

    More like Private Pike

  52. 52

    Stinkfinger ?

  53. 53
    Chris Bryant 's underpants says:

    No fat Hunt who claims £7 from the taxpayer as expenses for a fuckin survey is going to tell me what to do .

  54. 54
    nellnewman says:

    Is it Pickles defending freedom of the press against leveson?

  55. 55
    Anonymous says:

    IT is British.
    IT is for Brainwashing.
    IT is for Children.

    our brains are not dirty.
    why are we being offered a wash?

  56. 56
    noolamaC says:

    He will have to get his adoring ace contributor 8i££y to look into it, his moddy botty has gone awry as usual

  57. 57
    noolamaC says:

    Can you think of anyone in the HoC who even approaches his size Nell

  58. 58

    Last week up in Warrington somebody robbed an unguarded freight train
    netting themselves Ten cases of anti tank mines
    The police have since found seven of the cases leaving three missing
    What bothers me is they are running with the line that the thieves didn’t know what they were stealing
    how can they be so sure that islamists haven’t helped themselves to these unguarded munitions ?

  59. 59
    National Socialist says:

    It is the highly-subsidised House of Commons food.

  60. 60
    max clifford's trouser snake says:

    Yes, they pay Guido.

  61. 61
    Angus says:

    The fucking Beano is making more sense than this Blog!!

  62. 62
    National Socialist says:

    Because the police are very clever.

  63. 63

    Еrrr? Іs іt clеvеr?

    Dо crоcоdіlеs hаvе lоng rеd tоnguеs? Thе Grееn thіng yоu cаn оnly just sее іs а crоcоdіlе, іsn’t іt? Cаn’t Rіch аnd mаrk drаw а crоcоdіlе аnd sо hаvе tо lеаvе mоst оf іt оut оf thе pіcturе?

    Іs іt Pіcklеs? Оr Rіchаrd Dіmblеby? Оr Bіlly Smаrt?

    І thіnk І’ll stіck tо quаntum mеchаnіcs. Іt’s еаsіеr.

    [F U Mоdbоt!]

  64. 64

    Good morrow, sir.

    Trust you are exceptionally well. Have you finished your bronze mine escapades for the year or is there still a hole or two you would like to get into? LOL!

  65. 65

    No not quite
    There is a small tight hole hiding behind a little bush i’d like to squeeze into

  66. 66
    8illy 8owden, the world's greatest umplre says:

    Mr Papagopolos from Coronation Street.

    As with the oft-mentioned-above Captain Mainwaring, played by Arthur Lowe. There’s a theme emerging.

  67. 67
    ed martin says:

    is this Eric Pickles performing as the eclipse of the Sun

    a case of peeing in the Wind?

  68. 68
    Stroppycow says:

    Er…what does it mean exactly??

  69. 69
    Anonymous says:

    No matter what the press does, it is Her Majesty’s Government.
    The government is owned.

  70. 70
    Pedant says:


  71. 71
    Dr Johnson says:

    Oats are for cattle and Scottish peasants.

  72. 72
    Anonymous says:

    politicians report to wherever their privileges are coming from. ultimately it is HER majesty’s government. Her business?

  73. 73
    Sir Humphrey says:

    I rather liked those square Eurosausages after my kedgeree.

  74. 74
    Quiet Bat Person says:

    Bronze? Tungsten is the Metal of the Day. Ask Germany.

  75. 75

    That rather misses the point that there was not a Paleolithic period named the Tungsten Age, leaving remains for the modern day enquiring mind, such as FREDDIE STARR ATE MY SISTER, to explore the wonders of when not in his van off to Whitworth or similar delightful spots.

  76. 76
    But everyone knows says:

    Does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy…..

  77. 77
    But everyone knows says:

    Don’t tell him Pike!

  78. 78
    I know everything about art, I just don't know which art I lke says:

    Definitely one to hang in the Tate Modern!

  79. 79
    sticking to the script says:

    use Firefox with ghostery add-on and it sorts it out for you!

  80. 80
    A Mitchell.Bike repairs & Spares. says:

    I think its my mate Fatty Pickles.

  81. 81
    noolamaC says:

    I don’t listen to any of them, only watch tv for 2 hours, more tv channels more unmitigated rubbish

  82. 82
    noolamaC says:

    OK hands up I missed the “h” as Ballsy would, “So What”

  83. 83
    noolamaC says:

    I don’t think Stringfellow would be able to, a few years ago he bragged about a 1,000

  84. 84
    noolamaC says:

    They tell me Whitworth’s used to make a good IPA the locals used to swear by it

  85. 85
    noolamaC says:

    Yup. but is it as funny

  86. 86
    noolamaC says:

    It could be a T. Rex, Cat

  87. 87
    noolamaC says:

    Is it a case of yearning for the early 1960’s Coronation Street? Desperate

  88. 88
    Pundit Too says:

    The BBC’s odious Caroline Quinn on World at One has just announced that President Obama has cancelled his election itinary to return to Washington. No mention that Romney cancelled his itinary a day ago.
    Bias? What bias?
    When is Jimmy the Red Naughty going on his all expenses paid pilgrimage to the USA to teach the Americans about left wing democracy and bias, and tell the British public how great Obama really is and how Romney is a Moron? – last word speling based on BBC and Liebour left whinge edukasion standerds.

  89. 89
    BBC Disinfotainment Commissioning Team says:

    Quite. And we feel the NI tax everyone has to pay is an outrage to humanity.

  90. 90
    Pickles ate my mattress says:

    Your,e dead Freddie.

  91. 91
    Scotspillock says:

    Werrre dooooomed ah tell ye,dooomed.

Seen Elsewhere

Users of Gay Hook-Up App Grindr Infected | TechnoGuido
ISIS Raising Funds Online Using Bitcoin | TechnoGuido
UKIP’s Youth Challenge | BBC
ISIS Operative: This Is How We Send Jihadis To Europe | BuzzFeed
Shapps Defends Bashir Defection | Seb Payne
Tory Leadership Contenders Jostle Over Europe | Alex Wickham
Cutting Taxes is Good For You | Art Laffer
Suspects Will Now Have to Prove Innocence | Laura Perrins
Labour Cllr: Cops Shouldn’t Stop Petrol Thieves | HandF Forum
Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath

Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,717 other followers