October 27th, 2012

Saturday Seven Up

This week 115,011 visitors visited 347,680 times viewing 600,024 pages. The top stories in order of popularity were:

You’re either in front of Guido, or behind…


  1. 1
    smoggie says:

    Think I’m in front

  2. 2

    Good to see Tessa Tickles come back for a final look last night.

    I miss her posts and bet others do too.

  3. 3

    Hi smoggie! What are you doing up this early?

  4. 4
    G Glitter says:

    As we now know, Jeremy Hunt refused to disclose a £1,435 donation from The Groucho Club (here). This is a very upmarket exclusive members only club in Soho, London for people related to the Culture, Media and Arts industry. There are also MPs who are/were members, and former Prime Ministers have been known to frequent it. The managing director is a Mr John James Henry Lewis who paid £4,000 for Jeremy Hunt in 2009 to fly to New York to meet employees of Rupert Murdoch. In addition, John James Henry Lewis gave Jeremy Hunt a cash present of £25,000. A daughter of JJH Lewis, a Ms Daisy Lewis also gave Jeremy Hunt a present of £5,000 cash. In all, payments from Lewis to Hunt exceeded £35,000 over 4 separate donations. He also gave £400,000+ to the Tory Party.

    The question as to why Jeremy Hunt listed 3 of these in the Register of Members’ Interests but not the fourth one (The Groucho Club) is a mystery. The Groucho club was the subject of a lengthy libel proceeding after award winning investigative journalist Tyrone D Murphy, who is in the process of writing a book entitled The Groucho Gate Affair, was sued by the company. The Groucho Club tried to prevent the publication of that book through a libel case but proceedings were eventually dropped. The charges were dropped because Murphy made clear that he was prepared to contest them. Tyrone Murphy has kept a close eye on the Groucho Club ever since and in 2010 he submitted repeated requests to the police to investigate a child pornography ring that was using a members forum by the name of “TheGrouchoClub”. Most of what Tyrone alleges I do not wish to repeat here, instead I will simply provide the link to the lengthy piece so that you can read it yourself (see link).

    Hat tip The Green Benches

  5. 5

    What a wonderful example of copy pasta.

    Do you do anything else BTW?

  6. 6
    Dick the Prick says:

    Sooo because Jezza’s a member of a club that may or may not have a paedo ring he’s a paedo? Fair enough, so by that reasoning everyone at the BBC is paedo too? Hmm..tit.

  7. 7
    Dick the Prick says:

    Paste and copy maybe? The lad’s a savant!

  8. 8
    smoggie says:

    On central asian time.

  9. 9
    Dick the Prick says:

    What’s that? £15 every half hour? I shall obtain my coat…

  10. 10
    Sweeney, The says:

    I missed Tessa tickles last night?

  11. 11
    Kebab Time says:

    ” The Green Benches”

    Ah the good Doctors blog…..


  12. 12

    Do I have to be the butt of all humour here? :-)

  13. 13
    Kebab Time says:

    Another good week Guido and team.

    Keep it up!

  14. 14

    Have a nice one, mate!

    DtP is expecting something on the cheap by the sound of it…

  15. 15
    Anonymous says:

    a man, a computer programmer hires a … to slap him every time he goes on to facebook.
    his productivity has doubled.

  16. 16

    Syndromically speaking, for sure.

  17. 17
    UKIP.i.am says:

    It is a tricky one this. Which is worse? The people who harboured Jimmy Savile at the BBC (thus allowing many more children to be abused) or the people who are now defending the BBC by trying to deflect blame onto other people (thus making it more likely that the same kind of crimes will happen in future).

  18. 18
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    I would like to state categorically once again that I am not and never have been a member of the Groucho Club, I never met either Jimmy Savile nor for that matter Gary Glitter or Freddie Star, nor have I ever appeared on Top of the Pops. Boaz.

  19. 19
    UKIP.i.am says:

    It was a bad week for Ed Balls.

  20. 20
    Kebab Time says:

    Ed Balls is a great asset…………………….. to the Government.

  21. 21

    Νоthіng vеry gооd аbоut Dr (hа! hа!*) Éоіn Сlаrkе.

    * Μоdеrn Ηіstоry аt Ϙuееns, Βеlfаst just scrаpеs іt, І suppоsе.

    But іsn’t іt crаppy tо pоst а pіеcе lіkе thаt аnd tо fаіl tо quоtе thе sоurcе оr prоvіdе thе lіnks. Thе dоlt dіdn’t еvеn hаvе thе prеsеncе оf mіnd tо rеmоvе thоsе (hеrе) lіnk plаcеhоldеrs. Lоwеrs thе tоnе оf thіs аugust plаcе…

  22. 22

    They are all the miserable spawn of Beelzebub!

    Bloody hell, beginning to sound like Paisley!

  23. 23
    Spode says:

    As a long-standing resident of the south, I would like to salute Handycock for his selfless dedication to public service, an example to all those sofa-bound “experts” who are so quick to cavil and criticise. Here is a man of limited intelligence and education, well, extremely limited, actually, who has made the very best of himself and exploited taken advantage of all the opportunities offered him by our society; but in return, and in recompense, for he is duly grateful, he has gone above and beyond the call of duty (cont. p. 94)


  24. 24
    Kebab Time says:

    I think you forgot the “Phd” bit ;)

  25. 25
    Spode says:

    Have you read Mrs Paisley’s account of their courtship and the way he used to shout sweet nothings at her? Brought a tear to my eye, so it did.

  26. 26

    Ooooh! Thanks for reminding me.


  27. 27
  28. 28
    Sounds the type says:

    Central asia eh Smoggie, why do I have an image of you out there looking for a bride ?

  29. 29
  30. 30
    Anonymous says:

    Sc, why don’t you find yourself a Thai bride who would fleece you of every penny you’ve got, it’ll be fun?

  31. 31
    i wuv u mr tiggles says:

    Er, no.

  32. 32
    Ed Miliband Thingth The Hitth says:

    Double CD, available at all Unite Union offices at a bargain price of just £150! Listen to Ed thing the hitth!

    Thtairway to Heaven

    Are You Lonethome Tonight?

    Mithter Thandman

    I Am The Walruth


    Wanna Be Thtartin Thomethin

    I Won’t Let The Thun Go Down On Me

    Another One Biteth The Dutht

  33. 33
    Standard says:

    Guido made it into yesterday’s Evening Standard. It said Scotland Yard has told McBride his email address when he was at Downing St was hacked. But the article stressed that the police weren’t claiming Guido had hacked the address.

  34. 34
    a non says:

    Good to see that Macks Cliffard has emerged from under his stone to represent further ‘celebrity’ lowlife tainted by the Jim Sav repercussions. NOT.

  35. 35
    Phat Phucker Ladyman says:

    me love you long time anonymong sucky sucky? Five dolla

  36. 36
    Ron Davies says:

    Remember me?

  37. 37
    Tinfoil tits says:

    All this boaz bollocks is getting tedious. I suppose you also believe the theory that Jack the Ripper was a Mason because of the ritualistic nature of the killings and the “Juwes are the ones who won’t be blamed” scrawled on a wall, supposedly a reference to the Masons’ Jubela, Jubelo and Jubelum? What a load of cock.


  38. 38
    Kebab Time says:

    My pleasure. What a good nature bunch we all are today.

  39. 39
    Kebab Time says:

    and Andrew Mitchell is a great asset to ………..

  40. 40
    Anonymous says:

    then you turned up

  41. 41
    Ex Ah! Monika says:

    Mail today,

  42. 42
    Kebab Time says:

    There is humour here?

  43. 43

    So Max Clifford has been approached by up to 15 celebrities who shagged underage girls/boys in the 70’s
    He is claiming as a defence that some of these pepole can’t remember what they did yesterday let alone what they did 40 years ago
    I can tell you what they did yesterday , They phoned Max Clifford because they are worried about what they did 40 years ago !

  44. 44
    Kebab Time says:

    that was such a good comment, I think you should make it again

  45. 45

    Same post posted under the name MFHsoCaCoS and was blocked
    WTF is wrong with this site ?

    Mornin Cat trust you are well sir ?

  46. 46
    More than 1000 fists says:

    We would not be wanting to draw attention away from the bbc cover up of saville eh?

  47. 47
    Freddie Starr says:

    I am not a pedalo!

  48. 48
    Kebab Time says:

    and there is nothing wrong with copy pasting – I do it all the time especially on my much read blog

  49. 49

    Very well, sir and glad to see that cannibalism is on its way back again after the ultra lows we have been experiencing of late. It is almost civilized by comparison.

  50. 50
    Jimmy So Vile says:

    Now they’re saying I had sex with corpses. They’re making a grave error. I wish to put a nail in the coffin of that story. People need to stop digging for more rumours about me. It’s time to bury this story once and for all.

  51. 51
  52. 52
    Fisting is Fun says:

    at a stretch

  53. 53
    God says:

    Tessa Tickles is God

  54. 54
    Kebab Time says:

    really funny comments from both of you – keep it up – love it here

  55. 55
    concrete pump says:

    fuck off – with knobs

  56. 56
    gramma says:

    It’s always mine, mine, just mine for some.

  57. 57
    concrete pump says:

    you are as much use as tits on a nun
    wank somewhere else

  58. 58
    Ed Miliband (Prime Minister designate) says:

    Labour MP Jon Cruddas banned from driving for having no insurance or MOT http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/law-and-order/9637209/Labour-MP-Jon-Cruddas-banned-from-driving-for-having-no-insurance-or-MOT.html … – this is worse than I though

  59. 59
    i wuv u mr tiggles says:

    Is that you Tessa?

  60. 60
    concrete pump says:

    Does your gunt have a crease down the middle…?

  61. 61
    Mrs Balls says:

    now Ed, did you leave the log unflushed?

    At mid day I was not in a position to establish there was a log in the pan.

  62. 62
    concrete pump says:

    It’s downhill all the way from here on in, little lickspittle

  63. 63
    Kebab Time says:

    harsh words but you are of course entitled to your opinion and I hold that right dear to my heart

  64. 64
    John Crudarse says:

    It’s all Fachar’s folt!

  65. 65
    CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

    I see the leftie fvcktards are really rattled by the BBC’s imminent demise. Spreading bullshit across the internet to implicate Conservatives with kiddie fiddling, in attempt to deflect attention from the BBC kiddie fiddlers.

    Conveniently, this libelous claim involves Murdoch and Hunt, the targets of the BBC-Labour-Guardian, hacking witch-hunt.

    Now that phone hacking has been sooooo overtaken by the nasty skeletons falling out of the BBC’s cupboard, you can smell the desperation by the left.

    The BBC are finished. Get over it!

  66. 66
    CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

    it’s not important if the perpetrator remembers, only the victim’s recollection matters!

  67. 67

    I was of course reffering to her “lower regions” LoL

  68. 68
    CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

    behaving like most of his constituents then!

  69. 69

    mornin Doner !

  70. 70
    Your Friendly Neighbourhood Cognomen Etymology Service says:

    The joke, in case anyone has missed the reference, is that Julius H. Marx, professionally known as “Groucho,” was wont to say that he would never join a club that would accept him as a member. A “Groucho Club,” therefore, borders on the absurd as oxymoronic. Then again, Jeremy Hunt and anyone of that ilk are absurd and moronic.

  71. 71
    Ex Ah! Monika says:

    lol and the wife too.

  72. 72

    Master of the single entendre, sir!

    I’m up there with you… oh, perhaps not! LOL

  73. 73
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    You must have been eating your much-delayed dinner, Chief Inspector.

  74. 74

    Well said. The cliteratichatterati laughed too early and too long…

  75. 75
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    There is one law for the poor and another law for the rest of us.

  76. 76
    Ex Ah! Monika says:

    For any foodies thinking of what to have for lunch. Heston’s advice


  77. 77
    Obama is a Marxist says:

    Libya?…..Calls for help?….. what calls for help? …..’er….. free contraceptives, abortion on demand…..’er …..’er………………

  78. 78
    Ed Miliband (Prime Minister designate) says:

    Fuck off you parasite.

  79. 79
    Ex Ah! Monika says:

    Catholic Church in England and Wales asks Vatican to posthumously strip Jimmy Savile of papal knighthood – @Telegraph

  80. 80
    Mrs Balls says:

    But Ed, Mrs Cameron heaved when she saw to turtles Head floating outof the water

    Ed: the log did not exist if I did not know about it

  81. 81
    I don't need no doctor says:

    So people should under take not to persecute you? It should be laid to rest for once and all?

  82. 82
    The missing link says:

    As indeed are you (here) here.

  83. 83
    I don't need no doctor says:

    I say to Max Clifford , there are some things even money cannot buy.

  84. 84
  85. 85

    Will they accidentally stroke his trousers in the groin area whilst stripping him so?

  86. 86
    smoggie says:

    People are accusing Bruce Forsyth’s absence from strictly this week as suspicious because of allegations over his friendship with Jimmy Saville.
    I can say Bruce is innocent and was very lovely to me when i meet him when i was 12 years old.
    Of course i still can’t tell anyone what we did together, or the evil pixies will kidnap me and I’ll never see my mum again.

  87. 87
    Synic says:

    What about all the k w e e r priests who have molested large numbers of children — many of whom are still alive, active, and still working.
    Yet more religious hypocrisy.

  88. 88
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Not heard anything about Tom Watson’s allegations he made in the HOC. I wonder if he has been warned off, as labour too would be dragged into under age sex allegations.
    Anyway Watson is a fat hypocritcal tosser.

  89. 89
    opportunity knocks says:

    The randy old queen SC is well into Eastern European rentboys innit?

  90. 90
    i wuv u mr tiggles says:

    says the uphill gardener

  91. 91
    The BBC says:

    Nice to paedo, to paedo nice.

  92. 92
    Slow Plodders says:

    We are working on our arrests strategy — the long grass is growing nicely. (P.S. IPPC report on Duggan’s murder will be published definitely by 2099 )

  93. 93
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Now we have a log defecit.

  94. 94

    You really sound as if you know what you are talking about, opportunity knocks.

  95. 95
    blub says:


  96. 96
    UKIP.i.am says:

    If he is implicated he is dancing on thin ice.

  97. 97
    blub says:

    Cameron has stopped talking about a public inquiry into paedophile rings at the BBC so job done?

  98. 98
    Ed Balls says:

    I have nver done a shit, in fact I don’t know what as shit is

  99. 99
    blub says:

    Cam-ron has stopped talking about europhile rings at the BBC so job done?

  100. 100
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    Thank you Spode. I would further like to add that I have removed the following items in my biography on my website:
    1. Education – Copnor School (left with no qualifications age 15).
    2. Chairman of NSPCC Southern Region.
    3. Director of BBC South Childrens Programmes.
    4. Member of Parliamentary prostitution and global sex trade Committee.
    5. Member of Parliamentary Thailand Committee.

    I am also no longer a school Governor in Portsmouth.


  101. 101
    Dick the Prick says:

    FFS. That is all.

  102. 102
    opportunity knocks says:

    i can smell the lavender from here sunshine.

  103. 103
    smoggie says:

    The hard currency slappers only charge in USD.

  104. 104
    smoggie says:

    Central Asia pal, not the far east. And looking for oil. Evidently your geography is as bad as your wit.

  105. 105
    The Firm of Burke and Hare says:

    The trouble is that these matters have a tendency to resurface sooner than you expect.

  106. 106
    illogical says:

    You will never find oil in Bradford!

  107. 107
    smoggie says:

    Hillsborough, Miners Strike & Savile demonstrate that the truth eventually comes out, especially when they try to hide it – Kebab Time next

  108. 108
    Super Barry-O says:

    And with a “perfect storm” about to hit the Middle East Coast States, I get a chance to look “presidential” as I deal with all the ramifications– Allah Be Praised! Let’s hope it’s a real devastating storm, and people die, and property is destroyed, so Romney has to suspend his campaign for fear of looking like a crass politician!

  109. 109
  110. 110

    That is what Savile sometimes said.

  111. 111
    Osama the Nazarene says:

    Some fun probably courtesy of the Bean Party, but amusing to South Africans nonetheless.


  112. 112
    frankly freddie i don't give a damn says:

    “Same post posted under the name MFHsoCaCoS and was blocked
    WTF is wrong with this site ?”

    A look in the mirror might be a good start fuckwit.

  113. 113

    You could save yourself money on expensive aerosol fresheners by sticking lavender up your arse.

    Every time you farted, a burst of soothing fragrance would be released into your room.

  114. 114
    pompa per calcestruzzo says:

    God is great – he said you’re a cuпt

  115. 115
    smoggie says:

    …great asset to pedestrians?

  116. 116
    pompa per calcestruzzo says:

    …says the fuckwit’s fuckwit

  117. 117
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

    Can you all check doiwn the back of your sofas ??

    Gordon and I seem to have lost £ 78,000,000,000

  118. 118
    anonymous says:

    concrete pimp, the Dean Gaffney of order_order.com.

  119. 119
    i wuv u mr tiggles says:

    a cuпt is useful, unlike you knobhead.

  120. 120
    smoggie says:

    fuck off tat

  121. 121
  122. 122
    Mr Nobody says:

    Balls and Miliband are unelectable. Labour don’t seem yet to have grasped this fact.

  123. 123
    Moussa Koussa's pet meerkat says:

    Is a billion 1000-million or 100-million?

    I’m very worried that Mr Osborne might have the decimal point in the wrong place.

  124. 124
    Sounds the type says:

    I wont take any lessons on Geography from someone who thinks most of Northumbria is in Scotland and Hadrians wall marks the border thank you very much.

  125. 125
    opportunity knocks says:

    You really sound as if you know what you are talking about, SC.

  126. 126
    frankly freddie i don't give a damn says:

    I wouldn’t recommend looking in the mirror for you pumpy, you know how it upsets you dear.

  127. 127
    Sounds the type says:

    I am well aware where Central Asia is , its Just that I see you as being desperate enough to go for a Kazakhstan or Uzbekistan Bride since your probably to well known around the bath houses of Bangkok.

  128. 128
    Anon says:

    Hahahahahaha….pumpanella is getting strop on!

  129. 129
    Saviles Travails says:

    I am going to go home and have a stiff drink, I am sure these rumours are dead wrong and I will undertake to clear my name .

  130. 130
    Saviles Travails says:

    Why ? I thought it was perfectly in keeping with what we know of the Catholic Church that they should honour a kiddie fiddler !

  131. 131

    I can smell the farts from here sunshine.

  132. 132
    Anonymous says:

    Is that Tampa or Tulsa?

  133. 133
    pompa per calcestruzzo says:

    Agree except the closest you have got to one was when you were born.

  134. 134
    opportunity knocks says:

    I should think you can with your head between your legs, bitch.

  135. 135
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Look in the mirror.

  136. 136
    Roscoe Rules says:

    Why is Watson getting all sweaty about a Conservative politician allegedly bumming 16 year old boys?
    His party changed the law to make it legal.

  137. 137
    mohammed from blackburn says:

    Fucking Londoners..

  138. 138
    Ex Ah! Monika says:

    Bruce Forsyth has his exotic little secret in Puerto Rico.

    Do we have an extradition treaty with Puerto Rico?

  139. 139

    At least mine is outside of my arse.

  140. 140
    i wuv u mr tiggles says:

    says the afterbirth that was kept instead of the baby.

  141. 141
    opportunity knocks says:

    Yeah it goes right up until it comes out of your mouth.

  142. 142
    Charles De Mendes RIP says:

    Too bad she wasn’t a Brazilian electrician. We all know what happens to them.

  143. 143
    ÁC1 says:

    Using the terms “hard currency” and “USD” in the same sentence will be regarded as amusing in the not too near future.

  144. 144
    Calamity Clegg says:

  145. 145
  146. 146

    You have to feel sorry for malaria.

    It may have caught Eric Joyce.

  147. 147
    ÁC1 says:

    Éоіn Сlаrkе MaD.

  148. 148
    Liam Byrne ( aka Baldemort ) says:

    Wooooops !!


  149. 149
    ÁC1 says:

    Once the immoral TV Tax (and the disguised unemployment benefit for luvvies called arts funding) is erased they’ll be no need for a DCMS.

  150. 150

    I would be astounded if any Conservative politician hadn’t bummed any 16 year old boys
    I thought it was compulsory at public school

  151. 151
    Jimmy the Dhimmi says:

    Is your surname, ‘Sovile’ ?

  152. 152
    anonymous says:

    Licence fee payers to fund BBC executives (on salaries of around £200,000 per year) legal representation over dropped Savile Newsnight program. The envy of the World…not.

  153. 153
  154. 154

    I think most of us know that Damian McBride was actively involved in smearing a number his political opponents.

    We know he is not keen to talk to police.

    We know he does not want to comment to the press.

    Why are you stirring it up for the poor man?

  155. 155
    Aunty Matter says:

    Ask Hattie Hatemenperson

  156. 156
    hype of the pops says:

    ffs, really, she feared men as a result and couldnt ever sleep with a date…and it caused her marriage to break up nine years ago?
    Get a fucking grip.

  157. 157
    scores on the back doors says:

    and on the conveyor belt tonight we have…a teddy bear, a box of lollipops, a little school uniform, a spunk convered matress,

  158. 158
    Kebab Time says:

    i dont understand

  159. 159
    despicable waste says:

    The BBC has received its last licence fee from me.

  160. 160
    Fred Davis says:

    Are you the pink one just behind the green ?

  161. 161
    Willard Romney says:

    I’ve yet to see that proved.

  162. 162
    Your Friendly Neighbourhood Extraordinary Measures Service says:

    Puerto Rico = US Protectorate, not self-governing in foreign affairs matters. You’re dealing with the US Departments of State, Justice, and Homeland Security on this one. We all know how that usually turns out; old Bruce will probably have pegged out by the time they’d be ready to turn him over. The wheels of justice grind slow (and come to a halt). Of course, if it’s to do with Jimmy Savile, they may just let him be put on a helicopter, and taken to the British Virgin Islands, by “mistake” and skip all the troublesome paperwork; a new “rendition” of an old favourite, you might call it.

  163. 163
    Sir Jim says:

    I pretended to run a marathon yesterday. Today I’m feeling a little stiff.

  164. 164
    Dim Jim - Idiot No.1 says:

    The fact, that you think cuddly McBride has been wronged, or could possibly be wronged in any way, shows us all exactly why you are this blog’s version of a village idiot.

  165. 165
    E. Bola says:

    I’m staying in the jungle.

  166. 166
    The BBC are cunts says:

  167. 167
    Anonymous says:

  168. 168
    jgm2 says:

    Lying c*unt. Claiming the economy was growing in 2008, 2009 and 2010.

    The problem with Balls is that he generates such a tirade of lies it’s difficult to keep track of all of them. While you’re trying to nail him down on one of his lies he generates another half dozen to try and cover his tracks.

  169. 169
  170. 170
    jgm2 says:

    Malaria fucks your liver. So Eric Joyce won’t notice a thing.

  171. 171
    it takes a village says:

    This blog is kind of a village and Jimmy IS it’s idiot.

  172. 172
    Socialists = Sociopaths says:

    Mendacity and hypocrisy. It’s in Libor’s D-N-A.

  173. 173
    open toe sandal flan licker.. says:

    has plod copped any of the bbc 12 yet ?

  174. 174
    smoggie says:

    Nonce Alert

    A man has been charged with the rape of a 15-year-old boy in Manchester.

    Police were called to a flat on Bloom Street in the city centre at about 16:30 BST on Wednesday.

    Domenyk James Lattlay-Fottfoy, 48, of Bloom Street, Manchester, who recently changed his surname from Noonan, is accused of four counts of rape and false imprisonment.

    Two other men, aged 21 and 36, have been released on police bail pending further inquiries.

    Mr Lattlay-Fottfoy is due to appear before magistrates later.

  175. 175
    Ex Ah! Monika says:

    BBC set to make 300 people millionaires.

    But…with your money.

  176. 176
    ffs! says:

    Stop conversing with yourself you fucking nutter.

  177. 177
    jgm2 says:

    I’d forgotten what thoroughly vile, wicked and malicious liar McBride is until you reminded us.

  178. 178
    jgm2 says:

    Neatly illustrating that while Labour were following T*ry spending plans then the deficit was under control.

    The second the Maximum Imbecile got his own mandate in 2001 it all went to shit.

  179. 179
    Jim Morrison says:

    I know this is old and I know it’s from the Gruinard but can you believe this ?


  180. 180
    smoggie says:

    You really are one horrible, dirty, greasy haired, blue nose Hunt!

  181. 181
    Ed Miliband (Prime Minister designate) says:

    For Halloween, my costume will have a big slit, a clitoris, some hair, plump lips and it will have a distinctive smell.

    I’m going as David Cameron.

  182. 182
    Rat's arse says:

    I think G.Glitter is, in fact, T.Watson. He talks AND writes a load of old fanny too.

  183. 183
    Anonymous says:

    didn’t get time offficer. but had time to l.i.v.e … oh … e.v.i.l one.
    without the heat of evil where will we be, freezing stiff?
    oh life, where is thou.
    i guess it is right here, right now.

  184. 184
    Cressida Bitch says:

    Thank you for allowing my subordinates to murder you. I got promoted after the excellent job I did as Gold Commander

  185. 185
    Bogeyman says:

    I see. Cruddas, darling of the Left, “forgets” to renew his insurance and MoT – a situation that could have catastrophic results in the event of a fatal crash – and gets a slap on the wrist.

    Meanwhile Osborne, hate figure of the Left, is roasted alive for “forgetting” to upgrade his train ticket, a situation of zero consequences.

  186. 186
    A. Corpse says:

    He did, and dead good it was too.

  187. 187
    Anonymous says:

    they are all in it, to.gather. to.gather. nice….maybe not as nice as we thought.

  188. 188
    Rat's arse says:

    Nice one ‘Doctor’.

  189. 189
    Anonymous says:

    fox hunting, trappers, and the charm of co.existence with lizards come to mind.

  190. 190
    A. Sinner says:

    Question To The Po pe

    Is Jimmy in hell? A Papal Knight in Hell ? Probably not alone.

  191. 191
    Rat's arse says:

    And we all know why Labour changed he Law Roscoe.

  192. 192
    Rat's arse says:

    Are you related to Silent Bob? You sound just like him.

  193. 193
    Macksquirter says:

    Strictly Come Dancing host Sir Bruce Forsyth has been acknowledged for his colossal career with a Guinness World Record.
    The 84-year-old star, is to be included in the 2013 edition of the book.

    Jimmys got a Chapter to himself

  194. 194
    Ex Ah! Monika says:

    No! But if it was in the Mail…

  195. 195
    Anonymous says:

  196. 196
    Ken Clar ke says:

    My policies are working.

    Ivan Leach, also known as Lee Cyrus, went missing from North Sea Camp open prison in Boston, Lincolnshire on Tuesday October 9 after being let out on day release.
    The 47 year-old is described as dangerous and predatory. He is believed to have carried out a very serious sexual attack in Tayside, Scotland, since he absconded.


    No wonder Jimmy felt safe.

  197. 197
    Anonymous says:

    Well it seems to be the only way you can avoid draconian moderation these days, put 140 characters in your Monika.

  198. 198
    Expat Geordie says:

    Personally I quite like the idea promulgated in the R4 sitcom “Old Harry’s Game” that there is a Saints Section, in Hell, and that all the Popes are down there suffering the eternal torment of being eight months pregnant.

  199. 199
    Expat Geordie says:

    Personally I quite like the idea promulgated in the R4 sitcom “Old H@rry’s Game” that there is a Saints Section, in Hell, and that all the Popes are down there suffering the eternal torment of being eight months pregnant.

  200. 200
    concrete pump says:

    You’re a c*nt and your comments suck balls.

  201. 201
    Tescos Tinned Tomatoes Are Far Too Expensive says:

    These supermarkets claim to be cheap but don’t want people to actually bother to see if that it true or not. If they have done nothing wrong, they would have nothing to hide..

  202. 202
    Maturbates & Johnson says:

    Hundreds of millions of sperm your father produced but he still got a cuпt like you.

  203. 203
    What cunts the BBC are says:

    Hunts, Hunts, Hunts

  204. 204
    Oddbod says:

    Bigger load of Handycock?

  205. 205
    jgm2 says:

    What’s the difference between a British wedding and a Muslim wedding?

    We give our women away, they sell theirs.

  206. 206
    Abu Qatada says:

    What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.

  207. 207
    zyxwvutsrqpomnlkjihgfedcba 9876543210 ZYXWVUTSRQPOMNLKJIHGFEDCBA FU ne0 1234567890 !"£$%^&*(){}[]:;@ says:

    Good idea!

  208. 208
    Paddy Pantsdown says:

    Hey Handy. You also had on your website biography that you worked for Mencap, but not that they fired you. It’s a good job that you removed that as well, especially as it was I and some of your Brothers who put you up for the CBE, for services to charity, when the only charity you worked for sacked you. Still you got what you wanted, more protection if you got caught with young girls. When are you and your boys going to send more donations down to Party funds?

  209. 209
    This week 115,011 visitors visited 347,680 times says:

    LMFTO!! In your dreams, fatty.

  210. 210
    ÁC1 says:

    When you actually look at what the Neo-Endogenous bollocks meant (Tax the fuck out of wealth creation and the economy will still grow), you realise what an idiot Brown was.

  211. 211

    Labour reproduce through the rectum. It’s all they know.

  212. 212
    ÁC1 says:

    There’s another storm coming along.. The Benghazi cover up is unravelling, and the buck stops with whoever decided to stop the rescue mission…

  213. 213
    ÁC1 says:

    Is this story filed with the usual AlJaBeebya prominence?

  214. 214
    Call me Dave says:

    Hurricane sandy which has been causing havoc across the carribean islands has now been downgraded to a british summer.

  215. 215
    ÁC1 says:

    Murd0ch hacked a girls phone. Press goes OMGWTFBBQ!!
    BBC covers up for p43d0phile ring. Press goes tumbleweed

  216. 216
    smoggie says:

    Sad lickle cwipple tat can’t get his wheelchair into the knocking shops. Poor tat don’t worry they do home delivery.

  217. 217

    We have it all wrong here. Jimmy Savile is unbelievably popular for Halloween.

    Ten people a day are coming in for the Savile costume at Harlequin costume hire shop in Maidstone.

    Retailers across the country have sold out of wigs, vests and shiny shellsuits.

  218. 218
    thick as thieves says:

    Mummy in heavan will not be best pleased.

  219. 219
    Lifting his Patten says:

    Jimmy performed the Anamnesis which is an expression of offering and intercession for the living and dead.

  220. 220
    smoggie says:

    In Australia?

  221. 221
    smoggie says:

    frickin impostor

  222. 222
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Simple is better, Ed. Just put a pair of electrodes on your neck. You’re most of the way there already. A dark jumper and platform shoes– voila! Herman Munster!

  223. 223
    Aunty Matter says:

    Their women have to be in bed by 7 so they are up in time for school, if they are lucky enough not to be shot

  224. 224
    Marion the cat says:

    Bring back the thumbs.

  225. 225
    Far too verbose for Silent Bob says:
  226. 226
    Anonymous says:

    No good without an Enigma machine though.

  227. 227
    Aunty Matter says:

    All work for the BBC

  228. 228

    Is it a crafty way of evading possible arrest on account that everyone knows the fucker is dead?

  229. 229
    Obama is a Marxist says:

    Its very simple:- They knew it was a terrorist attack in real time, they refused to help three times, and they allowed 4 americans to die. Then they lied about it and then told lies about their lies – this makes, or rather should make, ‘Watergate’ look like a storm in a tea cup.

    Obama knew and then covered it up with a whole series of lies and distractions.

    He is not fit for office

  230. 230
    Anonymous says:

    Sandy never sounded very threatening.

  231. 231

    Chris Huhne has not been wasting his time:

  232. 232
    zyxwvutsrqpomnlkjihgfedcba 9876543210 ZYXWVUTSRQPOMNLKJIHGFEDCBA FU ne0 1234567890 !"£$%^&*(){}[]:;@ says:

    FU ne0

  233. 233
    Anonymous says:

    secrecy leads to entrapment.by.shame. muslim men tinker with under age children, but do the recpients feel shame?

  234. 234
    nellnewman says:

    Did mr porky twatson claim similar figures? I must have missed that!

  235. 235
    Rod Stewart says:

    I don’t care if they say it makes me look like Jimmy Savile, I’m STILL going to dress like this when I go to a football match!

  236. 236
    A braying cheating bullying two-faced liar and sanctimonious git who put Prudence on the streets says:

    People want me to tell them ma secret of how I achieved an economic miracle!

    But I say, – not until you put me back in ma rightful place!

  237. 237
    Selohesra says:

    Such witty repartee & word play – has Oscar Wilde been reincarnated?

  238. 238
    Anonymous says:

    The Guardian today mentioned the Paedophilia Information Exchange, which campaigned for sex between adults and children to be decriminalised,whilst conveniently omitting any reference to Harriet Harman…

  239. 239
    terrytory says:

    But you must be wrong! After all, every single police log is nothing but the plain unvarnished truth, and there has never, ever, been a single case of an incorrect fact in a police officer’s log.

    So, we can be confident that Andrew Mitchell’s words were taken down verbatim.

    And I am one of Icke’s lizards

  240. 240
    Anonymous says:

    encourage and support.
    we need a boycott BBC website. list everyone who is refusing to pay licence fee. list everyone who is refusing to visit BBC website.

  241. 241
    terrytory says:

    surely all this vilification or Mr McBride is misplaced. After all, he is now the Head of Media and PR for Cafod, the Catholic Aid Agency.

    The Catholic Bishops of England & Wales would never appoint anyone to such a position if he hadn’t had a pure, unsullied record of dispassionate public service.

    I am, of course, a lizard.

  242. 242
    Daniella says:

    Perhaps it was granted for all the good work you did in Romania Handy, with all those orphans and young girls.

  243. 243
    Mere mortal. says:

    Illiterate or what?

  244. 244
    Jimmy Savile says:

    Jim fixed it for him. I had some influence with the RC Church, if you recall. How do you think I got my Papal Knighthood?

  245. 245
    Expat Geordie says:

    But what if the perpetrator doesn’t remember because it never actually happened?

    There are such things as false memories.

    I’m not trying to downplay this but these are not open and shut cases. The situation may not be as bad as is currently being portrayed. Then again it may be a hell of a lot worse. We can just hope that the police ignore the current hysteria and are able to properly determine what actually happened, hopefully without causing collateral damage to innocent men or compounding the hurt caused by the victims.

  246. 246
    Berry ,M,Deep says:

    Very CRYPTic

  247. 247
    Expat Geordie says:

    If it was a spontaneous demonstration about that film, why did 30,000 Benghazi citizens take to the streets a few days later in a PRO-American demonstration?

    You’re right, it was a terrorist attack and Obama lied about it.

  248. 248
    Expat Geordie says:

    Sorry, forgot. The left can’t understand the concept of a pro-American demonstration.

  249. 249
    Expat Geordie says:

    Be careful with the lizard thing Terry. Icke lives at Ryde on the Isle of Wight. His daughter in law comes from the Island, and it was her brother who got arrested for singing “Kung Fu Fighting” at a Chinese restaurant.

    Now the people on the IOW are a bit inbred, a bit reptilian perhaps, and I wouldn’t be surprised if that is where Icke got his ideas from.

  250. 250
    Bogeyman says:

    Sir James did get a fucking grip – on her rump. But I agree, she seemed to think it was a jolly jape at the time. Probably going for com-pen-say-shun.

  251. 251
    Freddie's Starred says:

    Why is it only scumbags and perverts go to Max Clifford? If you get Max to be your PR guy to defend you against allegations, you might as well just shout from a rooftop “I’M GUILTY!!!”

  252. 252
    Expat Geordie says:

    Bloody hell Cat don’t do that to people, or at least give us some warning.

    That has got to be one of the funniest things that I have seen in months.

  253. 253
    The Ed Miller band. says:

    Rattled are you,pisshead?

  254. 254

    The penny doesn’t drop the first time you watch it until the end.

    Very cleverly planned, filmed and executed. From Austria.

  255. 255
  256. 256
    Bogeyman says:

    Instead of wittering on about Osborne and his fukin train ticket – a totally inconsequential matter – why doesn’t Guido concentrate on THIS stuff?

    £55,000 to install a lollipop lady (er… person) outside a primary school? That’s where our big money is going – jobsworths inflating the cost of everything tenfold.

    It is happening on every street, in every school and hospital, town hall and public urinal into which our money is pissed.

  257. 257
    Blowing Whistles says:

    At exactly 00:09 on 14th March 2009 an email entered the then Labour governments “high-security Downing street email system”.

    Damian McBride – Gordon Browns ‘fixer’ at the time intercepted said email and thereafter breached (he did not have the legal authority to do so) the UK’s Data Protection Act.

    McBride proceeded with the information sent in the email to unlawfully ascertain the many private details of the sender of the email.

    Thereafter followed a course of actions which to date the ptb appear to think that they have ‘covered up’ – but they have not covered it up.

  258. 258
    Sounds the type says:

    Funny how my comment , timed at 9:13 was subsequently bested by a comment at 9:29 . Oh fuck yes. How many more clues do you c unts need that this site is full of bigoted anti scottish pro EUSSR sockpuppets. ?

  259. 259
    Expat Geordie says:

    Safety audit: £2,000
    Recruitment costs: £3,000
    Salary, including National Insurance and pensions: £3,800
    Management costs: £2,692
    Uniform: £150
    Training: £200
    Expenses: £500
    Infrastructure (a crossing): £15,000
    Redundancy costs: £4,500
    Decommissioning infrastructure: £15,000
    Total: £55,184

    Funny, when I was a kid the lollypop lady had to control two “crossings” as my school was on a T-junction. She had her hat, white coat and lollypop. The “crossing” was wherever she planted her lollypop.

    I know that this is Essex council, which is nominally Tory, but it the same Labour/union numpties who really run all councils who are responsible for this sort of crap.

  260. 260
    Bogeyman says:

    Fascinating, isn’t it? Apart from the questionable need for all this shit, I’m puzzled why the cost of each item is so high.

    Safety audit: Brian from Highways goes down for the morning to look at the layout and write a report. Why £2,000? How much does he earn?

    Recruitment costs: £3k for a lollipop lady? Where do they advertise it – in the Guardian?

    Management costs: £2,692. I know coffee has gone up but…

    Expenses £500. What expenses?

    Redundancy cost £4,500. Who / what is being made redundant?

    Decommissioning infrastructure £15,000. But they’ve just charged £15k for infrastructure. Are they immediately going to decommission it?

    Even training at £200 seems excessive. What training is needed to see kids across the road that would cost £200? I’ve attended whole day courses for less.

    The whole thing is bollox.

  261. 261
    Blowing Whistles says:

    What’s hebrew for fuck you? – It could be truthh me, truthh me.

  262. 262
    smoggie says:

    Rumours are rife about who the other celebrities involved in the Jimmy Saville investigation are.

    My money is on mungo and midge.

  263. 263
    Blowing Whistles says:

    6 foot under.

  264. 264
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Have you read “Dunblane Unburied” by Sandra Uttley?

  265. 265
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Are you privvy to the Lord Cullen report – ‘embargoed’ from the public for 100 years?

  266. 266
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Max headroom air head don’t give a stuff about the truth – FFS he’s a ‘publicist’.

    And ye can stick the advert for your next conference in Jerusalem where the ‘sun’ [rupee] doesn’t ‘shine’ [lizabeth]

    Lets be ‘avin the writs Arthur Siskind – you duplicitous american Hunt.

  267. 267
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Night night – let’s see how the sunday [Preferred] dead tree press spin it for the 648 most guilty puppet hunts in Poorliament tomorrow ….

  268. 268
    Deaf David says:


  269. 269
    Kat A. Falk says:

    Fuck this. Let’s go have a bier, Pall’s round.

  270. 270
    Danny Zucco says:

    I am NOT a “finocchio,” whatever you might think– Sandy’s a GIRL! Really!

  271. 271
    A taxpayer says:

    The whole thing is fraud.

  272. 272
    blub says:

    He’s not talking about Morrison. He’s talking about someone who’s still mates with a lot of the Notting Hill set.

  273. 273
    blub says:

    oh and child-pron getting smuggled in diplomatic bags (allegedly).

  274. 274

    They are now saying Savile practised sadism, necrophilia and bestiality. I think that’s flogging a dead horse!

  275. 275
    Anonymous says:

    the scale of child abuse commeth, into the fore.
    in secret. in shame. in society.

  276. 276
    Anonymous says:

    imagine living on charity.
    no one buys our royalty.
    or do they.

  277. 277
    Anonymous says:

    watson fingers winners.
    winners are kiddie fiddlers.
    watson is fat, but then women in the UK are the 2nd fattest in Europe.
    winners are thin. but then they are kiddie fiddlers.

  278. 278
    Anonymous says:

    if yu move, the lizard gets you.
    it hardly moves. it has a long tongue.
    be.ware of the lizard.
    it wants your soul.

  279. 279
    Anonymous says:

    is the truth always always hidden in plain site or even plain sight?
    meditate to avoid mind feck. The body is protected. listen to its wisdom, for it commeth from the evolutionary wisdom of the human race.

  280. 280
    Anonymous says:

    when the survival of the on.benefits royalty as an institution is threatened, see how fast we get to see our secret elite….the enablers.
    tax free wealth creation. that.

  281. 281
    Anonymous says:

    the scale and when needed the speed of lies. cannot trap a fox. when you trap you become attached to the life of a hunter. you trap as you are trapped. detach and release. v. tantric.

  282. 282
    smoggie says:

    I’m so sick and tired of being disturbed every year by pesky trick or treaters, that I’ve bought a scary costume to answer the door in..

    Silver wig
    Shell suit
    Some Bling jewellery

    Yep – That should scare the fuckers away…………

  283. 283
    Blowing Whistles says:

    I’m so sick and tired of being disturbed every year by pesky trick or treaters, that I’ve bought a scary costume to answer the door in..

    Silver wig
    Shell suit
    Some Bling jewellery

    Yep – That should scare the fuckers away…………

  284. 284
    blub says:

    If the PBC ends up going through loads of director-generals maybe eventually they’ll get one who’ll make the news admit global warming stopped 16 years ago. As the political class have signed us up to have the most expensive energy costs in the world – effectively dooming the British economy unless it’s changed – it’s quite important.

  285. 285
    Have you seen the price of yoghurt lately ? says:

    It’s not like they’re all selling products that roll off the same production line, is it ? The packaging’s different, after all.

  286. 286
    Bogeyman says:

    An army friend of mine was in pieces last week during his tour of Afghanistan.

    He’d stood on a landmine.

  287. 287
    Penny Red says:

    The change in public opinion that the blues should most fear: The return of the “Toxic Tories”

  288. 288
    Gary Glitter says:

    D’ye wanna be in my gang?

  289. 289
    Anonymous says:


    A blonde calls American Airlines and asks, “Can you tell me how long it’ll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?”

    The agent replies, “Just a minute…”

    “Thank you,” the blonde says, and hangs up.

  290. 290
    Anonymous says:

    Former director general of the BBC Mark Thompson was alerted on at least two occasions of claims Jimmy Savile had abused children, reports The Sunday Times.

    In a YouGov poll, 48% said they believe Thompson, who denies being informed of the allegations, has not been honest about the saga.

    BBC Trust chairman Lord Patten says the corporation “risks squandering public trust”. (This Week)
    Thompson knew as he is not the dozy type.
    The scale has tipped in favour of those who potentially do not believe the anything.but.dozy Thomp.son. is Patten ready to resign as Beeb is not trusted? Patten has wrapped himself in “Trustme I am ChrisPatten” colours.

  291. 291
    Penny Red says:

    Police have questioned Gary Glitter while investigating allegations of abuse by Jimmy Savile.

    Dear God, was no one safe.

  292. 292
    Bogeyman says:

    Me and the wife have been invited to a Halloween fancy dress party on Wednesday, at Salford’s biggest old peoples home.

    I’m going as Harold Shipman …

  293. 293
    True Velo says:

    That must be a Catso!

  294. 294
    D.S. Guido Fawkes says:

    VIDEO: Gary Glitter leaves his London home after arrest: http://itv.co/PzDPyQ

  295. 295
    Penny Red says:

    Gary Glitter arrested on more paedo charges And in other news Xmas is on the 25th December this year

  296. 296
    George Gideon Oliver Osborne says:

    I have no Plan B for the UK economy.

    Your comment is awaiting moderation. ( And how you twat!!)

  297. 297
  298. 298
    smoggie says:

    the then Labour governments “high-security Downing street email system”

    i.e. LabourHighSecuritySmear@hotmail.com

  299. 299
    Freddie's Starred says:

    So when are the police going to make the arrests of the dozen household names they announced a couple of days ago was imminent? I’ve got my popcorn all ready and waiting.

  300. 300
    Gordon Brown says:

    It’s thanks to me we all had an extra hour’s sleep.

  301. 301
    Just wondrin says:

    Where was Jimmy Savile the day Jill Dandow was murdered?

  302. 302
    Alan Fluff Freeman says:

    Hello tot pickers!

  303. 303
    Fruitbat says:

    He does go on a bit.

  304. 304
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    Guido should change the “Saturday Seven Up” thread title to

    “Saturday Sunday Seven Up Followed by a Monday Masterpiece by Rich & Mark”.

  305. 305
    As it 'appens says:

    He was meeting the Lizards to receive his latest instructions.

  306. 306
    Fruitbat says:

    The Clangers! Round the lot of them up!!

    That poor, poor Soup Dragon.

  307. 307
    KebabTime and a half says:

    I hope you lot didn’t forget to put your cocks back last night.

  308. 308
    KebabTime and a half says:

    And while we’re at it, what did he do with Shergar?

  309. 309
    Anonymous says:

    They’re entitled to the weekend off too ffs.

  310. 310
    Jonathan King says:

    I’m next !!!!

    I know nothing.

  311. 311
  312. 312
    Freddie Starr says:

    I forgot to pull my cock back.

  313. 313
    Gary's Glittered says:

    I’m innocent. I thought she was 12….oops wrong country.

  314. 314
    Anonymous says:

    are we ruled by incompetent duffers.
    brainwashing though as excellent.
    big head or small head? we have certainly worshipped the former.

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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

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