October 18th, 2012

The Forgetful Fat Cat

As the TUC prepare to go on another pointless walk this weekend, Guido couldn’t help but chuckle when he read the London Loves Business interview with union boss Bill Hayes this evening. It turns out the £97,000-a-year fat cat is paid so much he has lost count:

“It’s not £97,000. Off the top of my head, I’d have to look it up. I don’t think [it’s more]. Without looking at my payslip, I don’t know, I don’t know – but it’s good pay.”

Union bosses are so rich they don’t know how much they earn. Guido wonders how many of those paying him through their subs can say the same?


  1. 1
    Union Jack says:

    Up the Workers!

  2. 2
    Thought for the day says:

    Mark Serwotka is known as a strawberry.
    Red on the outside but red on the inside.

  3. 3
    Anonymous says:

    And not a squishy red fruit?

  4. 4
    Kebab Time says:

    “All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal then others”

  5. 5
    Meatspin made me dizzy says:

    I’m not having it up me.

  6. 6
    Trahison des Clercs says:

    Its Stratford Johns revived.

  7. 7
    Bill D'Sarse says:

    You spelled ‘cat’ incorrectly. It’s four letters and contains the letter ‘n’.

  8. 8
    Eeyore says:

    You sure that’s Bill Hayes? Looks like Dawn French in a fat-suit to me.

  9. 9
  10. 10
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Oh, what’s a few tens of thousands of pounds among friends, anyway? But what really gets me is that part about “Well, the salary was fixed before I got in.” Well, how about you show a good example to other CEO’s, on the management side as well, and say, “It won’t do for someone like me to be making so much more than the average Joe Punchclock,” and take a pay cut? Won’t the Guardian types love you and think you’re pe*achy-keen? Sure, that could happen– I’ll expect it just as soon as I see a pig sprout wings (nothing personal, old man!).

  11. 11
    Bernie Madoff says:

    That is one pig I’d like to see on a spit!!!

  12. 12
    cun*ts r us says:

    Perhaps he gets paid in pies

  13. 13
    Anonymous says:

    poor guido is losing touch with normal people…

    people like unions!

  14. 14
    Polly Toohey says:

    The Guardian types certainly won’t love you if you accept less money!

    That’s for the little people to do. How are we to establish calm spaces for progressive thought, which happen to be Villas in Tuscany, if enlightened minds are constantly taking on unnecessary burdens?

    Do you ever see the Ant Queen carrying leaves? No? Exactly.

    Must go. I’m meeting Alan to inform him I will be most disappointed if one of my print outlets is closed down for a reason as vulgar as money.

  15. 15
    ToonBert... says:

    They, the Union fat cats, remind me of the classic film Deliverance and “squeal like a pig” clip.

  16. 16
    ToonBert... says:

    errrrr no they do not !! Tit heed !!

  17. 17
    ToonBert... says:

    A classic….. happy memories, especially working with guys from the ‘dark side’.

  18. 18
    ToonBert... says:

    “Right up ‘em” as Jimmy used to say !!

  19. 19
    smoggie says:

    He is a fucking liar. We all know, to the penny, what we earn and what we are due.

    PS why is he so fat?

  20. 20
    keredybretsa says:

    Now that is really so rich some members might spew up. MORE more!!!

  21. 21
    ToonBert... says:

    Pies ?? Not the slimline ones from the ‘boro !!

  22. 22




    The numbers in each line add up to 45

  23. 23
    nellnewman says:

    Have to feel sorry for poor old postal workers having to pay subs to produce that man’s triple chin etc. He obviously lives well off their hard earned income.

  24. 24
    curtons says:

    But it is a good pie (Mighty Boosh).

  25. 25
    nellnewman says:

    Suspect he a lunching pal of that other great champagne socialist bobcrow. It’s how they occupy their time after they’ve sent their members out to picket lines and strike.

  26. 26
    ToonBert... says:

    The original….. wowowowowow

  27. 27
    ToonBert... says:

  28. 28
    curtons says:

    Subscribing to the fat of the land.

  29. 29
    Albert hall says:


  30. 30
    What do you expect honesty from a politician. says:

    Like Liebour they forgot they were created to help people, not to help the people running them.

  31. 31
    V1le Labour ruined my Country says:

    Is this character morbidly obese like his paycheck?

  32. 32
    Syrenety says:

    I always grimace when African statesmen appear on telly, they are always so much fatter than their public. Looks like the same happens here too.

  33. 33
    nellnewman says:

    Union members have been declining steadily since 1979. Less than a quarter of young people are interested in joining a union and no more than a third of of 30 to 50 year olds belong to one either. Most of them have no interest in striking much to the annoyance of union fatcats like serwokta and crow.

    More importantly only 13% of employees in the private sector belong to a union. The majority are in public services which gordon once thought would win him that 2010 election. It didn’t.

  34. 34

    A Labour government could consider forcing savers to invest in pensions


    After all, you can’t have people deciding for themselves, can you?

  35. 35
    ToonBert... says:

    I have to accept the evidence of obesity and being morbid are certainly shout out from that pic !!

  36. 36
    it were that fat bastard says:

    At last we know the answer to the question “who ate all the pies?”

  37. 37
    Dai hard says:

    Mine’s a sheep called Molly.

  38. 38
    Anonymous says:

    £97,000 for fat cat? For £97,000 he will not even pay the highest rate of tax or get a tax deduction. Fat cats used to make few millions a year!

  39. 39
    Gordon, Melvin & Dave raped me pension says:

    Pensions are pointless – by the time QE has finished, you’ll need £1 million to buy a £10k annuity.

  40. 40

    He should not breed but send his wife to Famedaddy:

  41. 41
    I want to know says:

    Who are the four MPs who are renting out their taxpayer-funded properties to other MPs?

  42. 42
    2nd helpings says:

    He doesn’t of his pay in terms pounds – he thinks of it in terms of pies!

  43. 43
    Anonymous says:

    On that definition a fat cat is a very rare animal. According to the Labour party there are about 8000 people in the UK earning £1m+ per annum. “Few” suggests £3m+ of which there are probably less than 1000.

  44. 44
    What do you expect honesty from a politician. says:

    You mean just like Liebours brilliant chancellor/PM “invested” the £100billion from private pensions,

  45. 45
    Anonymous says:

    Those union bosses are labor aristocracies. In another word idiots.

  46. 46
    Blowing Whistles says:

    And Roger Lyons certainly and always put his pie eating down to expenses [public domain] – but then who was Roger kidding for all of his years at the head of his now sub sumed union…?

  47. 47
    Not long for this life says:

    I have a feeling that Bill not be on the walk. Unless they have a wheel chair, nurse and oxygen at hand.

  48. 48
    Sweeney Todd says:

    But did he eat my pies if not he could make plenty of pies

  49. 49
    Spot says:

    Good interview just now on Sky with Nigel Lawson talking about the 87 market collapse.

    Nigel had the sense to cut interest rates to prevent problems later that year, unlike G Brown who didnt have the sense to raise interest rates in 2004 to help prevent the current probs.

  50. 50
    larry the cat says:

    To call this human a cat is an insult to all felines.

  51. 51
    Flab Watch says:

    Pickles more like

  52. 52
    And the people says:

    Oh no we don’t!

  53. 53
    Flab Watch says:

    Fa-fuck-sake we would be knee deep in bloody dripping

  54. 54
    Flab Watch says:

    Cos he is a Pig

  55. 55
    Socialism is a severe mental illness says:

    It’s this guy, but with hair.

  56. 56
    Blowing Whistles says:

    I disagree – at first sight me thought it was Digby ‘Fat Lardy boy’ Jones former head of the CBI < The 'front company' / federation / like the BBA run by Angela Knight [Libor infamy] – who 'were the union-style front spokespersons for talking up of the banks.

    Why were and currently still are the CBI competing with the British Chambers of Commerce (BCC) < its former head being one David Frost? Are they basically not unlike unions in how they get funded too?

  57. 57
    Emmanuelle says:

    I’ve been in some teenage boy’s dreams

  58. 58
    Ed Ballsup says:

    The current ‘probs’ are entirely the fault of the Thatcher government, 1979-present day.

  59. 59
    anonymous says:

    ah yes, workers in the uk shouldn’t have any rights and shouldn’t be paid for their labour – it’s only the rich who are entitled to wealth … fucking hypocrites

    still, has anyone been gaoled for mis-selling PPI?

  60. 60
    Blowing Whistles says:

    How about a ‘u’ and an ‘e’ – to hold back the tide???

  61. 61
    Spode says:

    He’s eaten John Prescott!

  62. 62
    Flab Watch says:

    And the flab between his ears.

  63. 63
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Sorry – ‘spitting [at] image’ of Digby Jones. The Labour Goevernment’ in its dying days promoted to a Lard….Tsar.

  64. 64
    Blowing Whistles says:

    You despicable anti-semite. Have you paid back everyone you stole from of all religions or just a few?

  65. 65
    Spode says:

    Yes, but why?

    Bother, I mean.

  66. 66
    Socialism is a severe mental illness says:

    I was going to say, being one of those whose personal pension was ripped to shreds by McMental.

    When I took out a pension, I was told “it’s safe, no one can get their hands on it.” But that was in 1992, when we hadn’t experienced Gordon “pension raider” Brown, who regarded personal pensions as his own personal piggy banks, to be raided at will, the proceeds to be sprayed over feckless chav scum and civil service non-job filth.

    1992 to 2002, I paid £500 per month into a pension. In 2002, I stopped. I would regard pensions as a terrible investment, solely for the reason that a future Labour government might have a chancellor as insane and evil as Brown was (Balls, for example), who’ll raid them.

  67. 67
    Spode says:

    Bob Mugabe is skinny. So was Emperor Bokassa, despite having a fondness for long pig.

  68. 68
    AgitatorsRus says:

    Silly boy. Engage brain before making comment.

    There is absolutely no need for Trades Unions these days as far as employment law goes. They are political dinosaurs of a past age.

  69. 69
    Anonymous says:

    And lest we forget the Pilgrims.

  70. 70
    The Golem says:

    Good stuff. Thanks for this.

  71. 71
    Blowing Whistles says:

    So we’re 45 mins from WMD’s then… I wouldn’t want to mention that KKK =’s 33 again. Its a conspiracy SC. And 911 added= 11 an element of KKK …. oh I really should stop it’s just a conspiracy. It’s still odd though that so many numbers just coincidentially add up.

  72. 72
    Call me Dave says:

    I should have shut the fuck up yesterday. Watt!

  73. 73
    Joss Askin says:

    Is Digby a friend of Dorothy?

  74. 74
    Socialism is a severe mental illness says:

    I got mis-sold PPI in 2003.

    Could you tell me, out of interest, which Party was in government at that time?

    And did the CEO of the bank that mis-sold me the PPI – a Mr Fred Goodwin (a) go to ‘gaol’ or (b) get a knighthood from Labour?

  75. 75
    Socialism is a severe mental illness says:

    I got mis-sold PPI in 2003.

    Could you tell me, out of interest, which Party was in government at that time?

    And did the head of the bank that mis-sold me the PPI – a Mr Fred Goodwin (a) go to ‘gaol’ or (b) get a knighthood from Labour?

  76. 76
    Bill D'Sarse says:

    Pronounced just like that if you are from saaaarff Laaaahndan.

  77. 77
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Excuse moi but – If you knew how ‘craven’ the ABI & NAPF were to the corporates ; you’d think twice. NAPF – Christine Varnish(ed) off after years of cravenness to become ….. an executive at Barclays. Reward for subservience / cravenness. Ho hum.

  78. 78
    The Golem says:

    Could be an example from the Trachtenberg Speed System of Basic Mathematics, I suppose, but I agree, it seems to be just two sequences of numbers.

  79. 79
    Lard Pressclott - Laughing Policeman in waiting says:

    97,000 pounds ??? He’s a bit of a lightweight in every sense.

    I used to weigh that and ‘earn’ that in 1997.

  80. 80
    Lard Pressclott - Laughing Policeman in waiting says:

    Nah, Tracey used to do that.

  81. 81
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Interesting article in the Indy about that today – Oh hell I’ll have a guess [a guess mind] Zac Goldsmith?

  82. 82

    He’s a weak sort.

  83. 83
    Bunhoppa says:

    I bet the fat bastard knows his way around Morrisons savoury pastries

  84. 84
    Anonymous says:

    I work for BT/Openreach. I am a member of the CWU. I also know Billy Hayes is a lazy fat fuckwit.

  85. 85
    Jane Pig Grim says:


  86. 86
    Blowing Whistles says:

    And C
    Doesn’t he get a hefty “Pension” via RBS – which is ringfenced before the public get their money – seeing as the ‘Public’ [not] own the bank?

    RBS is owned by the Government – there’s a gulf of difference as to what the ‘public own – but are ‘told’ / ‘rallied’ / ‘duped into thinking’ that they own.

  87. 87
    I don't need no doctor says:

    He’s got more chins than a chinese telephone directory.
    Tom Watson has a rival.
    Who ate all the pies?

  88. 88
    Spot says:

    It was fatches fault for the start of the coal mine closures in the 60s Mr Wilson told not to. Then the nice Mr Heath invented the common market.

  89. 89
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Think about this one – a little deeper – Aren’t they all living off of the ‘fat of the land’?

  90. 90
    Anonymous says:

    With his salary more like fucking Waitrose

  91. 91
    The Libor party says:

    We were too busy invading Iraq in order to defuse all those Weapons of Mass Destruction in 2003 to give a fuck about the likes of you.

  92. 92
    Anonymous says:

    The world we live is not fair even in communist nations. You should know by now.

  93. 93
    Anonymous says:

    Around 368,000 people earn over £150,000.

  94. 94
    Socialism is a severe mental illness says:

    £703,000 every year. Who says crime doesn’t pay. Still, at least the knighthood Labour gave him was annulled.

  95. 95
    Socialism is a severe mental illness says:

    £703,000 every year. Who says crime doesn’t pay? Still, at least the knighthood Labour gave him was annulled.

  96. 96
    retardEd Miliband says:

    North Korea is a thothialitht paradithe.

  97. 97
    Anonymous says:

    His total package is £133,000, including a car.
    He should ditch the car and get on his bike, like the workers he’s supposed to represent.

  98. 98
    Gordon Brown says:

    I always used the Tractorstats system to divide and rule.

  99. 99
    I hate supermarkets says:

    Now now. Waitrose match the prices you’d find in Tesco (that is, if you were desperate enough to shop in Tesco).

    Which means all the horrific overpricing you’d find in Tesco is also found in Waitrose.

    But, as an added bonus, Waitrose (in an act of total insanity) have little metal trolleys for children, which means you get your shins whacked as a ‘reward’ for shopping there.

  100. 100
    UKIP.i.am says:

    It was the greedy unions fault for making the coal uncompetitive to dig up. Though I have long since given up explaining to thick lefties what the word competition means.

  101. 101
    nellnewman says:

    “EU luvvies v quiet since we discovered Head of Nobel Committee is also President of Council of Europe – They awarded it to themselves!”

    Sorry can’t publish the actual twitter . David Colbran or someone. I’ll work out how to do it one of these days.

    Just published on Twitter. More self-serving, troughing, politicians blowing their own trumpet!!!

  102. 102
    Gordon Brown says:

    Well naturally he keeps it just under 100k as he wouldnt want to pay all that 60% he’d have to if he was over the 100k threshold would he…

  103. 103
    nellnewman says:

    Aldi and Asda have best food prices at the Mo. You just need to shop around!

  104. 104
    Anonymous says:

    A lot of public sector workers are in unions purely for support if they should get sued by patients or parents.I know it sounds bad, but thats the reality. I would never go on strike, and hate the political side.

  105. 105
    nellnewman says:

    hmmm does he have a £million plus house like militwit ? If he does – like militwit he’ll be advocating a tax on £2million houses .

  106. 106
    A pointless and unwinnable battle which the majority of the public don't support anyway says:

    He follows in a long line of union leaders such as Scargill who led his members in a unwinnable class struggle….it wasn’t Thatcher that destroyed the UK Mining Industry it was Scargill.

    Serwotka is bent on the same path……the fact is that the public sector in this country is too big and unaffordable….despite PCS claims the majority of workers are paid well in comparion to the private sector and even after the pay freeze and reform of their pensions will still be some of the best paid and most secure workers in the UK.

    Their days of action and marches will lead……precisely NOWHERE and change NOTHING

  107. 107
    Anonymous says:

    University professor in Pyongyang gets $0.80 per month. Isn’t it too bad?

  108. 108
    HenryV says:

    Fame Daddy in German is Ruhm Vater. A bit snappier than Eugenetik. Um actually that doesn’t sound to bad. Vorsprung durch Eugentik! Yes I like it.

    All we need now is an easily recognisable logo…….

  109. 109
    ABC says:

    Use a normal browser such as ie then click on the tweet, click details and post the address that you get in your comment. It’s real easy.

  110. 110
    Lou Scannon says:

    The numbers in each MP’s expense claim should add up to P45.

  111. 111
    Chuka Urmunneyaround says:

  112. 112
    Gonk says:

    He also gets a megaphone

  113. 113
    His Lardship John Prescott says:

    Don’t look at me, I was too busy with sandwiches and fried chicken!

  114. 114
    NE Frontiersman says:

    As the ‘Eye’ says today: “Could that be the same T Jagland who is also Secretary-General of the desperately cash-strapped Council of Europe – not in itself an EU institution, but currently pleading for additional EU funds to cope with the growing costs of the European Court of Human Rights? Yes, it could.”

  115. 115
    ABC says:

    The above was for your Tweet problem Nell. Guido’s app is shite.

  116. 116
    Fat Tax says:

    Looking at Billy Bunter’s multiple chins one can’t help thinking that Osborne’s pie tax may have solved the deficit.

  117. 117
    Fat Tax (the unmod version) says:

    Looking at B1lly Bunter’s multiple chins one can’t help thinking that Osborne’s pie tax may have solved the deficit.

  118. 118
    Red Robbo and Arthur Scargill says:

    Do you really believe that Chuka?

  119. 119
    Wally Watch says:

    You have just signed your political death warrant Chuka.

  120. 120
    Saffron says:

    Unions years ago were set up to provide a united voice aimed at protecting workers against profit mad power hungry assholes.
    Now what do we see today,well we see profit mad unions instead of their fee cilents living it up grand style.
    Bob Crow and Serwotka and others are typicall of this.
    When Oh when are the people of this country going to wake up as to what these barstewards are are all about?.

  121. 121

    Come on you lot. I’ve been getting an attack of the M0ds and so I did something mostly numbers. Look carefully and you will see that each number consists of one each of all the positive integers between 1 and 9. The first line has the numbers descending, the second ascending and the difference is all mixed up but each integer still only appears once. I learned that at age six and have always been fascinated by it.

    Good for the Golem for mentioning Trachtenberg.

  122. 122
    Bert Troutman says:

    On Eds (glorious leader in fine raiment) Q and A session at the labour conference a woman stood up introduced herself as the woman officer for some London council, she asked a question, then another woman officer stood up and introduced herself.  I dunno what they said cause all I could think of is what the fuck is a woman officer. 

  123. 123

    Just adjusting my moniker back. Ah! That’s better.

  124. 124
    I don't need no doctor says:

    That’s why they have a salary under £100k but their pension contributions are higher.

  125. 125
    Tom Watson says:

    Guido’s twitter account has been suspended. I’ve got this warm fuzzy feeling inside.

  126. 126
    Saffron says:

    The unions today are a total and irresponsible bunch of only in it for the pay chancers.
    Whatever you guys say you, you can absoluterly,feck off.

  127. 127
    Call me Dave says:

    Party anyone? Guido’s been banned! Praise the lord, hallelujah! One less scum bag on Twitter

  128. 128
    will says:

    In the 2000 General Secretary election, Serwotka pledged that if elected he would only accept the equivalent of an average civil servant’s wage. In 2011, his total package was worth £126,258 including pension contributions of £27,860.

    It is riven by infighting and since the mergers this has got worse., Also with its membership in decline I suspect that if it had to pay its pilgrims then it would be in the shit.

    The problem is that it has moved away from its core rational and is now not about helping its members but about keeping its union reps in jobs

  129. 129
    Spot says:

    Fatchas fault for inventing the diesel engine which was then fitted in trains so they didnt need coal anymore

  130. 130
    Lou Scannon says:

    You’re OK – definitely no traces of the hair of the dog.

  131. 131
    I don't need no doctor says:

    The members that pay subs must be completely stupid. The union bosses look after themselves, not the workers. Do union bosses lose a day’s pay when the workers go out on strike, do they bollocks.
    The workers should just get themselves a good lawyer and do away with leeches like Serwotka and Crow.

  132. 132
    Universal Hiss says:

    Dear God.He’s thicker than I thought.I would like to see the maths behind that little gem.

  133. 133
    Spot says:

    Lords of the realm don’t put elbows on the table, do you not have any breeding Prescott.

  134. 134
    JH says:

    Don’t feel bad; most people join actually unions for the insurance cover alone. Paying money towards something and expecting a return of benefit to you is not a shameful thing, y’know.

    The risible turn out at strike ballots shows how de-politicised most union members are. It probably sickens them that such actions are so partisan.

  135. 135
    Lou Scannon says:

    If your in-box is anything like mine then you’re being bombarded with offers to reclaim your PPI payments. Now who do you suppose is behind that ? Could it possibly be the banks themselves ? After all, these people sure as hell ain’t doing it for nothing and there’s no way you’re going to get everything back.
    I reckon at the end of the day anyone who took out PPI is well down on the deal and the banks are still well ahead. Did no-one else bother to read the small print ?

  136. 136
    Universal Hiss says:

    I’ll pop the old one in the wash. It’s filthy.

  137. 137
    JH says:

    Are they long or short integers?

  138. 138

    You have to live with some trials in life. Why some people deliberately make more, fuck alone knows.

  139. 139

    I Can’t remember it, actually…

  140. 140

    This was a brilliant hoax, though.

    We knew they were stupid at the BBC but ITV as well…

  141. 141
    MC Chukky says:

    Well, they are certainly Wealth Creators for the Labour Party. We’d be fucking bankrupt without them. Thank you ‘Union Modernerisation Fund’, oink oink!

    Whatever. I’ll claim unions are Unicorn Horn Creators if they tell me to.

    Like my suit? And see that Luciana’s Burger? I’m tapping that.

  142. 142
  143. 143
    Marion the cat says:

    With £703 K who gives a toss about the knighthood ?

  144. 144
    Pointless Blog +++ALERT+++ says says:

    Fuck that. Dig this:

  145. 145

    When I used to go to the doctor or dentist in the early 60s, there was usually a copy of the Reader’s Digest and I would notice the adverts claiming £286 when you retire. It could buy a house! Then we had the inflation of the late 60s which got worse right into the 80s that sum, which had looked like a fortune, suddenly could not even buy a car. Now, you could spend it in a night if you went to the wrong restaurant.

    My approach to pensions was instructed by that experience. Given the quantity of QE with no hope of generating enough to pay it down, I see the same thing happening again in the next few decades.

  146. 146
    Lou Scannon says:

    I got a maths book out of the junior section of the library many years ago which taught me a few useful tricks that I still use occasionally. Maybe Trachtenberg had something to do with it, although I don’t recall the name. I wonder if you can still find such a book in today’s public libraries ?

  147. 147
    Fish says:

    ‘….despite PCS claims the majority of workers are paid well in comparion to the private sector and even after the pay freeze and reform of their pensions will still be some of the best paid and most secure workers in the UK….’

    These are the DWP payscales.


  148. 148
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

    Maths ? Maths ?? There’s nothing logical or properly costed about our ideas. It’s all hype, smoke and mirors.

  149. 149

    When I first saw this it was less than two decades after Thomas J Watson did not say I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.

    However it was well before Harold Wilson did not say The pound in your pocket will not be devalued.


  150. 150
    Compare and Contrast says:

    ‘….despite PCS claims the majority of workers are paid well in comparion to the private sector and even after the pay freeze and reform of their pensions will still be some of the best paid and most secure workers in the UK…’

    Here are the DWP pay rates


  151. 151
    Lou Scannon says:

    It’ll all come to noughts.

  152. 152
    Universal Hiss says:

    Scargill is a man of the people too. Isn’t he taking the NUM to court as they don’t want to pay for his Barbican flat any more?

    Why didn’t he become an MP? Missed an even bigger troughing.

  153. 153

    The 11 trick is the best known. I had it at junior school but it got lost in my many moves and so I bought another a few years back in a second hand bookshop. It is good because it makes you look at numbers in another way which to some makes them seem more friendly.

  154. 154

    You have just given me a great idea.

    Why are politicians’ pensions not linked inversely to one of the prices indices?

  155. 155
    Red says says:

  156. 156
    Mark Serwotka says:

    I’m being paid by the BBC to appear on Question time tonight.

  157. 157
    Lou Scannon says:

    You are the Brat-Bothering Corporation and I claim my £145.50 back.

  158. 158
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Times front page will make some squirm at the BBC – leaked email shows Newsnight had been wanting to interview abuse victims.

    Mole hunt on the way?

  159. 159
    Call me cast iron says:

    That’s hinteresting, waaaat! How do they compare to Fortnums???

  160. 160
    Lou Scannon says:

    It would help if more such trials were directed at the Westminstafarians.

  161. 161
    Pointless Blog +++ALERT+++ says says:

    Could he not get the advertising revenue?

  162. 162
    Whistle Blower says:

    If Labour is so labour flexible why did he write this into his cleaner’s contract?

    The following reasons might lead to disciplinary measures:
    (1) Causing a disruptive influence in the household;
    (2) Job incompetence;
    (3) Unsatisfactory standard of dress or appearance \
    (4) Conduct during or outside working hours which is
    prejudicial to the interest or reputation of the employers;
    (5) Unreliability in time keeping or attendance;
    (6) Failure to comply with instructions or procedures;
    (7) Breach of confidentiality clause.


    This is the unredacted version, grab it while you can.

  163. 163
    Ed Miliband says:

    The other trick is, as the sum of the digits in all three numbers is a multiple of 9, they are all divisible by 9, and you discover if a number is a multiple of 9 by adding ITS digits together, as many times as you can, until you reach 9. (E.G., 4 + 5 = 9)

    The only other “maffs” thing I can recall offhand is something to do with the square of the hippopotamus…I’m really not good with numbers, actually; that’s why I don’t know whether I’m a millionaire or not. Well, that’s my story, anyway, and I’m going to stick to it, see?

  164. 164
    Bill Morrison says:

    You have to know the secret Aldi handshake. I doubt if they’d let the likes of you join.

  165. 165
    Nasty Browsing Habit says:

    Advertising revenue is for wimps, isn’t it Guido?

  166. 166
    Nasty Browsing Habit says:

    Boring. Fuck off and get a life. Thanks.

  167. 167
    Guido says:

    I’m a wimp.

  168. 168
    Sunlight is the best bleach. says:

    Mmm Labour do not like the truth exposed. Not surprising but quite sinister.

  169. 169
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Don’t know or get it JA – But he’s got lots of ‘Friends’ – the wrong sort if you ask me … but he’s a qualified lawyer – so what else could you expect – rhetorical jargon, waffle, duplicity, deception, weasel words etc?

  170. 170
    The Great Oracle says:

    I think Cam has got to drop his plod commisioner thingy before it turns out as a total joke even though we are at the final minute.

    When you get it wrong it is best to fess up and start again.

  171. 171
    Aunty Matter says:

    Fat c u n t

  172. 172
    I hate Parliament so much it hurts says:

    “The following reasons might lead to disciplinary measures:

    (5) Unreliability in time keeping or attendance;”

    You couldn’t make it up.

  173. 173
    Lard Pressclott - Laughing Policeman in waiting says:

    Fuck off ! This is the gravy train I’ve been waiting for.

  174. 174
    Gordon says:

    No Comment.

  175. 175
    Call me ‘Dave’ says:

    Tomorrow I wish to be known as

    Vapid Mendacious Conman, who is totally chillaxed and at home with €USSR apparatchiks.

    Thank you.

  176. 176
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Oh come on Ed – You damned well know what a “Trick” is or is it just for those chosen who do “Get” it stuff – geddit?

  177. 177
    Eric Joyce says:

    Conduct during or outside working hours which is
    prejudicial to the interest or reputation of the employers;

    I guess that excludes me then.

  178. 178
    At last! says:

    Explains why they’re so keen on the place where the sun never shines.

  179. 179
    Master Bation says:

    How come Olivia Cōle is top totty, skinny, elegant and a bit of all right whilst brother Hārry is such a fat cῡnt?

  180. 180
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Never mind QE – Robert Maxwell – set the standard for Pesnion thieving when he ‘thieved’ from the Mirror group pension funds [Most labour supporters still don’t GET it] – predominantly to fund his Casino gambling debts. Dohh Jimmy.

  181. 181
    Jacqui Smith says:

    Numbers 1, 2 and 4 are what did for me.

  182. 182
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

    Job incompetence‘ That’s me fucked then.

  183. 183
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Freddy is just one in a long line of deluded numbskulls who ‘could be relied upon to do as they were ‘instructed’ – and then they’d dance off into the sunlight. I wonder where Matthew Barrett Ex Irish-Canadian CEO of Braclays is these days … the Gaff prone prick that they “had to” pesnion off?

  184. 184
    Tony Blair says:

    Gordon failed on all seven of his clauses.

  185. 185
    nellnewman says:

    Not subscribing No! contributing to his champagne socialist lifestyle whilst they work hard and struggle. How very marxist! hobsbawn would approve!!

  186. 186
    The Bad Seed says:

    Some doctor in the States pulled this scam about twenty years ago. To women who didn’t have a steady man in their lives, or whose husbands were infertile, women for whom artificial insemination would be needed, he offered such a service– no prizes for guessing how he REALLY obtained the donor semen. (Google “Cecil Jacobson” and whilst you’re at it, Google-image him too.)

  187. 187
    Charles Clarke says:

    You and most of the Old Labour party Ed.

  188. 188
    Blowing Whistles says:

    I am sorry – BUT my spelling is not that bad. There’s some spelling gremlin around here who keeps interfeering.

  189. 189
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Fuck you lot – I get mine delivered from Harrods – every day.

  190. 190
    nellnewman says:

    How do they compare to fortnums? Don’t know you’d need to ask militwit’s wife or sarah brown – they’re regular customers of fortnums.

    But then they don’t have to worry about budgeting as all their bills are paid for by us taxpayers!!

  191. 191
    CUNTS says:

    Twenty Seven MPs are claiming taxpayer-funded expenses to rent homes in London while simultaneously letting property in the capital, The Daily Telegraph can disclose.


  192. 192
    nellnewman says:

    Interesting that prezza and savile both enjoyed exploiting free cruise ships !!

    Why did cruise companies give both of these idiots/troughers free holidays??!!

  193. 193
    Blowing Whistles says:

    So was Alan Johnson – But he fooled you lot of CWU socialist twats for decades. He’s alright jack now – you idiots.

  194. 194
    Lou Scannon says:

    I was always rather fascinated by the 142857 times table.

  195. 195
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Everyone on twitter and facebook are the lowest form of deluded – easily misled scum.

  196. 196
    Anonymous says:

    With that hair do’ I reckon he’s arse!! Obnoxious twat!!!

  197. 197
    nellnewman says:

    hmmm I think that’s the tip of the iceberg. It is being said that 100 plus mp’s are renting out taxpayer funded flats to other mp’s whilst they then claim expenses for renting another flat.

    I suspect the figure is even greater!!!

  198. 198
    Wulfred says:

    I blame the bloody Normans.

  199. 199
    Blowing Whistles says:

    You are Not to be confused with “Blowing Whistles” – by the sharper minds on this blog.

  200. 200
    nellnewman says:

    Let’s face it the political class is more corrupt than our criminal class!!!!

    You only have to think about bullyballs, twatson or chuckusyamoney to know that’s true.

  201. 201
    Little John says:

    It’s all coming back to me.

  202. 202
    Blowing Whistles says:

    When are the Telegraph going to expose the multitudes of Local Councillors / Executives (Local Government) CEO’s and other Executive Members – doing EXACTLY THE SAME thing on an even GRANDER scale throughtout the country?

    Plod meanwhile are too busy – nicking motorists and getting them onto £80 pound training courses Dohhh!!!…… Talk about Divide, Distract and rule …. JHFC.

  203. 203
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Aren’t you a long time friend and burying colleague of Kelvin MacKenzies – and where is he at present?

  204. 204
    The lost Blog says:

    And not to be confused with Blowing Whistles’ blog, which I am sure everyone proclaims it as a very fine blog.

    Where is it?

  205. 205
    Aunty Matter says:

    Looks like the Times have the first piece of dung shit to throw at the BBC. Is this the revenge of Murdoch?


  206. 206
    Thicko says:

    So we CAN confuse it with “Blowing Whistles” if we don’t have sharp minds?

  207. 207
    Marcus Japanicus says:

    Are you wee B1lly B0wden?

  208. 208
    Contrarian. says:

    Tesco launches the cheapest mortgage in Britain: Supermarket offers rate of 1.99% that could save borrowers up to £7,800


    A sure indicator that interest rates are about to rise.

  209. 209
    Confused of Westminster says:

    “The Tesco Bank deal is fixed for two years and requires a 40 per cent deposit and carries a fee of £995.”


    So I borrow 1000 off Tesco and they insist I give them 400 first but I have to pay them 995 for the privilege?

    Would it not be better to fund my new house on taxpayer expenses?

  210. 210
    Chuka says:

  211. 211

    It’s an accounting dodge. They take the £995 all into earnings on day one which accelerates their profit whilst the 40% deposit on a cautiously valued property (they commission the valuation), means they carry bugger all risk.

    The problem for anyone with cash now is where to put it where it will earn a good return and be safe. Euro uncertainty, huge government borrowings in the western world and overvalued property and stock markets make it a hard call.

  212. 212
    not a machine reloaded says:

    An interesting QT in Glasgee , as tales of long ago were ammended made over figures and a good bit of tub thumping with a bit to mull over if yer not from Scotland or feel timmourous on what is the best course to take when you strip out projections which have no real guarentees . i dont like the slight of hand of playing English rule chimes when really we are talking about UK and a union that has worked rather well in its maturity than its formation , and when one considers the actualities of future ecnomics , will still be do its prgmatic job , much better than independence , but that is my view and we now have 2 years in which any latent unpleasentness could manifest to the loss of the people . The quiet shuffling off of the praise Alec Salmond tub thumped about Ireland , Iceland seemed to wash off , like a seasonal squall , as though calling such ecnomic arguments so very wrong , was a bit of shrug and head scratch , that still did nae make up for the insult that the scottish people have had to endure (well at least the SNP version of it) .
    Tommy Sheridan on TW pimped the ride further “you southerners think of us as no more than savages” and were gonnae give yea a right shock up the hooter just to prove it , so we are …… The fact that if the scots got Tommy Sheridans ecnomic miracle would end in the same repeat bust as all scoialist projects have done , or that by having a far left supporting a left Nationalist party is a majic potion to enable independece , misleads the scots on so many aspects of how the union has worked for good , i mean how many scots would be liking the euro by now or by 2030 when the oil runs out .
    Still long way to go on a Island dispute , when the continental one across the channel is causing such fevered brows , still best not mention if Tony was right , whille Al Cambell is back trying to truss the crumbling edifice of all the spin , stressed with the spun ecnomic future assurances , that hasnt quite worked out as they said ……
    I wondered if Mark Serwatka had ever considered how many people have ended up on drugs , because of all the left bullshit that ended in debt and ecnomic loss , while he was feeling sorry for Scotlands continued drug troubles (not that everywhere else doesnt have them ) , funny that the party the unions threw all there money at ended up actually creating hardly any economy at all , that can support public services , they avoid taxes , reduce local ecnomic activity , yes all created by the Labour party , working away like mad on a destructive public sector spending spree , for the better tommorow that we wake up every day in , yet they want you to beleive it was someone else , some mysteroius force of debt just appearing like , rocking horses that crap gold coins , do. It is the economy created and run by Labour after all even though 2 years of coalition have been on the tiller .

    Dave and Nick are fighting for reduced EU budget contributions , Germany has just declared 2013 growth downward revise from 1.6% to 1% , so really any figure above 1% increase and they might as well revise whole EU growth figs down further , were just paying for lower growth …. where as cut EU budget and ….. oh well seem to have made that true ecnomic argument to many times on this blogg . Overpaid papershufflers are not growth , they are a money energy effectiveness , impact reduction device . one day perhaps someone from the hyak school will quantify what % of GDP should be spent on political offices , were probebely way past what is safe . I mean if everyother ecnomic things is streamlined , Just in time or superfast , how come the cost of politics is immune ??? or in the EUs case just keep increasing the cost ..

    Still not to worry , recent news ticker says EU has agreed banking supervison body …mmmm hold on to be gradually phased in (no german wobbles then) .mmmm gradually phased in , will that be country by county (with Germany last) or will it be banks with low balance sheets first (well your gonna need to stop competion in the socialist superstate) , smile at the photo session , follow the yellow brick road , follow follow follow , cough road to sefdom ?……….. News that a glowing troika report is on for Greece , that must be why those 40000 people were celebrating then , and the nobel award for peace , a right hottenanny ..

    The PMs energy price annoucment is interesting , might be more canny that labour dared to give credit for … wonder why that could be ..? :)
    Tim Montgomerie on hardtalk worth a look if you find this weeks conservative fortunes a bit poor , I strained my neck due to complusive nodding .

  213. 213
    not a machine reloaded says:

    Yeah but think of all the clubcard points ,, your up late Shrodinger sifting for best mortage deals , still hats off to guido if hes branching out into a finance advice services .

    I was wondering which of big 4 tech services sites would make an offer for my slogan which I came up with “your life is our business”

  214. 214
    not a machine reloaded says:

    So BBC peado problem is actually a conspiracy to divert police reources away from westminster criminals …. mmm interesting the fiendishly scoailists have escaped again …:)

  215. 215
    not a machine reloaded says:

    If he attends the photocall at the large sausage festivile , you will be correct .

  216. 216
    both Miliband brothers says:

    BBC Journalism ‏@BBCCollege Spelling tip: Hillary Clinton has as many Ls as Jimmy Savile and both Miliband brothers put together.

    So there are three Ls in Savile. I bet you won’t forget that.

  217. 217
    smoggie says:

    Pies or parmos, that is the dilemma faced by us good folk every satda.

  218. 218
    Maffs aint my best subject says:

    Pick a number: Multiply: 12345679 by the number you picked-multipled-by-9 and you will get a line of that number as the answer.

    EG pick the number 6; multiply by 9 = 54.

    Now mulitply 12345679 by 54 and see what you get. Works all the way through the numbers.

    There was a time I used to be able to prove algebraically that 2 =1 (an a-b etc factorisation job which technically involved dividing by 0) but I regret I have long forgotten it.

  219. 219
    UKIP.i.am says:

    B.N who? Personally I hate the BNP and Islam equally. Both full of thugs and bigotry. Though I agree that the B&B owners were badly done to.

  220. 220
    both Miliband brothers says:

    A working class hero is something to be
    do be do be do
    By giving you no time instead of it all…

    There’s room at the top they’re telling you still
    But first you must learn how to smile as you kill
    If you want to be like the folks on the hill

    A working class hero is something to be
    If you want to be a hero well just follow me

    You don’t know how you met me, you don’t know why
    You can’t turn around and say good-bye

  221. 221
    UKIP.i.am says:

    Oh I dunno. Maybe it has something to do with all those growing numbers of get-rich-quick, accident-chasing lawyers that have also forced up the price of car insurance so much.

  222. 222
    Bob Crow says:

    i aynt richh! I a harrd werkin mann ov da peopl. I dount haf monee lyke u lott doo! Upp da werkas!

  223. 223
    Gordon says:

    I can prove that pissing other people’s money up the wall = investment.

    I just need more time.

  224. 224
    Johann Hari says:

    Funny you mention union bosses. Today I’m having a world exclusive interview with Jimmy Hoffa. No one else has this interview. It’s all me. My exclusive. And tomorrow I’m interviewing Shergar.

  225. 225
    Now then now then says:

    An email in today’s papers indicates that bbc top brass were well aware of the allegations against Savile when they decided to pull the newsnight story. Personally, I’m loving this, watching the beeb go down in flames. It would be so ironic if cameron, so disliked by conservatives, ends up being the prime minister on whose watch the bbc’s licence fee is abolished.

  226. 226
    anonymous says:

    so neither the bbc nor sky are reporting anything about our MPs corrupt expenses activities – whilst dave is mouthing off about deregulating business as a means of him becoming even more wealthy whilst the uk workforce works for nothing – they are all bastards

  227. 227
    Gordon, Melvin & Dave raped me pension says:

    Cap’n Bob only fucked the mirror group, while Gordon’s £2 billion a year pension grab, happily being carried on still by Davey One-Term, and Melvin’s never-ceasing rounds of QE, are fucking everyone’s pension.

  228. 228
    JH says:

    (cough) Physical Silver in your possession (cough).

  229. 229
    anonymous says:

    who exactly is jeremy c’unt getting to assess doctors in his new regime? G4S or Atos maybe – they know nothing about medical matters??? – or is it yet aanother means of privatising our paid for health service – probably doen’t matter to the cretins here though does it?

  230. 230
    UKIP.i.am says:

    Don’t forget he eats babies for breakfast.

  231. 231
    UKIP.i.am says:

    Labour wasted billions of pounds of taxpayers money by getting GPS to do health MOTs that have since proven to be completely worthless. The NHS is a bloody disaster that needs throwing in the dead organ incinerator before it infects the country even more.

  232. 232
    What do you expect honesty from a politician. says:

    They’re just part of Liebour throwing out directives that won’t see the light of day due to the stupidity of the directives, no change then, LibLabCon the people to destroy the country, you get what you vote for.

  233. 233
    What do you expect honesty from a politician. says:

    One day you will grow up and realise voting for the LibLabCon will damage your health and pockets, it’s what they do best, send jobs abroad and steal your money out of your pockets, somebody has to pay for their excesses, you’ve have been chosen.

  234. 234
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    Any trained statistician can assess the medical profession.

  235. 235
    What do you expect honesty from a politician. says:

    I’am a bit happier today in the knowledge that the left want out of a partnership called Britain, the snake oil salesmen seems to have picked up influential “friends” to help him say goodbye, I wish him luck in this endevour of creating a beautiful land of La La and so long as I don’t have to pay for this new Scotland experiment then all the better, the LibLabCon have two years before they get wiped out and hopefully replaced by honest, decent politicians .

  236. 236
    Lou Scannon says:

    All you need is locking up.

  237. 237
    Lou Scannon says:

    How apposhite.

  238. 238
    Mandy the Floater says:

    Feel free.


    Buhahahaha !!!!!

  239. 239
    What do you expect honesty from a politician. says:

    13 years Chukky, 13 years to change this and what did you or your Liebour friends do fckall , complaining about something that you and your mates could have done something about shows how concerned you are.

  240. 240
    Jo Moore says:

    Told you.

  241. 241
    Bam Stroker says:

    Keeps the werewolves at bay as well.

  242. 242
    soapy says:

    ….as, presumably, are the “expenses” and other misc freebies.

  243. 243
    Nogbad the Bad says:

    That’s not you is it Polly, you never “meet” people, you only ever “meet with”. Remember, if it’s not pompous, it’s not Polly.

  244. 244
    Nogbad the Bad says:

    It’s the Lion from The Wizard of Oz.

  245. 245
    the furry fish says:

    So is the intention to move the naval bases to England ?

  246. 246
    Good riddance! says:

    Just the tip of the iceberg. The talk in the press is all about the dead culprits because there are no legal issues with implicating dead people. But wait until Scotland Yard start charging the live culprits who they are investigating.

    The BBC are toast. The reputational damage will be terminal. Nobody will want to publicly defend them when they get the chop. The defensive propaganda that they and their media and political allies, have been planning, if they were ever to be overhauled, will just not be viable. They will be public pariahs and completely friendless.

  247. 247
    Airey Belvoir says:

    Cap’n Bob fucked much more than the Mirror Group. Maxwell Comms Int had 20,000 employees. I was one. Eventually got 50% back, prised from the reluctant grip of our banks, who were hanging on to huge sums and had to be shamed into partial return.

  248. 248
    Airey Belvoir says:

    Savile is probably in L

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