October 18th, 2012

Guidogram Going Out Shortly

The Guidogram round-up of the week is going out shortly.

Thousands of Westminster insiders read the Guidogram, everyone from Downing Street insiders to Fleet Street never miss it. Make sure you get the low-down on how expenses-hungry MPs have been rent-swapping in order to trouser taxpayers’ cash, and get all the latest on Luciana Berger’s dodgy dormant donations.

Join the conspiracy and become a subscriber to the Guidogram, free, to keep in the loop. You’re either in front of Guido, or behind…


  1. 1
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Gorgeous George is having kittens.

    Policeman investigates burglary at GGs and has it off with GG’s assistant at GG’s flat.

    “My first contact with xxxxx came on the day of a burglary at my home in Streatham in June. He was introduced to me by my then parliamentary assistant xxxxx. It is my understanding that the two had had, and were having, a relationship.”


    Is this a case of breaking and entering?

  2. 2

    Tell it to wipe its feet when it comes back in.

  3. 3
    Derek McCulloch says:

    The BBC covered up my crimes for 40 years.

    Goodnight children, everywhere!

  4. 4
    curtons says:

    Get thee behind me Satan.

  5. 5
    nellnewman says:

    Good way to end the week – the five landlord MP’s bercow didn’t want named are chris bryant,clive betts,phillip hollobone, peter luff and meg munns.

    There are a further 95 troughing landlord mp’s working the same scam. So c’mon taxpayers allowance you’ve got your work cut out to identify and out them!!

  6. 6
    John Bercow says:

    Going out shortly?.

  7. 7
    Tony Blair says:


  8. 8

    Is this surmise or actually established now?

    Creepy. I remember it from my youth before I even knew what abuse was.

  9. 9
    Selohesra says:

    Don’t know a lot about the others but would dearly love to see Bryant resign/sacked in disgrace

  10. 10

    Uncle Dick. Simpson must have chosen his euphemism with care.

  11. 11

    Labour: Chris Bryant, Clive Betts, Meg Munn
    Tory: Phillip Hollobone, Peter Luff

    Disgrace: All of them.

  12. 12
    The green mouldy thing at the back of your fridge says:

    ‘Meg Munns’ has to be a pseudonym, surely?

  13. 13

    Luciana Berger is a crook and she has a big nose. Have I got that the right way round?

  14. 14
    Fronton de suif says:

    Uncle Willy.

  15. 15
    Barbra Streisand says:

    Another JAP stunner, like me.

  16. 16
    Sarah Jessica Parker says:

    And me! Fucking amazing what Hollywood can get the gentiles to swallow.

  17. 17
    Lady Gaga says:

    Saving the best till last.

  18. 18
    The end of the BBC says:

    News veteran John Simpson has claimed that the BBC gagged him when he tried to expose the behaviour of an unnamed children’s radio presenter who fits the profile of corporation legend Derek McCulloch. Simpson spoke in thinly veiled terms about a sex ab*ser he called “Uncle Dick”, who was famous as a children’s radio entertainer from the 1930s to the 60s. Simpson told The Sun that the ab*ser was one of the BBC’s biggest names from the 1920s until his death in 1967.

    McCulloch is best remembered as “Uncle Mac” in BBC Radio’s immensely popular Children’s Favouriites and Children’s Hour and for playing the Larry the Lamb character in Toytown. His sign-off line, “Goodnight children, everywhere”, was heard by four million youngsters who tuned in to every show.

    Distinguished foreign correspondent Simpson said: “Week after week, children from all over the country would win competitions to visit the BBC and meet Uncle Dick. He would welcome them, show them around, give them lunch, then take them to the gents and interfere with them,” claimed Simpson in his book Strange Places, Questionable People. “If parents complained, the director general’s office would write saying the nation wouldn’t understand such an accusation against a much-loved figure.”

    Simpson said he uncovered the allegations while researching the presenter’s obituary in 1967. He said an unnamed woman branded the man believed to be McCulloch “an evil old bastard”. “I hope he died in agony,” she added.

  19. 19
    Amy Winehouse says:

    Fuck off! I’m the most beautiful.

  20. 20
  21. 21
    You jest says:


  22. 22
    Cressida Dick says:


  23. 23
    The end of the BBC says:

    Next celeb to exposed as a pervert:

    Schnorbitz the dog.

  24. 24
    Yvonne from the Colliers Arms Clydach says:

    After all we have done for those Greeks they are now rioting in the streets .

    Do not look at your TVs . The secenes are just too horrible to witness .

    Mr Cameron should pull out of the ongoing EU Summit in protest , recall all Uk citizens from Greece and call in all Uk Bank Loans .

    Being nice and giving more money is not working .

  25. 25
    Selohesra says:

    We once had a children’s entertainer for a kids party called Mr Sausage – fortunately he turned out to be OK

  26. 26
    Handycock sex Tourist on Taxpayer's money says:

    Were you a member of the Craft too Derek? Boaz.

  27. 27
  28. 28
    curtons says:

    Lol, those where the days of innocence.

  29. 29
  30. 30
    UKIP.i.am says:

    “You dirty old man”. Sounds rather more fitting now.

  31. 31
    Mr Sausage says:

    That’s what you think, mate…

  32. 32
    Tom Watson says:

    Surely Nick Griffin has just breached Sec 127 (1) of the Communications Act 2003 http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2003/21/section/127 … (communication of menacing character)

  33. 33
  34. 34

    It’s fucking creepy. My mother is now 94. She used to love all this shit. Do I tell her or keep quiet?

  35. 35
    Really? says:

    Being nice?

    The Greeks aren’t getting a penny from the bailout loans.

    It’s all going to German and French banks to pay off the initial loans taken out by the Greek government.
    The Greeks are rioting because they are being forced to pay for the debt and bailout that the banks and crooked government agreed to.
    It’s called economic fascism, read a book sometime soon, as you clearly understand the square root of ziltch.

  36. 36
    Freemason New World Order Illuminati Tinfoil Bollocks Brigade says:


  37. 37
    The end of the BBC says:

    So that’s three confirmed p*edos the BBC covered up so far, with more to be revealed.

    How on earth can the BBC keep its broadcasting licence after this? Oh, I know how. Labour will do all it can to sabotage an inquiry so they can keep the BBC a publicly funded body.

    The outcome of the inquiry should be abolition of the licence fee and the privatisation of the BBC into a commercial enterprise like ITV and Channel 4.

  38. 38
    The green mouldy thing at the back of your fridge says:

    “protesters lobbed flares, petrol bombs and chunks of marble at lines of riot police”

    It’s just as well we didn’t return the Elgin Marbles.

  39. 39
    Kebab Time says:

    i lick that – very funny

  40. 40
    Selohesra says:

    Can they not just sell Corfu to the Chinese or Germans and raise enough to reduce their debt to managable levels?

  41. 41
    The green mouldy thing at the back of your fridge says:

    I don’t wish to be pedantic, but there’s no T in ‘zilch’.

  42. 42
    33° Grand Inspector General says:

  43. 43
    Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    Wasn’t that other TV childrens entertainer ‘Mr Pastry’ fond of the young ‘uns.

    Oh and that old duffer with a big mustash who used to play headmaster at a boys school: always going around with a cane in his hands.

  44. 44
    B is for Brainwashed Arsewipe says:

    Close the BBC down.

  45. 45
    Graham says:

    And the sooner the better. Perhaps the two Eds will buy the BBC for Liebour. It is , after all , the political medium for Liebour.

  46. 46
    The green mouldy thing at the back of your fridge says:

    What about William Hartnell? Surely Dr Who is an allegorical tale of child molestation? “Strange old man invites young girl into large box with promises of showing her ‘strange and wonderful things'” should have set alarm bells ringing.

  47. 47
    V1le Labour ruined my Country says:

    Is that mincing poof Bryant going to repay all his fraudulent expenses. Yes, I’m sure he will, NOT.

  48. 48
    curtons says:

    Perhaps somebody from the BBC could explain why Panorama is belatedly doing a programme about why the Savile film was pulled?. Why not just broadcast the original or has it as I suspect already been incinerated?.

  49. 49
    nellnewman says:

    Maybe if we could no longer find food in supermarkets, medicines and medical help in hospitals and had to rely on vigitalntes for security because police had disappe@red from our streets we might be rioting too.

    The EU is dying – pity it’s taking such a long and ugly path to do it.

  50. 50
    nellnewman says:

    Nope labour like the country generally has been left ba nk ru pt ed by labour incompetence. No money left.

  51. 51
    An intellectually crippled old bag in Edinburgh says:

    Panorama is set up to enable the BBC to get its bullshit and brainwshing across. In attempt to save its sorry little arse.

  52. 52
    Satanic curry says:

    Cus he is about to let out the fart from hell.

  53. 53
    I hate Parliament so much it hurts says:

    I agree – the other great problem, as I see it (and to which you allude), is we’re borrowing £53million every day to pay the membership fee of a club which isn’t going to be around much longer. So (in the absence of Cameron stopping our payments) the sooner the EU collapses the better.

  54. 54
    Anonymous says:

    how did the BBC become the protector of national interests? the same BBC which gave the Cambridge spy Guy Burgess the high life and now we learn protected paedophiles.

  55. 55
    Flipping Cheek says:

    That is neither his Bloomsbury mansion Flat nor his present Flat.

    From the Telegraph:

    In April 2005, he flipped his expenses to his flat in west London, which he bought for £400,000 in April 2002. He claimed £630 a month for mortgage interest, along with other bills. After claiming more than £3,600 over three months, he sold the flat in July 2005 for £477,000.

    Mr Bryant used his profits to buy a more expensive flat in west London, which was valued at £670,000. He immediately flipped his second home expenses there.

    Easily verified at the Land Registry


  56. 56
    Anonymous says:

    firstly we discover the nation’s favourite son.in.law did a temporary deal with the devil.

    then we discover that Auntie Beeb and the rest of our extended family at the NHS have not been protecting the unprotected.

    But then this only happened as our mother’s rather not keep an eye on the kids.

  57. 57
    blub says:

    it’s called loansharking

  58. 58
    I cant find my sunglasses says:

    And an innocent Greek man has now lost his life whilst Merkel and Hollande bicker in public to attract national acclaim .

  59. 59
    JH says:

    Think about it.

    You’re a political party.

    The population are compelled under threat of prison to pay for your propaganda broadcast wing.

    You’d give that good shit up, would you?

    Course you would.

  60. 60
    ? says:

    Is this where the expression Dirty Mac man came from?

  61. 61
    soapy says:

    All nicely arranged and tied up in pink ribbons by Goldperson Socks.

    It’s what they do…

  62. 62
    soapy says:

    MER kel +
    Holllan DE =


  63. 63
    soapy says:

    We all thought you were the only menacing character round here. Were we mistooked?

  64. 64
    Sobvious Innit says:

    The idea is to PERVERT the course of the ongoing enquiries.

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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

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