October 11th, 2012

Mission Im-Boris-able


  1. 1
    Plato says:

    No wonder you can never get a bike – that fat f’ucker’s always on them…

  2. 2
    Jeremy (unt says:

    More trees? Gets my vote!

  3. 3
    Anonymous says:

    I assume that was his personal debit/credit card?

  4. 4
    Anonymous says:

    What is he doing in Cowley Street?

  5. 5
    EdMiliband says:

    Wunnathhun anyone?

  6. 6
    Anonymous says:

    All of you can see how fast Osborne is paying UK’s maxed out credit card. Looks like it will be £1.1bn before the end of today.


  7. 7
    Red Ken Lyingscum says:

    Why did Boris accuse me of running a ‘cabal of semi-Marxist and taxpayer-funded Chateauneuf du Pape-swilling, tax minimisers and car-hating bendy-bus fetishists’ ?

  8. 8
    jgm2 says:

    I don’t know. But he did publish all his bank account details in the paper one time and defied anybody to steal money from his account to demonstrate (he thought) that the risks involved with internet transactions were miniscule.

    Somebody set up a 100 quid direct debit to a charity.

    He’s a fucking star.

    The bedwetters must watch videos like that and swallow their tongues in apoplexy.

  9. 9
    Liam Byrne ( aka Baldemort ) says:

    But there’s no money left ?

  10. 10
    Anonymous says:

    BOE might be cutting trees as soon as Boris plants to print more and more money.

  11. 11
    Ed Balls says:

    We need to borrow more money, print more money and pay public sector workers more if we are to end this recession and return to growth.

  12. 12
    Gordon Brown says:

    That’s right Ed.

  13. 13
    Mike Hunt says:

    Because it was true.

  14. 14
    Plato says:

    That’s how secure bank accounts are. The only people who can’t get do anything are the named account holders.

    Same with passports. Legit travellers are treated like Carlos the Jackal but that 15 year old lass can travel on her boyfriends wife’s.

  15. 15
    Rush Limbaugh says:

    The most beautiful thing about a tree is what you do with it after you cut it down.

  16. 16
    Aunty Matter says:

    Funny the BBC seem to be taking a bit more of an interest in the Jimmy Savile story for some reason…oh hang on Leeds and Stoke Mandevile hospital are in the firing line.

    Still doesn’t stop the BBC from being a cesspit though and the BBC unable to explain why Newsnight refuses to cover the biggest news story going, yet when it came to phone hacking they handed out blow jobs to lefty celebs on a nightly basis

  17. 17
    Viscount Linley says:


  18. 18
    Anonymous says:

    People vote in the government they deserve. What most of you haven’t realised is most work shy on dole never vote. This is why this government gave them nearly 6% dole increase, they don’t want them to vote.

  19. 19
    Anonymous says:

    Sorry not end of the day, it looks more like end of the hour.

  20. 20
    Swan Vestas says:

    You can make millions of things.

  21. 21
    Moussa Koussa says:

    Yawn !!!!

    Has Mongchell resigned yet

    Has Mongo Mensch emigrated yet.

  22. 22
    Anonymous says:

    Its better to give them the money to come and do something rather than stay at home and watch TV or play video game like our PM Dave.

  23. 23
    Robert Mugabe, economist, poet, wit and raconteur. says:

    You don’t need more paper. Just recall the old banknotes and print an extra half-dozen zeros on them.

    Worked for me.

  24. 24
    annette curton says:

    As far as this Country is concerned they might just as well do away with passports altogether, all they do now is give the bearer a supposed legitimacy that they no longer possess.

  25. 25
    jgm2 says:


    No. It isn’t better to give them money to ‘come and do something’. That’s what got us into this mess.

  26. 26
    jgm2 says:


  27. 27
    jgm2 says:


  28. 28
    jgm2 says:


  29. 29
    annette curton says:

    Jimmy who?.

  30. 30
    Anonymous says:

    Like BOE printing money?

  31. 31
    Anonymous says:

    Pretty shameless the way his journey from south of the river, takes him via Parliament to Buckingham Palace, impliedly to ask the Queen for permission.

    Rather flies in the face of his claim of loyalty to DC from the stage. ConservativeHome will have given his office sight of this before it was played at the fringe meeting and the fact that no one there vetoed this speaks volumes.

  32. 32
    Gillian Duffy says:

    I’d rather be a pleb than a bigot.

  33. 33
    Anonymous says:

    Why doesn’t this government stop giving any benefits?

  34. 34
    Moussa Koussa's pet meerkat says:

    Comedy Dave, displayed the backbone of a filleted jellyfish by not sacking him immediately.
    Par for the course in view of the fact he did not sack the ‘twee’ Jeremy Hunt who dropped his personal adviser in the proverbial. I wrote to my MP who does not dare say anything against Boy Dave and I received a very feeble reply.
    Two years ago I was in correspondence with Mitchell, an unpleasant experience, whereby he attempted to bully me into apologising to him since he claimed that I had traduced him.
    He failed miserably and I read him his fortune. He appears simply to be part of the top table *claque hoping to climb up the greasy political ladder.

  35. 35
    Dave "Butch" Cameron says:

    Angela Merkel is a Nazi bitch.

  36. 36
    Loungelizard says:

    I’d like to see a Labour version of this starring Ed, maybe along the lines of the old Milk Tray ads.

  37. 37
    Selohesra says:

    Still using offensive disablest terms to describe people you don’t like – I’m sure your party would be proud of you. To think of the outrage you felt over the term pleb

  38. 38
    jgm2 says:

    Let’s cut the horseshit about the BOE printing money. It is the government printing money. The economy is so fucked (by Labour) that the government literally cannot think of any other way of paying the public sector without simply printing the money to do so.

    This is full-on Zimbabwe economics. We are only a year or two behind Greece with this fucking insanity. Dave should have slashed public sector headcount by 20% on day one. Or given them a 20% pay cut.

    It’s the only way to balance our budget. We simply cannot afford to pay them what they were only getting anyway as a result of reckless borrowing and squandering by the Maximum Imbecile.

    If spending your way out of an economic crisis using borrowed and printed money worked then Zimbabwe would be the richest country on the planet.

  39. 39
    Selohesra says:

    missed :)

  40. 40
    Anonymous says:

    jgm2 says:

    Osborne is borrowing at a faster rate than Brown. Osborne will end up borrowing more in 4 years than what Brown did in 13 years.

  41. 41
    Voter says:

    “The test of Mr Mitchell’s authority will come on Monday when MPs return to the House of Commons at the end of the party conference season.” – The Independent.

    Shouldn’t the fuckers do this in their own time or in their summer hols?

  42. 42
    Bank operative says:

    I’m sorry I cant give you that information until you tell me your eighteen digit code.

  43. 43
    god, i hate them all says:

    where’s walter

  44. 44
    jgm2 says:

    Osborne is borrowing at a slower rate than Balls and has at least started to reduce the deficit.

    Comedy Gold averaging the Maximum Imbecile’s borrowing over 13 years to improve his ‘rate’. It’s like claiming Winston Churchill is still alive because, on average, since 1874, he’s been alive more often than not.

  45. 45
    Anonymous says:

    So you want Dave to cut 20% of Police, nurses, teachers, etc?

    Simple solution will be to stop dole rather than increase it by 6% as Dave and his mate did in the last budget.

  46. 46
    Anonymous says:

    Osborne is very quick he has already increased the borrowing to £1.1bn.

  47. 47
    jgm2 says:

    It’s probably Ricky Gervaise being ‘ironic’.

  48. 48
    Anonymous says:

    jgm2 says:

    Last year defect was reduced this year it has gone up by 25% and going up and up.

  49. 49
    jgm2 says:


    Or take a 20% pay cut. Their mor*tg*ages have been slashed to next to nothing with a 0.5% interest rate and, if we hadn’t printed so much cash just to pay them, then the pound wouldn’t have lost 25% of its value so food and fuel wouldn’t be so expensive. In other words, the majority of ‘em would be no worse off after their mo*rtg*age than they were before Brown’s economic clusterfuck eventually hit in 2007/8.

  50. 50
    jgm2 says:


  51. 51
    Practical Economist says:

    Teachers can go, they’re only spouting lefty crap to immigrant’s failed abortions. We only need them to serve the indigenous population so 2 minutes on how to use a broom is sufficient for their life’s progress.

  52. 52
    Raving Loon says:

    Just marry the guy Guido, enough already!

  53. 53
    Moussa Koussa says:

    Poor old jgm2


    Chief Whip still on the rack
    Mongo Mensch about to emigrate, ie become an immigrant
    Corby by election battering weeks away
    Little or no reaction to Call Me Privileged speech
    Economy still in tatters
    Warsi still in cabinet
    Gideon quaffing champers before Call Me Privileged speech, 11:00am
    Obsessed by a man who I can guarantee you will never be PM (Alexander de Pfeffel Johnson )
    BBC obsession is so bad, I’d recommend clinical therapy
    Free schools, there are hardly any
    …I could go on

  54. 54
    Stephen Fry says:

    Never heard of him!

  55. 55
    sekwaf odiug says:

    Guido, have you seen that article in the Guardian, taken from the The Mail, by Max Hastings about your hero Boris, http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/oct/10/boris-johnson-unfit-to-be-prime-minister . O dear!

  56. 56
    jgm2 says:

    Up by 25% since April or up 25% in a single month?

    Whichever it is all it is telling us is that we are still spending money we don’t have.

    The solution is very simple. Stop spending so much money.

  57. 57
    jgm2 says:

    *****VERY RATTLED*****

  58. 58

    Jimmy Savile: former BBC executives deny sex abuse claims were open secret. Grauniad


    So that’s alright then… GMG are therefore another part of the cover-up.

  59. 59
    Anonymous says:

    jgm2 says:

    Are you on dole? It seems you don’t want to stop dole. It is the biggest expenditure, over £180bn a year and increasing. If UK stop it UK can pay its debt in 6 years.

  60. 60
    Dick the Prick says:

    But he’s an oracle, he’s guaranteed that BoJo won’t be PM – he’s the Polly Toynbee of his generation!

  61. 61
    Dick Scratcher says:

    Jimmy Saville, John Peel, Freddie Starr, Stuart Hall, Gary Glitter, Dave Lee Travis, Norman Wisdom, Jonathan King etc.

  62. 62
    Corrie L'Anus says:

    Mrs L’Anus likes a nice bit of wood…has to be said…

  63. 63
    Anonymous says:

    jgm2 says:

    25% this year as more and more are claiming some form of benefits and as tax revenue is falling.

    If government stops benefits it can save £180bn plus every year.

  64. 64
  65. 65
    Dick the Prick says:

    Ah diddums, mommy may give you a biccy wiccy.

  66. 66
    robbie says:

    Just wait till Alex Salmond leaps off a helium balloon at 120,000 ft in the general direction of the Perth Conference centre next week.

    He may end up landing in Stavanger, but you can’t fault him for effort.

  67. 67
    Dick the Prick says:

    Tories aren’t Fabians you know – mass extermination, genocide and sociocide reside in the Labour Party chum(p). But yeah, reducing housing benefit, eliminating child and working tax credit and ending disability living allowance would be nice.

  68. 68
    jgm2 says:

    I doubt ‘dole’ is 180bn quid a year.

    The entire ‘social security’ budget ie pensions, disabled this, disabled that, child allowance, dole, free housing, mobility vehicles, etc etc might come to 180bn quid but there is no way that just paying dole to 2.6 million (or whatever it is) is more expensive than the NHS (100bn for one million-ish employees) and the schools (half a million employees, 40bn budget) combined.

  69. 69
    Stephen Fry says:

    I have absolutely no idea who any of these people are

  70. 70
    jgm2 says:

    Tax revenue is falling? How is that possible? The rich are still being taxed at 50%?

    Perhaps we should tax the rich at 75% like the French. That’s bound to work.

  71. 71
    jgm2 says:

    He’ll need a bigger than average parachute too the puce-faced, heart-attack-in-waiting.

  72. 72
    Jimmy Savile says:

    Now then, now then, “Suffer the little children to come unto me”– and I’ll do the same thing in return, as it happens…

  73. 73
    sekwaf odiug says:

    Even Guido does not want to know him a fellow co-religionist

  74. 74
    Old Tory Bigot says:


    I found my old blue passport the other day. It expired many years ago but I kept it for the many stamps of happy travels long ago and for the image of a rather good-looking young chap in the little photo.

    It said BRITISH PASSPORT on its dark navy, stiff board covers. It looked like the sort of document James Bond would be happy to carry across international borders.

    I compared it to my flimsy little red ‘EU’ passport, out of which stared the haggard old git I occasionally glimpse in the shaving mirror (but who is not me) and wondered where all the glory had gone.

  75. 75
    Greychatter says:

    The Government have reduced the DEFICIT left by Labour, 152Billion (the difference between Government spending and Tax receipts) by 25%. Probably now around 124 Billion


    When Tax receipts are more than Government spending, the total country DEBT (ONE something Trillion, built up over Decades) will start to be reduced.

    Look at the above link and compare the different in Deficit between Labour and Tory spending over the years and the Surplus Gordon got the benefit of from Ken Clarke. Before Gordon went wild.

  76. 76
    Vogue says:

    And you are somehow perfect in every way..?

  77. 77
    sekwaf odiug says:

    Max Hastings certainly hopes not

  78. 78
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    Steady on old girl!

  79. 79
    BBC Watch Watch says:

    Moussa. Do you actually write this stuff yourself or do you have an infinite number of utter c unts making it up for you?

  80. 80
    BBC Watch Watch says:

    Norman Wisdom?

    I don’t believe that for a second.

  81. 81
    BBC Watch Watch says:

    You don’t have to be anywhere near perfect to call Salmond a lard-arsed sack of cholesterol heart failure.

  82. 82
    sekwaf odiug says:

    Yes that would be in the public interest, what was that Guido saying about union pilgrims having time off work to do union (party) business, why should they be paid while they are doing political party business why don’t the parties pay them

  83. 83
    Corrie L'Anus says:

    ‘Juice’ sans Frontieres!!….surely not Mr Gwimsdale??!!

  84. 84
    sekwaf odiug says:

    He’s not is he

  85. 85
    sekwaf odiug says:

    Pickles makes Salmond look like a male version of Twiggy

  86. 86
    BBC Watch Watch says:

    But he has the heart of an ox and the courage of a lion.

  87. 87
    Jimmy says:

    “It is the biggest expenditure, over £180bn a year”

    Jesus wept where the fuck do you get this crap from? Do you work for Gideon?

  88. 88
    Diogenes says:

    He was riding across the wobbly bridge, which is banned. Should he be cautioned.

Seen Elsewhere

Greens are Commies in Disguise | Andrei Rogobete
When Osborne Weaponised | Paul Waugh
Divided Left Will Cost Ed | George Eaton
I’m Hoping Labour Attack Tories on Education | Toby Young
Westminster’s NHS Conspiracy of Silence | Allister Heath
Milburn Health Consultancy Worth £2 Million | Scrapbook
Stuart Broad Right, Peston Broadly Wrong | Ryan Bourne
The 38 Seats in England Yet to Select a Tory Candidate | ConHome
Labour and Green Ecofascism | Matthew Walsh
Burnham Shows Why Labour Can’t Be Trusted | Speccie
Why Online Voting is a Crap Idea | Ballot Box

Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Alan Milburn says Labour’s scaremongering campaign for an unreformed NHS will not win election…

“It would be a fatal mistake, in my view, for Labour to go into this election looking as though it is the party that would better resource the National Health Service but not necessarily put its foot to the floor when it comes to reforming. Look, reforms are not easy, but the Labour Party is not a conservative party. It should be about moving things forward not preserving them in aspic. You have got a pale imitation actually of the 1992 general election campaign, and maybe it will have the same outcome. I don’t know.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,715 other followers