October 9th, 2012

Local Government Pilgrims Face the Axe
Maude Reforms to Be Recommended Across Local Government

Eric Pickles has just announced that Frankie Maude’s reforms to Whitehall Pilgrims are to be recommended across all local government. Speaking as the first ever Cabinet minister to address the fringe Freedom Zone, Pickles highlighted a poster found in his department as an example of just why taxpayers’ money shouldn’t be going to unions:

“I don’t mind the idea, I like the tumble of politics. I even like idea of trade unions – my family were all trade unionists. But what they did, is they paid for it themselves.”

Fox joined in the fight, with a rousing bashing of the principle that the taxpayer should ever pick up the tab for a public sector worker not to do their job.The clock is ticking. It is the Pilgrims’ eleventh hour…



  1. 1
    Selohesra says:

    Don’t hold your breath – empty words are easy

  2. 2
    Mr Rotivator says:

    I know of one civil servant who will need retraing because he hasn’t done a proper day’s work for years. Same must apply to some teachers and nurses (inc of course, Jane Pilgrim herself)

  3. 3
    nellnewman says:

    For once I think this government is doing something worthwhile. First the change of law re: dealing with burglars, cutting benefits to under 25’s and now the abolition of pilgrims.

    Definitely going in the right direction.

  4. 4
    Jane Pig Grim says:

    Why can’t they just pluck the money from Gordon Brown’s Money Trees ??

  5. 5
    nellnewman says:

    For once I think this government is doing something worthwhile. First the change of law re: dealing with bu rgl ars, cutting benefits to under 25′s and now the ab oli tion of pilgrims.

    Definitely going in the right direction.

  6. 6
    ed martin says:

    does this include the NHS?

  7. 7
    May Flower says:

    Please can they include the NUJBBC pilgrims. They are on the paid-from- tax payroll too.

  8. 8
    Kevin T says:

    Course they’re just announcing these things. That cu nt Nick Clegg will probably veto them all next Monday.

  9. 9
    Loungelizard says:

    An uphill struggle when you consider LibDems, EU, Labour, Civil Service, BBC, Unions……..but some things are getting sorted.

  10. 10
    Kevin T says:

    Regarding the adverts for “Brennan” CD players, seen on this site and in every edition on Private Eye, can someone explain to me what is the point of them? “You can store, browse and play your entire CD collection.” How is that different to what I do on my bleeding phone?

  11. 11
    Action Speaks Louder says:

    We need a firm date for this, otherwise it is just useless verbage. Pickles has sat on his hands for far too long already while ur corrupted local council budgets continue to be pillaged by the entrenched Labour party cliques.

    And while he’s about it, he has failed to deal with the town hall pravdas: Waltham Forest is still spending a fortune on regular party polticial broadcasts by the Labour Party, while closing public toilets and libaries

  12. 12
    jgm2 says:

    This is a winning policy from the T*ries. The unions will be more or less forced to get up-in-arms and militant – particularly if the T*ries start firing pilgrims when they refuse to be ‘bought out’ by the unions under TUPE legislation.

    As soon as the unions are marching about the place pissing and moaning the T*ries support will soar.

    Absolute belter of a policy.

  13. 13
    If you don't work you don't eat says:

    They can always sweep the streets.

  14. 14
    Eric Pickles says:

    “I like the tumble of politics,I like the idea of being in Opposition from 2015 onwards.I am a total Tory imbecile”

  15. 15
    Its a bit early for a parade says:

    Right, except that they haven’t actually done anything, they are just talking about it.

  16. 16
    Aunty Matter says:

    I see the BBC are up to their usual tricks. Great idea to change the law on burglars. But not in the view of the BBC who think the law is fine and that this is just evil Tories wanting to make it legal to murder Labour voters.

    Thicko Victoria Derbyshire doesn’t even understand the law change.

  17. 17
    Credit where credit is due. says:

    You are joking?

    Pickles has been the most effective minister of the coalition.

  18. 18
    Anonymous says:

    They are doing ***dy fantastic when you consider they also have the Lib Dems dragging them down as well !

  19. 19
    jgm2 says:

    It’s very simple. Send the unions the bill for the cost of these pilgrim’s time. They’re effectively sub-contracted to the unions so send ‘em the bill.

    Put a decent mark-up on it too to take into account pension costs, building costs, heating and lighting and admin.

    Then take the union to court to pay it.

  20. 20
    Jimmy says:

    “Fox joined in the fight, with a rousing bashing of the principle that the taxpayer should ever pick up the tab for a public sector worker not to do their job.”

    How is young Adam?

  21. 21
    Leftard says:

    Hahaha good one!

    You keep at them with that wit!

  22. 22
    Anonymous says:

    Wrong! Labour will be in opposition from 2015, you cant tell me you have seen anything from them that says otherwise.Plus Ed M is really digging a hole for himself with his “soak millionares” kick, now his own finances have been outed.

  23. 23
    jgm2 says:

    Seriously. Rather than getting into ‘negotiations’ or any shit like that with the unions about taking these fuckers onto their own payroll.

    Send ‘em the fucking bill. Backdate it to June 2010 too.

  24. 24
    A proper Tory is our Eric says:

    He won’t be in opposition with policies like this. This is proper vote winning stuff and the sort of good that the Tories can do for society. Unlike increasing foreign aid, forcing homosexuals to marry and coverling the countryside in expensive windmills.

  25. 25
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Daily Politics on BBC. “Today we shall ask petty trivial questions”. Surely a waste of license fee payers money. Why does the programme need Brillo and Coburn. Cost saving!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  26. 26
    Jane Pilgrim says:

    I’m receiving some pretty ghastly tweets from the Brothers.

  27. 27
    Action Speaks Louder says:

    He has done very little that has made any difference on the ground. You need to get out of Westminster and have a good hard look at the dire situation in some of our Labour controlled London boroughs. If he is the best there is, then the Coalition has very low standards and hasn’t a hope in hell come the next election.

  28. 28
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Let union leaders like Serwotka fund them from their six figure salaries.

  29. 29
    albacore says:

    “Recommended”? Have they asked Santa Claus
    To help out Eric in his righteous cause?
    Up the chimney’s the place for a recommendation
    If Dave’s really too frit to go for legislation

  30. 30
    Shout it from the Roof tops. says:

    Hey Jimbo. You on a loser with this one. This is one policy that will be very popular with the voting public.

    But please feel free to protest and strike and disrupt as you are able as it will only turn the public away from the Unions and the radical left even more.

  31. 31
    jgm2 says:

    Indeed. It’s (potentially) as damaging as Ken Livingston accusing Boris of tax avoidance and then being ‘outed’ himself.

  32. 32
    fruitcake says:

    That 500m subsidy is still about ooh 500m too much.

  33. 33
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Has Ed Miliband said if he is or isn’t a millionaire. Come on Miliband, tell us, it’s the right thing to do.

  34. 34
    Jimmy the Dhimmi says:

    A bit older and wiser than the last time you asked after him.

  35. 35
    iiP monitor says:

    They would be cleared out at their annual performance appraisal. No output = junk heap. Retraining need not be offered if they are already on a pay scale requiring proven and demonstrable ability. Refresher course need implies that unsuitable for the present post.

    Street cleaning beckons.

  36. 36
    Leftard says:

    You know Jimmy, you’ve got the stench of a Union type, possibly a chippy little arsehole who likes to fling muck about in tribunals.

    I sincerely hope this policy does not negatively impact your personal finances in any way.

  37. 37
    Corrie L'Anus says:

    Wouldn’t be so bad if this policy wasn’t being presented by the Chairman of the Bradford Pie Eaters Union….time for Boris to be spokesman on every policy change, U-turn, piece of new nastiness…

  38. 38
    Carry Nation, an old battle-"axe" if ever there was one, says:

    I’m all in favor of hatchets– got some surplus to requirements after Prohibition was repe*aled and I and my gals can’t use’m to bust up spe*akeasies anymore. I’ll make you a sweet deal on ‘em. For enough mazuma, I’ll even license my image as the official icon of your effort.

  39. 39
    Lord Reith says:

    I know let’s have Jane Pilgrim on question time to explain why we rae all paying for not to be a nurse and how much her “training” company Pilgrim’s Way has billed to the public purse. Let’s have Diane Abbott there to defend her. Let’s have a neutral chairman (not Dimblebore or Paxman, how about Adam Bolton?) and a neutral audience (say of can drivers and plumbers).

  40. 40
    The scab in Scarborough says:

    Howzabout that …. now then, now then. What would the Duchess say?

  41. 41
    A woman says:

    Didn’t see the programme today but Brillo and Coburn are usually the most effective political interviewers on telly.

  42. 42
    Lefty apologists says:

    Just because someone owns a house worth more than a million, it doesn’t make them a millionaire.

  43. 43
    Corrie L'Anus says:

    …mmmmm one wonders how the Ex-Right Hon ‘Flying at taxpayers’ expense quite often’ Fox is spending his Ministerial pay-off but that was HIS money surely??? ….How very dare he…

  44. 44
    Loungelizard says:

    The interesting thing is that if the Tories had the guts to do what the electorate want them to do they could sweep into another term with a decent majority. Trying to be all things to all men just reveals a weakness that looses votes. We want a Government that puts the UK first, everything else will follow.

  45. 45
    Abu Hamza says:

    I can’t sit down anymore.

  46. 46
    Now then now then, Mrs T says:

  47. 47
    jgm2 says:

    Did Boris really overturn a 17% poll lead by Livingston to win by 2 or 3%?

    An almost 20% polling swing?

    Did that really happen?

    I must admit I was sceptical reading folk on here pointing out that Foot and Kinnock both had 20%+ poll leads mid-term and still managed to lose and so Dave shouldn’t be too down-hearted being 5% behind.

    But did Boris really get a 20% poll swing?

    No wonder the bedwetters are rattled.

  48. 48
    rockrnolla says:

    Whatever happened to Gordon Brown’s “modernisation” fund for unions which saw public money being given to trade unions many of whom then used it to support the Labour Party? Anyone know if it’s still active?

  49. 49
    Legal Landlord says:

    It does if you are Ed Miliband as he thinks everyone who is a millionaire is about to receive a cheque for £40k from HMRC.

  50. 50
    Socialists shout "filthy J*w" at Tory says:

  51. 51
    Action Speaks Louder says:

    Was anyone arrested for that piece of fraud? I thought not.

  52. 52
    UNITE behind Labour says:

    Pointless exercise as the unions will demand that this be reversed in 2015 when Labour forms the government along with massive pay rises for the public sector…..

  53. 53
    Wee Dougie says:

    Yes, but, no, we were talking about people who earn more than a million a year when we used the commonly-understood-differently word ‘millionaire’. Note that we may change that to people earning a million a month the second it suits us..

  54. 54
    Action Speaks Louder says:

    Only if they implement it. Sadly, this government likes to have a good old natter with itself and the twittersphere about doing thnks but is very poor on execution. Maybe these poltical pygmies think that just because they say something it will happen. It doesn’t. They need to get off their fat policy-fed backsides and get some work done.

  55. 55
    Freeloader in Belize says:

    It’s disgusting how unins hide money.
    Totally not British.

  56. 56
    Eric Pickles says:

    I furthermore all delegates at Conference to join me in marching with the TUC in the protest against austerity on Saturday 20 October 2012.


  57. 57
    jgm2 says:

    That presupposes the bedwetters will be elected in 2015. Which, with Nasal Ned whining his way through a one month election period horrifying voters the length and breadth of the UK is by no means clear. As others have pointed out, at this point in the past, the t*ries have been 20%+ behind in the polls and gone on to win.

    Also, by 2015, thanks to Alex Salmond’ English independence movement, England may have shrugged off the Scottish albatross thus wiping out 40 or so bedwetter MPs at a stroke.

  58. 58
    London is a cruel town says:

    Yes he did. But then the pollsters may not have been asking the right people.

  59. 59
    Archibald Maule Ramsay MP says:

    Liam Fox is similar to me.

  60. 60
    Its often all a quesiton of timing says:

    How about people who earn a million pounds in the few seconds it takes to avoid inheritance tax by shuffling a bit of paper?

    Incidentally, how did Ed Milliband’s dad make all that money?

  61. 61
    Dave Camoron (one-term PM) says:

    Oh crikey! Dash it, I forgot all about that! Sorry, I’m dedicating all my time to the important issue of legalising gay marriage. All these lesser little itsy bitsy things, like the economy, will have to wait what what.

    Toodle pip!

  62. 62
    Uncle Joe says:

    You’ve spotted how it works! Just say you’ll do in 2016, the media report it and the prols think its happening. Like that fool Bukharin I tell him one thing and do another. You will have to shoot them you know

  63. 63
    Dave Camoron says:

    Oh crikey! Dash it, I forgot all about that! Sorry, I’m dedicating all my time to the important issue of legalising gay marriage. All these lesser little itsy bitsy things, like the economy, will have to wait what what.

    Toodle pip!

  64. 64
    Uncle Joe says:

    You are easily pleased do you work for Conservative Party Centre?

  65. 65

    Come on now – we can’t have bias, based purely on body shape and appealing looks – it IS showbusiness for ugly people after all……. and for all that’s holy, both LieBore and the Limp Dumbs are both in exceedingly short supply of eye candy!

  66. 66
    The public says:

    I have never heard of you. You’d better explain how.

  67. 67
    Uncle Joe says:

    Sounds deviant, have him shot

  68. 68
    Dave Camoron (one-term PM) says:

    Why thank you, my good sir, thank you!

    You see, I try to sort out government waste, I try give you a referendum on EU membership, I try to get rid of green taxation nonsense, but the LibDems FORCE me to dedicate all of my time to legalising gay marriage. Oh woe is me.


    Toodle pip!

  69. 69
    Bobs Crowing says:

    YOU see the nmaths dont you – £1 for pilgrims = 7-9 return. We wont strike as often so you’ll save a fortune. We will only strike for more pay and better codntiinso and less work. No problem there is there.

  70. 70
    George Gideon Oliver Osborne says:

    Bloody marvellous day for job losses.

    B & Q shed 220 jobs at Hampshire Head Office.

    Drinks wholesaler Waverley TBS Ltd make 685 staff redundant.

    And all the time that upper class Tory twerp,David Cameron says “The UK economy is gently healing”

    Utter bollocks from Cameron as usual.

  71. 71
    Ed Balls MP (Music Hall Comedian) says:

    Good news for Abu Hamza……Guantanamo Bay’s Xmas panto this year is Peter Pan…!!

  72. 72

    As I never tire of telling “she who must be obeyed”, one should never ask a question for which one does not already know the answer, young RetardEd.

    Take them down, for another 6 years of opposition.

  73. 73
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    ‘Liam Fox tells fringe event…: “This is corrupt and it needs to stop.”‘

    Beyond satire, the contemptible little man.

    ‘Liam Fox resigned as it emerged that the Defence Secretary had personally asked a City financier to bankroll his unofficial adviser.’


  74. 74
    The public says:

    B & Q have a head office? Who knew?

  75. 75
    Butch Dave says:

    Don’t mention the fucked economy, fat boy.

  76. 76
    The religion of pe*ce strikes again says:

    Pakistani Taliban say they carried out shooting of 14-year-old Malala Yousafzai, campaigner for girls’ education

  77. 77
    Butch not bent George Osborne says:

    I could murder a fag.

  78. 78
    Osric Testicles says:

    Gay marriage is no big deal, relax, stop making such a huff and puff about it.

    If gay marriage isnt an important issue, then let it happen, chill, live and let live.

    Otherwise people may start to think you were a bunch of buck toothed billybobs with IQs the size of a pinhead.

  79. 79
    Sam from Witney says:

    You a knob jockey Dave?

  80. 80
    You will screw it if you B&Q it. says:

    I’ve long suspected they had an R&D facility where dozens of staff designed own-brand products that disintegrate the first time they’re used, but I didn’t know they had a Head Office. At least, not one that wasn’t empty.

  81. 81
    Adam Werrity says:

    fancy a bunk up, Liam?

  82. 82
    Jersey Tourist Board welcomes J.Savile and J.Carr says:

    Liam sounds like just the nice respectable type we get down here in Jersey, to bugger boys and film snuff movies.

  83. 83
    keredybretsa says:

    All very confusing. Do I trust my left hand or my right?

  84. 84
    Ed's spad. says:

    BoJo is a millionaire. We were thinking of really sticking it to him about his wealth.
    But then there’s the matter of your own millionairnes, your highness.

  85. 85
    Corrie L'Anus says:

    Aye, if any bloater has been in the trough it’s Pickles surely!! Coincidentally, my mate had a cat called ‘Pickles’ and it was fat, odious and useless too…just saying… whilst slashing facility time is to be lauded I wish to raise a motion (ooer Missus!!) “The Abolition of Excess Troughing whilst in Public Office”

  86. 86
    Your Friendly Neighbourhood Politicians' Personal Finances Analysis Service says:

    If Ralphie-baby had any sense, he left his sons an income rather than the principal of his fortune, as all the old-time aristocrats did for their younger sons who didn’t inherit the manor. If clever legal advice in flipping homes and otherwise engaging in tax planning, plus thrift in living below their means, if they do so, on all the outside interest funds they receive (probably through the work of a good private banker stashing the unspent money in cash-paying investments, allowing compounding) have allowed Ed and David to accumulate enough dosh to be able to scratch a cheque for a million quid and not see it bounce, would anyone really and truly be surprised? And we are not even taking into account what their wives’ assets are in this calculation and if they are jointly-held. We hardly think Ed and David and spouses are wealthy simply in virtue of the worth of their homes and are otherwise impecunious. If anyone would believe that, there’s a bridge in New York they may be interested in buying.

  87. 87
  88. 88
    Corrie L'Anus says:

    Try Jacob Rees Mogg…glad to help

  89. 89
    Corrie L'Anus says:

    ‘Mars’ attacks…I fear you are making a confectionary based defence of the Bradford Tubbster…it’s not bias, in truth it is discrimination,…only one proper obese politician and was ‘Cyril’.. i don’t like fatties telling me about greed etc

  90. 90
    Corrie L'Anus says:

    News Just-ine, by my careful observation i think the fragrant Samantha has the more substantial assets?

  91. 91
    Jim'll Fixit says:

    Liam seems about my size. Send him up.

  92. 92

    We were going to have two regional head offices, but the second one turned up late and half the screws were missing – and would you Adam and Eve it, that was the one where the customer care centre was going to be!

  93. 93
    Corrie L'Anus says:

    I shall have to confiscate your ‘Harvey Proctor Fan Club’ membership card Unc!!

  94. 94
  95. 95

    So your GP, who is 5 times more likely than you to both drink to excess on a regular basis and to smoke is not best placed or qualified to give advice on health, I take it?

  96. 96
    Four-eyed English Genius says:

    “If Ralphie-baby had any sense,”

    Errm, he was a Marxist, so I think that answers that one!

  97. 97
    Jethro says:

    Can’t any of you read? It says: “B & Q shed”… down ‘ere, we do knaw ’bout Sheds!

  98. 98
    Alex says:

    Recommended? Are talking about the government or the Citizens Advice Bureau? Just do it.

  99. 99
    Jimmy says:

    It’s the type of policy which is hugely popular with the sort of slack jawed imbecile who goes to conference. People like you. Hence the timing. The idea that two people splitting a task half time is more efficient than one working full time only makes sense if your real world experience outside the party did not extend beyond your stint writing leaders for the torygraph.

  100. 100
    Corrie L'Anus says:

    My apothecary merely prescribes witch hazel, milk of magnesia and viagra…the only thing that stiffens my resolve Dear Boy….now look…I don’t doubt Fatty, err sorry ‘Sir Eric’ rather, has done some good here and there (and not simply to pie sales and tailors) but he also talked ‘coq’ about weekly bin collections and likes to be considered as Dave’s bit of Working Class rough (now that has to be offputting surely!!)!! Truce?

  101. 101

    Absolutely! (He’s done frog all about the planning laws either to be honest!)

  102. 102
    Corrie L'Anus says:

    …I shall let you have half a blue tab…let’s stiff the lot of them my fave small red planet!!

  103. 103
    Liarpoliticians says:

    Union work?

  104. 104
    Archibald Maule Ramsay MP says:

    Methinks thou doth protest too much.
    Use mouse more.

  105. 105
    Jimmy says:

    Being called a tory can’t have been very pleasant for the lad.

  106. 106
    Mars Attacks says:

    It will at least stop me rolling out of bed. You are an officer AND a gentleman, sir!

  107. 107
    2112 says:

    So, now we learn that in addition to his other delightful qualities, Jimmy is an anti-semite.

  108. 108
    Anonymous says:

    Aye to that!!! I hope the actions can back up the words.

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