It’s nearly that time of year again. Thousands of men up and down the country are set to take part in the Movember campaign to raise awareness for prostate cancer. Will they be joined by Dave and Nick? The Moalition Manifesto is calling for the PM and his Deputy to grow moustaches.

As amusing as it would be to see a Moalition, Guido is sceptical that these two posh boys would be willing to make themselves look like Edwardian gentlemen…