October 5th, 2012

Michael Green’s Tory Conference Pass

No chance of the internet guru doing a Mitchell…

Via @MirrorJames


  1. 1
    Abu Hamza says:

    And it’s goodbye from me.


    • 3
      Mike Hunt says:

      Yeah, Fuck Off and don’t come back. Cunt.


      • 43
        A theologian says:

        I bet that went down well at friday prayers


        • 47
          Butch Dave says:

          President Obumboy’s statisticians tell me my approval rating is now officially the highest in 30 years!


          • Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

            Ah, the Jack Welch line. Shame that every time Romney gets a boost one of his tame nutters runs wild and kicks him in the balls. Las Vegas odds now 1-3 about Obama winning. It is sewn up and best thing anyone can do from either side is get on Obama before the odds hit 1-10.


          • Anonymous says:

            apparently the view of those who are in the U.S, is that Rommy is miles behind.


          • us pressies says:

            he certainly had a lot of tuition and improved for the first presidential debate but obama was lacklustre and the advertising is only just coming into serious play…obama rinses romney to the public straight on to camera. Romney is a later day reagan..team leader not detail man and he gaffes ‘a la bush’ at any time…trait of nature likes to play the comedian.
            If obama can get his vote out he will win.


      • 151
        Mad Frankie Maude says:

        Right,well that’s the first and last time that I’ll high five Abu Hamza.


    • 11
      Broadsword calling Danny Boy says:

      Have a great Christmas at Gitmo.

      Heard that the water tastes great!


    • 16
      The public says:

      He should be put on the plane today. No delays, get rid of him.


      • 21
        Axe The Telly Tax says:

        The RAF will fly him out on a Hercules transport.

        Just dump him out the back over the Whitehouse, if he whines take away his parachute. LOL

        5 down only another 4 million to go.


    • 76
      Fish says:

      Hook Off


    • 84
      The Paragnostic says:

      With apologies to Bob Dylan:

      Farewell Abu Hamza
      The court that is crown
      Has given its verdict
      You must vacate our ground
      The jet engines judder
      And the plane’s rolling slow
      Farewell Abu Hamza
      Your lawyers are liars
      Ad you must go.


  2. 2
    a non says:

    Jeckyll and hide?


  3. 4
    Brown out and pay me damages says:



  4. 5
    John Johnson says:

    So he is going as Michael Green


  5. 6
    Keith Dovkunts says:

    Like Tom Watson, Michael Green/Grant Shapps reminds me of a window-licker. Will he be arriving at the conference on a Sunshine bus?


  6. 7
    Brown out and pay me damages says:

    He is an attention seeking,self serving arsewipe.


  7. 8
    Andrew Mitchell MP says:

    To be fair, would to go to a conference where the coppers are waiting for you with yellow Marigolds?


  8. 9
    He's hooked! says:

    I hope Hamza is force fed bacon sandwiches and beers in the American prison. Cheerio, Capt Hook!


  9. 10
    Aunty Matter says:

    He’s got more identities than Jason fucking Bourne.


  10. 15
    Gordon Brown MP says:

    Next week I shall be attending the Conservative Party conference where my barnstorming speech on the economy will be received with a standing ovation!


  11. 17

    ♫♪ Green is the colour of my true love’s face in the morning, when we rise… ♫♪


  12. 22
    Religion: The Original Sin says:

    Abu Hamza dies of a suspected heart attack.


  13. 26
    Abu Hamburger says:

    Please! Nots to be extradinging me to the great satan! I am most much sorry! I not wanting to be arse ra*ed by big sweaty Americans man! I not have any lubes!


  14. 31
    Polly Toynbee aka Mary Jenkins says:

    Nothing wrong with using another name except when you are caught using it for planning permission to build a conservatory on your multi million pound house


    • 34
      jgm2 says:

      Multi-million pound house in East Sussex? You could buy most of East Sussex with that kind of money. It’s the Fife of Southern England.


      • 59
        Polly Toynbee aka Mary Jenkins says:

        It was on her London Town House.

        From The Telegraph:

        Polly Toynbee, the shrinking violet

        Mary Jenkins’s planning application for a conservatory at her palatial new £1.5million home in north London is being considered by her local council.

        Who? This is the name Polly Toynbee uses on the official documentation.

        The publicity-shy Guardian journalist’s late husband was the political commentator Peter Jenkins and Mary was the name she was given by her parents.

        Interestingly, Toynbee’s new home is registered solely in her name. David Walker, her other half who lost his job after the Audit Commission was scrapped, doesn’t get a look in.


      • 90
        ....No has it fuck ! says:

        “the Fife of Southern England ? ” what ? Has it got the Worlds most famous Golf Course and was the birthplace of Adam Smith ?


        • 113
          Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

          Well, East Sussex National is a much better course than St Andrews – but I have yet to track down a deep fried Mars or a reliable meths supplier in East Sussex.


  15. 35
    Get your life dictated to by an Edinburgh student fud says:



  16. 36
    stupid woman! says:


    • 74
      Bring back the real Sweeney says:

      Utterly vacuous, patronising cow.
      Things don’t change. Decades ago, after a Congo atrocity, a news crew were shouting, “Anyone here speak English and been raped?”


    • 97
      Media Mongs says:

      This sort of scene is just the beginning as the Mongs at SKY continue to treat these dreadful events as some kind of reality entertainment show. Did anyone see the fuckwits doing live reports from a garden the Police were searching. In days gone by they would have been told to fuck off or face the Jail. Changed days. Wankers.


    • 108
      Anonymous says:

      Why weren’t the Stafford Cripps brought in to help with the search, Kay?


      • 112
        Our Mong Media says:

        Any truth in the rumour that the hard faced cow is being lined up to present a new reality show in which she interviews relatives just after they have switched off the life support machine of a loved one. Thats right Kay ask them “how do you feel “, fucking tickity boo !


  17. 40
    Nude Dude says:

    The man known as the naked rambler been released from jail in Edinburgh. Stephen Gough, 53, from Hampshire, was not wearing clothes as he left Saughton Prison earlier.

    He had been serving a five month prison sentence following his arrest in July for being naked near a playpark in Dunfermline. Mr Gough has spent most of the last six years in prison and has previously been arrested almost immediately after he has been released.


    • 42
      Brass monkeys says:

      He must be freezing in this weather!


    • 44
      jgm2 says:

      The dopey fuckers should release him at midnight. Then he’ll be well clear of town by daylight so that no ‘concerned members of the public’ will be able to report him. With a bit of luck he’ll make it back to England before anybody objects again.

      The Scottish courts seem to be determined to make themselves look like petty, spiteful arseholes over this. Quarter of a million quid to keep one eccentric locked up for six years just so that they don’t lose ‘face’. Pricks.


      • 48
        Rob Roy says:

        I understand that Mr Gough is an Englishman .


        • 50
          jgm2 says:

          I believe he is. It may be that the Little Scotlanders in the Scottish judiciary are being especially spiteful because of it.

          After all, one of their kangaroo courts convicted that Megrahi chap of blowing up the Pan Am flight killing 300 or so people and they left him out after only eight years.

          Six years seems like an awful lot for wandering around in the buff.


          • Expat Geordie says:

            Perhaps he should kill somebody then. Guaranteed flight home to England next week if he does.


      • 54
        Naked Rambler says:

        Did someone say member? Mine’s on display for all to see.


      • 100
        I recognise a pervert when I see one says:

        Yeah jgm2 why on earth would the authorities want to stop a naked man wandering around a childrens playpark ? You aren’t related to Jimmy Savile by any chance ?


  18. 46
    Spinal damage says:

    Running out of ideas. :)


  19. 49
    BBC dictatorship says:

    Have the BBC dug up Savile and had him arrested? Still creaming their pants over Eds speech.


  20. 55
    Anonymous says:

    Julie Kirkbride will be there. A group press photo with Julie, Andrew Mitchell, and Michael `Green` would secure Cameron`s position for the future. The Tries will never look back!


    • 68
      Anonymous says:

      Julie will emerge just before the election as the Tory secret weapon to clinch victory. You know its right! Ask Dave!


  21. 56
    A fine pair of lungs says:



  22. 57
    Bring back the real Sweeney says:

    Hooky, you’re going dahn, you sla-a-g!


  23. 61
    Moussa Koussa says:

    I bet he will make light of it at this years Meltdown conference.


  24. 62
    A fine pair of lungs says:

    An apology is in order!


  25. 63
    Final request says:

    When the yanks execute Hook it must be halal.


    • 82
      Bring back the real Sweeney says:

      Yes, he comes complete with butcher’s hook.


    • 83
      Jeremy Clarkson says:

      Halal meat tastes so nasty – I hope they leave him for the vultures.


    • 98
      The Legal Profession at its most sublime says:

      Sorry to disappoint it was a condition by separate side agreement of these people being extradited to USA that they would NOT face the death penalty…it’s the same for all people extradited by UK to countries that still have the death penalty and the applicant must agree to this in order for the application to be granted…..however in USA life means life…90 years


      • 104
        Was Ian Blair the worst Police Chief in history ? says:

        And to think the Met refused to take action against this man when he was preaching his hatred and bile on the streets of London.


        • 116

          If only, instead of a terrorist sponsoring hate preacher, he’d had been a tube traveling electrician on an expired visa.


        • 130
          Axe The Telly Tax says:

          I’m sure if Chris Bryant had been Home Secretary he would have had him deported, instead of taking pictures of himself in his shit stained underpants. LOL


        • 188
          Hugh Janus says:

          Well said @ 104. The sight of that hate-preacher standing on the Queen’s highway telling his followers to eradicate people of this country while the fuzz stand there with their arms folded makes me shout at the telly every time it appears. The usual thick ear from Mrs J is, for once, of absolutely no effect. Indeed, I have become completely immune to her frequent assaults when this clip is shown. I often wonder how the Met would have reacted to me, just an ordinary, God-fearing native of this once great country, holding a meeting in the middle of the bloody road in order to pour bile and hatred on my fellow countrymen. Frankly it just beggars belief.

          I am a stranger in my own country.


      • 111
        Anonymous says:

        Whereas life in Glasgow means two-score and ten if the fags, chips and buckie don’t get you sooner.


        • 182
          Expat Geordie says:

          I was working in Coatbridge in September 1993 when I was told that I was in the “Buckfast Triangle”. Apparently 90% of all worldwide Buckfast (a “tonic wine” brewed by monks in Buckfast, Devon) sales occur in the Buckfast Triangle, centred on Coatbridge and Airdrie.

          At the time Coatbridge town centre was a really nice place to go to, obviously having had a lot of money spent on it by Monklands council. (I haven’t been back since, so I don’t know what it looks like now.) Airdrie, in the same council area, was a shithole.

          Monklands (MP a certain John Smith, leader of the Labour Party at the time) was run by a Catholic mafia which dominated the local Labour Party. You couldn’t get a job on the council if you weren’t Catholic and related to a council member/employee. Coatbridge was a mainly Catholic town, Airdrie was mainly Protestant. Who’d have guessed?

          I reckon that if Scotland does get its independence, then we will probably end up building refugee camps near Carlisle, Berwick and on the Otterburn ranges.


      • 150
        MB. says:

        It’s common for the Americans to give a series consecutive long sentences so there is a total of a few hundred years. That might be over the top but I can’t understand why British courts do not give consecutive sentences. What is the point of several concurrent sentences?


  26. 71
    Anonymous says:

    How tedious this wretched Tory Conference will be.


    • 133
      John Johnson says:

      I think if they can not control their tempers and fur starts to fly, it should prove to be quite entertaining. Watch this blog to see how it goes for a totally unbiased report of course, if our intrepid reporter does not have too much hospitality (free booze). For who is back stabbing who, who’s on the up and who’s on the down read the Guy Fawkes blog, you won’t regret it.


      • 167
        Gooey Blob says:

        Get used to it. There was precious little MSM reporting of the backstabbing and plotting at Labour’s conference, despite the fact that anybody who has been following politics for a few decades knows Miliband is leading his party to electoral disaster.


  27. 73
    A fine pair of lungs says:

    Very confused.


  28. 75
    A stinking old socialist bag in Edinburgh says:

    Two faced!


  29. 77
    Gordon Brown says:

    I am calling an election


  30. 78
    Brown shitst@ins says:



  31. 81
    Itsa Liberal Thing says:


  32. 86
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    Looks like Hamza is going to this institution.



  33. 87
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    Looks like Humsa is going to this institution.



  34. 88
    leaving Edinburgh says:

    Two faced Hunts!


  35. 106
    Butt Wiser - King Of Rears says:

    Abu needs an urgent MRI – metallic rectal insertion.


  36. 118
    Elitism from socialists? says:

    The Social Mobility Foundation exists to support high-achieving young people from low-income backgrounds into the top universities and professions. We do this by providing a holistic programme of support encompassing internships, mentoring, university application support and skills development to students predicted to achieve ABB or above at A-Level .

    Selecting the brightest to give then the best education possible. Doesn’t sound very one nation Comprehensive to me in fact it sounds like the Grammar school system much despised by the socialists.

    But wait a minute one Polly Toynbee is a director of the Social mobility foundation. As are quite a few others.



  37. 121
    Prison films for Abu Hamza says:

    Escape From Alakazam
    Hook Hand Luke
    In The Name of the Imam


    • 129
      Pawn Sandwich says:

      The Hookshank Redemption.
      The Deported.
      The Hookfather.
      Minority Deport.


      • 138
        More films for Abu Hamza says:

        Arse Wide Shut
        Locked, Stocked and Two Smoking Shisha Pipes


      • 184
        Expat Geordie says:

        The Hook that Rocked The Cradle

        Hook (Not sure that Robin Williams would be up for the remake though.)


    • 185
      Expat Geordie says:

      Instead of waterboarding they could show him “Raid on Entebbe” on continuous loop.


      • 190
        Hugh Janus says:

        I would have thought that a couple of viewings of the complete Liebour Party Conference 2012 should finish him off pdq. A trifle harsh, but after 8 years of pissing us about I feel that nothing is too bad for him.


  38. 124
    Gordon the Medicated says:

    I feel so very gay today.

    Must be these new blue pills


  39. 125
  40. 128
    Sadsick and Shathid says:

    Please can we make sure Shahid Malik and Sadiq Khan don’t get anywhere near the Hamza case. They have previous for intervening in the legal process on behalf of muzee terrorist pals.


    • 146
      scumbag alert says:

      could we apply to have sadiq kahn added to the extradition warrant…it woud delay things but worth the wait…add keith vaz whilst you’re there


      • 155
        Sadsick and Shathid says:

        And all the other muslims too while we’re at it. Of course, if we deported all muslims, there’d be nobody left in Luton and Bradford but we could then use the land for normal people.


        • 186
          Expat Geordie says:

          I worked in Bradford in the early 90’s and the part that I worked in was as white as my little village in the Durham Dales. Yet the white areas of Bradford still votes Labour. Talk about lambs voting for Eid.


  41. 134
    Edinburgh dogshite on a motorbike says:



  42. 135
    Hans Johst says:

    All quiet on the Huhne front today?


  43. 144
    Jimmy savile's dressing room queue attendant says:

    …….freddie smelt beaver


  44. 147
    Aunty Matter says:

    I notice that the male population of the BBC keep enjoying the picture of Daniel Craig coming out of the water in his undies.

    They don’t seem keen to show any women from James Bond in their undies.

    I wonder why?


    • 193
      Hugh Janus says:

      Be fair, they did show Ursula Undress during the 6 O’clock News, so it’s not all one-sided. Unfortunately the all too infrequent discomfort in my groin area is starting to subside….


  45. 156
    I says:

    It’s been hours now.

    Why the fuck is he still here?


    • 157
      Axe The Telly Tax says:

      Saving it for the Glory Tory conference ;-)


    • 158
      I says:

      Judges said their extradition “may proceed immediately”.

      A Home Office spokesman welcomed the decision and said it was “working to extradite these men as quickly as possible”.

      The BBC understands two US civilian jets – one of which is registered to the US Department of Justice – are on the tarmac at an air base in eastern England.


  46. 161
    I says:

    In a statement prepared in prison before the verdict, Mr Ahmad said that, “By exposing the fallacy of the UK’s extradition arrangements with the US, I leave with my head held high having won the moral victory.” FUCK OFF

    Mr Ahmad’s father, Ashfaq, said outside court he was appalled the British legal system had let him down “in a manner more befitting of a Third World country than one of the world’s oldest democracies”. FUCK OFF

    “We will never abandon our struggle for justice for Babar and the truth will eventually emerge of what will be forever remembered as a shameful chapter in the history of Britain,” he added. FUCK OFF

    And Emma Norton, legal officer for human rights group Liberty, said that, as Mr Ahmad’s alleged offences took place in the UK, “It beggars belief that he won’t be tried here.” FUCK OFF

    “Isn’t British justice – so admired around the world – capable of dealing with crimes committed in the UK by its own citizens?” she added. FUCK OFF


    • 169
      b345t says:

      indeed it seems that we are not capable so lets leave it to the Septics
      Subject him to Sharia and behead him on a friday , i finish mass at 7 and would be happy to oblige should a septic be unavailable for the job


    • 192
      Bacon Sandwich says:

      Had to laugh at the TV clip of Ashfaq, surrounded by men with strange beards wearing nightgowns, complaining about the UK being like the Third World!


  47. 162
    b345t says:

    Another wonderful thing that brother Hamza has to look forward to is the fact that Federal prisons only have one TV channel and its wall to wall Christianity and I also guess that The Nation of Islam gangs will have no interest in him
    23 hours a day , rubbish food, cant even turn the pages of his Quaran or wipe his own arse


    • 172
      Great British Public says:

      Piss be upon him.


    • 175
      Dr Nuts says:

      Why is Choudry still loose?
      We have the Abu apprentice reported in MSM … why?
      Freedom of Speech – what about Freedom of Movement for UK born nationals?
      Can we do a BOGOF deal with the US?
      Get Hamza and we’ll throw in Choudry for free?


      • 176
        b345t says:

        Dr Nuts I have met this bfufoon ( he was using a megaphone outside my club)
        He was moved on by an armed response unit probably for his own safety

        Watch the film “Four Lions”


  48. 174
    Dr Nuts says:

    In this Dave and age it’s just too embarrassing for the police to know you’re a Conservative MP.

    A Conservative is just about bearable, but an MP, what with the U-Turns and George’s I want to fund a cut in the tax level for the avoiders who fund the party…
    Mitchel’s call police Plebs.
    20% cut in police numbers.
    Cut Police Pensions and increase their contribution while leaving our untouched…

    Just can’t look Northern Police in the eye as a Conservative MP!
    Just hope nobody’ll notice… is there a back door in?


  49. 179
    I can't find my sunglasses says:

    So now we have it : the chairman of the Conservative Party is a Green .

    Does he go around hugging hoodies too ?


Seen Elsewhere

Why Pollsters Could Be Wrong | John McDermott
Cameron Faces Vote of No Confidence or Rebellion | FT
Cameron Faces Revolt Over ‘Vow’ | Sun
It’s Time to Speak for England | John Redwood
It Was Me Who Taped Howard Flight | John Woodcock
Indy Editor: We Will Stay Afloat | Press Gazette
English Don’t Want Scotland to Stay at Any Price | Dan Hodges
England Must Have Self-Government Too | Mark Wallace
Next Year’s Election Will Be the Dirtiest Ever | Speccie
Chicken Salmond Runs Away From Sun Cabbie | Sun
Scary No Messages Don’t Add Up | Sun

Find out more about PLMR

Gyles Brandreth writes in his memoirs:

“Sunday, May 10, 1998

Early start: appearing on Breakfast With Frost, to be broadcast from 11 Downing Street. The Chancellor [Gordon Brown] is grouchily amiable, but so earnest — and still biting his fingernails to the quick.

After the show, he took us upstairs to his flat. He lives above No 10, while Blair and family are in the No 11 duplex, which is bigger and more like a proper house.

I was intrigued that, when he took us into his bedroom, the Chancellor rather ostentatiously opened the built-in wardrobes, as if he wanted us to see the women’s frocks that were hanging in there.

They looked quite large, but I don’t think they belong to Gordon. I assume they belong to his girlfriend [Sarah Macaulay, who he later married].

I presume he was keen for us to know that he has one — and that she’s not a ‘beard’. I don’t think he does anything without calculation.”

The British media are Hunts says:

Now the SNP know how UKIP voters feel all the time.

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,456 other followers