October 2nd, 2012

Tommo’s Late Night Blonde Plot Busted

Tom Watson managed to escape his own gate-gate moment when he tried to bust a young blonde into Labour’s conference hotel without credentials late last night. Although there is is no official police control around the Midland Hotel, stewards were having none of it, not even for the Party’s Deputy Chairman. Managing to show some restraint in light of recent pleb-related outbursts, Watson was left apologising to his young friend and promptly abandoning her. At least he can’t blame how this one ended on the Murdochs…


  1. 1
    jgm2 says:

    The stewarts probably didn’t recognise him.

    Just another fat bloke trying to get a hooker into the hotel.

  2. 2
    Jim'll fiddle it says:

    How old is she?

  3. 3
    Tom Watson is a fat, slimy cunt says:

    Why would any sane woman want to be seen with Tom Watson? Unless she’s the type who gets paid by the hour?

  4. 4
    Hang The Bastards says:

    I wounder if she gave him his money back ?

  5. 5
    Tom Watson would like a date with Alizee says:

  6. 6
    Taking the middle road says:

    I thought he was going steady?

  7. 7
    it was a dark and stormy night says:

    It does not say wether the blonde was male or femail, no doubt the blonde was bussed in from brighton

  8. 8
    Aaron D Highside says:

    Probably the type who’d fancy Huhne.

  9. 9
    Fatso says:

    Someone with a death wish and wants to be crushed to death? Euurgh!

  10. 10
    Droit de Cuissage says:

    Droit de Cuissage?

  11. 11
    Jimmy Savile says:

    I was busted with a young blonde once. Fortunately the chief constable was a fellow mason and he dropped the challanges. Urrrrrrgghhhhhhh!

  12. 12
    it was a dark and stormy night says:

    Just a thought might the blonde be mossa koussa

  13. 13
    I like Tom Watson says:

    THIS Tom Watson, that is.

  14. 14
    Enoch was Right says:

    I hope he paid her.

  15. 15
    Handycock says:


  16. 16
    Tom Watson says:

    Yes. And I put it on expenses.

  17. 17
    Fatso says:

    He is minging!

  18. 18
    Tracy Temple says:

    Stop reading my diary!

  19. 19
    Jimmy Savile says:

    Urggghhhhhhh Pretty but I’ve never gone for the more mature women. If they’re GCSE age or above I don’t want to know.

  20. 20
    Going steady says:

    He is. He goes to McDonald’s 7 times a week.

  21. 21
    Religion: The Original Sin says:

    Any update from Eastleigh Crown Court?

  22. 22
    Helen Kellers dating agency says:

    Fatso was giving a refund!

  23. 23
    Labour's Rosie Cooper put chocolates and crisps on expenses says:

  24. 24
    Mike Handycock says:

    I hear you, brother.

  25. 25

    Very good point. He certainly has one of the defining characteristics of the stereotypical blonde.

  26. 26
    The General Public says:

    I am loving that people are trying to render that bizarre croaking noise that Saville used to make as a written word.

    Most attempts I’ve seen today seem to suggest someone choking on something or masturbating…… hey, WAIT A MINUTE!

  27. 27
    Lewinsky says:

    Is that a cigar Twatson is smoking?

    I sold it on eBay.

  28. 28

    What a cad!

    He should have booked a suite in the Palace Hotel and taken her there away from the attention. The £2,000 could easily be charged to expenses.

    And fancy just dumping a blind woman late at night. Not nice, is it?

  29. 29
    $ a ville says:


  30. 30
    Fred West Paving Ltd says:

    Her? Oh… that’s a surprise

  31. 31
    fruitcake says:

    did she have a labrador and a stick by chance?

  32. 32
    Religion: The Original Sin says:

    The Palace Hotel Buxton ?
    Don’t think so!

  33. 33
    Gooey Blob says:

    You can’t claim to be a one nation party on the one hand while practising class warfare on the other. Talk of toffs must now end and Miliband must rein in those on the left of his party or look weak and foolish.

    Oh, wait…

  34. 34
    A woman says:

    He abandoned her?!
    What a gent…

  35. 35
    Siobhan says:

    I paid. Well worth the try.

  36. 36
    Jimmy says:

    final warning shoe:dangler. no inexplicable pussycats on my blog. lay down your runcible spoon. it’s cuddly bunnies only. fwwwwwwwwweeeeeep!ffs.

  37. 37

    Interviewer: So Mr Miliband, are you proud of being the grandson of a mass murderer?

  38. 38
    HenryV says:

    You think David Blunket is a young blonde. Are you visually challenged yourself?

  39. 39
    Jimmy says:


  40. 40
    Tran Svestite says:

    Blond ! It was a wig.

  41. 41

    The Palace Hotel, Oxford Street, Manchester. Silly.

    I stayed there 27 years ago without a blonde.

  42. 42
    Esther Wants-some says:

    When will these little balding men realise they can view but not touch the goods.

  43. 43

    He’s all yours Jimmy. Real or fake. Either of you.

  44. 44
    PS says:

    Trans can’t spell, nor Blondes

  45. 45
    Nob Jockey says:

    Did he try to smuggle Willie Hague in?

  46. 46
    Jimmy says:

    i do the minging around here… i’m intensely relaxed about it. woof!

  47. 47
    Fatty Holly MP says:

    It’s all part of my devilishly brilliant plan to return Labour to Government and, dare I dream, me as Deputy PM. I have to be seen as “a regular bloke,” not some fat mong who sits around and plays xBox all the time whilst wolfing down crisps and drinking beer, an image admittedly not without some small justification, but I digress– if I am seen as “Tommy the Lad,” a karaoke-singer and DJ at functions where people are having way too much fun, I will shed my Seth Rogan I’m-a-fat-idiot-blundering-through-life image and be seen more in the he’s-lots-of-fun-to-be-around light. Hooking up with a ditzy bird (and read into that what you will, you polluted-mind degenerates!) does nothing to dispel my public image as a flagrant heterosexual, albeit getting a bit long in the tooth in my late forties to engage in too many late night romps:”Tom got busted with a young gal!”/”Good on him, way to go, kid, didn’t think you had it in ya!” At least this is the way my devoted bloggers and re-Tweeters will play it, don’t you know?

  48. 48
    Jimmy Sav Ill says:

    You had your chances

  49. 49
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Few families in Britain fought for The Red Army, and fewer still had Stalinist apologists hidden in the attic.

  50. 50
    A Pleb says:

    How much does she charge,you’ld want plenty to perform for that fat twat.

  51. 51
    Anonymous says:


    perhaps she had read this modest piece – and actually believed it

  52. 52
    All Socialists are hypocrites(and now they're patronising b*st*rds as well says:

    “One nation Labour !” …RFLMAO…I went to a COMPREHENSIVE School dont ya know ? So what ? So did 80% of the rest of us !! AND I come from a WORKING class background Mr Miliband ….my father and grandfather were Miners …..which is more than YOU did…but I still think you’re talking total and utter “Shite!”

    This is one of the most divisive political parties in the history of British Politics….they have made an art of class envy and stifling aspiration in the working classes with everyone being dumbed down to the lowest level…. I was fortunate to go to Grammar school and on to University but that was in the 60’s and social aspiration has been killed stone dead now….and THAT Mr Miliband is a result of 13 years of LABOUR educational policy…..and let’s not forget that LABOUR is solely responsible for the mess that the country is in and for the CUTS not the Coalition

  53. 53
    the stench of hypocrisy says:

    I went to a comp.
    But unlike Milliband I didn’t live in a mansion in a posh part of London,go to Oxford Uni, the LSE or spend a sabattical at Harvard. Nor was I able to use Daddy’s contacts to work in TV or for the Labour party.
    His pathetic attempts to appear as a man of the people just show him up as the wanker we all know he is.

  54. 54
    Anonymous says:

    Scraping the bottom of the barrel, Greedo.

    Looks like it was actually a good day for NuLab.

    Time for Hatty Hatemenperson to remind everyone that NuLab is really a party for femnazis, perverts, and foreigners.

  55. 55
    Anonymous says:

    He’s a tit x 2?

  56. 56
    bucknell says:


  57. 57
    Religion: The Original Sin says:

    3 brunettes?

    Last time went to the Palace Hotel Buxton was to tell a Manager she was fired.
    She was so thick ( not blonde) she didn’t realise what I was saying and said she’d enjoyed the lunch. Those were the days. Hire Monday sack Tuesday.

  58. 58
    V1le Labour ruined my Country says:

    His usual rentboys will be most upset.

  59. 59
    V1le Labour ruined my Country says:

    You mean 7 times a day surely?

  60. 60
    red light says:

    £5.20 for a grope around his minibar.

  61. 61
    aboriginal says:

    That’ll go down well with the indigenous immigrant population.

  62. 62
    Spoil Sport says:

    Only a pleb would stop a fat middle aged man getting his leg over with a young blonde girl (I hope it was a girl).

  63. 63
    Pentangelis says:

    What is far more interesting is who was this blonde and what was this fat, ugly disingenuous slob doing with her anyway?

  64. 64
    a lucky escape says:

    “Managing to show some restraint in light of recent pleb-related outbursts, Watson was left apologising to his young friend and promptly abandoning her.”

    If he was a real gentleman he would have taken her for a tour of Manchester’s skips.

  65. 65
    THE Young Blonde says:

  66. 66
    Gooey Blob says:

    I went to a comprehensive, but I don’t care for hypocrites who practice class warfare one day and then try to claim to be a “one nation” party the next.

  67. 67
    The Sickening Bunch Who Were NuLiebour says:

    Surely that was some form of abuse on Watson’s part as she must be blind.

  68. 68
    Gooey Blob says:

    Growing steadily?

  69. 69

    Eds speech writing notes found crumpled in the bin in the hotel room.

    Look guys! I want 46 ways of saying I have a vision for the country ok? 46 new power slogans and buzz words , Ok?

    So what have you got?

    One Nation
    ONE! nation
    Won nation.
    1 nation,
    Nation one,
    whun nation.
    one nashion,
    Huan nation,
    one nation
    one space station.
    sun nation,
    spun nation,
    run nation,
    bun nation.
    One station.
    One stop shop.
    one 4 all.
    All 4 one.
    one One idea.
    All bar one nation
    Nation Statham
    One nasturtium
    Elation nation
    flirtation One??
    One nasal son
    One vocation
    One neighhhhsion!
    nation of one.
    Fun nation!
    Thracian nation.
    gun nation.
    overdone nation
    one matron?

    - Boss…couldn’t you just say ONE NATION 46 times?
    – yeah..why not? Who’s going to notice?

  70. 70
    Yvonne from the Colliers Arms Clydach says:

    This is absolutely disgusting .

    Manchester has a bad enough reputation without this .

    Labour should be banned from the city centre .

  71. 71
    A patrician called Andrew says:

    Manchester is a city full of plebs

  72. 72
    Religion: The Original Sin says:

    Yang Sing Menu
    Won ton nation £3.65

  73. 73
    Qeen says:

    One vision.

  74. 74
    chutney says:

    is there a fetish that involves squeezing blackheads on fat blokes backs?

  75. 75
    Religion: The Original Sin says:

    Careful Yvonne, they might descend on Clydach

  76. 76
    Aunty Matter says:

    I was highly impressed with Harriet Harman applauding wildly when Ed Miliband told us he was proud to have gone to a Comprehensive school, after all so did Hattie…..oh hang on no she went to one of the top private school for ‘gels’ in the Country.

    But never mind Harriet sent her own children to bog standard comps……oh hang on no she sent them to those Tory bastard Grammar schools in Kent.

    Perhaps she was applauding herself for being a mong?

  77. 77
    Toenails is a cnut says:

    Fuck me I’ve just listened to the biggest heap of biased shite I’ve heard from the BBC News at 6 and that’s saying something.

    Toenails just filled in the gaps between adulatory coverage of Miliband’s speech with Labour talking points (eg an irrelevent reference to Andrew Mitchell’s “pleb” comment) then rounded off with the comment “Game on” referring to Ed’s supposed image turn around since last year.

  78. 78
    annette curton says:

    A triumph of delusion over reality as usual.

  79. 79
    Hungerford says:

    George Monbiot would be writing his musings in his own shit on a cave wall if it wasn’t for capitalism

  80. 80
    grammar school boy says:

    practise with an “s”.

  81. 81
    John Johnson says:

    Tomo would probably squash her

  82. 82
    Aunty Matter says:

    This is a hoot. Perhaps Ed is frightened to be seen out with someone who looks like a 10 year old boy?


    He likes dressing up so perhaps he should take her out when he’s got a blonde wig a cigar and tinted glasses on?

  83. 83
    Harriet ( where have we heard this before ) Harman says:

    I was supporting our Leader.

  84. 84

    I wish you could be more discreet. I have a reputation to live down to.

  85. 85
    Where are Werritty's business cards now says:

    These Socialists are all in this together hand in hand with the Bankers .

    The Banks managed to give Vaz 7 or 8 mortgages with total monthly repayments in excess of his salary .

    With thinking like this is it any surprise the Banks went bust ?

    And when they went bust who conned the taxpayer into bailing them out ?

    The Socialists did it.

    The sooner the people of the UK follow the Greeks and take to the streets the better .

  86. 86

    Ah! But we welcome anyone with open arms (the things on the side of your shoulders, not the other type.)

  87. 87
    Ed Mililband says:

    She does anal and he was bringing her in for me.

    When I am PM you lot will terminated.

  88. 88
    Jon Dunn-Juan says:

    The clock is ticking
    And hubris has time
    To run the course
    Of your view of self.

    Hear the chimes,
    They start………

  89. 89

    Any news on what transpired at Huhne trial today?

    *only facts on progress – not opinion please*

  90. 90
    annette curton says:

    The only person that can answer that one is Silent Bob.

  91. 91
    Baron Hogwash says:

    He is trying to go steady but keeps wobbling sideways.

  92. 92
    gramma says:

    This scoop has all the characteristics of a put up job Guido.
    I would imagine it has been orchestrated by Watson himself to allay the public’s fears that he is yet another raving iron and quash the doubts circulating about his heterosexuality or the lack of it.
    It takes all types they tell me. I hope at least he gave the palomino truck fare back to the farm.

  93. 93

    There is only opinion and it is divided. He says he’s innocent, everyone else says he’s guilty.

  94. 94
    Blonde Slapper says:

    Sleezy fat Hunt wanted it for nothing.

  95. 95
    Aunty Matter says:

    Just as Hattie applauded the one eyed mong when he waffled on about the Iraq war being wrong and the OTHER Miliband had to lean over and say “why the fuck are you applauding, YOU voted for the war”

  96. 96
    annette curton says:

    I think he is guilty until he has passed over a large wad of cash.

  97. 97
    Aunty Matter says:

    I hear that during conference week the local prozzie’s offer half price.

  98. 98

    The delegates looked happy after Ed’s speech:


  99. 99
    snoadley says:

    Don’t worry about that SC you do that every day, and funnily enough you don’t disappoint.

  100. 100
    Blonde Slapper says:

    Did I say Hunt sorry about my spelling. It should have been cnut.

  101. 101
    Aunty Matter says:

    Never going to happen, the X-Factor is on.

  102. 102
    Sir William Waad says:

    If the ‘blonde’ were male, would beva BLOND.

  103. 103

    I told myself I had a headache.

  104. 104
    Anonymous says:

    Yuk, a socialist.

  105. 105
    Dr Nuts says:

    The constant demand to be noticed?!

  106. 106
    The Paragnostic says:

    Could be either – given that Dead Ed’s not much good at anything, perhaps he needs to practice.

  107. 107
    ToonBob... says:

    I suspect he ended up having a ham shank !!

  108. 108
    100,000 lawyers says:

    We don’t give a Jonathan Ross either way as long as the ackers keep rolling in.

  109. 109
    The Paragnostic says:

    He probably picked her up on Minshull Street, where the £20 crack whores hang out.

    Tis but a stroll to the Midland from there.

  110. 110
    annette curton says:

    No Celebrities turned up then this time. not even wonderwall Noel Gallagher, Alan Sugar or buster bloodvessel 4 minutes time added on Ferguson?.

  111. 111
    The Paragnostic says:

    Was it just me who was half-expecting Ed Balls to finish the event with a rendition of “Tomorrow Belongs To Me”?

  112. 112
    Wayne Rooney says:

    As Benny Hill once said: “Give me an older woman every time; they don’t yell, they don’t tell, and they’re grateful as hell!”

    (Didn’t seem to take his own advice much by the looks of it, though…)

  113. 113
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Ed Miliband’s speech was pure shite. It took the media by surprise that Miliband could actually speak for so long. But Miliband, according to wee Dougie Alexander, had been working on the speech for months. I think in the cold light of day the media will question just what was it that Miliband said. Let me tell the media now, nothing at all. All Miliband did was to plagerise bits of other peoples speeches.
    There was no substance and no policy, just words from plastic Ed.

  114. 114
    The Paragnostic says:

    I saw that lefty tranny ‘comedian’ in the audience – can’t remember the twat’s name…

    Oh, that’s it – Eddie Izzard. As funny as an ingrowing toenail.

  115. 115
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Was that so called comedian cross dresser there?Eddie Lizzard, Lthink is his name.

  116. 116
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Thought transfer from The Paragnostic?

  117. 117
    Saville row says:

    Now then, now then!

  118. 118
    Shirley Temple says:

    On the good ship lollypop!

  119. 119
    Goofy says:

    Can’t teach an old dog new tricks!

  120. 120
    President Hollande says:

    He can fuck off.. me first!

  121. 121
    Head doorman Midland hotel says:

    Wasn’t too steady on his feet when we nicked him trying to get the slapper in!

  122. 122
    Anonymous says:

    No one gives a toss where Milliband went to school.
    The one and only thing people remember about him is that he stabbed his brother in the back.

  123. 123
    Head doorman Midland hotel says:

    Is that a mate of Chuka’s?

  124. 124
    Anonymous says:

    That dopey bint that Prescott was shagging would know.

  125. 125
    Anonymous says:

    Few families had a dad called Adolphe.

  126. 126
    Head doorman Palace hotel says:

    Happy days!

  127. 127
  128. 128
    just asking says:

    Is David Milliband at the conference and did he applaud the speech?

  129. 129
    Tom Catesby says:

    That’s no way to talk about Lord Longford’s niece!

  130. 130

    But not, regrettably, treatable by antibiotics.

  131. 131
    Tom Catesby says:

    He was going to discuss the finer points of Ed Ball’s economic recovery policy

  132. 132
    Tom Catesby says:

    £20! It must be some time since you were down there last!

  133. 133

    Snoadley? What a wonderfully Dickensian sounding name. And what do you do for a living, Snoadley?

  134. 134
    That's no way to speak about Lord Longford's niece says:

    See Above!

  135. 135
    Head doorman Midland hotel says:

    Ed Balls not taken Yvette on a date in ten years,Did she get tired of waiting, she’s blonde, Watsons got some explaining to do!

  136. 136
    well chuffed says:

    Job done , story about a young girl in the press , oh dear it’s all gone pear shaped , then he can go back to his rent boys. You can’t trust Tw@son an inch

  137. 137

    Noel Gallagher – wanker. His hero, George Harrison, was not so keen on the taxman:

  138. 138
    public school boy says:

    “s” is for “suck me off”

  139. 139
    Hammer Hotel of Horror says:

    We knew Liebor were almost bunkrapt. Now we know where the money goes.

  140. 140
    Jimmy Sirvile says:

    Ready, Steady, Go !

  141. 141
    Monty says:

    A few tons of them might just about do the job.

  142. 142
    Baron Hogwash says:

    So who was the bird that Tom was trying to smuggle in?

  143. 143
    Diane Fatbutt says:

    They thought that a pizza had been delivered – on someone’s face.

  144. 144
    Ed (i'm not my brothers seat warmer) REALLYBLAND says:

    Did he claim her on expenses ?

  145. 145
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    Most decent hotels have someone hovering about the foyer to either:

    1. Stop hookers coming in and hanging around the bar and touting for business.

    2. Stop middle aged blokes who are away from their wives bringing hookers back to the hotel.

    It appears we are dealing with situation 2 here – it is also worth noting that the bloke is invariably middle-aged, fat and drunk. You may think this describes Tom Watson but I couldn’t possibly comment

  146. 146
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    Actually earnest left-wingers like Ed can bang on for hours without pausing for breath. No one – including fellow lefties – listens for more than 30 seconds.

  147. 147
    Graham says:

    Tom Saville Watson ??

  148. 148
    Mrsshitrit says:

    Did Watson sell any of his books btw?

  149. 149
    Markie says:

    Sure it wasn’t a chick-with-a-dick ?

  150. 150
    ToonBob... says:

    Anything new on the ‘working girl’ who plummeted to her death in n0n-suspicious circumstances?

  151. 151
    Ash Ken the Question says:

    Oh *that* has to be the best comment I’ve read all week!!!!!

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