October 1st, 2012

Two-Faced Chuka Chokes Up Over Shameful Past

Chuka’s speech to the Labour conference hall today was notably understated. While Ed Balls strayed into leader’s speech territory, it’s no coincidence that the ambitious shadow business secretary kept things low-key. The lobby saw straight through him:

Much more interesting than Chuka’s speech was his little chat with the Channel 4 team last night. Putting on his caring, emotional face, Chuka admitted:

“The people who work for me, as far as I’m concerned, are underpaid, they work 24/7 for the Labour party and because they are deemed to be an expense they are not paid what they deserve for serving my community or serving us nationally as a party. I think it is outrageous. I’m ashamed of what we pay the people who work for us.”

That hasn’t stopped him from advertising for unpaid “volunteers” not once, not twice, but three times. His two-faced hypocrisy knows no bounds. Which Chuka will we see tomorrow?


  1. 1
  2. 2
    lolathebeautiful says:

    What a fucking ignorant remark. All employees are an expense you utter fucking twat…

  3. 3
    Jimmy says:

    Is it my imagination or have these attack pieces got worse since Shapps took over?

  4. 4
    Plato says:

    …and I suspect they don’t work 24/7 every week?

  5. 5
    Osric Testacles says:

    Your third rate dribble has just become fourth rate since the start of your masters conference Jimmy.

  6. 6
    Anonymous says:

    Is it my imagination or is it Chuka’s solution simply to spend more? We know where that got us?

  7. 7
    Saw thru him straight away says:


  8. 8
    Red Ed says:

    Working for the party isn’t working, it is a pleasure, joy should resound across the land as the people night and day strive for their glorious people’s republic.

  9. 9
    jgm2 says:


    I’d just like inform y’all about the great flight deal I just got with Air France. Paris – Saint Martin and back to Paris from Guadeloupe for 480 quid return. In December.

    Cheapest direct flights to Antigua on same dates with BA = 1001 quid.

    Airline tax. Naaah, it doesn’t harm the UK aviation industry at all. Nope.

  10. 10
    Jimmy says:

    Are those the only options?

  11. 11
    MC Chucky says:

    Yo motherfuckaz! I be a future PM, yo! Suck my ballz!

  12. 12
    Jimmy says:

    Well this government does want to keep air traffic volume down.

  13. 13
    Meanwhile, Oleagenous Dave, the Slippery TURF of Downing St. says:

    I’m pretty sure I convinced Boris to back me.

  14. 14
    freddy the farting fish says:

    To be fair there might well be people that have a few quid saved up that will take an unpaid job for the experience / education.

  15. 15
    Lord Stansted says:


  16. 16
    Stop posting for just one second says:

    Die, B1lly.

  17. 17
    Anonymous says:

    “The people who work for me, as far as I’m concerned, are underpaid…I’m ashamed of what we pay the people who work for us.”

    What else is he suggesting, apart from spending more?

  18. 18
    The BBC Fanzine 24 Hour News Channel says:

    When you realise that the whole of the Labour Shadow Cabinet is peopled by a load of hypocritical c**ts it becomes a lot easier to appreciate their rhetoric……

  19. 19
    Spinning Nadine says:

    Mad Nad is on her way to Birmingham.


  20. 20
    Popeye says:

    Tomorrow, you’ll see the same slimy Socialist as you see today of course.

  21. 21
    V1le Labour ruined my Country says:

    It won’t be long until Chukka Uppees strange bank account transactions are revealed. Oily Vaz is the tip of the iceberg.

  22. 22
    annette curton says:

    Candidates must be able to fail the CRB checks.

  23. 23
    David B says:

    He could always top up their salary from his own pocket. He is a millionaire after all.da

  24. 24
    freddy the farting fish says:

    That doesn’t mean I don’t think looks like an untrustworthy c*unt, I’m just saying

  25. 25
    Abu Hamburger says:

    I’m still here.

  26. 26
    Chuka Umunna says:

    Keep your clever fucking ideas to yourself, mate.

  27. 27
    annette curton says:

    Predistribution is still at the draught stage.

  28. 28
    jgm2 says:

    All it does it move the air traffic ‘off shore’.

    Like 50% tax.

  29. 29
    Lefty Fucktard says:


    Chukka is the British Obama. Anyone who says he is just an empty-expensive-suit chancer playing on his skin colour is utterly wrong. And Racist. And probably homophobic too.

    Apparently he likes that ‘Garage’ music, the cool young people will love that.

    You evil Tories just don’t get ‘it’, do you?

  30. 30
    jgm2 says:

    For Labour?

    Are you kidding?

  31. 31
    David Camoron says:

    Tax avoider! You’ve deprived me of about £521, which I could have given away to India. So not only are you an immoral tax avoiding bastard, you’re delaying India’s space programme leaving little children to starve.

    Re-book your tickets immediately. You heartless bastard.

  32. 32
    Ctesibius says:

    And what, pray Chukka, is ‘my community’. Is your community my community? And before you answer that bear in mind that you have no idea what colour my skin is.

    Or are we all part of one community.

  33. 33
    Bent-Shilling and Smythe says:

    Hold the profits warning.

  34. 34
    JH says:

    How the fuck do these non-entity lefties such as Ralph Miliband and now Chukky wind up making all this money?

    On an MP’s salary?

    Just what value are they offering to the people handing them these sums?

    It fascinates me.

  35. 35
    lolathebeautiful says:

    I do so love unintentional irony.

  36. 36

    LieBore doesn’t work at all – but watch the Bitching Bullshit Corporation big up them at their conference.

    Two onanistic organisations without a tissue between them

  37. 37
    Money Box says:

  38. 38
    Mister McGoo says:

    Chuka Obama!

  39. 39
    freddy the farting fish says:

    600 quids worth of condescension, I suppose it is worth it ?

  40. 40
    Wavey Davey Camoron (one-term PM) says:

    Tax avoider! You’ve deprived me of about £521, which I could have given away to India. So not only are you an immoral tax avoiding bastard, you’re delaying India’s space programme leaving little children to starve.

    Re-book your tickets immediately. You heartless heartless bastard.

  41. 41

    No – refusing to believe a single word those two Brownite, lying sacks of shit say is the other – and is the one any sensible person would take.

    If you can’t bring yourself to vote Tory – abstain. Voting LieBore is just turkeys voting for Christmas.

  42. 42
    Mister McGoo says:

    The Labour Party – the party of the working man now lead my MPs who have never worked in their lives and earn many times the average working wage!!!

  43. 43
    freddy the farting Phrenologist fish says:


  44. 44
    Brit says:

    He sounds like a foreigner to me. You can always tell.

  45. 45

    I think you’ll find my blog colleague Mike Handycock gets “it” more than most, actually.

  46. 46
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Of course, the additional payroll for the supplemental income he’d pay them would be handled through a bank account in Jersey– I trust.
    Chuka Umunna, Shadow Secretary for (giving us the) Business…

  47. 47
    annette curton says:

    It was meant to mean they don’t like to give access into the den of thieves to potential troublemakers/whistle blowers or others that might expect an unacceptably high standard of moral rectitude.

  48. 48
    freddy the farting fish fascinated by Phrenology says:

  49. 49

    And I know Mithter Ballthup ith wight behind me!! – I know that for thure, becauth hith hand ith right up my arth working my mouth in time to the Union witten thpeech.

  50. 50
    Parliament's Bumper Book of Buzzword Bollocks says:

    Every paragraph must contain at least one instance of the word “Community”, “Experience”, “Journey”, “Space” and “Challenge”, ie “We embrace the challenge of improving the Community Experience on our Journey to a better Community space.”

  51. 51
    Lizzie says:

    Didn’t anybody bother to ask him why, given his views, he didn’t just pay them more?

  52. 52
    jgm2 says:

    Through a mechanism that is no longer available I have procured a Platinum Frequent Flyer card with AF. This means I shall be suffering extreme condescension for several hours before my flight in the fat-bastard lounge attempting a world record for the amount of free champagne I can pour into myself.

    This record attempt will then relocate to the plane where, on arrival in St Martin, I expect to be carried off the aircraft on my shield.

    With the money we have saved by not flying BA I shall then charter a yacht and sail to Guadeloupe stopping only to top up on booze in St Barths and St Kitts and Nevis.

    It’ll be hell. But somebody has to do it.

  53. 53
    freddy the farting fish fascinated by Phrenology says:

    surely in this swamp of self interest there remains true Englishmen who will see to it that these nodogooders will fail ?

  54. 54
    annette curton says:

    To seek out new life forms and go where no community has gone before, to infinity and beyond!.

  55. 55
    taC eht abbaJ says:

    “How the fuck do these non-entity lefties such as Ralph Miliband and now Chukky wind up making all this money?”

    Just ask Oily Vaz, who is just about ready to pass the torch to the next generation of self enriching socialist scum…

  56. 56
    Bolsover Beastie says:

    Because everyone knows he is just an ordinary hypocritical champagne socialist toddler, Your Majesty.

  57. 57
    freddy the farting fish fascinated by Phrenology says:

    this’ll cheer you up

  58. 58
    Battsby says:

    Labour? Not good with money? Who knew?

  59. 59
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Oh the life on the ocean wave is the only life for me.

  60. 60
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Sorry Dave but Ryanair do not fly to Guadeloupe

  61. 61
    Charm Offensive says:

    Like Slick Willy Clinton & Tony Blair, Millionaire – Chukaboots realises that you can tell anyone what they want to hear & as long as you flatter to deceive – they will believe anything you say or allude to. That is: there are more fools who vote than fools to vote for.

  62. 62
  63. 63
    Pubic Air says:

    …but they do have a bus from Miami.

  64. 64
    Sungei Patani says:

    I think you will find it was intentional.

    A cool young person has just as many votes as a warm old one, but is less likely to use it.

  65. 65
    HenryV says:

    Unpaid servants = slaves?

  66. 66
    fendel says:

    Total Chukwit!

  67. 67

    There hasn’t been a new Hansard Late for a while… http://www.martian.fm/hansardv107.htm

  68. 68
    John Collier says:

    This double image of Umbongo that keeps appearing here is just too much-this is the third time this week that I’ve suffered a sudden attack of projectile vomiting.

  69. 69
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Classical economic theory and Chuka agree that labour is an expense. He won’t be applying that policy when he’s back in charge of spending taxpayer’s money though.

  70. 70
    The. Savant says:

    Which Chuka. Will. We. See tomorrow??

    How s. about. Chuk. Us. Ya. Granny.

    Especially if she fancies. spot of volunteering in her dotage

  71. 71
    scumwatcher says:

    Chuka was openly gay at school and always went for younger boys. Wonder if he preys on his young “volunteers” now

  72. 72
    Old Blue Eyes says:

    No, just 24th July.

  73. 73
    Old Blue Eyes says:

    He’s not called Chuckus Yourmoney for nothing.

  74. 74
    Old Blue Eyes says:

    I for one would dearly love him to become leader of the Labour party. But then, I for one would dearly love to see the annihilation of the Labour party.

  75. 75
    jrewing says:

    does he buy his expensibe suits on “saville” row?

  76. 76
    Old Blue Eyes says:

    The Labour party have not been the party of the working man for years. More the party of the non working man. The idle, benefit spongers who have no intention to look for work and who bring up a houseful of kids to follow in fathers footsteps. Any working man who votes for them is barmy.

  77. 77
    blub says:

    you don’t want to devileyes him imo, didn’t work last time, won’t work this

    you wanna exaggerate the shiny-cyborg-built-in-a-focus-group-lab-ness

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