October 1st, 2012

Justine’s X-Rated Ed Rant
Daily Star Sunday Column Now Online

If you had picked up your Daily Star Sunday yesterday you would already know all about Ed’s x-rated argument with his wife Justine:

“It has happened to us all – you’re about to leave home for an important appointment and you can’t find your bits and bobs. Midweek, Guido was told Ed Miliband “came into my opticians wanting new contact lenses in a hurry. Couldn’t wait. His wife was swearing at him ‘They’re your lenses. You f**king lost them’. He was well flustered”. If you had a big speech to read from an autocue, you would be too.”

Elsewhere you can read all about the latest on Labour’s three red princes, Harriet Harman’s take on Fifty Shades of Grey and which fraternal figure will be leaving Manchester early. Yesterday’s column is now online here.


  1. 1
    curious says:

    can’t see what he’s getting at….so whats new?

  2. 2
    captain Pedalo says:

    He deserves a medal for marrying her .

  3. 3
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’m not leaving early. I’m there to bring them my special brand of good luck. I am the father of the party. They love me. And I, in return, love them. I was the single greatest prime minister this country’s ever had.

  4. 4
    barf says:

    Rather not have lens in when choosing to shag that

  5. 5
    MB. says:

    And wearing glasses to read the speech would make him look even more of a Geek?

  6. 6
    Britain the ruined country. says:

    Thanks to the wall to wall coverage by the bbc of the new Messiah aka Ed Milliband I have studied him closely. He is definately spawn of Brown, witness the disconnect when he is supposed to be being “one of the protelariat” the faux averting of the eyes whilst saying how normal he is, the inappropriate lifting of the mouth in a faux smile, very reminiscent of McBrown and his gurning.

    This without commenting on his proposed policies for Britain – ’cause he hasn’t any.

  7. 7
    The current UK No1 says:

    E’s are good.

  8. 8
    Well it's a thought says:

    All I can think of is, who gives a fck, have to go out and earn more fkin money to pay taxes to keep these fkin shysters in the expensive clothing and houses and food they’ve become accustomed too, who’s paying for these tossers for the next few days, I suppose us the people, oy vey,

  9. 9
    jgm2 says:

    Oh he has them (policies) all right. He just dare not tell us what they are.

    Because if he did then he’d be spending all his time defending his policies rather than giving it ‘Don’t do that’, ‘That’s not right’, ‘We wouldn’t do that…’ etc etc from the cheap seats.

  10. 10
    jgm2 says:

    Another Blair Witch in the making.

    No wonder he was so reluctant to marry her.

  11. 11
    Watching the watchers says:

    Where’s Malcolm Tucker when you need him ???

  12. 12
    Well it's a thought says:

    The braindead are still waiting to vote for him, after all he will shower money and shiny things over them.

  13. 13
    Religion: The Original Sin says:


    What would Dave have done?

  14. 14
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Ed’s wife makes a spectacle of herself.

  15. 15

    Or even wake up next to it.

  16. 16
    Andrew Mitchell says:

    I like his wife’s style.

    If she rides a bike I must take her through the main gates to 10 Downing Street.

  17. 17
    Sir William Waad says:

    Daft old Eric Hobsbawm has at last gone to meet Marx. R.I.P, but the fellow absolutely typefied the garbled, magical thinking of so many British intellectuals in his day.

  18. 18
    MB. says:

    But he went to a compehensive school (as they keep telling us repeatedly) so he must be “one of us”. The fact he went to Corpus Christi College in Oxford and seems to have never done a day’s normal work in his life is irrelevant.

  19. 19
    Andrew Mitchell says:

    Shut up, plebs, and bring me my coffee.

  20. 20
    Foul Mouth says:

    Why do the political elite think it acceptable to swear in public?

    It’s high time that they were prosecuted.

  21. 21
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Give it up, Eddie my lad. We KNOW you need specs– there’s pictures of you in your younger days wearing them. You couldn’t look any nerdier wearing them now, and perhaps, with the right frames, even less so– a touch of mature “gravitas,” maybe? But no, it’s vanity of vanities, all is vanity with you, yeah?


    (And that goes for Diver Ed B, too.)

  22. 22
    jgm2 says:

    He went to a comprehensive but he was being hot-housed at home to be a bedwetter politician from the get-go. Masquerading as working class while hob-nobbing with daddies bedwetter accomplices.

    Kidding on he was working class’ and being inserted (like his idiot brother) into a scheme for the ‘poor’ and ‘disadvantaged’ of London to be given a leg-up into Oxford. A scheme that you can be sure the poor and disadvantaged knew fuck all about. It will have been stuffed with the children of middle-class parents who were ‘in the know’.

  23. 23
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Cue for solemn music – and three days of national mourning.


    Hobsbawn has died, pity that his brain ceased to function many years ago, as he only saw the case for Socialism regardless of its huge failings.

  24. 24
    Shotgun Wedding says:

    Poor sod he only married her as a career move and that career is going nowhere.

  25. 25

    Only plebs wear glasses.

    Andrew Mitchell wears a monocle.

  26. 26
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Sad to see that such a clever man consistently drew wrong headed conclusions for so long. He must have loved life since 1989.


  27. 27

    Is that a complicated euphemism?

  28. 28
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Why does he need lenses or glasses, there is nothing to see from labour.

  29. 29

    Ed Balls had a bit of a rough ride on radio 5.
    Trouble in Beeb land? Someone not paid their bill?

  30. 30
    Ed Balls, Seen Elsewhere, says:

    “I’m taking a dive, dive, dive, dive…”

    It’s a football game– it’s a terrible thing to lose…

  31. 31
    Rupert my Hero says:

    Some first Lady she will make….

  32. 32
    jgm2 says:

    If he was so ‘clever’ how come he was so wrong for so long?

  33. 33
    jgm2 says:

    Surely that’s Rees-Mogg. Mitchell wears night vision goggles.

    Labour all wear welding goggles. It’s the only way they can avoid seeing that they fucked up the UK economy.

  34. 34
    beast says:

    He needs to go to spacksavers

  35. 35
    genghiz the kahn says:

    He was another useful idiot.

    He really must have enjoyed watching Socialism’s packs of cards falling down from 1989. The torment must have been immense.

    The obits pages should be fun.

  36. 36
    sam cam says:

    I wear beer goggles

  37. 37
    sam cam says:

    Tell me about it.

  38. 38
    Freddie Fraudster says:

    If I was him I would leave the lenses out. Looking own form the platform the massed ranks of bruvvers and sisters will look infinitely better that way

  39. 39
    sam cam says:

    Who needs Malcolm – we’ve got Moshe Schappstein.

  40. 40
    Freddie Fraudster says:

    Or Party Savers

  41. 41
    Freddie Fraudster says:

    We always knew that she had more balls than he did

  42. 42
    sam cam says:

    I prefer a back door job.

  43. 43
    A woman says:

    He’s hardly a catch..

  44. 44
    do me a favour says:

    Labour are on to yet another loser with this ridiculous attempt to portray Millibandwagon as a man of the people. He’s completely unlike anyone I was at comp with.

  45. 45
    A eunuch says:

    I’ve got more balls than he has.

  46. 46

    I welcome his type. They will never be there in huge numbers but their academic discipline forces us to lift our game.

  47. 47
    Ed Milishambles says:

    I can’t theee

Seen Elsewhere

Users of Gay Hook-Up App Grindr Infected | TechnoGuido
ISIS Raising Funds Online Using Bitcoin | TechnoGuido
UKIP’s Youth Challenge | BBC
ISIS Operative: This Is How We Send Jihadis To Europe | BuzzFeed
Shapps Defends Bashir Defection | Seb Payne
Tory Leadership Contenders Jostle Over Europe | Alex Wickham
Cutting Taxes is Good For You | Art Laffer
Suspects Will Now Have to Prove Innocence | Laura Perrins
Labour Cllr: Cops Shouldn’t Stop Petrol Thieves | HandF Forum
Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath

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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

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