September 29th, 2012

Shapps Launches Poster Attack on Ed Miliband & Ed Balls

Shapps’ CCHQ goes negative. Expect two more years of this…


487 Comments

  1. 1
    • 23
      V1le Labour ruined my Country says:

      Labour couldn’t run a whelk stall, they’ve proved this by ruining the Country every time they’re in power. They should be forced to carry insurance to bail us out.

      Like

      • 49
        The Tulchan Stratocaster says:

        Exactly. People like Balls should be charged with conspiracy to defraud and perhaps even treason.

        The idea that he deserves another go is like saying Captain Schettino should get to command another cruise liner.

        Like

      • 196
        ritain the ruined country. says:

        Britain – the country Labour (never done an honest day of work in their life) ruined.

        Like

        • 282
          Anonymous says:

          what next?

          Like

          • Archer Karcher says:

            Meanwhile, the Tories are busily trying to finish the job Labour started.

            Osborne wants to finally kill the economy entirely by introducing a carbon tax that will double energy bills and kill anything that uses energy to produce anything.

            The lunatics are truly in charge of the asylum and they all suffer from terminal idiocy.

            Like

          • Lord Snooty says:

            Osborne knows he will lose the next election.

            He is just trying to make sure that his pals get a chance to buy land and property at knock down prices.

            Fill your boots chaps. You will not get another chance for years.

            Like

    • 28
      • 133
        AC1 says:

        But it is working. Big government never works.

        Like

      • 134
        AC1 says:

        As usual Steve Bell is
        a) shit.
        b) wrong.

        At least Guido’s cartoonists are merely shit.

        Like

        • 183
          SaltPetre says:

          Steve Bell-end is one of the worst of the left…he ALWAYS believes he is right and ALWAYS believes the conservatives are wrong. He is like a fundamentalist jihadist.

          Like

        • 186
          Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

          What a grade one pillock you are. We may disagree with Bell (and I do) but mistaking a dislike for his politics with a view of his ability as a cartoonist is the mark of a truly meagre intellect.

          Like

      • 197
        Blowing Whistles says:

        See the Andrew Pierce piece of twisted Ohmo rhetoric in the D Mail today …

        Pierce hangs himself in the last paragraph. His views & opinions asserted as if they were fact!

        Like

      • 342
        Che says:

        Hasn’t Bell grown up yet?

        Like

    • 48
      Taxfodder says:

      However old Ed is not entirely alone in Westminster when it comes to cocking a deaf one is he?

      Wavey Davey and Long Nose Nick with assorted usual suspects are not exactly winning that many points for observation either.

      The true dullards are of course the morons that continue to support these gormless articles in the vain hope others will be as gullible as they are……you have to laugh.

      Like

    • 61
      Sir William Waad says:

      ……whereas Gideon will only increase borrowing by £3,199.99 per person. Heigh-ho.

      Like

    • 73
      Welsh Windbag Watch says:

      Don’t hear much on this blog from The Paragnostic these days. Is he back in rehab ?

      Like

      • 122
        Your Friendly Neighbourhood Just-As-Guilty Habitual Poster Monitoring Service says:

        Unlike a certain security guard with too much time on his hands who plugs his own blog, and an expat in some Yugoslavian country with abstruseness as his stock-in-trade, and a professional Labour troll who can never resist, and a conspiracy theory loonie-tune who also HEARS “dog whistles,” and the usual assortment of smarty-pants takers of the piss (one of whom at least admits it in his handle), Para apparently is not as compulsive as they, and saves it all up for when he can use it to maximum effect. Would that others would do, as well. Us included.

        Like

        • 154
          Smarty Pants says:

          Oooooooooo – saucer of milk for table 121!

          Like

          • Anonymous says:

            What happened to, ‘Can’t remember my moniker’? A much superior commentator than Schrodinger’s cat IMHO.

            Like

          • Tay King-dePisse says:

            CRMM is the Cat’s “evil twin,” as in that creaky old plot device from TV. Oops, I tell a lie. They’re much more like the Kray Brothers (or, in a pinch, the Eagle Sisters)– neither sibling really qualifies as the “good twin.”

            Like

    • 93
      Sir William Waad says:

      ‘Labour’ – singular or plural?

      Singular in the headline; plural in the strapline. Does anyone read these things through before publishing them? Or did Guido just mock it up?

      Like

    • 402
      AC1 says:

      THE MUSLIMS ARE NOT HAPPY!

      They’re not happy in Gaza ..
      They’re not happy in Egypt ..
      They’re not happy in Libya ..
      They’re not happy in Morocco ..
      They’re not happy in Iran ..
      They’re not happy in Iraq ..
      They’re not happy in Yemen ..
      They’re not happy in Afghanistan ..
      They’re not happy in Pakistan ..
      They’re not happy in Syria ..
      They’re not happy in Lebanon ..

      SO, WHERE ARE THEY HAPPY?

      They’re happy in Australia .
      They’re happy in Canada.
      They’re happy in England ..
      They’re happy in France ..
      They’re happy in Italy ..
      They’re happy in Germany ..
      They’re happy in Sweden ..
      They’re happy in the USA ..
      They’re happy in Norway ..
      They’re happy in Holland .
      They’re happy in Denmark .

      Basically, they’re happy in every country that is not Muslim
      and unhappy in every country that is!

      AND WHO DO THEY BLAME?
      Not Islam.
      Not their leadership.
      Not themselves.

      THEY BLAME THE COUNTRIES THEY ARE HAPPY IN!

      AND THEN; They want to change those countries to be like….
      THE COUNTRY THEY CAME FROM WHERE THEY WERE UNHAPPY!

      Like

  2. 2
    freddy the farting fish says:

    the T wants moving a bit to the right

    Like

  3. 3
    Banzai Balls and Empty Ed says:

    How dare you

    We are the party of boom and bust

    It was such fun with the Maximum Imbecile

    He never understood what he was doing

    We just had to wind him up and he ruined the country

    We were the Special Advisers of course

    Promoted to the Cabinet for our Mad Max disaster…

    ROFL

    Like

  4. 4
    stroppycow says:

    Who’da thought it – those three ugly bastards making poster boys – ffs!

    Like

  5. 5
    Gino says:

    Are we going to have a second series of Labour Comedy Classics?

    Like

  6. 6
    Bill D'Sarse says:

    Judging by some of the polls recently, it’s the electorate who isn’t learning.

    Like

    • 16
      Anonymous says:

      to think the masses are stupid is the height of stupidity.
      life=energy=mass.

      Like

      • 31
        Bill D'Sarse says:

        “Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.”
        -Albert Einstein

        Like

        • 189
          Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

          To be fair, this was uttered just after Einstein had been to a Ronald Reagan film.

          Like

          • Labour borrowing over the past 100 years says:

            “Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.” A. Einstein.

            Like

          • Expat Geordie says:

            I was wondering who said that, as it came to mind at work recently. A Russian bird was working in our call centre and got bumped up to team leader, much to everyones surprise. She made a complete bollocks of it and got demoted back to call centre chicken.

            She’s now been promoted back to team leader in a different area of the call centre. Is it because they are expecting different results (hence the quote)? Or is it because she has fake tits and blonde hair extensions?

            Like

          • Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

            For some reason that quote always brings to mind Stuart Broad’s cricket.

            Like

          • Expat Geordie says:

            T S-F, at last we can agree on something.

            Like

          • Prof. Albert Einstein says:

            On the subject of “my” quotes: I didn’t actually coin that quote about compound interest ascribed to me, and it was in the context of “How important is the discovery of the ‘Energy is equal to mass multiplied by the square of the speed of light’ formula?” that I even dealt with the subject; I offered the opinion that the Rule of 72 is a much more practical day-to-day equation and its discovery was true genius. The trouble is that it seems like no-one is taught the Rule of 72, or if they have been, they ignore it– look at the national debt and consumer debt. Another one of my quotes (that is actually legitimate) is appropriate in the “insanity” context: “Why would you try to solve a problem, with the same kind of thinking you used which created the problem?”

            http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rule_of_72

            Like

    • 44
      Mr Nobody says:

      The electorate always tell pollsters they’ll vote for the opposition in mid-term, it’s called kicking the government up the backside to encourage them to do better. Supplementary questions indicate how they’ll really vote, and Labour are really heading for oblivion under Balls and Miliband.

      If Labour’s lead were 30 points or more then I might agree with you, but it’s averaging 8 or 9.

      Like

      • 46
        Bill D'Sarse says:

        Let’s hope you are correct.

        Like

      • 68
        Barnehurst Bob says:

        ‘who would make a better PM?’ is the question that keeps Ed awake at night. He knows when it comes to a real choice and not an opinion poll people are not going to vote for Dave but rather against Ed.

        It’s not that I’m pro Tory, just anti Labour. That comes from being self employed and running a small business – I need a stable economy.

        Like

        • 108
          John Johnson says:

          I have said that on the Baron letter blog ,I agree with you

          Like

        • 138
          AC1 says:

          I think you’d prefer an expanding economy, rather than stable.
          Stable is for “managed declinists”.
          Other countries won’t be so insane and Britain’s relative wealth and thus ability to compete for imports will fall, and with it our living standard.

          Like

          • Barnehurst Bob says:

            You are of course right AC1, should have been read ‘I need stability in the economy’ which would mean it needs to expand, but in a controlled way.

            ‘The boom sows the seeds of its future destruction’

            Like

        • 249
          Expat Geordie says:

          “It’s not that I’m pro Tory, just anti Labour. That comes from being self employed and running a small business – I need a stable economy.”

          My late father would have said the same as he was self employed. What he would have said though is “I just want to be left alone”.

          My gut feeling is that Labour despises the self employed and those who run small businesses, because they have to think for themselves and be self reliant, so that they see through the sham that is the Labour Party.

          Like

          • F6 says:

            “What he would have said though is “I just want to be left alone”.”

            If only there was a “leave me the fuck alone” party.

            Like

      • 94
        giant gonad says:

        Call Me Dave and Gideon are a huge liability.

        Like

        • 106
          John Johnson says:

          Two posh boys that don’t know the price of a bottle of milk

          Like

          • Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

            Unfair. They are well aware of the price of a bottle of organic goats milk from Fortnum and Mason.

            Like

          • the socialist experience says:

            It’s called the market economy you fucking idiots. Unless you want to buy an unbranded, state subsidized milk in plain cartons from the local cooperative. Just be prepared to join a queue, and get up early to avoid disappointment.

            Like

          • Expat Geordie says:

            To misquote the start of the film “A Bridge Too Far”…

            “It’s hard to remember now, but Britain was like this in 1978…”

            I remember being sent to the village shop to buy bread, and seeing a fifty (yes fifty) yard queue outside because some bunch of arsewipes were on strike (bakers or delivery drivers in this case). I went home because I didn’t fancy waiting, after all I was only nine, and got sent back and told not to come back until I had a loaf of bread. I got home two hours later, empty handed.

            Thanks comrades. And people wonder why I’m a bloody tory.

            Like

    • 98
      Another Northern Twat says:

      It’s because a lot of the “I will be voting Labour” brigade, miss their free handouts now Bil.l. They want their ‘bennies’ back, so that they can sit on their smelly bums, take dru..gs & get wasted, without ever having to work.

      You’ll find Labour, in the 13 years they were in power, deliberately got the masses dependent on benefits, so that they’d vote for them time & time again.

      Who cares about labour’s mass imm..igr..ation policy when you’re either stoned or pissed?

      Like

      • 111
        Mitt Romney says:

        God forbid you should ever say something like that out loud at a fundraiser and be caught by a “hidden camera”.

        Like

        • 139
          AC1 says:

          After that Romney polled higher…
          Don’t believe all the MSM tell you.

          Like

          • Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

            Yet the latest polls in the marginals of Ohio and Florida show the Obama lead up to 8-10 points. Never mistake wishes for reality.

            Like

          • CYNICAL OLD MAN says:

            Let’s wait and see if the polls are correct Mr Boring-Phipps. I suspect that many being polled are saying they will vote for Obummer because they are scared of being smeared as racists, as the Democrat spin machine have been more than willing to do.

            Remember also that Ohio and Philadelphia are coal mining states and The One has already stated he wishes to push his green agenda even more if elected, which means huge restrictions on coal production. Any mining families in those states supporting Barry would be voting themselves out of a job.

            The polls themselves have been deliberately skewed by some Democrat influenced polling organisations and the MSM to push the idea that Romney has already lost the election and it would be a waste of time voting for him. It’s cynical ploy by a party that is unable to boast about Obama’s successes whilst in office – because there haven’t been any – only failure.

            Like

          • Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

            I don’t give a toss whether Obama or Romney wins but the first lesson I learnt in betting was don’t put money on your wishes – and I know where my money is for the US elections and it isn’t Romney.

            Like

          • Blowing Whistles says:

            The political [The con'troll'ing lobbyists behind them in fact - The dirtiest of all "banksters"] trick is to sell a “two horse race” – to the voters where hey ho, Ye hah, yahoo – both of the contenders are already controlled by fair means and foul … the dumbass public of course love it – they fall for it ‘every time’ – stupid fuckers.

            The mass of people actually control matters – so if some duplicitous bankers come along and rig the game by offering one or the other of their ‘entrapped’ frontmen – who wins. It is the “controlling hand” ONLY of the banksters which must be wiped off of the face of the planet – which is the key.

            Like

          • Anonymous says:

            the US is now the land for families just as UK is now about partnerships, also known as co.alitions.

            families are socialist by nature. stereotypically man earns, woman spends.

            Like

      • 116
        Rochdale Girl says:

        I was stoned, pissed and spit roasted by loads of prophets and loved every second of it….burp, ooh, have shit myself as my sphicter’s knackered

        Like

        • 140
          • Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

            Of course, this is an area of expertise for Straw. He spent many years in Blackburn being groomed by Barbara Castle.

            Like

          • Britain the ruined country. says:

            In denial all over the country.

            http://www.oxfordmail.co.uk/news/9956046.Child_sex_ring_suspects_deny_charges/

            Like

          • Blowing Whistles says:

            This type of grooming of young girls – didn’t just exist in muslim communities – there are plenty of white men – who are and have been hiding their own transgressions – for longer than this latest bunch. Many of the old boy brigade – conceal themselves in society – where they profess ‘themselves’ to be “Pillars of Society” – “The Truth” is something else and far worse – not that they are not ‘all’ evil duplicitous bar Stewards.

            Like

          • Expat Geordie says:

            BW, no-one is denying that it happens in other groups, and that it has been going on since God was a boy, but there does seem to be a preponderence of cases among a group who make up only a couple of percent of the population.

            We know what happened at the Kincora Boys Home in Northern Ireland in the 1970’s, with boys being passed around members of the Unionist upper echelons, (conveniently forgotten when people criticise Catholic priests), or that Thomas Hamilton was supplying leading members of the local Labour Party with little boys before he went postal at Dunblaine. And we know that girls, both bláck and white, routinely get raped by the boys in inner city gangs. But if I remember rightly, out of 53 cases of gróóming in the north-western former mill towns, 47 involved ásían men.

            Like

          • Expat Geordie says:

            Gúídó, please sort out this móddíng

            BW, no-one is denying that it happens in other groups, and that it has been going on since Gód was a bóy, but there does seem to be a prépónderence of cáses among a groúp who make up only a coúple of percent of the popúlation.

            We know what happened at the Kíncóra Bóys Hóme in Nórthern Irélánd in the 1970′s, with bóys being pássed áround mémbers of the Uniónist úpper échélons, (convéniently fórgótten when peóple crítícise Cáthólic príésts), or that Thómas Hámilton was supplying léading mémbers of the local Labour Party with líttle bóys before he went póstal at Dúnbláíne. And we know that gírls, both bláck and whíte, róútinely get ráped by the bóys in ínner cíty gángs. But if I rémémber ríghtly, out of 53 cáses of gróóming in the nórth-wéstern fórmer míll towns, 47 invólved ásían mén.

            Like

          • Anonymous says:

            i see the pakistani muslim paedo thingy cultural, generational and location specific. it’s a stain but will pass.

            Like

          • Blowing Whistles says:

            Thanks Expat. A reminder we’re all on a so called conspiracy website – so with that I continue on subject: What if Ian Huntley did in fact have form and was a supplier of young girls to dirty men he had moved south from up north? There is no way that he was offering up young girls to GI’s at a US basse near to where Holly & Jessica lived – it’s utterly proposterous that I should put up such a conspiracy – isn’t it?

            Like

          • Expat Geordie says:

            BW, if you want a conspiracy, or just an example of official victimisation, try this.

            Maxine Carr, Huntley’s girlfriend at the time of the killings, was the first person in Britain to be charged with the heinous crime of giving false details on a CV/job application. Apparently she lied about having O-levels when she applied for a job at her local Spar shop.

            Now if we just step out of our houses in Bournemouth or Poole, I’m sure that there will be someone within 20 yards of us who has done the same thing, or worse. So why pick on her?

            Like

          • Blowing Whistles says:

            I haven’t picked on her. I will get back to you on this. Night Night.

            Like

          • Marion the cat says:

            To any nay-sayers, consider this not to be a complaint about groomers in society per se, but are you really saying, White, Indigenous groomers would have the same blind-eye fate.

            Bugger off, they would have been up before the beak in a trice, there is no associated fear in that prosecution. Just for the imported bits.

            So go on Guido, do your bloody worst with that.

            Like

      • 222
        Living in 98 percent white Merseyside says:

        Absolutely. Ed will be best for Merseyside.

        Like

  7. 7
    a non says:

    Unfortunately there are little or no politicians that have either the country or the electorates best interests at heart.
    The Tories mean well but are floundering with their good cop / good cop approach.
    Labour are suffering delerium tremens, anxious to get their itchy fingers back on the levers of power and will promise the world to achieve their objective.
    LibDems are happy to follow whichever party takes them along.
    You are totally screwed, though whether this is a temporary or permanent situation is dependent upon the blinkered electorate at the moment listening to the Unions.
    Till The Conservatives actually get their message across even rejects like Ed and Ed will always be a threat

    Like

    • 11
      stroppycow says:

      Who the fuck listens to the Unions??

      Like

    • 311
      Anonymous says:

      we value tolerance now as a country. That is rather giving.
      what about us in return, what is the duty of every single citizen of this country.

      I am grateful to every taxpayer of this country and I would like the elite to be grateful to the rest of us as we have bailed them out.

      Like

  8. 8
    Bankers haven't learnt says:

    Nor have we

    We are onto our next buggle now thanks to the Bank of England, our chums who we bought years ago

    But we fear the next bust will finally destroy the system…

    So watch out

    We will be OK because we will continue money laundering and our generalised criminal carryon for all the drug dealers, rogue states and other arroted partners in crime

    ROFL

    Like

    • 47
      Getting tired of crooks says:

      Another interesting disgrace from the usual suspects

      http://www.ifre.com/bankia-ipo-banks-and-advisers-give-back-your-fees/21021766.article

      Lazard and Barclays at it…

      AGAIN…

      Like

      • 69
        Getting tired of state apologists says:

        If its all the fault of greedy banks why is it that some countries like Spain, Italy, Ireland, Portugal and Greece are much worse than countries like Germany? The last I heard there are plenty of banks in Germany. The big difference is that a German government would never countenance risky ventures like 110% mortgages as McMental did in 2002.

        Like

        • 112
          Getting tired of crooks says:

          You have confused everything!

          1) I object to excessive state spending just as much as anyone else here

          2) I object to state borrowing in principle…it should be outlawed

          3) I object to criminal and totally irresponsible bankers who expect to be bailed out by the taxpayer after running off with obscene bonuses

          4) I believe in low tax rates that everyone pays – not just the secretaries

          This is conherent unlike your remarks

          Like

        • 143
          AC1 says:

          Correct.

          Gordon knew that the only way to paper over the damage his taxation policies were doing to the economy was to have an increase in debt.
          Now the future has been totally sold there’s no room left, but benefit addicts still want their fix of OPM.

          Like

        • 199
          Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

          You clearly have little knowledge of German banks. In Germany, because of the structure of the housing market, there was no boom and no demand for excessive mortgages. However they participated fully in the dodgy derivatives market and the big worry for Germany is the much higher exposure of their banks to southern european gilts than UK banks. They also have ongoing problems with the solvency positions of many of the landesbanks.

          Like

          • onan's right hand man says:

            You clearly have a lot of knowledge of merchant bankers.

            Like

          • Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

            No. But my main client is a mega German insurer which also used to own a substantial bank in Germany.

            Like

          • Blowing Whistles says:

            ABN AMRO – we in the thick of it all – RBS / Barclays – oh and did I forget to mention a deal they were the brokers for with Murdoch’s NDS some years ago with a £170 million pound pay day for Rupee against the mighty Tandberg of Norway? Perhaps I did.

            Like

  9. 10
    Rodney Dangerfield says:

    Poor Ed Miliband– he gets no respect!

    Like

  10. 12
    0 out of 10 says:

    Little Ed has still got a blank sheet of paper.

    Like

    • 14
      Well it's a thought says:

      But that’s all he’s allowed now, nutter Broon made all real idea’s good or bad into dreams that no one can believe, when he went to court,

      Like

    • 15
      a non says:

      An undecided with a blank sheet of paper can never be accused of making rash judgments or promises. Hence Balls’ attempt to request a mandate without delivering a Labour manifesto of future plans.

      Like

      • 20
        Underestimate Labour at your peril says:

        AND the electorate are likely to give them a mandate in 2015 as well…..let’s face it they fell for the “Balanced Parliament” will be good for the country “con -trick” being put out by BBC in the 8 months before the 2010 election….I recall a “vox-pop” poll asking the “average” voter what they understood by that term and the majority felt that it meant all 3 parties would join in government……so never underestimate the gullibility or passivity of the electorate in returning labour to power

        Like

        • 38
          The BBC says:

          IF you’re One Of Us and

          IF you’re High Enough Up the Socialist Dung Hill and

          Providing you remain in Good Standing

          Please check that you have received your Cordial Invitations to join us to Celebrate Obama’s Victory Parties.

          Like

        • 45
          Hazel Fuckwitte - Big house in Suburbia, Slight drinking problem says:

          I might not know much about politics, but I know what I see, on the BBC.
          For starters, what about “The cuts”? The conservatives simply don’t care that they are ‘too wide and too thick’?
          We now have a bunch of toffee-nosed public school educated millionaires literally stealing money from the homeless, foreign nurses, the needy and the most vulnerable in society and just to give extra money to their banker friends to buy more champagne with and as a result, have a generation of children without jobs, unable to be even taught to tie their own shoelaces due to underfunding, without the latest i-Phones…without hope!
          Labour introduced the minimum wage don’t you know? got rid of Thatcher AND brought peace to Northern Ireland, and best of all, once a month we get to call a nice brown man who delivers us some spicy food on his bike, we give him an extra £2 for his trouble which also helps me sleep soundly, I know where my vote is going next time.

          Like

          • Tax avoidance barrister says:

            Don’t forget that the tax avoidance industry employs thousands in London

            And the Caymans, Monte Carlo, Virgin Islands etc

            That more than offsets silly nurses, young people and others who cannot be paid properly …or at all…nurses a decent

            And don’t forget the champagne industry in France

            Thousands of jobs there

            So as my Ponzi client Mandy says

            Guacamole to you

            Like

          • Nation shall speak peace unto nation says:

            He who controls the message controls the power

            Like

          • AC1 says:

            >stealing money from the homeless, foreign nurses, the needy and the most vulnerable in society

            They’ve got no money to steal, you’re a delusional ranter. These people are the most extortion funded by other peoples money in the entire country.

            Like

          • Anonymous says:

            you fucking idiot AC1, that was a spoof comment, don’t you ever fucking learn, dimwit?

            Like

          • Expat Geordie says:

            “brought peace to Northern Ireland”.

            My Arsé!

            The IRA súrrendéred in 1994 after the UVF got to be rather too successful in taking out the próvós leádership.

            Major and Blair simply managed to snátch déféat from the jaws of victory.

            Like

          • Anonymous says:

            @2.21pm.
            “he who controls the message”
            who controlled the message at the last election that gave us a libcon government.

            Like

          • Sarge says:

            Like yer moniker. The rest is complete shite

            Like

        • 53
          Mr Nobody says:

          Never take a mid-term poll seriously. Look at the history of mid-term polling, Foot and Kinnock both had leads in the mid-20s, Hague actually led Blair at one stage. Then look at the supplementary questions.

          Under Balls and Miliband, Labour are heading for meltdown in 2015.

          Like

    • 75
      Anonymous says:

      Yes – but as the old saying goes – don’t interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.

      If you were a Labour strategist – would you be making any positive statements now? The coalition shows day by day how useless they are.

      Like

      • 120
        John Johnson says:

        Liebore have an almost impossibly steep hill to climb for folks to trust them again with the economy, Dave is finding that he does not have a gently sloping hill to climb but a hill which is getting steeper and steeper as he climbs up the hill it is turning out to be a very big mountain. Cleggy is a bit of a busted flush his fate is connected to Dave like it or not. Farage & Ukip is the unknown quantity with no mps his is the party of protest, after all could anyone say who their spokesman for finace is. The financial mess is getting worse, folks will not believe the “little green shoots” thing until it happens to them and if they are struggling, lost their jobs, suddenly had a bad illness (heart attack, stroke, road accident) they are at the bottom of the pile.

        Like

        • 159
          Trahison des Clercs says:

          We will destroy Cameron ‘ut ruat Coelum’

          Like

        • 265
          Expat Geordie says:

          Yes but Labour have 8 million guaranteed votes in the bag – the muppets who voted for them last time. Make the right noises and they will get in again.

          Like

          • Blowing Whistles says:

            People need to start looking seriously at who the dirtiest Postal vote riggers are in this country. Let’s just say that they have plenty of friends and money; and that their tricks are well hidden perhaps down at the land registry!

            Like

  11. 17
    and so pay all of us says:

    lightweight!

    Like

  12. 18
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Good stuff. Fucking funny, actually. More please.

    At this rate, I might even start liking Shapps.

    Like

    • 29
      Dave Laws says:

      So funny I nearly choked on my cornflakes. When I start doing stand-up comedy, I hope you are in the audience.

      Like

  13. 21
    Muuurty's Ghuuurst says:

    Have I missed all the comments about Jack Straw and the fact the entire shower of shite that was the last lot knew the one eyed lunatic was (and remains) mental and completely out of his depth??

    As for drippy Dave and his latest ‘promise’ HTF will he implement that – he’ll be signing on either well before or just after the next election.

    Like

    • 25
      Penfold says:

      Jack was of course under the shrink and can’t be held responsible, he didn’t know which way was up, or left from right.
      And know he has the temerity to suggest that Blair was pyscho.

      Hoons the lot of ‘em.

      Like

      • 59
        Mr Nobody says:

        Back then they were saying Brown was the best man to run the country, but now they admit he was awful.

        How do they expect us to take them seriously if they tell us Miliband is the best man to run the country now? Everyone can see he isn’t, and in a few years they’ll probably be admitting he was useless too.

        Like

      • 204
        John Johnson says:

        Someone must have told Jack Boy (is it OK to say that) that he would look better without his glasses, I don’t whether he had a cataract eye operation or laser treatment, for a time he could not see properly and so we got the fiasco of him shaking hands with Mugabe, mind you the look on Mugabe’s was a picture and Jack Boy didn’t twig

        Like

  14. 24
    spanking weekly says:

    Ed needs a history lesson from our Dave.

    Like

    • 39
      Diane Fatbutt says:

      Wouldn’t be fair, he’s not British.

      Your question for £5: Which Marxist so-called academic held forth on the glories of socialism – despite the scores of innocent people massacred by this doctrine’s adherents – from a comfy house in Primrose Hill?

      Like

      • 42
        stroppycow says:

        Er…..YOU ????

        And btw don’t even think about claiming the £5 back on expenses bitch!!!

        Like

      • 64
        Sir William Waad says:

        Scores? At least 100 million so far.

        Like

      • 215
        taC eht abbaJ says:

        The gruby little spawn of east European socialism Milimongski senior? Shame he never hung around long enough for Stalin to have sent him to Siberia for re-education…

        Like

      • 233
        Salmondnet says:

        In case anyone doesn’t know, it was Milliband Senior, who also wrote of his hatred and contempt for the English, while he sought sanctuary in England in 1940.

        Like

        • 267
          Expat Geordie says:

          Isn’t being held responsible for the sins of your father rather, er, socialist?

          Like

        • 268
          Expat Geordie says:

          Are you sure that he wasn’t a muzzie?

          Like

        • 309
          Sir William Waad says:

          While Miliband Senior’s father was a traitor who fought against his own country at the Battle of Warsaw in 1920.

          Like

          • Anonymous says:

            interesting that loyalty does not run in this family.
            perhaps they are all independent thinkers.

            Like

          • Expat Geordie says:

            But communists do not approve of nationalism unless it serves their purpose. Stalin had loads of Russian nationalists shot in the 1930’s, but in the early 40’s was making appeáls to save “Mother Russia”. The Milibands have a higher calling than loyalty to their (?) country.

            The same could also be said of Clegg.

            Like

  15. 26
    taC eht abbaJ says:

    “Shapps’ CCHQ goes negative. Expect two more years of this…”

    Excellent, the more the merrier…

    When can we expect the same for the LibDims?

    Like

    • 71
      Barnehurst Bob says:

      The Lib Dem version will have Vince Cable sitting next to Broon.

      Like

    • 289
      Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

      Methinks there is an armed truce with the LibDems. The potential problems are too big. Imagine the LibDems leaking various secrets as revenge such as Daves comments about various Tory nutters, George’s efforts to protect the bankers, Theresa’s decision to weaken border controls for economic reasons…. Who cares if they are true or not? The journo’s will have a field day. It’s known as the political version of mutually assured destruction if one breaks ranks.

      Like

      • 301
        Expat Geordie says:

        So is this what happens in other countries that have coalition governments? If so, what happens to free and open debate?

        Like

      • 322
        Blowing Whistles says:

        Take a gander at the ever so “OTT” ‘Contrition’ expressed by the Fox news propagandist pup about a live airing of a man who shot himself. Leave aside the issue of the man shooting himself – and wonder at the pathetic pandering and contrition of the fox man on air! Pathetic Rupert, Pathetic – but then you are a pathetic old bastard.

        Like

        • 359
          not now cato says:

          I have no idea what you are on about, but leaving out one side of the story that does not fit your agenda, seems terribly bbc/guardian/socialist.

          Like

  16. 27
    Penfold says:

    How nice, let’s hope we have many more before the apparatchiks stage their putsch and rid themsleves of Red Ed.

    Like

  17. 30

    Ghastly font impedes clarity and thus spoils immediacy.

    Like

  18. 32
    Michael Green says:

    If Ed would like to call me, I can help him become top-rated. For a small fee, natch.

    Like

  19. 33
    The Last Conservative ‘Prime Minister’ – ever, says:

    I think we’ve conned people long enough. Time to come clean. We’re useless. Always have been. Always will be. The secret is to get the right Leader.

    Like

  20. 41
    it was a dark and stormy night says:

    There was an article in the past week stating that Eunuchs lived longer.
    So does that mean that Cameroon will live a long and full life?

    Like

    • 62
      Mr Nobody says:

      I don’t know, but Ed Miliband is 113 next year.

      Like

    • 70
      Quick-draw McGraw says:

      Cameron does not meet our requirements at this time.

      Like

    • 124
      John Johnson says:

      I don’t know about that but if they have been castrated before pubity they will not prostate cancer, if you get prostate cancer at 40-60 years it is very agressive and there is not much hope because it has already travel by the time patients see their doctor and refered.

      Like

  21. 51
    Labour=Waste says:

    Many denounced the “Devil Eyes” poster of Blair. But it was proved correct.

    Like

    • 56
      Tachybaptus says:

      There is a silly prejudice against negative campaigning. But when no one believes politicians’ promises any more, it’s the only kind left. And it has been going on for a very long time: see this piece from the _New York Times_ on campaign ads in Pompeii:

      http://tinyurl.com/d72rxso

      Like

    • 125
      John Johnson says:

      But it DID put off prospective tory voters, someone did not think, just thought a jolly good wheeze

      Like

    • 269
      Expat Geordie says:

      My comment 230, before I made it down to here. Great minds think alike, but then so does mine.

      Remember “Demon Eyes” Blair?

      Who the hell would have guessed that it was an understatement?

      Like

  22. 54
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    Poor old Shapps – and how much per head are the Cameron-Clegg clowns increasing UK debt?

    Remember how ‘Labour isn’t working’ backfired as unemployment under Thatcher went over 3 million?

    Like

    • 270
      Expat Geordie says:

      The IMF assessment at the time was that if Labour continued with its current policies then unemployment would reach 6 million by 1982.

      Like

  23. 57
    Jeremy Forrest says:

    Damn!

    Before eloping off to France with Megan I should’ve converted to Islam.

    Like

    • 104
      Mornington Crescent says:

      Nah, you should have popped in to the Ecuadorian Embassy.

      Like

    • 128
      John Johnson says:

      Tha does look old for 30 years old

      Like

    • 216
      Queen Anne Boleyn says:

      I seem to remember in my youth

      We used to say

      When roses are ripe they are ready for plucking

      When girls are fifteen they are ready for…

      Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen

      That is what I did… anyway…

      Like

    • 332
      Blowing Whistles says:

      This charge of ‘Abduction’ and any court proceedings that flow and follow are going to be very interesting indeed.

      There is a law firm in southern england who specialise in ‘working hand in glove’ with the judiciary – to protect the judiciary in similar cases [the fucked up family court system] – I will be keeping tabs on the matter – Indeed and on the keep it in the family business of lawyers / barristards.

      Like

      • 352
        Expat Geordie says:

        If he hasn’t had sex with her I can’t see what he can be charged with. He can’t be charged with kidnapping as she is over 13 and can therefore legally give consent. Interestingly Labour changed the law on this so that teachers could not have sex with pupils until they were 18, although if they had left school at 16 they could still have sex with them.

        He could always claim to have had a “breakdown” and not to be responsible for his actions.

        Like

  24. 58
    Chris The Leatherman says:

    Labour isn’t working was partially responsiblr for getting the Lady elected. It was the most effective political poster in history. This one is also excellent and hits the nail on the head.

    Like

    • 60
      WVM says:

      Yes indeed, Labour need hitting with the debt hammer over and over and over again.

      Like

    • 86
      Cato Street Conspirator says:

      And remind me what unemloyment went up to after the Thatcher victory.

      Like

      • 105
        duczarse says:

        exactly, they do,nt want to answer those kind of questions.

        Like

      • 273
        Expat Geordie says:

        The IMF assessment at the time was that if Labour continued with its current policies then unemployment would reach 6 million by 1982. And don’t forget that it was Tony Benn who closed most of the coal mines back in the 1960’s.

        I think that it is called “An Inconvenient Truth”.

        Like

      • 363
        Gordon says:

        Governments do not cause unemployment. Have you learned nothing?

        Like

    • 132
      John Johnson says:

      The Cons would have got in anyway because folks were fed up with no rubbish collection, strikes (whether the strikes had been engineered or not) Liebore was just not working, the same happened with Brown and Liebore but the Cons management of the economy prior to 1997 ment that they were not entirely trusted

      Like

  25. 66
  26. 72
    Progressive educationalist. says:

    Looks like a special school for retards-no hope of teaching them anything, just lots of woodwork and P.E.

    Like

  27. 74
  28. 79
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Is the £3,200 per month?

    Like

  29. 80
    nellnewman says:

    I think mr shapps is a trifle premature with that poster – as apt and to the point as it is. There are 3 more years of government to go yet before the next election.

    I think he and the rest of the tory party need to buckle down and work out what policies they need in place to get us to vote for them before they start campaigning and an In/Out EU referendum promise is essential for a start.

    Like

    • 84
      Being thick is not limited to Labour MPs says:

      some stupid Tory MP is now proposing a crazy road pricing scheme, so that those who travel most pay most. The stupid cow can’t see that is exactly what fuel duty already does. Why do these twats try to solve problems that do not exist with expensive and intrusive solutions?

      Like

    • 90
      giant gonad says:

      Far too early, in my opinion. The problem with using negative slogans and images is that they can be turned against the Tories. So, it is better to save them until late in the campaign.

      I don’t think Schapps has a clue.

      Like

    • 135
      John Johnson says:

      Nell agreed, but by Dave’s previous efforts do you think it will come to pass

      Like

  30. 82
    Double standards when it comes to Mo says:

    Why did the plod go into hyperdrive about a middle class teenage girl running. away from home, who they said was in no physical danger but buried their heads in the sand when they were first made aware of Muslim men turning young girls in care into their sex slaves and whose lives were in danger?

    And why was Allan Partridge so scared to talk about these Muslim sexual predators who treat white girl as trash when he was asked about it on QT?

    Like

  31. 85
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

    Like

    • 100
      Tay King-dePisse says:

      Done with clever editing and camera angles, and yet– somehow we believe it COULD happen. Says it all, really.

      Like

  32. 87
    Raving Loon says:

    Meanwhile the Tories are increasing the national debt anyway.

    Like

  33. 89
    Jimmy says:

    You’ve got to admire a party with the nerve to put this out on the back of record deficit figures. I have a feeling that The Artist Formerly Known As Michael Green may be one of those gifts that keeps giving.

    Like

  34. 95
    At last. says:

    Now this is more like it.

    Gordon’s exiled Bath party have been given to easy a ride by Dave.

    It’s time a few home truths were put about

    Bring it on Grant.

    Like

  35. 113
    Strange Hill Comprehensive says:

    ‘Miss..Ed keeps flicking my ears’
    ‘Ed stop flicking Eds ears and Gordon stop flicking bogies’
    ‘Yes miss Harman’
    ‘Now if you C*nts have quite finished we can carry on’

    Like

  36. 115
    HateFuelled HaHaHaPerson says:

    I’m going to be the next PM – the first in a long line of LieBore Wimmin Prime Ministers.

    Like

  37. 119
    Ed Miliband (Leader of the Party opposite) says:

    The voters in the forthcoming Corby by election will give their verdict on the shower of shit running this country. (AKA the Conservative led coalition)

    Like

    • 146
      Well it's a thought says:

      The braindead will do it’s usual stupid thing and vote Liebour and when they get fed up with them they will vote so called Conservative then when they get fed etc, so round and around we go, getting poorer, taxed even higher, but the idiots won’t even try to break the circle.

      Like

  38. 123
    Dave "Butch" Cameron says:

    EXCLUSIVE BREAKING NEWS

    I shall be wheeling out Lady Thatcher to make the closing speech at Conference because I can’t think of anything to say to the muppets in attendance.

    Like

    • 276
      Expat Geordie says:

      Even though at times she does a passible impersonation as Lady Gaga she still makes a lot more sense that you.

      Like

      • 303
        Expat Geordie says:

        Even though at times she does a passible impersonation as Lady Gaga she still makes a lot more sense thaN you.

        (Too much Aldi wine – that Toro Loco is rather good)

        Like

  39. 126
    annette curton says:

    Gordon Brown signs the Magma Carta at Runnynose, (just a bit too much gold leaf on the Louis the X1V furniture perhaps ?)

    Like

  40. 127
    UKIP convert says:

    Just come across, IMHO,the Best Joke Caption for this Year…….

    on the front page of Al-Beeb Website aka Biased Broadcasting Company

    “Labour is on your Side”…………LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

    Rates equal with CDDD’s “My Cast Iron Guarantee” LOL LOL LOL LOL

    The saying thats applicable for both these clowns is

    “You can’t fool all of the people all of the time”

    VOTE >>>>>>>>>>>>>>UKIP 15 NOV >>>>>>>> VOTE UKIP 15 NOV

    Like

    • 142
      Bat Mincer says:

      I’m voting for the anti Windmill party.

      Like

    • 179
      Nation shall speak peace unto nation says:

      You have to ask whether the BBC would transmit almost two solid hours of Cameron taking a Q&A session ahead of the Tory Conference ? No….it would of course breach their Charter ! Then why did they do this for Miliband this afternoon ? Unbiased State Broadcaster ? My arse !!

      Like

      • 277
        Expat Geordie says:

        Then why doesn’t Cameron close the bastard down?

        In WW2 one of their announcers got a bollocking for being biased when he announced “Now here’s some good news” before saying that we had won at El Alamein.

        If they can be balanced towards thge Nazis, why can’t they do it now.

        Like

        • 369
          Gordon says:

          Cameron just does not have the balls to do it.

          He should do it.

          But he won’t. And he deserves what he gets because of it.

          We don’t deserve it, though.

          Like

      • 278
        Anon Voter says:

        And why are we, the great unwashed aka Plebs, legally required to have to pay for this uncontrolled left wing propaganda bile pumped out 24/7 thru all of the Al-Beeb channels or otherwise you get a Criminal Record.

        Is this what they mean by the Democracy in 21st Century

        Look forward to reading in the UKIP manifesto a commitment for the route & branch total reform of this mafia type dinosaur relic left over from the 19th Century. If thats not possible then just shut it down.

        Like

        • 483
          Haribo Halfwit says:

          If the promised revelations next month relating to Jimmy Savile finally break next month, my broad discomfort with the BBC’s press-ganging of funds to be used for supporting ‘the wrong kind of liberal bias’ will turn to hostility and outrage.

          They will need to find carbon-neutral ways of disposing of all those returned license fees in a hurry, as well.

          Like

  41. 136

    75% tax in France for some now.

    Monsieur Hollande is going to find out anew about the law of diminishing returns.

    Like

    • 145
      annette curton says:

      Reality should never get in the way of ideology, “Bonne chance mon ami”.

      Like

    • 163
      illogical says:

      Also Monday mornings will never be the same.
      Hollande targets Rich.
      Mark goes into hiding.

      Like

    • 171
      I don't need no doctor says:

      How much as Hollande said the increase in revenue will be?

      Like

      • 225
        UKIP.i.am.awake says:

        The thing about Hollande is that before the election he was baying to the rabid left-wing plebs that he would increase public spending but now he is in office and reality takes a grip, like all the other loony left hypocrites would have been forced to do (or go the way of Greece), he is actually slashing public spending by 10billion euros.

        http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-19754016

        To put this into perspective for the rabid UK left-wing, in their first year in office the coalition actually increased public spending from £670billion to £688billion.

        Like

    • 466
      AC1 says:

      Multiple choice.
      If you get punished for wealth creation.
      You will.
      a) Work more.
      b) work less.
      c) stop work and live on benefits.
      d) emigrate.

      Like

  42. 141
  43. 153
    JobSeeker says:

    The only thing that Labour learnt was how to become good Tories of the neoliberal variety. Does anyone remember what happened to unemployment after the original version of this poster appeared in 1979?
    The reintroduction of mass unemployment in the 1970s & 80s:
    thetruthaboutunemployment.wordpress.com/2012/09/17/the-reintroduction-of-mass-unemployment-in-the-1970s-80s/

    Like

    • 218
      John Johnson says:

      A lot depends where in the uk you lived, the nearer you lived to London the less unemployment, but what has happened as time has gone on, the nearer unemployment gets to London, at a guess in the next wave or two London will feel it the same as the rest of the country.

      Like

    • 463
      AC1 says:

      Unemployment seemed highest in areas where union activity was highest.

      If you’re in a job and most of the people alongside you are in a union. Leave as soon as a recession starts as they’ll kill the business for everyone.

      Like

  44. 156
    Anonymous says:

    Of course they attack Labour, they have fuck all to boast about.

    “Vote Tory, we haven’t had any growth in 2 years and are borrowing more than Darling planned!”

    Like

    • 166
      I don't need no doctor says:

      Key word “planned”. What would reality have been though?

      Like

      • 226
        John Johnson says:

        they all under estimate the actual borrowing required so it would have been more, Gideon under estimated the amount of borrowing, I am not so sure as with all governments, whether they have actually got the total amount of debt, there only seem to have been guesstimates

        Like

      • 234
        UKIP.i.am.awake says:

        Indeed. What value can anyone put on the borrowing and spending promises of the Labour party?We had it all nefore with some Scottish one-eyed idiot going on about prudence and then doing the exact opposite of Keynesian theory by increasing borrowing after 2000 during a long period of growth. Later of course the same pillock had the fecking nerve to quote Keynes when he wanted to increase debt in order to reduce it ???? Only someone from the loony left could come up with that classical idea.

        Like

  45. 157
    Ed Miliband says:

    Please sir, why are all firemen called Dennis?

    Like

    • 164
      annette curton says:

      Ed, the early years… they are now known as Firefighters and some of them are called Denise.

      Like

      • 317
        Ed Miliband says:

        But it says Dennis on their fire engines.

        Like

        • 333

          Dennis the Menace

          During the firemen’s strike of 1978, the British Army had taken over emergency fire fighting and on 14 January they were called out by an elderly lady in South London to retrieve her cat which had become trapped up a tree. They arrived with impressive haste and soon discharged their duty. So grateful was the lady that she invited them all in for tea. Driving off later, with fond farewells completed, they ran over the cat and killed it.

          Like

  46. 162

    Labour isn’t learning.

    The SpinBetweeners.

    [voiceover of Ed 'Mill' McKenzie plays on a backdrop of a modern comprehensive school. A repo van labeled P.F.I. is buy loading up computer equipment to take away.]

    It wasn’t easy being the new boy at the tough and rough, local comprehensive education policy party. I had wanted to lead the nice and intellectual Liberal party, but daddy, being a communist, insisted I become leader of the labour party.
    So here I am, in the very odd, very common, and sometimes quite violent ‘people’s republic of Islington.’ I don’t think they appreciate my particular speky genius as well as they should. Just this morning I was sitting in the common room with my friends..well..more acquaintances really..well..not even that..we just ..don’t have anyone else in the entire country who likes us..so we have to stick together..well..anyway..

    “Oi briefcase face” yelled JEd Balls at me. “Guess wot I don last night? Or should I say ‘who I dun?’

    “You should in fact say neither, ” replied Mill Mckenzie pushing his glasses up his nose. “Its who I did , not who I dun, and don’t call be briefcase face. I’m the leader of the labour party.”

    “Ok then. Guess who I did then, ” said JEd Balls. “I did her real good. Bent her right over like that and banged away right up her clunge.”

    “Was it Angela Eagles? ” Asked Neil Khan. Neil was a bit thick and quite slow. He was JEd Balls’ friend. Khan believed every one of JEd’s increasingly tall tales about the size of his growth. And where to find the endogenous zones.

    “How could it be Angela Eagles?” Asked Chuka. “She’s a lezza.” Chucka was Mill’s friend..sort of..well..really they just shared a geekiness quality.

    “Is she?” asked Khan?

    “yes! Everyone knows that.”

    “Well Ballsy is like a great big girl. So maybe she fancied him..was it her JEd?”

    “No!..Of course it wasn’t.”

    “I bet it was Caroline Flint. She’s easy. Even old one eyed maths teacher Brownstains dun her.”

    “No..I don’t think he did.” Said Khan. “I sit next to Liz Kendall in maths. And once she said to me ..”Watch it..here comes dickless…so..he ain’t got no knob has he?”

    “It was not Flint. I wouldn’t touch her with Mill’s. Right rank old moose..”

    “Was it Maria Eagles, then?”

    “NO! give over..I said a woman. Not the art class sculptures mishap pile”

    “Was it Chris Bryant? I bet it was! Did you cop off with ‘Skids’ ?” asked Neil eagerly.

    “We’re very inclusive in my new , Next generation Labour Party. I hope it was.” said Mill.

    “Fuck off! It wasn’t some bandit. I’m not a Chutney fancier…It was a female of the big bap variety.”

    “Was it Hilary Benn?” asked dimbo Sadiq.

    “NO! I..I ..just said it was a FEMALE.” called back Balls who was becoming red faced.

    “And she’s not a woman, then?”

    “NO? She’s not.” Sadiq looked confused. But then he always did so they ignored him.

    “Did you do Mountain Abbott? ” they all cheered.

    “No..I did not do the big Bishop..bloody hell. this is losing me the will to live.”

    “Really ?” said Mill. “Well don’t let us stop you..Has someone got a razor blade for JEd?”

    “ERm… I’ve got a skateboard..” said sadiq slowly..and he held out a board to JEd.

    “Look..cretins. Do you want to know who I was shafting good and proper? Want to know who was getting a portion of JEd’s Balls? The creamy topping treat?”
    Well I’ll tell you anyway. It was the economy. Dun her too fast and too deep. Done her over for ten long years in the treasury position. Moaned like a Guantanamo cavity search.”

    There was a dull silence.

    “So…it wasn’t Margaret Curran then?” asked Neil.

    “Oh For fuggs sake..It was a joke!!..I can’t be dealin’ with you.. I’m off. See ya you losers.”

    “Wait a minute! We haven’t discussed my proposals and plans for the Labour party conference.” Said Mill brightly, opening his briefcase and taking out sheaves of brightly paper clipped papers.

    ” I’ve drawn up a very tight schedule and there’s a lot of on message bullet points that you’ll need to remember. I thought this years theme could be ‘pre-distribution and the ‘acquiring vs retiring’ community. What do you think?”

    “Very uninspiring. I’m off.” Said Balls. ‘Coming Neil?”

    “yep..see ya Mill..Oh..I nearly forgot..Serwotka and McKluskey said that if you don’t agree to put up minimum wage to £17.67 by break-time they’re going to kick the living shit out of you. Well, see you later.”

    {Mill Mckenzie voiceover}
    And so once again my conference plans were in tatters…

    The SpinBetweeners

    Like

  47. 167
    T.B£iar - the People's Messiah says:

    I am not a W@r Cr1minal; I am a W@r Monger

    #Regularkindaguy # TheReignofTerror1997-2010.

    Like

  48. 175
    duczarse says:

    grant green is a shithead and so is michael shapps

    Like

  49. 198

    The SpinBetweeners.

    [voiceover of Geeky Ed 'Mill' McKenzie plays on a backdrop of a modern comprehensive school. A repo van labeled P.F.I. is busy loading up computer equipment to take away.]

    It wasn’t easy being the new boy at the tough and rough, local comprehensive education policy party. I had wanted to lead the nice and intellectual Liberal party, but daddy, being a communist, insisted I become leader of the labour party.
    So here I am, in the very odd, very common, and sometimes quite violent ‘people’s republic of Islington.’ I don’t think they appreciate my particular speky genius as well as they should. Just this morning I was sitting in the common room with my friends..well..more acquaintances really..well..not even that..we just ..don’t have anyone else in the entire country who likes us..so we have to stick together..well..anyway..

    “Oi briefcase face” yelled JEd Balls at me. “Guess wot I don last night? Or should I say ‘who I dun?’

    “You should in fact say neither, ” replied Mill Mckenzie pushing his glasses up his nose. “Its who I did , not who I dun, and don’t call be briefcase face. I’m the leader of the labour party.”

    “Ok then. Guess who I did then, ” said JEd Balls. “I did her real good. Bent her right over like that and banged away right up her clunge.”

    “Was it Angela Eagles? ” Asked Neil Khan. Neil was a bit thick and quite slow. He was JEd Balls’ friend. Khan believed every one of JEd’s increasingly tall tales about the size of his growth. And where to find the endogenous zones.

    “How could it be Angela Eagles?” Asked Chuka. “She’s a lezza.” Chucka was Mill’s friend..sort of..well..really they just shared a geekiness quality.

    “Is she?” asked Khan?

    “yes! Everyone knows that.”

    “Well Ballsy is like a great big girl. So maybe she fancied him..was it her JEd?”

    “No!..Of course it wasn’t.”

    “I bet it was Caroline Flint. She’s easy. Even baby face Burnham has done her.”

    “No..I don’t think he did.” Said Khan. “I sit next to Liz Kendall in maths. And once she said to me ..”Watch it..here comes dickless…so..he ain’t got no knob has he?”

    “It was not Flint. I wouldn’t touch her with Mill’s. Right rank old moose..”

    “Was it Maria Eagles, then?”

    “NO! give over..I said a woman. Not the art class sculptures mishap pile”

    “Was it Chris Bryant? I bet it was! Did you cop off with ‘Skids’ ?” asked Neil eagerly.

    “We’re very inclusive in my new , Next generation Labour Party. I hope it was.” said Mill.

    “Fuck off! It wasn’t some bandit. I’m not a Chutney fancier…It was a female of the big bap variety.”

    “Was it Hilary Benn?” asked dimbo Sadiq.

    “NO! I..I ..just said it was a FEMALE.” called back Balls who was becoming red faced.

    “And she’s not a woman, then?”

    “NO? She’s not.” Sadiq looked confused. But then he always did so they ignored him.

    “Did you do Mountain Abbott? ” they all cheered.

    “No..I did not do the big Bishop..bloody hell. this is losing me the will to live.”

    “Really ?” said Mill. “Well don’t let us stop you..Has someone got a razor blade for JEd?”

    “ERm… I’ve got a skateboard..” said sadiq slowly..and he held out a board to JEd.

    “Look..cretins. Do you want to know who I was shafting good and proper? Want to know who was getting a portion of JEd’s Balls? The creamy topping treat?”
    Well I’ll tell you anyway. It was the economy. Dun her too fast and too deep. Done her over for ten long years in the treasury position. Moaned like a Guantanamo cavity search.”

    There was a dull silence.

    “So…it wasn’t Margaret Curran then?” asked Neil.

    “Oh For fuggs sake..It was a joke!!..I can’t be dealin’ with you.. I’m off. See ya you losers.”

    “Wait a minute! We haven’t discussed my proposals and plans for the Labour party conference.” Said Mill brightly, opening his briefcase and taking out sheaves of brightly paper clipped papers.

    ” I’ve drawn up a very tight schedule and there’s a lot of on message bullet points that you’ll need to remember. I thought this years theme could be ‘pre-distribution and the ‘acquiring vs retiring’ community. What do you think?”

    “Very uninspiring. I’m off.” Said Balls. ‘Coming Neil?”

    “yep..see ya Mill..Oh..I nearly forgot..Serwotka and McKluskey said that if you don’t agree to put up minimum wage to £27.67 by end of break-time they’re going to kick the living shit out of you. Well, see you later.”

    {Mill Mckenzie voiceover}
    And so once again my conference plans were in tatters…

    The SpinBetweeners

    Like

    • 280

      It is surreal that the only insight that I have had into the Inbetweeners, having departed the UK’s shores in 2007, is your parody.

      Still, I think I can imagine what it was really like.

      (It was a parody, wasn’t it Bill? Bill! Bill!)

      Like

    • 288
      Expat Geordie says:

      + loads

      You’re in the wrong job.

      Try Private Eye.

      Like

    • 348
      Twat in a Bottle says:

      Boring, boring, boring.

      Well it may be interesting but I can not be arsed to find
      out.

      This ain’t no place for diatribe.

      Like

    • 373
      Gordon says:

      The problem with that was that you cast milliwotsit as the sane, intelligent one. A big mistake.

      Like

  50. 211
  51. 213
    Ripper says:

    AND DAVE ISN’T LISTENING.

    Like

    • 220
      Dave the Rave, surrounded by criminals says:

      Leave me in peace

      I am having supper with Charlie and Rebekah and the Murdochs

      They are telling me all about the ten of millions I will “earn” when I finally get kicked out

      Like the rank of taxies for hire of the last Government

      And Jeremy Heywood has another ten million lined up for me, as well

      When MS have got over their mountain of lawsuits

      We are all in this together

      Like

  52. 214
    Bob Crow says:

    I doughnt lyke dat posetar!

    Like

  53. 217
    nellnewman says:

    In a way I feel sort of sorry for hapless militwit. He’s inherited a poisoned chalice.

    bliar the warmonger lied and took us into wars we shouldn’t have been in. Wars that have cost 100’s of thousands of lives and too many of our brave young men

    gormlessgordon trashed the economy and sold gold at brown bottom.

    labour ruined the social fabric by creating universal benefits for every feckless worthless human being who wanted to stay in bed all day and drink themselves slowly to death

    labour let in every lazy, uneducated, unskilled immigrant that came looking for gordon’s promise of an easy life

    bullyballs ruined the education system – dumbed it down so much we fell in the education tables to lower than even nor th kor ea.

    burnham ruined the nhs by drowning it in tick boxes and putting the needs of patients lower than the welfare of union bosses.

    And dear old militwit spent his life in the last labour government kow towing to every agw lie he could get close too so that gordon could pile on even more debilitating taxes

    I could go on – point is – their sins were too awful and too numerous to forget within the next 40 years. the uselessmilitwit will never be pm – we’ll never trust them until they have a complete change of personnel who are unconnected to the last disaster . It’ll be more than a generation before that happens.

    Like

  54. 224
    freddy the farting fish says:

    I also think that the word LABOUR should be in red, associating this warning, danger colour with LABOUR

    Like

    • 259
      freddy the farting fish says:

      yes I think “LABOUR” should always be in red, then in other stuff accent the danger, negativity of this colour, bleeding, balance sheet, whatever

      Like

  55. 227
    Captain Abu Hook says:

    I’m still here.

    Like

  56. 237
    Anonymous says:

    This poster is brilliant. I’ve reached that part of Saturday evening when I just want to have a bеег and look at some tits.

    Like

  57. 238
    Medipart correspondent says:

    Here is another coming scoop for you Guido

    “When Barclays financed money-laundering Paris arms dealer while eyeing business with Gaddafi

    © Reuters
    Barclays bank agreed a multi-million-euro loan to a Lebanese arms dealer now at the centre of a major French political corruption scandal despite its knowledge that his vast personal fortune was hidden from the tax authorities in money-laundering offshore companies, Mediapart can reveal. In a confidential document revealed here, a senior manager with the bank’s private client arm, Barclays Wealth, recommended the 13.6 million-euro loan with the avowed aim of using Ziad Takieddine (pictured) to help Barclays further its activities with the now-deposed regime of Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi.”

    This Takieddine has been indicted in France and is in the middle of multiple investigations…close to Barclays who were obviously trying to get at Ghaddafi’s billions at the same time they were money laundering, fiddling LIBOR,frauding and ripping off their clients and shareholders etc etc

    Like

  58. 254
    I hope Abu gets a warm, moist welcome in America says:

    If and when Abu Hamburger arrives at his American prison cell, I hope his cellmate turns out to be a big beefy steroid using criminal with a penchant for ramming hooks up muslim terrorists’ arseholes.

    Like

    • 260
      annette curton says:

      Doh!, you have just written another excuse for the brief of Hamzas lawyer as to why this person cannot be extradited, because it would be in his breach.

      Like

    • 376
      Blowing Whistles says:

      I wonder if we’ll ever find out how much the bleedin heart legal fraternity have made out of the litigation in keeping this hook handed criminal at “Liberty” in the UK [ShamiCherri Two-faced fork tongued ones!] – while many UK citizens have been robbed and thieved of their land, property, children and possessions?

      Like

  59. 266
    genghiz the kahn says:

    About time Labour got their Eds kicked in.

    Like

  60. 271

    An example of BBC reporting:

    Cornwall’s GPs ‘may care for 535,000 patients alone’

    I suspected something and looked up the population of Cornwall. Guess what? It is 535,000. Why could they not have said only one doctor was on duty in the whole of Cornwall?

    You know, I sometimes wonder if the BBC has an agenda…

    [note for researchers: Cornwall has 0 (zero) Labour constituencies.]

    Like

  61. 275
    freddy the farting fish says:

    sometimes I think, this is an amazing world I have been born into ( well I just say that but really I think that I have been here all the time) actually I think that the whole world came into existence when I was born, I ignore any information proving otherwise, therefore because I am so important I want to share my importance with everybody else and help them shape the society how I think it should be, with me at the helm of course.
    regards

    an MP

    love and kisses
    xxx

    Like

  62. 284
    freddy the farting fish says:

    so with the word LABOUR.

    a U could be a urinal because everybody understands that
    a B might be a pair of tits
    an O might be a smiley
    a R might be a footballer

    not sure precisely , probably there is a possibility to sum up LABOUR’S culture contribution years in pictograms

    Like

  63. 290
    satuday, shit vid nite says:

    Like

  64. 292
    Maxwell's Silver Hammer says:

    I see on the beeb web site that Nick Robinson has a piece entitled: “Is Ed Miliband a Churchill or an Attlee?”.

    Like

  65. 295
    Jack says:

    To continue the list of Labour Chamber of Horrors

    Tim Allan, Tony Blair’s deputy press director, founded Portland PR on leaving government

    He has since been spnning for the dictator Putin among others things

    http://www.holmesreport.com/news-info/12361/Kremlin-Mulls-Renewal-Of-Lucrative-Ketchum-PR-Mandate.aspx

    And Bad Alky Campbell has also joined him

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2012/may/23/alastair-campbell-pr-portland

    And Blair himself “advising the dictator of Kazakhstan etc…

    This Labour filth is never ending…

    Like

    • 418
      Mzzzzz. Hatefuelled HaHaHaPerson, the LieBore Gift that keeps on giving says:

      I’m certainly not ‘Past It’! I look on myself as Prime Minister in Waiting.

      Like

  66. 298
    Gordon Brown says:

    tonight I am mobalizing my Haribo Bear dancers

    Like

  67. 321
    Saffron says:

    This nasal brainless cretin who the union overpaid barons on easy street decreed would run Liebour/Communist on their terms is childish in the extreme.
    His grasp of how the wealth creators of this land from top to bottom and of who really provides the taxes to keep us going is frankly mind blowing and does show his lack of intelligence.
    Take a look at his family history and decide for yourselves as to his roots in this land.
    His party of choice have managed to undermine this country big time.
    Starting firstly with BLIAR who pulled every trick in the book and I won’t into it because you all must be aware of it.
    Then we got GORDOOM the most economically illiterate chancellor/prime minister in this countries history.
    This guy wrote a book on courage when he bottled an election that all the pundits thought he would have won.
    Also this guy of courage did’nt have the cojones to appear at the signing of the Lisbon Treaty,he sent D Milliprat instead.
    The LIEBOUR party since it’s conception has been an asshole of a party not worth oxegen.
    Tories,once a party with strong views of country,alas no longer with the likes of Cammoron and his ilk leading it.
    Lib Numupties,well what can I say about this non party other than band waggon jumpers of no real value.
    Finally can I say to do this country a real service WE NEED TO GET OUT OF THIS EUSSR PONZI SCHEME.

    Like

  68. 334
    Malcolm Wicks MP has died says:

    One of the very few unobjectionable Labour MPs. RIP.

    Like

  69. 337
    Blowing Whistles says:

    “BREAKING NEWS” – Red Ed announces his latest slogan to woo the faithful (?)

    “Ed you Cajun, Ed you Cajun, Ed you Cajun”

    They’re all nuts really.

    Like

    • 451
      AC1 says:

      IndoctriNation, IndoctriNation, IndoctriNation.

      Taking the state out of school provision should be task #1 for a proper conservative government.

      Like

  70. 341
    Take Your Prick says:

    Like

  71. 351
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

    Like

  72. 354
    Trigger says:

    Labour ain’t working, but neither are the BBC.. http://goo.gl/m2Tbu

    >Greater Manchester Police said that there was no racial element to the case, and that the main issue was older men exploiting vulnerable young women and girls.

    Pure luck/misfortune then?

    Like

  73. 368
    Is it a racist thing? says:

    How did a white middle class man and his teenage lover become public enimies number one, yet Asian grooming gangs are ignored?

    Like

  74. 378
    David Minibanana says:

    Like

  75. 381
    PC clitoris says:

    Labour nearly fucked the country Tory Toffs are intent on completing the job.

    Like

  76. 382
    Megan ♥ Jeremy: The True Story says:

    Sussex Filth: We’ve just rescued you from an eight-day ordeal with a rampant maths teacher. How are you feeling, Megan?

    Like

    • 383
      Megsy says:

      Literally, totally gutted.

      Like

    • 399
      Wot a Load of Bollocks says:

      How did the police get away with saying that he abducted her?

      Like

      • 403
        Fuck Nose says:

        Fuck cares. It’s all bollocks. I do feel sorry for the love-birds, though. They’ll end up “happily ever after” while Kate Burley is still slapping in the Polyfilla.

        Like

      • 414
        Ignoramous watch says:

        As with under age sex, the Law gives no power of “consent” to a child under 16. Therefore even if she “consented” to leave the country with him, the Law , ( not just the Police) but the Law considers it an abduction. Please try and prevent your ignorance from having you launch another ill considered attack on the Police, they are only applying the Law as it stands.

        Like

    • 425
      Mornington Crescent says:

      Is that you, CRMM? Whoever it is, best post/spoof ever.

      Like

      • 476

        No. It is not me. neither is the other poster using my moniker here.

        However I think that the series of posts from the first one down to E’s does highlight a very apt point about this whole episode. The life she was escaping to might well have been better than the one she was attempting to escape from.

        However, I have three huge proviso’s to this:

        1. A teacher has a fiduciary towards their charges which means an amorous relationship is not acceptable. Had he obtained a transfer to another school, then in my book, he could have shagged her arse off, subject to the (rather clumsy) law of the land. (In the States, the Age of Consent is a totally unrealistic 18.)

        2. The teacher walked out on the wife he had married just last year. Again, not good.

        3. The immaturity he has shown at all stages makes me wonder how he could have held his position at the school in the first place. I would not have wanted him to teach my daughter.

        Thanks for asking. I had wanted to comment but felt inhibited on a number of fronts. Now I have said it.

        Like

  77. 386
    The 2-Edded Monster says:

    Will they put their ‘eds together to solve the country’s problems? Or will they ‘ed for disaster, ‘ed first? Do they care?

    Like

  78. 406
    Grollace says:

    The poster is clearly wrong. Since it is Labour’s job to mess up the Economy I think quite a lot of learning HAS taken place, judging by the fact they ballsed up the Economy even bigger time than they ever managed in 1976.

    Like

  79. 407
    UKIP.i.am.awake says:

    All I have to say about the maths teacher and Megan is that it takes two to tangent.

    Like

  80. 408
    Vichy Dave, the Slippery TURF of Downing St. says:

    My future’s SAFE! – my future’s €USSR!

    Nothing else matters! Hah hahah hahahah ahh hah!

    Like

  81. 409
    Ed (i'm not my brothers seat warmer) REALLYBLAND says:

    Conferenth speech in Manchethter

    Whith all the exthtra money i will raisth from taxthing the bankerth(20 million )
    I will put all our young people back to work , create millionsth of jobthand pay off the defithit
    thith i can do ath Ed Ballth told me !

    Like

  82. 413
    Blair facial mannerisms evident as well says:

    Millibandwagon on full automaton mode.

    Ed ” blah blah blah, let me answer your question directly ”

    Marr ” I haven’t asked it yet !”

    Like

  83. 417
    Vichy Dave, the Slippery TURF of Downing St. trying to remember accidents when Roman Senators dined, says:

    I’ve invited Boris to lunch at Chequers. I just hope he doesn’t meet with an accident – like walking backwards into a knife held shoulder high – or eating some poisoned fruit!

    Like

  84. 420
    Yes we Ken says:

    Think that naughty Ed Balls deserves SIX of the best !!!!!

    Like

  85. 422
    @HeirToBlair says:

    Hi, Plebs! Naughty Minister has blown my Foreign Aid scam: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/9576399/Senior-Tory-accuses-EU-of-squandering-Britains-aid-budget.html If he goes on like this, I’ll put it up to 1% of GDP! Still, must go – Bozza coming to lunch. Ciao! #FuckingUpTheCountry

    Like

    • 448
      AC1 says:

      “Foreign Aid” I can’t see why this is any issue of the states and a proper* conservative government would make sure genuine charity was funding it rather than extortion.

      *i.e. Not Dave’s blue Labour party.

      Like

  86. 424
    Gordon Brown says:

    I shall go home and get my freakin’ shine box.

    Like

  87. 429
    valentino says:

    Wonderful interview with Straw on Sunday Politics. No sound [here] !
    Missed the honky-tonk piano playing in the background.

    Like

  88. 430
  89. 432
    The Flipside Of Dominick Hyde says:

    Like

  90. 433
    Lou Scannon says:

    What was it that HS2 was supposed to achieve ? I seem to have forgotten.

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/9576183/HS2-rail-line-could-be-re-routed-to-Heathrow.html

    Like

  91. 434
    nellnewman says:

    So now labour is telling us edmiliband is the best man for PM.

    They said gordonbrown was best man for PM until he was gone and then admitted they knew he was loopier than a fruit fly and an absolute danger to himself and everyone around him.

    So why should we trust their obviously dodgy judgement and penchant for lies this time?

    Like

  92. 447
    Aunty Matter says:

    I caught a bit of Militwat being interviewed (or was it having oral sex performed on him?) by Marr this morning.

    Not once did I hear Marr try to interrupt Militwat unlike when he’s got a Tory on but how on Earth can Militwat claim to be making a new start when he’s got Ed Testicles as his right hand man?

    No one will take Militwat seriously so long as the losers from the last failed Liebore regime (Balls, Harperson etc.) are still around.

    Like

  93. 456
    Can't get the staff. says:

    Why are teachers so thick these days?

    Even your average comprehensive drop out would not do a runner a foreign country and then apply for work in the English bars knowing that his mugshots were all over the English papers.

    They should have fled to Bradford and posed as a moslim with his uderage white trash.

    Like

    • 474
      A Mullah Writes says:

      Bradistan. He would certainly have got lost in the crowd disguised as a mullah, he could have happily nonced his brains out, no questions asked. With a bag over the slapper’s head nobody would have spotted the difference in that toilet. A flaw in the plan was going to France were it isn’t allowed.

      Like

  94. 470
    Conspiracy Theorist says:

    Conlibdemliebore, i’ts a consipiracy(even if I am paraniod, it doesn’t mean their not all out to destroy the country!) Next election may well be your last chance to teach this sack of shit a lesson!

    Like

  95. 473
    E=MC2 says:

    ‘Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result’. Like voting,Conlibdemliebore.

    Like

  96. 478
    welloilbeefhooked says:

    cam,gideon,gove,..unt ,hammond,letwin,slim pickles,clegg,may,all a waste of skin,shapps,laws,and all the rest of this set of zombies,kick them all out before they sell off what bits are left of this tortured country.

    Like

  97. 482
    lastofthesummervintage says:

    The stupid, feckless, uneducated, great unwashed will always vote for labour
    they cannot read, so rely on TV to tell wich way to vote. To busy watching iam a f***k whit politician get me out of her or was that westminister enders. Well you get the pictuer Plebs voting for F***k whits.

    Like

    • 485
      welloilbeefhooked says:

      I do,nt know or care who you vote for Vintage,but your illiteracy is quite frightening.Also have you considered anger management classes?

      Like

  98. 484
    I hate Blue Labour says:

    …and the Tories are still hopeless out-of-touch posh boys that were fortunate enough to have a rich mummy and daddy.

    So equally incompetent then.

    Like


Seen Elsewhere

Government Needs 10.6% Spending Cuts To Meet Target | IFS
What We Learned From the Referendum | FT
Scottish Crisis Moves South | Nick Wood
English Democrats Accidentally Celebrate Yes Victory | Pink News
Union In Its Current Form is Dead | Janan Ganesh
Labour Could Be Split in Two | Sun
Ashcroft Poll: Why Scotland Voted No | Buzzfeed
Boris: Change Barnett Formula | Sun
Cameron is Back | Dan Hodges
What Happens Now | James Kirkup
Cairo of the North | Quentin Letts


VOTER-RECALL
Find out more about PLMR


Diane Abbott on the Daily Politics:

“Labour MPs will unite behind Ed Miliband, once we find out what our policies are.”



cynic says:

Can anyone help me? I went on holiday a week ago and returned to find someone has pulled out the stake and Gordon Brown is back and acting as Prime Minister. What did I miss? Has there been a snap election?


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