September 28th, 2012

Gordon’s Reality Check

If the Prime Mentalist didn’t already know just how much everyone misses him, he will now. Gordon was supposed to speak at a press conference at the UN in New York last night but had to cancel after just one journalist turned up. McMental had hoped to enthrall a room of hacks with a speech about his latest schools initiative but was left red-faced when he was confronted with an empty room. It’s almost tragic. Almost…


  1. 1
    Taciturn Tim says:

  2. 2

    And the one hack who did turn up said ..

    “Awww shhhuccks! When the editor said go cover some angry, mentally unstable, shouty, sweary phone throwing limey,
    I thought it was gonna be that chef guy.”

  3. 3
  4. 4
    Nochblad says:

    And it was a Daily Telegraph journalist!

  5. 5
    Dave "Butch" Cameron says:

    Gordon had one more journalist than I usually have at No 10 Press Conference.

    What am I doing wrong ?

  6. 6
    Terrible But True says:

    Blimey, if the BBC didn’t charter its usual Gulfstream of freeloading eco-hypocrites to ‘cover’ what their US-based colleagues evidently also couldn’t drag themselves away from President Obama’s coat-tails to at least swing by to nod at on an obscure web page, it seems the saviour of the world has been pretty much deserted by even his most loyal and effective PR team.

    Not having sway on matters of self-interest can of course do that with high-integrity, professional, impartial, most-trusted media.

  7. 7
    god, i hate them so much says:

    come on, Guido, get Harriet a blog up of Harriet saying Jeremy C*unt on Question Time last night.

  8. 8
    god, i hate them so much says:

    ooops, who put that extra Harriet in there…

  9. 9
    Pollys Love Child says:

    He was after a free Nokia

  10. 10
    jgm2 says:

    Fucking hilarious.

    Loving the face-saving excuse he tried at the end…

    A spokesman for Mr Brown said he was on a panel with Aung San Suu Kyi and Queen Rania of Jordan “which overran.”

    Aye. He was too busy to go to his press conference which nobody showed up to.

    I imagine all the reporters had similar excuses. ‘Sorry, I had to go to an opening of a McDonalds..’ ‘Sorry, I was delayed, the football went to extra time..’ ‘Sorry, I was delayed, I was organising my canned goods alphabetically..’

    He had to come up with an excuse not to show up to his own press conference. Just like every body else.


  11. 11
    Afghanistan Banana Stand says:

    You need a heart of stone not to laugh

  12. 12
    god, i hate them so much says:

  13. 13
    Some Twat up North says:

    One too many turned up hahaha

  14. 14
    Mike Hunt says:

    It would be rude not to laugh.

  15. 15
    Peter Reynolds says:

    But skunk is LETHAL!

  16. 16

    Geroge Asaghoma, Janitor at the event, did have a suggestion for the former prime minister..

    “Hey Pally! Seein’ as you ain’t busywise right now..How about giving me a hand? I hears you is some kinda brains on broom and dust?”

  17. 17
    Squeaker, the Brown faGerbil says:

    Usually I have to listen to Gordon’s rants on my own.

  18. 18
    jgm2 says:

    I hope he apologised to the reporter who did show up for wasting his time.

  19. 19
    Steve Coogit says:

    I don’t own more than five houses. Certainly no more than five… maybe even less..but certainly no more…

  20. 20
    Roscoe Rules says:

    It’s Father Gordon in his piss soaked armchair.

  21. 21
    jgm2 says:

    Don’t give the incompetent fucker a broom. There wouldn’t be a window or a lightbulb left in the place by the time he’d finished.

  22. 22
    Journalist from Kirkcaldy says:

    Ah am pure annoyed ‘at Ah was th’ only a body ‘at turned up.
    Gordon paid fur me tae write a report in th’ local pepper.
    His office pays fur aw mah travellin’ expenses.
    It’s a pure guid earner, writin’ shite an’ gettin’ paid fur it.

  23. 23
    jgm2 says:

    ‘What would you say to some Prudence Gordon?’

    ‘Feck off Prudence’

  24. 24
    I Squiggle says:

    The real tragedy is that that one journalist thought he was coming to a news conference given by Chris Brown

  25. 25
    The Boss says:

    George, this floor is frankly kinda filthy…..the vacuum is bollixed and it looks like some bum’s been drinking the Mr Janitor.

  26. 26
    Steve Miliband says:

    Gordon and Al are experts at finding broom cupboards. Cue u tube clip…

  27. 27 says:

    The journalist thought he was going to see Chubby Brown.

  28. 28
    jgm2 says:

    It was toilet duck…

  29. 29
    Religion: God's curse on Mankind says:

    Last seen running round the kitchen shouting ” Omaha, Omaha !!”

  30. 30
    Richard the Stoneheart says:

    ..snnn..snork…titter…phwapphh..schnarrkk…Ahhhhh! AhAHAHHAHHA! HAHAHHAA! What a twat! Hahahahhah…heee..oh..tears ..tears in my eyes..i’m blind..hahhahahaha! I can’t breathe..ohh…hooo.

  31. 31
    Roscoe Rules says:

    Is that a Nokia being thrown at Mrs Doyle?

  32. 32
    Tuscan Tony says:

    I would like to know the name of the monging mong that did turn up: what was he or she expecting to learn? Let’s hope they were fired for poor judgement.

  33. 33
    Religion: God's curse on Mankind says:

    At least his children were happy.

  34. 34
    The UN Special Envoy for Fuck-Knows-What-All, having Fucked-Up all he’s touched so far says:

    Ah sav’d tha wul’d – ah deed! – an nuthn’s ma fult’ ye un’stn!

  35. 35
    Anonymous says:

    ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

  36. 36
    Aung San Suu Kyi says:

    Please stop doing that, Mr Brown. It’s not nice and people might see you.

  37. 37
    Religion: God's curse on Mankind says:

    Will there be more at his funeral?

  38. 38
  39. 39
    Lou Scannon says:

    Probably hoping to get signed up by the Mets after catching it.

  40. 40
    Sarah Brown, founding Chair of the Global Business Coalition for Education says:

    He’s My Hero!!!

  41. 41
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    What a silly comment, almost heart-breaking in it’s utter inadequacy.

  42. 42
    Lizzie says:

    Amusing that not even the Guardian could be bothered to send someone!

  43. 43
    Liarpoliticians says:

    Gordon Brown is a nutter that does not like fair competition to the Ponzi Fiat currencies the G20 central banks are trashing, smashing savers and pandering to borrowers (like the government) and anyone with any kind of financial debt (including the government).

    Bloody Keynesian economic arsonist!

  44. 44
    Aunty Matter says:

    Where was the BBC and Guardian then?

  45. 45

    And I suppose if you stay close to the Jonah, the curse strikes once you’ve gone.
    You might be in the safest place, journalist from Kirkcaldy

  46. 46
    Queen Rania of Jordan says:

    This glass of icy water should cool himdown.

  47. 47
    Liarpoliticians says:

    “And the one hack who did turn up said ..”

    Sorry, I got the wrong room!

  48. 48
    Gordon Brown says:

    Today I was mobbed by adoring American fans demanding souvenirs of my visit they went away pleased as punch with my credit cards and wrist watch

  49. 49
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Very good, Sir Bill, but obviously pearls before swine this morning.

  50. 50
    Airey Belvoir says:

    Compared with Silent Bob, you are a motormouth, Tim. Try and keep it brief, we don’t have all day to read your outpourings.

  51. 51
    Anonymous says:

    Not tragic at all, he deserves far more pain than just a blow to his ego.

  52. 52

    Now now TT. You know how it works.
    The lowliest stringer always gets sent to cover the Parish council meeting, the W.I. jam pot covering and the visit of the former Prime Mentalist.

  53. 53
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    You’re no different to the bulk of the MSM then.

  54. 54
    “Butch” Cameron and the mock chancellor, kidding, says:

    We’re a pair!

  55. 55
    Sid says:

    who are these spotty liebore nutters who do not care about the country?

  56. 56
    you mean? says:

    Camertwat has more than one?

  57. 57
    The Tulchan Stratocaster says:

    Nobody is interested in Gordon Brown apart from mental health clinicians who must have a field day with the troubles in his mind.

  58. 58
    I don't need no doctor says:

    QT last night.
    Steve Coogan, now that’s what I call a chip on his shoulder. What an arsehole.
    Harman, fairness, Jack Dromey parachuted into an all women safe seat. Private education. The woman is a tosser and scrounger from the tax payer.

  59. 59
    ed martin says:

    is the comedy in the contrast?

    cameron – a bankrupt lecturing on the evils of poverty – full audience


    brown – a nutter lecturing on the evils of ignorance – audience of one

    which is the greater of two weevils?

  60. 60
    UKIP convert says:

    Lets hope that Milliepeed the Minor promotes McMental to a front row position for the 2015 GE, he will do wonders for them. LOL……..

    Ed has just finished the last chapter of his new book, which he is certain will be a
    best seller its called The economics of Brotherly Love in the 21st Century

    VOTE >>>>>>>>>> U K I P>>>>>> on 15 NOV ’12 >>>>>> VOTE UKIP

  61. 61

    “George..I’m gonna have to let the new guy go.”

    “What? But Mr Zafferelli, ‘Rain Man’ is do’in real good. He got all the rats to leave!”

    “I’m sorry George. But that man is a communist!”

  62. 62
    Oh bugger, I deleted all my cookies says:


  63. 63
    Afghanistan Banana Stand says:

    If the Maximum Imbecile apologised in person, that reporter had better have excellent life insurance…
    He’s already attended a cursed press conference.
    A close up with The Gorgon could finish him for good.

  64. 64
    Scratch a libertarian, find a right-wing statist says:

    Is that the record of Brown’s surgeries, debates, actual public service? Who needs ‘em, when you can afford to piss about in New York?

    One of the sleaziest things John Major did while in office was set up the slush fund to keep ex-PM’s in this delusional condition.

    Time to cut Gord’s unbilical cord.

  65. 65
    harryg says:

    he should have the dignity of john major and while out his years watching caber tossing or drinking buckfast

  66. 66
    Polly Kettle-On says:

    The hack was from ‘DVD Reviewer Today’ wanting to know if Godrun had finally watched all of the discs Obumble had given him a few years ago.

  67. 67
    ed martin says:

    and so pay all of us

  68. 68
    Sarge says:

    ‘In politics, absurdity is not a handicap’

  69. 69
    William of Ockham says:

    Someone tipped them off that he wasn’t going to answer “Curse of Jonah” questions, as to why the Dow Jones took a nosedive, for example, and other such reverse-Midas-touch instances, and so they all decided “What’s the point, then?”

    The simplest explanation is often the best one, innit: He’s got nothing to say that anybody wants to hear.

  70. 70
    maggie the dog says:

    If only I was there to take the p*ss

  71. 71
    Dr Nuts says:

    The problem with QT is it is so predictable, so we knew Hunt would be raised as an issue.
    And of course there had to be an attack on the Catholic Church while nobody could bring themselves to mention Islam.
    But Wifey and I were attending with a decent TV set, so got clear sound, and she did say HUNT.
    Non story based on poor sound reception/recording!

  72. 72
    Dr Nuts says:

    Non story – the sound recording is clipped for less used frequencies during compression – result – poor sound recording!
    Also listen to the hiss… says it all really!

    I’d criticise Harmperson if it’s due, but not this time.

  73. 73
    CT says:

    Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy!

  74. 74
    Hang The Bastards says:


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