Friday Caption Contest (Zombie Labour Edition)
Muslim Led Military-Style Free School Needed | Toby Young
Green Leader Blames Terror Attacks on Britain | Asa Bennett
ABC Online Figures for Newspaper Websites | MediaGuido
Why Won’t Obama Acknowledge Islamist Reality? | Nile Gardiner
£1.3 Billion Extra Raised Since Top Tax Rate Cut | Telegraph
In Search of Swivel-Eyed Loons | Speccie
EU Tries to Ban Conker Trading | Telegraph
Coked-Up Celebs and Vengeful Politicians | Press Gazette
What We Don’t Know About the Woolwich Attack | Dan Hodges
Woolwich Terrorists Were Al-Qaeda’s Children | Jeremy Havardi
Is Interpol Helping the Villains? | Peter Oborne
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Nigel Farage hits the nail on the head:
“This olive oil ban was virgin on the ridiculous.”
Bill Quango MP says:
Ned Flanders – Clegg
Lisa Simpson – Natalie Bennett
Milhouse – Hilary Benn
Martin Prince – Andy Burnham
Edna Krabappel – Luciana Berger
Crazy Cat Lady – Glenda jackson
Comic book guy – John Prescott
Carl – Chucka
Lenny – Philip Hammond
Willie – Eric joyce
Poochie – Gordon Brown
Reverend Lovejoy – Tony Blair
Yup let me guess Mark and Rich cartoon , who are they
Take us to our leader!
John and Yvette misunderstood their party’s policy to deliberately flood the country with aliens….
Prezza: We’re fooked if we do, loov, an we’re fooked if we don’t, so howsabout…
DEVIL EYES
New BBC Cops Series:
Bonkers & Bulimic
Yvette says: John, you are a morbidly obese, stupid, greedy, psychopathic bully unable to form normal adult relationships and utterly clueless when it comes to economic policy ~ are you Ed’s real dad?
what a horrific image that is …. ascerbic little rat squeezing up to the original slob reptile
Mrs. Balls to Mr. Chipolata: Ooh John, your finger is going too far and too fast…
I’s spys with our little eyes something beginning with…..
“C’mon John, take your dentures out too!”
Yvette: “You’ve just slipped your finger up my crack”
John: “Only because you’ve stopped stroking my ego”
Red tie at night, Zombies delight
We are just good fiends.
Get your hand out – you’re not Andrew Marrs, and a woman hold her liquor by his ears…..
Couldn’t have had Brown in that shot – no eyes.
Filming starts on Lord of the Rings sequel
a voice: we are zombies..take us to our masters, the barons.
an echo: we are zombies..take us to our masters, the super.rich.
all quiet: we are public servants , let the public pay for us.
“Lady boy and Sleazebag” New Labour’s favourites to appear in “I’m a
non-entity get me out of here”.
“The Eyes have it!”
Bloody hell billy…that is actually funny!
Nice one Billy!
Nice one B8lly! (I was modded for typing the the unmentionable first name correctly!).
That’s quite good Bil
Nice one B*l.ly.
Not first this time though William. You must be losing it.
Invasion of the booty snatchers
Invasion of the snatch snatchers.
We need brains, not Balls
What a pair of hideous waxworks!
Madame Tussauds unveils Mr and Mrs Balls
We are the new generation.
for some reason, that image frightens the bejesus out of me
Prescott and schoolgirl caught on cctv at Dover.
2 Jags pursues totty in outer space.
Ed Miliband thinks
“A brick wall…just a brick wall…keep …my …mind…on the ..brick wall…”
A bit highbrow for here. Neat though.
I always was a cut above the rest
Versatile chap – I hadnt realised it was him in that – I tend to think of him as tiger in Jungle Book
The eyes have it; the eyes have it
The cuts commission .. coming to a community near you!
MP-grafting experiment goes horribly wrong resulting in mutant zombie
Yes — Gordon — we — are — ready — to — do — your — bidding –
Scary Waxworks on show at Madame Tussauds…
New Ed Balls waxwork goes horribly wrong.
I know, but you married him
prezza & yvette struck dumb by vision of labour’s dismal future.
Go on, Son, say Trescott; say chitolata Son. Go on then, say gottle o gear.
Who ate all the brain?
Who ate all the brains?
You fat bastard,
You fat bastard,
You ate all the brains!
With my bust and your brains…….
Excellent
It’s a well known fact that zombies are unable to apologise for the things they have destroyed.
Dumb and Dumber!
And sleep. When you wake up you will trust Labour with the economy…
John Terry guilty of racially abusing Ferdinand.
Terry claims he was repeating what Ferdinand said.
So Terry can accuse Ferdinand of racism?
(Racist against your own race; is there a law against it?)
“Brains!…Brains!…We need brains!…Because we don’t have any of our own.”
It was then that people started paying attention to David Ike’s claims about the Lizard People.
Gordon arrives as The Ghost of Christmas Past”
Unplug em I think they are charged up now.
EXTERMINATE…..EXTERMINATE!
We will be back.
I am unable to see the picture, but from the comments everyone else is making would guess that it is a picture of a couple of the very best people the socialists of our nation have to offer.
Invasion of the Body Snatchers. They look better in the original monochrome.
I think these contacts go in the other way.
Faces made for radio.
Labour start cloning process to populate safe seats
Yvette plunged her left arm into Prescott’s chest cavity and gripped his cancerous, hating, socialist heart as they fantasised about new tax increases
Brilliant!!!
The best of a very good bunch.
scary scary scary
DO NOT LOOK INTO THEIR EYES – IT’S the new Labour mind control vote inducing tactic. One look & you’ll vote Labour without even knowing!
Exterminate! Exterminate!
Pardon 34. Fools think alike
Expenses. Expenses. We.. see.. expenses..
The moment it was realised that austerity measures shouldn’t apply to the purchasing of politicians’ internal batteries
The next couple on Strictly
The dance steps are left left left left left
Suspicions form that the Prescott who went to China was not the same as the one who came back.
Finalists in the Savile Row ( no not the Savile row ) competition.
This is a Labour car keys party weekend, right?
Prezza: Are my balls on the same level as yours?
Zombie Yvette: John, is that a chipolata in your pocket!
John: I can’t get the wood, you know…
Elf and Safeseat
Your desk or mine ?
Ladyboy party.
They breed in the dark and hide their young.
They watched the TV in horror, realising that their policies had crashed the economy and made poor people poorer.
Their plan ‘that their policies had crashed the economy and made poor people poorer’ so they had a permanent population that would keep voting them into power is finally exposed.
They watched in horror as voters realized ‘that their policies’ which had made ‘poor people poorer’ had been found out, and they would be tarred and feathered and sent to Coventry
What have the good people of Coventry,(both of them), done to deserve that?
And when I snap my fingers you will have completely forgotten about 1997 to 2010.
It never happened.
Snap
“Why you bloody liar! You said the contact lenses were rose-tinted!”
They have both got their hands up each other’s arses struggling in vain to find the non-existent controls.
Invaders from the planet Zog finally exposed.
I didn’t know there were two 60s in Arabic mathematical notation….
Stewards’ Inquiry– hold all tickets…
This is the voice of The Mysterons.
Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the polling booth! Aaaagggghh
Proof that Labour couldn’t organise a wife swapping party.
Proof that Westworld had sex androids for every taste.
Prezza is actually better looking than Balls’s bitch
Scary but true.
hooker and tight head prop.
Yvette: Do you think my mouth is too small?
Prezza: Not for me, love
Wankers , go blind.
The prize winners of the ”Audience with the United Nations Special Envoy for Global Education” looked non plussed
I told you so
Prescott made to look good
Labour’s version of A-list.
The Stepford
WivesMPsLook into my eyes, look into the eyes, the eyes, the eyes, not around the eyes, don’t look around the eyes, look into my eyes (clicks fingers)… you’re under, You will now Vote Labour…. , 3, 2, 1, and you’re back in the room.
I think its working, Yvette. Worth another go.
“You will forget we screwed up the economy.
You will forget the massive recession we created and the massive debts we left behind.
You will forget we turned a blind eye to Murdoch and the banks. You will forget we cocked up on immigration.”
Piece of cake. Which reminds me, time for a snack.
This is the way we are going to get around the tougher postal vote regulations.
Robot labour voters!
Blurb on poster for the film “Zombie Flesheaters” – “WHEN THERE’S NO MORE ROOM IN HELL, THE EARTH WILL SPIT OUT THE DEAD TO EAT THE LIVING.”
Very appropriate for these two deadbeat troughers, feasting off taxpayers.
Day of the dud
Both thinking…. how do I end up in a photo-shoot with him.
“Hey Yvette luv…next time you and Bollocks boy want to flip your second tax payer funded house…l still have that dodgy credit card Tony gave me in 2007….l’ll let you have it for a quick fumble…..
just don’t tell our Pauline….oh, and our Tracy”
Radioactive leak at Madame Tussauds.
Don’t blink.. he’ll think we’re mimicking him
NHS Direct: “I’ve searched all of our data and it seems the traditional cure for this type of phenomenon is a silver bullet to the heart “
Lord Prescott and Mrs Balls demonstrating they quite obviously are NOT the inspiration for “Jack Spratt could eat no fat, his wife could eat no lean…”, at a photo-op attended by more than just one…
They look much better upside down.
*Don’t try this at home*
Keep staring…he’ll blink first.
Straw, Dromey, Blair…………..
Comm’n lad, ..Use the Red-Ed-Eye
Prescott: “I know I said I wanted somebody with a lot of Balls on my PCC campaign team Yvette, but not somebody who’s married to one who talks lots of it!”
Is it the one on the right is pregnant and the one on the left is trying to deny paternity?
Possibly the weakest Friday Caption ever – Tory HQ on to Guido this morning.
All the possible option missed
*Mitchell
*Dave on Letterman
*Bonkers Boris mouthin off as usual
*Cockson and Brookes
*Lib Dum Conference
…all seemingly never happened….LOL
This is about humour. You wouldn’t understand. Come back on the next page and it will all be OK.
How can the light that burned so brightly
Suddenly burn so pale?
Three Balls, three twats.
Tandem Sybian machine not deemed to be a success.
I didn’t know Ian Hislop did a drag act.
Looks like, Cat and her act.
If we lay head to toe in the centre of the road……….
As the couple peer down the gloom of the corridor..
“..Is that Gordon?…Why is he wearing a gingham dress and holding a sock puppet penguin?..What’s that he’s saying ? Mr Flibble is going to fry us alive with his hex vision?”
The Twilight Saga : Breaking wind – a new dawn part 2
Get yer hand up my arse and put a sparkle in my eye
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-19757460
Sorry, can’t be true, the BBC and Jack Straw said it only ever happened in Rochdale and nowhere else. It is NOT a cultural thing – just a little abberation.
What do you get when you catch Red Ed’s wife flirting with a door-to-door salesman?
A dead-ringer called Three Shags!
Left: “Ballllsssss, ballssssssss I’ve et ballssssss”
Right: “urghhhhh, no brains… no brains….. least I’ve got plenty of weight to drop before the lack of brains becomes an issue”
Yvette forgets to brush hair after doing the nasty.
Cameron Diaz would know what to do.
Could this be a Times exposure?
Too late now. We went into this with our eyes wide open.
I thought you said security left at seven.
Not the first time that Prezza has been conjoined in utero.
Waiting for the next erection….once every 5 years.
“I can’t eat it and I wouldn’t screw it” muttered Lord Prescott glumly.
Prezza nails Labour split.
Conjoined twins novelty act a big hit.
Lunch!
Ed Balls’ stripogram wows colleagues at Labour Party Conference.
Mine eyes have seen the glory of COMING of the Lord
Yvette: I said have you got any condoms, not ConDems…
Close Encounters of the Turd KInd.
Give the magic beans back Tintin
CFCM thank God.
using their microwave vision Zorga and Zelda warmed up the pies
Yvette: I expected crackers but have only now discovered your nuts.
Give up 133′s the winner.
But 113 below is the sort of title Guido likes
Very bad form to vote for yourself.
Self praise is no praise.
Roswell was true after all !
Mrs Balls forgets to turn her light off whilst appearing on Celebrity Take Me Out
+ 100
Tracey love you’ve changed to Terence.
Don’t worry luv, we can Instagram it later
The next couple on Strictly
The dance steps are anything the Onions tell us to do
See that egg… its coming towards me
“Yvette, if we can have one serious photograph first, we can then get some of us posing outside a Police Station and near a broken window. They’ll look great on my election leaflets.”
Prezza: “If I gently squeeze her left buttock, she starts talking about the economy; while if I do the same to her right buttock, she starts talking about immigration. I haven’t tried anything higher yet.”
So Prezza went for the economic migrant’s option?
Missing 15 year old found with older man
Boys cling to Cliff all night.
Manchurian Global announce the winners of their ‘Parliamentarians of the Year’ award.
The simply catastrophic consequence of Channel 4 News sharing the same green room with Drugs Live.
“My God John, your thumb feels like a really big butt plug in my arse, but look at how the sun still shines out of Tony’s”
You’re right, Yvette. These Pleb-Blindness contact lenses really do make your husband look less of an Oik.
Yvette asks: ‘Is that a croquet stick or are you just pleased to see me?’
The zombie apocolypse was averted when Prezza was converted and ate everybody else….
The things you see when you haven’t got your gun…
Hammer Films Revival continues apace…….
“..and I want frickin lasers in their frickin EYES…”
The least popular swingers advert in history.
Olive Oil and Bluto looked on coldly as the shark swallowed Popeye
They are all my own work and there are many more.
So this will really make us believe Ed is a good leader, will it, Derren?
Mistook you for a moment…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Dummett
Channel 4 Documentary on the effects of ecstasy highlights the danger of playing politics with drugs!
CUT !
” the odd couple is comedy not a zombie flick “
Dumb and Dumber!
Cooper looks like a macho version of Louis Walsh.
New Labour – new danger
Madame Tussards must be running out of people of interest these days
Thaz a bigger pair of balls than us luv !
EXCLUSIVE: French Mag prints photos of Prescott with Balls in his hands.
Mrs P had missed the bus and so returned home earlier than expected.
Curse of the Liebore undead
If this fat bastard doesn’t get his hand off my arse, I’ll vapourise him with my deathstare.
Yvette and John were not as enthusiastic as Pauline and Ed at the Labour Conference Swingers Party! (Photo cropped for reasons of taste and decency)
Foresight and HindSight
Yvette and John were not as enthusiastic as Pauline and Ed at the Labour Conference Swingers Party!
I can’t… I feel so sick it’s impossible even to think.
In order to prevent adults and children from having nightmares and puking up at the sight of them – Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader have been asked to replace their normal full-body uniforms.
We’ve had Plan A, now Labour reveal their new plan for the economy.
50 stones of gray
The world’s only mute, siamese twins, Von and Jon, making a rare press appearance.
Cooper – “Take me to your leader”.
Prescott – “Sod that. Take me to your larder”.
Y Balls and EYEballs?
Sorry it’s late (busy day and alcohol was consumed – lots)
but WTF it’s still Friday.
We are Liebour. Resistance is futile.
“Yvette Balls”. “I’ve ate pies”.
HEALTH WARNING.
Blow up ladyboys can seriously damage your eyesight.
Pauline! It’s not how it seems…
I’d seriously give her a good going over, every hole available and then have her swallowing the hangmans salty mouthwash. Knew someone who looked just like her who went like a rabbit on speed. Is she a screamer or the silent type?
Him, don’t know what I’d do, but it would be long and painful maybe the rams horn and the red hot poker where the sun don’t shine for a starter, but her, she’d get it morning noon and night and not the rams horn.
Take your finger out of my bum, John and l’ll take mine out of yours
No, John Bravebelly, your pledge list is not up there.
The latest Cyberdyne systems Terminators are returned after being found defective.
sex change operation goes horribly wrong
breast reduction surgery spawns half-human lifeform
Brains!!??
That Harriet Harman is a daft bitch who spouts inconsistent rubbish. She should be put down, the hard way…
Major’s much mocked ‘demon eyes’ prediction from 1997 is demonstrated to be true…
Major’s much mocked ‘demon eyes’ prediction from 1997 is demonstrated to be true…
Thank’s for all the kind comments. I am only glad I never had to left hook any of you plebs for trying to spoil my smart suit, with your plebish egg and rotten fruit throwing, which distracts me from important things like all the free pies. NOW were are they, I’ve not eaten for an hour………
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/labour/9577876/Secret-police-probe-into-Labour-MPs-500000.html
“Return of the Midwich Cuckoos”