September 28th, 2012

Friday Caption Contest (Zombie Labour Edition)


  1. 1
    John Johnson says:

    Yup let me guess Mark and Rich cartoon , who are they

  2. 2
    Selohesra says:

    Filming starts on Lord of the Rings sequel

    • 51
      Anonymous says:

      a voice: we are zombies..take us to our masters, the barons.
      an echo: we are zombies..take us to our masters, the
      all quiet: we are public servants , let the public pay for us.

    • 184
      Phil says:

      “Lady boy and Sleazebag” New Labour’s favourites to appear in “I’m a
      non-entity get me out of here”.

  3. 3
    Kebab Time says:

    “The Eyes have it!”

  4. 4

    Invasion of the booty snatchers

  5. 5
    Anonymong says:

    We need brains, not Balls

  6. 6
    J . Lewis-List says:

    What a pair of hideous waxworks!

  7. 7
    Steve Miliband says:

    Madame Tussauds unveils Mr and Mrs Balls

  8. 8
    Mike Hunt says:

    We are the new generation.

  9. 9
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Prescott and schoolgirl caught on cctv at Dover.

  10. 10
    Nina says:

    2 Jags pursues totty in outer space.

  11. 12

    Ed Miliband thinks

    “A brick wall…just a brick wall…keep …my …mind…on the ..brick wall…”

  12. 13
    Religion: God's curse on Mankind says:

    The eyes have it; the eyes have it

  13. 14
    Anonymous says:

    The cuts commission .. coming to a community near you!

  14. 15
    Dr. Frankenstein says:

    MP-grafting experiment goes horribly wrong resulting in mutant zombie

  15. 16
    Scrotum says:

    Yes — Gordon — we — are — ready — to — do — your — bidding –

  16. 17
    wordpress blogger says:

    Scary Waxworks on show at Madame Tussauds…

  17. 18
    Alvin Dayman says:

    New Ed Balls waxwork goes horribly wrong.

  18. 19
    Martin says:

    I know, but you married him

  19. 20
    nellnewman says:

    prezza & yvette struck dumb by vision of labour’s dismal future.

  20. 21
    Mr Natural says:

    Go on, Son, say Trescott; say chitolata Son. Go on then, say gottle o gear.

  21. 22
    RMogs says:

    Who ate all the brain?
    Who ate all the brains?
    You fat bastard,
    You fat bastard,
    You ate all the brains!

  22. 23
    Mickey Dripping says:

    With my bust and your brains…….

  23. 24
    The Hand That Rocks The Cradle says:

    It’s a well known fact that zombies are unable to apologise for the things they have destroyed.

  24. 25
    Ed Balls says:

    Dumb and Dumber!

  25. 26
    Teapot says:

    And sleep. When you wake up you will trust Labour with the economy…

  26. 27
    Taking the middle road says:

    John Terry guilty of racially abusing Ferdinand.

    Terry claims he was repeating what Ferdinand said.

    So Terry can accuse Ferdinand of racism?

    (Racist against your own race; is there a law against it?)

  27. 28
    I don't like Labour says:

    “Brains!…Brains!…We need brains!…Because we don’t have any of our own.”

  28. 29
    IanVisits says:

    It was then that people started paying attention to David Ike’s claims about the Lizard People.

  29. 31
    Geordieboy says:

    Gordon arrives as The Ghost of Christmas Past”

  30. 32
    Some Twat up North says:

    Unplug em I think they are charged up now.

  31. 34
    Prescott's Ringpiece says:


  32. 35
    Wigner's Friend says:

    We will be back.

  33. 37
    The talent pool is cloudy today says:

    I am unable to see the picture, but from the comments everyone else is making would guess that it is a picture of a couple of the very best people the socialists of our nation have to offer.

  34. 38

    I think these contacts go in the other way.

  35. 39
  36. 40
    Steve Miliband says:

    Labour start cloning process to populate safe seats

  37. 41
    The Hand That Rocks The Cradle says:

    Yvette plunged her left arm into Prescott’s chest cavity and gripped his cancerous, hating, socialist heart as they fantasised about new tax increases

  38. 42
    Mrs Entity says:

    scary scary scary
    DO NOT LOOK INTO THEIR EYES – IT’S the new Labour mind control vote inducing tactic. One look & you’ll vote Labour without even knowing!

  39. 43
    illogical says:

    Exterminate! Exterminate!

  40. 44
    Afghanistan Banana Stand says:

    Expenses. Expenses. We.. see.. expenses..

  41. 45
    content kid says:

    The moment it was realised that austerity measures shouldn’t apply to the purchasing of politicians’ internal batteries

  42. 46
    Anonymous says:

    The next couple on Strictly

    The dance steps are left left left left left

  43. 47

    Suspicions form that the Prescott who went to China was not the same as the one who came back.

  44. 48
    Mickey Dripping says:

    Finalists in the Savile Row ( no not the Savile row ) competition.

  45. 50

    This is a Labour car keys party weekend, right?

  46. 52

    Prezza: Are my balls on the same level as yours?

  47. 53
    Steve Miliband says:

    Elf and Safeseat

  48. 54
    Rupert my Hero says:

    Your desk or mine ?

  49. 55
  50. 56
    Loungelizard says:

    They breed in the dark and hide their young.

  51. 57
    The Hand That Rocks The Cradle says:

    They watched the TV in horror, realising that their policies had crashed the economy and made poor people poorer.

    • 73
      Legal Crook says:

      Their plan ‘that their policies had crashed the economy and made poor people poorer’ so they had a permanent population that would keep voting them into power is finally exposed.

      • 109
        Erns says:

        They watched in horror as voters realized ‘that their policies’ which had made ‘poor people poorer’ had been found out, and they would be tarred and feathered and sent to Coventry

  52. 58
    illogical says:

    And when I snap my fingers you will have completely forgotten about 1997 to 2010.
    It never happened.

  53. 59
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    “Why you bloody liar! You said the contact lenses were rose-tinted!”

  54. 60

    They have both got their hands up each other’s arses struggling in vain to find the non-existent controls.

  55. 60
    Legal Crook says:

    Invaders from the planet Zog finally exposed.

  56. 62
    Captain Scarlet says:

    This is the voice of The Mysterons.

  57. 64
    Loungelizard says:

    Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the polling booth! Aaaagggghh

  58. 65
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Proof that Labour couldn’t organise a wife swapping party.

  59. 66
    H Shandy says:

    Proof that Westworld had sex androids for every taste.

  60. 68
    Aunty Matter says:

    Prezza is actually better looking than Balls’s bitch

  61. 69
    Anonymous says:

    hooker and tight head prop.

  62. 70
    Anti Fabian says:

    Yvette: Do you think my mouth is too small?

    Prezza: Not for me, love

  63. 72
    gramma says:

    Wankers , go blind.

  64. 74
    Steve Miliband says:

    The prize winners of the ”Audience with the United Nations Special Envoy for Global Education” looked non plussed

  65. 76
    David Icke says:

    I told you so

  66. 77
    Steve Miliband says:

    Prescott made to look good

  67. 78

    Labour’s version of A-list.

  68. 79
    Nullbymouth says:

    The Stepford Wives MPs

  69. 80 says:

    Look into my eyes, look into the eyes, the eyes, the eyes, not around the eyes, don’t look around the eyes, look into my eyes (clicks fingers)… you’re under, You will now Vote Labour…. , 3, 2, 1, and you’re back in the room.

    • 95
      John Prestwat says:

      I think its working, Yvette. Worth another go.

      “You will forget we screwed up the economy.

      You will forget the massive recession we created and the massive debts we left behind.

      You will forget we turned a blind eye to Murdoch and the banks. You will forget we cocked up on immigration.”

      Piece of cake. Which reminds me, time for a snack.

  70. 81

    This is the way we are going to get around the tougher postal vote regulations.

    Robot labour voters!

  71. 82

    Blurb on poster for the film “Zombie Flesheaters” – “WHEN THERE’S NO MORE ROOM IN HELL, THE EARTH WILL SPIT OUT THE DEAD TO EAT THE LIVING.”

    Very appropriate for these two deadbeat troughers, feasting off taxpayers.

  72. 83
    Mickey Dripping says:

    Both thinking…. how do I end up in a photo-shoot with him.

  73. 84
    Tom Baldwin's coke says:

    “Hey Yvette luv…next time you and Bollocks boy want to flip your second tax payer funded house…l still have that dodgy credit card Tony gave me in 2007….l’ll let you have it for a quick fumble…..

    just don’t tell our Pauline….oh, and our Tracy”

  74. 85

    Radioactive leak at Madame Tussauds.

  75. 86
    Mickey Dripping says:

    Don’t blink.. he’ll think we’re mimicking him

  76. 87

    NHS Direct: “I’ve searched all of our data and it seems the traditional cure for this type of phenomenon is a silver bullet to the heart “

  77. 88
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Lord Prescott and Mrs Balls demonstrating they quite obviously are NOT the inspiration for “Jack Spratt could eat no fat, his wife could eat no lean…”, at a photo-op attended by more than just one…

  78. 90

    They look much better upside down.

    *Don’t try this at home*

  79. 91
    Mickey Dripping says:

    Keep staring…he’ll blink first.

  80. 92
    Steve Miliband says:

    Straw, Dromey, Blair…………..

  81. 93

    Comm’n lad, ..Use the Red-Ed-Eye

  82. 94
    Peter Grant says:

    Prescott: “I know I said I wanted somebody with a lot of Balls on my PCC campaign team Yvette, but not somebody who’s married to one who talks lots of it!”

  83. 97

    Is it the one on the right is pregnant and the one on the left is trying to deny paternity?

  84. 98
    Moussa Koussa says:

    Possibly the weakest Friday Caption ever – Tory HQ on to Guido this morning.

    All the possible option missed

    *Dave on Letterman
    *Bonkers Boris mouthin off as usual
    *Cockson and Brookes
    *Lib Dum Conference

    …all seemingly never happened….LOL

  85. 99
    Psy Mon & Garth's Uncle says:

    How can the light that burned so brightly
    Suddenly burn so pale?

  86. 100 says:

    Three Balls, three twats.

  87. 101

    Tandem Sybian machine not deemed to be a success.

  88. 102
    jgm2 says:

    I didn’t know Ian Hislop did a drag act.

  89. 104
    Mickey Dripping says:

    Looks like, Cat and her act.

  90. 107

    As the couple peer down the gloom of the corridor..

    “..Is that Gordon?…Why is he wearing a gingham dress and holding a sock puppet penguin?..What’s that he’s saying ? Mr Flibble is going to fry us alive with his hex vision?”

  91. 108
    Gonk says:

    The Twilight Saga : Breaking wind – a new dawn part 2

  92. 110
    Anonymous says:

    Get yer hand up my arse and put a sparkle in my eye

  93. 111
    • 188
      Marion the cat says:

      Sorry, can’t be true, the BBC and Jack Straw said it only ever happened in Rochdale and nowhere else. It is NOT a cultural thing – just a little abberation.

  94. 112
    Geoffrey Brooking says:

    What do you get when you catch Red Ed’s wife flirting with a door-to-door salesman?

    A dead-ringer called Three Shags!

  95. 113
    Leroy Jenkins says:

    Left: “Ballllsssss, ballssssssss I’ve et ballssssss”

    Right: “urghhhhh, no brains… no brains….. least I’ve got plenty of weight to drop before the lack of brains becomes an issue”

  96. 116

    Yvette forgets to brush hair after doing the nasty.

  97. 117
    Mickey Dripping says:

    Could this be a Times exposure?

  98. 119
    Mickey Dripping says:

    Too late now. We went into this with our eyes wide open.

  99. 120
    Mickey Dripping says:

    I thought you said security left at seven.

  100. 121

    Not the first time that Prezza has been conjoined in utero.

  101. 123
    Mickey Dripping says:

    Waiting for the next erection….once every 5 years.

  102. 124
    Sir William Waad says:

    “I can’t eat it and I wouldn’t screw it” muttered Lord Prescott glumly.

  103. 126

    Prezza nails Labour split.

  104. 127
    Gonk says:

    Conjoined twins novelty act a big hit.

  105. 129
    Devilled kidneys says:


  106. 130
    George Sanders says:

  107. 131
    Weygand says:

    Ed Balls’ stripogram wows colleagues at Labour Party Conference.

  108. 133
    Mickey Dripping says:

    Mine eyes have seen the glory of COMING of the Lord

  109. 134

    Yvette: I said have you got any condoms, not ConDems…

  110. 135
    Maverick Ways says:

    Close Encounters of the Turd KInd.

  111. 136
    Lupin says:

    Give the magic beans back Tintin

  112. 137
  113. 139
    freddy the farting fish says:

    using their microwave vision Zorga and Zelda warmed up the pies

  114. 141

    Yvette: I expected crackers but have only now discovered your nuts.

  115. 142
    Yes we Ken says:

    Roswell was true after all !

  116. 143
    Daniel says:

    Mrs Balls forgets to turn her light off whilst appearing on Celebrity Take Me Out

  117. 144
    Anonymous says:

    Tracey love you’ve changed to Terence.

  118. 146
    Mickey Dripping says:

    Don’t worry luv, we can Instagram it later

  119. 148
    Anonymous says:

    The next couple on Strictly

    The dance steps are anything the Onions tell us to do

  120. 149
    GloryTory says:

    See that egg… its coming towards me

  121. 150
    Matt says:

    “Yvette, if we can have one serious photograph first, we can then get some of us posing outside a Police Station and near a broken window. They’ll look great on my election leaflets.”

  122. 151
    No more Blairs says:

    Prezza: “If I gently squeeze her left buttock, she starts talking about the economy; while if I do the same to her right buttock, she starts talking about immigration. I haven’t tried anything higher yet.”

  123. 152
    ben says:

    Missing 15 year old found with older man

  124. 153
    Fish says:

    Manchurian Global announce the winners of their ‘Parliamentarians of the Year’ award.

  125. 157
    Stepney says:

    The simply catastrophic consequence of Channel 4 News sharing the same green room with Drugs Live.

  126. 159
    idonotbelieveit says:

    “My God John, your thumb feels like a really big butt plug in my arse, but look at how the sun still shines out of Tony’s”

  127. 161
    Maverick Ways says:

    You’re right, Yvette. These Pleb-Blindness contact lenses really do make your husband look less of an Oik.

  128. 162
    Laws of the Bungle says:

    Yvette asks: ‘Is that a croquet stick or are you just pleased to see me?’

  129. 163
    The Fallen Angel says:

    The zombie apocolypse was averted when Prezza was converted and ate everybody else….

  130. 164
    Mark says:

    The things you see when you haven’t got your gun…

  131. 166
    Four Eyed English Genius says:

    Hammer Films Revival continues apace…….

  132. 168
    Rev. Spooner says:

    “..and I want frickin lasers in their frickin EYES…”

  133. 170
    Anonymous says:

    The least popular swingers advert in history.

  134. 171
    freddy the farting fish says:

    Olive Oil and Bluto looked on coldly as the shark swallowed Popeye

  135. 172
    Diablo the DEVIL says:

    They are all my own work and there are many more.

  136. 173
    Be afraid ! Be VERY afraid !!! says:

  137. 175
    Dummitt says:

    So this will really make us believe Ed is a good leader, will it, Derren?

  138. 176

    Channel 4 Documentary on the effects of ecstasy highlights the danger of playing politics with drugs!

  139. 177
    M says:

    CUT !
    ” the odd couple is comedy not a zombie flick “

  140. 178
    CT says:

    Dumb and Dumber!

  141. 179
    Aunty Matter says:

    Cooper looks like a macho version of Louis Walsh.

  142. 180
    Mark says:

    New Labour – new danger

  143. 182
    THAT COCK CAMORON (almost the worst PM in history) says:

    Madame Tussards must be running out of people of interest these days

  144. 183
    THAT COCK CAMORON (almost the worst PM in history) says:

    Thaz a bigger pair of balls than us luv !

  145. 185
    Baron Hogwash says:

    EXCLUSIVE: French Mag prints photos of Prescott with Balls in his hands.

  146. 187
    cant wait says:

    Mrs P had missed the bus and so returned home earlier than expected.

  147. 189
    Vincent Price says:

    Curse of the Liebore undead

  148. 191
    Anonymous says:

    If this fat bastard doesn’t get his hand off my arse, I’ll vapourise him with my deathstare.

  149. 193
    Nonny Mouse says:

    Yvette and John were not as enthusiastic as Pauline and Ed at the Labour Conference Swingers Party! (Photo cropped for reasons of taste and decency)

  150. 196
    Hugh Mcready says:

    Foresight and HindSight

  151. 197
    Nonny Mouse says:

    Yvette and John were not as enthusiastic as Pauline and Ed at the Labour Conference Swingers Party!

  152. 198
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    I can’t… I feel so sick it’s impossible even to think.

  153. 199
    Blowing Whistles says:

    In order to prevent adults and children from having nightmares and puking up at the sight of them – Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader have been asked to replace their normal full-body uniforms.

  154. 201
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    We’ve had Plan A, now Labour reveal their new plan for the economy.

  155. 202
    robbie says:

    50 stones of gray

  156. 203
    Biff says:

    The world’s only mute, siamese twins, Von and Jon, making a rare press appearance.

  157. 205
    Pies, pies and more pies says:

    Cooper – “Take me to your leader”.

    Prescott – “Sod that. Take me to your larder”.

  158. 207
    stroppycow says:

    Y Balls and EYEballs?

    Sorry it’s late (busy day and alcohol was consumed – lots)
    but WTF it’s still Friday.

  159. 211
    Stu says:

    We are Liebour. Resistance is futile.

  160. 213
    13eastie says:

    “Yvette Balls”. “I’ve ate pies”.

  161. 214
    Leroy Himmler says:


    Blow up ladyboys can seriously damage your eyesight.

  162. 215
    filipinomonkey says:

    Pauline! It’s not how it seems…

  163. 216
    Laughing hangman says:

    I’d seriously give her a good going over, every hole available and then have her swallowing the hangmans salty mouthwash. Knew someone who looked just like her who went like a rabbit on speed. Is she a screamer or the silent type?

    Him, don’t know what I’d do, but it would be long and painful maybe the rams horn and the red hot poker where the sun don’t shine for a starter, but her, she’d get it morning noon and night and not the rams horn.

  164. 217
    alex says:

    Take your finger out of my bum, John and l’ll take mine out of yours

  165. 218
    Leek Kinnochio Top Top Top Salary Multipensions says:

    No, John Bravebelly, your pledge list is not up there.

  166. 219
    John Connor says:

    The latest Cyberdyne systems Terminators are returned after being found defective.

  167. 220
    blub says:

    sex change operation goes horribly wrong

  168. 221
    blub says:

    breast reduction surgery spawns half-human lifeform

  169. 223
    Grrr says:


  170. 224
    50 Calibre says:

    That Harriet Harman is a daft bitch who spouts inconsistent rubbish. She should be put down, the hard way…

  171. 225
    Anonymous says:

    Major’s much mocked ‘demon eyes’ prediction from 1997 is demonstrated to be true…

  172. 226
    Peter jobes says:

    Major’s much mocked ‘demon eyes’ prediction from 1997 is demonstrated to be true…

  173. 227
    Two Jag's with No Brain says:

    Thank’s for all the kind comments. I am only glad I never had to left hook any of you plebs for trying to spoil my smart suit, with your plebish egg and rotten fruit throwing, which distracts me from important things like all the free pies. NOW were are they, I’ve not eaten for an hour………

  174. 228
  175. 229
    FlipC says:

    “Return of the Midwich Cuckoos”

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Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

Cathy Jamieson MP, Labour’s Shadow Treasury minister, commenting on Treasury analysis of the economic impact of tax changes…

“If the Treasury is looking at the economic impact of tax changes, then surely it should examine the impact of the rise in VAT and cuts to tax credits? George Osborne’s £12 billion VAT rise knocked confidence, helped to choke off the recovery and has cost families £1,350 over the last three years.”

orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?

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