Friday, September 28, 2012

Iran News Agency Falls for Onion Spoof

This is pure gold. The Iranian Fars news agency has run a story from the spoof online news site the Onion, apparently failing to realise that it was all a joke. Under the headline “Rural whites prefer Ahmadinejad to Obama”, Fars hilariously reported:

TEHRAN (FNA)- According to the results of a Gallup poll released Monday, the overwhelming majority of rural white Americans said they would rather vote for Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad than US President Barack Obama. “I like him better,” said West Virginia resident Dale Swiderski, who, along with 77 percent of rural Caucasian voters, confirmed he would much rather go to a baseball game or have a drink with Ahmadinejad than spend time with Obama. “He takes national defense seriously, and he’d never let some gay protesters tell him how to run his country like Obama does.” According to the same Gallup poll, 60 percent of rural whites said they at least respected that Ahmadinejad doesn’t try to hide the fact that he’s Muslim.

Amazing.

Wee Dougie Coughs Ken Truth

Douglas Alexander has surfaced for his annual pre-conference toe dip into the media. Last year he went after Ed Miliband, this year he’s said what every Labour supporter with a brain knows full well:

“Ken’s campaign too often looked like the past rather than the future. And when I saw his remarks about the Jewish community in London in particular, I didn’t just think it was ill advised, I just thought it was wrong. It’s not our politics to try and divide voters into blocks. The success of the Olympics reminds us that London’s greatness and Britain’s greatness is when we come together. And I think he paid a deserved price for some of the errors that he made.”

Nice of him to speak out at the time…

UPDATE: Needless to say Ken’s accomplices in his deceitful campaign are gutted:

Tragic!

UPDATE II: Ken hits back:

Mitchell’s Deigns to Give Local Rag Shoddy Pleb Spin

One week on and Andrew Mitchell still cannot give a straight and simple answer on whether he said the word “pleb”:

“On Wednesday night I tried to leave Downing Street by the main gate, something I have done many times before.I was told that I was not allowed to leave that way. During the subsequent altercation, although I did not use the specific words that have been suggested, I do accept that I did not treat the police with the respect they deserve.

“It’s been extremely difficult both for me and my family. I have apologised and said that I am extremely sorry. I think most people who know me know I would not use words like pleb or moron in describing anyone. I would gently point out that I did not say the words that have been ascribed to me.”

Why won’t he just say “I did not call the officer a pleb”? As he should have last Friday. Nice to see him hiding behind his children there too. Very Huhne…

Where’s Ed? – Press Coverage Plummets

Ever thought you haven’t been seeing much of Ed Miliband recently? You wouldn’t be wrong. A new study by LexisNexis has found that both Boris Johnson and Danny Alexander receive more press coverage than the leader of the Labour party. Ed Balls didn’t fare much better – apparently he has a lower press profile than Ed Davey. The analysis looked at how many articles mentioned the two Eds over the last seven days in comparison with other politicians. That submarine strategy is working… 

Boris helpfully intervenes on Dave’s Letterman appearance:

“I think he was only pretending. I think he knew full well what Magna Carta means. It was a brilliant move in order to show his demotic credentials and that he didn’t have Latin bursting out of every orifice.”

Friday Caption Contest (Zombie Labour Edition)

Jimmy Savile Sex Abuse Exposed
BBC “Cover Up” Allegations Mounting

Guido has hinted at the coming BBC Jimmy Savile cover up scandal previously, and things are certainly hotting up today. The final edit has just been made of an explosive new documentary alleging that Savile sexually abused up to ten girls as young as thirteen while at the height of his fame. On BBC property.

As Guido reported in February it is claimed Savile molested underage girls in hospitals, schools and BBC studios, allegedly giving his victims seats in the audience in return for sexual favours. The spotlight will now fall on what the BBC knew and when, why a Newsnight report containing the allegations was mysteriously spiked and why they failed to inform the police about the evidence they had uncovered. New York Times president Mark Thompson, then the BBC Director General, has some very difficult questions to answer…

Video: Harman on Jeremy ####


Seen Elsewhere

Comply or Die at Grauniad | MediaGuido
Labour Beats UKIP in South Yorkshire | LabourList
Mock the Week’s Weak Comedy | Nigel Farage
Can Jim Murphy Save Scottish Labour? | Guardian
There is Still Appetite for the Westminster Lunch | Jon Craig
Labour Turn Their Backs on Jewish Community | Dan Hodges
Chivalry is Not Dead | Laura Perrins
Jonathan Jones is a Tw*t | Iain Dale
Second Scotland Poll Suggests Labour Wipeout | Times
Paedo Probe Boss Urged to Quit | Sun
Keynesian Tories Won’t Eliminate Deficit | Tim Montgomerie


VOTER-RECALL
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Zac Goldsmith: “The hon. Gentleman might like to know that today’s Guido Fawkes quote of the day is the one on drug laws that we have heard cited by a number of hon. Members.”

Mike Hancock: “I am delighted to hear that Guido Fawkes is talking about something other than me.”



“Digger” Murdoch says:

Is it just me, or is Nigel Farage just a top hat and a monocle away from being a Batman villain?


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