September 27th, 2012

Jonah’s Tranquil Vision

In the wake of the carnage he wrought by opening the NYSE on Tuesday, Gordon has been speaking out about the state of the economy. Yesterday morning Reuters reported:

“Europe is enjoying a moment of calm due to the European Central Bank’s plan to buy debt of euro zone countries, but the region will struggle to solve more fundamental problems, former British Prime Minister Gordon Brown said on Tuesday.”You’re in the new tranquillity period,” Brown said.”

By yesterday afternoon there were riots on the streets of Athens and Madrid, Spanish bond yields started to soar again.

Fears of Spanish bailout wiped £23 billion off British markets as the FTSE plunged 91.62 points.

The Prime Mentalist did always have problems with the concept of tranquillity…


64 Comments

  1. 1
    Kebab Time says:

    Yep, he has lost it.

    Send for the men in white coats.

  2. 2
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Tranquillity must the be period after the administration of a prescription of tranquillisers.

  3. 3
    JK Rowling says:

    Gordon Brown glistens like a panther in the undergrowth, ready to strike at his prey with his elegant limbs throbbing in the heat of the balmy evening. His head is oversized, stuffed full of his massive intellect. His brain works like a laser ready with ideas, wit and charm.

  4. 4
  5. 5
    smoggie says:

    He’s full of fifty shades of shit.

  6. 6
    Mars Attacks says:

    Beware of Greeks beating gits.

  7. 7
    Great entertainment says:

  8. 8
    Sir William Waad says:

    It must be a hard choice: what sort of ear-rings to wear to a riot.

  9. 9
    smoggie says:

    The pain in Spain falls mainly on the mundane

  10. 10
    Great entertainment says:

    Sorry, I’d only watched the first part. Didn’t realise it would end with the twat singing the mentalist’s praises.

  11. 11
    smoggie says:

    I would choose clip-ons

  12. 12
    Great entertainment says:

    This is more fun.

  13. 13
    Moussa Koussa says:

    You are becoming a Joke yourself Guido. David Cameron is currently the British Prime Minister…haven’t you noticed, or are you trying to block this from your mind.

    Stock exchange fall on Wednesday, because Gordo rang the bell at the NYSA on Tuesday…My god you are losing it !!!!

    Can I direct you to Dave’s speech yesterday claiming that the Arab spring is alive and well…. errrr while the WHOLE region falls into civil war…get a grip Guido.

    If you want to be taken seriously, start behaving like some one who can be taken so.

  14. 14
    illogical says:

    Tranquility, conjours up images of Apollo 11{?}. “The Eagle has landed”
    Unfortunately with Gordon at the helm, ‘The Albatross has landed’ is nearer the mark. Will his reverse Midas Touch ever disappear for the good of the world?

  15. 15

    We’ll Live And Let You Die.

    The Man With The Golden Euro’s

    From Kirkcaldy with Loath

    Casino Royal Fuc.kup

    Dr. NO NO NO!!!!!

    LieBore’s Legacy is Forever

    Goldwaster

    For Your Eye Only

    Please feel free to join in:

  16. 16
    PM for a day says:

    I wish I was prime minister. I’d deport all muslims, stop immigration from muslim countries and eastern europe, cut taxes, privatise the bbc, and hold a referendum on leaving the EU.

  17. 17
    PM for a day says:

    Die, B1lly.

  18. 18
    David Cameron, English patriot says:

    Oy vey! Will no one give tens of millions of pounds of British taxpayers’ money to Al-Qaeda terrorists mass-murdering men, women and children in Syria for Israel?!

  19. 19
    Steve Miliband says:

    Not familiar with
    Please feel free to join in
    but

    Skyfallsin
    Quantum of Shoelace
    Casino Banking Royale

  20. 20
    David Davis says:

    At Conference I shall cordially invite David Cameron to put up or shut up.

  21. 21

    Now THAT, Guido, is how you combine irony with hypocrisy!!!!

  22. 22
    Sir William Waad says:

    Other world statesmen who have rung the NYSE bell include:

    Spongebob Squarepants
    A duck in a hat
    Two imperial stormtroopers
    A dog called Marley
    P Diddy
    Hugh Hefner
    Sports Illustrated swimsuit models
    KISS

    They will all be furious to be put on a level with such an absurd figure as Gordon.

    (Acknowledgements to the Huffington Post)

  23. 23
    Ed Miliband, Nick Clegg, British patriots says:

    +100! Bomb Iran now! Oy vey!

  24. 24
    Loungelizard says:

    They didn’t hit him in the face just worked his body over with lengths of lead piping, stuffed him full of drugs and sent him back out to do the ‘changed man’ interview. Brown’s enforcers were all NYPD trained.

  25. 25

    If voting changed anything, they’d abolish it.

  26. 26
    Baldy says:

    the WHOLE region falls into civil war

    given you admit they carry on this behaviour throughout the WHOLE region you pretty much admit that is an Arab spring

  27. 27
    a non says:

    Sh*tty Sh*tty Gang Bang

  28. 28
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’ve eradicated boom a̶̶n̶̶d̶ ̶b̶̶u̶̶s̶̶t̶

  29. 29
    Gorgon Brown says:

    It’s all America’s fault.

  30. 30
    T. Nightus says:

    My advice is don’t turn sideways to the water cannon in the first place – they’ll be ringing for weeks!!

  31. 31
    Sweeney, The says:

    Beware of picts wearing compasses

  32. 32
    albacore says:

    Cameron’s a man made of smoke
    A ruptured peewit’s got more poke
    Brown’s the spawn of a whole other folk
    Breaking a country’s beyond a joke

  33. 33
    Gorgon Brown says:

    It’s still all America’s fault. How could I possibly have known that allowing British banks and building societies to issue 110% mortgages was the least bit risky?

  34. 34
    Handycock Capo di Capo Soviet Republic of Portsmouth says:

    Tell them they can come over to Portsmouth and work for Agencies providing labour to the Council, at less than minimum wage, plenty of jobs for cleaners, care home workers etc etc. Boaz.

  35. 35
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    SellMyGoldenEye
    Licence to Kill the Economy
    Never Say Never Bust Again
    The Man who Sold the Golden Gun

  36. 36
    Loon Watch says:

    He’s mad and he’s bad

  37. 37
    A woman says:

    What a charmer.

  38. 38

    Dear Lord,

    2012 has been a trying and testing year.

    You have taken from me my favourite crooners, ANDY WILLIAMS and DOROTHY McGUIRE.
    My favourite character actors ERNEST BORGNINE & MICHAEL CLARKE DUNCAN.
    My favourite film Director, TONY SCOTT, and my favourite musicians, JON LORD and ROBIN GIBB.

    Just so you know, my favourite politicians are Gordon Brown, Tony Blair, Tom Watson, Ed Balls and my favourite journalist is Polly Toynbee.

    Amen

  39. 39
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    Gordon rushes up to nurse Botha screaming “I’m blind, I’m blind”.
    Nurse Botha says “Oh come on Gordon, put your eye patch on the other eye”.

  40. 40
    Throbber says:

    If that self regarding flatulent oaf Brown had anything to do with apollo 11, it would have hurtled into the sea of tranquility at ten thousand miles per hour.

  41. 41
    The Stilton Eater says:

    The new tranquiliser period more like as Brown’s doctor has put him on stronger pills.

  42. 42
    Anonymous says:

    If you don’t like it then don’t bother coming here. Simple really.

  43. 43
    FunnyMoneyPenny says:

    Shitfinger ( the man with the Jonah touch)
    Licence to print (Money)
    The Beard who loved me

  44. 44
    Famines and Firing Squads says:

    No one does hatred and intolerance quite like the Left

  45. 45
    Sir William Waad says:

    Please will everybody stop using the phrase ‘Oy vey!’ where it makes no sense?

  46. 46
    Sir William Waad says:

    Tranquil? They made a desert and they called it ‘peace’.

  47. 47
    Tony Blair says:

    But my fav has to be:

    Never say never again…

  48. 48
    Wall Street meets... says:

  49. 49
    Q says:

    Maybe the MoD could use Brown as a secret weapon-get him to publicly praise Iran’s nuclear programme, or the Taliban, or Somali pirates. Then stand back and watch these things collapse.

  50. 50
    Dr Nuts says:

    Will no one give tens of millions of pounds of British taxpayers’ money to Al-Qaeda terrorists mass-murdering men, women and children in Syria for Israel?!

    I’m not sure what your point is?
    We are doing precisely that – or at least the Americans are, Russia keeps making pointed remarks about it – something to do with Afghanistan, something, something, CIA training, something, something, CIA funding, something, rhubarb, something, supplying arms, something, something, 1970s invasion, something, rhubarb, rhubarb, convenient excuse 2001, rhubarb, CIA still supporting them, something, rhubarb, murdering scum killing ‘000s in Syria!

  51. 51
    Dr Nuts says:

    There’s an extremely long list that applies to – you’ll have to narrow it down…
    Politics?
    Economics?
    Policing?
    Secret Services?
    Judiciary?
    Journalism?

    And that’s just the short list of options!

  52. 52
    Dr Nuts says:

    … oops I forgot,
    Darth Vader?

  53. 53
    Dr Nuts says:

    So NYSE have elevated Gormless to a cartoon character.
    That’s dangerous, we might start feeling pity for him!

  54. 54
    Dr Nuts says:

    Off Her Majesty’s Secret Cardlist!

  55. 55
  56. 56
    Dr Nuts says:

    Hmm?
    Whatever you can grab at Claire’s Accessories?!

  57. 57
    Dr Nuts says:

    You assume that he’d competently praise Iran’s nuclear program without mentioning how great ours is – or something else for him to gurney over.

    The risks are too great!

    IF left bound, gagged, and facing the wall in the caretakers stock room at the UN building he’d still manage to start WW3, with nukes, while all the delegates are out for lunch!

  58. 58
    Anonymous says:

    The imbecile Brown, like the Holocaust, is something that we must never forget. In my opinion, Guido doesn’t mention him enough.

  59. 59
    The peasants are revolting says:

    Ah the good old socialist demonstrators at it again!

    “What do we want?”

    “Other Peoples’ money!”

    “When do we want it?”

    “Now! And tomorrow! And the day after that! And …”

  60. 60
    Yvonne from the Colliers Arms Clydach says:

    I was looking at the film of those riots in Madrid on Sky News.

    You should look at the peoples feet.

    They are all wearing nice shoes with soles .

    I mean to say it stands to reason that if these Spaniards were really suffering they would have no shoes or if they had shoes they would have holes in their soles .

    It seems to me that all this talk about Spain falling to pieces is absolute nonsense.

  61. 61

    Fab one Dr.N!!!! If I wasn’t brown bread, I’d suggest a couple of martinis and some fillies of my acquaintance!

  62. 62

    But the partitions in their homes between floors are threadbare and dangerously close to breaking – that might be the slight floor in your argument.

  63. 63
    A Pleb estate agent says:

    Franco mon Amigo.

    if you are in the market for a flat I have a very nice selection of brand new never lived in appartments many with a sea view at unbelievable prices .

    A fraction of the cost and much nicer than London new build .

  64. 64

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