September 25th, 2012


Yet another Cameron u-turn is in the pipeline. The man who once said “too many tweets might make a t**t” is set to join Twitter. The news comes despite Dave reiterating his 2009 comment this summer: “I did once say something about people who use Twitter, particularly politicians, and I think in this case I was absolutely spot on.” What could possibly go wrong?

Well if Ben Brogan is accurate about Cameron’s choice of username is anything to go by, the fun and games will start early. Apparently “@DavidCameronLeader, or something similar… will bring us the daily thoughts of the Prime Minister.” Why not Glorious Leader?


  1. 1
    WVS says:

    @camerondearleader…….not for long.

    Vote for UKIP

  2. 2
    Sandra in Accounts says:


    I depsise him more than Brown – imagine that.

  3. 3
    Lord Pension of Abolish after I've left says:

    I think you will find that Glorious Leader is already taken as a pseudonym for @gobshitearsewhipfailurebrown.

  4. 4
    Selohesra says:

    I suspect that rather than the leader’s thoughts it will actually be the thoughts of some silly little scrote (hope that is more acceptable than pleb) in the PMs press office

  5. 5
    Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    How about a u-turn on wind farms, imigration, eussr, fast trains, the liberals . . . .

  6. 6

    If Twiitter is the rinsing tide, then God help us all because that will become the standard of all communication in our conceptless world.

  7. 7
    wab says:


  8. 8
    Pogo says:

    He’s a tw*t, even without tweeting.

  9. 9
    A pleb who pays taxes says:

    Mr Cameron is of course free to open a twitter account .

    The account itself is I believe free.

    The account will need a computer and ISP connection . I hope that these will be paid for by Mr Cameron himself and not the taxpayer .

    As far as I can see no one in public life has gained any advantage from having a twitter account and a good few have reasons to regret it .

    If he is looking after the interests of a nation Mr Cameron should take care because his actions here are really a ” no win ” situation .

  10. 10
    Call me Dave says:

    You have my cast iron guarantee not to stop the 0.7% of GDP being pissed up a wall in some foreign land. After all we should not go back on our promises.

  11. 11
    Lord Scalded Bollock says:

    The correct email address will indeed be @davethepleb.

  12. 12
    Bye bye, Hamza! says:

    Finally, the ECHR has done something right, rejecting Captain Hook’s ap*eal against extradition. Once he’s in an American prison, I hope one of his fellow inmates takes his hook and puts it to proper use.

  13. 13
    Media Mensch says:

    Totally agree #listentome

  14. 14
    jgm2 says:

    @MaximumImbecile surely.

  15. 15
    Well it's a thought says:

    That’s nice of Camoron to annoy the twatter users, good job I don’t have a twatter account to close down, just to show what an idiotic inept tosser he is, you know what I mean like.

  16. 16
    Silent Bob suggests Dave says:

  17. 17
    English Liberation Front says:

    Gordon Brown Mk 2.

    Scrabbling around for publicity. Government by Twits. Government by Tweet.

    Personally I’d make it a criminal offence for any incumbent MP to use Twitter to tweet anything.

  18. 18
    jgm2 says:


    A total waste of time. It can only do harm.

    Especially since it won’t actually be him tweeting but some PR functionnaire so now he’ll be on the hook for the moronities of some 22 year old PPE.

    ‘Especially sad to hear of the death of A.N.Other celeb. Loved him/her in A.N.Other Eastenders/Coronation Street/Brookside/Whatever’

    Jesus wept.

  19. 19
    jgm2 says:

    That would be more like it.

    Dave on Twitter.

    Fucking hell.

    Is the Maximum Imbecile’s missus still swooning on cue at every news story?

  20. 20
    UffusDuffus says:


  21. 21


  22. 22
    Well it's a thought says:

    Claps! , well Bob you have excelled yet again, I just couldn’t put the quality of your short comment in a thousand words and get the same response, once again claps and still clapping as I type.

  23. 23
    MajorFrustration says:

    Has he got nothing better to do.

  24. 24
    John Johnson says:

    “U” turns are what Dave does, still who on earth thinks Dave Boy will actually doing the twittering himself, he will leave it to one of his trained “plebs” ( should I have said that word?). Oh has Dave said he has given Mad Mitch his full backing yet?

  25. 25
    MajorFrustration says:

    Has he got nothing better to do. This man is toast

  26. 26
    nellnewman says:

    +Sigh+ Another new team for No10 – this time to run his twitter account. How much is that going to cost?!

  27. 27

  28. 28
    Well it's a thought says:

    I prefer tosser@uturnido

  29. 29
    Gordon Brown says:


  30. 30
    Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    Agree that ‘twiter’ is another dismal step in our intellectual decline.
    But ‘conceptless world’?
    I would have said that our world, well the economy at least, is all about concepts.
    No longer about material things, but immaterial goods and services = concepts.

  31. 31
    The Poncey ‘Progressive’ PRick Posing as PM says:

    I say you jolly chaps! – I’ve got such a frightfully good idea for my Speech to Conference! I’ll tell them what we’ve achieved – and all we’re going to achieve – but I WON’T mention the €USSR! What? And what’s the Wind Farm Wattage this week? And the £o££age? Hahahaha !!!

  32. 32
    genghiz the kahn says:


  33. 33
    I hate Parliament so much it hurts says:

    However much you despise him, I assure you I despise him far, far more.

    Still, this latest clumsy U-turn suggests the end is nigh.

  34. 34
    John of Hull (and Damnation) says:

    I twit.

  35. 35
    Loungelizard says:

    Yikes we’re screwed if they hear about this….Mitchell get out there and create some sort of diversion….I don’t know, I’m sure you’ll think of something and take that bloody bicycle with you….

  36. 36
    Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    Not quite there yet . . .

  37. 37
    Call me Dave says:

    My new handle is @OLL

  38. 38
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    Let them carry on with it, some have dropped themselves right in it with their tweets.

  39. 39
    John Johnson says:

    They might play Black Sabbath on continuous repeat, once they find out he was a bouncer at a night club, you didn’t employ him in one of your does Guido did you.

  40. 40
    It's . . . ! says:

    . . . called ‘Getting in touch with the Sheeple’


    ‘Maintaining 121 contact with the Common People’

    or any number of other bullshitty PR terms, – the Biased Bullshitting Corpse might enlighten us further.

  41. 41
    I hate Parliament so much it hurts says:

    Correction: @hopelesslyoutofhisdepth

  42. 42
    Dr Nuts says:

    You and the misses.
    Millipede is sadly looking a better prospect than Cameron…. scarey! But he sadly has a point that the debt mountain has risen, and should’ve been spent on job creation. It’s not about the job’s but the circulation of money through the shops and then the ripples through the local economies.

    2008 the world entered recession? NO!
    Australia didn’t. Why not, instead of giving the printed funny money to the banks to pay for the bonus’s, they gave it to the ‘poor’ to put through the economy, re-inflating the economy and giving the business’s the necessary liquidity to continue trading and employing people. Something this government refuses to do – it’s more important to give the Bankers their bonuses!

  43. 43
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    Didn’t Labour appoint a twitter tzar?

  44. 44
    Steve Miliband says:


  45. 45
    John Johnson says:

    “The account will need a computer and ISP connection . I hope that these will be paid for by Mr Cameron himself and not the taxpayer” do not be silly

  46. 46
    Gordon Brown also says:

    Being paranoid, I’ve got this feeling that people laugh at me behind my back.

  47. 47
  48. 48
    nellnewman says:

    +Shakes head in despair+ The idiocy of the political classes never ceases to amaze me.

  49. 49
    the Maximum Imbecile’s missus says:

    Naturally! What else would you expect? – Gordo keeps me in such a permanent state of excitement that I easily succumb.

  50. 50
    Kokotoni Wilf says:

    Given people get arrrested these days for rude tweets, Dave will probably use this as a tool to round up angry Labour ranters ahead of the next election.

    Prescott in prison has a nice ring to it, no?

  51. 51
    Dr Nuts says:

    And there lies the Political idiocy!

    We don’t need more service industries, the Japanese don’t come over here to get their coffee on their daily early morning commute. What we need is products that we can sell to the Japanese. It’s a concept that the Lib/Lab/Cons haven’t heard of – ‘manufacturing’, generally supported by some strange new word again never heard of: ‘Patents’.

    This as such leads to the establishment of an economy which has a positive Balance of Trade, and jobs which involve a banking sector ‘lending’!!

  52. 52
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    You couldn’t make it up if you tried. :-)

  53. 53
    Ed Miliband says:

    I think it’s a brilliant idea, well done Dave

  54. 54
    PRatometer says:


  55. 55
    Dr Nuts says:

    Of course he’ll pay – he has to BEFORE claiming it as expenses!

  56. 56
    'Dave' says:

    A man of my standing naturally has a flunky to do all menial tasks.

  57. 57
    Dr Nuts says:


  58. 58
    Dr Nuts says:

    Black Sabbath? Why play decent music?
    I suggest WASP or Motley Crue!

  59. 59

    No Lwao, I meant something rather different.

    Propositions are either linear The cat sat on the mat or complex If the Copenhagen interpretation of quantum mechanics are correct then Schrödinger’s cat is in a superposition of being simultaneously alive and dead. This is because… etc..

    The ability only to deal with linear propositions takes us back to before the times of Pythagoras.

    Concept: … a kind of unit in terms of which one thinks; a unit smaller than a judgement, proposition, or theory, but one which necessarily enters into these. Twitter simply does not allow such refinement.

  60. 60
    Dear G-d sh-o-o-t the m*db\ot says:

    I have no id/-ea whether the gove/rnm-ent still lists its non-job vaca/nc/-ies in the Gua/rdian on Thursdays, although I su-/sp-ect it is so.

    “A vac-an-cy has arisen for New M_edia Con/su-ltant to drive forwards go-vern/ment’s ric/h media content experience into the public space blah blah young dynamic blah blah must keep head when all around blah blah Apply to sec-/retary to D. Cameron. blah blah short-term cont/ract ending May 2015.”

  61. 61
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    We would never dream of doing that.

  62. 62
    @HeirToBlair says:

    Off to piss 12 billion up the wall on foreign aid. Then chat to Dave Letterman. LOL!

  63. 63
    Well it's a thought says:

    Your not exactly something to wonder about, another turd in the craphouse of thieves.

  64. 64
    Well it's a thought says:

    Off to go swimming down the road, hope you get diarrhea.

  65. 65
    Socialism Ate My Future says:

    Spot on!

  66. 66
    stroppycow says:

    You easily suck WHAT???????

  67. 67
    David Laws Lib Dem Fiddler says:

    How about Dickcamoronleader?

  68. 68
    One-term Dave (the worst PM in Britain's history) says:

    And, of course, give India billions for its space programme. And billions more for pah kiss tan. Because they’re such good friends to us. What what.

    Enjoy your hospital closures, suckers!

    Toodle pip!

  69. 69
    A pleb says:

    ” There is a corner of a foreign field which is forever England . ” (Rupert Brook)

  70. 70
    genghiz the kahn says:


  71. 71
    genghiz the kahn says:


  72. 72

    It should be more than a feeling – LOSER!

  73. 73
    wab says:

    I wonder if he’ll tweet his sympathy when another of our troops is slaughtered in Afghanistan.

    Appalling little man

  74. 74
    Moussa Koussa says:


  75. 75
  76. 76
    I hate Parliament so much it hurts says:

    “Moving the government message forwards into the public space”?

    “Enhancing the citizen experience”?

  77. 77
    Moussa Koussa says:


  78. 78
    Loungelizard says:

    What minor brain fart suggested it would be a good idea to appear on Letterman? Perhaps a plan to take the heat of Mitchell.

  79. 79
    Moussa Koussa says:

    Obvious really !!!!!!!


  80. 80
    The Golem says:

    Whatever their faults, Australian politicians still tend to have some degree of patriotism. Our lot no longer work for us.

  81. 81
    Synic says:

    Beware the usual utter crap and meaningless platitudes coming ever thicker and faster. Aka

    “Our thoughts and prayers are with the family and friends of …..”
    “Dead squaddie / police officer / nurse …”
    “This disaster … tragic incident …bad weather… allows the resolve and character of the British public to shine through…”
    Etc. etc.

    Dave is a totally useless cnut who should fxxk off out of the way as he is incapable of sorting the current mess out.

  82. 82
    Moussa Koussa says:

    COME BACK GORDO !!!!!!


  83. 83
    illogical says:


  84. 84
    Spode says:

    1. Tie his hands behind his back.

    2. Attach headphones to amplifier.

    3. Put headphones on his, er, head.

    4. Play all 33 Singalongamax CDs.

    5. Goto 4.

  85. 85
    Anonymous says:

    But what about all those plebs with Twitter accounts?

  86. 86
    Spode says:

    Bob is a koan.

  87. 87
    Dave says:

    Twitter is for Plebs

  88. 88
    stroppycow says:

    Love it – very subtle.

  89. 89
    Tears of a Clown says:

    At least Gordon gave us all a good laugh at his twattery. Dave just makes us weep.

  90. 90
    Unbiased observer says:

    You can call coppers “plebs” in Downing Street and still only come close to being arrested.

  91. 91
    fruitcake says:

    Aaah old scrote, the wrinkled and faithful retainer.

  92. 92
    stroppycow says:

    Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo pleeeeease don’t even JOKE about that possibility (and yes I know coming from you it’s no joke)

  93. 93
    Durr... says:

    We should all know our place. Now draw a line and get on with your work. Mine is a Biriani with extra dahl.

  94. 94

    “Good morning

    Don’t you know who I am?

    I’m the Chief Whip

    Get out of my way you fucking pleb

    This isn’t the fucking end of this”

    You just can’t get a decent employee in this country anymore

  95. 95
    Durr... says:

    He knows his place.

  96. 96
    Airey Belvoir says:


  97. 97
    Labour are guilty of treason says:

    It’s quite obvious Labour were happy to let Hamza stay here in order to keep the public afraid and get support for their ID cards and 60 days in custody without charge. But when they deliberately ignore even the Queen’s views on the matter, then it borders on treason. And that’s not even including the way they vandalized the economy.

    The Queen voiced concerns to the previous government about the inability of UK authorities to arrest radical cleric Abu Hamza

  98. 98
    Anonymous says:

    According to conhome “I’m a PLEB” T shirts are around.Anyone know who the supplier is?

  99. 99
    Mitchell - identifier of plebs says:

    I am that flunky

  100. 100
    Joe says:

    He’s one crazy mother fucker!

  101. 101
    Bye bye, Hamza! says:

    No. It should be:

    4. Play entire Cliff Richard back catalogue

    5. Repeat 4 on a loop for 7 days.

    6. Keep his eyes open as in A Clockwork Orange.

    7. Play every single episode of Teletubbies.

    8. Repeat 7 on a loop for 10 years.

  102. 102
    Ernestine Tentions says:

    Never forget that Cameron was considered unusually gifted at Oxford. That means that he was very good at agreeing with his Professors and eagerly lapped up all the communist bollocks he was fed.

  103. 103

    Ken Livingscum was right about one thing: If Voting Changed Anything They’d Abolish it.

  104. 104
    David Cameron (Leader of the Nasty Party) says:

    I rather like @yodave.

    Rather American and I always greet Mr President as “Yo Barack you pleb”

  105. 105
    A Bullingdon Pleb says:

    Louise Mensch and hubby,Peter.

  106. 106
    stroppycow says:

    You are such an intelligent cat – did you attend a bog-standard private school? ….Just asking…..

  107. 107

    Someone has dusted off his copy of Sir Henry at Rawlinson End!! Nice one, must just go and polish mine, as I just washed my hands against a tree on the way here.

  108. 108
    Enoch Powell says:

    We must be mad, literally mad, as a bogging community to be permitting the annual inflow of some 50,000 comments by Moussa Koussa the commie.

  109. 109
    Anonymous says:

    I agree with you Dr.Nuts,but for many of us the costs of funding a patent application presents major difficulties.Rocks & hard places.

  110. 110

    I think more likely a dogs’ bollocks one.

  111. 111

    Except of course that’s what Obama did. And all he’s got to show for being the most indebted nation on earth is a new IKEA lamp for all.

  112. 112
  113. 113
    bergen says:

    It says much for the calibre of his office staff that this is seriously considered to be a good idea.

    How long before the first tweeted gaffe? It will be long remembered after all the others have been forgotten.

  114. 114
    Quiet Bat Person says:

    I don’t know what I want, but I want it NOW.

  115. 115

    He talks rivers of mud

  116. 116

    Apparently the original , “You don’t have to be a working class , flat capping, pasty eating,Nandos,Burberry, thick armed,tramp stamped, waddling, sports casual, giro on Fridays, ladies night, chav head to vote Labour. But it helps”

    Didn’t fit on the t-shirt.

  117. 117

    How about YoDaDave?

    “Head dick am I”

  118. 118
    Anonymous says:

    That’s the corner of the field where nothing grows.

  119. 119
    Mr Quelch says:

    “is correct”. “Interpretation” is singular.

  120. 120
    Biased Broadcasting Corporation says:

    Quite. More PR crap. Like going on that chat show in America.

    Why doesn’t he just get on with his job?

  121. 121
    Dr Nuts says:

    Vote UKIP get Conservatives!!

  122. 122
    Biased Broadcasting Corporation says:

    rivers of crud?

  123. 123
    Fatspotter says:

    You forgot “size XXXXXX football shirt”.

  124. 124
    WVM says:

    I think @yellowdave says it all.

  125. 125
    WVM says:

    Well said.

  126. 126
    Alexsandr not on twatter says:

    whats twitter?

  127. 127
    Alexsandr says:

    forget the banks. we need more peer to peer lending. check out Funding Circle…

  128. 128
    Alexsandr says:

    set aside then?

  129. 129
    Dr Nuts says:

    He did not give the money as a small (~£2000) to every pensioner just before Christmas, ~£7000 to the newly weds who bought their own homes, ~£2000 to the small farmers, ~£2000 to the jobseekers (who ARE actually seeking jobs) and those in training. These represent different sections of the economy and none save.

    The money gets spent and the banks don’t ‘earn’ a penny, but instead, it goes into the Business bank accounts giving the banks a measure of liquidity and the Businesses the chance to grow… recession over!

  130. 130
    Dr Nuts says:

    Gordon Broon ‘saved the world’ – like most of his policies, exactly wrong! He showed the world what not to do!

  131. 131
    Anonymous says:

    suck….tits, thumb and donga.
    all oral pleasures no doubt.
    free love ok but not when there is no money in the kitty.

  132. 132
    Dr Nuts says:

    They don’t have an Aristocratic Class – the Patricians as the Conservatives see themselves.

  133. 133
    A Nemo says:

    Regarding “Call Me Dithering Duplicitous Dave’s” appearance on the David Letterman Late Show tomorrow night (Wed 26 th Sept). Along with Facebook & Twitter social media channels for posting questions, the following e-mail addresses may be useful as well for asking questions to our “Glorious Leader” about the disgraceful actions & statements by a member of HIS Government.



    Of course this Tory Toff may not welcome any questions from UK Plebs but hopefully Letterman has the balls, something CMDDD does not have, to ask him.

  134. 134
    Dr Nuts says:

    Too late, we’ve got the Condems with their austerity for the plebs to pay for their banker mates bonuses. You should’ve wanted it during Broons reign of blunders when money wasn’t the problem!!

  135. 135
    Dr Nuts says:

    Also forgot to mention – also the Banks don’t run their Treasury Dept.
    Ours are modern day pirates – plundering our Treasure Dept!

  136. 136
    Dr Nuts says:

    I know – I’m self employed. Developmental costs and patents met by project work. Best bit, I don’t want to share my research work until I’ve finished, and as I don’t work within the University Structure I can’t get research funding from the Govt organisations.

  137. 137
    Dr Nuts says:

    Cat: We are talking about politicians, right? UK Politicians to be precise.
    Complex thought and MP’s in the same sentence!?! Did you think your argument through in relation to the subject – especially when it’s PR guru David Cameron, and we’ll be at this again with Milibug!

  138. 138
    Dr Nuts says:

    Walled off!

  139. 139

    Motley Crue – an answer to a question that should never have been asked – like KISS, a bloody stupid joke band.

    I cannot think of more than a handful of American rock bands that are fit to use that description.

  140. 140
    Anonymous says:

    Of course he didn’t.

    He just likes to use words and reference concepts he doesn’t understand.

  141. 141
    Dr Nuts says:

    Uh-huh – Cliff – despite all percieved wisdom actually managed a song which is almost listenable with ‘Devil Woman!’ There is a moment of respite!
    As for Singalongamax the hairs on my neck are seriously ruffled!!

  142. 142
    Dr Nuts says:

    He’s getting down with the twit’a’pratsie.
    He’s realised there’s no need for damage limitation, there’s no credibility left to damage!! The only way is to endear himself to the twits, they still get to vote!

  143. 143
  144. 144
  145. 145
    Dr Nuts says:

    Somebody has to read them!
    I pity Guido – I’m sure he has better things to do.

  146. 146
  147. 147
    Dr Nuts says:


  148. 148
    Anonymous says:

    Don’t forget to pay your two quid Guardian tax to keep Polly in clover…

  149. 149
    genghiz the kahn says:


  150. 150
    Anonymous says:

    ..make that a twenty-four quid Pollytax since taxes are generally quoted over a year.

  151. 151
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Mercifully, Henry hit him with the soft end of the pistol.

  152. 152
    Anonymous says:


  153. 153
    genghiz the kahn says:

  154. 154

    I am so sorry, Sir! You are quite correct.

    Please stop beating me.

  155. 155

    I was just talking about Twitter TBH. The lack of breadth aspect applies to everyone including politicians.

    Completely agree with your remarks at 9:41 am – which I have only just seen due to guests arriving.

  156. 156
    lojolondon says:

    Yep – where we NEED a u-turn, none is offered. However, when it comes to legislating charging for plastic bags at the checkout Brave Dave is your man!

Seen Elsewhere

New Tory, New Danger | Laura Perrins
UKIP Could Work With Dave If Price is Right | Douglas Carswell
Cops Catch Crims With B.O. Test | Techno Guido
Bashir’s “False Account” to His Own Lawyers | Times
Injustice of Tax Avoidance Hysteria | City AM
The New Puritans | Alex Wickham
UKIP on 23% With Survation | Mirror
UKIP Could Deal With Dave | Douglas Carswell
Tories Would Lower Benefit Cap | Telegraph
Bashir Twitter Meltdown | Mirror
Bashir is a Wrong’un | Norman Tebbit

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