September 20th, 2012

Indy’s Parliamentary Sketchwriting Shifts Leftwards

The Indy’s march to the left continues. They have replaced long-standing parliamentary sketchwriter Simon Carr, who had robustly sound views, with left-leaning Donald MacIntyre (pictured wearing glasses), who is being recalled back from Jerusalem. His politics are left-wing to the extent that he was close enough to Mandelson in his Lobby days to write his biography.

Don is the sober more thoughtful father of James MacIntyre and in more politically incorrect times he was once voted the sexiest man in the Lobby by the hackettes – some say Maggie fancied him. MacIntyre may not be quite as acerbic or non-partisan as the much-missed Simon Carr, but given his clout he should be a big enough figure to tell the editor Chris Blackhurst to get lost if he tries any editorial bossing about. Getting rid of Carr means there is one less reason to read the Indy…


  1. 1
    First says:

    FU 8illy!

  2. 2
    corridor of uncertainty says:

    what other reasons are there to read the Indy?

  3. 3
    NOT Kebab Time says:

    I second that emotion.

  4. 4
    DUCKY says:

    Twitter trolls to escape prosecution, says DPP

  5. 5
    last_brit says:

    So you can laugh at the stupid articles in it. Or if it’s the website, gawp at the Goebbels-like antisemitism of the comments field.

  6. 6
    Gordon Brown says:

    I have never accepted responsibility for a fart

  7. 7
    Rottingdean publicity official says:

    fanny or rectal?

  8. 8
    jgm2 says:

    If it’s stupid articles you want why would you buy the Independent when you could go to the Grauniad website. Plus the CiF comments are equally bed-soakingly cringe-worthy.

  9. 9
    The Grouniad - LieBore - BBC Axis says:

    It follows! Progressive Socialism IS THE FUTURE! Be at one with the future of Future!

    We could go on but we don’t want to waste time with little people.

  10. 10
    Calamity Clegg says:

  11. 11
    The future says:

    Progressive socialism is so old fashioned darling.

  12. 12
    Silent Blob says:


  13. 13 says:

    It’s predistributive socialism now. Or was that yesterday?

  14. 14 says:

    Spoof video to be released.

    At least it may help people remember his name.

  15. 15
    Steve Miliband says:

    Steve Wright playing Gordon’s theme tune right now

  16. 16

    If you want to get in the pants of the head of communities at the local council, then the Indy is a good prop. Automatically makes you look tedious and dull. Its best carried poking out the top of a man bag. Use with some very thin, rectangular, red framed glasses and a v neck layered top and obligatory goatee.

    Doesn’t work on all head’s of community causational outreach umbrella inclusion depatments though.

    At Barry Town for instance I’m not sure big Gareth can even read.

  17. 17
    Horatio Nelson says:

    The Windy as a whole seems to have been blown to port recently; that includes the main cartoon, which is rather a shame.

  18. 18
    Kebab Time says:

    I made it to 1000 so you can all fuck yourselves whilst i celibate :)

  19. 19
    Centrist says:

    I read all these left wing papers for a bit of a laugh. The problem these days is that there aren’t any right wing ones to provide a bit of balance.

  20. 20
    JH says:

    Oh, go ahead and celebrate. We should have a national fucking holiday to recognise your towering achievement.

    It wasn’t you doing the ‘security’ at George Harrison’s house that night, was it?

  21. 21
    stroppycow says:

    Will they now have to change their title to The Less Independent???

  22. 22
    JH says:

    You also need to perfect that fixed, thin, turned-up-and-the-ends smile that says ‘I am doing good for the little people, even if they don’t know it or agree!’.

    It is pretty much compulsory for sanctimonious lefties to have such a rictus grimace; it goes nicely with the £400 trendy specs they wear while expressing concern for the poor.

    For reference, look at this fucker.

  23. 23
    JH says:

    The problem is, these left wing papers believe they are ‘providing balance’.

    They actually believe most people think like them, suspending disbelief as the latest contractions-to-the-readership figures come in from ABC.

  24. 24
    Spode says:

    No — making a verb out of a noun is the least of his howlers. Let him celibate, since he can’t cerebrate (which is a verb made out of a noun, but listed in the Dickshunairy.

  25. 25
    Spode says:

    Both are a waste of electrons. Stop this senseless mutilation of hydrogen atoms!

  26. 26
    Kebab Time says:

    Thanks JH, I appreciate it. I am authorised for commercial security not for domestic so i would not have been at anyboys house.
    I dont understand your point Spode

  27. 27
    Kebab Time says:

    if you was so clever then you would now that you have to close a bracket “)” when you opens one unless you are doin a :( and not followin it with a :)

  28. 28
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    ‘His politics are left-wing to the extent that he was close enough to Mandelson in his Lobby days to write his biography.’

    Jesus Christ! If that’s left-wing I dread to think what right-wing is.

  29. 29
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    And his Tory brother:

  30. 30
    Border Terrier says:

    Launched with great hope, showed initial promise, now just a piss poor reflection of the piss poor Guardian. Sad.

  31. 31
    Eric Leach says:

    Mandelson a left winger? Surely not .All the Nu Libor lots were /are Tories.

  32. 32
    Quiet Bat Person says:

    I bet you are often at ‘anyboys house’, Kebabtime.

  33. 33
    None Of The Above says:

    Hahaha exactly. If Lord Slimeball is to be branded a leftie, that goes to show what a cozy cabal of groupthink the political class have become in this screwed-up country

    Jim Callaghan, Tony Benn, Denis Healey, Foot and co may not have been my cup of tea, but at least they had ideas and believed in something you could have a discussion about. The sleazy careerists Bliar/Mandy/NewLiebore were a plague on all our houses and continue to be so with the Millipedes/Balls-up


  34. 34
    FFS says:

    Getting rid of Carr means there is one less reason to read the Indy…

    One fewer reason!

  35. 35
    the savant says:

    The Indy ??

    i thought it had died and gone to Lebedev.

  36. 36
    Who why what where when says:

    Is the Independent still going?

  37. 37
    Anonymous says:

    The only reason why The Independent was able to come into existence at all, in the early 1980’s, was because Mrs Thatcher had managed to reduce the legal immunities of the trade unions, and Rupert Murdoch had broken the power of the Fleet Street print-workers with his move to Wapping.

    Needless to say, the middle-class leftists who ran the paper devoted their editorial pages to sneering at Mrs Thatcher, and have subsequently maintained a vituperative campaign against the Murdoch press.

    Now they owe their life-support system to a Russian capitalist sugar-daddy, who also keeps a kindergarten at the Evening Standard.

    One wonders what will happen when his cheque-book runs out …

  38. 38
    Anonymous says:

    “His politics are left-wing to the extent that he was close enough to Mandelson in his Lobby days to write his biography.”

    So, centre-right then?

  39. 39
    JabbaTheCat says:

    I see they have removed the Discus comment system and replaced with some diy affair that is no doubt a lot easier to censor…

  40. 40
    last_brit says:

    I don’t buy the Islamipendent. My Local Library gets it and no other national paper :'((((

  41. 41
    ho hum says:

    Man on a stick does not understand Spode.

    I blames Surely Willyams meself.

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