September 20th, 2012

Guidogram Going Out Shortly

The Guidogram round-up of the week is going out shortly.

Thousands of Westminster insiders read the Guidogram, everyone from Downing Street insiders to Fleet Street never miss it. Don’t miss out on Nick Clegg going viral, Ken Clarke’s candid Carlton Club confessions and Lord Sugar joining Guido for a laugh at Piers Morgan’s expense.

Join the conspiracy and become a subscriber to the Guidogram, free, to keep in the loop. You’re either in front of Guido, or behind…


25 Comments

  1. 1
    • 7
      UKIP.i.am.awake says:

      The Iranian police are now on the look-out for a woman in a burka.

      Like

    • 8
      Ken "call me Ahmed" Livingstone says:

      God willing, I will win the next Mayoral election in London and, inshallah, turn London into a beacon of Islam and we, too, will have police patrolling the streets ensuring compliance with the Islamic dress code.

      Death to all women to disobey!

      Note to feminists: please don’t forget to vote for me, too.

      Like

    • 15
      I hate Parliament so much it hurts says:

      The cleric described the beating as “the worst day of my life.”

      Christ, it must have been bad; one imagines that living in Iran has got to be one of the most miserable and pointless existences known to man, and being an Islamic cleric can’t be a bundle of joy, either. Add the two together and you really have got hell on Earth. And they thank god for this??

      Like

      • 20
        Islamic faithful says:

        No. We know life here is miserable, that is why we are so keen to die and then get our 40 virgins. If we take a few of you with us while we die, so much the better.

        Like

        • 24
          Lord Mooncrater says:

          Err, it’s 72 virgins, I understand.

          Just immagine that. You would be lying in bloodsoaked bed every time you had a poke for months/years.

          Like

    • 19
      Nothing To Get Hung About says:

      The trouble with burqas is that, when they lift you up by the crane, the knot isn’t placed correctly because of all the clothing in the way, and instead of just twitching for a few seconds till you pass out, you end up doing the Tyburn jig. Of course, some in Iran don’t really give a monkey’s about “humane” treatment of women anyway.

      Like

  2. 2
    Sir William Waad says:

    Let’s hear what Tom Watson MP has to say about the Guidogram:

    Like

  3. 3
    Fuck off, B1lly says:

    Kebab Time will kill himself for missing out on first place in the comments.

    Like

  4. 10
    UKIP.i.am.awake says:

    “The Liberal Democrats have been some of the strongest supporters of Harriet Harman’s Equality Act 2010, voting for it in the last Parliament. Now they are breaking that very law. That, in essence, is what the party’s lawyers have concluded.

    The problem is the Lib Dem constitution, which dictates that a third of all seats on various party committees must be reserved for women, and a third for men.”

    I wonder who or what the other third are reserved for?

    Like

  5. 14
    Nick Clegg says:

    I know I signed a pledge at the election which I later broke. And for that I’m sorry. But today, I pledge to you that I won’t break any more pledges in future. I pledge that if you vote Lib Dem at the next election, I will give everyone in the country £50.

    Like

  6. 17
    Dianne Hippocrit Abbot says:

    West Indian mothers would go to the wall for the latest Guidogram.

    Like


Seen Elsewhere

Does Europe Really Want Britain to Quit? | Nick Wood
Immigration Nation | Hopi Sen
Tories Choose Anti-Israel Candidate in Rochester | JC
Osborne’s Daycare Obsession is a Time Bomb | Kathy Gyngell
BBC Marr Pinko Trying to Ban the Queen | Speccie
Eric Hobsbawm: Companion of Dishonour | Standpoint
Guido Party Gossip | Iain Dale
Russell Brand Comes Out as 9/11 Truther | Guardian
Health Revolution is Underway | Fraser Nelson
UKIP Gets Professional | Red Box
Kelly Tolhurst Wins Rochester Open Primary | BBC


VOTER-RECALL
Find out more about PLMR


Austrian Chancellor Werner Faymann on Cameron’s refusal to pay the £1.7 billion EU bill by December 1st:

“Well, then he’s gonna pay on December 2nd”



Mycroft says:

Have you read the last bit of Animal Farm?

You know where the animals are looking through the Farmhouse window?

My TV screen was that window at lunch-time today.

Be careful, the sudden self-congratulatory tone, the slightly pudgy outline of indulgence and you become exactly what you should despise.

The jolly face of the Quisling Cameron poses for your camera has mesmerised and deceived you, you who were once not so deceived.

You were no firebrand, you were a damp squib in my opinion, sorry.

You need a damned good kick up the ahse!


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