September 19th, 2012

Balls Tells Business: I’m Just Like Osborne

After his vote winning booing at the TUC, Ed Balls has donned his bow-tie to butter up the CBI. Though he won’t say it on the airwaves, behind closed doors with businessmen the Shadow Chancellor is desperate to play up the resemblance between himself and George Osborne:

“George Osborne and I have some real differences but we also have some areas where we really agree. There is no doubt that a credible deficit reduction plan is essential… There have to be tough decisions on spending and pay and measures to kick-start the economy. We need action now for growth, jobs and confidence.”

It rolls off the tongue of the former City Minister.

And it’s clear where he has got his inspiration – Osborne’s Mansion House speech in June:

“My conclusion from that the balance of risks in the UK argues strongly in favour of credible deficit reduction… A time for decisions has come. The common challenge is [how to] create the conditions for sustainable growth and new jobs… I will take action [to] inject new confidence into our financial system.”

What is the point of the Shadow Chancellor if he’s just an echo? 

UPDATE: A source close to Osborne tells Guido:

“Looking forward to Balls announcing this deficit reduction plan at Labour conference, but not holding our breath. So where is this Balls deficit plan? Or is he adopting ours?”


  1. 1
    Brown out and pay me damages says:

    Balls is an idiot.


    • 3
      Lord WAyne of Trombona says:



      • 33
        Dave's cabal of benders says:

        We’re all in this together!


        • 69
          Kebab Time says:

          I an not annoyed


        • 84
          Anonymous says:

          How to impress a woman
          Compliment her, respect her, honour her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, tease her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, hold her, spend money on her, wine and dine her, buy things for her, listen to her, care for her, stand by her, support her, hold her, go to the ends of the earth for her.

          How to impress a man
          Show up naked, bring food, do not stand in front of the tv.


          • Labour mps should be exiled from uk for damage they done says:

            if a woman is not quick to have sexual intercourse with you then she does not have love for you you have to be idiot to impress a woman if she have to try that hard to impress a woman then she not worth chasing as for all that impressing a woman a man has to be a fool express your sexual desire for her if she s not quick to return a yes to you walk away fast don t be a fool buying drinks for her and never accept friendship from woman who you want to shag if you want a true friend own a dog if a woman gives her best years usually 20s to mid 30s to other men and has the cheek to express interest in you in leftover yrs of life when both your youth vitality is gone you tell her to get lost if she did not want you when it mattered you don t let her back into your life when its too late you are old shes old etc


      • 79
        lojolondon says:

        And a liar


    • 7
      Anonymous says:

      Of monumental proportions


    • 13
      Nothing Between Them says:

      Showboating and posturing aside, there is nothing between them or their parties.

      The reason Miliband and Balls have not come up with an alternative policy of substance, is because they don’t at heart, disagree with any of the socialist big government, tax and spend policies, adopted by the coalition.


    • 19
      Teddy Boys says:

      2 Eds R better than 1


    • 39
      Anonymous says:

      Ed has really piled the weight on in that photo, he looks gross and unhealthy, probably too many Greggs pasties!


    • 67
      An idiot speaking on behalf of all idiots. says:

      Hey we’re all smarter than that fat twat


  2. 2
    Kebab Time says:

    I love balls.


    • 35
      Anonymous says:

      Two blondes walk into a building………you’d think at least one of them would have seen it.


      • 68

        A young blond woman walked into a taverna dressed in black and looking very solemn.
        “Have you been to a funeral?” enquired the vintner.
        “Yes” She said, and the graveyard was very cold, full to the brim with gravestones and very sad”
        “Who’d died?” asked the said vintner
        The young woman looked puzzled. “All of them”


    • 66
      Kebab Time says:

      I am a bit slow so far today but am confident I will be first on one of todays posts. Wish me luck. I ran out of time checking the archives so whilst I am pretty sure it is just 1 more for a 1000, I will not claim it until I am sure. :)


  3. 4
    Tony Blair says:

    Gordon farts more sense than balls


  4. 5
    Roger the tax dodger says:

    Was his brother there?


  5. 6
    Iain says:

    So he makes speeches just for the sake of being little Sir Echo and saying “me too”


  6. 8 says:

    The right action for growth, jobs and confidence is to encourage businesses to start up and grow – not to punish them severely if they are successful when doing it. The 50% high-rate tax was a jobs and growth killer.


  7. 9
    Brown out and pay me damages says:

    Yup. He sure is. Playing both Osborne and Cable like he wants to control everyone.


  8. 10
    Ex-Tory says:

    LibLabCon are just continuity socialist corporatism, establishment Govt. There is little between them, simply faux outrage and bluster, manipulated by their mates in the media to hoodwink the niaive public. Stop voting for them!


    • 25
      Nothing Between Them says:


      They are nothing more than three wings of the same global socialist, re-distributionist, movement. Who disagree on only who’s turn it is to sit in the big chairs and rub shoulders with the corporate money men, who ultimately, call all the shots.


      • 36 says:

        Those and the corpulent civil servants and not forgetting our new masters in Brussels, who make most of our laws while our politicians tinker with the trivialities.


      • 37
        Mervyn King, Ben Bernanke, Mario Draghi, Christine Lagarde... says:

        Oy vey! They’re finally on to us! The dumb schmuck goy.


  9. 11
    Mrs Balls says:

    I am sorry that Edward cannot come out to play but he has remortgaged the house in order to give televisions, cars and holidays to all the unemployed neighbours.


  10. 12
    [insert name here] says:

    “What is the point of the Shadow Chancellor if he’s just an echo? ”

    He’s much more entertaining than Osborne


  11. 14
    Chutney says:

    I think the UK SME businessman may now look at quality of life before growth

    Why would you take the risk to borrow loads of money, employ loads of people who have more rights than you do, have to comply with increasing legislation only to have to give the lions share of any money you make to HMRC


    • 48
      Leftluver says:

      Yo rite there buddy. Yo take the prize pickle 4 that koment.

      I aint employing no 1 till eu and its lackeys in the conlablib gets of my godamm ass


  12. 15
    Sniper says:

    Ballsballs – I will take action [to] inject new confidence into our financial system

    OK Gweeds, which high building is the twat jumping from? And, where can I buy a ticket?


  13. 17
    Bacon says:

    A muslim man is on a farm when he walks past a pigsty where a pig is resting.

    “Ugh! What a foul, disgusting, smelly creature!”

    said the pig.


    • 41
      A.Fore-Skinner says:



      • 47
        Kosher Bacon says:

        What we need is a film by a ‘coptic Christian’ and some more cartoons to incite the muzzies from the ‘French’, and then we it back and watch the muzzies and Christians slaughter each other. Mazel tov!


    • 44
      Anonymous says:

      A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. ‘My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?’

      ‘Well,’ said the vet, ‘let’s have a look at him.’ So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says, ‘I’m going to have to put him down.’

      ‘Why, because he’s cross-eyed?’

      ‘No. Because he’s really heavy.’


  14. 18
    sweat in gordon's crack says:

    What is the point of the Shadow Chancellor if he’s just a monumental c#nt who is partly to blame for the mess we’re in?


  15. 20
    Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    Will the socialist broadcasting company be showing mitt Romney style secret footage of this speach by spacker balls . . . I doubt it.


  16. 23
    Kokotoni Wilf says:

    Balls is worth 10 seats for the Tories.


  17. 26
    blocked? says:

    Charlie Hedbo published their nudey Mohammed cartoons yet?

    For some reason I cant access the site…


  18. 29
    Mornington Crescent says:

    It’s not Osborne’s, it’s Balls’!


  19. 30
    Brent Fraser says:

    He is yet another two-faced Labour shadow minister – saying one thing to the likes of the CBI, and giving out an entirely different message to the party faithful.


  20. 31
    Brown out and pay me damages says:

    The banks have been holding businesses back.


  21. 32
    Paul Flynn says:

    What is the point of Philip Hammond ?????


    • 83
      Anonymous says:

      JACK (age 3) was watching his Mum breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: “Mum why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?”


  22. 34
    Sandra in Accounts says:

    It just shows how dumbed down education & awareness & understanding is in Britain after 13 years of Labour vandalism:

    In a sane, rational, reasonable & educated country there is no way that Ed Balls or any party that associates with him would have any credibility what so ever.

    After what he did – with full understanding of the consequences, was nothing short of criminal – wilful destruction of the economy for persoanl & political gain.

    Add into the mix his old girlfriend & fellow leftist fiscal lunatic Steff Flaunders at the BBC …. what chance truth in this country now?


  23. 38
    David Cameron (Leader of the Nasty Party) says:

    Forget the economy,the priority of the Cabinet and myself is to legalise gay marriage.

    This measure will ensure that we will be confined to Opposition after the 2015 General Election.

    Good Morning.


  24. 40
    Four-eyed English Genius says:

    Of course Balls is like Osborne. They are both out of touch idiots with their noses in the trough!


  25. 42
    Bunny says:

    Balls and Osborne have the fact that they are both privilleged, and have gone from university to politics with very little actual life in between. So they have no life experience and they have to rely on second hand knowledge, that is a lot common. That and they are both useless.


  26. 46
    Anonymous says:

    All politicians are the same,regardless of which color of the they wear..


  27. 49
    Moley says:

    Well, here’s a policy to stimulate growth;

    Reduce VAT on home improvements to 5% for the next year.

    20% VAT is the difference between affordable and unaffordable for a lot of people; (including me).

    I would like to bet that the tax revenue would actually be significantly increased by such a move.


  28. 50
    Yvadne Bo-Locks says:

    No dearest – a woman can tell the difference with her eyes shut.


  29. 57
    David Cameron (Leader of the Nasty Party) says:

    I have listened and will announce that our boys in Afghanistan will all be home for Xmas.

    We shall just have to let the towel heads sort it out amongst themselves.


    • 70
      I hate Parliament so much it hurts says:

      Isn’t it odd that some politicians are calling for the troops to be back “by Christmas”?

      Why Christmas? Why not Halloween, or Bonfire Night? Or St Crispin’s Day? Or two days after the clocks go back?

      Is there a military manual, The Sandhurst Guide to Troop Withdrawal, that says it’s always got to be Christmas? Is it a tried and tested military strategy?


  30. 60
    Beast says:

    Just who are these tosspots that pay to listen to the ramblings of idiots?
    A fat thief and a skinny towel folder who used to enjoy cocaine and a good thrashing from a black dominatrix

    Actually Im with Osborne on this one , obviously a man of taste


  31. 62
    Chutney says:

    Why do family businesses who have average employee retention often of decades have to take lectures on personnel management from ignorant fat fuckers like Balls and Bob Crow


  32. 63
    Bob Crow says:

    Leave Eddie Baby alone. He is a number one bloke. Gets my member voting every time.


    • 64
      Ed Milibland says:

      I don’t much like him; that’th why my firtht choithe of thadow Chanthellor wath Pothtman Prat.

      (Ith it OK for me to thay thith, mithter Crow? I jutht thought you might want my opinion.. thorry. I’ll thut up and thit in the corner until you need my thervitheth.

      Thandwicheth, perhapth?)


  33. 65
    Penfold says:

    What chutzpah, what front, what Balls.

    The man has clearly been reading the handbook of Josef Goebbels, Adolf’s Media SpinMeister and Propagandist-in-Chief.
    Porkies need to be repeated ad-nauseum, so that all will believe the lies as truth in the end, an art that the Socialists have down to a fine art.

    What a shower of mendacious cant this prat talks.


    • 72
      It's all foreplay in the Balls household says:

      He probably read it in the original German, whilst dressed in a original SS uniform, Wagner playing in the background, while Yvette (dressed in Lederhosen) downloaded Triumph des Willens from a torrent site.


    • 85
      headmistress says:

      Penfold, for the 259th time this year, the words are ad nauseAm.

      Nothing to do with storing relics from the past.


  34. 77
    Jimmy says:

    So towelboy is his role model?

    A source close to Jimmy says Bollocks


  35. 87
    John says:

    The thing with Ed Balls is that he lies so pathologically that it’s impossible to believe a word. The captains of industry will smile and nod politely at him, but underneath they all know he is a bloody idiot and a liar.

    Balls of course, so utterly obsessed with his own brilliance and popularity (what was that majority again Ed?) that he trots back to Labour HQ and tells them that the City received his speech well.

    Personally I wouldn’t trust him with a pair of scissors, let along the UK economy.


  36. 88
    Anonymous says:

    And they wonder why people don’t bother to vote.


  37. 89
    Labour mps should be exiled from uk for damage they done says:

    a person said to me that Labour party are pure unadultered evil worse than mike myers from halloween for damage they done. ed milliband is jar jar binxs mp and only total idiot would vote for him

    politicians people don t need them get rid of the lot 100s of politicians, all you need are cahancellor+prime minister and get rid of the expenses greedy rest of them and have no opposition parties either


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