September 14th, 2012

Will Straw Running For Lancashire Labour Candidacy

A little birdy told Guido that Will Straw has been spending time in the Lancashire seat of Rossendale and Darwen. He wrote a piece back in May about how Labour can win in the region, and Guido’s red rose wearing co-conspirator also noticed Will’s Twitter feed has a growing interest in the area. When Guido questioned Will this morning, the dynasty in the making was not denied:

“There is a desperate need for a good candidate to take on the local Tory who won in 2010… I’m talking to local people about whether that right candidate is me.”

With his dad’s seat in the region too, he conveniently already supports the local football team. Kennington’s loss is Lancashire’s gain…


  1. 1
    Es are good says:

    Does he smoke da reefer?

  2. 2
    Will and Guido have clashed before says:

  3. 3
    Sir Tristram Oldtwat says:

    The boy has less personality than Andy Murray!

  4. 4
    Anonymous says:

    Don’t we have enough men of straw already?

  5. 5
    Owen Jones says:

    Hey! What about me?!

  6. 6
    Alan Johnson says:

    I was in bed with the wife when her mobile rang at 3 in the morning, I answered it and told the bloke to stop calling this number and ring the weather office, my wife said who was it? and I replied “some c u n t wanting to know if the coast was clear!”

  7. 7
    Johann Hari says:

    Hey! What about me?!

  8. 8
    Firm But Fair says:

    Inherited wealth and privilege parachutes into a safe seat.

  9. 9
    Straw Man says:

    At least Andy Murray is a winner.(*)

    (*) At last

  10. 10
    David Rose says:

    Hey! What about me?!

  11. 11
    Laurie Penny says:

    Hey! What about me?!

  12. 12
    Sir Tristram Oldtwat says:

    I think you have mistakenly put a second ‘n’ in there!

  13. 13
    jgm2 says:

    Despite his dr*ug-de*aling past.

  14. 14
    John Prescott says:


    Uuum, don’t know what else to say. Oh, wait. Pies!

  15. 15
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Imagine my surprise that he hasn’t applied for his old man’s sinecure or the rotten borough of Blackburn. Nothing quite like keeping it all in the family.

    Perhaps Labour had learnt a lesson after the defeat at Crewe and Nantwich.

  16. 16
    Mad Hattie Harmen says:

    At last we don’t need to make it an all women shortlist, Straw is the biggest fucking woman I know!

  17. 17
    magic tony says:

    bunch of cnuts

  18. 18
    Thick as a Planck says:

    Maybe my eyesight, but is that area marked red above in the correct place/

  19. 19
    jgm2 says:

    Blackburn will fall to ‘Respect’.

  20. 20
    Jody MacIntyre says:

    Hey! What about me?

  21. 21
    jgm2 says:

    Or the B&P.

  22. 22
    Misleading CuntWatch says:

    Hey, that Mirror story about Jeremy Hunt going on holiday just 2 weeks into his new job!!!! – Total misleading bollox, he couldn’t go in July and August as he was delivering 2 very successful Olympic Games!!

    Fucking lefty morons! >>

  23. 23
    Margaret Moran says:

    Hey! What about me?! I’m depressed! Don’t say nasty things about me or my rent-a-shrink will sue you!

  24. 24
    Alexsandr says:


  25. 25
    smoggie says:

    It’s fookin cawld oop there in Northern Lancasheer. The last thing the locals want is some southern twat who thinks it’s a good idea to stop global warming. They’ll ride him down with the hounds and horsewhip the little twerp.

  26. 26
    Alexsandr says:

    the comments below seem to have sussed that

  27. 27
    Very lulzy says:

    LOL!! Good one! :-D

  28. 28
    I hate Parliament so much it hurts says:

    Don’t forget Jack’s cowardly father, Walter, who refused to fight Hitler, preferring instead to cower under a bed in Wandsworth while others risked their lives so Walt and his family could live.

  29. 29
    smoggie says:

    Gorgeous George thought it already had. In fact he thought he was its MP for a moment.

  30. 30
    jgm2 says:

    Obviously I was mistaken about Jack Straw and his criminal record.

  31. 31
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    His grandfather refused to fight the nazis in the second world war.

  32. 32
    I hate Parliament so much it hurts says:

    (response to a comment by jgm2, which seems to have been reaped by the mod-erator.)

  33. 33
    Chuka Urmunneyaround says:

    He’s got my vote then !

  34. 34
    jgm2 says:

    Ooops. Obviously I was mistaken about Will Straw and his criminal record.

  35. 35
    T.B£iar - the People's Messiah says:

    Hold on ! The B£iar Dynasty have first claim !

  36. 36
    jgm2 says:

    I must have made a mistake about Will Straw having a criminal record. Perhaps we must no longer mention it due to the Rehabilitation of Offender’s Act. Or perhaps it never happened.

    I obviously made a mistake.

  37. 37
    David Cameron (Leader of the Nasty Party) says:

    Do you mind if I use this gag at next weeks PMQ’s ?

  38. 38
    Jackass Straw says:

    The cowardice is in the genes, don’t worry about that.

  39. 39
    NE Frontiersman says:

    Many years ago a friend worked in the Civil Service in Barbara Castle’s office. He told me that he had met Jack Straw there, at that time only known as a former NUS figure, who was going to take over her seat when she retired. He saw this as part of the natural order; I wondered at what point the people of Blackburn might be invited to have an opinion.
    It was my first introduction to the rot setting in to the Labour Party, as Hereditary Meritocracy took root. Then Michael Foot said how he wished to abolish the ‘scourge’ of self-employment, while Edmund Dell went straight from the Treasury to Standard Chartered Bank, and the penny began to drop.
    Probably at this very moment little Cryers, Benns and Harmans are having their names put down for a constituency at birth, though I doubt we’ll get to see the register.

  40. 40
    Moley says:

    North Korean politics is alive and well and living in the Labour Party.

    The great leader’s son is unanimously nominated as the best person possible to be the new leader.

  41. 41
    jgm2 says:

    And his father, by way of thanks, declared that the English,as a race, are not worth saving.

    Lovely people.

    It shouldn’t be too difficult to fuck up his election campaign good and proper with a nice glossy A5 hand-delivered to the voters.

  42. 42
  43. 43
    jgm2 says:

    Fucking hell.

    What a gene pool.

  44. 44
    Libyan problems again says:

    How many muslims does it take to change a lightbulb?

    Two. One to change it, and one to blame the J*ws for the old bulb not working anymore.

  45. 45
  46. 46

    What about me? I jutht got back from the world erecthion championshipths and I made it through to the themi’th!!

  47. 47
    JH says:

    After his immaculate stewardship of Left Foot Forward into a profitable, viable ongoing concern I am sure Will Straw is the best candidate.

    It just so happens that he is the offspring of illegal-war-starting illegal-rendition-approving Jack Straw, himself the offspring of a leftist ‘conchie’.

    There is no nepotism at work here at all.

    The Straws, as a political dynasty, are definitely worth saving.

  48. 48
    do me a favour says:

    Typical posh Labour kid.
    Posh school,posh Uni and never had a proper job before being parachuted into a safe seat.

  49. 49
    Penfold says:

    Take some doing to set up a dynasty to rival that of the Kinnocks, now there’s royalty for you.

  50. 50
    Ghost of Greg Stone says:

    Interestingly the seat’s previous incumbent has this on her Wiki page:
    Janet Anderson:

    In 1974 she became the personal assistant to the MP for Blackburn, Barbara Castle and to her successor Jack Straw[2] until the 1987 general election,

  51. 51
    White Van Man says:

    Will Straw? The drug dealer?

    The son of Jack Straw, the war criminal? The geezer who will eventually be tried for torture & crimes against humanity?

    Will Straw – who’s granddad would not fight against fascism?

    Will Straw, the inter generational waana be trougher with no real work experience – apart from selling drugs?

    That Will Straw? He will fit right in with the crooks in Westminster.

  52. 52
    Wat D Fark says:

    Which he appears to have tried to enlarge…

  53. 53
    I hate Parliament so much it hurts says:

    Will was cautioned for allegedly trying to sell dr-ugs, but I don’t think he got a criminal record for it.

    He might well have had a police record. I had one of them. Reggatta de Blanc, I think it was. It was shit, which was probably why it was in the discount bin at OurPrice.

  54. 54
    just asking says:

    Wonder what Will Straw thinks about his Dad costing up to General Pinochet?

  55. 55
    Firm But Fair says:

    No they won’t. Thanks to a bit of Labour’s magic touch with postal votes, a large selection of welfare scroungers and local government slackers they could put a red brick up for election and it would win.

  56. 56
    just asking says:

    cosying not costing.

  57. 57
    Angry of London says:

    Oh Christ – not another one of these country ruining, self-obssessed tossport w*nkers. What a f*cking c*nt. Why can’t he just go and lie under a train.

  58. 58
    JH says:

    Did you get a smackdown?

    Will Straw was definitely caught selling cannabis to an undercover reporter. Strangely this did not result in a criminal record, as it would for mere English mortals, who as we know as a race are not worth saving.

    Yes, Will Straw was definitely caught selling cannabis to an undercover reporter.

  59. 59
    Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    I wonder if there are more hereditary/succession MPs on the lieboore benches than on the Tory side.

  60. 60

    And one more, hidden, to fire the RPG, killing the pro raghead, Arabic speaking and well liked American Ambassador for a rubbish 4×2 “film” ridiculing the Pete O’File Prophet

  61. 61
    a non says:

    Noticeable that Guido can have qualms about the direction that the present coalition has chosen but Straw cannot bring himself to apologise for his part in advising the previous government.

  62. 62
    Strawman says:

    No ‘H’ either. But it may be just out of stock

  63. 63

    think you were right the first time:
    costing: (of an object or an action) require the payment of (a specified sum of money) before it can be acquired or done

  64. 64
    Lord Stansted says:

    with those qualifications, he’s a shoe-in.

  65. 65
    Forkbender says:

    NOT ANOTHER DADDY WAS AN MP, SO I AM GOING TO BE AN MP the tories are not the only one who have this Dynasty (should be dysentery) don’t these politicos realise that the man in the street is fed up with politicos brats being parachuted into the HoC

  66. 66
    Who voted for Shami?? says:

    Totally off topic…Just watched “daily politics Europe”.. J H Christ.. The Eurocrats are even crazier than I thought.. They are in cloud cuckoo land.. Look up European Energy Directive EED.. It’s spine chilling.. They won’t be happy until we are truly f@cked.. European Civilisation engaged in mass suicide.. I’m off!!!

  67. 67
    Forkbender says:

    Not not bad, but it is very different if you are the one who has been cuckolded. Blokes sleep around so what is so different for the lasses, it could be coming to a home near you.

  68. 68
    Forkbender says:

    I think a police caution does go on police records, but not court records, they then provide a ready reference to the coppers of those cautioned so that look them up if they are naughty little boys again.

  69. 69
    Forkbender says:

    I think the line will be blocked for young Blair

  70. 70
    Lefty with no sense of humour says:

    I don’t get it.

  71. 71
    Piss pot says:

    Yes that Will Straw WVM. Every branch of his family tree is rotten. They also have a fine selection of war medals, collected off the bodies of our de8d service personnel. The Straw family have no medals of their own…..just white feathers.

  72. 72
    bergen says:

    I know one really obnoxious bloke who trades his wife in every few years for a younger model and thinks he’s Jack the Lad. Sadly his latest has had an affair that everyone knows about and so he is now the ultimate laughing stock-the old fool whose wife needs to get it somewhere else.

  73. 73
    just asking says:

    Is it Andrew Marr?

  74. 74
    jgm2 says:

    In that case I was misinformed about Will Straw’s dr*ug-dea*ling criminal record and I withdraw my comment.

  75. 75
    Anonymous says:

    Wasn’t there a move for Presclot senior’s HoC seat to be handed to the son ?

  76. 76
    ho hum says:

    Straws (swinging) in the wind ??

  77. 77
    IVF notwithstanding says:

    Hopefully, this Will be the last Straw.

  78. 78
    yoostin says:

    Well the drug dealing didn’t work out as a career so he’s set his sights on something less honourable.

  79. 79
    Funambulist says:

    He was only casing the Joint.

  80. 80
    Enemy of the State says:

    Is he the one who got busted for drugs and Jack got him off?

  81. 81
    Enemy of the State says:

    I left months ago – the UK is finished. Have you seen the fascist pig Barrosso being bitch slapped by Farage?

  82. 82
    S.B.S. says:

    Will Straw, as good as his dad?????

    His dad =
    As much use as “Tits on a fish”

  83. 83
    Anonymous says:

    There is no way I am voting for the grandson of a conscientious objector when my great-grandfather was fighting against fascism in the Far East and getting shot to pieces for it, this little shits relative was doing sweet fa.

    If nobody had stood against Hitler Hitler would have won.

  84. 84
    Anonymous says:

    didn’t he used to be a drug dealer?

  85. 85
    Robert Hamer says:

    The local Conservative MP (not my constituency) is working quite hard at his local profile (100 jobs/apprenticeships in 100 days) and actually seems to be a decent local MP.

    Historically the area was held by the conservatives (David Trippier), Janet Anderson who beat him was singularly useless at everything except exploiting the mileage allowance and the other MP’s expenses. However not as good as David Chaytor my former MP whose family should have been put in the dock as well has him.

  86. 86
    Lord Jensen Interceptor says:

    Is his uncle (Straw’s brother) still in gaol for sex crimes against chidren?

  87. 87
    Pundit too too says:

    Yet another useless Straw in the wind.

  88. 88
    Pundit too too says:

    At least he does speak better English.

  89. 89
    Anonymous says:

    “I always say to people that the candidates need to meet and talk to people and get to know them,” he says, “And they’ve got to get back to people who raise concerns on the doorstep”.
    well that counts Labour out doesn’t it.

  90. 90
    evad666 says:

    “I always say to people that the candidates need to meet and talk to people and get to know them,” he says, “And they’ve got to get back to people who raise concerns on the doorstep”.
    well that counts Labour out doesn’t it.

  91. 91
    Georgeous George says:

    Hereditary Meritocracy took root

    Hereditary mediocrity?
    Hereditary mediocracy?

  92. 92
    Georgeous George says:

    he conveniently already supports the local football team. Kennington’s loss is Lancashire’s gain…

    The whole of the districts of Bacup and Rawtenstall
    The whole of the district of Darwen
    Part of the district of Haslingden (Grane, Helmshore & Ewood Bridge)
    Part of the district of Ramsbottom (Buckhurst, Deeply Vale, Edenfield, Stubbins & Turn)
    The Belmont, Chapeltown, Edgworth and Entwistle areas of Turton

    Darwen used to have their own football league club which went non-league and was wound up in 2009 to be replaced by AFC Darwen. Is this the club he supports or is he a glory hunter in the successor of the Football League?

  93. 93
    Cyclopean Tyrant says:

    Would you vote for a drug dealer?

  94. 94
    Anonymous says:

    Stop sending these twats up here, remember Kitty Usher ?

  95. 95
    Anonymous says:

    I agree but for badness you cannot beat Kitty Usher

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