September 14th, 2012

Unofficial Tory Party Conference T-Shirt On Sale Now

Last week Guido gave you a sneak preview of what would be the must have fashion item of Tory party conference, and now you too can buy this political fashion accessory. Demand is high so make sure you get your order in early…

The T-shirts are just £10 (plus £3 postage and packaging) and you can order by simply clicking on the size you want below:


See you in Birmingham…


  1. 1
    Kebab Time says:

    Might buy one .

    Oh and Dan Hannan telling Barroso the truth on the euro >

    • 7
      Balls and his tea-boy Miliband says:

      Presumably, back in 1981 you would have been wearing a “Don’t blame me, I voted for Heath” shirt…?

      Sorry, but I’m afraid you’re stuck with DC instead, and probably for at least two terms. There’s no way Miliband’s mid-term leads averaging around 8 or 9% will translate into a victory at the next election. As things stand, Labour are heading for their worst election result since 1987. You’ll have to put up with Cameron for another 7 or 8 years…

      • 11
        Huge Grant says:

        Great news for the ‘Anyone but Labour’ camp!

      • 13
        Sorry says:

        Had to smile – you from CCHQ or some other Day Centre for tards?

      • 41
        Giro Bob says:

        Don’t forget Gleggie he’ll still be attached to DC like a tick to a warm scrotum

      • 186
        Kevin T says:

        Miliband is shit, agreed, but unless Cameron gets his boyfiend Clegg to agree to commit electoral suicide and vote for his boundary changes – and unless he completely reverses his position on an EU referendum – the Tories will not get a majority. Miliband will easily scrape up 8 to 9 million votes, as this is the number of benefits monkeys (4 million) added to the number of public sector seat warmers (1 million) added to the number of chippy Scots and northerners (2 million) added to the number of ficticious Pakistanis living above the same chicken takeaway in Bradford (500,000) added to the number of retards (1 million).

        The LibDems won’t support Cameron again, Miliband will lead a shaky coalition that will make the current shambles look like Churchill’s wartime government… and the prophecy foretells that a blond man with a plummy voice, a lot of charm and an eye for the totty will rise….

        • 317
          Mr Nobody says:

          You obviously haven’t been following the polls for the last few decades. A small Labour lead at this stage won’t translate into a lead in 2015. Miliband has no chance of winning, and unless Labour can find a decent replacement and get rid of Balls they’re heading for a heavy defeat.

          Admit it, Kinnock as PM would have had more credibility than either of the two Eds.

        • 320
          CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

          Oh do get educated a little please! The lib dems are playing awkward because the boundary changes and MP number reductions, could prompt a Tory backbench revolt to call an election, something Cameron won’t want either, if implemented too soon. They’ll go down to the wire on it for that reason.

          And it is in the long-term interests of the Liberals to reduce the number of MPs and reduce the substantial Labour bias in the current set-up because fewer MPs mean small majorities and more hung parliaments (get it!) Labour are particularly vulnerable as they historically struggle a lot more than the Conservatives, with small majorities, therefore, more likely pushing them to a point of supporting PR and cosying up to the Lib Dems. The Unions would of course resist this, but it’s the Liberals onlyreal hope of achieving their main aim, of electoral reform.

      • 285
        Anonymous says:

        “You’ll have to put up with Cameron for another 7 or 8 years…”

        Haha! The twat didn’t get elected last time how the fuck will he be elected after the last 2.5 years of shambles? We’ll be putting up with some fuckwit but it wont be him.

        • 318
          CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

          “2.5 years of shambles”

          After inheriting the worst crock of shit any incoming govenment has inherited, you might find that people don’t blame DC or NC, most of the shit hit the fan before May2010. And the 13 years of glorious rule that came before them, you’ll find, may have a much bigger impact on their voting intentions.
          Do not confuse London based media sentiment with real world sentiment.

          Even in opposition they can’t get protest votes in their heartlands. Labour are getting hammered with protests going to SNP in Scotland, and Respect in Urban shit-holes in England.

          In the local elections in May Labour polled 38% in areas that are urban Labour strongholds in General elections . The same voting figures they got in those areas in the 1980′s!! When Labour had areally bad rep in local government.

          So yes, very easily, once you take out the typical gross exagerations of Labour support found in opinion polls and apply known historical voting patterns, Labour could well be where they were in the last election 29%.

      • 315
        Lord Stansted says:

        Miliband has a bit of an ego problem. It seems he will support rich people, provided they worked hard for their money.:

      • 332
    • 17
      Mac Geek says:

      Oh do fuck off!

      • 39
        Forkbender says:

        Wi££y has to clap when Guido writes something he is Guido’s warmup man, he is with his hero and paymaster.

        • 69
          Kebab Time says:

          You can all go fuck youselvers because I only need a few more firsts for 1000.

          • W.W. says:

            Won’t your mother be proud.


          • JH says:

            Surely, after 1000 #1s, you can close your laptop triumphantly, knowing your work here is done.

            With a wry smile, you can stand and face the future, ready to face your next challenge. Lesser men, on fewer tablets, would tremble. But you are ready to leave this blog forever, onward to better things.

            (crosses fingers)

          • 'Gypsy' Dave Cooper says:

            Surely you mean ‘fists’

          • Kebab Time says:

            sticks and stones may hurt me etc

          • JH says:

            Good idea

          • Joe says:

            I’ve been nothing but nice to you and this is how you treat me, telling me to go fuck myself. I thought we had a future together 8illy, what happened to the dreams and plans we had? The dreams we had of stretching your chocolate starfish wile I gave you a reach around on Herring Cove Beach eh? I liked you 8illy, I really really liked you, and to think I was considering leaving my wife for a life of debauched sodomy with a foul mouthed old queen like you!

            Please leave 8illy, for every time I see a kebab or starfish I can not help but think of you and the pain is too much for me to bear. Leave, and maybe just maybe my heart will go on.

          • Drama Queen says:

            Ladies & Gentleman please lets have two minutes silence and think of poor Joe and his great loss today, as we listen to their song and think of what could have been on Herring Cove Beach.

        • 214
          maybe. says:

          as the status rises…so do the number of warm.up men….women…and beyond.
          as they say in the movie, scum….who’s the daddy now.

    • 35
    • 40
      Rogue Trader says:

      You ripoff merchant Guido. They are a fiver on ebay including postage.

      • 306
        smoggie says:

        Tsk, that’s the free market for you: if you don’t like his price, you can go elsewhere. Something you cannot do in the Socialist Utopia.

    • 80
      AC1 says:

      Labour MP tries to bully via legal threats.

      Gets mauled

      • 237
        You could not make it up. says:

        Fellow called Gardiner bullying and threatening legal action against detractor who called him a liar and later a coward?
        Also said Gardiner has vested interests in green energy while being a party political envoy, and travels the world at taxpayer and company expense.
        Yes you are right another corrupt Labour MP in the inner circle of Milliband.

    • 84
      Kebab Time says:

      Is it possiblerly to buys one without a credit card

    • 113
      Anonymous says:

      The government are studying the mechanics of holding a referendum on the EU in order to make it seem like we are getting an opportunity to vote on the issue of in or out. However what they are really doing is trying to work out how to present a referendum that guarantees whatever the outcome we stay in. Therefore Cameron can claim to be acting for the majority by this referendum when in reality he is trying to con us all again.
      All this talk of claiming back powers is simply nonsense for any change to our term will require the consent of all 27 EU members.



      • 117
        Cameron is a snake in the grass says:

        Well said!

        • 129
          Anonymous says:

          2015 THE TORY LAMENT

          Now look at me, an ex MP who once had a majority
          I thought we were the ruling classes choosing to ignore the masses
          Disregard their point of view, no in/out vote on the EU
          Promising the unwashed shower, when were back in we’ll claw back power

          Alack alas that didn’t wash, they thought our promises were tosh
          Our vote took an enormous dip. It seems they all went for UKIP
          UKIP simply had us beat and I have lost my Commons seat
          At Cameron I am much annoyed, for now I’ve joined the unemployed

          We should perhaps at least reflected why it was we were elected
          Listened and took careful note of those who gave their trust and vote
          We were there at their behest, not to serve our own interest
          We’re there to serve, not dictate rules. THE VOTING BRITISH ARE NOT FOOLS

        • 217
          maybe. says:

          snakes as they are as close to the ground as they come…perhaps they are as grounded as they come. …they are at home on mother earth.
          @ground control to
          ….major tom.

      • 203
        J.Edgar Electrolux says:

        Do you wish to remain in or leave the EU . Y/N

        That should just about do it. I’d definitely vote yes.

        • 209
          Expat Geordie says:

          Yes to stay in or yes to leave?

          • Millipede 1 - the one everyone gets confused about. says:

            Yes to sitting on the fence at all times and waiting to catch the next bandwagon.

          • Stale Porridge says:

            That, as they say, makes you a “mugwump”.

            Mug facing one way; wump facing t’other.

        • 313
          The Golem says:

          This is a question that will never be put to the British people by our quisling political class. They may put others, but a true choice for the electorate is the last thing on their minds.

    • 331
    • 338
      Anonymous says:

      Fish says:
      September 14, 2012 at 11:06 pm
      What a plonker anonymous.

      You’ve obviously been listening to Farridge, the swivel eyed fantacist, the leader of a party of bone idle EUSSR troughers, most of their supporters have already had their post mortems.

      CAST IRON GUARANTEE? You were obviously too thick to remember that the coward Brown signed the Lisbon treaty, creeping in after everyone else to sign it out of the spotlight of publicity.

      Cameron’s said he would offer a referendum IF LISBON HADN’T BEEN SIGNED. It had been…by Brown (who was the one who had promised the referendum) but don’t let the truth get in the way of your gulibility.

      Under British parlementry rules NO political party can tie the hands of its sucsessor
      In other words Cameron is not required to stick with any treaty signed by Brown

      But don’t let your ignorance get in the way of truth Cameron is a con-man and it seems you have fallen for the con

      Goodby Tories for decades

  2. 2
    Hopeful says:

    Don’t blame me

    I voted UKIP

    I would buy one of those!

    • 36
      Tardkiller says:

      yeah, with the face of Ed militwat on it, cos thats who you’ll get voting the swivel eyed loony party

      • 48
        Fish says:

        Well said, + 1000

        • 132

          I thought we already had Militwit in power. Isn’t that why Dave is always doing U-turns?

      • 50
        Real Conservative says:

        My my, we are worried aren’t we.

        • 122
          Anonymous says:

          This reshuffle us utter rubbish, the Tories have blown any chance of getting re-elected after the blatant lie of the CAST IRON GAURENTEE for a referendum. As someone in my sixties I do not expect to see another Tory government in my lifetime. They will be in opposition for decades The UKIP vote will torpedo every Tory seat with a majority of 5000 or less and any Tory MP who holds such a seat should start to plan a new career outside of politics.
          Only a fantasist could believe in a Tory recovery outside of an immediate legally binding in/out referendum on EU membership. All this waffle about reclaiming powers after the next election is exactly that WAFFLE.
          Any changes would require the other 26 members to agree to them so forget it
          Plus we all know that the Tory party are 100% Europhiles. Conservatism is now totally finished and has lost both the trust and support of its core vote. Us real Conservatives have had enough of being ignored UKIP for me and as many as I can persuade likewise

          • Fish says:

            What a plonker anonymous.

            You’ve obviously been listening to Farridge, the swivel eyed fantacist, the leader of a party of bone idle EUSSR troughers, most of their supporters have already had their post mortems.

            CAST IRON GUARANTEE? You were obviously too thick to remember that the coward Brown signed the Lisbon treaty, creeping in after everyone else to sign it out of the spotlight of publicity.

            Cameron’s said he would offer a referendum IF LISBON HADN’T BEEN SIGNED. It had been…by Brown (who was the one who had promised the referendum) but don’t let the truth get in the way of your gulibility.

          • Stale Porridge says:

            Did Dave say “signed” or “ratified” which is the next (and final) part of the procedure.

            I don’t think it had been ratified (not enough time) before Dave got into No 10 and if that is the case, he had the power to renege/disown Brown’s illegal signature. Having already been voted out of office, Brown no longer had any authority to go ahead and sign the documents. There may still be a case to be able to challenge this signature.

          • Anonymous says:

            I think the nub of the issue here is the word Democracy, you have no doubt watched the video where Cameron states quite unequivocally that the British electorate should have a referendum on the EU. Now the argument has been voiced that the Lisbon Treaty was done and dusted before he was elected and he has quite bogusly hidden behind this fact. However recently there was an e-petition demanding a debate on a European referendum and this subsequently took place in the HOC. Nevertheless when it came to a vote on this issue Cameron put down a three-line whip to ensure its defeat thereby proving beyond any doubt that he is an undemocratic liar. Now all opinion polls taken result in an overwhelming percentage of the British electorate are desperate for an in/out referendum and even when he applied his three-line whip in the HOC over 80 of his own MPs defied him and voted for a referendum.
            Clearly then on this issue he is totally ignoring both the electorate and a major number of his own MPs for many that voted to support the whip only did so under duress. His bogus pro referendum announcements before the election went some way to ensuring his win but he has now not only reneged on his views on referenda but also took active steps to ensure that one would not take place.
            At the last election UKIP offered Cameron an opportunity to win all these seats by withdrawing their candidate providing he would carry out his promise of a referendum. Cameron declined and it may well have cost him an overall majority. I realise that with UKIP in the mix the Tories will not only loose the next election but may well remain in the political wilderness for at least a decade. His deceit has cost the Conservative cause a great deal for many are now switching their allegiance not because they are no longer Conservative in outlook but they have lost all trust in the Tory party leadership.
            Cameron can promise and even put into law that we will have a referendum after the next election but it just wont wash for no one will believe him, he is a dyed in the wool Europhile and any referendum held will have the ballot paper choices so worded that make the result a fudge.
            Nothing short of a straight forward in/out referendum BEFORE the next election can save the Conservatives and I for one will never vote Tory whilst we are denied one and many others I know feel the same.
            I accept that UKIP won’t win the election but Cameron deserves to loose and he will by a country mile. UKIP will however win the European elections hands down.
            It will be interesting to see by how much the Tories loose Corby

      • 66
        Ex-Conservative (one of millions) says:

        That seems ok. If Cameron’s the next PM, we know for 100 per-cent certainty that we’ll have a hopelessly crap PM, hellbent on burying Britain in débt. But if Miliband’s our next PM, there’s a 99.999999999% probability that we’ll have a totally crap PM, hellbent on burying the country in débt.

        I’ll take a 0.000000001 chance of having a good PM over a 100% certainty of having a crap one.

        You really want more of the same? More of Cameron? Really?

        • 73
          Gooey Blob says:

          If that’s supposed to be a joke, it didn’t work. Cameron’s crap, but he’s infinitely better than Miliband. We’re mid-term in an austerity government, ask yourself why Labour are not thirty points ahead by now, because they should be at this stage in the electoral cycle.

        • 92
          W.W. says:

          exconservative Your figures are wrong, I assure you it is a 100% certainty that Miliband will be an utterly shite PM.

          There is not even a 0.000000001% chance of him being anything other than the second worst PM in history.

          Cameron is also shite, but slightly less so, and he has been dealt a terrible hand (which he is playing badly)


        • 243
          maybe. says:

          unclear about what politicians actually do.
          are they merely power grab.n.go merchants? apart from maintaining our global status, what else is their duty……empowering the nation?

  3. 3
    Gordon Brown says:

    Don’t blame me because I was doing a poo at the time

  4. 4

    A Double Diamond works wonders, works wonders, works wonders, a Double Diamond works wonders…

    So elect one today!

  5. 5
    Gordon Brown says:

    I am petitioning Thesaurus to add Gordon Brown as a synonym for courage

  6. 6
    What's up cock says:

    “How’s that hopey changey stuff coming along…?”

    • 49
      AC1 says:

      Arab winter.

      Good job Obama made sure congress authorised his not a war kinetic military action otherwise he totally owns what happens.


    • 52
      Forkbender says:

      What “hopey changey stuff” old cock, Dave Boy does a lot of changey thingy things, he seems to do that every week, cast iron guaranteed.

  7. 8
    Margo Leadbetter says:

    David Davis is totally unsuitable as a PM, he is far too much of a maverick and his views on human rights are extreme. His pointless resignation creating a bi-election in which he stood for re-election?! was just a waste of public money. D.C. may be far from perfect but D.D. is not a team player and every time he opens his mouth it confirms to me that we had a lucky escape.

    • 14
      W.W. says:

      You have hit the nail on the head, the big problem in british politics.

      We are stuck with him, even though he is shite, he is still better than the next best option, whoever that is.

      Like the Yanks, Romney or Obama, to non entities who will solve nothing.

      Fortuantly I say fuck em, fuck em all.

      I am now going to do whatever is best for me and my family, and ignore what these clowns say, as best I can


      • 19
        Moussa Koussa's pet meerkat says:

        You are stuck with him but he won’t be PM after 2015.

        The reason? Well when the electioneering starts people might think Miliband’s a liar, but they KNOW Cameron is.

        Oh and you won’t have the Liberals to prop you up either.

        • 27
          Sir William Waad says:

          Miliband cannot lie because he has no beliefs or knowledge.

          • I don't need no doctor says:

            I thought he was just plain stupid.

          • Moussa Koussa's pet meerkat says:

            Are you really expecting all of the people, especially public sector workers, who have lost their jobs due to the cuts, are going to vote Tory, whether they did or not in 2010. Turkeys and Christmas perhaps?

          • AC1 says:

            They will if they get jobs in the economically sustainable sector.

          • Expat Geordie says:

            Moussa, what cuts?

            Would these be the sort of cuts where 70 lollipop ladies get sacked to save £270k pa, but then the council CEO and middle managers get huge pay rises?

            NHS “cuts” where expenditure is being increases, but the money is being pissed away in PFI “maintenance” contracts inherited from Labour?

            The Tories might be in “power”, but it is the comrades in the public sector who are implementing the “cuts” and using it as an excuse to crap on the decent people in public service, and blaming the government for their own excesses.

        • 62
          Giro Bob says:

          Be another hung Parliament your choice will be Millbean and Vince (assuming the old c_nt is still with us) or Dave and Gleggie. On the current form Millibean might just do it and get the keys to what is left in the tuck shop, too early to tell. Dave is just not cutting mustard, he just offends more and more people where as Millbean just offends the people he always has.

          Poor choice all round to be honest best thing now is just ignore them and go off radar with your earnings make sure you can defend your own space ( I live rural and the cops have just retreated into the bunker, if you want justice we just do oursleves now, propper man beatings for low lives that fancy a bit of rural nicking, we have a couple of lads back from private security work in Iraq no shortage of the proper gear and tactics)

          • Gooey Blob says:

            Anyone who has followed politics closely over the past few decades will tell you that history is not on Miliband’s side. He has no hope of winning in 2015.

          • Expat Geordie says:

            Then next time there are “travellers” in your patch, am I to assume that you and your neighbours will be adopting the “Hatfield Solution”?

            I understand that farmers in the Hatfield area, when encountered with our travelling bretheren, burned them out at gunpoint, and the bastards didn’t come back.

        • 83
          W.W. says:

          People don’t think Milband is a liar, they don’t think of him at all.

          The next election will almost cetainly be hung, so it will depend who shows the most cleavage to whoever replaces Cleggie.

          Cameron may well be shite, but Milband will have to move up a couple of levels to achieve shiteness.


      • 256
        Pundit Too says:

        When Gordon (I saved the world) Brown was “in power” the adage “in the land of the blind the one-eyed man is king” was truly significant.
        At the next election with Milliband it could be in the land of the blind the sighted village idiot is king.
        It is difficult for me to take on board that any country can be governed by the likes of Milliband (both), Balls, Harperson, Bryne, the Eagle sisters. Its a comedy made in hell.

    • 18
      the savant says:

      when you use the spelling BI election is that a typo or a freudian slip

      or was thhere really a trangue candidate standing against the broken nosed estate boy ??

    • 54
      Real Conservative says:

      Come on Margo, you’re a Conservative, not really one of those left wing central office people. You really don’t believe this stuff you’re writing. Or may be you do, which is why things have to change.

    • 171
      Melvin says:

      And well known within Westminster to be pretty lazy.

  8. 9
    Edinburgh junkies pawn shop says:

    It is going to be an awkward conference.

  9. 10
    Christina Odonetouchmetheredaddy says:

    Loving the “thumbsucker” look

  10. 12
    Google search says:

    a quick roundup of Google “is’ searchs

    Gordon Brown is a moron
    Tony Blair is a war criminal
    Chuka Umunna is he gay
    Owen Jones is an idiot
    laurie penny is an idiot
    sarah brown is leaving general hospital
    george osborne is useless
    david cameron is an idiot

    • 63
      Medic says:

      Don’t be cruel to Chucka yur munny: from the absence of his hair, I suspect he is having to have some sort of chemotherapy.

    • 153
      Max By Graves says:

      Calling Owen “Chaz” Jones an idiot is a cruel slur on honest to goodness idiots like David Cameron.

      Laurie Penny should be buried alive in a pit of quicklime.

      Otherwise a sound and well thought out contribution.

  11. 16
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Se you in Birmingham – “One Day” perhaps Channel 4.

  12. 20
    GnosticBrian says:

    It seems discriminatory to limit the largest available size to XL; how can Eric Pickles express his true feelings?

  13. 21
    NeverRed says:

    Surely T-shirts with a picture of Blair with a noose round his neck with a ‘can’t wait for him to go’ logo would be more appropriate. Or one with Bob Crowe tied to some railway lines.

  14. 22
    Sir William Waad says:

    The trick is to dissent without being disloyal. Dump Cameron, get Miliband.

  15. 23
    breaking news says:

    The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge launch legal action against French magazine Closer over its publication of topless pictures of the duchess, Clarence House says.

  16. 25
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Why didn’t the french magazine Closer publish photos of Diane Abbott sunbathing in the nude?

  17. 28
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Who is paying for the BBC’s Mark Thompson’s leaving spectacular?

  18. 31
    Peter Bone says:

    Mr And Mrs Bone have placed their order.

    I have to say that £3.00 postage and packing is a tad steep though.

    Still it go on expenses anyway,so what the heck !

    • 64
      not a machine reloaded says:

      mmmm hope there is no green belt in Whirlow (Cleggies constituancey) getting planning permission …..&*@!

  19. 33
    This is what upset the muzzies says:

    • 38
      Imam says:

      Try this

      • 93
        JH says:

        Another shocking image here.

        Luckily it only features religions that don’t need to fuck off back to the desert and have a good think about it for about the next 1000 years.

      • 119
        Expat Geordie says:

        I can see why the muzzies would be upset if they saw it. The Truth hurts.

        Not that any of the rioting mobs would have seen it. The thick bastards just do as they are told.

      • 124
        Expat Geordie says:

        I can see where Jeremy Clarkson went wrong now. When JC suggested that striking public sector workers should be shot in front of their families he got slated for it. He should have changed his name to Muzzie Mo, because when he orders a man to be dismembered alive in front of his wife they call him a Prophet.

        • 127
          Some Twat up North says:

          It happens here mate ask your Atos disbility adviser.

          • Expat Geordie says:

            Don’t quite get this ATOS thing.

            A close friend had some health problems and go put on ESA, which paid £28 a week more than the dole. She had an ATOS assessment a couple of years ago and despite being totally incapable of working was declared fit for work. So because she was now “fit for work” she went onto Jobseekers Allowance, but received an extra payment of £28 a week because she was “disabled”.

            So after her assessment she received exactly the same money, but increased the unemployment figures by one.

            The good news is that she is now almost completely recovered and working part time, hoping to go full time in the next few months. But being made to look for work when she was still quite seriously ill probably knocked her recovery back a good six months.

            And as for ATOS, they took over the IT and facilities contract where I work four years ago from EDS (Everything Done Slowly, motto: “We manage your mess for less”). We are now bringing these in-house because they are even worse than EDS.

        • 161
          NeverRed says:

          How about we go and set fire to all Islam countries Embassies in London as protest to the killing of an American ambassador, and take out all the ragheads and vidoe some decapitations (the muslim way).

          • Expat Geordie says:

            I’m up for that. We could start with the Saudi’s is suppose as they seem to be the root of the problem. And since they seem to be using all the oil that they produce themselves according to David Blair in the Telegraph then they are obviously not selling it to us, so it will be no loss.

            (Tried to post the link to here but it isn’t playing, sorry.)

      • 257
        Ali the Barber says:

        Blimey if I knew such piss poor acting, make-up and directing would annoy so many people, I wouldn’t have left the student film club. They could at least kill someone over a half-decent film!

  20. 44
  21. 45
    Postal Voter says:

    Blame me. I voted for TB.

    • 46
      Thick as a Planck says:

      Iron lung for you my lad.

      • 90
        Gooey Blob says:

        With TB we had too much consumption.

        • 128
          Expat Geordie says:

          Pissing myself laughing at that one.

          Hey Guido, that has to be the Quote of the Day.

          • Tuberculosis only killed 1.5 million.

          • Jethro Tehidy says:

            That’s why they had to change its name from ‘Phtisis’: because if you try and say ‘I’ve got Phtisis.’, you tend to spit on and at your interlocutor (there’s probably a less-sesquipedalian word for it, but I can’t ‘call en ‘ome’ at the moment)- and there we are, infected. Mind you, Consumption has a kind of sneeze in the middle…[‘My, you’m lookin’ a bit wisht, medear: whass matter?’ ‘JUus’ bin Doctor’s, ‘n’ ee tol’ me I’ve got Conshumption.’
            I still remember my shock-turning-to-mirth when someone said to me (with impressively solemn face): ‘See that Girl over there? She’s got T.B.’
            ‘Yea, she’s got T.B. all right: two beauties.’

          • Sir Astley Cooper certainly knew what he was doing.

          • maybe. says:

            did nulab go further in incompetency than any other government…ever?
            it’s leaders were described as world class by andrew neil on This Week once.

          • It was not just an accident for sure.

            You have to worked damned hard to bring about a crash of those proportions.

          • maybe. says:

            Brown worked hard and long. Blair put up with hard Brown for a long time. a lot of the rest of us were off our heads during this time.
            a lot of hard work went into being off.our.heads.

        • 158
          Harry Hill says:

          My Dad always said laughter was the best medicine. Thats why most of my family died of TB.

  22. 59
    not a machine reloaded says:

    I wonder if some wheeze could be made on Obamas slogan “forward” …… “for warned ” wealth reversal policy

    All seems such a long way off now the checz speech . Were already in for £40bn via the IMF

  23. 67
    Kebab Time says:
  24. 68
    Chukwit says:

    i am bald

  25. 70
    Making a mountain out of a Molehill says:

    I can understand Kate being upset. All the world now knows her Tits are smaller than Wills’ man boobs.

  26. 76
    not a machine reloaded says:

    Not forgetting the dance on Labours grave party pack ….. wha wha wha whaaaa

  27. 79
    kebab Watch says:

    1 hour ago: “@Ontablets Email size and address.”

    Guido, would you like to reword this!!

  28. 86
    Ingham attacks "bonkers" Tory behaviour says:

    The Evening Standard has printed a letter from Bernard Ingham in which he says the Tory party’s current bonkers behaviour reminds him of the hysteria when Thatcher was removed. He says they don’t seem to grasp that they’re in a coalition and are therefore limited in what they can do, and as such, no one knows the real Cameron because he’s leading a coalition. He adds that he’d have more sympathy for the bonkers element of the party if they were determined to make this the last peacetime coalition but their behaviour makes it less likely.

    • 96
      Tory Party RIP - killed by Camoron says:

      I thought Bernard Ingham was long dead.

      Still, writing letters to the Evening Standard must give him an enormous sense of power and purpose.

    • 131
      Expat Geordie says:

      Is this the same Bernard Ingham who was a Labour councillor before becoming Maggie’s press officer. Perhaps he is reverting to type in his dotage.

    • 289
      the real Cameron says:

      Me? I haven’t got a clue what I stand for. Never did. Never will.

  29. 89
    Geoffrey Brooking says:

    We need the one’s with ‘BACK BORIS’ on the front Guido

  30. 91
    Aunty Matter says:

    Had to laugh at Nicky Campbell and Peter Allen on Radio 5 trying to argue with lunatic Muslims that just because someone makes a piss take video of their beloved Prophet that’s not excuse to murder people.

    Abdul Bari Atwan didn’t seem to agree though, he was a hoot even hard lefty Peter Allen was near despair with this Muslim mong.

    • 98

      Peter Allen is about as impartial as you can get at the Beeb.
      No doubt a card carrying,Islington lefty, but at least he tries to see over the hill.

      He regularly made Jacqui Smith look very foolish.
      Not hard to do I know. But Victoria Derbshire never managed it

    • 134
      Expat Geordie says:

      It’s not even about the bloody video. Some muzzie nutters launched a series of co-ordinated attacks on US diplomatic premises and personnel and are using a video that no-one in muzzie land has seen, or ever will see, as cover. Remove the video as an excuse and the authorities in the countries where the attacks happened will be forced to let the Yanks move in to investigate.

    • 326
      Anonymous says:

      Almost as funny as the Lamont- Montague encounter on R4 this morning. He corrected a number of her left wing misconceptions relating to Black Wednesday – she started interrupting his answers & then accused him of being agry. What a socialist twat she is.

  31. 94
    Eurolalaland says:

  32. 95
    Scotchland of the EU says:

    • 100
      Deutschland ueber Alex says:

      You’d think that even a mong like Alex Salmond would realise what cash-strapped Brussels and its Fourth Reich has planned for tiny little Scotland’s oil reserves.

      • 110
        annette curton says:

        Yeah, why bother with a Panzer dash to the Urals.

      • 142
        Expat Geordie says:

        Of course if Shetland decides to become independent of Scotland, or join it’s old colonial master Norway, or even votes to remain with the United Kingdom (lite?) then Scotland will have no oil reserves.

        When you look at Ireland, and look at how Scotland might go, the old Republicans and Nationalists must be turning in their graves at the thought of getting independence from Britain and then handing it over to a load of grasping foreigners.

        There is a line in one of the Sharpe films where and Irish priest, when questioned as to why he is spying for the British, says “John Bull might be a bad neighbour, but Napoleon is a bully.”

      • 334
        Max By Graves says:

        Alex Salmon face is nothing more than a Tartan Hugo Chavez wannabe.

  33. 99
    Jimmy says:

    Looks like Guido sagged the last XXL

  34. 112
    annette curton says:

    Get some T-shirts with:
    ———Warning by H.M. Government
    This Country can seriously damage your Sanity
    …emblazoned across them
    And I might subscribe,

  35. 133
    annette curton says:

    Has the Guido Fawkes label got the same caché as Yves St-Laurent?.

  36. 135
  37. 150
    annette curton says:
    Well, I would never have known that a ban was in force. PC Clegg will now have you tried by a jury of people that are not compus mentis.

    • 165
      Expat Geordie says:

      Could it be any worse than it is now. When I did jury service one of the women said that the defendent must be guilty as her husband said that the police would bring it to court if he wasn’t guilty! There’s nothing like trying a case on the evidence, and this was nothing like it.

      That case, incidentally, had the other 11 jurors wondering why it had ever been brought to trial as there was no evidence that a crime had even been committed. It was a child abuse case where it was pretty obvious to the 11 of us that the “victim” was making it up because he hadn’t been able to get his own way. Most of us felt that the “victim” should have been charged with perjury, but as it was a majority verdict then that could never happen.

      • 329
        Expat Geordie says:

        Should have said:

        “one of the women said that the defendent must be guilty as her husband said that the police WOULDN’T bring it to court if he wasn’t guilty!”

    • 205
      jgm2 says:

      It’ll mean when Brown’s diagnosis is made public he’ll still be able to remain an MP.

  38. 169
    Eurotopia says:

    Eurozone unemployment hits record 18 million.

    Unemployment across the eurozone hit a record 18 million in July, the EU statistics agency Eurostat said. Some 88,000 people joined the ranks of the unemployed throughout July, well over 100 people per hour.

    The 18,002,000 jobless total was the highest since records began in 1995, and has left the European Commission fretting over potential unrest on the streets of Europe’s capitals.

  39. 175

    Prince William and Katie have begun a legal action over the topless photographs.

    The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have begun legal action in France against the editor and publisher of ‘Closer’ magazine that printed photos of the Duchess topless while on holiday in a private home.

    • 181
      Courtier in Waiting says:

      Very unwise. The story will now run and run, with many re-publishments of the photos. Anglesey will be crawling with pap-arattzi. Much better just to have ignored the prurient Frogs. What is the problem with topless pictures of a beautiful young woman anyway?

      • 195
        Jethro says:

        … “woman”, yes; “young”, I suppose so; ‘beautiful’…really?

      • 200
        nellnewman says:

        I agree . Best to have ignored and then the story would have died.

      • 232

        Do not forget that the French have (rightly or wrongly, it matters not for this argument) the world’s strictest privacy laws.

        The business decision taken will have taken into account the likelihood of being fined for an unquestionably illegal breach of privacy there against the potential profits to be made from the revenue generated, which are likely to be much higher.

        An odd example of French capitalism at work, perhaps.

      • 296
        maybe. says:

        topless and global brand…..something have to give. royalty enjoys extreme privileges…..and with that come extreme responsibility. it appears.

    • 335
      Rt Hon William Hague says:

      If you’re selling those puppies, I’ll have the one with the pink nose.

  40. 176
    Synic says:

    Will this comment appear above or below the Wonderbra ad. Here goes ….

  41. 180
  42. 199
    nellnewman says:

    Poor cameron first assailed by boris now david davis. Where will it all end?!

  43. 207

    …an exuberant chronicle of ecstatic inebriation, delusional utopianism, wretched excess and chastened nostalgia for lost highs.



    Well that will do for a start…

  44. 218
    Anonymous says:

    errrrrrr…”Dont Blame Me”

    errrrrrr…..But the Tory Grass roots did select Call Me Dave

  45. 219
    Qwerty says:

    errrrrr….Dont Blame Me

    errrrr……didnt Tory Grass roots select call me Dave

    Havin a pop at the rank and file

    Keep up the bad work Guido…divided partys never win

  46. 223
    Qwerty says:

    Prince William and his wife Kate have launched a legal action for breach of privacy against the publishers of France’s Closer magazine after it printed topless pictures of her on holiday

    errrrrrr and who will be PAYING for this acion…Oh yes the tax payer.

    So while a chap is sacked by his boss, because the boss doesnt like the fact that he wears a hat. The employee can go to hell. No comp, no legal rights, no help… But We have to pay the royals legal fees…Oh dear

  47. 224
    Synic says:

    The UK of PC Bollux is in rude good health. £41k p.a. of taxpayers’s money spent on storing 20,000 prisoners’ mobile phones. Our fxxking idiot politicians are wasting time discussing what to do. Just hit each phone with a sledgehammer in front of the offender until it is suitably wrecked. Commonsense. Simples.

  48. 229
    Aunty Matter says:

    Kate Middleton must be the only bint to go to university and not have any topless pictures on the internet.

    Get over it. Tits are everywhere.

  49. 230
    Tony Midas says:

    I’m a bit short of cash this month — do any of you Frog mags. want some novelty pics. of me eating cherrys?

  50. 236
    Asdfghj says:

    Lovin The Suns reaction

    Two weeks ago — Harry nude..this was Ok, freedom of the press etc etc blar blar public interest blar blar blar

    ..and then today

    Flip floping like Dave

  51. 244
    Qwerty says:

    Not a bad day for Dave

    …Only two u-turns

  52. 246
    Qwerty says:

    Royal wedding…no bounce bounce
    Olympics…no bounce
    Reshuffle…no bounce
    The economy…errr actually gone into reverse since May 20120…while the debt get bigger.

  53. 250
    Hold on to your arse says:

    Meanwhile in the US of A Bernanke’s QE3 to infinity and beyond of $40 Billions worth of money printing per month from now on, is the first fart to hit the blades of the fan.

    It starts here.

    • 258
      Sir Merv (soon to be Lord Threadneedle) says:

      I’ve farted out £375bn to date — look what a success that’s been!

    • 262
      WVM says:

      Release the Kracken!

      • 266
        annette curton says:

      • 271
        not a machine says:

        release the Crackers !

        I Phone 5 has done more for USA economy than QE3 .

        Time to strike a new deal with the EU ??? mmmm how about just reducing it to a heads of gov department talking shop sticking with national sovereignties and a rubber stamp legislature , should have that £50mn per day down in no time and some growth :)

    • 265
      Joe says:

      They wanna start a new protest movement in America and call it “Occupy Fort Knox”.

    • 275
      WVM says:

      Remember what help cause the Arab Spring?
      Bernanke’s QE1 and QE2 which created massive inflation in the middle-east by raising food prices through the roof there. Well, with the ever growing populations in the barren scrub land deserts of the middle east where the importation of food is the norm, things are gonna get a whole lot worse. Unless of course you have oil.

  54. 278
    Bread & Circuses says:

    Fuck me, if Boris is the answer I’m c unted if I know what the question is !

    • 293
      BoJo is the new Dave says:

      Are you thick or something?

      The question is, what is the answer?

      The answer is Boris.

      • 305 says:

        The question is “What do you get when you replace one upper class toff with another upper class toff that no-one north of Watford will vote for?”

        The answer is “Hammered”.

  55. 280

    Boris Johnson is Britain’s most respected politician. Grauniad

  56. 282
    It's easy to post the least boring comment in a week on here says:

  57. 283
    'Gypsy' Dave Cooper says:

  58. 286
    A right Royal mess. says:

    And the royal protection squad and William did not think to advise kate that this is a bloody stupid location to take her kit off?

    On this one I would say the damage is self inflicted and they have little to complain about.

    • 290
      Brenda says:

      One either keeps them covered, or one does not.

      • 292
        Makes I want to weep. says:

        At least a camera lens is not as lethal as a sniper rifle. Can’t believe the total un-professionalism of the protection squad.

        That pool is sited on top of Château d’Autet and is visible for miles around. This was an accident waiting to happen. Should never have happened and all the litigation in the world will not take that away.

        Victims of their own stupidity rather than the “paps”.

    • 307
      Timmy Tin Foil says:

      Perhaps a decision was taken to allow such a thing to happen to make it abundantly clear that the press really are jackals, and that it isn’t only a somewhat-irresponsible-about-his-personal-security-and-privacy Prince who can be photographed in a state of deshabille and have pictures show up in some salacious rag somewhere. You might think, “Oh well, boys will be boys!” when Wills’s brother, who has been known to go on a pisser and do foolish things, has his buttocks shown for the world to see; it’s quite another when Mrs Wills, who has no such reputation, is photographed with the baby-feeders out in a much-less- sexually-charged environment. One could imagine the Palace thinking, “OK, they’re going to keep it up till they get a shot of Catherine in a state of undress– better you should tempt fate and let it happen sooner than later, Kate, so that we can roundly condemn such an act, and maybe they’ll let up thereafter, having got what they wanted. And your figure isn’t THAT embarrassing, Kate…”

  59. 291
    Durrr...... says:

    Yeah , right ……..

    *Bides her time…..*

  60. 294
    E says:

    It jus makes me angry that u ain’t got no original thought in ur bonce .

    Shit happens , I spose :(

    E x .

  61. 297
    For Mr. H a r r y C o l e, a muppet says:

    You won’t get this, which makes it all the more beautiful. You are a bell-end, after all:

  62. 303
    albacore says:

    Ain’t you pig-sick of this pantomime yet?
    Chewing over which slimy prick you get
    Sweeping up all of that LibLabCon dirt
    With just one pathetic protest tee-shirt

  63. 310
  64. 321
    Just Checking says:

    Wasn’t he in the Kinks?

  65. 339
    Leslie Phillips says:

    Voting for double Ds eh? sounds like a good idea to me!

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Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

Dan Hodges on Team Miliband:

“‘Poisonous’, was the picture painted by one former senior advisor. ‘Dysfunctional,’ said one shadow cabinet member. ‘A bunch of medieval courtiers, not an office,’ said another. The most positive description I could get was ‘It’s a work in progress. They’re learning. Slowly. But they are learning.’”

Nick Clegg says:

Do you want lies with that?

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