This week the winner will receive a copy of the new Toryboy the Movie DVD, hitting the shelves in October.
The film that exposed Sir Stuart Bell’s lazy life in Paris is a must-watch for any fans of the Thick of It. The likes of Jesse Norman, Ron Halfon and Lord Ashcroft found it hilarious, so don’t miss out on your chance to win.
Usual rules apply…
Secret of Farage’s Success | Prospect
It Was Beeb Not Tabloids That Smeared Help For Heroes | Speccie
Alternatives to Business For Britain Are Muppets | Charlie Mullins
Obama Counsel Knew of IRS Claims Weeks Ago | WSJ
Bunga Bunga Trial: Dancing Girls, Nuns, Nurses & Obama | Reuters
Dave Must Learn From Conan the Barbarian | James Kirkup
Tory Infighting Will Let Miliband In | The Commentator
Real Swivel-Eyed Loons Are in Number Ten | Telegraph
Bozier Accepts Caution | Political Scrapbook
Getting to Know U-KIP | ConservativeHome
Farage Telegraph Advert | Political Scrapbook
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
Tom Harris bemoans the public’s attitude to politicians…
“Mr Oborne echoes the lazy, anti-politics whine we hear so often these days, all based on the absurd notion that politicians were once loved and only fell out of public favour during the expenses scandal. He should take a walk to the Strangers’ Bar. But not to sup with the patrons he seems to despise so much, dearie me, no; he should instead look at the paintings on the corridor outside the bar, which depict the devastating fire which consumed most of the Palace in 1834. And he should reflect on the fact that on that dramatic night, as the Commons went up in flames, a crowd gathered on the South Bank to clap and cheer.”
” Evans, dear boy, Evans “
“Dave attempts the Usian Bolt celebration, and fails”
Cameron takes hostage as he reverts to plan B
It’s you that needs someone at their back not me David!!
81lly, the idea is to suggest a caption that is funny!
Prefer 8ill’s comment
Lenin airbrushed out of ‘photo
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/09/14/article-2203006-1502FA86000005DC-93_468x489.jpg
This way for BJ.
Dave : “will someone rid me of this Dorries woman”
81lly, read Guido’s advice to you in red on this link
http://order-order.com/2011/02/09/comment-of-the-day/#comments
See 92
“No french magazine photos for you, luv…”
Either you increase exports or the blonde get’s it.
“poke”
“no one pokes anymore Dave, we RT”
Dave is deffo Stayin alive !
http://order-order.com/2011/02/09/comment-of-the-day/#comments
8illy’s comment fits the picture Yours don’t
humerus – the game is up – only 81lly writes this badly.
humerus is spelt humourus
Yours should be yours
don’t should be doesn’t
>humerus is spelt humourus
Illiterate twat.
dont be pydantic
Dave ” To my right is the 1922 Committee in session”
Dave : As you can see theres plenty room for another U Turn over there.
the question you have to ask yourself is did I fire 5 or 6 MPs. Do you feel lucky?
I’m afraid it gets worse than that PM, as you can see over there, Boris has also been pictured taking his top off..
Is that a gun in the back of my head or am I getting the Beecroft treatment?
Paranoid Prime Minister starts to see Boris everywhere.
Dave gives up “ninja Fruit” for “Worms” but fails to realise “prod” is not as dangerous in real life.
Opss-ey, bye bye
Surely one must get a replacement bung with these things?
And over there we have Chris Huhne waiting for his impending court case.. chuckle chuckle..
“…and if I turn it the other way, her left leg moves back again”
Well, all I can see is two aspirins on an ironing board, but take the pics if you want..
When you said ‘a trip to Amazon’ I thought you meant the fucking river.
So, that’s the way to Amaretto? Hic..
Dave hoped the next election was in the bag if he could just get the finger puppet to say what he wanted.
“She was walking down the white tiled corridor, with the feeling of walking in the sunlight, and an armed guard at his back. The long-hoped-for bullet was entering her brain… She gazed up at the enormous ego… Seven years it had taken her to learn what kind of smile was hidden beneath the thin veneer of pseudo-conservative policies… But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. She had won the victory over herself. She loved Big Dave.”
The file, ‘Conservative Policies’ is somewhere over there
Stop, or my thumb will shoot
C’mon bitch. Make my day!
you’re thinking that in the confusion I forgot if I fired five or six times….well do you punk…go ahead make my day.
There is absolutely no truth in the rumour I was spineless in those Kate topless pics..
The frustrated woman didn’t appreciate the fingers going in further…
Dave: Now where can I lose this bogey
Dave: me? I’d never ‘stab’ you in the back
Oh, you asked me to visiit your warehouse…..
Dave checks out future B & Q job vacancies
So I went in B&Q and this bloke in an orange suit asked me if I wanted decking. So i hit him first.
I remember daddy letting me at with real guns
Tag… your it.
now where is the off switch?
Who’d like to see topless photos of me?
http://www.anorak.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Tom-Watson.jpg
‘ The champagne and oysters are over there ‘
Cameron gives the legend of the ‘Boy with his Finger in the Dyke’ a more modern twist.
Look Nadine. I think the sniper you hired is over there.
My finger is trapped. Didn’t think she was a dyke.
Nadine, Nadine, Nadine, Na-deeeen, I’m beggin’ of you please don’t make me shoot!
“And if you place your finger on the switch here you can swivel her eyes more readily in their sockets, not unlike my old action man.”
That’s the bit they’ve had to shut down since we came to power.
You know, If I’d had as many dodgy postal votes as this lot, there wouldn’t be a coalition
Cameron visits Ikea.
Wants conserve a tory tips.
If you put your first shot here, death should be instantaneous
Pamela Stephenson fired by Dave
Application of this pressure point here and you’re mine ahh ha ha ha
I think I smell meatballs and mini hot dogs coming from over there, so that MUST be the exit!
Are those trousers on the top shelf, likely to fit me better?
… and if you look over there, you’ll see where we keep Nadine …
” I’ll get Sam to give you the name of her hairdresser”
How many people have you sacked recently?
That awkward moment when the puppeteer ruins the illusion.
” Boris has less on the back, more on the front “
“Dave tries to divert her attention just long enough for the photog to attempt an ‘upskirt’ shot…”
“I have set my life upon a cast.
And I will stand the hazard of the die”
shakespeare – RichardIII
“If you were to pose topless up there, it might take the heat of Kate, and I would take a Closer look “
“Can I blow your brains out like you did mine?”
“it must be right”
See that odd looking chap in the overalls? The grumpy, smelly looking janitor type?
I think he used to live in my house.
And if you look to the Right you’ll see where my career died……..
“It may be a Co-op Funeral Parlor, but why are all the Tories still on the top shelf?”
…maybe there’s something to sort out this leadership challenge in the self assembly aisle.
lets see…..Gibbets, Garottes, Grenades, Gatling Guns, Gallows…Ahh! here we are ..Guillotines!
Vince Cable has just today changed the employment laws, making it easier to sack someone.
So you can fuck off.
Dave: “Yes, all these packages contain fifty-pound notes that I’m going to give to the EU. And over there points, that’s a warehouse full of fifty-pound notes that I’m going to donate to India’s space programme.”
- Do you know order-order has a caption comp featuring us?
-Really? what’s the prize.
-Something about being a Tory.
-I don’t think I’d want to watch anything like that.
Nadine sensed a little prick behind her….
Is that finger loaded?
David Cameron messes up Winston Churchill’s two finger salute.
http://www.news.yahoo.com/ku-klux-klan-sues-georgia-bid-adopt-road-233228866.html
“…and if I touch this spot here, it makes one of your legs go all funny.”
” over there…that’s the U-Turn Shelf “
” next to the long-grass shelf “
Don’t move, this is an upstick.
Cameron: “If you’re blonde, what are you doing over here? Shouldn’t you be behind me where the sign says ‘BL’? Mind you, my Government is all over the place so who am I to talk?”
“See, all the Tories on the top shelf.
Or… ” All Tories, top shelf”
“My ratings used to be up there”
Bitches rest room is that way Nadine
Dave – You’re termnated
Some people think I’m a contemptible Hunt – but I’ve got my best interests at heart!
‘ I would very much like to take you camping, my pretty ‘
And up there is where Guido keeps his Rules. Well out of site.
Thick…. ‘sight’ even
You have hair just like Boris’s, you’re fired.
‘ My nanny used to have hair like yours ‘
Let me see, what did they say? Ah yes, red button to deactivate!
“Fancy a quickie behind the forklift over there?”
This is what I’m going to do to Cleggers one of these days.
“…and that’s the 20×30 foot picture of Kate Middleton that Boris asked the printers to run off”
Ron? Halfon
Over there is Nadine, still on the shelf.
W.W.
I said I need this like a hole in the head.
If Bliar can use a colourant maybe I should consider heir loss treatment.
Blondes have more dumb.
” …and that top shelf is full of cartoons about the prophet, Mohammed “
” ..and that’s the Chinese version of Pick ‘n Mix “
“Manifesto promises…no! That’s what I call a tall story “
They’re the straights.
They’re the bents
There’re the U turns
Dave pulled the Tory Barbie cord once more before packing the by-election parachute.
Dave pulled the Tory Barbie’s cord to make sure she was on message
Dave pulled the Tory Barbie.
Cleethorpes’ version of Madame Tussauds funding ran out after installing just the one Conservative.
“Silly bitch… you’ve got your Boris wig on back-to-front”
And that’s where Guido parked 8illy
Where are you going with this, IKEA boy?
This is where you’ll be working after 2015 [B&Q]. They have a ‘positive discrimination’ policy about hiring older women.
Dave’s attempt at a Vulcan death grip fails.
…doctor – I have this useless flap of skin at the back of my head…
Sorry to have to do this but I’m a woman short for cabinet.
Craig Oliver from behind the camera: “No! Not that one! I said ‘shoot the blonde that’s causing you real trouble.’ “
“Is that a little nit I see, or is it just me?”
Dave’s audition as a porn star doesn’t go too well.
‘Not there, Dave. It’s between her legs.’
“Damn, even with a silencer, there’s gonna be a huge echo….”
“Why is that piano hanging up there over the podium?”
Dave has difficulty in finding the Tory party’s clitoris.
..and over there, is where I have shelved Nick “Tea boy” Clegg’s chances of being the leader of those yellow fellows at the next election.
Fembot accepts second best when Boris fails to show
Oh look…shit for brains…I may be able to use you after all my dear.
I look like a very nice lady — reminiscent of Wendy Craig in her prime .
In fact …..
Look she’s got a bald patch too.
Dave says “Nice rack!”
Winner!
After sacking female ministers in the reshuffle, Dave resorts to female finger-puppets
I’ve already told you, get me out of IKEA or the Scandanavian gets it.
Man models trousers that are too long for him.
how about leaning over that dear….
Mad Bad Nads at one of Fads’ Sad Pads when Ram Jam Cam did the Wham Bam Ham.
Hot Damn!
I push my finger in, I pull my finger out, in, out, in, out, I wiggle it all about….
“Calm down dear, I’m not please to see you”
Dizzy Dave: “And this is where the Government keeps it boxes of spare soldiers, ever ready to be opened for when the UK Government decides to partake in yet another needless war, or for bailing out our political careers when dealing with strikers, unions, G4S and the like . . .”
That’s the very mirror I used when I bought these trousers.
Dizzy Dave: “And on that side of the vault, opposite Tony’s shelves, is where I’ll store all the money I intend making after leaving office.”
Dave aghast at size of Boris’s personal condom store
If we’re going to win the election we’ll need a “Kill Dorries Strategy”
‘Go on, show ‘em your tits sweetheart!’
David found the view inside Tony Blair’s wallet simply breathtaking
“Well, we’ve already passed BL, Nadine. So the BJ section must be over there.”
Ewwww you’ve got Nits
I love the smell of Nadine in the morning !
Dave reveaks his inner Margaret Thatcher
Dave reveals his inner Margaret Thatcher (oops finga trbl)
Just look at all this tat! Thats why I shop on line.
This is Dave’s new twisted dance version of the “pas a doble”; an initiation rite for incoming and outgoing MP’s
“Darling, Boris may be waving his shlong at you but he is trying to fuck me”
‘Hows this for a joke….I can see a nit—wit?)
Push here for tea…
Dave “The door’s over there love”
Once we have closed down all the Design and Manufacturing we can start to build more nice clean warehouses like this.
That’s where all the debt the BOE are buying up with QE will be kept.
Andy Edinburgh
‘Like I said, this is where, you, Boris, Cleggie and the rest are going to get it!’
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2203908/Sexist-cabinet-reshuffle-forces-women-power-list-Theresa-May-highest-sixth.html
sEXIST CABINET RESHUFFLE. Oops Caps lock on! Window dressing forced down to 6.
Nadine: Nice book depository David.
David: Yes, and over there we have a grassy knoll