September 13th, 2012

14 Tory MPs Want Dave’s Head


  1. 1
    Kebab Time says:

    Bring back Baroness Thatcher!!!!

    Oh and the only way is Essex >

  2. 2
    markreckons says:

    But does Guido know of another 31?!

    That’s the problem.

    It’s Brown all over again.

  3. 3
    Mr Ed says:

    Seven-a-side footie, anyone ?

  4. 4
    National Socialist says:

    Let’s have a General Election. Then we’d know where we stand.

  5. 5
    Gordon Brown says:

    My vote is for sausage and egg

  6. 6
    National Socialist says:

    Anyway won’t they wait until the conference is over before dumping him?

  7. 7
    jgm2 says:

    A prudent choice from a prudent chancellor PM absentee MP.

  8. 8
    Steve Miliband says:

    Dump Clegg

  9. 9
    Richard says:

    Dave would be better serving Pimms to young female graduates at Cameron & Co PR Agency.

    Cameron is not a mouse, he is a posh boy who does not know what to do

  10. 10
    DaveyC says:

    10 steps to a better Britain in the next 12 months:

    1) Get Boris into Goldsmith’s seat
    2) Get the 46 sigs
    3) Ditch Dave
    4) Install Bojo
    5) Call Election
    6) Consign Clegg to history
    7) Exit EU
    8) Slash taxes.
    9) Can 50% of all public sector workers
    10) Get on with our fucking lives.

  11. 11
    The Hand That Rocks The Cradle says:

    Just 32 more and we can be rid of the misery of continuity Brown……

    …… come on MP’s you can do it.

    P.S. Not you Yeo – you can rot in hell.

  12. 12
    jgm2 says:

    I’d vote for that.

  13. 13
    jgm2 says:

    Nope. Even Yeo can sign.

    Then he can rot in hell.

  14. 14
    nellnewman says:

    14? Is that all? What happened to the 90 or so who rebelled over that eu vote? They need to be getting a backbone!

  15. 15
  16. 16
    TC says:

    Spot on DaveyC.

  17. 17
    nellnewman says:

    Well he might be prudent with his own money but he wasn’t prudent with ours.

  18. 18


    If they want a fifteenth they have only to offer the usual quango appointments and select committee jollys and my goes on the list.

  19. 19
    nellnewman says:

    Unless we then end up with a lib/lab coalition. That would be called jumping out of the frying pan into the fire!

  20. 20
    A poor choice of words says:

    “14 Tory MPs Want Dave’s Head”


  21. 21
    EdMiliband says:

    6 Ed Miliband forms Coalition with Vincent
    7 Spending increases
    8 Pay EU more
    9 Create 1 million jobs in public sector
    10 Increase taxes
    11 Tax Bankers
    12 Tax Wealth
    13 Appoint Tony Blair as EU commissioner
    14 Lord Gordon Brown head of IMF
    15 PFI
    16 Raid Pensions
    17 Print more money

  22. 22
    Richard says:

    I always wondered what it would have been like if Gordon Brown had remained in office – we now know

  23. 23
    Loungelizard says:

    What he said.

  24. 24
    Henk says:

    If there are any of Cameron’s boys reading this, your team is going down just like when the Comprehensive boys kicked you’re asses and stole your girlfriends when at school.

    Being posh is not enough

  25. 25
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    LOL – twat.

  26. 26
    jgm2 says:

    That is indeed the risk. Which is why it won’t happen. We have to hope that, somehow, the economy starts to improve (although if it looks like doing so I expect the unions to step in with a few strikes to keep GDP under control).

    There’s still three years of ‘natural wastage’ from the public sector which should see another 600,000 (at least) of ‘em off the tax-payer’s teat so the deficit should be improving all the time.

    That and the true horror of Nasal Ned on TV for four weeks whining his way through his speeches and trying to look statesmanlike might yet do the job. It had better. I’m counting on the two Neds being Cameron’s greatest asset.

  27. 27
    Dave is not for the Grave. says:

    Guido. You know, I know, everyone knows that it ain’t going to happen. This is just pre party conference positioning Come the day of his speech Dave will make all the right noises.

    He has to drop the because he is a Tory he is a gayer meme though.

  28. 28
    David Laws don't apply to benders says:

    His head? I want his arse!

  29. 29
    Steve Miliband says:

    Just need some confidence.

    Oh and the trillions of private debt to be written off.

  30. 30

    We had one of those in the 70’s.

    It was about as much use as tits on a screwdriver.

    IMF anyone?

  31. 31
    Nick says:

    no bum boys being taken up the aisle? BIGOT!!

  32. 32

    Cameron is not a Tory, he’s a Heathite.

  33. 33
    Dave's bumboy cabal says:


  34. 34
    I'm Alright on Me Own says:

    DaveyC’s plan won’t work as much as we’d all love to see it. Boris would spend as much money he does not have as Dave and he would never take you out the EU, indeed you better get ready for the next wave of EU jobseekers from Turkey if Boris has his way. There is not a single mainstream politco going to take you out the EU till the Tory Party splits and a new Conservative Party is formed to do this. That is why UKIP needs to wind up and put its members into the Tory Party, to split it and get things moving.

  35. 35
    Stones moved, we think we've found the smell says:

    Sadly, it’s a non starter Boris is a Europhile and loves them, using our money of course.

  36. 36
    Jimmy says:

    It’s 1995 again.

    Happy days.

  37. 37
    Selohesra says:

    I’d wager that Dave will get a standing ovation from conference

  38. 38

    You should have dropped sports and taken remedial English.

  39. 39
    jgm2 says:

    Does this mean Alistair Campbell is back and Murdoch is supporting Labour?

  40. 40
    The Anatomist says:

    They only want his head due to his lack of Balls.

    Bring on Boris, asap.

  41. 41
    8i11y 8owd3n says:

    I want GF’s head lol! ;)

  42. 42
    Alexsandr says:

    thats the problem. people have sussed they cant live on credit any more so are paying their credit cards off instead of buying plasma tellys. makes growth difficult unless you can really get exporting going.

  43. 43
    W.W. says:

    With the same problem, of no choice but a load of shite to replace him with.

    Though after 15 years of the parties boring us to death in their fight for the middle ground, it does seem they are both slowly returning to the left and to the right.


  44. 44

    No posh totty ever went with a compo kid.

    Sally Bercow is about the prettiest and poshest your team has.
    You can have her.

    Everyone else has.

  45. 45
    Nuke Brussels says:

    If you grab Cameron’s nose and pull hard, you’ll remove a latex mask beneath which is.. Snotty McMental.

    Of course, this answers the question, “where’s Brown?” but poses the new one, “what happened to Dave Cameron?”

  46. 46
    SP4BS says:


    I wonder if he’d fix the train system by getting his mates to recreate the intercity 125. Or perhaps the mallard.

  47. 47

    things can only get better

  48. 48

    You want your sausage up Nick Clegg?!!!!

  49. 49
    SP4BS says:

    “makes growth difficult” for the chinese?

  50. 50
    Jimmy says:

    That’s the spirit!

  51. 51
  52. 52
  53. 53
    jgm2 says:


    It’s only a ‘problem’ if the government can’t get it’s spending under control. Which is why we must cut and cut hard.

    If GDP ‘grows’ by (say) 20% but all that 20% is in the form of borrowed money to buy over-pr*iced housing then are we really any better off?

    Likewise if it ‘shrinks’ but we didn’t borrow another 180bn quid just to maintain the illusion of ‘growth’ are we really any worse off?

  54. 54
    Raving Loon says:

    11) Leave NATO, WTF, WTO
    12) Shut down Bank of England

  55. 55

    Not too many of the 1.3 billion living in China, as a percentage, have even seen a credit card, let alone run up a debt on one that needs paying off rather than buying a plasma screen TV!!

    The biggest Chinese “export” is their incredibly low labour costs.

  56. 56
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    You can be sure there are far more than 32 Toe-rags who are telling these 14, “Go for it, mates, we’re behind you all the way!”– when maybe they should say “We’re WAY behind you all…”, if the truth were known.

  57. 57
    Anonymous says:

    He calls himself Gordy Brown now and has an act as a magician in Las Vegas – just in case anybody cares where he disappeared to

  58. 58
    lastofthesummervintage says:

    F***k no, keep Cameron in place, it’s doing wonders for UKIP recruitment:-)

  59. 59
    jgm2 says:

    Still living in the past.

  60. 60 says:

    The conservative party should change its name to the European Conservative party of ex-Britain.

  61. 61 says:

    Sorry I meant the ex-Conservative party of ex-Great Britain.

  62. 62
    SP4BS says:

    We have credit cards.
    Chinese people make the TVs.

    We save.
    Chinese people don’t sell TVs.

  63. 63
    Appalled says:

    Nobody mentioned the Franco-German takeover of BAe yet. Well I will. It will of course delight Cameron and his Euro cronies since we will have no major defence company of our own left. And in a few years, the UK’s role in new developments will have been reduced to assembly only, crumbs from Our Master’s table.

  64. 64
    Money tree says:

    Boris eurosceptic?? i dont finkso

  65. 65
    Henk says:

    No posh totty ever went with a compo kid?

    Oh really Bill

  66. 66
    Money tree says:

    Glad I flogged all their shares a while back

  67. 67
    Ex-Tory says:

    The BBC have made a concerted effort today and yesterday to implicate Thatcher in the Hillsborough blame game. They have now concocted a bunch of lies with the help of Jack Straw – himself eager to hide his failure to act on the new evidence of Police corruption – to somehow connect the Miners Strike, Thatcher and the deaths of 96 people. Its all crap, but these c*nts at the BBC get away with it and they are helping to indoctrinate millions of listeners. We need to know how much Jack Straw knew and why he chose to ignore it. get digging.

  68. 68

    The biggest Chinese “export” is their incredibly low labour costs.

    Our biggest drag on exports are:
    1) Our high production costs
    2) Our high taxation.
    3) V.A.T.
    4) Bureaucratic red tape – home grown and EU.
    5) Low growth
    6) High debt

    This list is not exhaustive. Pleas feel free to add to it!

  69. 69 says:

    1995. When Gordon Brown made a Faustian pact with the bankers so they could do what they wanted in exchange for the banks buying all that government debt.

  70. 70
    Pesky Kids says:

    Hmmmmm……….. I believe Gordon Brown is a big fan of Scooby Doo.

  71. 71
    Deep Froat says:

    Camoron is the best PM Labour ever had. Now stop complaining and get back to work.

    Ever notice how each successive PM makes the last incumbent look fantastic. It’ takes some skill to make ‘mad Jock Mc Sporran the Haggis botherer’ look half way good but cod bless ‘im Camoron has managed it.

    I just wish one day we’d get a real Tory in number ten…someone like that nice Mr Farage you know a proper Tory. Not the ‘wetback lite’ crooked bastard version that the tory party currently is infested with.

  72. 72
    Spartacus says:

    contraception? just say yeo

  73. 73
    Deep Froat says:

    Object M’Lud. Sally Bercow is neither posh nor pretty. She’s pretty rank maybe thats the area of confusion.

    Ms Bercow is the Hilda Ogden of Wastemonster.
    I wouldn’t even with yours mate.

  74. 74
    Dingo says:

    Dear Bill

    That is what you want to believe.

    It is amazing what a Renualt 5 Turbo and some scrapdealer money could achieve in the late 1980’s

  75. 75
    Dingo says:

    LOL “went”

  76. 76
    Prince Rupert says:

    I couldn’t agree more. Linking Mrs T to Hiilsborough is grotesque, yet the BBC has run with it. This is not surprising as the BBC is Labour’s media arm, and with the license coming up for review one year after the next election, the BBC know that if the Tories win then they will be butchered, and quite rightly. The BBC has become the enemy of democracy in the UK, a twisted and biased organisation that simply cannot see how dishonest it has become. I’ve no doubt Harold Shipman was also the responsibility of Mrs T, as is obesity, and no doubt the Ripper, and that bloke killed in France.

    Jack Straw was always a totally dissembling windbag, very quick to cast blame around for his own failings, and I remember the fragrant BNP chap on Question time putting Straw in to his place over the jibe about his father being imprisoned for being a coward. A truly horrible little berk.

  77. 77
    jgm2 says:

    We need to know how much Jack Straw knew and why he chose to ignore it.

    He was weasel wording why his ‘enquiry’ failed to uncover any … errr… cover-up.

    It’s very simple. Because whoever they got to do the ‘enquiry’ was constrained by the amount of information the Labour government chose to make available to him. They (Labour) learned well the lesson of B*il*l Cli*nt*on. When an enquiry nominally about dodgy real estate deals found itself examining dresses that the women of Washington seem to keep in their freezer.

    Labour wasn’t having any enquiry rampaging all over the place uncovering Lord knows what. They wanted to limit the scope of what was examined and found.

    They pulled the same stunt with Hutton. And Butler. And every other ‘enquiry’ the instigated. And much as I might despise the judges and stool-pigeons they got to carry out the ‘enquiries’ everybody knew what was going on and everybody (media and opposition included) went along with it. Because (for the opposition) their day will come and they’re going to want to whitewash their own enquiries.

    As others have said – what is weird is that this has come out now – under a T*ry leader.

    While we’re opening the files – what’s with that Du*nb*l*ane enquiry. Why is that so fucking secret that we have to wait till everybody is dead and beyond prosecution?

  78. 78
    Anonymous says:

    He thought he was starring in Ocean’s 11.

  79. 79
    Anonymous says:

    Scabby dabby.

  80. 80
    Geoffrey G Brooking says:

    I don’t think aanyone can get anymore ignorant than Nick Clegg.

    When Handycock was undergoing heart surgery the Lib Dem Leader didn’t even send his MP a Get Well Card.

  81. 81

    At least when everyone’s dead, we’ll know where to find the bodies.

  82. 82

    …ṭіṭs оn а ṣcrеẉḋrіvеr?

    Whаt а ṭhоughṭ tо cоnjurе wіth! Bеіng ṣоmеẉhаṭ оf а hаnḋymаn, І hаvе dоnе sоmе ṣcrеẉіng іn my ṭіmе…

  83. 83
    Goldsmith says:

    “Get Boris into Goldsmith’s seat”

    That man’s insatiable. He can at least buy me dinner first.

  84. 84
    albacore says:

    What do we want an arms-maker for
    When there’ll never be another war?
    If Churchill had only bought Messerschmitts
    He would have thrilled the whole country to bits
    Think of all those saucepans we might have had
    Instead of churning out Spitfires like mad

  85. 85
    Backwoodsman says:

    Problem ! All very well and good, but BJ wants to let the Turks into the EU FFS !
    See the problems the Greeks are having, simply because Turkey waived visa requirements for sundry musbot countries – Athens is simply overrun with illegals.
    Its details like that which makes one despair of mainstream politicians.

  86. 86

    Oh right – just a UKIP spivvy crooked bastard with his misuse of EU expenses and his shoddy Jersey Educational Trust unanswered questions – your flavour of crook, you mean.

    Speaks well though – good stirring speeches. Sadly, yet another hollow man.

  87. 87
    Fish says:

    Sally?… it’s like snogging an ashtray

  88. 88

    Were you in the army at any time Schrödinger’s cat? I believe that the Womans Royal Army Corp are called “Wrac’s” because they are usually screwed to a wall, and wondered if you had first hand-yman knowledge…..?!

  89. 89
    Doherty's girlfriend says:

    Meanwhile the Dwarf’s missus is off with her Tinker boyfriend. They are enjoying lots of bull-shit. She had spuds and cabbage and says she got stuffed.

  90. 90

    Or as she is known in WildWestmunster – Echo Fanny…. fanny…. anny…. nny…. ny… y…

  91. 91

    No. Despite my antecedents mostly serving military careers, I was born just too late for national service. I had to find a different way to put something in on behalf of my country…

  92. 92

    Is this you, young James? I thought you lot were only ever on the fiddle, not the flute – although your Lord VolderMandy is quite partial to the pink flute, I believe:

  93. 93
    Truthteller says:

    Farage is best of a bad bunch, unless you can name a better candidate.

  94. 94
    Bill Wavestick says:

    Cameron is a Blasted Heathite.

  95. 95

    Christ, watch out – they’ve doubled their membership to 6!

  96. 96
    The Golem says:

    +1. They’re all such a craven lot.

  97. 97
    Club Clegg says:

    and cashier Cameron.

  98. 98
    the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

    is Thatcher that person who closed all the pits as we could get coal cheaper from Poland, thought that a nation of “service” industries was GREAT Britain’s future ? what a disaster she was.

  99. 99
  100. 100
    Mr Praline says:

    The Mallard is a dead duck.

  101. 101
    jgm2 says:

    Under Scargill we could get coal cheaper from the moon.

  102. 102

    That’s a bit like asking me to choose incurable testicular cancer over incurable prostate cancer…. neither of the above thanks.

    And if Crash Bandicoot is the answer, it has to be “Double Jeopardy” and the question must be:

    “If you could only vote for one political candidate who hates the EU yet is paid by them, has survived a plane crash and won’t answer questions about a Jersey-based Educational Trust, his name is???”

  103. 103
    The Golem says:

    He was pre-programmed before being parachuted in.

  104. 104
    the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

    “a mountain of coal floating on an ocean of oil surrounded by a sea full of fish” how could it go so wrong ?

  105. 105
    jgm2 says:

    Did you not see the TUC conference this year?

  106. 106
    the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

    the moon probably split of from the earth before the advent of trees so it probably has no coal but if you might think that the oil came from the planet/was a comet Venus then it’s possible that there might be oil which would be very interesting. Or you might think that the moon is an artificial construct as nothing surprises me any more.

  107. 107
    Public Sector says:

    Can all public sector workers do what?

  108. 108
    the savant says:

    Some would say even a ” Hampstead ” Heathite

  109. 109
    the savant says:

    “indeed you better get ready for the next wave of EU jobseekers from Turkey if Boris has his way”.

    My wordy boyo, and knowing Boris’ genealogical provenance … better be careful how you phrase that one in case the Politically Correct Service feel your collar on a possible racial harassment charge

  110. 110
    the savant says:

    Dave’ll be a busy boy then having to ” minister” to all 14 —

    P.S. would that be consequentially or simultaneously ?

  111. 111
    Haribo Halfwit says:

    You nave, you!

  112. 112
    the savant says:

    Wot —

    d’you mean he makes a photocopier dissapear up his own arse as opposed tp throwing it at the nearest hapless Downing St flunkey as was his wont when in office ??

  113. 113
    the savant says:

    Are you the same Henk who was once somebody at Barclays ??

  114. 114
    Some Twat up North says:

    Is he going then or not?

  115. 115
    Haribo Halfwit says:

    Were the deal to have been tried the other way around, Hollande would have pulled his national veto before the ink was dry from the laserjet.

    I’m guessing we’re still working on having one of our own, though the drafting has become lost in an interdepartmental minefield.

    God forbid that Vince Cable should show some backbone with preparations for Conference season taking up all his attention!

  116. 116
    Ho hum says:

    .. and RR have today proudly shown their new plant in Singapore to the future king of England. I wonder if there’ll be anything left to rule come the day. Or should that be left to rue?

  117. 117
    Stale Porridge says:

    Monika said she was going to vote Republican because the Democrats left a nasty taste in her mouth.

  118. 118
    David Laws Lib Dem Fiddler says:

    He is giving David Laws a second chance, as he did Coulson. presumably he wants Tory MPs to give him a third, fourth or fifth chance?? Game over, Europhile Dave is on his way. Borroso wants quicker union and treaty in place to make it happen, Dave will be relieved to leave early rather than make a decision in the national interest to leave the EU.

  119. 119
    Forkbender says:

    Things do not really change with the Tory party, sing their praises on their way up and when they waver (and Dave has certainly done a lot of that lately) and the attack dogs are out to do them in, it happened in the case of Thatcher and about 20 years earlier did it to Grocer Heath. Dave is the most acceptable of the leading Tories, look what went before Howard, Hague, IDS the quiet man There are a few others but they have form as far as voters are concerned, the Tory right wing have to think if we replace Dave, who would be acceptable to the British voter, no good getting a right winger in if their popularity with the average voter in marginal seats is zero.

  120. 120
    Baron Hogwash says:

    Tories don’t like being in power. If Boris was any good in parliament then why did he not stay there and become leader?

  121. 121
    make mine a large one says:

    Not enough shaggable totty.

  122. 122
    Forkbender says:

    Nay lad they dig their claws in and will be have to be dragged screaming

  123. 123
    Forkbender says:

    What Borus wants is a TURP operation

  124. 124
    Anonymous says:

    This reshuffle us utter rubbish, the Tories have blown any chance of getting re-elected after the blatant lie of the CAST IRON GAURENTEE for a referendum. As someone in my sixties I do not expect to see another Tory government in my lifetime. They will be in opposition for decades The UKIP vote will torpedo every Tory seat with a majority of 5000 or less and any Tory MP who holds such a seat should start to plan a new career outside of politics.
    Only a fantasist could believe in a Tory recovery outside of an immediate legally binding in/out referendum on EU membership. All this waffle about reclaiming powers after the next election is exactly that WAFFLE.
    Any changes would require the other 26 members to agree to them so forget it
    Plus we all know that the Tory party are 100% Europhiles. Conservatism is now totally finished and has lost both the trust and support of its core vote. Us real Conservatives have had enough of being ignored UKIP for me and as many as I can persuade likewise

  125. 125
    Anonymous says:

    Fuck Boris get Ferage in he wont piss about with bendy fucking busses he wil give all the scroungers the heave ho and fuck them off home. All the Toriesare useless spineless wankers

  126. 126
    Anonymous says:


    Now look at me, an ex MP who once had a majority
    I thought we were the ruling classes choosing to ignore the masses
    Disregard their point of view, no in/out vote on the EU
    Promising the unwashed shower, when were back in we’ll claw back power

    Alack alas that didn’t wash, they thought our promises were tosh
    Our vote took an enormous dip. It seems they all went for UKIP
    UKIP simply had us beat and I have lost my Commons seat
    At Cameron I am much annoyed, for now I’ve joined the unemployed

    We should perhaps at least reflected why it was we were elected
    Listened and took careful note of those who gave their trust and vote
    We were there at their behest, not to serve our own interest
    We’re there to serve, not dictate rules. THE VOTING BRITISH ARE NOT FOOLS

    This is not a poem its a prediction just you watch

  127. 127
    Anonymous says:

    Well it,s full of shit like the rest of him

  128. 128

    As i’ve said before Cameron will not see christmas in at No 10
    happy new year toss pot !

  129. 129
    Anonymous says:

    There are three wars yet to come the first of the three we are already embroiled in.

  130. 130
    Anonymous says:

    well democracy in the UK is an empty artificial construct.

  131. 131
    Archie says:

    You’re full of shit!

  132. 132
    Archie says:

    +several million, Anon!

  133. 133
    Forkbender says:

    I wonder if I used expletives it would pass moddy botty

  134. 134
    lojolondon says:

    Sell, Churchill was fat and he smoked. Vote for him every day of the week. Farage is a millionaire, he wouldn’t be fiddling the books. And the is the only one with the balls to tell the truth – EU, Climate change, the army, he is right on all counts.

  135. 135
    Use yer brains, UKIPers says:

    Of course voting UKIP simply helps Labour and entrenches socialist government in this country. Given that Labour is about as Eurosceptic as your average EU Commissioner, I’m assuming that would not be to your liking?

    For anyone who’s not a Leftie, voting UKIP is like holding a gun to your own head and blowing off your nose, just because you’re annoyed with Cameron. In other words, bloody idiotic.

  136. 136
    Geordieboy says:

    Farage: Speaks with conviction
    Cameron: All mouth ” No Action”

  137. 137
    Archie says:

    More, please.

  138. 138
    Archie says:

    We joined the EU!

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