September 13th, 2012

14 Tory MPs Want Dave’s Head


  1. 1
    Kebab Time says:

    Bring back Baroness Thatcher!!!!

    Oh and the only way is Essex >


    • 27
      Dave is not for the Grave. says:

      Guido. You know, I know, everyone knows that it ain’t going to happen. This is just pre party conference positioning Come the day of his speech Dave will make all the right noises.

      He has to drop the because he is a Tory he is a gayer meme though.


    • 28
      David Laws don't apply to benders says:

      His head? I want his arse!


      • 71
        Deep Froat says:

        Camoron is the best PM Labour ever had. Now stop complaining and get back to work.

        Ever notice how each successive PM makes the last incumbent look fantastic. It’ takes some skill to make ‘mad Jock Mc Sporran the Haggis botherer’ look half way good but cod bless ‘im Camoron has managed it.

        I just wish one day we’d get a real Tory in number ten…someone like that nice Mr Farage you know a proper Tory. Not the ‘wetback lite’ crooked bastard version that the tory party currently is infested with.


        • 86

          Oh right – just a UKIP spivvy crooked bastard with his misuse of EU expenses and his shoddy Jersey Educational Trust unanswered questions – your flavour of crook, you mean.

          Speaks well though – good stirring speeches. Sadly, yet another hollow man.


          • Truthteller says:

            Farage is best of a bad bunch, unless you can name a better candidate.


          • That’s a bit like asking me to choose incurable testicular cancer over incurable prostate cancer…. neither of the above thanks.

            And if Crash Bandicoot is the answer, it has to be “Double Jeopardy” and the question must be:

            “If you could only vote for one political candidate who hates the EU yet is paid by them, has survived a plane crash and won’t answer questions about a Jersey-based Educational Trust, his name is???”


          • Archie says:

            You’re full of shit!


          • lojolondon says:

            Sell, Churchill was fat and he smoked. Vote for him every day of the week. Farage is a millionaire, he wouldn’t be fiddling the books. And the is the only one with the balls to tell the truth – EU, Climate change, the army, he is right on all counts.


      • 127
        Anonymous says:

        Well it,s full of shit like the rest of him


    • 124
      Anonymous says:

      This reshuffle us utter rubbish, the Tories have blown any chance of getting re-elected after the blatant lie of the CAST IRON GAURENTEE for a referendum. As someone in my sixties I do not expect to see another Tory government in my lifetime. They will be in opposition for decades The UKIP vote will torpedo every Tory seat with a majority of 5000 or less and any Tory MP who holds such a seat should start to plan a new career outside of politics.
      Only a fantasist could believe in a Tory recovery outside of an immediate legally binding in/out referendum on EU membership. All this waffle about reclaiming powers after the next election is exactly that WAFFLE.
      Any changes would require the other 26 members to agree to them so forget it
      Plus we all know that the Tory party are 100% Europhiles. Conservatism is now totally finished and has lost both the trust and support of its core vote. Us real Conservatives have had enough of being ignored UKIP for me and as many as I can persuade likewise


      • 132
        Archie says:

        +several million, Anon!


      • 135
        Use yer brains, UKIPers says:

        Of course voting UKIP simply helps Labour and entrenches socialist government in this country. Given that Labour is about as Eurosceptic as your average EU Commissioner, I’m assuming that would not be to your liking?

        For anyone who’s not a Leftie, voting UKIP is like holding a gun to your own head and blowing off your nose, just because you’re annoyed with Cameron. In other words, bloody idiotic.


    • 126
      Anonymous says:

      2015 THE TORY LAMENT

      Now look at me, an ex MP who once had a majority
      I thought we were the ruling classes choosing to ignore the masses
      Disregard their point of view, no in/out vote on the EU
      Promising the unwashed shower, when were back in we’ll claw back power

      Alack alas that didn’t wash, they thought our promises were tosh
      Our vote took an enormous dip. It seems they all went for UKIP
      UKIP simply had us beat and I have lost my Commons seat
      At Cameron I am much annoyed, for now I’ve joined the unemployed

      We should perhaps at least reflected why it was we were elected
      Listened and took careful note of those who gave their trust and vote
      We were there at their behest, not to serve our own interest
      We’re there to serve, not dictate rules. THE VOTING BRITISH ARE NOT FOOLS

      This is not a poem its a prediction just you watch


  2. 2
    markreckons says:

    But does Guido know of another 31?!

    That’s the problem.

    It’s Brown all over again.


    • 43
      W.W. says:

      With the same problem, of no choice but a load of shite to replace him with.

      Though after 15 years of the parties boring us to death in their fight for the middle ground, it does seem they are both slowly returning to the left and to the right.



  3. 3
    Mr Ed says:

    Seven-a-side footie, anyone ?


  4. 4
    National Socialist says:

    Let’s have a General Election. Then we’d know where we stand.


    • 19
      nellnewman says:

      Unless we then end up with a lib/lab coalition. That would be called jumping out of the frying pan into the fire!


    • 89
      Doherty's girlfriend says:

      Meanwhile the Dwarf’s missus is off with her Tinker boyfriend. They are enjoying lots of bull-shit. She had spuds and cabbage and says she got stuffed.


  5. 5
    Gordon Brown says:

    My vote is for sausage and egg


  6. 6
    National Socialist says:

    Anyway won’t they wait until the conference is over before dumping him?


  7. 8
    Steve Miliband says:

    Dump Clegg


  8. 9
    Richard says:

    Dave would be better serving Pimms to young female graduates at Cameron & Co PR Agency.

    Cameron is not a mouse, he is a posh boy who does not know what to do


  9. 10
    DaveyC says:

    10 steps to a better Britain in the next 12 months:

    1) Get Boris into Goldsmith’s seat
    2) Get the 46 sigs
    3) Ditch Dave
    4) Install Bojo
    5) Call Election
    6) Consign Clegg to history
    7) Exit EU
    8) Slash taxes.
    9) Can 50% of all public sector workers
    10) Get on with our fucking lives.


    • 12
      jgm2 says:

      I’d vote for that.


    • 16
      TC says:

      Spot on DaveyC.


    • 21
      EdMiliband says:

      6 Ed Miliband forms Coalition with Vincent
      7 Spending increases
      8 Pay EU more
      9 Create 1 million jobs in public sector
      10 Increase taxes
      11 Tax Bankers
      12 Tax Wealth
      13 Appoint Tony Blair as EU commissioner
      14 Lord Gordon Brown head of IMF
      15 PFI
      16 Raid Pensions
      17 Print more money


      • 26
        jgm2 says:

        That is indeed the risk. Which is why it won’t happen. We have to hope that, somehow, the economy starts to improve (although if it looks like doing so I expect the unions to step in with a few strikes to keep GDP under control).

        There’s still three years of ‘natural wastage’ from the public sector which should see another 600,000 (at least) of ‘em off the tax-payer’s teat so the deficit should be improving all the time.

        That and the true horror of Nasal Ned on TV for four weeks whining his way through his speeches and trying to look statesmanlike might yet do the job. It had better. I’m counting on the two Neds being Cameron’s greatest asset.


        • 29
          Steve Miliband says:

          Just need some confidence.

          Oh and the trillions of private debt to be written off.


          • Alexsandr says:

            thats the problem. people have sussed they cant live on credit any more so are paying their credit cards off instead of buying plasma tellys. makes growth difficult unless you can really get exporting going.


          • SP4BS says:

            “makes growth difficult” for the chinese?


          • jgm2 says:


            It’s only a ‘problem’ if the government can’t get it’s spending under control. Which is why we must cut and cut hard.

            If GDP ‘grows’ by (say) 20% but all that 20% is in the form of borrowed money to buy over-pr*iced housing then are we really any better off?

            Likewise if it ‘shrinks’ but we didn’t borrow another 180bn quid just to maintain the illusion of ‘growth’ are we really any worse off?


          • Not too many of the 1.3 billion living in China, as a percentage, have even seen a credit card, let alone run up a debt on one that needs paying off rather than buying a plasma screen TV!!

            The biggest Chinese “export” is their incredibly low labour costs.


          • SP4BS says:

            We have credit cards.
            Chinese people make the TVs.

            We save.
            Chinese people don’t sell TVs.


          • The biggest Chinese “export” is their incredibly low labour costs.

            Our biggest drag on exports are:
            1) Our high production costs
            2) Our high taxation.
            3) V.A.T.
            4) Bureaucratic red tape – home grown and EU.
            5) Low growth
            6) High debt

            This list is not exhaustive. Pleas feel free to add to it!


    • 35
      Stones moved, we think we've found the smell says:

      Sadly, it’s a non starter Boris is a Europhile and loves them, using our money of course.


    • 46
      SP4BS says:


      I wonder if he’d fix the train system by getting his mates to recreate the intercity 125. Or perhaps the mallard.


    • 54
      Raving Loon says:

      11) Leave NATO, WTF, WTO
      12) Shut down Bank of England


    • 83
      Goldsmith says:

      “Get Boris into Goldsmith’s seat”

      That man’s insatiable. He can at least buy me dinner first.


    • 85
      Backwoodsman says:

      Problem ! All very well and good, but BJ wants to let the Turks into the EU FFS !
      See the problems the Greeks are having, simply because Turkey waived visa requirements for sundry musbot countries – Athens is simply overrun with illegals.
      Its details like that which makes one despair of mainstream politicians.


    • 107
      Public Sector says:

      Can all public sector workers do what?


    • 125
      Anonymous says:

      Fuck Boris get Ferage in he wont piss about with bendy fucking busses he wil give all the scroungers the heave ho and fuck them off home. All the Toriesare useless spineless wankers


  10. 11
    The Hand That Rocks The Cradle says:

    Just 32 more and we can be rid of the misery of continuity Brown……

    …… come on MP’s you can do it.

    P.S. Not you Yeo – you can rot in hell.


  11. 14
    nellnewman says:

    14? Is that all? What happened to the 90 or so who rebelled over that eu vote? They need to be getting a backbone!


  12. 18


    If they want a fifteenth they have only to offer the usual quango appointments and select committee jollys and my goes on the list.


  13. 20
    A poor choice of words says:

    “14 Tory MPs Want Dave’s Head”



    • 110
      the savant says:

      Dave’ll be a busy boy then having to ” minister” to all 14 —

      P.S. would that be consequentially or simultaneously ?


  14. 22
    Richard says:

    I always wondered what it would have been like if Gordon Brown had remained in office – we now know


    • 45
      Nuke Brussels says:

      If you grab Cameron’s nose and pull hard, you’ll remove a latex mask beneath which is.. Snotty McMental.

      Of course, this answers the question, “where’s Brown?” but poses the new one, “what happened to Dave Cameron?”


  15. 24
    Henk says:

    If there are any of Cameron’s boys reading this, your team is going down just like when the Comprehensive boys kicked you’re asses and stole your girlfriends when at school.

    Being posh is not enough


  16. 36
    Jimmy says:

    It’s 1995 again.

    Happy days.


  17. 40
    The Anatomist says:

    They only want his head due to his lack of Balls.

    Bring on Boris, asap.


  18. 41
    8i11y 8owd3n says:

    I want GF’s head lol! ;)


  19. 56
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    You can be sure there are far more than 32 Toe-rags who are telling these 14, “Go for it, mates, we’re behind you all the way!”– when maybe they should say “We’re WAY behind you all…”, if the truth were known.


  20. 58
    lastofthesummervintage says:

    F***k no, keep Cameron in place, it’s doing wonders for UKIP recruitment:-)


  21. 63
    Appalled says:

    Nobody mentioned the Franco-German takeover of BAe yet. Well I will. It will of course delight Cameron and his Euro cronies since we will have no major defence company of our own left. And in a few years, the UK’s role in new developments will have been reduced to assembly only, crumbs from Our Master’s table.


    • 65
      Money tree says:

      Glad I flogged all their shares a while back


    • 84
      albacore says:

      What do we want an arms-maker for
      When there’ll never be another war?
      If Churchill had only bought Messerschmitts
      He would have thrilled the whole country to bits
      Think of all those saucepans we might have had
      Instead of churning out Spitfires like mad


      • 115
        Haribo Halfwit says:

        Were the deal to have been tried the other way around, Hollande would have pulled his national veto before the ink was dry from the laserjet.

        I’m guessing we’re still working on having one of our own, though the drafting has become lost in an interdepartmental minefield.

        God forbid that Vince Cable should show some backbone with preparations for Conference season taking up all his attention!


      • 129
        Anonymous says:

        There are three wars yet to come the first of the three we are already embroiled in.


    • 116
      Ho hum says:

      .. and RR have today proudly shown their new plant in Singapore to the future king of England. I wonder if there’ll be anything left to rule come the day. Or should that be left to rue?


  22. 67
    Ex-Tory says:

    The BBC have made a concerted effort today and yesterday to implicate Thatcher in the Hillsborough blame game. They have now concocted a bunch of lies with the help of Jack Straw – himself eager to hide his failure to act on the new evidence of Police corruption – to somehow connect the Miners Strike, Thatcher and the deaths of 96 people. Its all crap, but these c*nts at the BBC get away with it and they are helping to indoctrinate millions of listeners. We need to know how much Jack Straw knew and why he chose to ignore it. get digging.


    • 76
      Prince Rupert says:

      I couldn’t agree more. Linking Mrs T to Hiilsborough is grotesque, yet the BBC has run with it. This is not surprising as the BBC is Labour’s media arm, and with the license coming up for review one year after the next election, the BBC know that if the Tories win then they will be butchered, and quite rightly. The BBC has become the enemy of democracy in the UK, a twisted and biased organisation that simply cannot see how dishonest it has become. I’ve no doubt Harold Shipman was also the responsibility of Mrs T, as is obesity, and no doubt the Ripper, and that bloke killed in France.

      Jack Straw was always a totally dissembling windbag, very quick to cast blame around for his own failings, and I remember the fragrant BNP chap on Question time putting Straw in to his place over the jibe about his father being imprisoned for being a coward. A truly horrible little berk.


    • 77
      jgm2 says:

      We need to know how much Jack Straw knew and why he chose to ignore it.

      He was weasel wording why his ‘enquiry’ failed to uncover any … errr… cover-up.

      It’s very simple. Because whoever they got to do the ‘enquiry’ was constrained by the amount of information the Labour government chose to make available to him. They (Labour) learned well the lesson of B*il*l Cli*nt*on. When an enquiry nominally about dodgy real estate deals found itself examining dresses that the women of Washington seem to keep in their freezer.

      Labour wasn’t having any enquiry rampaging all over the place uncovering Lord knows what. They wanted to limit the scope of what was examined and found.

      They pulled the same stunt with Hutton. And Butler. And every other ‘enquiry’ the instigated. And much as I might despise the judges and stool-pigeons they got to carry out the ‘enquiries’ everybody knew what was going on and everybody (media and opposition included) went along with it. Because (for the opposition) their day will come and they’re going to want to whitewash their own enquiries.

      As others have said – what is weird is that this has come out now – under a T*ry leader.

      While we’re opening the files – what’s with that Du*nb*l*ane enquiry. Why is that so fucking secret that we have to wait till everybody is dead and beyond prosecution?


  23. 70
    Pesky Kids says:

    Hmmmmm……….. I believe Gordon Brown is a big fan of Scooby Doo.


  24. 80
    Geoffrey G Brooking says:

    I don’t think aanyone can get anymore ignorant than Nick Clegg.

    When Handycock was undergoing heart surgery the Lib Dem Leader didn’t even send his MP a Get Well Card.


  25. 98
    the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

    is Thatcher that person who closed all the pits as we could get coal cheaper from Poland, thought that a nation of “service” industries was GREAT Britain’s future ? what a disaster she was.


    • 101
      jgm2 says:

      Under Scargill we could get coal cheaper from the moon.


      • 104
        the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

        “a mountain of coal floating on an ocean of oil surrounded by a sea full of fish” how could it go so wrong ?


        • 105
          jgm2 says:

          Did you not see the TUC conference this year?


        • 106
          the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

          the moon probably split of from the earth before the advent of trees so it probably has no coal but if you might think that the oil came from the planet/was a comet Venus then it’s possible that there might be oil which would be very interesting. Or you might think that the moon is an artificial construct as nothing surprises me any more.


        • 138
          Archie says:

          We joined the EU!


  26. 114
    Some Twat up North says:

    Is he going then or not?


  27. 119
    Forkbender says:

    Things do not really change with the Tory party, sing their praises on their way up and when they waver (and Dave has certainly done a lot of that lately) and the attack dogs are out to do them in, it happened in the case of Thatcher and about 20 years earlier did it to Grocer Heath. Dave is the most acceptable of the leading Tories, look what went before Howard, Hague, IDS the quiet man There are a few others but they have form as far as voters are concerned, the Tory right wing have to think if we replace Dave, who would be acceptable to the British voter, no good getting a right winger in if their popularity with the average voter in marginal seats is zero.


  28. 120
    Baron Hogwash says:

    Tories don’t like being in power. If Boris was any good in parliament then why did he not stay there and become leader?


  29. 128

    As i’ve said before Cameron will not see christmas in at No 10
    happy new year toss pot !


  30. 136
    Geordieboy says:

    Farage: Speaks with conviction
    Cameron: All mouth ” No Action”


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