September 12th, 2012

Chuka Takes Cash From Casino Capitalist Tycoons to Party

Two-faced Chuka Umunna is forever banging on about the need for “responsible capitalism”. Chuka might be keen to bash the bankers in public, yet the latest update to the Register of Members’ Interests shows that the Streatham MP pocketed a generous donation of £6,030 from a financial services company to sponsor his summer party in July:

Realtime Analysis and News are better known to day traders and other running dogs of casino capitalism as RANsquawk, an extremely profitable online service set-up by City whizz-kids providing tips and rumours to traders. They promise to provide “rumours that may move the market”. Responsible capitalism in action.

As impressive a service as this sounds to Guido, it does seem like the sort of thing Chuka had in mind when he was attacking the City’s “casino culture”. With Chuka he has the trick of saying one thing to one audience and something very different to another when their backs are turned…


  1. 1
    Up Chukka says:

    Wow. A bent labour MP. Who would have thought?

  2. 2
    Labour Party says:

    This is our moral compass. Say one thing,do another. It’s how we got where we are today.

  3. 3
    Socialists = Sociopaths says:

    Hypocrisy and Mendacity. It’s in Libor’s D-N-A.

  4. 4
    Anonymous says:

    Quite possibly – maybe he know a relative of yours and wants to give you $49,000,000 because HE TRUSTS YOU ETC…………………

  5. 5
    T.B£iar - the People's Messiah says:

    Attaboy !!!

  6. 6
  7. 7
    Anonymous says:

    How did the company give a receipt before it was registered?

  8. 8
    Hammond Organ says:

    Go on Chuka fill your boots you greedy bastard

  9. 9
    Chukkus Yamoney says:

    You have won 10 billion pounds in a lottery. Please send your bank account details so we can pay you.

  10. 10 says:

    Whole generations will dance on the graves of trades unions.

  11. 11
    Trouble on the Estate says:

    Watched Trouble on the Estate last night, a Panorama special on bbc1 about an estate in Blackburn blighted by unemployment and antisocial behaviour. It made for fascinating and also sad viewing. Fascinating in that some of the families who were complaining about their situation had things like 50inch flat screen televisions. One mother whose son was suspended for hitting a teacher was asked by the interviewer if she punished him. She said “No, he’s already been punished by being suspended by the school, what’s the point in me saying you can’t play XBox?” Failure to punish his violence was gobsmacking enough but was then replaced by astonishment at her casual reference to owning an XBox.

    This mother later complained about being called to the job centre. She said, and I quote, “I’ve got better things to do than look for a job”. When asked what her reaction would be if asked to take a job, she said “I’d say you’re kidding, aren’t you?” She said she can’t work because she takes anti-depressants at night which make her sleepy.

    My sympathy was for the victims of the antisocial behaviour. A man with learning disabilities who has to endure local teenagers throwing things at his window and calling him fat. A woman whose garden is used by teenagers as a toilet. I had no sympathy for the families who have feral children, own big screen televisions and game consoles and refuse to work because they’re lazy. If the bbc’s intention was to garner sympathy for them, job failed.

  12. 12
    S.B.S. says:

    He tried,

    Chuka, Chuka, Chuka, Chuka Da moneee in Da Car.

  13. 13
    Andrew Efiong says:

    Well done Guido, you’ve flushed him out and got him on the run now. He’s got some explaining to do!

    Just imagine it, a Labour MP taking money from a company that spreads rumours to City traders?

  14. 14
    Chuka says:

    I love other peoples munnny

  15. 15
    Captain Haddock says:

    High time Chucker was smoked out.

  16. 16
    SP4BS says:

    “rumours that may move the market”.

    Oddly: if the rumours are not accurate, that is fine. If they are accurate, it sounds a lot like inside trading.

  17. 17
    Bollocks Broadcasting Corporation says:

    We think the programme succeeded in its objective of showing how lives have been blighted by the evil Tories.

  18. 18
    jgm2 says:

    The T*ry party couldn’t have made a better Party Political Broadcast if they’d tried. I only caught about five minutes of it but the bit I saw was of some fat slug of a woman sitting in a corner with a huge stereo speaker perched next to her ear, puffing away on a cigarette, clutching what was either an ashtray or a whiskey tumbler (couldn’t see how deep it was) going on about how she had no hope in her life. Looked about 40 years old. Dressed like a bag lady.

    Then there was a clip of some man who may (or may not) have been the father of one or more of her children (one of which she couldn’t control at all – punch the little fucker in the nose a couple of times – he’ll get the picture) who was planning to leave the shithole and try and make a start elsewhere but the missus/girlfriend/slug didn’t want to move and so the family might get split up and so on and so forth…

    And, I have no doubt, the same c*unts will be voting Labour (for the last eighty years) and whining about all the foreigners ‘coming over here, taking their jobs.

  19. 19
    SP4BS says:

    I made it to prove that Scousers aren’t the only idiots in England.

  20. 20
    SP4BS says:

    I watched the scottish bloke who likes the seaside. I know what blackburn looks like, and the prog looked predictably depressing.

  21. 21
    Ransquawk CEO says:

    Thank you so much for the publicity,Guido.

    As ever the cheque made payable to your offfshore bank is in the post.

  22. 22

    Oh dear. Own goal, I fear Guido!

    …he has the trick of saying one thing to one audience and something very different to another.

    Absolutely perfect definition of a politician…?

  23. 23
    Durr... says:

    I wonder where Harry Enfield gets his material from.

  24. 24
    no such client says:

    not the right day to be saying that

  25. 25
    Privatise the BBC says:


    Nice to hear Andy Burnham say that the decision to release information on Hillsborough has come 23 years too late.
    For those that don’t remember, Burnham was the Secretary of State for culture, media and sport that rejected the request when in office.

    Don’t you just love both faces of the left?

  26. 26
    SP4BS says:

    Its always a good day to have a go at scousers.

    Have you noticed the chief spokesman for them is actually a Manc?

  27. 27
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Blackburn last elected a Tory in 1931.

  28. 28
    no such client says:

    I do wonder how many of these guys have security services connections

  29. 29

    He had to concentrate on putting his makeup on at the time so understandable…

  30. 30
    Trouble on the Estate says:

    She was probably 20 but just looked in her 40s, like most residents there.

  31. 31
    Dibble says:

    Maybe thats where Wayne & Waynetta Slob came from.

  32. 32
    no such client says:


  33. 33
    @ontablets says:

    Whatever next ?

    Mad Frankie Maude receiving presents from UNITE,the union?

  34. 34
    Dibble says:

    I saw him on the telly the other night and thought he had had a facelift. Certainly less eye make up.

  35. 35
    Polly Twaddle says:

    It’s the fault of the state, not these put upon poor souls!

  36. 36
    Fees Office Clerk says:

    Chuka Khan Chaka Khan Chaka K.unt

  37. 37

    I see That last bastion of Britishness Rolls Royce have shown their commitment
    and faith in British workers

    By opening their new engine plant in……………..Singapore!

    Last time i buy one of their shitty old banger then !

  38. 38
    SP4BS says:

    Is that a lancastrian accent that Waynetta has?

  39. 39
    PhilO'TheWisp says:

    Well done Chuckup. You win your place on the hypocrites sofa next to Andrew Marr.

  40. 40

    It is easier to find a cathedral in Mecca than a restaurant which serves wine with your meal in Blackburn. I tried it once.

  41. 41
    Balls and Brown fiscal comedy act says:

    Bankrupting the country in order to borrow the money required to continue paying these people’s benefits is a price worth paying for lifting them out of poverty. These people need their benefits. More importantly, the Labour Party needs their votes. In any event, with the BBC’s help, we can simply blame the resulting economic mess on Thatcher.

  42. 42
    SP4BS says:

    puzzled. … thinks …. … well yes, if you’re posh and live in blackburn, you go out to eat in a pub.

  43. 43
    jgm2 says:

    There was also a piece on Newsnight (I think it was Newsnigyt -Paxman was presenting) about the ‘misselling’ that had occurred to various Italian Municipalities of weird derivatives by the City of London. Which had the superficial feel of just another go at the bankers, who, as we’re constantly told, destroyed Labour’s miracle economy.

    But what the program actually revealed was that the whistleblowers from these various banks who approached the FSA (after being fired and paid off by these various banks when they raised any concerns about this ‘misselling’) were told in no uncertain terms that they (the FSA) were not interested, not to be bothering them again and they would most certainly not be pursuing their allegations. Which has, via the FSA, left the UK taxpayer potentially on the hook for failure of oversight.

    The suggestion was that the FSA was ‘too close’ to the banks. Yeah. Right. A Labour government created quango was ‘too close to the banks’. Would this be the same Labour government that, when a whistleblower was revealing embarrassing facts to an opposition MP had the MP and whistleblower arrested on spurious national security grounds?

    If the FSA was wilfully turning a blind eye to this kind of sh*it where do you really think the order was coming from? The banks ‘cosy’ relationship? Really? Is it not far more credible that the bunch who created the quango and staffed it and appointed its bosses in the first place was calling the shots?

    This ‘miracle’ economy was wilfully perched on a fucking mountain of debt. Every and all mechanisms were employed by the Maximum Imbecile to keep the illusion of prosperity going for as long as possible in the hope that he’d get his term as PM just as Tony had ‘promised’ him and that, after two terms they would lose the election and dump the inevitable clusterfuck onto the conservatives. The only justice was that Tony reneged on whatever deal the Imbecile thought he had, they ‘won’ a third term and the Maximum Imbecile had to sit there while his carefully constructed Ponzi economy crashed around him.

  44. 44
    Lefties are liars says:

    It’s like Balls saying yesterday that he’d have to continue public sector pay freezes because Osborne’s ruined the economy over the past 2 years…..despite the fact that public sector salary freezes began when Labour was still in power.

    Lying cnuts. But them you can’t blame them, really – the Tories won’t do anything to point any of this out.

  45. 45
    Disliker of Bankers says:

    The FSA have been totally bloody useless for years.

  46. 46
    Unbiased observer says:

    I thought that were going to lynch the bugger. I gave up listening to the twat years ago.

  47. 47
    The Arkansaw Chuka-bug says:

    Wacky races to the cash prize of complete hypocrisy

  48. 48
    EdButLookBalls says:


  49. 49
    Thick as a Planck says:


    A BULGARIAN family of nine who targeted Britain’s soft welfare system have been given a council house just three weeks after arriving here.

  50. 50
    Alf Garnett's Brother says:

    Are you sure they can managed to put on “X” on a ballot paper

  51. 51

    When I return to England, I usually make up for my Indian food deficiency, one of the very few real trials of being expat. There are a number of these in Blackburn. None of them, however, serves wine or even allows you to bring your own.

    As for the words posh and Blackburn, I am inclined to think they must be mutually exclusive.

  52. 52
    Alf Garnett's Brother says:

    Baron Lardarse Prescott proved that conclusively soem years ago

  53. 53
    Macks By Graves says:

    That’s a breach of your human rights

  54. 54
    Forkbender says:

    I don’t know about that, but I wish he would chuka some money in my direction

  55. 55
    Forkbender says:


  56. 56
    Forkbender says:

    They are all bent, they wouldn’t be MPs if they weren’t, the trick is to find out who are the worst offenders.

  57. 57
    SP4BS says:

    I’m slightly surprised. in all my visits to Indian restaurants in the UK, I’ve only come across one that doesn’t sell beer. (perhaps thats where you’re going wrong!).

    Blackburn, like many grim towns with an industrial past, certainly did have all sorts of “posh” bits that were genuinely wealthy when all the factories were still going. But of course, anyone who’s an accountant etc. will live more than 5 miles from the middle of Blackburn in the rural bits, which have other names.

  58. 58
    Forkbender says:

    What happens when your moral compass is directly over ther North Pole

  59. 59
    Forkbender says:

    Takes one to know one Tone

  60. 60
    keredybretsa says:

    New T-Shirt for ‘Chuka Fhuka’. Brilliant another do as I say not what I do dishonourable.

  61. 61
    SP4BS says:

    PS: expecting wine ? WINE? if human rights were decided in britain it wouldng be WINE

    You’ll be expecting an avacado next.

  62. 62
    Forkbender says:

    Chuka some money in my direction

  63. 63
    Forkbender says:

    No send me details of your bank account and leave the rest to me

  64. 64
    jgm2 says:

    But it is the fault of the state. The government – but more particularly – the Labour party needs to tell these fuckers a few home truths. Instead of just paying ‘em to live in misery and squalor entirely of their own making and making political capital when ‘the other lot’ attempts to tell ‘em.

    But no. Instead we have ‘Surestart’ an insanely expensive cradle-to-grave attempt to educate these thick c*unts without them realising it. Rather than spell out to them that the reason they are stuck there in the shit is because they don’t have any education. And the reason they don’t have any education is because they don’t fucking well try to get one. Idiot generation after idiot generation pulling each other down. Mocking anybody who tries to ‘better’ themselves as a ‘swot’ or a ‘class traitor’ or ‘are we not good enough for you…?’

    Generation after generation of immigrants coming to the UK, working hard for a generation and watching their kids become doctors and dentists and lawyers and engineers because immigrants understand the power of education and value education. Yet these home-grown utter fuckwits corralled into these shitty estates with the promise of ‘free’ housing in perpetuity and told (by Labour) that their economic situation is entirely due to the wicked T*ries holding ‘em back.

  65. 65
    Doctor Whom says:

    It’s just a timey-wimey thing. Don’t worry about it.

  66. 66
    jgm2 says:

    Fair play to Balls in one respect. He wasn’t promising ‘em any payrises any time soon either. Disingenuous in the extreme to blame the fact that there’s no money for payrises on this government when their own Liam Byrne mocked the T*ries with a ‘There’s no money left’ note.

    But still, he at least told ‘em that… ‘There’s no money left’. ‘Jobs before payrises.’ A soundbite the fuckers would do well to get into their thick skulls.

  67. 67
    fendel says:

    What a disingenuous damnfool this boy is.

    To Principal Dennis Skinner’s office now for a good hiding!

  68. 68
    Forkbender says:

    No they probably were too idle to register to vote, or so they wouldn’t appear on the register

  69. 69
    stroppycow says:

    Come one come all – it was ever thus.

  70. 70
    Gudness Gray Shusme says:

    Quite right Polly, those rich Venky’s shouod provide free tickets to the match every other Saturday plus free chicken dinners all round every Thursday night after the darts match down the local.

  71. 71
    Forkbender says:

    I love your money, gi’s a few million

  72. 72
    Gudness Gray Shusme says:

    I put an apostrophe in my comment by error and my pearls of wisdom have gone into the sin bin. Grievous apologies all round.

  73. 73
    Forkbender says:

    Do you think if Frankie babes was given money by say Unite he would return it?

  74. 74
  75. 75
    Tony Blair, Millionaire says:

    A mere amateur in my view, guys…………

    New Labour, New Money

  76. 76
    Firm But Fair says:

    It’s why benefits should be limited for a period of time. If you don’t look for work, you lose your money. Otherwise we’re paying for people to sit at home and waste away.

    Also all these people complained about not making ends meet but they buy readymeals in bulk and seem to live in houses equipped with giant TVs and other non-essentials.

  77. 77
    sometimes candidate says:

    You don’t need to put an X on a ballot paper any more, so long as there is a definitive mark indicating a certain candidate that is accepted. I saw a ballot paper where the voter put “I fucking hate Labour” along the top then put an X in the box for the Labour candidate. Result a vote for Labour! (The labour candidate had a big winning margin). would have loved it to have been a tied result!

  78. 78
    Gonk says:

    Has managed to make the transition from ham actor to accomplished fraud and
    hypocrite. Has nearly reached the next stage that Blair effortlessly attained.
    That of being a supreme liar.

  79. 79

    Couldn’t agree more – the sainted T. Pratchett refers to it as “crab bucket mentality” – if a crab tries to climb out of the bucket, the others will pull it back in.

    The fuc.king state has SUPPLIED the bucket, damn it!

  80. 80
    simon r says:

    fuck off and stop wallowing in grief

  81. 81
    no such client says:

    I am not grief stricken as I don’t know anybody who was there but I did see on the telly police pushing people back into the crush

  82. 82

    Roll Over Beethoven
    And tell my bank manager the news! .♩.¸¸♬´¯`♬.¸¸¤


    .♩.¸¸♬´¯`♬.¸¸¤ Sweet little 6 grand!.♩.¸¸♬´¯`♬.¸¸¤

  83. 83

    I have managed to get to my age and still be able to see my penis when I stand up. Most people who drink beer for decades cannot do this. Each to their own.

  84. 84
    Anonymous says:

    Do you think they would get off their big fat backsides to vote? Do they know or even care who Ed Millipede or Ed Ballsup are? They can’t even speak English so I don’t think they can even read or write. Let’s just give them even more money to make life better for them.

  85. 85
    Harbottle says:

    Umbongo was taken apart by Jeff Randall on his show last night-talking about university access, the priveleged etc. When Randall listed the universities the Labour front bench had attended he tried to play the race card and ended up looking a complete dick!

  86. 86
    Fish says:

    Fucking fucking fucking effin’ hypocrite. It was Burnham that denied the people of Stafford a public inquiry into the Stafford District General Hospital Death Camp. The c.unt wasn’t interested in justice for the 1,200 there.

    Fucking hypocrite.

    Mad Nadine needs to level her sights on this bastard

  87. 87
    M says:

    if you place a compass near an electric currant you get a distorted reading of direction of north .
    When you place a socialist compass near a financial currant you get a true reading of direction of intrest .

    Trust , They’ll go for the money trap if one is placed under their noses

  88. 88
    magic tony says:

    aaah! the happy days when i was the fonz!

  89. 89
    The Central Scrutinizer says:

    I disagree. I do believe that there are a few MP’s with integrity who say what they think. However, these people are only ever allowed to exist on the fringes (and backbenches) of the political party. Those that rise to the top (as young Chuck-up is doing right now) are more than happy to lie and decieve. Their mentors positively encourage it!

    They lie to us, their partners, their colleagues – and to themselves. It’s all about them….

  90. 90
    Faintly Surprised says:

    The man will obviously go far. All successful politicians need to be extremely duplicitous and able to face more than one way at any time. It is for precisely this reason that senior people from the services and the business world tend not to succeed in politics – they tend to find it harder to be two faced than those who have risen through the ranks of spads and, ahem, the law.

  91. 91
    The Central Scrutinizer says:

    And I believe they are even touting the idea of having that ar*e Adair Turner as Governor of the BoE…..

    Truth is stranger than fiction….

  92. 92
    Piss pot says:

    Typical Labour politician. Lying barstewards each & every one of them.

  93. 93
    Andy Coulson's monkey says:

    Yet another weak story from Wiki Guido. MP takes money from people he disagrees with. More fool the casino capitalists.

    Note to Guido: Wiki Guido is very much the weak link in your reporting. I don’t think I’ve ever seen any piece by him that is actually worthwhile.

  94. 94
    Living in 98 percent white Merseyside says:

    Manc? I hope that’s not cockney rhyming slang!

  95. 95
    S.B.S. says:

    Thought I had better put my comment back as it has been censored, I was at no !.
    “I bet his relatives are Nigerian scammers”

    Thought you were in favour of free speech?
    If the truth hurts you are a socialist.

  96. 96
    the savant says:

    Chuck Us Even More of Your Money says :

    Of course I use Ransquawk daily !!
    Ever since Piers Morgan closed down the City Slickers duo at the Mirror how d’you think i acquire the money to buy my sharp suits and my cut glass Home Counties accent ?

  97. 97
    New Town Toff, Edinburgh says:

    Oh come on, the whole political class – which includes the Tories – likes to buy off these lazy, feckless bastards with 50in screen televisions, Xboxes etc. because they don’t have the moral courage to say “Enough!”

    Just recently my wife was shopping in Boots at lunchtime and was almost sent flying by two scumbags rushing to the pharmacy to get their taxpayer-funded methadone. About ten minutes later she saw the same pair in a mini-supermarket buying cans of beer. No doubt they then jumped on a bus (on which they travelled free, courtesy again of the taxpayer) and spent the afternoon relazing at home watching some moronic programme on their 50 in screen, which despite not working they still seem to be able to afford.

    Anyway, back to my main point – yep, Labour has much to answer for but anyone who thinks that the Tories are any less responsible is deluding themselves. Up here the governing party – the SNP – does not exist in England, but they appease the underclass in exactly the same way as the political parties down South do. This country is now a left-liberal dictatorship posing as a multi-party democracy.

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