September 10th, 2012

New Parliamentary Private Secretaries Announced, So Far

As the news of which lucky members of the 2010 intake are chosen to be PPSs breaks, Guido will be updating this post as and when. So far we have:

  • Sam Gyimah to David Cameron
  • Duncan Hames to Nick Clegg
  • Daniel Kawczynski to David Jones at Wales
  • Damian Collins to Theresa Villiers at NI
  • Alec Shelbrooke to Mike Penning at NI
  • Harriet Baldwin to Mark Hoban at DWP
  • Lee Scott to Chris Grayling at Justice
  • Amber Rudd to George Osborne at Treasuary
  • Ben Gummer to Alan Duncan at DfID
  • David Burrowes to Owen Patterson at DEFRA
  • Paul Maynard to Oliver Letwin at Cabinet Office
  • Laura Sandys to Greg Barker at DECC
  • Gavin Williamson to Patrick McLoughlin at Transport
  • Lorley Burt to Danny Alexander at the Treasury
  • Stephen Gilbert to Ed Davey at Energy and Climate Change
  • Simon Wright to David Laws at DfE
  • Andrew Jones to Andrew Mitchell at the Whips’s Office
  • Jessica Lee to Dominic Grieve as Attorney General
  • Paul Uppal to David Willets at BIS
  • Therese Coffey to Michael Fallon at BIS
  • Jake Berry to Grant Shapps
  • Stuart Andrew to Francis Maude at Cabinet Office
  • John Glen to Eric Pickles at Communities
  • Mark Menzies to Mark Prisk at Housing
  • Eric Ollerenshaw to Sayeeda Warsi
  • Mary Macloed to Maria Miller at DCMS
  • Simon Kirby to Hugh Robertson at DCMS
  • Claire Perry to Philip Hammond at Defence
  • Kris Hopkins to Andrew Rothaban at Defence
  • Damian Hinds to Mark Francois at Defence
  • Gavin Barwell to Michael Gove at DfE
  • Mel Stride to John Hayes at Energy
  • Keith Simpson to William Hague at FCO
  • Tobias Ellwood to David Lidlington at Europe
  • Richard Graham to Hugo Swire at FCO
  • Rob Wilson to Jeremy Hunt at Health
  • George Hollingberry to Theresa May at Home Office
  • David Rutley to Damian Green at Police
  • Guy Opperman to Mark Harper at Immigration
  • Julian Smith to Justine Greening
  • John Howell to Andrew Lansley
  • Nigel Adams to Lord Strathclyde
  • Julian Sturdy to Simon Burns at Transport
  • Amber Rudd to George Osborne at Treasury
  • David Mowat to Greg Clark at Treasury
  • Andrew Selous to Iain Duncan Smith at DWP
  • Daniel Kawczynski to David Jones at Wales
  • Ben Wallace to Ken Clarke

Hear of anymore? Email Guido.

UPDATE: The LibDem changes are in. Clegg is hardly teaching his rebels a lesson:


  1. 1
    81lly's mum says:

    crazy crazy crazy


    • 6
      I hate kebabs says:

      Eddie (as he liked to be called at Oxford) Balls is the new PPS to Vince Cable at Buisness


      • 8
        Stonewall says:

        Butch Cameron and the Cocksucker Kid to PM and dep. PM.


        • 12
          Andy Marr says:

          Right hand to be moved to rohypnoled slapper’s arse.


        • 27
          Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

          I am bitterly disappointed that I have not been given a position in the reshuffle. I have done everything I can to get promoted. I have stopped my bonking trips to Russia on expenses, I have tried to keep my name out of the press and even put sympathy stories out about me having open heart surgery. Nothing has worked. Vladimir and my many young female fans around the world are bitterly disappointed. By the way girls here is a good photo of me for you all to swoon over. Boaz.


      • 55
        Anonymous says:

        Does Vince prefer Balls in the Nazi uniform?


    • 87
      Sophie says:

      Ben Gummer?

      Any relation?


  2. 2
    Kebab Time says:

    Can we change policy no, can we try plan A?


  3. 3
    John says:

    Mark Hoban is at DWP


  4. 4
    Wee Willie says:

    Where is the growth?


  5. 5
    The only way is bumsex says:

    Thank God – Dave’s new right hand man also read PPE.

    Just what’s needed to complement Dave’s tenuous grasp of reality.


    • 9
      Andy Marr says:

      get a grip.


    • 11

      At least Sam Gyimah has worked and earned money in the real world, founding and running two businesses, unlike Balls, Milliband and all the other idiots that spent 13 years fucking over the UK worse than any other time in history..

      Now free spending tossers like you want B£iar and Brown’s bitches back to fix it


      • 19
        The only way is bumsex says:

        So anyone that recognises that Cameron is a useless, lying turd supports Labour?

        You’re almost as thick as Cameron.


  6. 10
    Andy Marr's bit on the side says:

    … its easier to get a grip if you slip your hand inside my jeans


  7. 13
    TUC says:


  8. 15
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Have any of the EU rebels been offered anything other than the cold shoulder?


  9. 16

    Boris Maximus Bonkius: {At the Games} Are you not entertained? Are you not entertained? Is this not why you are here? Count those medals!

    Crowd: Spaniard, Spaniard, Spaniard…

    Commode-head enters the arena.

    Commode-head: Your fame is well deserved, Spaniard. I don’t think there’s ever been an fighter to match you. .. tell us all your real name?

    Maximus Bonkius: My name is Agitator..
    [turns away from Commode-head}
    Commode-head: How dare you talk back to me! Slave, .. tell me your name.
    Maximus Bonkius: [removes helmet and turns around to face Commode-head]

    My name is Maximus Bonkiuus Legovii,
    commander of the Armies of the bit that isn’t the east end or Islington, General of the WiffWaff Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Magius Thatcherlius. Father to an unkown number of sons, husband to a pretty thoroughly annoyed and jolly fed up wife. And I will have my title, in this Parliament or the next.

    Crowd: Spaniard, Spaniard, Spaniard… Porkus..Porkus..Porkus..


  10. 21
    Tactical Chukka says:

    It is how I stay in the game


  11. 22

    Spain breaks the world record in provable unemployment according to ILO.
    Southern Europe is suffering from the highest proven unemployment in the world, country specific statistics provided by the ILO for Financial Times Deutschland have shown. Spain holds the world record now with 24.5% unemployed, followed by Greece at 22.3%.

    The ILO is responsible for drawing up and overseeing international labour standards.


    • 25
      Ed Bollockov says:

      Vote labour and we can beat that record.


      • 38
        Wal Hannington says:

        ‘The 20th century witnessed two particularly severe depressions in Britain – in the 1920s and ’30s and in the 1980s and ’90s – in which unemployment reached as high as 25 per cent of the adult labour force (and even higher in some areas).’

        And who was in power? The Tories.


    • 72 says:

      It’s Cameron’s fault.


  12. 24
  13. 29
    ToonBob... says:

    Who gives a f*ck, I am sure someone does, just not me….. or Boris!


  14. 31
  15. 34
    Louie Mensch says:

    I’m glad I went.


  16. 40
    Deep joy the Olympics are over says:

    Secretaries? Can’t they type for themselves?


  17. 51
    Gooey Blob says:

    Meanwhile, Labour’s small poll lead stubbornly refuses to get anywhere near the levels it should be mid-term if Labour are to improve on their 2010 seat totals next time. Let’s face it, the UK will have returned to growth by then.

    There’s a tiny rumour going round that Ed Miliband may not be safe after all…


    • 61
      BBC news reports for three days solid says:

      You must be mistaken- despite absolutely no evidence we know Cameron faces a stalking horse challenge and his position is under threat.


    • 126
      Your Friendly Neighbourhood Political Blowhard's Predictions Service says:

      Ed Miliband always was going to be a seat-warmer till the next election. The question would be how long Labour are willing to have him as the face of the Party, in preference to anyone else even less app*ealing, during their time in Opposition. He’s a goner in 2015 for sure, when he makes some sort of “I don’t want this to be about personalities” address in which he “confesses” he’s just been trying to keep pe*ace in the valley since the last election, so that it looks like he’s being a good Party man instead of trying to make a virtue out of necessity. (Lord Miliband, anyone?) If “One-foot-in-the-grave Dave” and “Knackered Nickers” are still a prickly pair going into 2015, and Labour have a real shot at taking the House of Commons with a clear majority, whoever they put up besides Ed M is liable to evoke, “Better a [less-than-desirable trait] than ‘Wallyband’ for the next five years” and it becomes a question of how soon before May 2015 this drumbeat starts.


  18. 53
    Mr.Mark Wouters says:

    The Economic downturn WILL CONTINUE ,there is nothing any so called politician can do about it ,nor the sun newspaper or police or army or monarcy or in fact anyone anywhere ,so all you fascict ass l–kers go and f–k yourselves for good (neo-cons in the usa and tories in Britain ,rightwingers averywhere!!!


    • 62
      Liam Byrne says:

      There’s no money left.


    • 66
      Labour lost, Get over it! says:

      Indeed “The Economic downturn WILL CONTINUE” until we balance the books and start paying off the national debit that Labour left us.


    • 74
      Fan & Shit says:

      At this point, I sincerely believe it doesn’t matter what the politicos or global/central banks will or will not do. The debt-based monetary system that was created in 1971 is taking its last breaths. This system will collapse, although I don’t know whether it will be though hyperinflation or the first hyperdeflation the world has ever seen.

      We have reached the point where the society as a whole can not take on any more debt, and since the amount of debt outnumbers the amount of money, the whole thing is over.

      What’s concerning and very disturbing is to witness all the masses being completely unaware of what is going on. The main stream media have a lot to answer for in this regard. People actually believe the global and central bankers will fix this economic clusterfuck for them. Serously, how badly does one need to get screwed in order to understand?


  19. 54
    Mark Wouters says:

    Dont forget Blister agent and Nerve gas only needs to be a pinhed to touch the skin and were dead
    Official MOD figures


  20. 63
    Ed Moribund says:

    Today’s buzz word is “Hyperglobalsocialmegapromise”

    It means… means I get some more BBC airtime.


  21. 65
    old grumpy says:

    Gyimah will be great waving at traffic for Cambo; otherwise he ain’t much of a gimlet…………


  22. 67
    Jimmy says:

    * Burnham Wood to Dunsinane Hill


  23. 76

    Did I miss anything?


  24. 83
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Channel 4 News – what a buch of jumped up tossers.


  25. 92
    Joseph Aloisius Ratzinger says:

    What is all this fascination with bumsex?


  26. 93
    David Cameron (Leader of the Nasty Party) says:

    I would like to wish Team GB the very best of luck in the 2012 Olympics.


  27. 94
    ? says:

    This QE money. Does it have to be paid back?


  28. 96
    Frank Field MP says:

    “The universal credit programme is on course for disaster”


  29. 114
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Sockpuppet – News.

    Dorset’s sockpuppets at it again …. Politicians – they’re all in it together


  30. 116
    three years ago, this blog was mildly amusing says:

    Where did it all go wrong?


  31. 128
    David Cameron says:

    Let sunshine win the day!


  32. 133
    Zebidee says:

    Time for bed.


  33. 134
    Saffron says:

    PPS positions,do this lot get paid and if so how much?.
    Boris for PM a long shot.
    Liebour/Bliar/Prime Mentallist/Debt an absolute disaster for this country,as they were regarding unfettered immigrants into the country.
    Ed Millicrap/Wavy Davy fortune seeking chancers,who frankly don’t know their arse from their elbow.
    Ed Bollocks,the man who apparently does not know what debt is and how you get out of it,my message to the thick pillock is this:- STOP BORROWING AND START SAVING.
    Now to the union fat cat overpaid underworked barons who are hell bent on disrupting the country.
    One union achieved 27% of their members voting for action,hardly a massive vote was it?.


    • 178
      Ho hum says:

      It seems to be the case that the Civil Service is becoming increasingly redundant with all these private advisers hanging around. So why do we need several hundred thousand pen pushers when a mere handful sitting in an outer office seem to have the business firmly under control?


  34. 137
    Gordon Brown says:

    I just flushed 50 pounds down the toilet and I became aroused.


  35. 147
    Taxpayer says:

    I’ve never heard of these people. What do they do?


    • 169
      It's In The Bag says:

      PPS’s are the way the Parties get to separate the ministerial-track wheat from the chaff, and then keep the chaff. If you’re dumb enough to take a position that pays you no more than your base salary but saddles you with all of the ethical responsibilities of a minister with none of the power, and tells you not to represent anything you say as official policy even if it is, since you ought not be dealing with the Press, and tells you you can never have a free vote on anything, you had better come from a constituency that would elect a dead dog if it wore your rosette (better still you were parachuted in), because who would want to vote for anyone who’d want to make themselves such non-entities saying, in effect, “Thank you Sir, may I have another?” all in the name of an “apprenticeship” to a position they may never get, right?


  36. 151
    just saying says:

    Lefties hate the fact that the country is currently proud and happy.


  37. 152
    Anonymous says:

    What’s the point of Will Self?


  38. 153
    Red Ed's non-predator union bosses says:


  39. 155
    Chuka Urmunneyaround says:

    I’ve been on the waccy baccy again !!!!!!!!


    • 158
      Red Ed's non-predator union bosses says:

      They’ll believe whatever we tell them to believe.


    • 159
      annette curton says:

      It is true Chukka (some people might laugh) but our unions have always been at the cutting edge of technology.


    • 160
      E says:

      Who gives a flyin fuck , darlin ??

      U all as mad as each other , isn’t u ?? x .

      That why u made me go insane an that . Thx :- )

      Readin ur bullshit has destroyed my noddle , ain’t it ??

      Oh , well . Shit happens , I spose …… *wanders off for a tinkle* …..

      E x .


  40. 163
    This proves it Fabians ARE EVIL says:

    This is sick and it shines a clear light on the evil that hides behind socialists and their bigoted holier than thou dogma – can you imagine the ‘outrage’ if those of the right did something similar for that complete and utterly useless and dangerous wrecker of the economy Gordon Brown???

    Thatcher rebuilt and Gordon destroyed and yet………..


    • 164
      Dave Figgley says:

      Ha ha, mate. Try getting a life outside your bedroom, sunshine. It doesn’t hurt….much.
      What a ponce.

      Must motor, blah…..quads……uniforms….blah….books….etc…


      • 166
        This proves it Fabians ARE EVIL says:

        You, sir, are Moronic lefty twat


        • 167
          Dave Figgley says:

          Ha ha, son. Whatever. A little birdie tells me you like to put your wife’s panties on, after she’s left for work, mate.
          We’re all in this together, geezer. Dig this:


          • Bob, the creator of soo much and the copier of nothing says:

            I’ve, seriously, had enough of this bollocks. Nothing’s happening. You people get me down with your recycycled bullshit. You, and I, need to get a life. You can’t, but I must. The next, pointless, general election isn’t for another 32 months and I, deffo, can’t take 32 months of Steve’s filler.
            Tinker thinks I’m funny and so do I. She heads for the litter tray whereas I just bung them in on 40c QuickWash.
            Can I be arsed to play this game anymore? I think not.
            Why did you ban “EWAN fucking ME”, FFS??
            What a dork!! Madness!! She’s just going to go into “attack” mode, isn’t she?
            You’re too fucking thick to see that though, aren’t you? Your problem, I guess. See you online again soon.


  41. 171
    Marz Barz says:

    I reckon most pundits have it wrong.

    The Liberals will not do a deal with any other party. They will expose the two main parties for the hypocrites that they are.


    • 176
      Blowing Whistles says:

      And the Lib Dems are not hypocrites themselves? They’re all in it together – to dupe the public en masse … wake up for mother natures sake and smell the coffee.


  42. 172
    Gordon Brown says:

    Come on Andy.


  43. 181
    albacore says:

    Thanks, Fawkes, don’t bother updating that list
    There’s oodles more lunacy that you’ve missed
    Like, how about this for one real epic fail
    Now we know why they don’t sling MPs in jail


  44. 182
    David Cameron (Leader of the Nasty Party) says:

    I shall bow to public opinion and find safe seats for both Andrew Strauss and Andy Murray and bring them into the Cabinet.

    Good Morning


  45. 187
    Anonymous says:

    Who gives a shit about these nonentities?


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