September 7th, 2012

Friday Caption Contest (In and Out Edition)


  1. 1
    Kebab Time says:

    “The animals go in 3 by 3 “


  2. 2
    I Squiggle says:

    Hunt goes to the NHS to have a smug grin removed surgically..


    • 76
      Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

      No need. Just watch Piggy Pickles eating and the jaw drops naturally.


      • 106
        His Lardship John Prescott says:

        Seen me eat lately? Some of our lads, home from the ‘Stan, an’ them has seen the worst you can imaginate, have excused themselves from me table!


  3. 4
    Liarpoliticians says:

    I’m gonna cast a spell-man, and hex your NHS brief.


  4. 5
    Anonymous says:

    The Nones of September.


  5. 6
    Caligula says:

    Somebody’s going back to the backbenches for a spell, man!


  6. 7
    Hunt says:

    Three c-unts for the price of three.


  7. 9
    Universal Hiss says:

    “I’ll grab him by the balls & you punch his kidneys.”


  8. 10
    I Squiggle says:

    Kenneth Clarke joins two colleagues and tries to sneak past in disguise..


  9. 12
    John Moss says:

    Did you bring wine?


  10. 13
    Anonymous says:

    It’s all going to end in tears.


  11. 14
    Steve Miliband says:

    New Health Secretary with his coffeemakers


  12. 15
    anonemo says:

    It’s all going to end in tears.


  13. 16
    colchester1648 says:

    Hunt: Dave’s just invited me round for a glass of wine !
    Gillan: Wine? What wine?
    Spelman: He told me we were going to watch ‘The Crying Game.’


  14. 17
    SP4BS says:

    I just wish I was cruising with Matthew Paris.


  15. 19
    Martin says:

    Beware the ides on march.


  16. 20
    Peter Grant says:

    Jeremy Hunt: “I’m not here for the benefit of my health ladies, but I shall probably be taking health benefits away before too long!”


  17. 21
    SP4BS says:

    Thats the league of gentlemen isn’t it?


  18. 22
    Mr Plum says:

    The old biddies look ready for putting out to oasture.


    • 47
      Spartacus says:

      no, no. they are leaders of industry who have changed direction to serve the country and not to line their own pockets at the taxpayers’ expense


  19. 23
    Roundell says:

    can you lend me a tissue?


  20. 24
    Vladikavkaz says:

    “I was just here as window dressing anyway.”


  21. 25
    PK says:

    Never mind a caption…………just what is Angela Merkel doing there?


  22. 26
    The only way is bumsex says:

    X Factor auditions for ugly people


  23. 27
    Taff Jones says:

    The one in the middle looks like a sheep. I’d give her one.


  24. 28
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    “Cheer up, you can always get work on EastEnders if they decide to resurrect Pauline; and I suppose it’s a blessing for me, too, getting to spend more quality time with Jon…”


  25. 29
    The public says:

    I have no idea what any of these people have done to merit being in your competition Guido. Are they heroes of yours?


  26. 30
    Mr Plum says:

    I see Hunt already has his coffee makers in tow.


  27. 31
    Mr Reshuffle says:

    Gillan to Spelman: “..and I fondled Dave’s balls in my hand like this, but he was still unmoved”
    Hunt: “Balls you say? You needed to show Dave what I showed him!”


  28. 32
    Just what the fuck is he rabbiting on about? says:


  29. 33
    Liarpoliticians says:

    Cameron’s Three Mouseketeers.


  30. 34
    Roscoe Rules says:

    Fuck me I’ve not even started the job yet and I’m being harassed by old biddies moaning about their arthritic limbs.


  31. 35
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Take Two, on account of ModBot:

    “Cheer up, you can always get work on EastEnders if they decide to resurrect P*a*u*line– and I suppose it’s a blessing for me, too, getting to spend more quality time with my son Jon…”


  32. 36
    Tom Tomos says:

    Nimbly does it…


  33. 37
    dog says:

    How did this Hunt get promoted?


  34. 38
    Top Rate Selection says:

    Going to see the man with brilliant judgement for choosing the right person for the right job.


  35. 39
    Anonymous says:

    In politics “everyone needs a willy”…


  36. 40
    a non says:

    Eeny, meeny, miny? Unfortunately for one of them, there’s no moe!


    • 70
      Tay King-dePisse says:

      No Moe? That’s odd, because they ARE “Three Stooges,” aren’t they? “SOITENLY– Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk– Woo Woo Woo Woo Woo!”

      (Unless of course you mean “dat’s all dey is, dey ain’t nuh mo’…”)


  37. 41
  38. 42
    Jeremy Hunt says:

    Unlike Louise Mensch, Cheryl Gillan and Caroline Spelman I know exactly what it does take to get promoted by Dave.


  39. 44
    Spartacus says:

    angela merkle loses her job in cabinet reshuffle


  40. 45
    Liarpoliticians says:

    Na na, Mr Murdoch, can’t catch me in the Department of Health!


  41. 46
    stroppycow says:

    In out in out – is that really what it’s all about?


  42. 48
    gramma says:

    “The Return of the Living Dead”


  43. 49
    gramma says:

    Nightmare on Downing Street


  44. 50
    Rupert my Hero says:

    Hokum Cokey no less.


  45. 51
    Maverick Ways says:

    Hunt [thinks] How smug am I?

    Gillan [thinks] I’m trying but he’s untouchable.

    Spelman [thinks] My son has huge biceps.


  46. 52
    The public says:

    Just 3 of the reasons why the Conservative Party will not be in government after the next election.


  47. 54
    Freddie Fraudster says:

    “So where’s this Job Centre thingumy then?”


  48. 55
    Geordieboy says:

    What has Hunt got on call me Dave?


    • 80
      Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

      Ever since he found the two dead seven year old chimney sweeps up Dave’s chimney he hasn’t looked back.


  49. 58
    Dirty David says:

    In all the confusion I kinda forgot how many ministers I fired.Was it five or six?
    Do you feel lucky punk?


  50. 59
    johnwardmedway says:

    Gillan: I used to play Amy Pond in younger days, but now I’m going to have to duck out. Only there aren’t any ducks on the duck-pond…


  51. 60
    lastofthesummervintage says:

    spellman to old woman

    “did you know Jeremy’s nickname is thrush, because he is an irritating little c**t


  52. 61
    Eurorealist says:

    I’d love a glass of wine


  53. 62
    illogical says:

    Britain’s got talons


  54. 65
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Hunt for the dregs in Cameron’s drinks cabinet ends.


  55. 67
    the savant says:

    Hi , my name s Jeremy .

    I don ‘t know who these two old troughers following me are .

    Goodness the older one could pass for my wife !!


  56. 68
    Darrol Skinner says:

    Gillian: “Can You Believe He Took The Piss Out Of The NHS Being In The Opening Ceremony And Now The Silly Hunt Is The Health Secretary!”


  57. 71
    Stepney says:

    “Mr. Cameron is Jeremy’s godfather. To the Italian people, that is a very religious, sacred, close relationship.”


  58. 72
    Anonymous says:

    Hunt: “Guess which one I did first?”


  59. 74
    a non says:

    Gillian “gooses” Jeremy.
    “I don’t mind walking behind him but he keeps practicing saying Merci Papa for the last 5 minutes”


  60. 79
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    Ok girls; one more massive cock up and you could be looking at the next PM.


  61. 83
    Sticks'nStones says:

    EYES, LEFT! That’s where Cameron/Osborne insist we’re going.


  62. 84
    Sticks'nStones says:

    EYES, LEFT, That’s where Cameron/Osborne insist we’re STILL going.

    (Apologies, word dropped in original submission)


  63. 85
    old grumpy says:

    Join the queue for a Charisma transplant!


  64. 86
    HellforLeather says:

    Syria’s Assad brought in by Downing Street honeytrap


  65. 87
    IQ 105.1 says:

    Egg Soldiers.


  66. 88
    David 'chase me big boy' Laws says:

    All three should be behind bars for the offence of incompetence.


  67. 90
    Anonymous says:

    New Health Secretary informs two pensioners that they’re now to report to Iain Duncan-Smith


  68. 91
    Lizzie says:

    Rats not leaving the sinking ship …


  69. 92
    Graduate says:

    Hear no evil, speak no evil and see no evil.


  70. 93
    David Scameron says:

    I’ll cut the deficit, not the NHS


  71. 94
    Moussa Koussa's pet meerkat says:

    Hunt’s task is to fabricate some truth behind Cameron’s big lie (“No more top-down reorganisation of the NHS”). That big lie that will do for Cameron what the phrase “weapons of mass destruction” did for Blair in the last decade.

    The public will be less forgiving than Murdoch was.


  72. 95
    Anonymous says:

    Just what on earth was Call me Dave thinking when he promised “no top down reorganisation of the NHS”? I suppose it went the way of a “vote blue, go green”, pretending to support the Living Wage and other PR guff from Dave. In translation, a big fat liar.

    I thought that Dave (baby bum face) and his decisions over Murdoch, Coulson and Brooks were bad. He’s now rewarded the man who described himself as “cheerleader for Murdoch”, and almost gave Sky on a plate to his servant. Thank goodness the Guardian has gate-crashed Hunt’s plan.

    Health Secretary? The only thing Hunt cares about is the health of Murdoch’s bank balance.

    This political establishment is trying to tell us something. Scam the taxpayer, and you get back into cabinet. Act inappropriately and refuse to follow official procedures, and you get promoted. Oh, sorry, cosy favours are only reserved for law-breaking political types.

    For a party that loves the concept of firing people, it’s funny when they cock up, they get rewarded – not fired. Lansley’s poor communication was a small problem when he was so incredibly arrogant, and picked and chose which health groups to listen to.

    I find the Tories incredibly patronising. Oh yes, the NHS sell-off will be all gravy if it’s communicated better, darling. Put a pretty face and everyone will be conned. That’s PR Dave all together, if something is fundamentally crap, just gloss over it with more PR and “communication”.


  73. 96
    Flabbot says:

    He developed that startled look when he was only the Culture Secretary..

    Watch it get a million times worse now.

    Like a rabbit in the huntlights…


  74. 97
    Baron Hogwash says:

    Hunt for new job!


  75. 100
    Jimmy says:

    Casting is underway for a new production of the Vagina Monologues.


  76. 102
    freddy fraudster says:

    David told me we needed to spend more time with our expenses.


  77. 103
    Hector says:

    Here come the girls!


  78. 105
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Three Blind Mice …… see how they …..

    [into the den of the mouse]


  79. 107
    St Augustine says:

    Health, Wealth, and Crappiness


  80. 108
    taC eht abbaJ says:

    I thought Mo Mowlem was dead?


  81. 113
    Nick Boles says:

    Fruit Ninja and two angry birds


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Find out more about PLMR

Austrian Chancellor Werner Faymann on Cameron’s refusal to pay the £1.7 billion EU bill by December 1st:

“Well, then he’s gonna pay on December 2nd”

Mycroft says:

Have you read the last bit of Animal Farm?

You know where the animals are looking through the Farmhouse window?

My TV screen was that window at lunch-time today.

Be careful, the sudden self-congratulatory tone, the slightly pudgy outline of indulgence and you become exactly what you should despise.

The jolly face of the Quisling Cameron poses for your camera has mesmerised and deceived you, you who were once not so deceived.

You were no firebrand, you were a damp squib in my opinion, sorry.

You need a damned good kick up the ahse!

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