Friday Caption Contest (In and Out Edition)
How Mervyn King Lost Bank Battle War | WSJ
BBC Corporation Tax Horror Story | IEA
Sally Bercow Judgement in Full | Mr Justice Tugendhat
Commies Blame Capitalism For Terror Attack | The Commentator
Lord Black v Press Regulation | Guardian
Osborne’s Complacency | FT
DWP’s Welfare Failings | Isabel Hardman
Get Used to Coalitions | David Aaronovitch
Woolwich a Showcase in the Banality of Evil | Fraser Nelson
The Enemy Within | Max Hastings
Muslim Led Military-Style Free School Needed | Toby Young
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Ed Balls stretches credulity by claiming he isn’t ambitious…
“I would love to be part of Ed’s Labour government but what I do next for me is not an all-consuming passion. I’m more bothered, in a personal sense, about getting to grade 8 piano by the time I’m 50.”
Bill Quango MP says:
Ned Flanders – Clegg
Lisa Simpson – Natalie Bennett
Milhouse – Hilary Benn
Martin Prince – Andy Burnham
Edna Krabappel – Luciana Berger
Crazy Cat Lady – Glenda jackson
Comic book guy – John Prescott
Carl – Chucka
Lenny – Philip Hammond
Willie – Eric joyce
Poochie – Gordon Brown
Reverend Lovejoy – Tony Blair
“The animals go in 3 by 3 “
Not even slightly funny – why bother
pathetic
Son, grandmother and mother enter #10 for tea and biscuits
Sorry…you must be mistaken I looked hard at the pic and I still can’t see any lefties
Spellman and Hunt pick up an old bag they hope they can make a profit on
Cameron: I enjoy a good whine.
” Egg Soldiers”
Hunt goes to the NHS to have a smug grin removed surgically..
No need. Just watch Piggy Pickles eating and the jaw drops naturally.
Seen me eat lately? Some of our lads, home from the ‘Stan, an’ them has seen the worst you can imaginate, have excused themselves from me table!
I’m gonna cast a spell-man, and hex your NHS brief.
The Nones of September.
Somebody’s going back to the backbenches for a spell, man!
Three c-unts for the price of three.
“I’ll grab him by the balls & you punch his kidneys.”
Winner!
Could be a long search – trying to find Hunt’s balls.
That is why is called HUNT
Kenneth Clarke joins two colleagues and tries to sneak past in disguise..
The ciggies are a dead giveaway.
Did you bring wine?
It’s all going to end in tears.
It’s all going to end in Sauvignon
Well, two of them certainly drew a blanc…
New Health Secretary with his coffeemakers
It’s all going to end in tears.
Hunt: Dave’s just invited me round for a glass of wine !
Gillan: Wine? What wine?
Spelman: He told me we were going to watch ‘The Crying Game.’
I just wish I was cruising with Matthew Paris.
Beware the ides on march.
Jeremy Hunt: “I’m not here for the benefit of my health ladies, but I shall probably be taking health benefits away before too long!”
Thats the league of gentlemen isn’t it?
The old biddies look ready for putting out to oasture.
no, no. they are leaders of industry who have changed direction to serve the country and not to line their own pockets at the taxpayers’ expense
can you lend me a tissue?
“I was just here as window dressing anyway.”
Never mind a caption…………just what is Angela Merkel doing there?
X Factor auditions for ugly people
The one in the middle looks like a sheep. I’d give her one.
Actually the oneion the middle is asking the assembled hordes if they know who nicked her briefcase.
“Cheer up, you can always get work on EastEnders if they decide to resurrect Pauline; and I suppose it’s a blessing for me, too, getting to spend more quality time with Jon…”
I have no idea what any of these people have done to merit being in your competition Guido. Are they heroes of yours?
I see Hunt already has his coffee makers in tow.
Gillan to Spelman: “..and I fondled Dave’s balls in my hand like this, but he was still unmoved”
Hunt: “Balls you say? You needed to show Dave what I showed him!”
I bet he livens up the dinner party chat.
I gave up aft… zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Cameron’s Three Mouseketeers.
Fuck me I’ve not even started the job yet and I’m being harassed by old biddies moaning about their arthritic limbs.
Take Two, on account of ModBot:
“Cheer up, you can always get work on EastEnders if they decide to resurrect P*a*u*line– and I suppose it’s a blessing for me, too, getting to spend more quality time with my son Jon…”
Nimbly does it…
How did this Hunt get promoted?
Cameron wanted some new blood in the cabinet.Someone not tainted by past mistakes….oops.
As Blackadder would say; he has the preliminary sketches.
Going to see the man with brilliant judgement for choosing the right person for the right job.
In politics “everyone needs a willy”…
Guido has one
I can confirm that – for sure! x
Eeny, meeny, miny? Unfortunately for one of them, there’s no moe!
No Moe? That’s odd, because they ARE “Three Stooges,” aren’t they? “SOITENLY– Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk– Woo Woo Woo Woo Woo!”
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-CIGwwaf3yKM/T-4j19yZ7eI/AAAAAAAACyU/KcyMGNhnRog/s1600/stooges+0.jpg
(Unless of course you mean “dat’s all dey is, dey ain’t nuh mo’…”)
It’s not personal, just business…
http://www.tcm.com/mediaroom/video/223535/Bugsy-Movie-Clip-Shirt-Off-My-Back.html
Unlike Louise Mensch, Cheryl Gillan and Caroline Spelman I know exactly what it does take to get promoted by Dave.
Creep, creep, creep
angela merkle loses her job in cabinet reshuffle
Na na, Mr Murdoch, can’t catch me in the Department of Health!
In out in out – is that really what it’s all about?
“The Return of the Living Dead”
Nightmare on Downing Street
Hokum Cokey no less.
Hunt [thinks] How smug am I?
Gillan [thinks] I’m trying but he’s untouchable.
Spelman [thinks] My son has huge biceps.
Just 3 of the reasons why the Conservative Party will not be in government after the next election.
“So where’s this Job Centre thingumy then?”
What has Hunt got on call me Dave?
Ever since he found the two dead seven year old chimney sweeps up Dave’s chimney he hasn’t looked back.
In all the confusion I kinda forgot how many ministers I fired.Was it five or six?
Do you feel lucky punk?
+1.
Gillan: I used to play Amy Pond in younger days, but now I’m going to have to duck out. Only there aren’t any ducks on the duck-pond…
spellman to old woman
“did you know Jeremy’s nickname is thrush, because he is an irritating little c**t
I’d love a glass of wine
Britain’s got talons
Hunt for the dregs in Cameron’s drinks cabinet ends.
Hi , my name s Jeremy .
I don ‘t know who these two old troughers following me are .
Goodness the older one could pass for my wife !!
Gillian: “Can You Believe He Took The Piss Out Of The NHS Being In The Opening Ceremony And Now The Silly Hunt Is The Health Secretary!”
“Mr. Cameron is Jeremy’s godfather. To the Italian people, that is a very religious, sacred, close relationship.”
Hunt: “Guess which one I did first?”
Gillian “gooses” Jeremy.
“I don’t mind walking behind him but he keeps practicing saying Merci Papa for the last 5 minutes”
Ok girls; one more massive cock up and you could be looking at the next PM.
EYES, LEFT! That’s where Cameron/Osborne insist we’re going.
EYES, LEFT, That’s where Cameron/Osborne insist we’re STILL going.
(Apologies, word dropped in original submission)
Join the queue for a Charisma transplant!
Syria’s Assad brought in by Downing Street honeytrap
Egg Soldiers.
All three should be behind bars for the offence of incompetence.
New Health Secretary informs two pensioners that they’re now to report to Iain Duncan-Smith
Rats not leaving the sinking ship …
Hear no evil, speak no evil and see no evil.
I’ll cut the deficit, not the NHS
Hunt’s task is to fabricate some truth behind Cameron’s big lie (“No more top-down reorganisation of the NHS”). That big lie that will do for Cameron what the phrase “weapons of mass destruction” did for Blair in the last decade.
The public will be less forgiving than Murdoch was.
Just what on earth was Call me Dave thinking when he promised “no top down reorganisation of the NHS”? I suppose it went the way of a “vote blue, go green”, pretending to support the Living Wage and other PR guff from Dave. In translation, a big fat liar.
I thought that Dave (baby bum face) and his decisions over Murdoch, Coulson and Brooks were bad. He’s now rewarded the man who described himself as “cheerleader for Murdoch”, and almost gave Sky on a plate to his servant. Thank goodness the Guardian has gate-crashed Hunt’s plan.
Health Secretary? The only thing Hunt cares about is the health of Murdoch’s bank balance.
This political establishment is trying to tell us something. Scam the taxpayer, and you get back into cabinet. Act inappropriately and refuse to follow official procedures, and you get promoted. Oh, sorry, cosy favours are only reserved for law-breaking political types.
For a party that loves the concept of firing people, it’s funny when they cock up, they get rewarded – not fired. Lansley’s poor communication was a small problem when he was so incredibly arrogant, and picked and chose which health groups to listen to.
I find the Tories incredibly patronising. Oh yes, the NHS sell-off will be all gravy if it’s communicated better, darling. Put a pretty face and everyone will be conned. That’s PR Dave all together, if something is fundamentally crap, just gloss over it with more PR and “communication”.
That’s a little long for a punch line?
It’s the way I tell ‘em
If Dave was a PR man was he any good at it?
He developed that startled look when he was only the Culture Secretary..
Watch it get a million times worse now.
Like a rabbit in the huntlights…
Hunt for new job!
Casting is underway for a new production of the Vagina Monologues.
Winner
Jeremy’s got it cinched.
David told me we needed to spend more time with our expenses.
Here come the girls!
Three Blind Mice …… see how they …..
[into the den of the mouse]
Health, Wealth, and Crappiness
I thought Mo Mowlem was dead?
Fruit Ninja and two angry birds