September 6th, 2012

Labour’s Absent Earners’ Expenses Bills

David Miliband is earning £500,000 a year and rarely takes part in the cut and thrust of Westminster any more, but that hasn’t stopped him from being one of the highest expenses claimants in the figures released by IPSA today. Miliband is the 20th greediest MP, trousering £170,500 in expenses over the last year. He needs it, they only pay him £116 a minute for his speeches…

Meanwhile the former Prime Mentalist claimed £127,197 despite the fact that he’s only spoken in one debate during the last twelve months.

Why are we paying so much for his travel when he never turns up?


  1. 1
    Labour: Still nasty/nazi says:

    C-unts, the both of them.

  2. 2
    Lord WAyne of Trombone says:

    These are good hard working people – leave them alone

  3. 3

    Well, fuck me. Predistribution could start with the Millibands themselves couldn’t it?

  4. 4
    Mike Litorus says:

    If the Oxford English Dictionary need to ever explain the phrase “shitting in our mouths” I suggest they head to this page…

  5. 5
    The Labour Party, a wholly owned subsidiary of the Unite Union says:

    But, but, but, we gave you child tax credits! And… em… uh… er… child tax credits! And… uuuum… uuuuh… er… Thatcher! It’s all Thatcher’s fault!

  6. 6
    Bogeyman says:

    Gordon needs it. 24/7 nursing care is very expensive.

  7. 7
    Terrible But True says:

    £127k. In a year? That’s a lot of moats and duck houses.

    OK, it’s probably the damage deposit forfeits for each EasyJet flight.

    One is sure a few other parties have their troughers too, but even so Mr. Brown’s tab does seem worthy of a few questions being asked, and perhaps beyond this blog, as one presumes a few MPs besides him have to make their way across the borders a few times, even if it is just to pick up a cheque.

    One is sure the BBC, from Today to Newsnight, will be all over it?

  8. 8
    Anonymous says:

    It’s funny how MPs of the party of the people, the poor & the underdog, love, just love, spending the people’s hard earned tax payments! Vote Labour they know how to apend our money!

  9. 9
    P45 for the Honourable member. says:

    In any other walk of life if someone does not turn up for work, they are sacked. Why should MPs be treated any differently?

  10. 10
    Gordon Brown says:

    I saved the world, laddie! Wibble.

  11. 11
    Mike Hunt says:

    It’s the right thing to do.

  12. 12
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Predators not producers.

  13. 13
    Be afraid says:

    The number of Muslim delegates attending the Democratic National Convention has quadrupled since 2004.

  14. 14
    Ivor Tapeworm says:

    Don’t people realise that the fare from Scotland to Westminster is £63,000 each way?

  15. 15
    I don't need no doctor says:

    So how do they get away with it?

  16. 16 says:

    How many Nokias will £127K buy?

  17. 17
    JadedJean says:

    These behaviours are the classic behaviours of psychopaths.

    Here are some of the categories assessed in the Dr Hare psychopathy test.

    •glib and superficial charm
    •grandiose (exaggeratedly high estimation of self)
    •need for stimulation
    •pathological lying
    •cunning and manipulativeness
    •lack of remorse or guilt
    •shallow affect (superficial emotional responsiveness)
    •callousness and lack of empathy
    •parasitic lifestyle
    •poor behavioral controls
    •sexual promiscuity
    •failure to accept responsibility for own actions
    •many short-term marital relationships

    Do they remind you of a particular group of people?

  18. 18

    Another example of the alliance between the political Left and Islam. Just like Labour and the SWP in fact.

  19. 19
    Hang The Bastards says:


    How the fuck is this allowable or moral ?

  20. 20
    David Miliband says:

    Only 20th? Oy vey, I am such a shlemiel!

  21. 21
    How does Gordie score? says:

    Gordon Brown:

    •glib and superficial charm x (No charm)
    •grandiose (exaggeratedly high estimation of self) ✓
    •need for stimulation ✓
    •pathological lying ✓
    •cunning and manipulativeness ✓
    •lack of remorse or guilt ✓
    •shallow affect (superficial emotional responsiveness) ✓
    •callousness and lack of empathy ✓
    •parasitic lifestyle ✓
    •poor behavioral controls ✓
    •sexual promiscuity (Depends on whether you believe the Cape Cod rumours)
    •impulsivity ✓
    •irresponsibility ✓
    •failure to accept responsibility for own actions ✓
    •many short-term marital relationships N/A

  22. 22
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    When is the “honeymoon” going to be over for the Monkey and the Chimp?

  23. 23

    It cost us a lot more than that last time he visited.

    It would enrich England by £60bn to send Mr Brown 1 billion pounds a year to stay away.

  24. 24
    Johnny says:

    The best adverts for contraception ever.

  25. 25
    Axel says:

    Expenses Obfuscation :

    The Parliament Cover-up squad has now redacted all “Memebers Interests! from their own individual MPs Info Pages, and lumped them all into giant PDF files listed elsewhere.
    [No Longer update live online, it may only be read in the Parliament Library.]
    “The Register of Members’ Interests is published soon after the beginning of a new Parliament, under the authority of the Committee on Standards and Privileges, and annually thereafter. Between publications the Register is regularly updated electronically and is available for public inspection in the Search Room of the Parliamentary Archives.”

    But Published Online at an obscure page Here :

  26. 26
    smoggie says:

    Predistribute their expense claims into the pockets of hard working families,

  27. 27
    JadedJean says:

    The scoring is 0 for N/A, 1 for partially applicable and 2 for completely applicable.

    Score more than 30 and ‘they’ are probably a psychopath.

    By your reckoning above, Gordie scores 24, however those are not all of the tested categories above. So there is a good chance that he is.

    How many others in the HoC score similarly?

  28. 28

    I’ve been undercharging again.
    Well…the flying buttress is letting the rain in again.

    Someone get the intern to rush this to the fees office

    “renovations and repairs.Main and or second home- est £48,000″

  29. 29
    Farty Fifer says:

    “Ah wull buld a “New Town” oot o’ ma’ ain shite”

  30. 30
    The Lady's Not For Kipping says:

    Farage Has The Solution:

  31. 31
    Steve Miliband says:

    UPDATE:Gordon’s office has sent this statement explaining his high costs:

    Mr Brown’s staffing costs were as high in 2011-12 as in previous years as a result of the ongoing health problems. To ensure that he could continue to fulfil his parliamentary duties and work on behalf of his constituents he had no option but to apply to IPSA’s contingency budget, which provides additional funding to employ nursing staff to cover up sickness. The additional costs were closely scrutinised and approved by IPSA.

  32. 32
    Socialists = Sociopaths says:

    It’s in our D-N-A.

  33. 33
    Gonk says:

    The school fees are well past due.

  34. 34
    A Dung Beetle says:

    What’s wrong with that?

    I have been eating shit for years, and it never did me any harm

  35. 35
    Sick of the greed and lies(still) says:

    Tony Bliar would score 2 on every single one of those traits!

  36. 36
    JadedJean says:

    Sickening, but expected…refer to #17 above

  37. 37
    Mr & Mrs. Ball-Scooper, TRIPLE FLIPPERS says:

    You’re only on your second home ??

    We’re once, twice, three times a flipper……

  38. 38
    JadedJean says:

    Rapid advances have been made in neuroscience over the last 10 years.

    R4’s Today programme is covering them this week (see link below).

    The researchers are slowly-but-surely beginning to understand what makes people behave in certain ways. Freud and the psychologists are bunk.

    Science will resolve these problems and people in the end.

  39. 39
    Ed Miliband says:

    oink oink oink

  40. 40
    JadedJean says:


    Get the doctors in…refer to #17 above

    Psychopaths do not understand morals, that’s what makes it allowable.

  41. 41
    Order Order says:

    If the speaker can order a minister to attend parliament why does he not do the same for absent MPs?

  42. 42
    Jimmy says:

    Judging by this Shapps’ talking points don’t seem any different to Warsi’s

  43. 43
    Moussa Koussa says:

    My favourite is Nadhim Zahawi. Clearly not a shy Tory MP for Stafford on Avon. Only been an MP since May 2010.

    After 5 Scottish MP’s ( who have high travel costs ) , he is in 6th place with the highest expense total.

    He has by far the highest expenses in terms of staffing ( They like getting the family involved don’t they )

  44. 44
    Your Friendly Neighbourhood US Electoral Politics Analysis Service says:

    From about 25 to about 100, out of a delegate count of about 6,000. By contrast, there are almost 500 openly LGBT delegates. So if you do the maths, the poofs outnumber the Is*lam*abots around five-to-one. Didn’t stop the poofs and others from acceding to the wishes of the “Soldiers of God” by booing the “Jerusalem = Capital” question though, which “passed,” in a rather dodgy fashion, with no clear majority voting in favour, if you were to go by the voice vote; the Chair looks like he’s going to keep asking till he gets the answer he wants:

  45. 45
    Jimmy says:

    There’s money in thy purse.

  46. 46
    JadedJean says:

    Oh and one more point. Do you notice that many of the traits in the Hare PCL-C checklist are actually characteristics that the parties look out for in new candidates. They are lierally self selecting.

    Notice there are not many scientists in the HoC. Scientists are trained to deal in truth, otherwise there is no progress in science. Many of those in the HoC are either PPE grads, economics grads, PR grads law grads, trade unionists, business/finance people etc. who are all usually good at arguing or bending the truth.

    In the end, we get what we deserve. That’s liberal democracy folks.

  47. 47
    SP4BS says:

    where’s denzil when you need a geography teacher?

  48. 48
    Moussa Koussa says:

    You have to laugh

    Only this morning Guido was lauding Shapps for being a Mr Frugal ( The £4 Tie )

    There are 653 MP expenses Listed.

    Grant Shapps = 460th Expenses = 26404.87
    Gordon Brown = 467th Expenses = 26004.38

  49. 49
    Jimmy says:

    Where do you think Guido gets his talking points?

  50. 50
    JadedJean says:

    But ‘they’ DO need doctors!

    They are getting away with it because they can. They do not have moral constraints that normal people have i.e. consciences.

  51. 51
    Stevie says:

    Same old champagne socialists.

    No doubt the BBC, Channel 4 & The Guardian will be feeding these socialist troughers to UK-Uncut – right?

  52. 52
    Philip McArthur says:

    Yes but isnt it much better for us all now that Gordon does not turn up for work ?

  53. 53
    Moussa Koussa says:

    My other fav is Daniel Rogerson, Lib Dum for North Cornwall. Pays his wife £10K, her title, Diary Secretary.

    £10.000 to mind a diary.

  54. 54
    the savant says:

    seriously this is an outrage

    apart from both millionaireband and mcmental being keel hauled we should have the drains up on a system which allows these monstrosities to go on placidly and unpunished .

    could not a — wait for it — parliamentary committee — look into these matters ??

  55. 55
    The Paragnostic says:

    Science will resolve these problems and people in the end.

    The trouble with that sort of cheery outlook is that the science may drive policies invented by the Fabian eugenicists of the Labour party – Homo Sovieticus writ large.

    If there were a cure for narcissistic personality disorder, then where on earth would we find political candidates?

  56. 56
    SP4BS says:

    I can’t be bothered going into the slight gerrymandering of all this, but at least we (? well I do?) know that its the total figure. housing, travel, paper clips, staff.

    What is the 26 grand? I guess thats the living allowance. Almost everyone gets within a few hundred quid of maxing that one out.

  57. 57
    the savant says:

    i ve said it before …. bear with me …. this Robber Moreofit bloke looks like a banker — spelt with a different initial consonant

  58. 58
    SP4BS says:

    Perhaps milli spends 90k a year on staff to field questions from his constituents, so they don’t have to.

    Err hold on. thats what they all do isn’t it even if they bother turning up to the HoC (bars)

  59. 59
    Time 2 CTRL, ALT & DEL says:

    i wish he hadn’t turned up for the past 20 years – we would have been so better off

  60. 60
    jaque coustea says:

    people shouldn’t even get the vote unless they have a higher qualification in a numerate discipline

  61. 61
    Former Naval Person says:

    Handycock comes to mind…

  62. 62
    Anonymous says:

    That bastard Milipede once crashed into me outside the Red lion. Not looking where he was going. Spilt my pint and sent me reeling. The Hunt didn’t even break step to apologise

  63. 63
    Alex says:

    You know Guido’s touched a nerve when the two resident trolls start spinning out of control.

    Still, far more acceptable than MK posting racist jokes about Mrs Murdoch.

  64. 64
    Mark Oaten MP says:


  65. 65
    Mercian says:

    Why aren’t they prosecuted for theft or fraud?

  66. 66

    Because they is MP’s. Law and honesty and decency is just for the little folks not the MP’s

  67. 67
    Over a Glass Darkly says:

    Maybe someone should ask their constituents what they think of this? Intrigued to know.

  68. 68
    gordon brownstain says:

    there’s shit in your mouth

  69. 69
    gordon brownstain says:

    fuck off shitstain

  70. 70

Seen Elsewhere

Stuart Broad Right, Peston Broadly Wrong | Ryan Bourne
The 38 Seats in England Yet to Select a Tory Candidate | ConHome
Labour and Green Ecofascism | Matthew Walsh
Burnham Shows Why Labour Can’t Be Trusted | Speccie
Why Online Voting is a Crap Idea | Ballot Box
Time We Showed Super Rich Some Love | Alice Thomson
We Need True Popular Capitalism | Maurice Saatchi
Labour’s Winning Hand | Sebastian Shakespeare
We Defend Labour’s Record | John Hutton and Alan Milburn
100 Tories to Rebel on Plain Packs | Telegraph
May 2015 and the Art of Political Betting | MAY2015

Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Alan Milburn says Labour’s scaremongering campaign for an unreformed NHS will not win election…

“It would be a fatal mistake, in my view, for Labour to go into this election looking as though it is the party that would better resource the National Health Service but not necessarily put its foot to the floor when it comes to reforming. Look, reforms are not easy, but the Labour Party is not a conservative party. It should be about moving things forward not preserving them in aspic. You have got a pale imitation actually of the 1992 general election campaign, and maybe it will have the same outcome. I don’t know.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,715 other followers