September 6th, 2012

Guidogram Going Out Shortly

The Guidogram round-up of the week is going out shortly.

Thousands of Westminster insiders read the Guidogram, everyone from Downing Street insiders to Fleet Street never miss it. Politics is back with a bang as Dave shuffles his pack. Don’t miss out on all the latest comings and goings.

Join the conspiracy and become a subscriber to the Guidogram, free, to keep in the loop. You’re either in front of Guido, or behind…


  1. 1
    Fuck off, B1llbo says:

    B1lly Blowjob, aka Kebab Time, will be refreshing his inbox nonstop till he gets it, and will then resume posting 10 million hours straight.

  2. 2
    IQ 100 says:

    Minister for Transport’s first job is to add more carriages to the gravy train

  3. 3
    Venu says:

    the more you look at this government the more it looks like hitler’s germany

    so long democracy

    all privatised and in the hands of the few the good ship britannia SUNK TODAY

  4. 4
    Mark Oaten says:

    I’m behind.

  5. 5

    “It takes a great deal of courage to be a burglar and a thief.”

    I seem to remember their used to be someone in the public eye who was an expert on courage…

  6. 6
    Ed Dummyband LOTO says:

    Ed Miliband’s pre-distribution / predistribution multiple choice test. No credible answers from Labour though

  7. 7
    Herr Lipp says:

    Your poontuation eet ztinks.

  8. 8
    All Good Things Come to an E says:

    A bit more PC and hopeless than that. I’d prefer Sabine Bergmann-Pohl’s Deutsche Demokratische Republik

  9. 9
    Mr Speaker says:

    So am I.

  10. 10
    Sir William Waad says:

    ……..or beneath Guido, or beside Guido, or above Guido, or diagonally opposite Guido…….

  11. 11
    A Person of Middling Stature says:

    You are short to be the big I am.

  12. 12
    An Archbishop says:

    ‘with but not of’ Guido

  13. 13
    Guidometer says:

    or behind the eight ball for all we know

  14. 14
    gramma says:

    Just a life of comings and goings eh Mark

  15. 15
    annette curton says:

    If one person was stood at the North pole and a Guido was stood at the South pole… (both taken as being on standard Greenwich Mean Time), discuss!.

  16. 16
    Dave says:

    To be fair SC posts more than Kebab Time although I know what you mean.

  17. 17
    Forkbender says:

    Dave is always shuffling about

  18. 18
    Forkbender says:

    Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends always shunting about complete with the Fat Controller

  19. 19
    Forkbender says:

    At least that nasty grumpy Gordon is nowhere to be seen, probably rusting on some side line

  20. 20
    Forkbender says:

    They would be very cold

  21. 21
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Mind who owns this blog when you use expressions like the “Fat Controller”; some little boys may have grown up wanting to be Sir Topham Hatt. I mention no names.

  22. 22
    National Socialist says:

    I’m off to extend my chicken coops. Can’t guarantee to create any new jobs though

  23. 23
    Anonymous says:

    Gideon: ‘I say Dave old chap, slow down, there’s another whopping great U turn on the horizon’

    Dithering Dave: ‘What another… we’ll be disappearing up one’s own bottoms that this rate’

    Gideon U don’t turn if you want to… the Coalition’s not for straight lines

    Dithering Dave: Rah… Rah… Rah!

  24. 24
    Disgusted Blue says:

    We are in an age of mass unemployment.

    There are young people who have never had a job.

    Therefore we must force the terminally ill and the chronically sick into the jobs market.

    Only a person divorced from their basic humanity could implement such a decision.

    And don’t try to tell me that the country can’t afford to look after the sick. There is plenty of money in this society.

  25. 25
    Disgusted Blue says:

    I have been a right of centre conservative for most of my adult life.

    But the behaviour of the Bullingdon boys disgusts me

  26. 26
    annette curton says:

    A very disappointing reply for your PHD coursework.

  27. 27
    Educated person says:

    I note the comment from Matthew Parrish on the right hand side:
    “…not so much like rearranging the deckchairs on the Titanic as rearranging the sun-loungers on an increasingly aimless cruise around the Aegean.”
    It’s such a pity that, behind that paywall, most of us are deprived of his intelligent comments. And if they won’t drop it, can’t he find somewhere else to regain his audience?

  28. 28
    Educated person says:

    See, it’s been so long I’ve even forgotten his surname…

  29. 29
    81IIy 8owden i5 7he gre@test ump1re ever ! says:

    i was the best posteringer on this websight but then i was bannered – its no’t fair

  30. 30
  31. 31
    do me a favour says:

    Far worse unemployment rates in Eurozone countries and the U.S.

  32. 32
    Anonymous says:

    You’re not fooling anyone.
    You’re a predictable red.

  33. 33
    just an idea says:

    You could try buying the paper?

  34. 34
    Ed Millibandwagon says:

    Can I pre-distribute some coffee to anyone?

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UKIP’s Youth Challenge | BBC
ISIS Operative: This Is How We Send Jihadis To Europe | BuzzFeed
Shapps Defends Bashir Defection | Seb Payne
Tory Leadership Contenders Jostle Over Europe | Alex Wickham
Cutting Taxes is Good For You | Art Laffer
Suspects Will Now Have to Prove Innocence | Laura Perrins
Labour Cllr: Cops Shouldn’t Stop Petrol Thieves | HandF Forum
Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath

Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

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