September 5th, 2012

Third Runway By-Election for Boris?

Boris has refused to rule out standing in a by-election in order to oppose the government on Heathrow expansion from within the House. With Dave failing to meet the London Mayor’s demand to permanently reject plans for a third runway at Heathrow at PMQs, BoJo told the World at One he would lead the opposition if the government u-turns.

Because that’s the only reason why Boris would be interested in a by-election…


55 Comments

  1. 1
    Jeremy Hunt's Bell-End says:

    My department has only killed 2058 old people since I took charge, that’s two less than the same day last week.

  2. 2
    jgm2 says:

    Boris Island might be a good strategy as well as a sensible planning decision. The Heathrow area has been ethnically enriched to the point that there are no T*ry MPs to be had in expanding the place. It’ll be a straight race between the postal Labour votes and postal Respect votes for the foreseeable future.

    On the other hand siting a nice new airport out where the white folk live might just create enough jobs to swing a few seats the T*ries way.

  3. 3
    SP4BS says:

    I guess he has a lot of voters under those flight paths.

  4. 4
    Andy Burnham, the face of L'Oreal says:

    This never happened under Labour.

  5. 5
    Steve Miliband says:

    Why don’t they use the Top Gear track?

  6. 6
    Louise Mensch says:

    Now you can understand why I couldn’t serve under David Cameron.

    He’s a cock,and I mean that most sincerely.

  7. 7
    jgm2 says:

    Does the Queen get a vote?

  8. 8
    SP4BS says:

    I still wonder how much it would cost to get all those road and rail links onto the magical island.

  9. 9
    Plod says:

    If you draw baggage handlers from white areas there are less missing luggage claims, funny that innit?

  10. 10
    Jimmy says:

    So to recap, the Tories ruled out expanding capacity at the last election. Boris believes expansion is necessary. The government now agrees with him so he’s attacking them.

    If anything he seems overqualified for the leadership.

  11. 11
    jgm2 says:

    That’s nothing. You should try and get your head around their idea of ‘cuts’.

  12. 12
    American Tourist says:

    Why did they build Windsor Castle under the Heathrow flight path?

  13. 13
    SP4BS says:

    you simplify to make it sound sillier. its quite easy really:

    “If there is expansion, it should be Me Island”

  14. 14
    Nick Clegg says:

    Imagine if Boris took the reigns of the Labour chariot simply to spite Dave… we can only dream.

  15. 15
    jgm2 says:

    I bet Brown wishes he’d thought of that. Fuck aircraft carrier contracts for buying votes. A big fuck-off airport on ‘reclaimed land’ in the middle of the Forth.

    Brown Island. And he could see it from his house too.

    He’ll be kicking himself.

  16. 16
    Ship of Fools says:

    Run, Boris, run…

  17. 17
    jgm2 says:

    Reins. Holy Christ.

  18. 18
    Living in 98 percent white Merseyside says:

    Anyone who’d think Bojo would make a good PM must be loonier than the Loony Left!

  19. 19
    jgm2 says:

    The loony left think Ed Miliband (or Ed Balls) would make a good PM.

    If it’s a straight choice between either of the Neds or Boris then Boris would walk it. Mind you, there are amoeba on Mars who would make better PMs than Ned Balls.

  20. 20
    Andy Crematesham says:

    Except for this little incident we only killed the average amout of old folk

    http://bit.ly/pbFOFu

  21. 21
    Steve Miliband says:

    Why not adapt the new aircraft carriers, HMS Gerry and HMS Mandering so that they can land 747’s? Then park them in the Thames

  22. 22
    SP4BS says:

    Perhaps if he did call it “Me island” he’d sound a bit more “coronation street” and gain far more popularity up north.

  23. 23
    Louise Ubermensch says:

    And by that I mean he dared to give it back. That troll. Only I should be allowed to abuse people like a dog.

  24. 24
    Pundit too too says:

    Mr Bojangles was not so beligerent on radio 4 News at One.
    According to the BBC he is screaming blue murder over Heathrow runway 3 but on air or probably TV he has a more reasoned approach.
    Bring Back Communism is biased and still trying to muddy the water in the Coalition, make a mountain of a molehill, while giving Labour a very soft touch?
    Who would ever have thought it?

  25. 25
    Omoeba throughout the galaxy says:

    That is a disgusting slur on me, and all the others wherever they are.

  26. 26
    Vimeiro says:

    Because planning rules were so slack in those days.

  27. 27
    Cleggy for King. says:

    I will reign inviolate in the EU and never release the reins of power, even if it rains cats and dogs.

  28. 28
    a non says:

    Sabre rattling! As much as I appreciate Boris for both his drive and humour I very much doubt he would follow through his threat. Obviously flattered to be regarded as the prime future candidate to take over from Dave, he would be entering into the same dilemmas that presently beset Cameron should he renage on his own promises too. While realising being Mayor of London is not as senior as attaining that of PM, to quit the mayoral post would provide ammunition to his opponents to question his trustworthiness for the future.
    Besides Heathrow 3 appears to be a bit of a red herring in itself with anywhere but London looking more suitable, and perhaps the whole reason for debating this important issue is to ease the pain of the locals who will eventually gain this valuable ‘asset’.

  29. 29
    Anonymous says:

    He’s the wrong kind of loony

  30. 30
    a non says:

    Sabre rattling! As much as I appreciate Boris for both his dr i ve and humour I very much doubt he would follow through his threat. Obviously flattered to be regarded as the prime future candidate to take over from Dave, he would be entering into the same dilemmas that presently beset Cameron should he renage on his own promises too. While realising being Mayor of London is not as senior as attaining that of PM, to quit the mayoral post would provide ammunition to his opponents to question his trustworthiness for the future.
    Besides Heathrow 3 appears to be a bit of a red herring in itself with anywhere but London looking more suitable, and perhaps the whole reason for debating this important issue is to ease the pain of the locals who will eventually gain this valuable ‘asset’.

  31. 31
    Anonymous says:

    Apparently Michael Fallon claimed on Newsnight, unchallenged, that Lansley’s move to Leader of the House was ‘promotion’!!!!

    Fallon is the ‘Comical Ali’ of the coalition, able to come out with the most ridiculous up-is-down statements with a straight face. Liar doesn’t do it justice, he’s a genius of fantasy.

  32. 32
    AC1 says:

    Big vote loser for Boris. Especially as the economy continues to degrade thanks to Osbourne’s lack of tax cuts.

  33. 33
    Anonymous says:

    Simply just fuck right off Dave, you and the Tories will be consigned to the dustbin of history. Let the people decide what government they want. You tossers have overstayed your welcome. Unwanted Un-elected Cabinet of Morons will be booed wherever they go. The next reaction from the public will probably be not as civil as hissing and booing. The saddest part is that you shits don’t even realise it, sitting in your cocoon of superiority, until the brown stuff hits the fan.

  34. 34
    Archer Karcher says:

    They’re already there bar the last five miles, A2 / M2, A224, A249 Isle of Sheppey and Isle of Grain dual carriageways and A13 all linking to the M25. Plus fast rail link at Ebbisfleet and rail link to Grain via Gravesend could easily be upgraded to join up fast link.

  35. 35
    AC1 says:

    Why not do all three?

    Boris Island Airport.
    3Rd runway at Heathrow.
    2Nd Runway at Gatwick + Third Terminal.

  36. 36
    Anonymous says:

    It’s the beginning of the end for spineless weasel Cameron.

  37. 37
    horehound says:

    no building,more dithering

  38. 38
    dogsled says:

    Because the inbreds of Cranleigh don’t even want budget-priced housing there let alone a bunch of Jumbos.

  39. 39
    dogsled says:

    Whats that coming over the hill? Is it a Boris? IS IT A BORIS????

  40. 40
    splendid exasperation there says:

    lol!

  41. 41
    It's all Thatcher's Fault says:

    Unless it’s Liverpool of course!

  42. 42
    It's all Thatcher's Fault says:

    Almost in Mandlebum’s class – but not quite!

  43. 43
    Some Twat up North says:

    With Boris involved should’nt it be called “Love Island”

  44. 44
    Snaplegs says:

    thats the most sensible thing said about the subject in ages

    Gets my vote

  45. 45
    Ho hum says:

    You clearly have lots of Monopoly money to spare! Check out the money tree at No 10 too.

  46. 46
    Ho hum says:

    So Aer Lingus pilots would be able to find the airport.

  47. 47
    Rayne Wuney says:

    Can you hold the reins of my reindeer while I go for a quick rain? Tqvm

  48. 48
    Chopper chap says:

    Cue that ancient ‘joke’ about the D of E up in a helicopter opening the door and telling pilot “If I can’t rain over them, I can at least pee over them”.

  49. 49
    robbie says:

    Well of course he’s right- we don’t need a third runway, nor a Boris island-just more night landings-you can shove the EasyJet2RyanLingus traffic into those slots.

  50. 50
    Don't Wait Around says:

    Boris Island is the most sensible long term solution to airport capacity.

  51. 51
    Nic Niewart says:

    Cheaper than having to constantly repair the M4 and all its silly approaches. Two lanes for the only road to the west, and the largest airport in Europe. (that’s only if a truck hasn’t broken down or an Albanian Olympic judge isn’t being chauffered in a special lane)

  52. 52
    Nic Niewart says:

    Very clever those Everest people- 18ft thick walls keeps the peasants. the draughts, and the noise out. You only inherit a castle once, then inherit the best. Of course, you realise it’s not really theirs, they’re just looking after it for us all. So kind of them.

  53. 53
    Old Grumpy says:

    Heathrow is already not fit for purpose. A third runway will do no good!

    Boris Island is a no-goer. The WIDTH required would just about fill the Estuary.

    Gatwick needs better communications connections, while Stansted is just too far out into the sricks (and rubbish connections).

    What we need is a new airport, no more than 25 miles from the City and on MAJOR land routes……….. Like Slough, or Stoke Poges………. what about between Basildon and Upminster!

  54. 54
    Anonymous says:

    Had an awful dream last night: Boris smears his opponents to get the Tory nomination for the next safe seat by election. Wins by a landslide and puts himself in a position to oust Dave and sweep to victory in the next general election on a tide of personality. I know it was a dream because Boris is far too committed to Londoners to do anything so self serving……

  55. 55
    Anonymous says:

    Surely Boris wouldnt stand as an MP ?i would have thought his interesting private life would rule him out ,hes ok as a joke Mayor (to a point) i mean, how many injunctions is it now.


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