September 5th, 2012

London Met Visa Protest Backfires


262 Comments

  1. 1
    Kebab Time says:

    Education, education, education…..

  2. 2
    Gary Elsby Stoke says:

    The problem is, that the above student studies at Cambridge.

  3. 3
    Raving Loon says:

    Isn’t that just Scottish?

  4. 4
    New Town Toff, Edinburgh says:

    “Hands oof our university”. Perhaps he’s South African and is writing coloquially.

  5. 5
    Bob Crow says:

    Where is da spellings and grummatical mistakings?

  6. 6
    Egg soldiers says:

    I just noticed a comment I posted yesterday has been made Comment of the Day. I’m very chuffed. Cheers, Guido!!

  7. 7
    London Met student says:

    Fuck oof!

  8. 8
    Call me a Fag Cameron says:

    You sound rather butch. Fancy a bunk up?

  9. 9
    SP4BS says:

    I went to university a long time ago, a time when there were polys, a time when there weren’t many highly lucrative overseas students, their government’s wallets welcomed. Some of them spoke pretty crappy english.

  10. 10
    Charlie Brown says:

    “Case and point”???

    We all make mistakes, but not ideal when pointing out others mistakes…

  11. 11
    Bob Crow says:

    I spake inglish rite propar and fing, innit?

  12. 12
    David Cameron (Leader of the Nasty Party) says:

    As my speeches are pure shit,I asked Michelle Obama to give a speech at Conference.

    Michelle declined !!

  13. 13
    Lord Prescott says:

    Of that which is the point in terms of being that you said but of which I must say and be absolutely essential in clarifying of the point at hand which I can’t agree with but yes.

  14. 14
    [insert name here] says:

    To be fair, that sign was probably put together by someone from UKUncut.

  15. 15
    Al Campbell says:

    Should have just threatened to send her to Harrowden Hills. Always worked for us.

  16. 16
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    ‘Case and point’? Isn’t it ‘case in point’? Did you get a London Met lecturer to do that? They’re even worse than most of the students.

  17. 17
  18. 18
    Ed Boy says:

    Nope, it’s been written by the Clown Toff on BBC’s Bargain Hunt, who repeatedly talks in pre Edwardian toffspeak saying “orff” of “oof”……….thus perfecting the BBC worldview on social class

  19. 19
    JH says:

    Hands oof.

    How in fucks name can someone be incapable of spelling ‘off’?

    As if the lose/loose thing is not annoying enough.

  20. 20
    Spellchecker says:

    Shh he’s just corrected it. I wont say anything if you dont.

  21. 21
    Double ahead says:

    Big Al, have you been tutoring Grant Shapps in Blairs mannerisms and speech? He’s almost the spitting image of that charlatan.

  22. 22
    Macca says:

    Michelle, she’s my belle.

  23. 23
    Dianne Abbet says:

    Morans.

  24. 24
    Backdoor Boy says:

    It made me laugh when some African guy was on tv saying he had spent 40k there and was being deported.

    Spent 40k studying what?

    I think he had been taken for a ride to say the least.

  25. 25
    Fitbad the Tailor says:

    Or colloquially, even.

  26. 26
    Knob jockey says:

    But not below the waist.

  27. 27
    Jimmy says:

    In other reshuffle news Willy Hague is joined at the FCO by fellow Cashcroft errand boy David Simmonds who it appears will be responsble for overseeing all the embarrassing corruption investigations in the Caribbean, as Henry Bellingham, who hitherto has been the responsible minister, has been sacked. His Lordship will be pleased.

  28. 28
    Forkbender says:

    No their have it wrong a toff spells as they pronounce eg they say “Orf” so they say orf, they insert letters in words that aren’t there, the foreigners think that is how things are spelt, they listen to upper class Oxbidge types and such like.

  29. 29
    John Prescott says:

    On behalf of the Peer Realm and the Lib-Lab Pact, I just want to expressicate my incrudoliment at this nastier sluration of our foreigner visitations and their Englishe. It’s as racist as you can get and quit frankly, I have had just about enough as well of all these Torries attacking me for my past as a ship’s stewardess and for my standardisations of Englishe specking. That’s racist as well. It’s high-time the Torries abandonment all this racist nonsense and accept that we now live in an Age of Change which Ed talked about last week where everyone is the same and we all live together happily every afternoon. Here in Hull we are becoming more and more multicatteral and multirascal and that reflectations what is going on in the rest of the country and this is the way the world is and what is going on in the Age of Change and you all need to listening to Gordon and Ed and understand that butt in the end the persons will decide and that is how the systematically wonks.

  30. 30
    Ill Met by daylight says:

    I was at uni with someone who had transferred from London Met. When I asked why she’d left London Met, she said it’s a bad sign when the lecturers and tutors have worse spelling than the students.

  31. 31

    You can now join the hundreds of “Z” list celebs waiting for a phone call from a reality show.

  32. 32
    Forkbender says:

    Well some foreigners can not pronouce our words, but by they must have a laugh listening to an Englishman in their own country

  33. 33
    Forkbender says:

    Esturine

  34. 34
    David Minibanana says:

    By contrast, my speeches are fantastic.

  35. 35
    The BBC are cunts says:

    Isn’t that Red Ed ?

  36. 36
    Jimmy says:

    Sorry, Mark, not David. My bad.

  37. 37
    Edinburgh arseholes can go and fuck themselves says:

    Good Old Holborn

  38. 38
    Education, Edyerkayshun, Eddyookaashun says:

    Celebrate thirteen glorious years of dumbing down ! #TheReignofTerror1997-2010

  39. 39
    Forkbender says:

    No you speak cockeny

  40. 40
    M'lud says:

    Hunts speaking Huntish, I think.

  41. 41
    Jimmy the Dhimmi says:

    Clearly, the drugs don’t work.

  42. 42
    A spokesperson for one of the most glorious ‘universities’ (sic) ever created says:

    Hi! I am a spokesperson for one of the most curious universities ever created! And that University is, – wait for it, – the one at the centre of this thread.

    Now what can I say? Firstly I want to say that we are in desperate need of friends. Secondly I want to say that we are in desperate need of money. Thirdly we are in desperate need of students who speak and write superb English. Actually, – very few of the staff do that, – do we get by.

    Anyway, – we are very good at what we do and should receive huge subsidies and stuff like that! It would be really cool if you could help us!

  43. 43
    Jog on. Nazi Yoof says:

    I am sick fed up with thick students and their nazi camps called Universities.

  44. 44
    annette curton says:

    Abu hands OOF?.

  45. 45
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Bit rich coming from someone who’s always asking “Why is everybody always picking on ME?”

  46. 46
    Archer Karcher says:

    Your obsession with ‘toffs’ is most revealing, it’s almost pathological. Did you endure a disturbed childhood?

  47. 47
    Pizza Delivery Boy says:

    i waitteded til yor done ‘for i knockt on’t door.

  48. 48
    Forkbender says:

    They might have been high on something like what call me Dave smoked but did not inhale. How anyone smokes that rubbish I don’t know, the smell of the stuff is enough to put anyone off and the smell stays on their clothes.

  49. 49
    Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    Fancy haveing your hooter flatend just so you look slightly less of a wally.

  50. 50
    Forkbender says:

    Isn’t Romney one of those

  51. 51
    M'lud says:

    Or, more accurately, (modbots excepted) “c*nts speaking C*ntish”

  52. 52
    Spinal damage says to Edinburgh student arseholes. Get on your bike. says:

    Plus, they don’t know how to apologise let alone spell it. Ignorant and irresponsible arseholes.

  53. 53
    jgm2 says:

    Don’t blame yourself. Blame whoever sent you ‘the line to take’ and got the name wrong in the first place.

  54. 54
    Forkbender says:

    Is wee Davey trying to get back in the good books of Lord Ashcroft

  55. 55
    His Lardship John Prescott says:

    Oh, fook this noise anyway about mangorling the Queen’s Engerlish, I’ve got a half-dozen buckets of KFC waiting for me! Ta, you bloody borin’ bar stewards! (Oh wait, did I say “bar stewards”?)

  56. 56
    jgm2 says:

    In Bob’s case it’s just speaks pure cock.

  57. 57
    Hitler's Yoof says:

    Total Mongs.

  58. 58
    Ferret says:

    My wife had the misfortune to work at another London ‘University’ that is basically run by the Russian mafia. Majority foreigners who can’t speak English. Many no shows for lectures. They even lowered the pass mark for the MBAs to 20% and still had to bump students up. Pressure to pass students was nothing short of intimidation.

  59. 59
    Jimmy says:

    How dare you. He was completely exonerated by the DEA.

  60. 60
    Snoopy says:

    Lay off Charlie Brown. He’s the greatest moral philosopher ever, and he gives me peanuts.

  61. 61
    Forkbender says:

    The lecturers and tutors would be about same age as Guido

  62. 62
    jgm2 says:

    It didn’t work. He still looks and sounds like a nerd.

  63. 63
    Jimmy says:

    I have a feeling Willy pushed for this one.

  64. 64
    jgm2 says:

    An MBA was always a comedy degree no matter where you got it from.

  65. 65
    Anonymous says:

    Dooh, Aye coom from oop north.

  66. 66
    Charlie Brown says:

    It’s like the ‘should of thought’ instead of ‘should have thought’ syndrome. They’ve been educated in the comprehensive system and therefore never really thought about the language they are using.

  67. 67
    Hitler's Yoof says:

    They do not know what fuck off means.

  68. 68
    Educated person says:

    Your bad what? You seem to have missed out the end of the sentence. Or did you mean ‘my error’, ‘my mistake’ or one of the many alternatives in our wonderful language.

  69. 69
    annette curton says:

    Edinburgh Festival.

  70. 70
    Ed Sillyband says:

    Makes me look more Butch, the “Ricky Hatton” look…

  71. 71
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    You can almost hear the wanking at the BBC over Michelle O’Bummers speech.

    Of course more women vote Democrat just as women here vote Nu Labia, they get the handouts men are taxed to death for.

  72. 72
    Kebab Thyme says:

    LOL LOL LOL LOL More like London Shit University!!! Am I right???

  73. 73
    Egg soldiers says:

    Thanks.

  74. 74
    Too Many Already says:

    “Bored of” instead of “bored with”

    That pisses me off but 90% of the fucking proles that inhabit these benighted isles don’t even know it is incorrect.

    “Tired Of” or “Bored With” FFS.

  75. 75
    Margaret Moran says:

    I’m depressed.

  76. 76
    Gooey Blob says:

    …a nerd who makes Ed Balls’ tea. Labour have no chance while those two are leading the party, their poll ratings are nowhere near where they should be mid-way into an austerity government.

  77. 77
    Poly Math says:

    I went to the University of Neasden, formerly Allied Carpets Poly.

  78. 78
    Blooming Hell says:

    Fucking hell can’t even go to France without getting shot up these days.

  79. 79
    Gooey Blob says:

    There are a few on the left who have difficulty with spelling, but in my experience a larger number seem to have trouble adding up.

  80. 80
    God's Holy Trousers says:

    You’re not wrong.

  81. 81
    Jimmy says:

    On reflection the least you deserve is a verb. Fuck off then.

  82. 82
    annette curton says:

    Mac Bethany:
    Too-morow, and too-morow, and too-morow,
    CREEPS in this pRetty pace from day to day,
    To the last sylblee of recorded time;
    And all our day befors have lighted stools
    The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief kIndle!
    Life’s but a caulking shadow, a poRE player,
    That strums and frets his hour upon the stag,
    And then is heard no. It is a tale
    Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
    Signifying something.

  83. 83
    Drop a daisy cutter on David Cameron says:

    Owzat !

    Your number’s up Dave.

  84. 84
    Anonymous says:

    Having had the dubious pleasure of working with a couple of MBA holders, I remain in total awe of the courses’ ability to suppress the holders’ common sense. The people concerned were undoubtedly intelligent to a high degree, and very competent at using completely impenetrable jargonese, but almost totally incapable of seeing the blindingly obvious.

    The worrying thing is that so many senior managers swallow the guff they spout without apparently thinking about it.

    They’d do very well in politics, most of ‘em. They’d have got us into the current economic mess far quicker than even Broon’s Loons did.

  85. 85
    Anonymous says:

    As a country we need to be open. Most students come to this country to work and live here. We have thousands of useless course in this country.

    Government should either let them in to come and live here or should stay they will not be allowed to work at all.

    Also when illegal immigrants are caught they should never be given bail. At the moment they are given bail and they are lost again. Spending money to catch them is waste of money.

  86. 86
    H@rryC0le says:

    Like this blog?

  87. 87
    keredybretsa says:

    Lika finka dat isa super! Innit?

  88. 88
    anonymous says:

    C’UNT CAMERON SAYS HIS PARTY HAS GONE MAD

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/9523545/David-Cameron-made-three-ministers-cry-when-he-sacked-them.html

    HE’S RIGHT IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE

  89. 89
    no such client says:

    I don’t think “then” is a verb, I think “fuck off” is the verb

  90. 90
    Anonymous says:

    English is not the problem. Problem is, them working here and when allowed to live here bring their families and claiming benefits.

    Even if they come here for a waste of time course, doesn’t work and go back when visa ends no one will care.

  91. 91
    think of the children says:

    borrowed £40k and had no intention of ever paying it back, more like

  92. 92
    Anonymous says:

    London Metropolitan “University” formerly the Polytechnic of North London.

  93. 93
    Anonymous says:

    What education, if you don’t turn up to study.

    It will be better to say Work, Work, Work.

  94. 94
    The BBC says:

    “Pacific tsunami alert issued after strong quake in Costa Rica is cancelled”

  95. 95
    Louise "Lesley Gore" Mensch says:

    It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to,cry if I want to.

    You would do too if it happened to you.

  96. 96
    jgm2 says:

    My missus, in a ‘keeping up with the Joneses’ manner at work once got a subscription to the Harvard Business Review. Wannabe types would send each other e-mails ‘Have you seen the article in HBR on ‘Virtual Teams…’ etc etc so she thought she’d better at least be able to reply.

    Naturally enough I read it to see what kind of insight was coming from the research establishment of the University with the finest post-graduate business reputation on the planet.

    I’ve seen better insight on Sesame Street. Facile does not begin to describe it. Self-evident doesn’t do it justice. Utter fucking dross.

    We unsubscribed.

  97. 97
    @ontablets says:

    Happy Birthday to Freddy Mercury.

  98. 98
    Jack Straw says:

    ‘Maths is not my strongpoint….’

  99. 99
    Owen Jones aged 14 and a half says:

    Fak oof you tore twatz. I woz ejukated in stait skool and am a brill writer.

  100. 100
    edyoukashun, educashion, edukatiun says:

    Hahahaha, Kebab Time doesn’t seem to get the idea that you’re supposed to spell ‘education’ wrongly for comic effect, the dopey cuпt.

  101. 101
    Dragonfly says:

    Classic.

  102. 102
    Chap holdingplukard says:

    It was my profesor what wrot the plukard.

  103. 103
    moose limbs says:

    Wii knead mor yoonees like dis innit bro

  104. 104
    David Starkey, Looks Good In Khaki says:

    The really critical point about all this is that I look rather fetching in khaki, and you’re all jealous.

    If we were living in the time of Henry VIII, I would be feted for my khaki fetish rather than castigated. That’s how it was in medieval England. Men like myself who wear their khaki suits well were in high esteem. Not like now with all this crudity disguised as dress sense.

    Oh yes!

    Oh, and Paxman is a knob jockey!

  105. 105
    8illy Bumlington says:

    Oh yes, I’m a great big bender,
    I’m bending all of the time,
    My need is such,
    That I bend too much,
    I’m lonely but no one can tell

  106. 106
    anonymous says:

    play itload, the sound is music to my ears

  107. 107
    Piers Who? says:

    It might have been worse, the sign could have said “HAND’S OFF OUR UNIVERSITY”. As any paid-up member of the apostrophe police would tell you, that’s an offence worthy of instant deportation.

  108. 108
    Geronimo says:

    That sounds very posh to me – you sure its not the Queen?

  109. 109
    nellnewman says:

    He was one of the few Greats Bill.

  110. 110
    Blowing Whistles says:

    I dont understand a thing thats going on here but I will post somthing to show everyone I am clever.

  111. 111
    nellnewman says:

    I understood one of the reasons the London Metropolitan Uni lost the right to sponsor international students was because a suspiciously large percentage of those students accepted and given visas disappe@red into the UK urban hinterland never to see a classroom.

    Money was changing hands somewhere.

  112. 112
    Schroeder says:

    I can’t wait to have a tinkle.

  113. 113
    nellnewman says:

    Leftwing booing at the Paralympics has become endemic – balls and his make maguire of the mirror are positively encouraging it. It is appallingly sad for the competitors who have worked so hard for their medals and it is disastrous for militwit and his leftwing as it completely undermines their claims about supporting the disabled.

    The fact that militwit and the leftwing are using the Paralympics as a political shop window through which to boo is disgusting!

  114. 114
    Hohann Jari says:

    Fuck Freddie Mercury

  115. 115
    Dave E Crockett says:

    Fort not.

  116. 116
    Anonymous says:

    naah, more like benefits, benefits, benefits… followed by jihad, jihad, jihad, honour killings, ‘affirmative action’ and increasing numbers of no-go areas for the IP.

    Coming to a town near you circa 2003.

  117. 117
    David Beckham says:

    H@rry C0le cuпt spell despite going to a posh skool.

  118. 118
    Douwe Ed Milliband says:

    I fully thupport the thitizen of this countwy booing Geroge Othborne. I thall ensure thith is carried on when I mithspeak thomething.

  119. 119
    jgm2 says:

    I think that’s what did for him in the end.

  120. 120
    Frankie Taliban Boyle - apostrophe Nazi says:

    We’d ensure they don’t have any hand’s alway’s

  121. 121
    nellnewman says:

    I have no idea where you get that statistic from but I’m sure it can’t be right!!

    Women are far more intelligent and self sufficient and hardworing than men and consequently less of them will be voting for leftwing politicians.

  122. 122
    nellnewman says:

    I thought it was drugs jgm.

    But his music was fantastic and lives on.

  123. 123
    Fred Goodwin says:

    I was a fellow of the Institute of Wankers but could not keep it up.

  124. 124
    Little old Lady for Tooting Beck says:

    its normal Nel..odious bunch of fecking gits lefties are.

  125. 125
    Left wing Socialist fuckwit says:

    Durrr….dribble

  126. 126
    nellnewman says:

    LOL! well I did mean hardworking!!

  127. 127
    BS baffles Bollocks says:

    Your Engrish is pretty crap now.

  128. 128
    jgm2 says:

    hardworing

    hardworking or hardwhoring?

    I do believe that statistic. Wimmin might be hardworking but since, on average, they get paid less, they will, on average, not be too bothered if folk who are paid more get hit with higher taxes. Which is where Labour comes in.

  129. 129
    SaltPetre says:

    Piss-whiskers

  130. 130
    Living in 98 percent white Merseyside says:

    About 15 years I worked with a guy from India. He was at college but managed to work about 40 hours per week. I asked what he was studying and he answered Fashion Design. FFS Fashion Design! Even he couldn’t keep a straight face.

  131. 131
    nellnewman says:

    Oh and here comes Vaz demanding the London Metropolitan Uni’s rights to grant visas and courses to overseas students be restored!

    LOL!! Whoever would have expected him to have waded into this row?! ++tongue in cheek++

  132. 132
    Miss Lucille van Pelt says:

    Aww, go fly a kite!

  133. 133
    Anonymous says:

    His bottom fell off…

  134. 134
    nellnewman says:

    I do wonder jgm whether there is a statistic which says more women vote labour than tory.

    I can’t believe it – we want our children to do well, have a great education and get on in life. Why would we vote for labour party whose avowed intent is to get most folks onto benefits and dependent on the labour party?

  135. 135
    John Precott says:

    I am larding myself up to dance the pok pie rumba

  136. 136
    Living in 98 percent white Merseyside says:

    Do they make lampshades out of human skin then?

  137. 137
    ff says:

    Has Vaz got anything to do with Viz?

  138. 138
    Anonymous says:

    Just George Michael having a bonk.

  139. 139
    Anonymous says:

    I’m appalled that the left would hijack the Paralympics for their own political ends.

  140. 140
    Anonymous says:

    He can hold his own.

  141. 141
    Anonymous says:

    London Met Uni bosses were warned about their procedures months ago and took no notice.Other universities should also be examined.

  142. 142
    Living in 98 percent white Merseyside says:

    Back in the early 1980’s when jobs really began to be scarce we had several graduates with degrees come and work with us at the Post Office. Honestly they could not tell their arses from their elbows. However I do feel a bit sorry for them when they end up as sales assistants behind the counter at Waterstone’s probably earning just above the minimum wage.

  143. 143
    Boudicca says:

    Prescott is appearing with his wife on Mr and Mrs.
    Wouldn’t he be better suited to Mr and Mistress?

  144. 144
    Living in 98 percent white Merseyside says:

    Very few up here pay tax or NI.

    Sorry, correction. They get their NI contributions paid for them.

  145. 145
    Living in 98 percent white Merseyside says:

    What do you expect in Londistan?

  146. 146
    Lard Pressclott - Laughing Policeman in waiting says:

    Or Mrs & Fatness.

  147. 147
    if you prick me do i not bleed? says:

    Infected cock on tap is a kind of drug if you think about it.

  148. 148
    Fog on the Tyne says:

    disappeared into the turban hinterland?

  149. 149
    Living in 98 percent white Merseyside says:

    I don’t think George let it bother him one little bit. After all he is a man on a mission.

  150. 150
    jgm2 says:

    You might want your child to have a great education and get on in life but a great many people have been seduced by the ‘it’s not fair approach’ favoured by the bedwetters. All dressed up as ‘doing it for others’. And that plays to wimmin’s ‘softer’ side. Yes, love, that’s right. You want higher taxes – not for yourself of course – but for the ikkle childwen. So much more palatable than the naked truth which is ‘stealing it off others’.

    The Grauniad is full of bedwetter self-justification. ‘It’s not fair that I wasn’t born rich. If I was born rich I wouldn’t have to study hard. I wouldn’t have to work. I could be like Zac Goldsmith and gad about. And go to great schools. And have a Learjet. In fact there’s no point me even trying. Because I’ll never get that rich. So, rather than try I will vote to take money off ‘the rich’ and have it handed to me. Because that’s fair. ‘The Rich’ being defined as anybody who has/earns more money than me.’

    Because that’s only fair. The fact that Zac Goldsmith has an empty life because he hasn’t had to work to gain all these goodies never occurs to them. I can look at my (shitty) c*ar, house etc etc with pride and know that I, personally, earned all those things. No fucker handed it to me on a plate.

    It’s a matter of pride you see. And Labour have none. They’re just beggars and thieves looking to steal what others have. Because that’s ‘fair’. It’s the pykie mentality. They are the very thing they despise. They hate ‘the rich’ who have never had to work for their money. Then they create millions of benefit dependants who have… never had to work for their money. Because that’s ‘fair’. meanwhile it’s the ones in the middle who get arse-fucked paying for all this ‘fairness’.

  151. 151
    Gonk says:

    Khaki Starkey looks fucking brilliant in his “Egyptologist/prep school teacher” outfit.
    The left, in the saggy shape of Alan Yentob also have a uniform thing going. Almost exclusively Liberal-luvvie number with swarthy beardy jowly look. Well illustrated recently with his Ford madox Ford prog. I was ready to scream and bellow at the fucker but was denied by the programme and Yentob himself being quite brilliant.

  152. 152
    Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin ( Member in absentia ) says:

    Lightweight.

  153. 153
    Engineer says:

    How do you cancel a ‘strong quake’? If this ability to control earthquakes is a sudden and massive advance in science, how come it hasn’t been reported?

  154. 154
    Blowing Whistles says:

    I read Cameron Diaz Studies at University of Bolton.

  155. 155
    Geronimo says:

    What about Save the Children Fund opening food banks in the UK for starving British children!
    But contrast the Super-rich from overesas are flocking to London to buy expensive homes. How do they get a UK visa- brown envelopes perhaps?

  156. 156
    jgm2 says:

    do feel a bit sorry for them when they end up as sales assistants behind the counter at Waterstone’s probably earning just above the minimum wage.

    I don’t. It’s a ‘start’ as they used to say. Plenty of well-paid jobs higher up the food-chain in retail. Experience of handling cash. Experience of dealing with customers. Did these dopey fuckers really think that with 45% of people now going to ‘university’ that human evolution had taken a giant leap forward and they’d actually got that much smarter in the last twenty years? Ohhh, look at me. I’ve got a degree. Five A* at GCSE too. I’m a fucking genius I am.

    Twenty five or thirty years ago they’d have left school at sixteen with two GCSEs (grade C) and walked straight into the job at … Waterstones. The only difference now is that they’ve been hidden from the unemployment figures for five more years. Three of them at their own expense

  157. 157
    Anonymous says:

    Viz is funny and Vaz just a joke.

  158. 158
    B0t says:

    This place used to be good under the slimmer one…

  159. 159
    Tracey says:

    Just checked. That’s not Lard & Lardy Presclott. It’s Les Dawson & Roy Barraclough

  160. 160
    jgm2 says:

    What about Save the Children Fund opening food banks in the UK for starving British children!

    Child poverty is down under the T*ry government. Yet the ex-Labour guy who now fronts ‘Save the Children’ chooses the opening day of parliament to announce food banks in the UK.

    Go figure.

    Cameron should set the Charity Commission on the fuckers.

  161. 161
    Gonk says:

    Someone must be paying him to say this sort of stuff.

  162. 162
    Engineer says:

    At least in the 1980’s they would probably have graduated in a subject with some use. They’d have been as clueless as school-leavers at first, but no doubt they learned pretty quickly. Modern graduates with good degrees in solid subjects will be the same; the ones with a 2-2 in Arabic Dance and Flower Arranging are the ones to feel sorry for – they’ve been conned, big style. Their degree is worth less than an Oh-level; the university would have known that, the tutors would have known that and prospective employers will know that, but some numpty in their bog-standard comprehensive would have told them that a degree – any degree – will guarantee unlimited success and happiness ever after. The University won’t care, because it paid for giving someone a certificate. The tutors won’t care because they got paid for teaching some crap. The prospective employers will care a bit, but will still employ someone else instead.

    Criminal.

  163. 163
    UKIP.i.am.awake says:

    Why more women vote Labour.

    “Two thirds of public sector employees are now women

    In the last decade 90% of new jobs taken by women have been in the
    public sector

    Teachers and nurses are overwhelmingly female, so are school support staff”

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/8555358.stm

  164. 164
    J Prescott says:

    I am having Bellend augmentation surgery

  165. 165
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    You don’t need education, look at me, I’ve had none and haven’t done too bad, nor have my boys in Portsmouth and they haven’t got any either. Jahbulon.

  166. 166
    nellnewman says:

    Nope. Doubt that one. turbans = Sikhs. For the most part Sikhs are highly educated – work hard through education and then work hard at their chosen careers. Pay their taxes and support their country of adoption. I doubt many , if any of them, would even consider an ‘education’ through the London Metropolitan!!

  167. 167
    Counted them in ... where are they now? says:

    Plymouth University……

  168. 168
    Spoiler watch says:

    Is that young H@rry behind the banner?

  169. 169
    nellnewman says:

    UKIP – I accept a lot of women work in the public sector as nurses, teachers, social workers etc. I worked there myself for awhile.

    But I think it’s a wrong assumption to make that because they are female and working in the public sector they will vote Labour. I didn’t find my fellow workers predominantly in favour of leftwing labour in fact a number of them including me were vociferously rightwing!

  170. 170
    punter says:

    Big Mac meal please. Large fries.

  171. 171
    Anonymous says:

    what do you mean? they are both fat c’unts

  172. 172
    Anonymous says:

    Nah. He’d have put 2 Ts in university

  173. 173
    No justice says:

    Four found dead in British car near Lake Annecy.

    Tony Blair confirmed as still alive.

  174. 174
    Dave says:

    He died of AIDS ffs

  175. 175
    Anonymous says:

    Or Canada

  176. 176
    George Michael says:

    That was a terrible disease. Wouldn’t want to get that again.

  177. 177
    Lesley Gore says:

    I did a song about that. Then I went to bat for the other team.

  178. 178
    J.Edgar Electrolux says:

    Fewer Nell, if you please.

  179. 179
    Second Home vaguery says:

    The fact that both Ed Cooper and Yvette Balls went to Harvard tells you all you need to know.

  180. 180
    J.Edgar Electrolux says:

    Letter to the DT yesterday mentioning the wearing of a turbine.

  181. 181
    Should not says:

    the second letter be an “R”?

  182. 182
    Dithering Dave says:

    I swept the floor at PMQs

  183. 183
    Ed Moribund says:

    ..and I thwept the floowr afterwardth.

    More coffee anyone?

  184. 184
    Ayatollah Corbleimi (in the holey city of Qu'm) says:

    Us lot from East of Suez think all exams are just a lottery, anyway.

  185. 185
    Earl of Croydon says:

    Id be quite happy so long as we put a chip in them which is time to explode the day after their visa expires.

  186. 186
    Saffron says:

    There is a clear message to me in this Politechnic fiasco,and it is this,cash/cash/cash.
    These so called students with some exception,s are playing the system for all it’s worth and their objective is to remain in this country come what may.
    What is our three pathetic parties doing about this,in my opinion absolutely nothing,they are merely scratching the surface.
    There are far more immigrants coming into this country than we can support our infrastructure cannot support this level of increase,will it be a Cammoron priority absolutely not.
    Also I will include the other 3 parties who have proved themselves to be traitors to this country.

  187. 187
    Chav says:

    Im fed up of ppl like u like, alwaze complanin like.

  188. 188
    Moaner van der Merwe says:

    Well done FTT, that sorted the doos out.

  189. 189
    Graduate says:

    Leaf us students alone! We work hard too get a degree. Because of you Tory monsters we have to get in to big det.

    So get lost and stop picking on forign students!

  190. 190
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    4,500 primary schools in the UK have NO male teachers whatsoever. FACT.

    Now that is discrimination for you.

  191. 191
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    More Newsnight bollocks. Remember how the BBC/left told us tonight that our summers will now be wet and cloudy and our winters will be cold and snowy.

    Remember that not so long ago they told us that our summers would be hot and we’d all die from heatstroke and that our children would never see snow again?

    At least Peter Lilley is giving the BBC a kicking.

  192. 192
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    And why have the Greens elected a fucking Aussie mong as their new leader? Can’t she fuck off back to Australia?

  193. 193
    IQ 100 says:

    BBC nil, Lilley 10. Paxo floundering.

  194. 194
    IQ 100 says:

    Correction:-
    Paxo stuffed

  195. 195
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Educate yourselves – Tommorrow we return to the dead hand of the EU and its death by a thousand million million false Euro debts – faux debts created by creative but ‘false instruments’.

  196. 196
    Blowing Whistles says:

    That comment is by an imposter.

  197. 197
    Sy says:

    13 years of New Labour gave us. Education…Educashun…Edukatiun…Oh fuck it, will get free money off the state anyway.

  198. 198
    Blowing Whistles says:

    That comment is by an impostor.

  199. 199
    Blowing Whistles says:

    That one was by the real Blowing Whistles.

  200. 200
    Blowing Whistles says:

    That one is even more real.

  201. 201
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Are you the realest Blowing Whistles?

  202. 202
    Laughing hangman says:

    Damn good idea.50,000 volts of ECT would soon cure it

  203. 203
    Blowing Whistles says:

    I am the real Blowing Whistles.

  204. 204
    Blowing Whistles says:

    No not me, him!

  205. 205
    Spartacus says:

    I am Blowing Whistles.

  206. 206
    Blowing Whistles says:

    I am Sparticus.

  207. 207
    Camaron Diaz says:

    I am the best at Blowing Whistles.

  208. 208
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Nice to see a Tory finally attacking the BBC live on TV. Lilley was clearly setup being told a lie. Told one thing only to be ambushed on Newsnight.

    He was spot on though, Susan Watts did present that piece of shite as if it were ‘proper science’ when it was from a lefty mong and all once again about might be possibly, prediction, if this happens etc.

    If only more Tories would out the BBC’s lies.

    Paxman’s defence that the BBC is so incompetent it couldn’t have done what Lilley said was also pathetic.

    Oh and expect Guido to pick up on this story in 2 days time.

  209. 209
    4 year old. says:

    Its very difficult to spell correctly when writing in capital letters.

  210. 210
    Pundit Too says:

    I returned to UK in 1990 and got speaking to a young student on a bus in London. I asked him what he was studying. He said the film industry – I am afraid I did show some incredulity, but he said it was a 3 year course.
    He probably works for the BBC now.

  211. 211
    Aussie PM Gillard says:

    After promising no Carbon Tax, I introduced one. Anyone daft enough to support it has no chance in the coming election.

    At least in the UK there are still enough dopey fuckers to vote for the greenies – so she may as well stay there.

  212. 212
    Koos van der Merwe says:

    Don’t you try to insult me. I know where you are supposed to live.

  213. 213
    Pundit too too says:

    When Obama was suddenly awarded the Nobel prize he realised he was in trouble as his speech writer had left the White House for a university. He managed to contact him and the poor guy had to cancel a hot date to do the work overnight.
    Cicero he aint.

  214. 214
    Steve P says:

    I see the caption now says “Case IN point at today’s protest…”

    Yet the email said “Case AND point at today’s protest…”

    Guido surely if you are going to correct your own errors you should also correct those of those you mock?

    For if not, are you not a hypocrite?

  215. 215
    Pundit too too says:

    Wonderful 15 minutes interval on Radio 3 yesterday when they interviewed a man who had spent over 20 years investigating and researching the weather, including interviewing over 800 farmers, shepherds, herdsmen etc on old sayings on the weather.
    I believe he now has a blog and has written a book and given lectures. He states his forecasts of 6 month into the future are 90% accurate, and that we should have a mild winter but it all depends on the wind direction on December the 21st, one of the four important quarter days that determines the weather for the next 3 months.
    BBC should employ him as their forecasts are only 60% right.

  216. 216
  217. 217
    Tachybaptus says:

    And do you go around with a bottle of Tipp-Ex officiously removing incorrect apostrophes from greengrocers’ signs? And if you do not, are you not a hypocrite too?

  218. 218
    Stephen Fry says:

    I have an excellent way to handle this situation:

  219. 219
    Gideon says:

    The missionary position is rather tame by my book.

  220. 220
    A B Boyd says:

    No, you’ve got that all wrong. The weather today is what we tell you it is.
    We are always right. Dissent will not be tolerated.
    That will be £145.50 or your life.
    Ker-ching !

  221. 221
    Pip Cox says:

    The reading of greengrocers’ apostrophes is an up-and-coming branch of tassomancy. However, I suspect Guido is more likely to favour oenomancy.

  222. 222
  223. 223
    smoggie says:

    Since it is clearly numbnutz week – how about this idea? Maybe the starving British kids could eat the foreign “super-rich”. Problem solved.

  224. 224
    headmistress says:

    Forky, you really are an unemployed illiterate aren’t you? On the computer all day long creating mis-spelt and unpunctuated bollocks. Still, carry on as it gives the rest of us a laugh when we get in from working all day/night.

  225. 225
    ho hum says:

    They need A level maths these days to work out how to pull that bit of string thingy they use to work out how far the camera has to be from the actors in front of it.

  226. 226
    headmistress says:

    Educate yourself “tommorrow” ?? Okkay thenn.

  227. 227
    headmistress says:

    Lord P, you omitted to point out that Charlie forget the apostrophe in others’. Never mind; better luck next time.

  228. 228
    ho hum says:

    I had a potatoe, a tomatoe, and a mangoe for my dinner yesterday. I was on the top floor of a very tall building so I had a touch of vertigoe as well.

  229. 229
    headmistress says:

    EP: You need remedial classes. You forgot the question mark, lots of which may be found throughout our wonderful language.

  230. 230
    ho hum says:

    We all understand what a strong quake in is, as I am sure we have all had one at some time. However, what I’d like to know is why has Costa Rica been cancelled? Not enough tickets sold?

  231. 231
    ho hum says:

    Does she really??

  232. 232
    Gonk says:

    After economic bankruptcy too much to hope that the filthy left would leave the charity sector untouched. Tainted beyond redemption now.
    God I hate them. Every sector of decent British life infected.

  233. 233
    UKIP.i.am.awake says:

    Nell, I don’t assume all women (or men) in the public sector vote Labour. However there is an incentive and a non-political reason for people in the public sector to vote Labour. Labour will do much more to protect those jobs, salaries and pensions as they are bought and paid for by the unions (who are still very powerful in the public sector because there is no real competition) at the expense of everybody else. So it is in the financial interest of public sector workers to vote Labour. And I don’t blame them for looking after number one. Everybody else does. But government has a duty to look after everybody fairly – not just the powerful.

  234. 234
    Astrid Proll says:

    Don’t worry Forky, the ‘headmistress’ is just pissed she has had to go back to work this week. If she’s in the state sector that be means facing the delights of the commodified youth of Britain or if she’s in the private sector then Kowtowing to the kids of rich c_nts. We know what to do with them in the RAF

  235. 235
    UKIP.i.am.awake says:

    I claim my weather forecasts are 95% correct so the BBC should employ me. I don’t waste time on shepherds or charts. I use the tried and tested method of reading the signs on pizzas.

  236. 236
    kinnochio says:

    formerly World of Leather, North Circular Road

    Diversity isn’t spelled U-n-i-v-e-r-s-i-t-y is it?

  237. 237
    anonymous says:

    so this crass, criminal goverment are going to use the money ‘saved’ by killing disabled people to build new ‘affordable’ homes and provide ‘help’ to builders and first time buyers hey/ bet that’s where they’ll bury all the bodies….sick fuckers

  238. 238
    Gordon McFuckwit Broon says:

    I don’t like egg soldiers

  239. 239
    Spek proper like what I does says:

    you forgot the ” n’stuff” at the end ..innit

  240. 240
    Left wing socialist waynetta says:

    I’m bored wiv daytime TV be glad when the offie opens and I can spend my dole

  241. 241
    Spunk bubble says:

    vaz has more to do with jiz than viz

  242. 242
    chipolata says:

    micro surgery then

  243. 243
    Forkbender says:

    Not in Dubya’s book of big words

  244. 244
    Labour left wing twat spotter says:

    I think you will find that Labour left power a little while ago so have no worries.

  245. 245
    Propa Spelin says:

    They’re their. Carm doun deere. It’s only a visa scam.

  246. 246
    Raving Loon says:

    It’s not important what the weather is, only that it indicates evil capitalism is to blame and that we must all live in mud huts and use wind farms. Unless you are one of the elite, in which case carry on.

  247. 247
    T.B£iar - the People's Messiah says:

    ‘Crass. criminal’ You can’t get me !

  248. 248
    Forkbender says:

    Archer change your bow string it is worn and likely to snap, you have to admit their are rather a lot of toffs in all parties, disturbed childhood don’t be silly.
    Headmistress, a man masquerading as a woman that must be your fetish to be dominated go away and play with Miss Whiplash, She will find if you have any (testicles)
    AP nar its a fella working out his favourite fetish as you can tell from the monica

  249. 249
    headmistress says:

    Astrid, dear, as an ex-WAAF I commend your perspicuity. I hope they haven’t put you in charge of anything serious though as the poor lads will be messing their pants every time they fly wondering what you forgot to tighten. Still, I suppose even the RAF need tea ladies to help out round the place.

    Plus, I do not kowtow to the little buggers. Any nonsense and they get slapped down pdq. That’s why I am the (albeit old fashioned – but effective) headmistress and you are a tea lady. Give us a call if you want to retake your Baccalaureate.

  250. 250
    Forkbender says:

    Gordy, do you like anyone

  251. 251
    ho hum says:

    Where I come from the soldiers are usually made from toasted bread, not eggs.

  252. 252
    Europewatcher says:

    I see unemployment in France is now at 10.2%

    “(Reuters) – France’s unemployment rate hit 10.2 percent in the second quarter, its highest level in thirteen years, the INSEE national statistics office said on Thursday.

    The data, measured according to the International Labour Organisation’s (ILO) criteria, comes as the euro zone’s second largest economy has posted three consecutive quarters of zero growth.”

    Is three consecutive quarters of zero growth really believable, I ask you? Are people so gullible?

    So we are now beginning to see the fruits of the ‘tax the rich (i.e. business)’ policies introduced by Hollande. No doubt had Britain followed the same idiotic policies we would be suffering as well, instead of having much lower unemployment than in the Eurozone.

    For the employers are voting with their feet in France, as was always the inevitable outcome of jealous, knee jerk reactions to the idea that wealth and job creators should be allowed to retain most of their wealth to plough back into their businesses.

  253. 253
    Forkbender says:

    That will not go down well on this blog, London to them is the New Jerusalem where all good people go or aspire to to go, to them outside the M25 does not excist hence Borus’ outburst a few years ago about Liverpool

  254. 254
    Old Grumpy says:

    It was a seedy establishment when it was a polytechnic!……….. Anyway it seems there is a split in the ranks of Academia!……….. An Admissions Administrator from another (“redbrick”) Uni has issued an anonymous press statement, castigating the London Met………..

    It sounds as if the Borders Bums might have got it right this time!

  255. 255
    alexsandr says:

    you could have played management bollocks bingo

  256. 256
    alexsandr says:

    Then why didn’t you spell it rita, not writer?

  257. 257
    fibreglass minaret says:

    don’t forget the landlords, buy to rent, student accomodation, immigrant accomodation, guaranteed income for landlords

  258. 258
    learning experience says:

    thomas sowell sums it up

    at the heart of every great disaster there’s a harvard man

  259. 259
    Benfit tourist says:

    Why bring a family to the benefits, when you can send benefits to the family?
    Sending family allowance to Poland is allowed.

  260. 260
    learning experience says:

    comedy degree? try east london university

    fucksake

  261. 261
    my bad says:

    fuck off jimmy

  262. 262
    BABATUMBE AKINOLO says:

    I AM A PRINCE IN MY OWN COUNTRY!!


Seen Elsewhere

Bashir Booted Out By Respect | Respect
Americans Try Haggis | Guardian
Page 3 and the Art of the Self-Pity Statement | Guardian
Steven Woolfe For UKIP Leader? | Asa Bennett
Mohammed — in Pictures | Speccie
Leon Brittan’s Accusers Must Show Their Evidence | Dan Hodges
New Saudi King Renames Roads While Body Still Warm | TechnoGuido
In Davos, Carrying a BlackBerry is a Status Symbol | Business Insider
New Labour in Peep Show Quotes | Telegraph
Here is What a 7 Way Debate Sounds Like | BBC
I Am Bearing My Breasts | Laura Perrins


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George Galloway says of his former Respect candidate the UKIP MEP turned Tory, Amjad Bashir…

“Clearly Bashir does not have any real political principles or commitment, only naked opportunism and self-interest. He represents the revolving door principle in politics. The Tories are welcome to him because he will cause them embarrassment. Fortunately Respect was able to act before he did it to us.”


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