September 4th, 2012

Reshuffle Close of Play
BoJo Goes Loco, Herbert Quits Mystery, Gove Dream Team

Dave’s first reshuffle has been far more wide-ranging than first thought, with a raft of junior ministerial positions changing hands this evening. The big news was Boris slamming the PM over his sacking of Justine Greening:

“There can be only one reason to move her – and that is to expand Heathrow Airport. It is simply mad to build a new runway in the middle of west London. It is clear that the government wants to ditch its promises and send yet more planes over central London. The third runway would mean more traffic, more noise, more pollution – and a serious reduction in the quality of life for hundreds of thousands of people. We will fight this all the way.”

Elsewhere the major surprise of the afternoon was Nick Herbert quitting as police minister to be replaced by Damian Green, someone who knows all about brushes with the law. There was reward at last for Michael Fallon, who has been made a privy counsellor and part of the BIS team apparently as a “counterweight to Vince“. Greg Clark gets a deserved job as City minister, with Liz Truss given an education post. It’s dream team territory for Michael Gove…

It is also reported that LibDem Don Foster will be made a Communities minister. Yellow sources tell Guido that Foster threw a strop when Clegg overlooked him last time round, even going as far as threatening to quit unless he was promoted. It looks as if he’s got his way…

UPDATE: Paxo claims another victim as Chloe Smith is packed off the Cabinet Office, to be replaced at the Treasury by Sajid Javid. Matt Hancock has survived the prank phone calls to land a role at BIS. Nick Boles gets planning where he will sell the government’s plans to build in the shires.


273 Comments

  1. 1
    Kebab Time says:

    But number 10 have said no change in policy?

    Like

    • 6

      What policy? When you find out, will you let me know?

      Like

      • 21
        Fcuk me can it get any worse, yes it can says:

        Laws gets rewarded for stealing from us, Hunt is kept in the cabinet instead of being drop kicked out of it and by appointing Ken Clarke to advise him he’s saying ‘myself and George have no idea what we’re doing’.

        Another U-turn on the horizon re the runway and the bulk of changes being made to keep him in post as PM and the Tories out of overall control at the next election.

        Thank god for Boris, but sadly he’s not available as leader until after the next election.

        Like

        • 25
          Jimmy says:

          A babysitter for Gideon may be the one useful change.

          Like

        • 27
          Four-eyed English Genius says:

          The trouble with Boris is his daft airport. Sound otherwise.

          Like

          • Not Daft At Alll says:

            It’s not a daft Idea.

            Just look at Honk Kong International airport. Designed by a Brit. Yes DESIGNED BY A FUCING BRIT . Lord Norman Foster. And it’s been a total success.

            A Daft idea is building a major airport at Heathrow where due to prevailing winds the planes have to fly over London.

            http://www.discoverhongkong.com/us/see-do/culture-heritage/modern-architecture/hong-kong-international-airport.jsp

            Like

          • Anonymous says:

            How much money these guys can make by building a run way or a airport?

            There is still capacity in South East. What about all the other airports in South East?

            Like

          • @Not Daft At Alll

            Quite right. Sorry 4-EEG.

            Like

          • smoggie says:

            Third runway means demolishing the village of Sipson (among others) along with the excellent old King William IV pub, where I have spent many a happy afternoon when I should have been working instead. They do great food and used to have fabulous fish and chips, the Good Cod Almighty, being me favourite.

            Boris is right. This is madness. Madness I tell you.

            Like

          • Fog says:

            High speed railway links, or good train links of any kind – say between Gatwick and Heathrow, and the new Bojo proposed airport and Heathrow-Gatwick, would work. But that’s not going to happen. Unless good transport systems are put in place, a third runway at Heathrow is the only option.

            Like

          • smoggie says:

            Why? Heathrow has piss poor transport links. You can only travel one way by rail and that’s into central London and then you need a taxi or tube to get to another railway station. Most people are forced to take a coach or hire a car. If you want to travel by rail westwards you have to get a bus (for one hour) to Reading ferchrissakes.

            Like

          • Anonymous says:

            Agree. It’s NOT DAFT AT ALL

            If we can do it in HK, we can do it in UK. All it needs is vision and a set of balls which Boris appears to have.

            It’s obvious Heathrow is way past its sell-by date, and has become a national embarrassment, the opportunity to have a first world state-of-the-art NEW HUB airport without flight-time restrictions is blindingly obvious.

            Incidentally, Norman Foster designed the HK airport from his ground-breaking design of Stansted airport in 1991, which turned airport design upside down. HK airport is just a much bigger version of Stanstead !

            And guess what ? Yes, the Swiss copied it. Try Zurich airport.

            Like

          • Four-eyed English Genius says:

            Whether Heathrow is superannuated or not, the fact is that a Thames Estuary airport is a
            completely bonkers idea!

            Like

          • Michael Fish says:

            Easy, just change the prevailing wind

            Like

        • 28
          Non-Nephilim says:

          Hunt’s reward from keeping schtum about Cameron’s involvement?

          Like

          • Anonymous says:

            From this only one thing is clear, Hunt did what Dave and Osborne told him.

            Like

          • Procrustes says:

            Simples -concrete over the Thames and land the aircraft right in the middle of the city. They have to fly over it anyway. Failing that, concrete over the Thames and make it a motorway -a fast route to Heathrow. Think of the congestion charge revenue/constriuction jobs. A win/win

            Dumb ideas -yep but no dumber than the notion that windfarms can fulfill our energy needs and the tossers have no trouble buying into that.

            Like

        • 39
          Anonymous says:

          Are we going to teach kids how to defraud?

          Grove is doing a job by improving standards. There is no need for this ass h*le.

          Like

      • 270
        Blowing Whistles says:

        The only policy is that of backtracking on the Climate Change EU Act 2008 -GlobAl (bluffed the EU spinmeisters too) Gore warmongerer – “All of the UK’s political pygmies – across the political board have been caught out for their – utter craven spinelessness to the pillock Al Gorey and his puppet string pullers. A ruse it has all been and how dumbfcuked are “they” for all having bought into that utter Alcrap farago. Ha Ha Ha …. and they at the House of Circus performers think that they’ve pulled another one on the public …. Game Over.

        It will be with the downfall of the commies in our midst – when the sore subject of the EU debts kicks off again tomorrow.

        Like

    • 17
      I Remember You Hoo says:

      There hasn’t been a change in policy since 1997.

      Like

      • 188
        What I say is gas the buggers says:

        It would appear that some planned policy changes might not go as planned.

        New Housing Minister called Prick or something is well documented as a NIMBY … so much for pushing for planning laws.

        While the new Health minister is on record as being a supported of homeopathy (oops).

        Shappsy gets promoted despite housebuilding falling to its lowest since the 1930 and homlessness at a record high. (But not before doling out the buns to his mates in housebuilding who funded his office).

        You couldn’t make it up. (The Thick of It would appear to be documentary, not satire, these days)

        Like

    • 18
      Engineer says:

      Listening the BBC’s coverage of said reshuffle, there is great emphasis on the change of Transport Secretary. It would seem (according to said coverage) that the nation’s entire transport infrastructure consists of one airport in West London, and the only decision the new Minister has to make is whether or not to build it a new runway. (Why can’t they just widen one of the existing ones a bit?) No roads, no railways, no water-bourne transport. Just one airport.

      Like

      • 24
        His Satanic Majesty, Beelzebub says:

        It’s not just an airport. It’s one of My major franchise outlets on Earth. Heathrow causes gratifyingly huge amounts of anger, frustration, greed, meanness and bad feeling. You mortals who call it Hell are closer to the truth than your puny minds know!

        Like

        • 79
          East Ender says:

          You are so right. After many years abroad I forgot how shit and malevolent is the influence of Heathrow on the quality of life. I was invited to Kew Gardens by people wanting to remind me of the tranquility and beauty of our green and pleasant land. One plane every 45 seconds all adjusting their flaps. It was a nightmare.

          I had to stay in London for work but decided that, actually, the better quality of life was to be had in the East. I still think so, no matter what people think when they turn up their noses at the postcode.

          Like

          • Engineer says:

            Quality of life is even better north of Birmingham; provided you avoid the heavily built-up bits. And Knutsford – it’s too close to the Manchester Airport flight path.

            Like

          • Lucius Calidius Eroticus says:

            Even within shoe throwing distance of Blackburn there are truly lovely places to live, where houses are cheap in comparison to the south.

            Like

          • Living in 98 percent white Merseyside says:

            The people of the Beacon of I*slam should worry more about what’s on the ground than what’s flying in the air.

            Like

        • 86
          Engineer says:

          Oddly enough, this comment has a deep ring of truth to it.

          Like

    • 32
      Mouse Trap. says:

      But Boris is the Mayor. What Boris says, goes. Boris is the law in London, not Dave.

      Dave should pick the battles he can win, not those he will lose.

      Like

      • 48
        Anonymous says:

        Boris hasn’t got a single new idea. He only implemented what was left by Ken, except the cable car over Thames (foolish idea).

        Like

      • 67
        The Boris Age says:

        And not forgetting the Boris bus, the Boris bike, the Boris zip line and the Boris sprogs.

        Like

        • 81
          Anonymous says:

          Bus is true, Boris wasted millions getting rid of buses that can run for years and spending few millions per Boris bus but not like Ken’s Olympics (waste of £xx bn.

          Bike’s were Ken’s. But Boris gave it cheap, adverts to Barclay’s.

          It seems every time we vote, we go for a worse one than before.

          Like

          • Lucius Calidius Eroticus says:

            Didn’t Ken introduce the super long bus then go to Venezuela for tea and biscuits with their loony left leader?

            Like

    • 41
      Anonymous says:

      Biggest problem we have is the economy, no change in that team.

      Osborne is saying he is cutting debt but by 2012 he would have increased by £600bn. Then there is all these Enron style account.

      Like

    • 102
      Blowing Whistles says:

      One big change in policy – That I have noticed – is that all the Climate Change nutters, dupes and idiots [Across the whole political spectrum - Zac Goldsmith, Ed Milipede and Chris huhnes new puppet]

      ARE ON THE BACKFOOT … Big Time.

      Yeo Yeo & Cam Cam [Conflicts of interest] and even Georgina Os – have been backpeddeling on the cliamte change Act 2008 … for months why?

      Because there is a huge growing revolt against the taxpayer – being surreptitiously bled dry of money for – useless wind farms / turbines – which WILL NEVER EVER – keep the lights on.

      The lights have been on – but there’s been nobody other than fools – in government & Opposition.

      Like

      • 183
        Lucius Calidius Eroticus says:

        The truth is that the MMGW tax grab has run out of wind. Nobody gives a fuck about the dangers of carbon dioxide after the UN itself was found to be wanting in the truth stakes. That horse has rode out of town.

        I’m interested to know what the next impending disaster that means I must be an Lib Dem is though.

        Like

    • 103
      Anonymous says:

      All of this reshuffle us utter bolloks, the Tories have blown any chance of getting re-elected after the blatent lie of the CAST IRON GAURENTEE for a referendum.
      As someone in my sixties I do not expect to see another Tory government in my lifetime. They will be in oposition for decades The UKIP vote will torpedo every Tory seat with a majority of 5000 or less and any Tory MP who holds such a seat should start to plan a new career outside of polotics.
      Only a fantacist could believe in a Tory recovery outside of an imedeate legaly binding in/out referendum on EU membership. All this wafle about reclaiming powers after the next election is exactly that WAFFLE.
      Any changes would require the other 26 members to agree to them so forget it
      Plus we all know that the Tory party are 100% Europhiles. Conservatism is now totaly fucked and has lost both the trust and suppot of its core vote

      Us real Coservatives have had enough of being ignored

      Ukip for me and as many as I can persuade likewise

      Like

      • 216
        Archer Karcher says:

        Why the fixation on the need for a referendum?

        We didn’t have one to go in and we don’t need one to leave. A simple vote in parliament would be enough to end the whole sour relationship.

        Like

    • 105
      old git says:

      2015 THE TORY LAMENT

      Now look at me, an ex MP who once had a majority
      I thought we were the ruling classes choosing to ignore the masses
      Disregard their point of view, no in/out vote on the EU
      Promising the unwashed shower, when were back in we’ll claw back power

      Alack alas that didn’t wash, they thought our promises were tosh
      Our vote took an enormous dip. It seems they all went for UKIP
      UKIP simply had us beat and I have lost my Commons seat
      At Cameron I am much annoyed, for now I’ve joined the unemployed

      We should perhaps at least reflected why it was we were elected
      Listened and took careful note of those who gave their trust and vote
      We were there at their behest, not to serve our own interest
      We’re there to serve, not dictate rules. THE VOTING BRITISH ARE NOT FOOLS

      Like

    • 127
      Disillusioned voter says:

      The Tories in their current state are making many enemies yet very few allies. Obviously, those on the left are going to oppose any sort of Conservative premiership and government – thats a given.

      What is and will be the downfall of the Conservative party, spanning from now and into the coming decades, is their constant alienation of the right – what should be their core support. There are many sensible, concise opinions and arguments coming from the right, but the current Conservative leadership refuses to listen to them.

      This “shifting” to the centre experiment is a failure, and the failures of this government will have undone all the work the Tories put in distancing themselves from Thatcher (rightly or wrongly) – plaguing them with the nasty party image (Again, rightly or wrongly)

      Like

      • 161
        Anonymous says:

        What do you mean right? Look at there policies on family life, crime, sex life, g*y marriage, etc. This is the most left wing government. If you are on benefits they will also give you 6% income rise.

        Just ask Cameron, when he set foot into a Church.

        This government only support the supper rich and work shy, as most of this lot fit into this.

        Like

        • 219
          Archer Karcher says:

          +1

          Entirely correct analysis.

          The ‘progressive’ agenda led by Cameron, is nothing more than elitist left wing pandering, to crony corporations, with some crumbs thrown to the benefits classes.
          Who is being forced to finance the entire rip off scam, from wind energy to bailouts to overseas aid? The middle class, that’s who.
          Once the Tory backbone, the middle class are treated like serfs, to be milked dry, patronised and ridiculed, with equal contempt if they dare show any resistance to the collectivist, command and control, left wing mantra.

          Like

        • 267
          The Golem says:

          +1

          Like

    • 231
      John Sage says:

      The change in policy needed is at Defra so I wait to see what the new minister there does. When food is rationed next year and prices double or treble in the supermarkets, airports and the exam system will seem rather irrelevant.

      Like

  2. 2
    Tachybaptus says:

    Rearranging the nobodies on the Mary Celeste.

    Like

    • 3
      Blowing Whistles says:

      I was just about to state – musical chairs on the Titanic.

      Like

      • 61

        To attempt to admonish me by referencing Voltaire but then fail to recognise where his words were used back in answer to your own criticism must be the ultimate in meta-irony…

        Like

        • 114
          Blowing Whistles says:

          You Sir are the blinkered one. If I use one voltaire saying – then that is because I like it.

          It does not mean that I have to agree with all he said.

          You are ‘smarting’ from having had a younger man throw dirt and knowledge at you.

          Go and watch the film ‘There’s something about Mary’ for the line stated by Cameron Diaz – and I hope that no one on here tells you what that line was. As you grow older old man – your faculties start to fail – it’s what happens to us all.

          Like

          • There is a word to describe someone who is at the centre of their own universe: Solipsist.

            I have no fear at all of people who are cleverer than I am (and there are plenty). It is a chance for me to learn from them and therefore an opportunity.

            Cameron Diaz is just uttering a line that someone else has written. I am not going to spend two hours trying to find out what that is when I have Anthony Quinton, Antony Flew, Jan Smuts, AC Grayling and Josiah Royce, to name but a few, waiting to be read on my bookshelf in front of me. Clearly you cannot understand that my priorities are way different to yours.

            Like

          • Blowing Whistles says:

            So SC – you don’t like promoting your own self-impotence on here do you – you big namedropper – drop as many names as you like – but aren’t you still just an ex-bankster who daren’t spill the real beans on the banksters ruses -‘cos your protecting your pension? Huh!

            Like

          • You better put up or shut up.

            It is clear you are talking without any knowledge and I don’t intend to bandy my personal affairs on here merely to correct your ignorance.

            Unlike some who have recently left banking life, I do not rely on huge bonuses. Having held prominent positions in the past, it is only natural that I have met some well known people. I only mention them when it is appropriate to the conversation. Now I have no contact with the majority of these. But I still meet interesting and prominent people from all over the world in philosophy and the arts. I do not require your permission for this.

            You really must have a big problem if you have to bracket all people with a certain background as being identical. But that must remain your difficulty and not mine.

            Like

          • Blowing Whistles says:

            I accept your last comment – it speaks volumes ‘only’ about your own bigotry and I did not make a typo error in my last comment. Watch the film I have asked you to watch. Ho Hum … [Like taking candy ... from a baby ....] Cats are the most vacant of creatures.

            Like

          • ^Get a load of these guys says:

            Woof Woof

            Like

          • Anonymous says:

            Blowing Whistles:

            A legend in his own mental ward.

            Like

          • Wayne Ingibbous says:

            You should have seen him at full moon.

            Like

          • Rev Moon says:

            Blowing Whistles – you are so up yourself you jumped up fucktard. You say SC’s “faculties start to fail.”

            Wrong! Your faculties never started.

            Like

          • Anonymous says:

            So the Cat was a bankster. He’s right to try to hide his identity. Won’t do any good though. After regime change they will all be found, arrested, and dealt with.

            Like

          • Forkbender says:

            This sort of conversation is what gives this blog a bit of zing, a sort of mini HoC, insults hurdled and given, the only thing that is not moderated are the expletives , which of course is not allowed in the HoC (even to the extent of not calling “an honorable member” a liar when they quite obviously are and subsequently proved to be), as it is a public access blog anyone can comment on what is written (maybe Guido might put it behind a pay wall but he would not get the visitors). I do not belong to any political party, over the past 20 years this country has had to suffer terrible administrations, economically especially but certainly not as a lot of other countries. I wish we had a new Spitting Image back, after all the Thick of it is returning. It’s strange in some way this blog is a little like Spitting Image, politicians behaving badly and up pops Guido and pals, politicos do like being found out when they have been up to some sort of scam and they will not move till they are pushed.

            Like

          • Gonk says:

            Well made point Forky.
            I enjoy SC, BW and many others. Their disagreements sometimes highlighted by the freedom to be disgracefully fucking rude to each other.

            Like

          • Blowing Whistles says:

            Nice one Gonk & Forky – The thing is to find out who’s spinning bull and look at who’s doing the attacking at an individual rather than addressing the issues brought into the ‘sometimes heated discussions’.

            Personally – I am ‘flattered’ by those who can only resort to namecalling – to me it proves there are quite some on here who are professional trolls – perhaps working for the state & or other states and organisations.

            The key is “Freedom of Expression” – which since 1948 – has ‘served’ one group around the world far better financially than many others.

            A miscarriage of justice – the biggest ever – has had evidence put onto the bone since the downfall of Communism[1991]. The evidence is out there – and having an effect – hence – the desperation to kill off “Freedom of Expression”. It’s not easily explained here – but thats evident from all the smearing by those who are running with the hares – but in effect are duped into throwing the dirt for those hunting with the hounds.

            Like

          • Blowing Whistles says:

            P.S. I wrote it before and I will write it again – Sticks and stones may break my bones but the smearing only flatters me.

            Like

      • 68
        Anonymous says:

        The bloke is a Hunt

        Like

      • 94
        Mr Woosk says:

        Like

    • 19

      You can’t do that because of health and safety.

      Like

  3. 4
    Anonymous says:

    “It’s dream team territory for Michael Gove…”

    So what will Liz Truss do?

    Help Gove asset strip for the benefit of the Tory Donor List?

    Or just there to pretend that women do something useful (other than be available for fucking by men)?

    Like

  4. 5
    Calamity Clegg says:

    LibDem does strop. I’ve often wondered what they do all day.

    Like

    • 249
      Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

      Here is a photo of me for all my young female fans to copy and put beside their beds. Thank you all for your messages of commiseration (more than 1000 of them) about me not getting promoted to a cabinet position. Your warm messages help dispel my disappointment. Boaz.

      Like

      • 251
        Grand Master, Grand Lodge, Queen Street says:

        Nice to see you are wearing your masonic rings and two of them. Well done Handy. Boaz.

        Like

  5. 7
    RUN A WAY DAVE the DOOR MOUSE of Downing street says:

    I .D. S tells Camoron to fuck off ! LoL

    I Ain’t Goin Nowhere !

    Like

  6. 8
    Dave the Cnut says:

    Haven’t I done well today. All this lovely publicity and maintained the deficit for the day at circa £300m. Thats £5 extra debt for each of you stupid taxpaying peasants.

    Like

    • 11
      Ed Moribund says:

      So…no bandwagons at all today then?
      And none yesterday or the day before.

      Still, I expect three will all come along at once tomorrow..

      Like

  7. 9

    “Quango, William MP- becomes deputy junior minister to the minister without portfolio.”

    Its a dream job I can tell you. Cameron’s SpAds went down the list looking for an under promoted loyalist who would need no greater skills than;

    The intelligence of John Prescott
    The integrity of Tim Yeo
    The ability of Caroline Flint
    The public profile of Cheyrl Gillan
    The honesty of Elliot Morley
    The media skills of Chloe Smith
    The humour of Sarah Teather
    The charisma of Ed Miliband
    and the attendance level of Gordon Brown.

    We’ll all go in tomorrow, just to look good for the 1st day, then for the rest of the parliament ‘Team Ken’ will mostly be at some sort of well sponsored sporting event.

    Like

  8. 10

    Must be difficult being the boss and knowing in yourself that things are going tits up and not really knowing what to do about it. Riots last year, boooooing this year, Farage PM next year?

    Like

    • 15
      Lucius Calidius Eroticus says:

      Yeah lets have more EU, more immigration, more spend, more waste. War after fucking war. Nokia’s flying and Campbell lying. Let’s have all that good stuff back.

      Like

      • 26
        Knob Jockey says:

        That’s what we’ve got, apart from the Campbell and Nokia bits.

        Like

        • 133
          Lucius Calidius Eroticus says:

          Don’t get me wrong, nothing is rosy in the garden, but Mr Edwards seems to think that going back to the previous incumbents who have a long and proven record of failure is the right thing to do. It isn’t.

          Like

        • 196
          headmistress says:

          Mr E seems not to have noticed that we already have riots (last week) in Norn Ireland.

          Like

    • 262
      Procrustes says:

      That would require an election would it not? I believe the fixed term parliaments act means no election until 7/5/2015. Do keep up.

      Like

  9. 12

    If I strop will someone please make me Secretary General of the UN?

    Like

    • 71
      Anonymous says:

      UN? United Nations? United only in ensuring dis-unity. Pity they don’t fall within the orbit of the Trades Description Act.

      Like

  10. 16

    Now, to another matter; the record levels of unemployment. Many say that unemployment is the result of government mismanaging and underspending. Nothing can be further from the truth. We all know the real cause of unemployment, don’t we, gentlemen? Unemployment, in this country, is caused by pixies. Peter Cook

    Like

  11. 20
    Sir William Waad says:

    So the Alpha Male Baboon stays at the head of the troupe, but some of lesser baboons have changed places in the hierarchy.

    Like

  12. 22
    "Wonder Warsi" says:

    My Belly is bigger than my tits, what more do you need to know from muzzo land

    Like

    • 29
      Rochdale says:

      Yeah, because you have been living off the fat of our land.
      I bet your shit stinks, the rest of you is just as unpleasant, and to confirm that I bet you are not allowed to pray alongside the money launderers, drug dealers and child molesters.

      What a torch you are…

      Like

    • 84
      Your Loving Cousin says:

      I will always find you a spicy little piece of action, don’t you worry

      Like

  13. 30
    Scamp The Excitable Dog says:

    It’s a Five Knuckle Reshuffle and no mistake.
    Loving the ‘Left’s’ bluster on it though.
    Labour whipping post *Token* Baroness Warsi is now all of a sudden a ‘victim’ of a gang of racist misogynists.
    Hypochilarity of the highest order.

    Like

  14. 33
    I want to be a muslim says:

    I cut my neighbours head off, he looked at my wife.

    Got me mates round to help me stone the wife, she smiled when she saw him.

    Like

  15. 37
    Some Twat up North says:

    Why do we tolerate these fuckwits

    Like

    • 134
      Lucius Calidius Eroticus says:

      If you come up with a reliable way of getting rid of them, give me a shout. I’ll gladly lend a hand.

      Like

  16. 38
    There will be troubles ahead says:

    Like

    • 47
      Some Twat up North says:

      Lock up yer daughters.

      Bring out yer dead, finish off yer sufferin…

      Like

    • 101
      Fish says:

      First rate? It’s likely that Greening has allowed her Civil Servants to screw up the West Coast rail franchise. Despite Virgin’s appeal, DfT was determined to sign the agreement – but had to back down the following day as Greening would have been in breach of the law.

      Like

  17. 42
    Anonymous says:

    SINK! SINK! SINK! The Tory boat is slowly sinking and will be under water by 2015.

    Like

  18. 43
    Matthew Hancock MP says:

    Before anyone asks– NO, I’m NOT related to Mike Hancock.
    Boaz.

    Like

    • 56
      Humourist alert says:

      In New Zealand?

      Like

    • 117
      Grand Master, Grand Lodge, Queen Street says:

      Welcome to the craft dear entered apprentice. Handy will look after you as you find your feet in your new job. Jahbulon.

      Like

      • 129
        Blowing Whistles says:

        Dear GM – why is it that you and your legions only do “After-care” activities for children who are abused?

        “Nowhere in you literature” going back decades and more – do you condemn the vile act of child abuse – why do you only do “After-care” activities?

        Like

  19. 44
    I Hate Theresa May says:

    I Hate Thersa May

    Like

  20. 46
    "Halibut Tikka" says:

    I have good credentials on Fish

    Like

  21. 49
    Registered Disabled says:

    A little over two and a half years ago David Cameron made Chris Grayling Employmrnt Minister.

    At the time Chris Grayling made a promise to get me and half a million people off disability benefits and into regular full time jobs.

    As he sets off tonight to sort out justice in the UK I would just like to wish him well and hope he has more success than he had with employment.

    Like

    • 54
      Some Twat up North says:

      Always remember, the rich only get rich at the expense of the poor.

      These people have expanded their standpoint to include the unfortunate…

      This means you and my wife.

      Like

  22. 64
    Some Twat up North says:

    This government is simple proof that all men are not born equal…

    Like

  23. 72
    Aunty Matter says:

    Boris Island is the only sensible solution. No one will tolerate Manston, Biggin Hill or Lydd being expanded.

    Heathrow is a dump and Gatwick is even worse off than Heathrow.

    Like

  24. 77
    HenryV says:

    Polly Twaddle-Toy-Bean was Al Beeb. She spoke rubbish about austerity.

    Like

  25. 80
    Mornington Crescent says:

    And why has Jim Paice been sacked, FFS? I presume because he didn’t know the price of a pint of milk – like 99% of the fucking population, including most Beeboids who framed him.

    Solid chap, has worked in and around farming all his life, knows his subject by heart, calls a spade a spade and has solved the milk price problem (which had been rumbling on for years under Labour) this very day. In short, all substance but not much style.

    No wonder ‘modern’ politicians like Dave don’t like him.

    Like

  26. 83

    Manston: miles away on the Isle of Thanet FFS
    Lydd: same distance
    Biggin Hill: Could not be developed to even Gatwick levels. Even if it could, it could not keep pace with the increase projected.

    Luton: too constricted to develop much further.
    London City: at capacity

    Boris Island is the only choice.

    Like

    • 97
      evad666 says:

      Manston and or Boris Island.

      Like

    • 98
      Simplicimus says:

      The Dutch would have done it by now. Just done it.

      Like

    • 107
      Fish says:

      Yeah SC, for the SE of England, but LHR is not just a London Airport, it is our national one. Airlines (BA for e.g) have concentrated their services from there at the expense of the regional airports.

      Boris Island would be a disaster for the wider UK, meaning the economy would be even more Londoncentric and even more infrastructure £££’s would be spent in London (currently consumes 95% of the nation’s pot). If there is to be a new airport it has to be on the HS2 link.

      London is becoming a country on its own and it can’t go on. TFL says by 2030 there’ll be another 1.2m people in London (the equivalent of the population of Brum), meaning even more rail spending (Crossrail 2, Northern Line extention to Nine Elms / Battersea / Clapham Jct for e.g.)

      Like

      • 111
        Metropolitan Weed Farmer says:

        Then the rest of the nation should stop moaning and grow their own

        Like

      • 119

        Have to disagree on this one Mr Fish.

        This airport would be the major world hub. Many flights would simply connect and half the passengers would never leave the airport. To site it in a populated area would be lunacy. To increase the planes flying over high density areas would also be lunacy.

        London is way off its peak population when I was much younger (say 40 years ago.) It collects a disproportionate amount of tax for the entire nation.

        Finally, we only have finite land in the UK. Do not develop in greenfield areas. We have loads of brownfield sites. Some folks like to escape the city and rediscover that milk comes from cows and not bottles or tetrapacks.

        Like

        • 160
          Cn do is what's needed says:

          +1

          Why are we dithering?

          Just get on and do it.

          Build the fucking thing

          Why ignore the bleeding obvious?

          Like

        • 171
          Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

          People also have to be realistic, for the Chinese or yanks LONDON is the UK like it or not.

          Salmond will be in for a big shock if he really thinks large foreign companies will want to invest in a Country that has no direct communication links to Europe or decent airports.

          Expanding Heathrow is just a non starter, the M25 and M4 around the west side of London are chaotic enough already. They spent millions and about 7 years widening the M25 around Heathrow and it’s not made the slightest difference, you could make it 20 lanes wide and it would still get clogged up.

          The M25 is generally clogged for most of the day but it’s at a standstill around Heathrow from about 06:30 in the morning to about 10:00 and that’s on a day with no accidents, stick a foreign fuckwit lorry driver and a shed load and it can build up to a 40 mile queue in just a couple of hours.

          Like

    • 122
      Lou Scannon says:

      Don’t think I’ve seen anyone attempt to explain who exactly the projected extra travellers are. Tourists ? Businessmen ? Where exactly will they want to go ? Will there be anywhere actually left for them to go ?
      The Indie was reporting some scheme to build an airport in Oxfordshire or thereabouts – any comments on that ? Suppose it would be close to H2S, but what use is H2S if you have a stop half-way ? Won’t ever get up to speed will it ? But then it’s doubtful whether it would even be stable at the vaunted speeds …..

      Like

      • 137

        I think it is the fact that London is a hub as much as it is a destination. If it can serve many destinations in say the USA, then many passengers of all categories will come from European airports, which are often much smaller, and still be able to have the wide choice of where to land Stateside. The reverse is also true.

        It is similar to London being the world financial centre, a fortuitous combination of location, time zone with other mаrkеts’ time zones and the use of English, given that it is now the unchallenged world language.

        To concentrate this advantage in one main airport would make Britain unassailable compared with any other European hub.

        Like

        • 162
          Just do it says:

          Quite right it is the hub airport that is the crux of the matter not the number of runways in the SE.

          And the beauty of a Thames Estuary airport is that that it would also have rail and sea links directly into Europe.

          Then to keep the greens happy it could the the next London flood barrage, a tidal power generator and a whale and Dolphin sanctuary.

          Like

        • 266
          Anonymous says:

          Look at the new DUBAI hub for Emirates.

          Once you are in Dubai, you can ANYWHERE in the world. Shanghai, LA, NY, Rio, Santiago, Delhi, Bombay, London, Paris, Berlin, Rome, Madrid, Moscow, Sidney, Melbourne, Perth, Bangkok, Hong Kong, Tokyo, Lagos, Nairobi, Cape Town, JHB, even Sweden for Julian Assange. Just to name a few.

          Other European airports are going this way, Schipol in particular, Air France following (AF&Dutch are now code-share and JV).

          Heathrow is now lowering its 2 minute slots to 1 minute slots to keep up with demand. Before long there will be a disaster as the place is totally saturated and traffic controllers will not be able to manage.

          The politicians have avoided a decision. HR3 is a sticking plaster whilst they continue to dally……

          Like

  27. 88
    johnwardmedway says:

    Justine’s move was inevitable, but only so that – whatever the outcome of the airport capacity review – no interested group/faction could use her constituency location and known promises to her constituents as a lever to claim the SofS was partial and influenced the outcome.

    That would have dragged it all on for years, while the inevitable legal and other reviews and cases played out, as they do in matters of this nature and magnitude.

    The entire reason we are stuck with all this today is because Labour left the whole issue hanging, unsettled, almost a decade ago. We really don’t need it being prolonged any further than necessary – which is why the review’s deferral now becomes an obvious part of the strategy and it can now go ahead.

    Like

    • 175
      Anonymous says:

      Apart from rushing headlong into wars, Labour left lots of crucial decisions unsettled despite having 13 long years to sort them out.

      Like

  28. 91
    Simplicimus says:

    Warsi as “Minister” for Faith and Communities?

    Run out of fucking Christians, have we?

    Cameron is dead.

    Like

    • 95
      Some Twat up North says:

      No, everyone with christianity, will be sidelined and then stoned.

      Nowt like having a fraudulent fucking Muslim in charge of faith and communities in our country.

      Like

    • 118
      Aunty Matter says:

      The BBC have.

      Like

    • 143
      Al-Shittah says:

      Please remember this is a multicultural country. A Muslim has as much right as a Christian to be Minister of Faith. In fact more right, because we have more rights than anyone.

      We also believe in peace, unlike those old ladies on bikes terrorising their way to church of a Sunday morning.

      Like

  29. 96
    evad666 says:

    Of course its mad to expand Heathrow that is why they will do it.

    Like

  30. 100
    You must be Joe King says:

    Pah!

    Like

  31. 104
    ukiplocal says:

    In the references article from Bell Pottinger, Tim Collins writes “She purged the wets, sending their leader Jim Prior from Employment to Northern Ireland, and brought key allies such as Norman Tebbit, Nigel Lawson and Cecil Parkinson to the fore. From then until her fall, she was dominant in her Cabinet.”

    Not according to her side of the story and not according to many who saw her constantly hemmed in by wets and Euro-integrationists.

    I doubt that Cameron considers himself in Maggie’s shoes; I suspect he enjoys the leftward drift and Euro-enthusiasm which he can pursue while blaming LibDemmery.

    Like

    • 108
      One hand clapping says:

      You credit him too much. The man doesn’t know what to do, and doing nothing he is losing the intiative and what levels of goodwill he once had. In a hundred years he will by one of those prime ministers no one can remember, like Viscount Goderich or H Campbell-Bannerman

      Like

      • 169
        Andrew Bonar Law says:

        Don’t forget me, the Unknown PM. Well, how could you, with that unfortunate middle name that children are told in school was pronounced “Bonner,” though none of them really believe it and think you’re just trying to stop them from having a chuckle, like they do with Lake Titicaca.

        Like

    • 113
      Anonymous says:

      ‘Her side of the story’ never understood that even some rightwing nutters could sometimes be sane enough to see that she was always stark staring bonkers.

      Like

      • 147
        Lucius Calidius Eroticus says:

        She wasn’t though was she. She just wound the fucking left up no end and you lot have had a sense of humour failure about it.

        Like

        • 227
          Anonymous says:

          She was though and that’s why they eventually got rid of her. But not before she wrecked the nation as you may come to realise when the process comes to the boil and you mount the scaffold.

          Like

  32. 106
    Anonymous says:

    “Nick Boles gets planning where he will sell the government’s plans to build in the shires”

    For a price, presumably.

    Like

    • 176
      Granny says:

      When will they learn that you shouldn’t shit on your own doorstep.

      Like

    • 208
      Cato says:

      Useless twat. Wouldn’t intervene (as an MP) in a planning matter concerning a 300 foot wind turbine proposed in beautiful open countryside because ‘it was not his business’.
      I’m making it my business to try and wreck this bloke.

      Like

  33. 110
    Vince Cable is an evil Fabian says:

    Oi!……. how can a committed Socialist go on doing his wrecking when he has capitalists at his back???

    Oh well…. at least I have the mandarins to rely on.

    Like

  34. 112
    Gonk says:

    When a corny lightweight like Don Foster can be appointed a Government Minister then we really are are in deep shit. He can’t even order a round of drinks without playing to the crowd.

    Like

  35. 120
    Robby Bopson says:

    This is all a bit like the football manager slagging his team saying there will be changes.

    Come Saturday there is a new right back and midfielder and some players have been promoted from the reserves to the subs bench .

    But the keeper centre half centre midfield and centre forward are all the same.

    Like

  36. 124
    Anonymous says:

    Jeremy Hunt to health?? Less a reshuffle more a 5 knuckle shuffle.

    Like

    • 165
      Wait a minute Batman says:

      Eh? Jeremy Hunt is probably one of the most intelligent people in the world. His problem is that he has not acuired the trait that to be successful in politics it is useful to be a good liar.

      Do a bit of research on Hunt and you will find that he is one of the good guys.

      Like

      • 229
        Knob Jockey says:

        But he has acquired a number of bumboys happy to put in a good word for him.

        Hope that he’s extra nice to you when you next get together.

        Like

  37. 125
    The Tit in No 10 says:

    I say you jolly chaps!!! Dashed good reshuffle thingy what? Everyone delighted with what they’ve got and no hard feelings. My chum Joules says it’s very popular with the Common People too.

    But on to important things – any new developments in the Climate Change scam we can make money on? What? Must look after one’s interests y’know! What?? HS2 should be a nice little earner too!

    Like

  38. 139
    Eddie Mair says:

    My name is Eddie Mair. Some used to say that I was a good presenter and excellent interviewer but, after today’s edition of PM, some say I’m a complete cnut who really enjoys talking over and trying to wind up Tory politicians with silly, shallow, stupid and totally irrelevant questions, just for my own entertainment. It sure aint for the listeners’ benefit! I particularly like trivialising government reshuffles because, for some strange reason, I get a massive erection in the process.

    I know I need treatment. Until this happens, I will continue with my trivial approach to all things serious. It’s what the listener wants and I’m the man to provide it. Oh yes.

    Like

    • 153
      Former R4 listener says:

      Spot on.

      Like

    • 154
      Fuck the bbc says:

      He is an utter c*nt – I stopped listening to pm years ago due to this this piece of sanctimonious arrogant left wing filth

      Like

    • 164
      Rather Vote For An AI Than A Human says:

      People have been saying for years to scrap the telly tax and make the bastards stand on their own two feet, even during Phony Blairs time but you Tories like to pretend your butch masochists or BDSM lovers or something letting the BBC tear you a new one time after time and paying for the pleasure of it and letting them get away with it scott free even when your in power. You have only yourselves to blame, no one would complain about keeping the the license fee money in their back pocket.

      Like

    • 235
      Anonymous says:

      Oh yes, Dave’s big day was soooo serious!

      I’m still laughing.

      ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

      Like

  39. 140
    Bogeyman says:

    Just heard the reshuffle news on BBC radio. They gave the details then… a comment from a Tory or LibDumb about how this would move the country forward? Something positive from the government? No, straight into Andy Burnham (WTF has it got to do with Andy Burnham?) slagging off the Tories. Then on to the next news item.

    And still Guardianistas say the BBC is too right wing!

    Like

    • 148
      UKIP.i.am.awake says:

      To Guardianistas Stalin was too right wing. Funny thing about the Guardianistas. They hate the Tory government for giving money to the idle, the sick and the poor.
      They hate banks for lending money to the poor.
      They hate business leaders for providing jobs for the unemployed.
      They love unions for making those jobs uncompetitive, so the workers ultimately lose those jobs. The lack of all logic of Guardianistas never ceases to amaze me.

      Like

      • 199
        A Guardianista says:

        Look, it’s perfectly simple.
        We have to keep the poor poor and stupid while promising them that they can all become rich and famous, that way they keep voting for us and we can remain rich and infamous at their expense.

        Like

      • 237
        Anonymous says:

        Business leaders never give jobs to the unemployed. Some of them were on the news last night saying exactly that.

        But don’t let reality impinge on your idiocy.

        Like

  40. 145
    not a machine says:

    mmmm its all gone a bit wrong for me , I have always campaigned against green belt developement and Geneticaly modified foods and havent changed my views on keeping the definition of marriage as it currently is .

    so time for me to part company , been a nice journey an all , but this is just so wrong for me , even if you think some of my views are wrong, your going to pressurise more farming and by the looks of it let in the GM lobby , after so much hard work .

    Fine you sold us all out , took yer money , used some dark nudge ops , but the truth just keeps breakin through doesnt it …..

    Like

  41. 149
    On reflection not so bad. says:

    On the whole I think Dave is in a better place tonight than he was last night.

    Very pleased to see Anna Soubry in government. She is one of the most ablest at Westminster.

    Yes Leveson made a Jezza Hunt to look like a fool but almost anyone’s private emails would. Hunt is a rare breed of politician who is there to do what’s best for his country and is self made.

    Greening should never have been transport minister as the pressure on keeping her job was too great.

    David Laws is not a crook, any sensible person can realise that.

    Sad to see en Clarke go as he is probably the most candid politician any government has seen.

    Glad to see the foreign Aid and the Windmill subsidy is at last on the decline.

    All in all not too bad… For now.

    Like

  42. 150
    Cressida's Dick says:

    Oh just shut the fuck up Fallon.

    No idea, no hope.

    Like

  43. 163
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Newsnight was a hoot. The old “Tory baby eaters” nonsense again.

    We get Stella Creasy (nice legs) moaning on about the lack of jobs, low wages and pay day loans sharks. Of course Paxmong doesn’t point out HER government did fuck all to regulate pay day loans and it was HER government who allowed 2 million foreign workers into the UK that not only took jobs but forced wages down.

    When the BBC make their hatred of the Tories so obvious (and their love of Gordon Brown) you know they cannot be taken seriously.

    Like

    • 168
      Gloria De Piero says:

      Stella was the future once.

      Like

    • 243
      Technomist says:

      Yours is a good point in general to make against any member of the Labour Party. When directed at Stella Creasy it loses specific impact when taking into acount the the fact that Stella Creasy is a first term MP. She is untainted by support in Parliament for Blair or Brown. An examination of her policy statements prior to election shows she barely made any statements longer than 140 characters, using the ‘community activist n twitter’ model to promote herself.

      Like

  44. 167
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    So 150 billion a year spent on benefits isn’t enough say Newsnight. Considering the fact we’re borrowing about 150 billion a year AND having to spend 40 billion on interest payments on the national debt, of course we should spend more on benefits.

    Just borrow more, it seems to be the BBC/Nu Labia/Guardian/Trade Unions answer to everything.

    Like

    • 177
      do me a favour says:

      No,according to Paul Mason on Newsnight, millions are literally starving to death just like they did in the 30’s….

      Like

    • 179
      Joe Stalin says:

      There is no question to which the BBC’s answer will not be either

      More spending
      or
      More regulation

      Like

    • 189
      Mr Nobody says:

      I shouldn’t worry about it if I were you, Labour are unelectable. Miliband will never be PM material, and the thought of Balls as chancellor is the other major nail in their coffin.

      Labour ought to be 30 points ahead by now, but their lead is barely into double figures. Come the election, you’ll be able to gloat as the left fail to make any progress.

      Like

  45. 184
    Kinnock hated Lords as did Prescott. says:

    The EU is a communist power. It’s elite are unelected. The elected politicians of the member states are unable to change anything. EU MPs are totally without any power at all and have to sit before an unelected EU president.

    Let’s just get out of this mad house.

    Like

    • 215
      BBC spokessomething or other says:

      Now, Now we’ll have none of that. We are all for it and that’s all that matters in this country.

      Like

  46. 187
    Jimmy says:

    Update on the “Gideon booed at Olympics” story:

    Like

  47. 190
    RUN A WAY DAVE the DOOR MOUSE of Downing street says:

    What the fuck is wrong with these people ?
    they are so fucking shallow that they actually believe they are popular
    after Osborne gets booed by 80,000 people , tonight Theresa May decided she was popular enough to present medals at the Olympics and got exactly the same treatment

    Roll on the Leadership challenge !

    Like

  48. 209
    David Cameron (Leader of the Nasty Party) says:

    Today at PMQ’s I shall have a very,very,red face.

    True to form,I shall dither and dither.

    Like

    • 233
      Ed Miliband (leader of the make Britain drown in debt party) says:

      I will make this country as great again as Greece, Spain and Italy.

      Like

  49. 211
    Mr Shapps says:

    There are immediate plans to appoint @ontablets as a Minister without Portfolio,thank you.

    Like

  50. 212
    a non says:

    Re the transport minister switch which the media informs me will result in Dave getting a grilling from Miliband at PMQs, wasn’t it a catastrophe in waiting like the BskyB / Murdoch situation. Cable leant one way and his replacement Hunt expressed views leaning the other way before being promoted to the job.
    Greening having already expressed views to defend her local electorates wishes against another Heathrow runway could never have continued in a job which necessitates impartiality.

    Like

  51. 213
    Ed Miliband (Leader of the Party opposite) says:

    Corby ! Corby ! Corby ! Corby ! Corby ! Corby ! Corby ! Corby ! Corby ! Corby ! Corby ! Corby ! Corby !

    Like

  52. 228
    Verrity says:

    Hi Little Sticky Fingers Laws, do you need an experienced Advisor? I can give you ass-istance any time you feel the need.

    Like

  53. 240
    Ed Miliband (Leader of the Make Britain Drown in Debt party) says:

    The Tories are not increasing debt fast enough. We need a party in power who can emulate the successes of Greece, Spain, Italy, Ireland and Portugal. Even Finland, one of the few EU countries still with a triple A rating, has just announced a -1.1% fall in GDP.

    “Gross domestic product (GDP) decreased a seasonally adjusted 1.1 percent in the second quarter,”

    The Tories aren’t even trying.

    Like

  54. 246
    David Lawless, Benefit Cheat says:

    My money troubles are over.

    Like

  55. 248
    TomCatesby says:

    Damian Green, police minister, you may as well have somebody in the job with ‘experience’

    Like

  56. 253
    Anonymous says:

    If it’s “Dave’s first reshuffle” shouldn’t it just be a shuffle?

    Like

    • 255
      albacore says:

      When you haven’t a clue on what to do
      And the country’s in a hell of a stew
      A shuffle will always divert attention
      From the sticky stuff you’d rather not mention

      Like

  57. 271
    Boulton Paul Defiant says:

    How the fark is Jeremy ‘Berkshire’ Hunt still in the cabinet? Smug farker.

    Like

  58. 272
    Vote UKIP says:

    9 Sept: Still waiting to hear what Mark Prisk MP has to say on housing….

    Like


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“Digger” Murdoch says:

Is it just me, or is Nigel Farage just a top hat and a monocle away from being a Batman villain?


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