The EU is Cracking Up
Cracks are starting to appear in Brussels. Literally.
From: ”WELLE Klaus”
To: ”Parlement Européen”
Date: Mon, 3 Sep 2012 07:41:19 +0200
Subject: Temporary closure of Section A of the Paul-Henri Spaak Buildin
In agreement with the President and the responsible Vice-President, I have taken the decision to temporarily close Section A of the Paul-Henri Spaak (PHS) Building. This precautionary measure has become necessary after the discovery of cracks in three of the wooden beams carrying the roof of the plenary chamber, during checks made in the framework of our increased inspection and maintenance policy. The causes of the cracks could not be determined which makes the temporary closure of the Section A of the Paul-Henri Spaak building necessary until the source of the problem can be identified.
The delicious irony was not lost on Nigel Farage, who gets in touch to say: “The roof is falling in in the European Parliament on the first day of term. I wonder what that might be a metaphor for?” Will the EU still be here by the time it’s fixed?
Was it built by the same crowd that built Alex Salmond’s gang-hut in Edinburgh?
Farage (and Guido) enjoying the moment.
Farage, wasn’t he the guy that fell from the sky?
Naaah. That was David Bowie.
Aye he got up out of a plane crash, wandered about a bit and then had a gin & tonic.
Nigel? Fucking legend.
Time for a gag…
I think you mean crash test dummy Farage FB…
I didn’t think the European Parliament had any load-bearing members.
Perrhaps they all prefer the missionary position
Can we have Strasbourg checked out as it could give us a chance to use Blaster Bates mark 2.
don t you mean master bates mark one
Farage – is that the lunatic that was recently feted by the tax evaders, Ponzi operators, insider traders, market manipulaters and ‘socially useless’ bankers in the ‘City’ cesspool?
They even gave him a ‘prize’.
Still worrying about your EU pension? But yes, it is true it will probably go bust along with the institution itself.
The EU is already a busted institution – The shame is that the lunatics running the joint are as yet unwilling to admit it – while they endlessly search for some chink of light. The EU is a behemoth monster in its last death throes.
They didn’t fix the roof whilst the sun was shining!
Inhabited by a few thousand traitorous crackpots (probably on crack too).
What a cracking headline it would be for the DExpress if the roof really fell in!
they did nt make hay either gid
I enjoyed my visit to this building
So did we.
Tur-tur-t-timing is the strong point here.
Where are Danny Boy’s play mates, on his own
We know that they are bonkers
Here’s a shovel. Off you go.
And a wheel-barrowso get on to it. Chop chop!
He can use it to carry banknotes once the cvnts really get into their stride.
JMB needs a JCB of gigantic proportions to handle his load.
Barroso hasn’t finished off the EU yet.
Look at the date. Check the anniversary.
Which one, the Great Fire, 1666 or the start of WWII, 1939? They both fit, FFS. A power-mad dictator tries to take over Europe– or (supposedly, as thought at the time) foreigners try to destroy the City?
The Great Plague of 1665 more likely.
I am happy for him to do whatever he wants with the eu as long as we’re not in it!
Got back from Athens in one piece, I see. A bit depressing.
Did someone mention fresh crack?
I though it was fresh cack
I’m looking forward to filling David Law’s crack when he’s back in his rightful place.
Even if it isn’t as fresh as it used to be.
I’ll get to the bottom of this girls
I always wondered why the Victorians moved from wooden beams to cast iron ones.
Beautiful Railway Bridge of the Silv’ry Tay!
Alas! I am very sorry to say…
For the stronger we our houses do build,
The less chance we have of being killed.
Cast iron was a dead end in technology.
Wood is OK, but it rots. I always imagine the 19th century as being perpetually damp. Perhaps with central heating and better varnish its not a bad material after all.
Oak don’t rot, just gets harder.
The delicious irony was not lost on Nigel Farage, who gets in touch to say: “The roof is falling in in the European Parliament on the first day of term. I wonder what that might be a metaphor for?”
I wonder what he has to say then about reports that the UK Parliament may have to close for 5 years for a massive refurbishment.
Some metaphor.
Mmmmm. Five years without any new laws.
Where do I sign?
5 years without parliament and no mp’s and hangers on salaries to & expenses pay for 5 years – the economy would be thriving after a comfortable spell with no government interference.
OK, but can they please pass the great repealing Bill annulling all the 3000 new laws nobody asked for before they go?
Yes. Increased maintenance inspection finds unexplained faults. What a surprise! £ms to be wasted in unnecessary renovation.
Don’t panic chaps, they are moving all government business to York
“You have been sitting too long for any good you have been doing lately; depart, I say, and let us have done with you. In the name of God, go!”
I suppose this is the bit where some EU fanatic points out that it’s jolly lucky they’ve got a spare parliament building in Strasbourg for just such an ‘emergency’.
I hear there’s plenty of spare room at Euro-Disney
Do we know each other?
Only enough space for one Mickey Mouse outfit there I’m afraid.
Has Boris seen the light ?
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/comment/columnists/borisjohnson/9516669/The-beautiful-nation-of-Croatia-is-placing-its-head-in-the-Brussels-noose.html
Most green timber cracks when put under pressure!!
I quit.
My understanding is you never even started to put a foundation down?
Comment like yours goes against the grain
One should be able to take the rough with the smooth!
I’ll file that remark for future reference
We’re cross, cut and sore.
Knot my fault.
I do believe you’ve hit the nail squarely on the head.
Perhaps they need to re-mortise.
Pining for a new thread……….Rosebud
Keep chisselling away.
Green oak cracks as it dries out.
Funny there are some cathedrals that have been standing for nearly 1,000 years and they are still standingwith original beams using greenwood joinery
Greenwoo joinery means the wood is easier work also as the wood dries out it hold joints firmer
That might (just possibly?) be the reason they used it, don’t you think?
Tried replying with modern day considerations of céntral heáting and air- conditióning but these seem to be expletives in the eyes of the mod bot
Try not to be ‘conditioned’ – think for yourself outside of being boxed in.
Pity the roof didn’t cave in with them all underneath. With one or two exceptions.
There’s probably nothing wrong with the structure regarding strength but some inexperienced ‘elf and safety Muppet has panicked. Any way if there is a fault with the timber construction surely the designers and architects are responsible and liable for any rectification costs, NOT US FU*KING TAX PAYERS? Or is this just another made up job for the builder friends of the EU to collect a few million?
The roof’s falling in on a building called Spaak
The inspectors are worried and have discovered a crack
Despite all their Euros and Transportes Magleves
A sinkhole has formed in the Rue de Treves
The noise coming out sound like There’s no going back…
The BBC is organising a farewell for Mark Thompson. Who is paying for this?
If it’s the license fee payer, do we get the chance to opt out and get a refund?
Just got fucking thrown out of B&Q, some old twat came up to me and asked if I wanted decking so I nutted the c u n t
Oih you’re lanquije is a fackin disgrace, clear orrff!
They probably had some Romaniansin Hi-Viz jackets passing by who gave it the whole…
‘I was just passing, shur, when I noticed the flashing is coming away from your chimney, shur. I have me ladder on top of me (untaxed Transit) van, shur. I’ll jusht go up dere, shur, and take a look at it for you, shur…’
Five minutes later and Von Rumpey is being marched down to the cashpoint to withdraw 100,000,000 Euros for ‘essential repairs’ and the tinkers have bought themselves a new Range Rover and a caravan. And stolen all the flashing and half the timber for a bonfire.
Not forgetting a new wedding dress for “Sahara Vienna” in that delicate
shade of laser pink suitable for an eighteen stoner.
Made from the new wonder fabric of the 21st century – nylon.
I thought it was those Iorish tinkers who did that sor, I have this tarmac left from a job we’ve been doing sor, would loike us to resurface your droive sor
It’s always worried me just how many people think this is true, rather than understanding that the tinker just melts the existing tarmac pieces and puts them back again. But then I grew up before the decimation of education in the 1970s.
Notice they didn’t discover the cracks untill after the summer recess.
Can I just amend that to…..themselves a new Range Rover Sport and a….
Quick question: why does the EU have 2 parliament buildings?
Why does the EU have any parliament buildings ?
FRANCE
It is only right that the victors of WWII get a ‘spare’ EU parliament (plus associated employment) on their territory.
I don’t no why they can’t just sign treaties and stuff in that old railway carriage.
He said knowingly.
I’m totterly and utterly disgusted by your cynicism, about the EU, an institution that hasbeen deeply enriching to me and my familty.
When all the ‘boyos’ really do find out about your dirty deeds and fleecing – where you gonna flee to … Neil?
The lead topic at the first Cabinet meeting after my re-shuffle will be
1/ Blackberry or I-Phone ?
We have dithered for far too long on this question and tomorrow will be decisive.
I am delighted to confirm that David Cameron has no plans to bring back John Major into a re-shuffled Cabinet.
Wonder if there’s Laws against Chris Bryant being repeeled ?
Perhaps we the people can adopt those common purpose laws that the South Africans attempted to [they appear to have backed down] to do Maude and his cohorts for their multiple crimes against the taxpayers? We do still have criminal laws of acting in a conspiracy / in concert with others to effect theft fraud and criminality etc.
“I wonder what that might be a metaphor for?”
The germans will pay for the bolts, and botch up a fix, that will hold things together for a few more years.
Workmen have discovered a previously unsuspected crack in my underpinnings.
Needs a good dipping in creosote and treating with mould retardant.
I just stuck my cock in Bevanite Ellie’s hand to test my Erogenous Growth Theory!
Aaaaah Paul-Henri Spaak. The original Eurocrat.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul-Henri_Spaak
Shame it didn’t fall on the fuckers heads!