August 29th, 2012

Bookies Slash Odds on Tory Corby Win With Strauss

Ladbrokes are offering 50/1 that Strauss steps up to the crease and is made the Tory candidate for Corby, with the former England captain 16/1 to beat Andy Sawford and win the seat. A Ladbrokes spokesman said: “If the Tories send Strauss into bat in Corby their odds of securing the seat will tumble“. Only KP running for the LibDems could stop him…

UPDATE: The punters are piling their cash on Strauss for Corby and he is now 25/1 to be the Tory candidate.

UPDATE II: Odds have been slashed again – now 16/1.


248 Comments

  1. 1
    smoggie says:

    Is playing with balls a real job?

  2. 2
    Kebab Time says:

    He actually won 3 Ashes, tho the first in 2005 was when Micheal Vaughan was captain.

  3. 3
    Loopy Lou says:

    Sounds like a cheap publicity stunt which would appeal to Dave.

    Grass root supporters might not be too happy but who cares about them ?

  4. 4
    smoggie says:

    I think they’d be happy if he won.

  5. 5
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    It is according to the Shadow Cabinet.

  6. 6
    Dream Ticket says:

    He could have Kevin Pieterson as his running mate !

  7. 7
    anonymouse says:

    Labour could always bowl him around the wicket.

  8. 8
    robbie says:

    I think he’ll be “out” early on again.

  9. 9
    Maverick Ways says:

    I think you’ll find that Hain has used up our quota of token South Africans.

  10. 10
    Anonymous says:

    The batsman’s Holding; the bowler’s Willie

  11. 11
    They're all the same says:

    And if he has real Tory values surely he should stand for UKIP not the Conservatives.

  12. 12
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    Well, if he does get put in I will be straight onto the betting exchanges to lay him. Nothing against Strauss, but a parachute candidate, no constituency links, who has just let the saffers walk all over us. As a betting man I know a good opportunity to make money from the herd.

  13. 13
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    Where does that Sawford chap get his shirts? It looks like he’s wearing a fucking pedal-bin liner.

  14. 14
    Kebab Time says:

    ” Only KP running for the LibDems could stop him…”

    Tosh!

    KP is more hated then Lib Dems at moment.

  15. 15
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    I believe Strauss has a reputation for being intelligent, honest and pleasant. That rules out UKIP.

  16. 16
    Anonymous says:

    Hopefully this will stump Twatson.

  17. 17
    misterned says:

    definately rules out liberals, labour and conservatives too.

    UKIP is much closer to representing those values than any of the other venal, corrupt, mainstream parties.

  18. 18
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    But KP has achieved something unique – he has got the English and the Saffers to agree on something.

  19. 19
    Backwoodsman says:

    Dave playing his joker ! Would really piss the socialists off if he won ! Stand by for some poor labour saps to get enobled to get Becks & Rooney in.

  20. 20
    smoggie says:

    He looks seriously overweight. No wonder Tom Watson hasn’t been seen beside him.

  21. 21
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    Bit tricky though, what with all those MEPs jailed for dishonesty.

  22. 22
    Fish says:

    Yeah, but he’s not a looney either, so that rules UKIP out. Sorry UKIP, hands off!

  23. 23
    Corby consitutents says:

    No one will vote Liberal with school kid Cleggie in charge alongside “the strange” Simon Hughes.

  24. 24
    Paddy says:

    KP?

    Katie Price? Figures.

  25. 25
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    Perhaps he should found ‘The Cricket Party’. Fair play and all that. Wot?

  26. 26
    They're all the same says:

    Quite right, after all UKIP have failed to deliver the EU referendum they promised us, they’ve brought in the Climate Change Act that will decimate our economy and they’ve let in millions of migrants to fundamentally undermine our society forever.

    Oh, hang on a minute…

  27. 27
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    Rooney is definitely a no no – all those elderly women in parliament would be too tempting – a risk similar to letting Boris loose among a load of women who cannot run away……..oh shit!

  28. 28
    the savant says:

    no but rubbing them against yoUr crotch with
    vigour could be said to be

  29. 29
    smoggie says:

    If they really did line up Strauss then desperate times would call for desperate measures – the Labour Party would have no option but to shove daddy’s boy Sawford out of the way and wheel out the one and only Eddie Izzard.

  30. 30
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    I am sure UKIP would do all that and worse, if they weren’t so busy fiddling their expenses in Strasbourg.

  31. 31
    the savant says:

    obviously from jermyn street

  32. 32
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    Simon Huges makes my flesh crawl.

    I don’t know what it is, but I find the Lib Dems to have quite a few sinisters creeps in their ranks – a disproportinate number.

    The worst of the Labour lot are just comic grotesques you can mock and hoot at but Hughes, Huhne, Cable and chums actually creep me out.

  33. 33
    Meanwhile says:

    The BBC has been accused of stereotyping Muslims in its new sitcom, Citizen Khan.

    The broadcaster has received 185 complaints since the first episode aired on BBC One on Monday, with some claiming it was a “tasteless depiction of Islam”.

    Is there any other ??

  34. 34
    smoggie says:

    I’m afraid the Monster Raving Loony Party has more credibility than UKIP… and a better candidate in Mr Toby Jug.

    I’ll drink to that.

  35. 35
    Sir Geoffrey Boycott says:

    Has Strauss ever been interviewed on anything other than sport? Will he simply tow the party line, and how will that fit in with his image? This could be a disaster for Strauss, for his sake I hope he decides to stay well away from MP’s, they make KP look like Mary Poppins.

  36. 36
    the savant says:

    yes

    that the saffers are the better team

  37. 37
    Sir Menzies Campbell says:

    I thought Eddie Huntard was a Lib Dem lover?

  38. 38
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    I have no idea of his politics, but the Labour Party have been long looking for a true successor to Prescott. Step forward………Mike Gatting.

  39. 39
    Gordon says:

    Could I lay him too please?

  40. 40
    Fat Jacqui and Fat Tony says:

    UKIP fiddling expenses? They’re fookin’ amateurs.

  41. 41
    Jimmy says:

    British jobs for British workers.

  42. 42
    little fruit says:

    Its the closing the eyelids thing he does when making an oh-so-important point that no-one else could possibly have considered. All smug bastards do it.
    Paddy Pantsdown too.

  43. 43
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    Joe: “You look terrible, Mr. Sawford. You look like a bag of shit stuffed in a cheap suit.”

  44. 44
    Ed Miliband (Leader of the Party opposite) says:

    That’s done it.

    If Strauss stands for the Tories,I will persuade Sir Alex Ferguson to stand for Labour.

    It’s a no brainer then.

  45. 45
    Mystic Nutmeg says:

    Sawford looks just right for silly mid off.

  46. 46
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    Bob Neill does it for me. I think it was the photo at his by election which made me assume the worst. I am sure he is a wonderful person but it sure shows the power of the camera.

  47. 47
    citizen Khant says:

    cant someone issue a Fatwa on the head honchos of BBC

  48. 48
    SP4BS says:

    I wonder how cynical the electorate of Corby is feeling about A-list parachutists.

  49. 49
    ed martin says:

    Tory central casting must view the Corby electorate with a special kind of contempt

  50. 50
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    Then we are guaranteed George will never make this mistake. Never a thought passes through his mind.

  51. 51
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    This will end in tears.

  52. 52
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    Nonsense. They view the entire electorate with contempt.

  53. 53
    CORRIGENDUM says:

    ‘definitely

  54. 54
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    Just for balance,I should add that the Conservative party has itsr fair share of sinister creeps too, but they tend to stay on the back benches, or lurk in dark corners, mercifully.

  55. 55
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    Yes, Labour tears. Boo fucking hoo!

  56. 56
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    Never turn down an easy opportunity……..bugger, I’m doing it again.

  57. 57
    P.Mandevilson, the Eminence Greasy says:

    ‘ steps up to the crease ‘

    Something I do every night.

  58. 58
    Jacqueline Dromey says:

    We in the Libor party are shocked.

  59. 59

    How could you miss out Mike Handycock from the list, OTB?

  60. 60
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    Don’t imagine he’s much good at cricket.

  61. 61
    Hon Chris "Baccala" Christie, Governor (R-NJ) says:

    Same place I get mine.

  62. 62
    the stench of hypocrisy says:

    Like Peter Hain?

  63. 63
    Anonymous says:

    UKIP will split the Tory vote it doesn’t matter who they put up, serves the fucker right
    No referendum, gay marrige what next for fuck sake

    goodby Tories go back to years of opposition

  64. 64
  65. 65
    Johnno List says:

    UKIP are literally superheroes placed on earth by the angel Gabriel. I heard that anytime a UKIP member takes a shit, a rainbow appears and 50 people are cured of AIDS.

  66. 66
    Ah! Monika says:

    But does he play with a straight bat?

  67. 67
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    Why? I think it would be jolly good having an Ashes-winning (x2) English cricket captain as my MP.

    Makes a change from the usual Oxbridge PPE and never had a proper job twunts.

  68. 68
    In agreement says:

    A spot-on and mature comment, Ripe Fruit. Half mast eyes + great self-importance make everyone cringe. Hughes should keep his mouth shut (unless he’s still making those midnight phone calls).

  69. 69
    Glenda Jackson says:

    We’d never pick famous people to fight elections.

  70. 70
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    The imams can do it by Twitter now apparently. Should speed the process up.

  71. 71
    Gloria del Piero says:

    No.We wouldn’t dream of insulting the electorate by putting up celebrities.

  72. 72
    Sheikh It'allah-bout says:

    The scene in the second episode, where a Koran gets mixed up with his store of bog paper, causing an hilarious accident, should cause a little controversy.

  73. 73
    Corby analyst says:

    …and Tracey-Temple replace Louise Mensch. Then it would all go even more tits-up.

  74. 74
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    Urrggghhh! Did you have to do that?

  75. 75
    just a thought says:

    And Gisela Stuart?

  76. 76

    What happened to British jobs for Polish workers?

  77. 77
    Sir Peregrine Cholmondley-Smythe says:

    Liberals are famous for not batting straight!

  78. 78

    Well, he won’t be at the pavilion any more.

  79. 79
    Gooey Blob says:

    Strauss is a distraction.

    Corby is a must-win for Labour this far in to an unpopular coalition government. No ifs, no buts, if they are to have any hope of being the largest party after the next election they need to be taking seats like this with huge swings and big majorities. Let’s face it though, Labour ought to be much further ahead in the polls than they currently are.

    If Labour don’t get a decent majority things will again start to look shaky for Miliband and/or Balls. If they fail to even take it, heads will have to roll – and that could mean at the very, very top.

  80. 80
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    I’d love to be a fly on the wall in the scriptwriters’ meetings. Watching them tying themselves in knots trying to make it funny without offending the professionally offended.

  81. 81
    Gooey Blob says:

    Ah, Geoff Hoon in a skirt. Been anywhere near your Ashfield constituency recently?

  82. 82
    Mark Oaten says:

    What about me

  83. 83
    P.Mandevilson, the Eminence Greasy says:

    I’ll be at the crease tonight, batting for the other side.

  84. 84

    FFS Does Dave Cameron really think he is Simon Cowell

    Louise Mensch was supposed to sprinkle a little stardust on the A list selectors and look what happened.

    Dave should stop turning UK politics into the fucking X Factor as it has already bitten him on the arse once in Corby.

    Whatever next? Jessica Ennis standing against Balls in Morley and Outwood?

    Get grip – we’re facing ruin in the rest of the country and Westminster is fiddling down its own pants as usual.

  85. 85
    THE BENN DYNASTY says:

    ‘Son of Labour MP. Never had real job’.

    Wotta shocker !

  86. 86
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    And for being virtuosos of the Pink Oboe.

  87. 87
    Denis MacShameless says:

    and Denis Matyjaszek

  88. 88
    Who reads Finegan's Wake anyway? says:

    Sounds to me like you’re on a bit of a sticky wicket

  89. 89
    Calamity Clegg says:

    Gimme your money !!!! We know how to take care of it. Gimme, gimme, gimme !!!

  90. 90
    Who reads Finegans Wake anyway? says:

    the apostrophe in my name, was of course, a typo

  91. 91
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    Well he may be a big fat bloke, but the shirt actually appears to fit him without looking like a burlap sack.

    Of course, tailoring in the USA is long accustomed to cutting cloth for whale-sized individuals and so have it down to a fine art.

    Sawford’s mum probably got his from Primark (pack of 5 for £15).

  92. 92
    Joss Ayinglike says:

    Why does he love cricket ? ‘The bowler’s Holding, the batsman’s Willey’.

  93. 93
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    Say no more. Really, say no more.

  94. 94
    Forkbender says:

    Guido tha a mouse lad, get thi sen darnt t Conservative HO and demand that tha name is ont selection list, go on tha noes tha want t, think of all that lovely MP troughin, all that cheap booze, and all that cheap food int members restrant, go on lad mek thi move don’t bi a whimp

  95. 95
    Charlie Kennedy says:

    Hic

  96. 96
    Forkbender says:

    has the batsman got very long arms?

  97. 97
    Forkbender says:

    He didn’t go to Eaton

  98. 98
    Jeremy Thorpe says:

    I’m not dead you know!

  99. 99
    Jeremy Thorpe says:

    Jeremy!

    For God’s sake shut up and get back in the attic.

  100. 100
    Aunty Matter says:

    If he took that Cricket bat to the Labour front bench mongs he’d get my vote.

  101. 101
    Jack Straw says:

    Whew! That was a close one!

  102. 102
    Forkbender says:

    You realised the error there with Borus

  103. 103
    Rinka says:

    Woof!

  104. 104
    Forkbender says:

    Gideon has his lopsided leer

  105. 105
    Jimmy says:

    I’m wondering what happened to the traditional guidophile welcome for migrant African workers.

  106. 106
    AC1 says:

    How would he fit into the Dave party without a thorough indoctrination into Keynesian “economics”?

  107. 107
    Irritating Fact says:

    Trouble is the vast majority of ‘migrant African workers’ don’t actually work – at all.

  108. 108
    Forkbender says:

    There’s a wierd bunch behind him are those all his supporters?

  109. 109
    finegan's awake says:

    did yer hear about the barmaid – who, asked for a double entendre, gave the customer one?

  110. 110
    Laughing Out Loud says:

    He looks as if he has been eating too much, and wishes to continue gorging at the expense of the public.

  111. 111
    Jimmy says:

    That’s the one.

  112. 112
    Ash Ken the Question says:

    Just got to say this as it’s been on my mind for a while. I hope no-one accuses Stephen Hawking of miming at the ceremony tonight

  113. 113
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    What’s that got to do with it.

    When this country was civilised, ordinary grammar schools had a fine tradition of cricketing. You didn’t need to go to a private school, let alone Eton to become acquainted with the game.

    Years of socialism took care of that, of course.

  114. 114
    keredybretsa says:

    Well I guess this geez can catch and hold a good few votes!

  115. 115
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    I think it might be the ‘reject cast’ of the muppets.

    The ones the advertisers thought were to horrific to appear on screen.

  116. 116
    Standard Dictionary says:

    They are pizza deliverers waiting for tips

  117. 117
    Blinded by the light says:

    Yet another case of image over ability, it’s the politicians way! Would you have an inexperienced unqualified person operate on your body? No, then why do we have these unqualified, inexperienced media personas running this country or in opposition. Let’s have quality and experience not media image!

  118. 118
    Jimmy says:

    John Hemming. I win.

  119. 119
    EdBallsMutteringIdiot says:

    He wouldn’t ‘tow’ the party line, but he could ‘toe’ the camel in the panty line!

  120. 120
    Irritating Fact says:

    I hereby challenge you to disprove my Irritating Fact*

    *for best effect, that sentence should be read in the voice of Jeremy Clarkson in an echo chamber.

    To substantiate my argument, I will kick of with this…

    Somali-born migrants have the lowest employment rate among all immigrants in the UK.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Somalis_in_the_United_Kingdom#Employment

  121. 121
    Anonymous says:

    Get rid of David Cameron then

  122. 122
    What next ? says:

    Posh and Becks replacing the Bercows

  123. 123
    Anonymous says:

    If it all goes wrong he will have been promised a safe seat and I just wonder if the Association concerned are aware of it.You can’t beat the ‘A’ list can you?

  124. 124
    THE THIRD ROUNDEL says:

    The Tories don`t stand a chance in Corby. Their incredible naievity in parachuting in yet another Cameroon dumbo shows yet again that they have absolutely zero understanding of what Tory-inclined voters are looking and yearning for. Obviously Corby Tories must also be in the dumbo camp for allowing the parachute landing space.

  125. 125
    Blinded by the light says:

    Will do as soon as we can sign up Nigel Farage!

  126. 126
    Actually... says:

    180 of the complaints came from white middle class socialists from Hampstead.

  127. 127
    Anonymous says:

    Too many glib and shallow characters in theTory ranks. They have lost touch with the political aspirations of the voters, and are ownly in touch with the political classes.
    Things will not change until the arrogant Cameron goes – and his cronies too!

  128. 128
    Anonymous says:

    yes, that would be good news.

  129. 129
    HenryV says:

    I would vote for Jessica for her bottom alone.

  130. 130
    Anonymous says:

    yes, that would be good. – the Tories are out of touch with the key political issues, or take an un-Tory view on them.

  131. 131
    Rabbi Burns says:

    So you think the wee, sleekit, cowrin, tim’rous beastie is going to find that the best laid schemes o’ mice an’ men gang aft agley?

  132. 132
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    Bollocks!

    What Corby Conservatives want, more than anything else, is a candidate that will actually WIN the seat.

  133. 133
    A Voter says:

    We’re not in the ‘dumbo camp’, just under the influence of the Tory State control and depersonalisation mist care of P/D!!

  134. 134
    Anonymous says:

    If UKIP have a sane candidate and behave sensibly, they will do well.

  135. 135
    HenryV says:

    I would laugh if this cricket player does win the seat. And laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laughand laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laughand laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laand laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laughand laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laughand laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laughand laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laughand laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laand laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laughand laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laughand laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh………………………….I would honest.

  136. 136
    Anonymous says:

    Yes you can if you try but it requires local activists to assert themselves – the problem is that most of them are non-political.

  137. 137
    Anonymous says:

    Only with a baseball bat!!

  138. 138
    Anonymous says:

    Caroline Flint MP – Possible Defector or just a Tory Mole?!!!!

  139. 139
    Anonymous says:

    that won`t be a Cameron protegee then.

  140. 140
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    LOLs to you Sir.

  141. 141
    Anonymous says:

    their `want` is impossible to accomplish while the present clique control the Party.

  142. 142
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    That would be the Guardian editorial staff.

  143. 143
    A thespian says:

    Yes Hal, she really does the bard justice.

  144. 144
    Anonymous says:

    lousy, just like Julie Kirkbride

  145. 145
    Dedicated Follower of Fashion says:

    I see lots of them (many speaking French) in T K Maxx near where I live, all loading their trollies absolutely full of ‘designer’ clothes-what’s going on?

  146. 146
    Mitt Romney's Friends and Family says:

    WE are the people behind “American Prezza-dent.”
    We resemble that remark.

  147. 147
    Irritating Fact says:

    The USA now leads the world in pregnancies resulting from incest.

  148. 148
    Ivor Tapeworm says:

    If people vote for him because of his cricketing skills, it just shows what a nation of hapless fuckwits we are.

  149. 149
    AC1 says:

    Matt Frei on Channel 4 news. Wow, he’s SOOO biased it’s unbelievable!

  150. 150
    Irritating Fact says:

    What’s going on is that your tax money, and mine, are helping them to fill those trolleys with the worthless shite they worship.

    Site, back, relax and enjoy the smell of your culture being ‘enriched’.

  151. 151
    JH says:

    Yeth! Tory sthcum Tory scthum!

    But seriously…

    You lot are fucking pathetic. Sneers are all you have left.

  152. 152
    A Merchant of Menace says:

    Verily she hath a way with her.

  153. 153
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    If he does get elected he is a natural pair for Nick Hurd.

  154. 154
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    In terms of probability that one is on a par with Ann Widdicombe announcing that she is pregnant by the ghost of Aleister Crowley and looking forward to the birth.

  155. 155
    Anonymous says:

    Britain’s got no talent.
    Tories replace one celebrity with another??? Guido has been watching too much X factor…

  156. 156
    Prescott's chipolata says:

    Now you’re talking.

  157. 157
    Infanta of Castile says:

    Most of us end up voting for candidates with considerably less claim to competence than Andrew Strauss. Why should a career as a journalist, party political researcher, PR practitioner etc. fit someone for office better than being a successful international cricket captain?

  158. 158
    Lou Scannon says:

    He’s got it on a chain.

  159. 159
    Jeff Foxworthy says:

    “If your family tree doesn’t branch, you MIGHT be a Redneck…”

  160. 160
    Cas Hewkola says:

    Nuts !

  161. 161
    Weather Geek says:

    O/T – Monbiot wanted flooding? He got flooding:

    These houses are outside the main New Orleans protection scheme but still…we shouldn’t crow about living below sea level.

    Did someone say ‘Thames Gateway’?

  162. 162
    Norman Stanley Fletcher says:

    Or Vermin Street, in the case of “our” underworked and overpaid MPs.

  163. 163
    Reality check says:

    More chance of them ending up with Strauss-Kahn.

  164. 164
    Anonymous says:

    or how about rubbing dirt into balls?

  165. 165
    Norman Stanley Fletcher says:

    What the hell was a professional misery guts like you doing on the Morecambe & Wise Show? Oh, of course, grabbing any earner that happened along, as practice for your time in Wastemonster.

  166. 166
    £145-50 says:

    Currently watch ‘The Flower Pot Gang’ on the BBC, it’s fucking brilliant!

  167. 167
    Norman Stanley Fletcher says:

    What the fuck does that mean in English, you charmless Cel’ic nerk?

  168. 168
    T Summer says:

    Are the Paralytic Games over yet ?

  169. 169
    Anonymous says:

    He would be excellent as a Conservative MP, who is the labour man with the bad hair ?

  170. 170
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    The late “sick comic” Sam Kinison, circa late 80’s: “While we’re out here delivering this famine relief food, could we have a small word with you? Is it possible the reason you’re having a famine, that you haven’t been able to grow anything, is because you live in SAND? And without rain, all you’re ever going to have is SAND? And the reason you have all this SAND is that you’re living in the middle of the DESERT? Why can’t you just MOVE?”

    Sam Kinison if he were alive in 2012: “Is it possible that the reason you need all these levees and pumping stations is that you’re below SEA LEVEL? And as long as you keep building on land that’s below SEA LEVEL, you’ll ALWAYS need levees and pumping stations? Why don’t you just STOP BUILDING, or else START LANDFILLING?”

  171. 171
    Joss Ayinglike says:

    No. Go on then….

  172. 172
    Some Twat up North says:

    Thats where I get mine 4 for a hundred quid or one small child

  173. 173
    Enemy of the State says:

    This election should surely produce Nigel Farage as the UKIP candidate? After all UKIP are ineffective and useless in the EP. The only legislation which can effectively free the UK from the EU would be enacted in the Commons. I suspect Farage is too scared because if UKIP only polled say 9% or at best 18% he would have shown that UKIP is not effective as a Party in Westminster. I think he should stand and if he loses as badly as he has in the past, close UKIP, place coffin lids on the seats in the EP where UKIP presently takes seats, and join the Conservative Party and take it over rather as the communists took over the Unions in the seventies and the BBC since its inception.

  174. 174
    Charles Twit says:

    Thats correct, however, we have stopped trading in children for shirts. They are far too demanding and harder to train than those Indian Johnnies.

  175. 175
    Calamity Clegg says:

    This is the leader of the LibDemon highwayman club. Stand and deliver !!!

    Give me your money !!!

  176. 176
    REALITY CHECK says:

    Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm….

  177. 177
    Petra Mandelsnake says:

    I am always honest and share my emotions fully with my victims ( oops lovers)

  178. 178
    Some Twat up North says:

    Passed fit by Atos but still paid unlike the genuine paralympians

  179. 179
    Alan Morrisons Hansen says:

    Pace, Power, Precision… Thats Bacon Face.

  180. 180

    ‘Scuse me! Handycock trumps Hemming.

    The Labour party is full of Hemming types and, to be fair, so are the Cons.

  181. 181
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    Or Silvio Strauss-Johnson.

  182. 182
    Fabians are Evil says:

    I’m free

  183. 183
    Some Twat up North says:

    I had some hunt come bothering, who said repeadetly that his quali’s were that he was a school teacher… When presented with my points of view, he retorted, I don’t want an argument.

    I replied, you are not much fucking use to me then you Hunt, get of moi land. The feckless fucker then fucked off, to teach/indoctrinate his charges without the knowledge of their parents.

    The upside, he didn’t get elected!

    We got a self centred, self opionated, probably lesbian labour jessie who avoids all contact with her employers.

  184. 184
    Liam Byrne ( aka Baldemort ) says:

    There’s no money left.

  185. 185
    Some Twat up North says:

    And the Brown Tuba?

  186. 186
    Some Twat up North says:

    They got Mensch in, go figure.

    Meat pie, sausage roll, come Corby giz a goal.

  187. 187
    Your Friendly Neighbourhood Poetic Scots Translation Service says:

    “D’ya think the rat’s gonna suss out that ‘shit happens’?”

  188. 188
    DZ says:

    Cameron isn’t going to do shit

    He has posh boy guilt

  189. 189
    AC1 says:

    Tim Yeo isn’t shallow and Glib, he’s simply a corrupt rent-seeker.

  190. 190
    Jimmy says:

    Have to disagree with you. Not even the tories have anyone this bad. MPs inevitably attract oddballs at war with the world. Hemming is the only one who actively seeks them out and encourages them. He is parliamentary spokesman for tinfoil hat wearers everywhere.

  191. 191
    Fabians are Evil says:

    Balls and his Hero Brown sing a little song.

  192. 192
    Sandy Jamieson says:

    So run this one ast me again- in the one English Constutuency that has the highest scots population with the possible exception of Berwick, Dave wants to put up the former England Cricket Captain.

    Madness!!!!!

  193. 193
    Blowing Whistles says:

    To Tristram – Ref “MEP’s jailed …”

    The Ashley Mote case – was a ‘greatly fitted up’ matter. Having been privy to some of the docs – The CPS Prosecutor and even Mote’s own Defence Barrister – ‘played out a real Act!’ – Even his own Barrister -‘sold him out’. But whats new when Defence and Prosecution Barristers – are suborned (They willing suborn – for the money) under the ‘Overriding Objective’? Again – secrets … they ain’t no more.

  194. 194

    Just a minute! I cannot believe you are saying this. You cannot be our dear resident Marxist troll. You are another Jimmy aren’t you?

    Why do you have a WordPress site with absolutely nothing on it?

    Jimmy Sands?

    Not our normal Jimmy. We want our normal, oddball, unreasonable Jimmy back! :-)

  195. 195
    Blowing Whistles says:

    ARRrr butt Matt Frie …. – yes indeed.

  196. 196

    Is Harriet Harman’s twat bald?

  197. 197
    Anonymous says:

    Do you think they would prefer the fatty with the bad haircut instead ? no, nether do i.

  198. 198
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Hemming’s day’s as fezzing up ‘pretending to squeal and rail against’ the sickos running the family courts are all but over – he’s been a very good servant at keeping all the matters – kicked into the long grass …

    He and his honcho mates (Especially one law firm with a daddy and daughter combo) are and have been protecting the bent judiciary – and all pedos therein and below.

  199. 199
    Jimmy says:

    I think the wordpress was to log into something. I’m a little hazy on it.

    Et je suis marxiste, tendance Groucho.

  200. 200
    Jimmy says:

    That’s the problem with courting nutters. You’re a very fickle constituency.

  201. 201
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Harman should be classified as a ‘vexatious litigant / politician’ for all the Harm she has caused. She will pay.

  202. 202
    Maxwell's Silver Hammer says:

    Afraid not. Just been watching the opening ceremony. As boring as the other one. Girls with the transparent umbrellas make it worth watching, though. Definitely not disabled.

  203. 203

    Oh! Well welcome anyway.

    It is going to be a bit confusing to have two Jimmys with rather different Marxian credentials but I suppose we will manage…

    The world would not be in such a snarl,
    Had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.

    Irving Berlin (can you fuckin’ believe it???!!!)

  204. 204
    AC1 says:

    If it means people in hampstead and islington can choose from a wider range of restaurants it’s worth any price the lower classes ill pay in crime, unemployment_taxation.

  205. 205
  206. 206
    WVM says:

    It must be cat or her strap on would chafe to much.

  207. 207
    Jimmy says:

    I have a couple of spoofers, sadly only very occasionally funny.

  208. 208
    A gA tory's idea of a member of the working class. says:

    Gawd bless you guv’nor. I always says ‘ow it’s the toffs what really cares for us.

  209. 209
    A tory's idea of a member of the working class. says:

    Gawd bless you guv’nor. I always says ‘ow it’s the toffs what really cares for us.

  210. 210
    Mrs Havisham says:

    He won’t win. The public must be aching to give the Coalition a bloody nose.

  211. 211
    Hey Lordy, pick a bale of cotton. says:

    Yvette thinks so.

  212. 212
    Hey Lordy, pick a bale of cotton. says:

    Didn’t a Somalian runner (Mohammed summat)? pretend to be British at a sporting ju-fest recently?
    No doubt happily supported in his efforts by lots of lottery money.
    He must be classified as employed, though.

  213. 213
    Hey Lordy, pick a bale of cotton. says:

    But he ain’t ENGLISH, is he?

  214. 214
    Hey Lordy, pick a bale of cotton. says:

    You mean the Limpy Games, don’t you?
    I wonder how many blue badge parking spaces they’ve made for the competitors?

  215. 215
  216. 216
    albacore says:

    You couldn’t, of course, be referring to Jack
    And an unfortunate tonsorial lack
    He does seem to err to the slaphead persuasion
    Whereas Harriet’s bag’s more the pudding basin

  217. 217
    Jack Dromey MP says:

    You just think you’re being ever-so-clever with that remark. First time I’ve heard that one– TODAY, FFS! Come up with a new one if you’re going to try to take the mickey out of us.

  218. 218
    A typical statement from a fuckwit who cant think for himself watch says:

    Only because the countries with bigger populations dont release their figures !

  219. 219
    SLOTGOB says:

    Tell Calamity Clegg to do one with his idea of taxing the rich.

    Cherie’s £75m private health empire based in a tax haven… which she’s setting up with a Right-wing friend of Sarah Palin

    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-2189982/Cherie-s-75m-private-health-empire-based-tax-haven–s-setting-Right-wing-friend-Sarah-Palin.html#ixzz24ycmmAIk

  220. 220
    J.Edgar Electrolux says:

    Well said Infanta.

  221. 221
    Blowing Whistles says:

    They’re thicko Americans aren’t they?

  222. 222
    Fulton McKay says:

    Fletcher get back in your cell for more bum sex with bubba, you utter wanker

  223. 223
    Blowing Whistles says:

    So there’s a Jimmy Jekyl and a Jimmy Hyde … – that old split personality – who doesn’t know night from day save a whole lot else.

  224. 224

    What? Something like you just think you’re being ever-so-clever sharing a bed with her? That is taking union leadership a bit far.

  225. 225
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Are you Jimmy Jekyl or Jimmy Hyde? Your Labour socialist marxist zioloon friends are no different from their tory deluded counterparts.

    Wake up Jimmy – you’ve been “living a great big fat lie”.

  226. 226
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Mong – you are a duplicitous Scottish Advocate barristard – you have been for all of your pitiful lying life. Ask the Dean of the Faculty of Advocates – if your whole legal ruse wasn’t – outed about 5 years ago. You Numbnuts senile old duffer. And give Lady Dorian a 2 fingerd salute for me when you meet her next.

  227. 227
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Old Tony Bliar – should be very careful of snipers.

  228. 228
    oh no, dont pick on the Irish... says:

    Irish wheelchair team have been discovered using performance enhancing products..WD40

  229. 229
    J.Edgar Electrolux says:

    We used to get a few reasonable types who could earn a living in the real world; these used to nip along after the day job for a few minutes and put in their two penn’orth.
    But it seems that isn’t a sufficiently non-discriminatory approach, what with working female MP’s needing to get home and prepare the kiddies tea.

  230. 230
    splooge says:

    All the parties have creeps – but the LibDems really are unsettlingly creepy.

    In fact the only non-LibDem that truly manages to achieve LibDem levels of creeeeeepyness is Peter Mandelson.

  231. 231
    Cherie says:

    It’s a fair cop. Thought I’d sneak one by, but no joy.

  232. 232
    Anonymous says:

    great comment…nothing more to add

  233. 233
    Time to be real. says:

    That Spaz olympic show was pure corn

  234. 234
    not a machine says:

    I am still recovering at the shock of finding out how it works , and the creatures that inhabit it .

  235. 235
    rocknrolla says:

    everyone needs to google mia love – she gave an amazing speech at the RNC. Its good to see a conservative with balls, even if she is a beautiful woman. Democrats respond by calling her a house n****er and other things on wiki. Really. The left are such scum.

    Has the BBC reported this?

  236. 236
    Nige says:

    I suggest you leave politics to the grown-ups.

  237. 237
    Nige says:

    C’mon why not give us another diatribe on how the bankers caused the massif deficit innit in Briton woh was the final nail in da coffin after Fatcha’s destruction of manufacturin industry an’ stuff all bein part of the estaberlisments onslaught on the workin class?

  238. 238
    Nige says:

    ..not to mention his man management and tactical skills, stamina, honesty, integrity, intelligence. Yes, surely unfit to be an MP.

  239. 239
    Leiber voters are backward r says:

    Seconded Infanta – and sod off Ivor!

  240. 240
    Anonymous says:

    Seconded OTB. Lib Dumps are a nasty, sle*zy little party. Bet they all have a tube of Smarties in their pockets.

  241. 241
    Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    Is ‘sick’ the new common sense?

  242. 242
    UKIP.i.am.awake says:

    You are Lord Kinnock and I claim £5. But don’t worry you will still have £1,999,995 left from your annual EU bribe.

  243. 243
    Procrustes says:

    Corby will get the MP it deserves;having tried the voting for totty approach in 2010, it will now revert to type and may elect the local lad. However it’s a marginal constituenecy because part of it included East Northants which votes blue and the other bit is red Corby.

    Good ground for labour though, c 40% of the population have no educational qualifications..all they have to do is hand out the Special Brew and it will be a landslide.

  244. 244
    David Flunkett says:

    The sickth sense, shurely ?

  245. 245
    Nutty says:

    At least the Monster Raving Loony Party admit they are loony, this surely makes Toby Jug the most honest candidate.

  246. 246
    oddly helpful says:

    Fletch, with no telly in your cell (or a khazi, come to that) their glory years might have passed you by.

    Playing high culture off against their end-of-pier-show wit was their trademark, years before that Jerry Springer musical came along. Bit of a sort in her day, as well, you’ll remember…

  247. 247
    Biffo says:

    I’d rather have Posh & Becks than the Bercows to be honest.

  248. 248
    Biffo says:

    Ah but Corby’s ‘oop North’ where they all vote Labour because their grandfathers – and THEIR grandfathers – all voted Labour. Louise Mensch’s win was an aberration caused by a rush of blood to the groins of the male voters.


Seen Elsewhere

New Tory, New Danger | Laura Perrins
UKIP Could Work With Dave If Price is Right | Douglas Carswell
Cops Catch Crims With B.O. Test | Techno Guido
Bashir’s “False Account” to His Own Lawyers | Times
Injustice of Tax Avoidance Hysteria | City AM
The New Puritans | Alex Wickham
UKIP on 23% With Survation | Mirror
UKIP Could Deal With Dave | Douglas Carswell
Tories Would Lower Benefit Cap | Telegraph
Bashir Twitter Meltdown | Mirror
Bashir is a Wrong’un | Norman Tebbit


Find out more about PLMR AD-MS


George Galloway says of his former Respect candidate the UKIP MEP turned Tory, Amjad Bashir…

“Clearly Bashir does not have any real political principles or commitment, only naked opportunism and self-interest. He represents the revolving door principle in politics. The Tories are welcome to him because he will cause them embarrassment. Fortunately Respect was able to act before he did it to us.”


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