August 29th, 2012

Bookies Slash Odds on Tory Corby Win With Strauss

Ladbrokes are offering 50/1 that Strauss steps up to the crease and is made the Tory candidate for Corby, with the former England captain 16/1 to beat Andy Sawford and win the seat. A Ladbrokes spokesman said: “If the Tories send Strauss into bat in Corby their odds of securing the seat will tumble“. Only KP running for the LibDems could stop him…

UPDATE: The punters are piling their cash on Strauss for Corby and he is now 25/1 to be the Tory candidate.

UPDATE II: Odds have been slashed again – now 16/1.


  1. 1
    smoggie says:

    Is playing with balls a real job?

    • 5
      Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

      It is according to the Shadow Cabinet.

      • 84

        FFS Does Dave Cameron really think he is Simon Cowell

        Louise Mensch was supposed to sprinkle a little stardust on the A list selectors and look what happened.

        Dave should stop turning UK politics into the fucking X Factor as it has already bitten him on the arse once in Corby.

        Whatever next? Jessica Ennis standing against Balls in Morley and Outwood?

        Get grip – we’re facing ruin in the rest of the country and Westminster is fiddling down its own pants as usual.

    • 11
      They're all the same says:

      And if he has real Tory values surely he should stand for UKIP not the Conservatives.

      • 15
        Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

        I believe Strauss has a reputation for being intelligent, honest and pleasant. That rules out UKIP.

        • 17
          misterned says:

          definately rules out liberals, labour and conservatives too.

          UKIP is much closer to representing those values than any of the other venal, corrupt, mainstream parties.

          • Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

            Bit tricky though, what with all those MEPs jailed for dishonesty.

          • Fish says:

            Yeah, but he’s not a looney either, so that rules UKIP out. Sorry UKIP, hands off!

          • Old Tory Bigot says:

            Perhaps he should found ‘The Cricket Party’. Fair play and all that. Wot?

          • CORRIGENDUM says:


          • P.Mandevilson, the Eminence Greasy says:

            ‘ steps up to the crease ‘

            Something I do every night.

          • Johnno List says:

            UKIP are literally superheroes placed on earth by the angel Gabriel. I heard that anytime a UKIP member takes a shit, a rainbow appears and 50 people are cured of AIDS.

          • Blowing Whistles says:

            To Tristram – Ref “MEP’s jailed …”

            The Ashley Mote case – was a ‘greatly fitted up’ matter. Having been privy to some of the docs – The CPS Prosecutor and even Mote’s own Defence Barrister – ‘played out a real Act!’ – Even his own Barrister -’sold him out’. But whats new when Defence and Prosecution Barristers – are suborned (They willing suborn – for the money) under the ‘Overriding Objective’? Again – secrets … they ain’t no more.

        • 26
          They're all the same says:

          Quite right, after all UKIP have failed to deliver the EU referendum they promised us, they’ve brought in the Climate Change Act that will decimate our economy and they’ve let in millions of migrants to fundamentally undermine our society forever.

          Oh, hang on a minute…

          • Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

            I am sure UKIP would do all that and worse, if they weren’t so busy fiddling their expenses in Strasbourg.

          • smoggie says:

            I’m afraid the Monster Raving Loony Party has more credibility than UKIP… and a better candidate in Mr Toby Jug.

            I’ll drink to that.

          • Fat Jacqui and Fat Tony says:

            UKIP fiddling expenses? They’re fookin’ amateurs.

          • Nutty says:

            At least the Monster Raving Loony Party admit they are loony, this surely makes Toby Jug the most honest candidate.

        • 63
          Anonymous says:

          UKIP will split the Tory vote it doesn’t matter who they put up, serves the fucker right
          No referendum, gay marrige what next for fuck sake

          goodby Tories go back to years of opposition

        • 169
          Anonymous says:

          He would be excellent as a Conservative MP, who is the labour man with the bad hair ?

      • 232
        Anonymous says:

        great comment…nothing more to add

    • 28
      the savant says:

      no but rubbing them against yoUr crotch with
      vigour could be said to be

    • 79
      Gooey Blob says:

      Strauss is a distraction.

      Corby is a must-win for Labour this far in to an unpopular coalition government. No ifs, no buts, if they are to have any hope of being the largest party after the next election they need to be taking seats like this with huge swings and big majorities. Let’s face it though, Labour ought to be much further ahead in the polls than they currently are.

      If Labour don’t get a decent majority things will again start to look shaky for Miliband and/or Balls. If they fail to even take it, heads will have to roll – and that could mean at the very, very top.

      • 135
        HenryV says:

        I would laugh if this cricket player does win the seat. And laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laughand laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laughand laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laand laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laughand laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laughand laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laughand laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laughand laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laand laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laughand laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laughand laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh………………………….I would honest.

    • 149
      AC1 says:

      Matt Frei on Channel 4 news. Wow, he’s SOOO biased it’s unbelievable!

    • 211
      Hey Lordy, pick a bale of cotton. says:

      Yvette thinks so.

    • 235
      rocknrolla says:

      everyone needs to google mia love – she gave an amazing speech at the RNC. Its good to see a conservative with balls, even if she is a beautiful woman. Democrats respond by calling her a house n****er and other things on wiki. Really. The left are such scum.

      Has the BBC reported this?

  2. 2
    Kebab Time says:

    He actually won 3 Ashes, tho the first in 2005 was when Micheal Vaughan was captain.

  3. 3
    Loopy Lou says:

    Sounds like a cheap publicity stunt which would appeal to Dave.

    Grass root supporters might not be too happy but who cares about them ?

    • 4
      smoggie says:

      I think they’d be happy if he won.

      • 48
        SP4BS says:

        I wonder how cynical the electorate of Corby is feeling about A-list parachutists.

        • 148
          Ivor Tapeworm says:

          If people vote for him because of his cricketing skills, it just shows what a nation of hapless fuckwits we are.

          • Infanta of Castile says:

            Most of us end up voting for candidates with considerably less claim to competence than Andrew Strauss. Why should a career as a journalist, party political researcher, PR practitioner etc. fit someone for office better than being a successful international cricket captain?

          • J.Edgar Electrolux says:

            Well said Infanta.

          • Nige says:

            ..not to mention his man management and tactical skills, stamina, honesty, integrity, intelligence. Yes, surely unfit to be an MP.

          • Leiber voters are backward r says:

            Seconded Infanta – and sod off Ivor!

    • 197
      Anonymous says:

      Do you think they would prefer the fatty with the bad haircut instead ? no, nether do i.

      • 248
        Biffo says:

        Ah but Corby’s ‘oop North’ where they all vote Labour because their grandfathers – and THEIR grandfathers – all voted Labour. Louise Mensch’s win was an aberration caused by a rush of blood to the groins of the male voters.

  4. 6
    Dream Ticket says:

    He could have Kevin Pieterson as his running mate !

  5. 7
    anonymouse says:

    Labour could always bowl him around the wicket.

    • 94
      Forkbender says:

      Guido tha a mouse lad, get thi sen darnt t Conservative HO and demand that tha name is ont selection list, go on tha noes tha want t, think of all that lovely MP troughin, all that cheap booze, and all that cheap food int members restrant, go on lad mek thi move don’t bi a whimp

  6. 8
    robbie says:

    I think he’ll be “out” early on again.

  7. 9
    Maverick Ways says:

    I think you’ll find that Hain has used up our quota of token South Africans.

  8. 10
    Anonymous says:

    The batsman’s Holding; the bowler’s Willie

  9. 12
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    Well, if he does get put in I will be straight onto the betting exchanges to lay him. Nothing against Strauss, but a parachute candidate, no constituency links, who has just let the saffers walk all over us. As a betting man I know a good opportunity to make money from the herd.

  10. 13
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    Where does that Sawford chap get his shirts? It looks like he’s wearing a fucking pedal-bin liner.

    • 20
      smoggie says:

      He looks seriously overweight. No wonder Tom Watson hasn’t been seen beside him.

      • 60
        Old Tory Bigot says:

        Don’t imagine he’s much good at cricket.

        • 97
          Forkbender says:

          He didn’t go to Eaton

          • Laughing Out Loud says:

            He looks as if he has been eating too much, and wishes to continue gorging at the expense of the public.

          • Old Tory Bigot says:

            What’s that got to do with it.

            When this country was civilised, ordinary grammar schools had a fine tradition of cricketing. You didn’t need to go to a private school, let alone Eton to become acquainted with the game.

            Years of socialism took care of that, of course.

    • 31
      the savant says:

      obviously from jermyn street

      • 43
        Old Tory Bigot says:

        Joe: “You look terrible, Mr. Sawford. You look like a bag of shit stuffed in a cheap suit.”

      • 162
        Norman Stanley Fletcher says:

        Or Vermin Street, in the case of “our” underworked and overpaid MPs.

      • 172
        Some Twat up North says:

        Thats where I get mine 4 for a hundred quid or one small child

        • 174
          Charles Twit says:

          Thats correct, however, we have stopped trading in children for shirts. They are far too demanding and harder to train than those Indian Johnnies.

    • 61
      Hon Chris "Baccala" Christie, Governor (R-NJ) says:

      Same place I get mine.

      • 91
        Old Tory Bigot says:

        Well he may be a big fat bloke, but the shirt actually appears to fit him without looking like a burlap sack.

        Of course, tailoring in the USA is long accustomed to cutting cloth for whale-sized individuals and so have it down to a fine art.

        Sawford’s mum probably got his from Primark (pack of 5 for £15).

      • 108
        Forkbender says:

        There’s a wierd bunch behind him are those all his supporters?

  11. 14
    Kebab Time says:

    ” Only KP running for the LibDems could stop him…”


    KP is more hated then Lib Dems at moment.

  12. 16
    Anonymous says:

    Hopefully this will stump Twatson.

  13. 19
    Backwoodsman says:

    Dave playing his joker ! Would really piss the socialists off if he won ! Stand by for some poor labour saps to get enobled to get Becks & Rooney in.

    • 27
      Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

      Rooney is definitely a no no – all those elderly women in parliament would be too tempting – a risk similar to letting Boris loose among a load of women who cannot run away……..oh shit!

  14. 23
    Corby consitutents says:

    No one will vote Liberal with school kid Cleggie in charge alongside “the strange” Simon Hughes.

    • 32
      Old Tory Bigot says:

      Simon Huges makes my flesh crawl.

      I don’t know what it is, but I find the Lib Dems to have quite a few sinisters creeps in their ranks – a disproportinate number.

      The worst of the Labour lot are just comic grotesques you can mock and hoot at but Hughes, Huhne, Cable and chums actually creep me out.

      • 42
        little fruit says:

        Its the closing the eyelids thing he does when making an oh-so-important point that no-one else could possibly have considered. All smug bastards do it.
        Paddy Pantsdown too.

        • 50
          Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

          Then we are guaranteed George will never make this mistake. Never a thought passes through his mind.

        • 68
          In agreement says:

          A spot-on and mature comment, Ripe Fruit. Half mast eyes + great self-importance make everyone cringe. Hughes should keep his mouth shut (unless he’s still making those midnight phone calls).

      • 46
        Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

        Bob Neill does it for me. I think it was the photo at his by election which made me assume the worst. I am sure he is a wonderful person but it sure shows the power of the camera.

      • 54
        Old Tory Bigot says:

        Just for balance,I should add that the Conservative party has itsr fair share of sinister creeps too, but they tend to stay on the back benches, or lurk in dark corners, mercifully.

        • 230
          splooge says:

          All the parties have creeps – but the LibDems really are unsettlingly creepy.

          In fact the only non-LibDem that truly manages to achieve LibDem levels of creeeeeepyness is Peter Mandelson.

      • 59

        How could you miss out Mike Handycock from the list, OTB?

        • 74
          Old Tory Bigot says:

          Urrggghhh! Did you have to do that?

        • 198
          Blowing Whistles says:

          Hemming’s day’s as fezzing up ‘pretending to squeal and rail against’ the sickos running the family courts are all but over – he’s been a very good servant at keeping all the matters – kicked into the long grass …

          He and his honcho mates (Especially one law firm with a daddy and daughter combo) are and have been protecting the bent judiciary – and all pedos therein and below.

          • Jimmy says:

            That’s the problem with courting nutters. You’re a very fickle constituency.

          • Blowing Whistles says:

            Are you Jimmy Jekyl or Jimmy Hyde? Your Labour socialist marxist zioloon friends are no different from their tory deluded counterparts.

            Wake up Jimmy – you’ve been “living a great big fat lie”.

      • 177
        Petra Mandelsnake says:

        I am always honest and share my emotions fully with my victims ( oops lovers)

      • 240
        Anonymous says:

        Seconded OTB. Lib Dumps are a nasty, sle*zy little party. Bet they all have a tube of Smarties in their pockets.

  15. 24
    Paddy says:


    Katie Price? Figures.

  16. 29
    smoggie says:

    If they really did line up Strauss then desperate times would call for desperate measures – the Labour Party would have no option but to shove daddy’s boy Sawford out of the way and wheel out the one and only Eddie Izzard.

    • 37
      Sir Menzies Campbell says:

      I thought Eddie Huntard was a Lib Dem lover?

      • 226
        Blowing Whistles says:

        Mong – you are a duplicitous Scottish Advocate barristard – you have been for all of your pitiful lying life. Ask the Dean of the Faculty of Advocates – if your whole legal ruse wasn’t – outed about 5 years ago. You Numbnuts senile old duffer. And give Lady Dorian a 2 fingerd salute for me when you meet her next.

    • 38
      Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

      I have no idea of his politics, but the Labour Party have been long looking for a true successor to Prescott. Step forward………Mike Gatting.

  17. 33
    Meanwhile says:

    The BBC has been accused of stereotyping Muslims in its new sitcom, Citizen Khan.

    The broadcaster has received 185 complaints since the first episode aired on BBC One on Monday, with some claiming it was a “tasteless depiction of Islam”.

    Is there any other ??

  18. 35
    Sir Geoffrey Boycott says:

    Has Strauss ever been interviewed on anything other than sport? Will he simply tow the party line, and how will that fit in with his image? This could be a disaster for Strauss, for his sake I hope he decides to stay well away from MP’s, they make KP look like Mary Poppins.

    • 119
      EdBallsMutteringIdiot says:

      He wouldn’t ‘tow’ the party line, but he could ‘toe’ the camel in the panty line!

  19. 41
    Jimmy says:

    British jobs for British workers.

    • 62
      the stench of hypocrisy says:

      Like Peter Hain?

    • 76

      What happened to British jobs for Polish workers?

      • 105
        Jimmy says:

        I’m wondering what happened to the traditional guidophile welcome for migrant African workers.

        • 107
          Irritating Fact says:

          Trouble is the vast majority of ‘migrant African workers’ don’t actually work – at all.

          • Jimmy says:

            That’s the one.

          • Irritating Fact says:

            I hereby challenge you to disprove my Irritating Fact*

            *for best effect, that sentence should be read in the voice of Jeremy Clarkson in an echo chamber.

            To substantiate my argument, I will kick of with this…

            Somali-born migrants have the lowest employment rate among all immigrants in the UK.


          • Dedicated Follower of Fashion says:

            I see lots of them (many speaking French) in T K Maxx near where I live, all loading their trollies absolutely full of ‘designer’ clothes-what’s going on?

          • Irritating Fact says:

            What’s going on is that your tax money, and mine, are helping them to fill those trolleys with the worthless shite they worship.

            Site, back, relax and enjoy the smell of your culture being ‘enriched’.

          • Some Twat up North says:

            Passed fit by Atos but still paid unlike the genuine paralympians

          • AC1 says:

            If it means people in hampstead and islington can choose from a wider range of restaurants it’s worth any price the lower classes ill pay in crime, unemployment_taxation.

          • A tory's idea of a member of the working class. says:

            Gawd bless you guv’nor. I always says ‘ow it’s the toffs what really cares for us.

          • Hey Lordy, pick a bale of cotton. says:

            Didn’t a Somalian runner (Mohammed summat)? pretend to be British at a sporting ju-fest recently?
            No doubt happily supported in his efforts by lots of lottery money.
            He must be classified as employed, though.

  20. 44
    Ed Miliband (Leader of the Party opposite) says:

    That’s done it.

    If Strauss stands for the Tories,I will persuade Sir Alex Ferguson to stand for Labour.

    It’s a no brainer then.

  21. 45
    Mystic Nutmeg says:

    Sawford looks just right for silly mid off.

  22. 49
    ed martin says:

    Tory central casting must view the Corby electorate with a special kind of contempt

    • 52
      Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

      Nonsense. They view the entire electorate with contempt.

      • 58
        Jacqueline Dromey says:

        We in the Libor party are shocked.

        • 69
          Glenda Jackson says:

          We’d never pick famous people to fight elections.

          • Norman Stanley Fletcher says:

            What the hell was a professional misery guts like you doing on the Morecambe & Wise Show? Oh, of course, grabbing any earner that happened along, as practice for your time in Wastemonster.

          • oddly helpful says:

            Fletch, with no telly in your cell (or a khazi, come to that) their glory years might have passed you by.

            Playing high culture off against their end-of-pier-show wit was their trademark, years before that Jerry Springer musical came along. Bit of a sort in her day, as well, you’ll remember…

    • 67
      Old Tory Bigot says:

      Why? I think it would be jolly good having an Ashes-winning (x2) English cricket captain as my MP.

      Makes a change from the usual Oxbridge PPE and never had a proper job twunts.

      • 106
        AC1 says:

        How would he fit into the Dave party without a thorough indoctrination into Keynesian “economics”?

      • 183
        Some Twat up North says:

        I had some hunt come bothering, who said repeadetly that his quali’s were that he was a school teacher… When presented with my points of view, he retorted, I don’t want an argument.

        I replied, you are not much fucking use to me then you Hunt, get of moi land. The feckless fucker then fucked off, to teach/indoctrinate his charges without the knowledge of their parents.

        The upside, he didn’t get elected!

        We got a self centred, self opionated, probably lesbian labour jessie who avoids all contact with her employers.

      • 213
        Hey Lordy, pick a bale of cotton. says:

        But he ain’t ENGLISH, is he?

  23. 51
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    This will end in tears.

    • 55
      Old Tory Bigot says:

      Yes, Labour tears. Boo fucking hoo!

    • 237
      Nige says:

      C’mon why not give us another diatribe on how the bankers caused the massif deficit innit in Briton woh was the final nail in da coffin after Fatcha’s destruction of manufacturin industry an’ stuff all bein part of the estaberlisments onslaught on the workin class?

  24. 66
    Ah! Monika says:

    But does he play with a straight bat?

  25. 71
    Gloria del Piero says:

    No.We wouldn’t dream of insulting the electorate by putting up celebrities.

    • 81
      Gooey Blob says:

      Ah, Geoff Hoon in a skirt. Been anywhere near your Ashfield constituency recently?

  26. 85

    ‘Son of Labour MP. Never had real job’.

    Wotta shocker !

  27. 89
    Calamity Clegg says:

    Gimme your money !!!! We know how to take care of it. Gimme, gimme, gimme !!!

  28. 100
    Aunty Matter says:

    If he took that Cricket bat to the Labour front bench mongs he’d get my vote.

  29. 112
    Ash Ken the Question says:

    Just got to say this as it’s been on my mind for a while. I hope no-one accuses Stephen Hawking of miming at the ceremony tonight

  30. 114
    keredybretsa says:

    Well I guess this geez can catch and hold a good few votes!

  31. 117
    Blinded by the light says:

    Yet another case of image over ability, it’s the politicians way! Would you have an inexperienced unqualified person operate on your body? No, then why do we have these unqualified, inexperienced media personas running this country or in opposition. Let’s have quality and experience not media image!

    • 121
      Anonymous says:

      Get rid of David Cameron then

    • 124

      The Tories don`t stand a chance in Corby. Their incredible naievity in parachuting in yet another Cameroon dumbo shows yet again that they have absolutely zero understanding of what Tory-inclined voters are looking and yearning for. Obviously Corby Tories must also be in the dumbo camp for allowing the parachute landing space.

      • 131
        Rabbi Burns says:

        So you think the wee, sleekit, cowrin, tim’rous beastie is going to find that the best laid schemes o’ mice an’ men gang aft agley?

        • 167
          Norman Stanley Fletcher says:

          What the fuck does that mean in English, you charmless Cel’ic nerk?

          • Your Friendly Neighbourhood Poetic Scots Translation Service says:

            “D’ya think the rat’s gonna suss out that ‘shit happens’?”

          • Fulton McKay says:

            Fletcher get back in your cell for more bum sex with bubba, you utter wanker

      • 132
        Old Tory Bigot says:


        What Corby Conservatives want, more than anything else, is a candidate that will actually WIN the seat.

      • 133
        A Voter says:

        We’re not in the ‘dumbo camp’, just under the influence of the Tory State control and depersonalisation mist care of P/D!!

      • 186
        Some Twat up North says:

        They got Mensch in, go figure.

        Meat pie, sausage roll, come Corby giz a goal.

    • 127
      Anonymous says:

      Too many glib and shallow characters in theTory ranks. They have lost touch with the political aspirations of the voters, and are ownly in touch with the political classes.
      Things will not change until the arrogant Cameron goes – and his cronies too!

    • 134
      Anonymous says:

      If UKIP have a sane candidate and behave sensibly, they will do well.

      • 154
        Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

        In terms of probability that one is on a par with Ann Widdicombe announcing that she is pregnant by the ghost of Aleister Crowley and looking forward to the birth.

    • 229
      J.Edgar Electrolux says:

      We used to get a few reasonable types who could earn a living in the real world; these used to nip along after the day job for a few minutes and put in their two penn’orth.
      But it seems that isn’t a sufficiently non-discriminatory approach, what with working female MP’s needing to get home and prepare the kiddies tea.

  32. 123
    Anonymous says:

    If it all goes wrong he will have been promised a safe seat and I just wonder if the Association concerned are aware of it.You can’t beat the ‘A’ list can you?

  33. 138
    Anonymous says:

    Caroline Flint MP – Possible Defector or just a Tory Mole?!!!!

  34. 161
    Weather Geek says:

    O/T – Monbiot wanted flooding? He got flooding:

    These houses are outside the main New Orleans protection scheme but still…we shouldn’t crow about living below sea level.

    Did someone say ‘Thames Gateway’?

    • 170
      Tay King-dePisse says:

      The late “sick comic” Sam Kinison, circa late 80′s: “While we’re out here delivering this famine relief food, could we have a small word with you? Is it possible the reason you’re having a famine, that you haven’t been able to grow anything, is because you live in SAND? And without rain, all you’re ever going to have is SAND? And the reason you have all this SAND is that you’re living in the middle of the DESERT? Why can’t you just MOVE?”

      Sam Kinison if he were alive in 2012: “Is it possible that the reason you need all these levees and pumping stations is that you’re below SEA LEVEL? And as long as you keep building on land that’s below SEA LEVEL, you’ll ALWAYS need levees and pumping stations? Why don’t you just STOP BUILDING, or else START LANDFILLING?”

  35. 163
    Reality check says:

    More chance of them ending up with Strauss-Kahn.

  36. 166
    £145-50 says:

    Currently watch ‘The Flower Pot Gang’ on the BBC, it’s fucking brilliant!

  37. 168
    T Summer says:

    Are the Paralytic Games over yet ?

    • 202
      Maxwell's Silver Hammer says:

      Afraid not. Just been watching the opening ceremony. As boring as the other one. Girls with the transparent umbrellas make it worth watching, though. Definitely not disabled.

    • 214
      Hey Lordy, pick a bale of cotton. says:

      You mean the Limpy Games, don’t you?
      I wonder how many blue badge parking spaces they’ve made for the competitors?

      • 228
        oh no, dont pick on the Irish... says:

        Irish wheelchair team have been discovered using performance enhancing products..WD40

  38. 173
    Enemy of the State says:

    This election should surely produce Nigel Farage as the UKIP candidate? After all UKIP are ineffective and useless in the EP. The only legislation which can effectively free the UK from the EU would be enacted in the Commons. I suspect Farage is too scared because if UKIP only polled say 9% or at best 18% he would have shown that UKIP is not effective as a Party in Westminster. I think he should stand and if he loses as badly as he has in the past, close UKIP, place coffin lids on the seats in the EP where UKIP presently takes seats, and join the Conservative Party and take it over rather as the communists took over the Unions in the seventies and the BBC since its inception.

    • 236
      Nige says:

      I suggest you leave politics to the grown-ups.

    • 242 says:

      You are Lord Kinnock and I claim £5. But don’t worry you will still have £1,999,995 left from your annual EU bribe.

  39. 175
    Calamity Clegg says:

    This is the leader of the LibDemon highwayman club. Stand and deliver !!!

    Give me your money !!!

  40. 182
    Fabians are Evil says:

    I’m free

  41. 188
    DZ says:

    Cameron isn’t going to do shit

    He has posh boy guilt

  42. 191
    Fabians are Evil says:

    Balls and his Hero Brown sing a little song.

  43. 192
    Sandy Jamieson says:

    So run this one ast me again- in the one English Constutuency that has the highest scots population with the possible exception of Berwick, Dave wants to put up the former England Cricket Captain.


  44. 196

    Is Harriet Harman’s twat bald?

  45. 208
    A gA tory's idea of a member of the working class. says:

    Gawd bless you guv’nor. I always says ‘ow it’s the toffs what really cares for us.

  46. 219
    SLOTGOB says:

    Tell Calamity Clegg to do one with his idea of taxing the rich.

    Cherie’s £75m private health empire based in a tax haven… which she’s setting up with a Right-wing friend of Sarah Palin

    Read more:–s-setting-Right-wing-friend-Sarah-Palin.html#ixzz24ycmmAIk

  47. 233
    Time to be real. says:

    That Spaz olympic show was pure corn

  48. 234
    not a machine says:

    I am still recovering at the shock of finding out how it works , and the creatures that inhabit it .

  49. 243
    Procrustes says:

    Corby will get the MP it deserves;having tried the voting for totty approach in 2010, it will now revert to type and may elect the local lad. However it’s a marginal constituenecy because part of it included East Northants which votes blue and the other bit is red Corby.

    Good ground for labour though, c 40% of the population have no educational qualifications..all they have to do is hand out the Special Brew and it will be a landslide.

Seen Elsewhere

From the IRA to Windsor Castle | WSJ
Coulson: Everything You Need to Know in 6 Seconds | MediaGuido
Mo Ansar’s Silence | Adrian Hilton
Gove Loses WWI Battle | Conservative Woman
5 Reasons Labour Likely to Win General Election | Sunny Hundal
Dave Surrounded By Topless Women | Sun
UN Loony says Britain Most Sexist Country | Sun
Farage is a Good Reason to Leave the EU | Dan Hannan
UKIP Blocked Expenses Questions | Times
NHS Showdown Coming | Paul Goodman
Sons of Brown | Telegraph

Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

Cathy Jamieson MP, Labour’s Shadow Treasury minister, commenting on Treasury analysis of the economic impact of tax changes…

“If the Treasury is looking at the economic impact of tax changes, then surely it should examine the impact of the rise in VAT and cuts to tax credits? George Osborne’s £12 billion VAT rise knocked confidence, helped to choke off the recovery and has cost families £1,350 over the last three years.”

orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads