August 29th, 2012

Andrew Strauss Could Stump Labour in Corby

Many have been wondering why England captain Andrew Strauss has quit international cricket. While it’s probably has more to do with his bad couple of years at the crease and major dramas in the dressing room, it’s well known that Andrew is a Tory and rumoured that he has an interest in moving into politics. He raised £25,000 for the party at a 2011 fundraiser…

With the Tories struggling to find a candidate for the Corby by-election, perhaps it’s time for Strauss to serve again.

Selection meeting is this Friday, could he rise from the Corby ashes?

UPDATE: Strauss has retired not only from international cricket, but from Middlesex too. Coincidently Corby the tourism website says “the area has a long cricketing tradition.”

UPDATE II: Others are circling:


  1. 1
    Kebab Time says:

    More chance with Camerons seat in 2015!

  2. 2
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    But then again, he might bail on the whole idea.

  3. 3
    Peter Perfect says:

    That’s not cricket.

  4. 4
    harryg says:

    do your duty, Strauss!

  5. 5
    On the house says:

    Except them that has Sky sports, like Gordon.

  6. 6
    Loungelizard says:

    Strauss should be able to waltz into the job.

  7. 7
    Engineer says:

    By all accounts Strauss is a thoroughly decent bloke, so he wouldn’t last five minutes in politics.

  8. 8
    Firey Fred says:

    He’ll knock em for six.

  9. 9
    AloneAgain says:

    as a resident of Corby I have to agree with Qwerty (12.21) no one in Corby gives much of a toss about cricket….now if it was an ex Rangers or Celtic player the voters might just turnout in droves!

  10. 10
    Ed Moribund says:

    I’ll be silly milly off.

  11. 11
    Ed Moribund says:

    S’leb is s’leb.
    Name recognition goes a long way.

    That’s why I’m doing so badly on the recognition front.
    The other day someone even said “Look-The leader of the liberal Labour party. Its Ted Millhouse “

  12. 12
    Matte says:

    He’ll bowl them over.

  13. 13
    Louise Mensch says:

    Ha! Ha! Ha!

    Peter and myself are wetting ourselves with laughter at this ludicrous blog.

    It’s a Labour “shoe in” my friend,Guido.

  14. 14
    Ed Moribund says:

    People being made to do work experience for benefits is morally wrong! Its exploitation of the uneducated.
    And more importantly If these people got jobs they’d never vote for me.

  15. 15
    Mike Hunt says:

    And the thousands that pack the grounds for international matches and (some) limited overs domestic games.

  16. 16
    Gordoom Mcmedicated says:

    tractor stats have fallen by 2300% since May 2010.

  17. 17
    Norman Stanley Fletcher says:

    Isn’t it time all those third- or fourth-generation schlock Jocks were cleared out of Corby? The town could do with re-Anglicising.

  18. 18
    bum watch says:

    It’s the number of seats you’re after today that worries me.

  19. 19
    Personality Matters says:

    From Chick Lit to Cricket.

  20. 20
    Norman Stanley Fletcher says:

    The phrase is ‘shoo-in’.

  21. 21
    Pete says:

    Hey Lou… Where’s the coke?

  22. 22
    Location Location Location says:

    As you are a resident of Corby I feel sorry for you.

  23. 23
    Dave says:

    Larry attacked me last night, he mistook for a mouse.

  24. 24
    Duckworth and Lewis says:

    The Tories and Cleggs lot are fucked

  25. 25
    Ed Milliband the Turd says:

    I thertainly giff a toth abouth cwicket.

  26. 26
    Ed Milliband the Turd says:

    123, 123, 123

  27. 27
    dahontr3 says:

    corby is rangers or celtic territory.

  28. 28
    UlyssesReturns says:

    Excellent choice.

  29. 29
    Forkbender says:

    Come on Guido, you know want to be a Tory MP, put your oar in, are you a mouse or made of stronger stuff.

  30. 30
    UlyssesReturns says:

    Where’s Corby?

  31. 31
    Mrs Smith says:

    Oh great.

    A sporting celebrity. He will have the necessary experience & life skills to convince the inept & failing Cameron & Osbourne to stop spending & cut taxes.

    I doubt he is a Conservative in reality because they are not allowed to stand in elections for the Conservative Party under Cameron.

  32. 32
    Forkbender says:

    Guido is after your jobbbie (English) Dave

  33. 33
    a non says:

    Corby’s a rough area. No doubt Andrew will box clever.

  34. 34
    Forkbender says:

    Outside the M25

  35. 35
    Thick as Shit Chav in Corby says:

    “According to the 2001 Census the proportion of the working age population with degree-level qualifications (8.5%) is the lowest of all areas in England and Wales. 39.3% have no GCSE-equivalent qualifications at all. The borough of Corby has the highest rate of teenage pregnancy in the East Midlands”

  36. 36
    a non says:

    I am going to miss Mensch’s bouncers.

  37. 37
    UlyssesReturns says:

    Is that past Hampstead?

  38. 38
    gramma says:

    Some people just lack Wisden.

  39. 39
    Allo Allo Allo says:

    As it’s “silly season” and further to the recent the Clacton “lion” incident [waste of time and money] as Chief Plod I have directed all lesser plods receive training on how to cope [deal with] with any member of the public addressing them “here Kitty, Kitty” without sais plod falling foul of an st***d UE law or any bi***ed, annoying offe***ve feminist lobbyist. All plod have been issued with two pictures – one a lion the other a cat

    I thank you

  40. 40
    AloneAgain says:

    We all got to live somewhere…and this was at one time an interesting place. Now it is overrun with SPAD’s and journo’s.
    But we have had drug taking chicklit perhaps now is the time for a failed sportsman.

    But if KP can upset him wait till he meets a couple of the boys from
    “The Kingfisher”!

  41. 41
    Baron Hogwash says:

    Strauss could hit a few Balls in parliament.

  42. 42
    AloneAgain says:

    Thats the vcery place!

  43. 43
    SP4BS says:

    hahahahaa ha a haahaaa

    Just what they need. Parachute an A-lister in. what could possibly go wrong.

  44. 44
    W.G. Grace says:

    He doesn’t have a Chinaman’s chance.

  45. 45
    Tim Yeo (All manfat no mouse) says:

    I bet he’s impregnated a few fillies wot?

  46. 46

    One small problem could see him out for a duck – Clegg before wicket.

  47. 47
    smoggie says:

    Chris Hoy would be a better choice IMHO (what with all plastic jockoes in town) but Andrew Strauss is an excellent choice anyway.

    I think we need B­il­ly B­o­wd­en’s decision here.

  48. 48
    Must get a pseudonym one day says:

    Political ambitions aside, England has lost probably its best captain in recent times, clearly hastened by the petulent princess from Pretoria, Pietersen.

    If that self-important rat Pietersen ever plays for any England team again, that’s me finished with a lifetime of Test Cricket supporting. If they ever pick him again, they don’t deserve any support.

  49. 49
    wolf of kabul says:

    He make sure he take clicky ba into housings estates..

  50. 50

    Quite right QWERTY – nor do they give two shits about Andy Sawford’s godfather, Phil Hope, former MP and nominated Sawford for this seat, who claimed £41,000 in dodgy expenses. No, no one cares that this is yet another LieBoring candidate nourished on the fruit of the poisoned tree.

    NOW …. do fuck off.

  51. 51
    Still having difficulties with stereotyping I see says:

    Remind me again did Mensch play for the ‘Tic or the Gers ?

  52. 52
  53. 53
    Police Chief Whigham of Humberside says:

    Bah all this nonsense about the Essex lion. If it had been reported on my Manor, I would have taken my command team out to the local Chinese and had a slap up meal courtesy of official expenses and just waited till the hysteria died down. Dammed sight cheaper than flying that ‘Copter around for three days. Vote for me !

  54. 54

    At Corby Railway Station:

    Newly met should please refrain
    From making love upon the train
    As this could cause embarrassment to you
    If you wish to perform this function
    Kindly wait ’till Corby junction
    ‘Cos there you’ll find there’s fuck all else to do.

    Excerpt from “My Fucking Poems an’ Shit” published by Pished Publishers, Corby.

  55. 55
    wolf of kabul says:

    Like Tom Watson, Qwerty wouldn’t even be able to find Corby on a map of Northants.

    I note that the Monster Raving Loony Party is fielding one, Toby Jug, so that’s a serious threat to disipating the Sawford vote. A real poser for the Lab voters is that one.

  56. 56

    I passed a Hampster.

  57. 57

    If it’s Corby, it’ll be in the bath waiting to go on the fire.

  58. 58
    smoggie says:

    Unless you’re a fat cat union baron, how else can you jump the council flat housing queue but get yourself up the duff?

  59. 59
    Bambi Cook says:

    I am not opposed to his selection altogether. I think he could probably bat at no.5, where Morgan used to, after Cook, Bell, Trott, and Bairstowe. I’m afraid that his inclusion looks increasingly necessary for the Indian tour. It all depends on ow contrite he truly is.

    Personally, I would have had Graeme Swann as the new Captain. He seems to be a decent tactician and a bit of a character, as well as a great spinner. He is batting better than Cook at the moment, too.

    “Eyelashes” Cook reminds me of Ed Milliband.

    I think Strauss is to decent a bloke to be a politician.

  60. 60

    Good choice though in Jockborough-on-Steel – an alcohol drinking vessel!

  61. 61
    Ted Dexter says:

    I tried that in the sixties, wasn’t very successful in Cardiff though.

  62. 62
    Ted Dexter says:

    8illy does!

  63. 63
    Ted Dexter says:


  64. 64
    Gary Barlow says:

    Dave told me I would get first dibs! Bastard. Anyway, he has a better chance than Boris4Corby, the Facebook page only has one like…

  65. 65
    david says:

    So far we’ve had Chris Evans, (although he’s probably Labour) now we’ve got Strauss waltzing in, Jeeesssuuuuussss, how desperate can you get. There is only question how big the swing to Labour is going to be. With more cracks appearing in the Coalition than there are in Nadine Dorries’s face makeup, if its below 20% Labour should be disappointed, UKIP could even make 2nd.

  66. 66
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    No no no!

    Corby is The World’s Friendliest Town!

    According to “Corby Magazine”.

  67. 67
    Time 2 CTRL, ALT & DEL says:

    the rest of the uneducated go to the hoc

  68. 68
    Fred Truman says:

    Postal voters are ususally the type of fellows (those that are real people that is) who like cricket I believe. But Corby seems to made up of plastic Jockastanis! Not sure a nice English cricketing chap will fit the bill.

  69. 69
    robbie says:

    Looks like the Tories are really stumped for a credible candidate in Corby.

  70. 70
    ho hum says:

    To the tune of Humoresque. [Humoresk – not humerskew]

    Was it not Flanders and Swann who penned the original to that little ditty?

  71. 71
    ho hum says:

    I’m stumped why anybody would want to go there.

  72. 72
    TomCatesby says:

    Do they have baths and where did they nick the coke?

  73. 73
    TomCatesby says:

    Start with Ed!

  74. 74
    Colin Cackmuffin-Woggleby says:

    Andy Sawford is a plonker

  75. 75
    Colin Cackmuffin-Woggleby says:

    Andy Sawford is a silly noodle

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