August 28th, 2012

Parliament Crèche Costs £81,154 per Child
…And Guess Who Is Picking Up the Tab?

Unsurprisingly, the Speaker’s vanity crèche in the old Bellamy’s restaurant in Parliament has turned out to be an expensive mistake. Cass Horowitz, a former researcher involved in trying to stop the original project back in 2010 has been number crunching:

“…there are currently 15 children attending it on a regular basis despite the fact it can cater for up to 40 children. These 15 children have six members of staff (probably the equivalent ratio to a five star hotel) and thus presuming a salary of 30k and including the loss of the original refurbishment, they are being looked after at £81,154 tax payer pounds each. In other words they’re probably the most expensive babies in Britain!”

When political correctness is at stake, who cares how much it costs!


  1. 1
    Pig spotter says:

    What a fucking bunch of freeloaders! 66k not enough for the thieving c-unts!

  2. 2
    David Cameron (Leader of the Nasty Party) says:

    I believe I can fly,I believe I can touch the sky.

  3. 3
    ed martin says:

    but is it cheaper than borstal?

  4. 4
    Blue Stratos Guy says:

    First again! *smells armpits*

  5. 5
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    How else can the little darling sons and daughters of MPs develop the proper sense of entitlement to the taxpayer’s cash?

    Worth every penny.

  6. 6
    Louise Mensch MP says:

    If I’d known about this free creche I wouldn’t have quit to spend more time with my kids!

  7. 7
    Taxpayer says:

    “When political correctness is at stake, who cares how much it costs!”

    Not me, obviously.

  8. 8
    Nurse says:

    Any chance you can take Gordon off my hands when he’s down this way so me and the Hospital Escorts can get a cup of tea or something? Thanks.

  9. 9
    Jimmy says:

    They closed a bar just to look after some brats? This is an outrage!

  10. 10
    Nurse says:

    You can dear – just stand on this high stool and wave your arms about – we’re here to catch you if you fall . . . . . (snigger).

  11. 11
    Silly Sally Bigcow. says:

    Quite right, sweetie ! Psst ! Fancy a knee-trembler ?

  12. 12
    SP4BS says:

    you didn’t.

  13. 13
    The Lesbian Eagle Sister says:

    This facility is biased and unfair to us Lesbos, we demand something in return.

  14. 14
    Jimmy the Dhimmi says:

    Taxpayer subsidies for troughers should be stopped.

  15. 15
    Fraser says:

    Really? You’re complaining that children are a burden on the taxpayer? Not even children, babies for crying out loud! I tell you what, your blog is a burden on my browsing history you cowardly, miserable, self-righteous, opportunistic moron. I am not a parent but I hope the rage and fury of these children’s parents descends on you and forces some form of an apology for attacking this quite crucial service.

  16. 16
    The Name is HADDOCK ! MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    So Whats New , It costs us about £250,000 per head to wet nurse 647 total fucking nerds just down stairs !

  17. 17
    DZ says:

    £81,154 tax payer pounds each – and the fucking rest

    A Taxpayer has earn £206,000 p.a just to cover one child place

  18. 18
    Jimmy says:

    There still remains the question of what to do with MPs’ kids. They can’t all work in Dorries’ office.

  19. 19

    81 grand a pop , sounds like good value to me !
    when i lose the little brats ,i can just pop next door and find them

    Toodle Pip ! now where did i leave my bike ?

  20. 20 says:

    No he’s complaining that children of rich expense chasing and tax evading parents are getting freebies at the expense of poorer parents. That is hardly a crime.

  21. 21
    TWAT ALERT ! says:


  22. 22
    Monnie Jarbles says:

    Yes, I’m sure part time nursery assistants are on 30k. What planet does Guido live on?

  23. 23 says:

    How lucky for them, the rest of us have to pay for our childcare…
    Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

  24. 24
    The British Public says:

    Let the fuckers pay for their own childcare they earn enough ! ! Why should WE subsidise them ?

  25. 25
    Jimmy the Dhimmi says:

    Er, the MPs can fork out from their own money ??

    But then socialists expect the State ( through the Taxpayers ) to fund ALL their expenditure, utilising Gordon Brown’s & Ed Balls’ Money Trees.

  26. 26
    John Bercow says:

    We do provide lockers for you to store your dungarees and strap on dildos. Isn’t that enough?

  27. 27
    @LCBT#wtf says:

    “…And Guess Who Is Picking Up the Tab?”

    Errr …. YOU, dear?

  28. 28
    Joss Ayinglike says:

    Planet Earth. You seem to be talking out of Uranus.

  29. 29
    John Bercow says:


  30. 30
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Providing a place where infants can be fed from the tit, paid for by sucking from the public tit– ’tis a state of affairs which surpasseth irony.

  31. 31
    Tax is theft says:


  32. 32
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    Mmmm. Did wonder about that myself.

  33. 33
    Jimmy says:

    You may have noticed over the last two years that tories tend to struggle with maths.

  34. 34
    Anonymous says:

    So this researcher has assumed the salary I would doubte that many nursery nurses other than possibly the manager are earning £30,000. They also don’t seem to have checked on what is the legal ration of adults to children I believe it is 3 to on adult for the youngest children. That ratio will be the same at the Parliamentary as at any other chreche – so nothing to do with 5* hotels unless of course they have a similar facility.

  35. 35
    Anonymous says:

    Also do we know that those, presumably all staff and not just MPs, who may use the creche, don’t pay towards it? It just seems to be a general assumption on this thread.

  36. 36
    From last thread says:

  37. 37
    annette curton says:

    Pro rata I’m sure they are getting that at least, even HOC breakfast Picklets gets massive subsidise these days.

  38. 38

    Bercow needs a boundary change to the Chiltern Hundreds

  39. 39
    Larry Wallis says:

    Lemmy bought me beer @ Lyceum once. Tasted of piss tho x .

  40. 40
    Insider says:

    Bellamy’s bar was closed not Bellamy’s restaurant – you know those highly subsidised things you are always banging on about Guido? Surely, you’d be pleased. It was the usual haunt of mostly conservative researchers and staff – people like Mr Horowitz.

    There are many assumptions, probablies, guesses and exaggerated/invented figures in Mr Horowitz’s piece. £30k per crèche worker x6 yeah right!

    Mr Horowitz implies that the views of 470 staff who signed the petition are paramount and this matter could be revisited – to what end? Perhaps spending another £500k plus to reinstate a bar? Parliament employs over 8000 staff so 470 staff (many of whom like Mr Horowitz will no longer work in Parliament) represented barely 6% of staff.

    If Mr Horowitz really wishes to save taxpayers’ money then he might consider a campaign to restrict Private Members’ Bills only to those that have the written support of at least 100 MPs to stop Members e.g. Mr Christopher Chope wasting Parliamentary time with their personal vanity projects which never pass Second Reading but cost tens of thousands of pounds to the taxpayer.

    Whilst on Private Members’ Bills Mr Horowitz may wish to campaign to stop maverick MPs e.g. Mr Christopher Chope filibustering, delaying Divisions and time-wasting (at the cost of tens of thousands of pounds to the tax-payer) to kill Private Members Bills that have strong cross-party support e.g. The Daylight Saving Bill 2012.

  41. 41
    Gooey Blob says:

    Maybe one of them would like to become shadow chancellor. Labour desperately need someone with a basic grasp of economics, so preferably one who has experience of helping out at the school tuck shop or running a lemonade stall.

  42. 42
    Ivor Tapeworm says:

    I presume that MP’s don’t pay tax on this perk either.

  43. 43
    Ivor Tapeworm says:

    Could be a £30k cost when you take Employer’s NI, pension rights and other costs into consideration. £30k cost to the taxpayer, not £30k salary.

  44. 44
    Ivor Tapeworm says:

    I think one can assume that MPs with children do not personally contribute £80k eack, if they contribute at all.

  45. 45

    Never said matter should be ‘re-visited’ only that the decision should’ve been scrutinised more carefully in the first place.
    ‘filibustering, delaying Divisions and time-wasting’ could also be looked at but I am just pointing this out as an example of totally pointless waste that could’ve been avoided.
    I no longer work at Parliament as I am at University and worked there in my gap year for an MP who was willing to take on a student researcher. I admit 30k may have been miscalculated but the FOI request did reveal 6 staff.

  46. 46
    Aunt Mat says:

    Just leave the brats with an unregistered childminder.
    Cash in hand.

    It’s what the rest of us do.

  47. 47
    Twit a twat says:

    Nice of you to take a break from tw@tter to tell us this. Now fuck off.

  48. 48
    Norman Stanley Fletcher says:

    Or just leave them in the pub.

  49. 49
    The Impartial observer says:

    Hand grenade through the door, hose it out after. Gets rid of another generation of troughers.

  50. 50
    Sir Phillip Green says:

    Not me

  51. 51
    Vodaphone says:

    Nor us

  52. 52
    Angry Nerd says:

    8000 staff???????

  53. 53
    Insider says:

    Only slightly more than Buckingham Palace/Windsor Castle combined but then much more important business is done in Parliament…

  54. 54
    Fact Checker says:

    Poor effort Guido just cut and pasting like that! The real figure is a subsidy of £2500 per child dropping to cost neutral i.e. £zero next year.—march-2012/the-parliamentary-nursery/

  55. 55
    Col Nut says:

    We shouldn’t be paying for the devil’s spawn.

  56. 56
    Synic says:

    Dave — a one man two women civil union has had the OK in Brazil — will your new marriage legislation allow this in the UK? Will it be OK for 3 k w e e r MPs to marry together and send their adopted sprogs to the Westminster creche — if not why not?
    P.S. What are you doing about the deficit this week — fxxk all as usual?

  57. 57
    ho hum says:

    The creche of full stops and commas is over there —–>

  58. 58
    A Blair Babe says:

    Because we’re worth it

  59. 59
    MPs - troughers & shitesters says:

    Oh Insider, I hope you didn’t have a straight face when posting your last blog.
    Parliament is now lower than a snake’s belly in most people’s eyes and the MPs are nothing more than grasping tw*ts.

  60. 60
    Backwoodsman says:

    As a defense of a self awarded perk , by group on typicaly 3 times the average wage, who have recently been exposed as cynically stealing from their employees, the tax payer, your response is a total fail. Now fuck off back to planet stupidity.

  61. 61
    Sally says:

    I like a strict man.

  62. 62
    evad666 says:

    Bloody outrageous they are not charged a Central London rate. They are paid £66k per annum for sitting on the damned benches as it is. Properties purchased by MP’s should be seized by the constituencies and handed to the next political freeloader (incumbent).

  63. 63
    I cant find my sunglasses says:

    A simple one off tax on the rich and the tab will be covered.

  64. 64
    Loopy Lou says:

    But we have already increased taxes on the rich and the National Debt has got bigger.

  65. 65
    i can't believe it's not butt says:

    it’s probably used as a brothel- what with the traditional predilection for public school boys to bum each other senseless. but hey! it didn’t do william hague any harm, imagine how sore his arse must of been after the 1977 tory conference.

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