August 25th, 2012

Saturday Seven Up

Prince Harry’s naked Vegas photos saw 224,431 visitors visiting 426,815 times viewing 754,968 pages this week. The top stories in order of popularity were:

You’re either in front of Guido, or behind…


  1. 1

    Our host certainly got to the bottom of things this week.

    8illy will be pleased…

  2. 2
    Lord Leveson says:

    Oy vey.

    I’ll scream if anyone else says Harry can be proud of his buttocks.

  3. 3
    Ah! Monika says:

    American foreign ministers pass a motion backing the “inviolability of diplomatic missions” amid the UK and Ecuador’s row over Julian Assange.

    No doubt terrified of William Hague entering the American Embassy with a catapult.

  4. 4
    Ah! Monika says:

    Not with you getting the number 1 slot.

  5. 5
    anonymous says:

    god, it’s 8.oam and there’s no labour party story yet on this nazi tory supporting roll of honour

  6. 6
    Anonymous says:

    He did indeed reach the bottom of the barrel, his gutter press chums must be proud of him.

  7. 7
    Ah! Monika says:

    A policeman has accidentally revealed a secret plan to seize Julian Assange “under all circumstances”.

    Why not ” under any circumstance “?

  8. 8
    Anonymous says:

    Geedough doesn’t deal with things of consequence any more, he is probably working on some piece about Posh and Becks.

  9. 9
    Ah! Monika says:

    8. oam . Isn’t that a Hari Krisna chant.

  10. 10

    Someone has to do it.

    Hell, it’s not as if I am trying FFS. The page had been up for 9 minutes and I ain’t got time to wait another 12 for the next post.

  11. 11
    Michael Gove says:

    It appears that I may request a judge led inquiry into my cock up regading GCSE exam marking.

    Och Aye,The Noo !

  12. 12
    Ah! Monika says:

    OK, but why go back to bed for 32 minutes?

  13. 13

    Yes. And all 754,968 pages were viewed by people who had come here at the point of a gun…

  14. 14
    Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    It’s probably about time we had another pandemic scare, I wonder what the drug companies will think of this winter? Peter Gri fin thinks it’ll be Goat Flu.

  15. 15
    Ah! Monika says:

    Sun’s Prince Harry pictures: watchdog receives hundreds of complaints…from women complaining that the pics were not revealing enough.

  16. 16

    A propos of nothing at all, what grade did you get for maths?

  17. 17
    Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    . . .and they had to pay their GBC* tax, under threat of imprisonment.

    *Guido Broadcasting Company.

  18. 18

    Government Of All Tossers?

  19. 19

    Don’t give the man ideas…ffs!

    *sorry, not enough time to encode this…*

  20. 20
    Ah! Monika says:

    O Levle pass. ( Arithmetic, Algebra and Trig ). Meaning one didn’t need to get every sum correct.

  21. 21
    His Royal Knobness says:

    Apropos the above, more bollocks on, so change there then.

  22. 22
    Ah! Monika says:

    OK, just a cat-nap then.

  23. 23
    Spad U like says:

    William Hague is going in by the back door no doubt.

  24. 24
    Ah! Monika ( Indy ) says:

    The pendulum swings, while the wheel turns

    Philip Hensher: Abolish all grades. Only then will GCSEs be useful for pupils and employers.

  25. 25
    Reality check says:

    Shock fucking horror , it appears some pupils didnt get the grades they “expected” fuck me what kinda lesson about life does that teach them ?

  26. 26
    Reality check says:

    I refer you to my reply #23 below.

    Strike a light cor blimey gov’nor

  27. 27

    Seems he is a Lettuce, Guardian, Bacon and Tomato type.

  28. 28
    Felix says:

    1. Guido is a libertarian. Nazism is a mixture of fascism and socialism. Therefore, Guido is about as far away from Nazism as you can get.

    2. Guido criticises all politicians (tim yeo anyone?). It’s just that Labour has more people to be critical of.

  29. 29

    None so blind as those that will not see Anon. But popularised by Matthew Henry.

  30. 30
    Ah! Monika ( Indy ) says:

    Guppy, best man to Earl Spencer, asked his friend Mr Johnson to give him the address of a journalist investigating the case, so that he could have him beaten up.

    The conversation with Mr Johnson, an Eton College contemporary – who asked that the journalist should not be severely injured…

    Boris, always the gent.

  31. 31
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Still waiting for Loulou Mensch to flash her snatch on Twatter, y’know, in the public interest, like…


  32. 32
    Ah! Monika ( Mail ) says:

    Hundreds of scouts, guides and police cadets will be sent into deprived areas in £10m scheme to ‘help cut crime’.

    Scouts in riot gear, Guides in hot-pants. Problem solved

  33. 33
    Michael says:

    Abolish all Grades ???
    I think not.

  34. 34
    Ah! Monika says:

    Couldn’t do my homework sir, I was quelling riots in Hackney again.

  35. 35
    Keeping up appearances says:

    Posh’absolutely denies’ affair with David Beckham.

  36. 36
    Michael says:

    He must have been one of the Multiverse Police Force.

    Wouldn’t it be simpler for the Ecuadorians to spill a glass of red wine as an excuse for changing the carpet ?

  37. 37
    Ah! Monika says:

  38. 38
    Ah! Monika says:

    John Prescott eating pie…it’s not

  39. 39
    Michael says:

    Does anyone seriously believe that GCSEs are worth a jot anyway ?
    Job interviews are necessary in order to find out what the education system fails to tell employers about the shoddy goods that roll off the end of its production line.

  40. 40
    Michael says:

    ‘Brown calls on R&A to admit women’ (Gruinard)
    Sounds like he wants to have someone he thinks he can beat.

  41. 41
    Michael says:

    Just discovered that you can do a GCSE in Water Sports :

  42. 42
    Michael says:

    Have you listened to yourself lately ?

  43. 43

    Let’s look forward to the impending rehuffle.
    Rumour has it the fraudster (David Laws) is to be brought back, a proven liar (Jeremy Hunt) will be kept, as will the woman who is unable to use a calendar (Theresa May). Baroness Warsi will continue to bleat whatever right-wing opinions the Daily Mail has spouted forth that morning.

    All of this insult is merely the prelude to the news that Boy George will remain in the Treasury with his crayons and abacus, trying to think of a royal event or weather system on which he can blame our next quarter negative growth. The man has never held a proper job, and is chancellor because his mate is PM. He cannot do the job. Even Conservatives are learning this. If we must have a conservative chancellor, let’s have a grown-up like Ken Clarke or Vince Cable, who are both at least able to count.

  44. 44
    Wavy says:

    The future’s BRIGHT! The future is with ME!

  45. 45
    National Socialist says:

    This really does say it all. Grayling who has done a piss poor job is to be promoted. Maria Millar who actively acts AGAINST the interests of the disabled is looking to get a promotion. The likes of the ass kisser Matthew Hancock is going to the whips office (no pun intended), David Laws who committed fraud against the taxpayer is being welcomed back into the fold, and Osbourne is to be given yet more time to do even greater damage to the economy….. well done Dave, this gets more like a sketch from a Laurel & Hardy film every day!!

  46. 46
    Anonymous says:

    Just because the world is full of cretins doesn’t mean one has to pander to them.
    Now he’s one of them.

  47. 47
    Moussa Koussa's sockpuppet says:

    If David Laws gets shuffled back in I’m going to get extremely angry.

    Just remember how he would have been treated if he was a £40,000 benefit fraudster.

    He should be in the cell next to Asil Nadir.

  48. 48
    Lord Scalded Bollock says:


    Nothing like a chorus of Ging,Gang,Goolie to halt the Molotov cocktails.

  49. 49
    'arry's game says:

    What a right royal load of bollocks.

  50. 50
    Moussa Koussa's sockpuppet says:

    When the history of the West of this century is written, Rupert Murdoch will be seen as its worse enemy. A man who wanted the freedom to do his thing but deny it to others. A man whose only regards for democracy is the freedom to make money and influenced its governance. A man whose only regard for freedom of expression is his freedom to speak for all and keep other mouths shot.

    A man who began a great danger to civilisation.

  51. 51
    Anonymous says:

    The Sun did this for money pure and simple. Kelvin Mackenzie should get off his soap box, it’s not about freedom of the press. Prince Harry getting naked? So what but it’s a side issue here. The Sun has demonstrated it will continue to be an ugly sore on our society justifying every sleazy, poorly researched ‘story’ as being in the public interest. There are 62 million people in the UK, I don’t care if 3 million or so idiots buy the Sun. It’s a small percentage. And they’ll vote for who they’re told to at the next election.

  52. 52
    Slippery Slope says:

    Somebody find his tablets.

  53. 53
    Michael says:

    Sounds remarkably like Blair’s CV.

  54. 54

    Just because the world is full of cretins… is presumably meant to be self-inclusive, yeah?

    He is running a business and a damned successful one, too. Does you income enable you to have three homes in different countries? If not, then maybe you should have a cool rethink.

  55. 55
    Sir William Waad says:

    Nobody ever went bust by underestiating the intelligence and taste of the British consumer.

  56. 56
    Sir William Waad says:

    Perhaps they’re going to let him go, repeatedly, then try to catch him again each time.

  57. 57
    An Assange lookalike says:

    I’m just practising my Australian accent.

  58. 58
    Mickey Mouse says:

    Don’t mock! It’s not easy passing exams when you’re only two-dimensional.

  59. 59

    E L Wisty voice:

    Did you know that the average pair of human testicles contains tubes which if laid out straight would stretch for a length of almost a mile?

    It would be very uncomfortable too…

  60. 60
    Well it's a thought says:

    Thought they had already kicked off with measles again.

  61. 61
    Mr Hague says:

    Oh Yes,

    I’ve just been informed that SPADS will have to share rooms at our Conference.

  62. 62
    Richard Holden says:

    Hello Campers

    I’m the new resident troll on here.


    That’s all for the moment chaps.

  63. 63
    albacore says:

    Stick your crappy windmills where the sun don’t shine
    And get some proper new power-plants on-line
    At the rate you’re increasing immigration
    We’ll have a candle-lit next generation

  64. 64
    R&A Captain says:

    We don’t let people like that in.

  65. 65
    Brown says:

    My balls appear to have been blackened.

  66. 66
    nellnewman says:


    vincecable struggles to find his shoes each morning and kenclarke is long past his sell by date.

    There has to be someone else.

  67. 67
    nellnewman says:

    Shale gas and fracking is the future.

  68. 68
    R&A Captain says:

    No, it only takes one black ball.

  69. 69
    Dud Ed says:

    I’d go to any lengths to be Reichskanzler.

  70. 70
    nellnewman says:

    What are they going to do? Introduce bob-a-job week?

  71. 71
    Bonfire of the Vanities says:

    You shouldn’t believe everything that you heard at the Levison Show Trial..

  72. 72

    Now you’re talking! If it were more bust and less male bottoms, would that not increase circulation even more? (In more senses than one.) Or am I being dreadfully old fashioned again?

  73. 73
    albacore says:

    Do tell that to Dave. He won’t arf be relieved
    With so many sows’ ears, he must be real peeved

  74. 74
    Blowing Whistles says:

    “let’s have a grown-up like Ken Clarke or Vince Cable” – Grown-up – surely not these men are in the senile stage of life where they regress into being child like. Ken Clarke – is scum, scum, scum.

  75. 75
    Bonfire of the Vanities says:

    Might be more use to have an inquiry into the appalling teaching for maths and english in the state sector for the past 30 years and the grade inflation that has been used to cover it up. Any employer will tell you that some pupils coming out of secondary education purportedly with Grade C and above for Maths and English at GCSE struggle to write simple letters or do simple mental calculations. You’ll also find that some universities have to hold semninars in the first term to get some of their fresher intake up to the required level….NOW that is something to have an Inquiry about not listening to the bollocks being spouted by the vested interests in the state education system

  76. 76
    Young Conservatives says:

    If you like a lot of chocolate on your biscuit join our CLUB.

  77. 77
    Forget about education:It's Quotas;quotas;quotas says:

    For the past 30 odd years nobody MUST fail and everyone must be winners. You’re not even allowed to put crosses by pupils work anymore or use red ink….or fail more than a set percentage of class work…

  78. 78
    Bonfire of the Vanities says:

    £5 minimum these days…now that is grade inflation !!

  79. 79
    Trivial Dave says:

    Tell you what. I’m fed up with Dave faffing about with trivial stuff.

    He should get on with the serious work needed for our country. Build an airport in the Thames Estuary, get fracking gas to cut energy bills (and CO2 emissions), build the Severn tidal barrage and tell Brussels to fuck off.

  80. 80
    Carl Hooper says:

    That’s Amazing

  81. 81
    Cad Burys says:

    A finger of fudge is just enough to give your kids a treat.

  82. 82
    just saying says:

    And coincidentally Blair just happens to be GODfather to Murdoch’s daughter.

  83. 83
    All politicians are psychopaths says:

    Maybe Rupert Murdoch isn’t all wrong. Just ruthlessly honest perhaps? Like many others, he appears to have decided long ago to make hay whilst the sun was still shining. Murdoch often said words to the effect that celebrities etc brought their woes upon themselves by their behaviours and that the papers just reported these for public consumption.

    Murdoch has helped make naked capitalism something which many now despise, but only like kids despising their teachers and parents for highlighting their own self destructive behaviours.

    Market forces drive what News Corporation/International delivers. If the public (markets) didn’t want it, they’d go out of business. Leninism says that naked capitalism does not have to be undermined by foreign agents, it just needs to be left to self-destruct. Was he wrong?.

    This appears to be the nature of an incorrigible infantile/adolescent identity disorder, and we appear to have been breeding this across Libertarian democracies by the millions.

    It seems to me that Libertarians are getting their just deserts and that much of Europe and the USA is throwing a collective narcissistic hissy fit as expected..It is all in the demographics if you look.

  84. 84
    All politicians are psychopaths says:

    Totally agree

  85. 85
    just saying says:

    Business leaders have stated that the latest GCSE results were a more adequate reflection of pupil’s abilities.

  86. 86
    Anonymous says:

    Yes Blair and Murdoch are joined at the grandchild.

  87. 87
    Anonymous says:

    You’re about 20 years late with this earth shattering revelation.

  88. 88
    Anonymous says:

    Guido in hotpants – no ta

  89. 89
    Anonymous says:

    Ooops – godchild

  90. 90
    Anonymous says:

    Balls and Cooper were caught flipping their homes several times in order to trouser thousands. Didn’t stop them in their ambitions.
    And Laws is extremely capable.

  91. 91
    albacore says:

    Oh Lor’. What we have here’s an optimist
    Well, either that or he’s totally pissed
    Is there any proof Dave’s even awake
    Let alone set to make the E U quake?

  92. 92
    Anders Britvik says:

    I’d like to thank you all for the support you’ve shown me in the last year. I am now a political prisoner but the fight goes on. We will win.

  93. 93
    Prince Hàrry says:

    She sucked the royal todger and swallowed the windsor jizz.

  94. 94
    ho hum says:

    I thought it was TB from the subcontinent.

  95. 95
    Gallery of Horrors says:

    Major, Blair, Brown, Cameron. Did someone curse this country to have four utterly shit prime ministers in a row?

  96. 96
    Moussa Koussa's sockpuppet says:

    Mr Anonymous – like it or not all of these fuckers, from all parties, will be standing at the next election.
    Now is the time for them all to be deselected.

  97. 97
    James Hewitt says:

    Leave my son alone! You had no right to publish naked photos of him!

  98. 98
    George, Washington says:

    Love HEARTS are good for the Constitution, but the purple ones leave a funny taste in your mouth.

  99. 99
    Myth Buster says:

    Why ruin a good yarn for the sake of accuracy?

    That Harry was 2 years old when James first met Diana and red hair is part of the Spencer family gene pool.

  100. 100
    Myth Buster says:

    Why ruin a good yarn for the sake of accuracy?

    That Ha rry was 2 years old when James first met Diana and red hair is part of the Spencer family gene pool.

  101. 101
    Fog says:

    Moussa – good plot for a movie – ‘Tomorrow Never Dies’. James Bond stops a media mogul’s plan to induce war between China and the UK in order to obtain exclusive global media coverage.

  102. 102 says:

    I believe there is a place for you in the Ecuadorian Embassy in Oslo if you can get there. These were obviously trumped up charges in order to get you extradited to the USA.

  103. 103 says:

    But not necessarily in that order.

  104. 104 says:

    Methinks you misunderstand the meaning of the word troll.

  105. 105
    Martial Law says:

    Nowt wrong with David Lawes dude. Self made millionaire and loads of experience outside the world of politics. He is one of the rare breed of politicians who is not there for the money or the power. That he did not want to hurt his mum and dad by them finding out he was a knob jockey is not such a bad thing.

  106. 106
    Prince Enery says:

    Naked photos, indeed !
    I was framed.

  107. 107
    Dave's Big society says:

    He’s certainly wasting his opportunity. Surely he realises that he’ll only get one shot at the job. Can’t understand why he is pissing around with homosexual weddings and bloody windmills.

  108. 108
    Maggie Maggie Maggie says:

    Then there was Wilson and Wilson, Callaghan and Heath. The only proper PM we’ve has in recent times is Margaret Thatcher.

  109. 109 says:

    Come on Guido. Get your finger out. You have been beaten to the story this time.

    “News reaches The Commentator of another inglorious moment for Britain’s state broadcaster.

    This week, a Trotskyist campaigner was interviewed by the BBC (38mins), which attempted to pass him off as an ‘ordinary’ unemployed member of the public.

    Although Matthew Whale has appeared on BBC programmes before, for what appears to be the sake of having an anti-government, ‘Joe Public’ voice on the show, BBC Radio 5Live conveniently passed over the man’s hard-leftist activist background.”

  110. 110
    Yawn says:

    FFS wake up at the back. The Commentator is Neo Guido. He’s even put a link up to the article on the RHS of this page.

  111. 111
    just saying says:

    Laws has served his time in the wilderness.
    Give him a proper job.

  112. 112
    do me a favour says:

    Brevik and Assange should both be denied the oxygen of publicity.

  113. 113
    Really? says:

    Clearly you do not understand membership of the EU and all it entails.

    Large scale contracts have to be put out to tender to companies EU wide. These companies do not have to employ a single British worker, or buy any British products, or use any British contractors.

    As for shale ( and the even less talked about Methyl Clathrates ) you are entirely correct, though the CO2 emmission bollocks, is a massive, politically driven hoax and tax ram-raid on the unfortunate and gullible.

  114. 114
    A woman says:

    If Harry wants what happens in Vegas to stay in Vegas, he needs to choose his “friends” more carefully.

  115. 115
    Elliot Ness says:

    Thought TB came from the underworld.

  116. 116
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Denied oxygen, full-stop.

  117. 117
    This hogwash ain't makin' it says:

    And Call-centre Skills, FFS.
    That would be for Mumbaian immigrants before they get shipped out to Mars, I suppose.

  118. 118
    Expat Geordie says:

    When I was 16 I got a job in my local newsagents behnd the counter. I had to work out all prices and change in my head, and never got it wrong.

    Now as a 42 year old working in planning for an insurance company, this ability is what currently pays my wages as I am always asked to check the figures of younger collegues who can’t tell when they have suffered from fat finger syndrome on their calculators. And when asked for an instant assessment I can give it instantly, and not have to spend five minutes pissing about with a calculator.

  119. 119
    A Vazoline Watchdog says:

    Never one to loose an opportunity to promote himself, Vazoline is now pontificating on the Harry affair. Vazoline should himself keep a low profile in view of his own unsavoury past.

  120. 120
    fukin dis custard says:

    but, but, but wouldn’t the Severn barrage turn Bristol into a septic tank ?.. Oh wait

  121. 121
    Handycock No1 Trougher in Parliament says:

    I wish I were educated like you Geordie, I can neither spell nor do addition or subtraction. I am however adept at using politics to fund my lavish lifestyle, visiting Russia for sex and organising planning permissions for my boys in Portsmouth for kickbacks, and I have been doing this since the age of 21 never really having had a proper job since then. Jahbulon.

  122. 122
    Anonymous says:

    Wrong, Pussy.
    It’s about target audience. If he wants to cater for dross he’ll loose quality people.
    It’s the mistake that ruined (and keeps ruining) British industry.
    Since Geedough became Desmond’s biatch he’s turned into a dross pedlar.

  123. 123
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Did someone mention Carl – Carl Gardner is still a twat.

  124. 124
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Reaching that No 1 slot – indeed well done SC – not sure that you haven’t done it in the past mind. Having grabbed a No 1 slot a week or two ago myself – welcome to the club.

  125. 125
    Monitoring Officer says:

    Even though I read this blog every day, I am unaware of any corruption in Portsmouth City Council. I know nothing of Handy’s boys, the drug dealers, nothing of their relationship with him regarding planning permissions, nothing of resulting kickbacks and political donations and certainly nothing of the villa in Spain they bought for him. The fact that in the few short years I have worked at Portsmouth, my salary has more than tripled, organised by Handy, has nothing to do with my lack of knowledge about any of the above subjects. Boaz.

  126. 126
    Chief Executive says:

    I know nothing about these things either. The Taxpayer’s Alliance recently reported that my salary and pension payments were in excess of £170,000 a year, thanks Handy. Boaz.

  127. 127
    Business Cat (specializing in yarns, Cdn owned & op) says:

    Random, it sounds random, just what I’d expect.

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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

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