Labour MP Survives Car Sabotage Attempt
Labour MP John Mann has been left thanking his lucky stars after he evaded death when his car was sabotaged by thieves. Unbelievably Mann managed to drive 200 miles along the A1 with the wheel nuts removed from each of his car’s four tyres, with a front wheel falling off luckily only once he had reached his destination. The sweating scourge of Bob Diamond said:
“The consequences of this madness do not bear thinking about. I and others could easily have been killed. Nobody could have spotted that the wheel nuts had been removed, which makes the callous nature of the crime even worse.”
Granted Mann is annoying, but trying to bump him off seems a bit extreme…
“with a front wheel falling off luckily ”
Superb stuff, move to the front of the English class.
Unbeknown to the Bassetlaw MP his front wheels had been stripped of their wheel nuts plus all four locking nuts had been removed from each of his tyres.
Incredibly the wheel hubs had been replaced meaning that the theft was not spotted by either Mann or the car security system in Parliament. It looks as if the criminals had replaced the hubs in order to hide the theft.
http://www.johnmannmp.com/mps-car-sabotaged
They fogot the nut behind the wheel though!
Never a truer word said in jest.
“the wheel nuts removed from each of his car’s four tyres” Er, not to be pedantic or anything, Guido old top, but the nuts hold on the wheel, not the tyres!
This stinks! Now where on earth do people bump off their enemies, perceived or real? Oh, that’s right…………….America! The Sopranos live!
Mann has ascertained that only registered garages have access to sophisticated equipment to steal locking wheel nuts but fears that keys for such security systems may be reproducible.
http://www.johnmannmp.com/mps-car-sabotaged
John, Locking wheel nuts are a waste of time. Ten quid will buy you a locking wheel nut removal kit off ebay. Or failing that just get a rubber mallet and a socket which won’t quite fit over the nut until it is hammered on with the mallet.
You can even buy them in Halfords:
http://www.halfords.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/product_storeId_10001_catalogId_10151_productId_196491_langId_-1_categoryId_255216
I have 16 used wheelnuts for sale. £16,000,000 only.
I couldn’t possibly comma…
“….with the wheel nuts removed from each of his car’s four tyres…”?
Que? Please explain oh wise one.
A tyre is the big rubber thing; the wheel is the smaller metal bit.
The nuts go through the wheel, not the tyre. If you put things through the tyre you get a flat tyre.
Must have upset Gordon. ” Now who’s got a screw loose!”
If it was done in the HoC car park it could have been a hit job, the security system is not fit for purpose, they do have a track record Airey Neve was blow up there
Guido your should send Billy B to the HoC to sort them out before one of favourite right wing Toyries might be next, something has to be done
Aaaah, there are many suspects.
Look at the Expenses Fraudsters there.
the state of the car reminds one of the state of the (withdrawal of) Labour Party
Another LieBore MP with no nuts.
He must be popular then!
Meanwhile > Lazy Lib Dems > http://kebabtime.blogspot.co.uk/2012/08/lazy-lib-dems.html
Did someone say his nuts are missing?
It was Boris, he put them somewhere but can’t remember where.
Not my type of guy then.
And he didn’t notice?
Shows how much attention he pays when driving.
Agreed….. highly unlikely not to notice something unusual until the wheel fell off. Perhaps he is exaggerating a little…
just like the labour polices nobody noticed until the wheels fell off the economy.
But he was driving for 200 miles on the A1, remember? — He probably never managed more than 10 mph the whole way, thanks to the traffic.
Whoever’s responsible can come and loosen my nuts anytime he likes.
Only if they share a room with me though!
and down 14 pints a night.
I like a man who swallows. not spits
I would have thought the screaming sound from each of the four wheels would have been a clue.
Probably heard nothing on his journey as he was listening full bore to the Labour Propagands coming from BBC radio 4.
If I turn my radio of I can even tell if a wheel bearing is getting iffy.
Labur and transport do not mix as for defence, economic governance, crime, prisons, immigration, justice et al et al.
“[A] front wheel falling off luckily only once he had reached his destination[...]”
Some, of a more doubting nature than me, might have used the adverb “conveniently,” but I never would.
I would Tay.
Why didn’t his chauffeur check the vehicle?
“sabotaged by thieves.”
Slightly misleading , i would suggest that if their aim was to steal the car then they would not have loosened the wheel nuts.
Sabotaged by vandals seems much more appropriate
He meant the thieves were obviously in the process of trying to steal the cars wheels and were disturbed, happens all the time.
I got away with the bricks, though.
I’ve often had alloy wheels that are a right bugger to remove. Need a hammer to get them off because of a layer of corrosion that sticks them on rather well.
Perhaps they didn’t have the time or weren’t willing to make that much noise.
Explains how he could drive it too.
I’ve often had alloy wheels that are a right bugger to remove. Need a hammer to get them off because of a layer of corrosion that sticks them on rather well.
Perhaps they didn’t have the time or weren’t willing to make that much noise.
Explains how he could *make it move forward for some time, verb that goes with cars*
Is there an echo in here? Get a duck to see if quacks can’t echo.
Ow do Duck, an oatcake wi’ chorizo an’ plenty of mozzarella chaze, Me Duck.
I am on the right of the Conservative party but John Mann is one of the very few Labour MP’s I would vote for. He is a blooming good M.P. and what he did to nail the bent solicitors who tried to nick the compensation from the miners who had emphasemia was a fantastic thing to have done. I am very pleased he wasn’t hurt and I hope that the bastards who did this are caught, they deserve birching.
Actually, Chris, I agree – +4! (nuts on each of his wheels – locking ones this time!)
They can wait there turn for the birch, I’m first.
If he’s anything like John Mann the stand-up comic, he’s fucking brilliant!
Why were the wheel nuts in the tyres anyway?!
So which Labourite was next in line for his constituency?
Try this simple experiment for yourself.
1. Remove the wheel nuts from your car
2. Drive the car.
3. See how far you get.
Unbelievably? Aye, that would be about right.
“Nobody could have spotted that the wheel nuts had been removed” … apart from someone with functioning eyes, presumably?
Someone with functioning x-ray eyes presumably
Yes those eyes that can see through wheel trims.
OK, hadn’t gone and read his site which shows it’s basic steel wheels with hubcaps that he has. Had casually assumed he’d have something slightly less basic with alloy wheels where you can see the nuts.
Of course, that begs the question of who the heck would want to nick some scrotty steel wheels… and would take the time to bang the hubcaps back on if they were interrupted? Seems unlikely… which disturbingly enough makes it sounds more like someone wanted him to have an “accident”.
Jags have alloys with hubcaps.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/b/b9/Jaguar_XJ_20-spoke_%288×16%22%2C_Jaguar_growler_hubcap%29_alloy_wheel.jpg/640px-Jaguar_XJ_20-spoke_%288×16%22%2C_Jaguar_growler_hubcap%29_alloy_wheel.jpg
Jaguar has hubcaps caled “Growler”?
Best explanation I’ve seen yet, oh!
“casually assumed”
Of course you did darling.
Why would any tory arsewipe ever dream of knowing anything about what they were talking about.
Not if the hub caps were replaced.
This is a very odd incident, and I hope if widely broadcast it doesn’t become something else for vandals to do.
I know locking nuts aren’t secure and there are plenty of kits for removing them, but do random vandals carry them round?
The trim that covers the wheel nuts is called a knave plate. The hub cap protects the wheel bearing.
If the car had steel wheels then the chances of it having locking fasteners is going to be slim.
Also, if the tyres are quite recent and a good brand then it makes it pretty likely the thieves were after them instead to put on a similar model or use for another car.
Irrespective of your political leanings it must have been an awful experience and could have hurt others too – although I’m very surprised John didn’t have the accident much sooner or realise something was very wrong with his vehicle as the handling would have deteriorated badly within yards of setting off, let alone going so far up the M1.
As Chris says above, a good MP and hopefully this will not inspire some copycat cretins to repeat the same trick.
He must be a very slow driver and very careful on corners.
So thieves, removed all four nuts including any lock-nuts, without actuall y trying to jack-up the car and remove the wheels? I know Labour MPs have some really dumb constituents, but c’mon!! Has Mr Mann been nobbing any married women? Sounds like somebody has it in for him.
It’s well known thieves remove car wheels without the use of a jack, its all about speed.
If you have specialised equipment, none of which is so large it wouldn’t fit in the boot of another car, you can jack up a car and remove the wheels in seconds. Of course we’re using several men, but eliminate the fueler and the new tyre hauler, and replacing the wheels, and we can still get it done quickly with three men. You may want to use a van to load the wheels into, however.
Of course, a formula 1 team can change 4 wheels in under 3 seconds
Sometimes not successfully.
We changed a wheel in under one minute – but we were under fire.
my thoughts exactly.
I think you’ll find, mate, that if he has been knobbing someone else missus, he would have had it in for them!
Luckily this will never happen to Prince H@rry as he checks out his nuts on a regular basis.
Unfortunately, we all get to check his nuts and his tiny todger. Put it away lad!
Hey, Jules! Just sending you the best dating advice I can Give ya, as one Oz to another, mate:
I take it the protagonists are holed up in the Ecuadorian Embassy!
This New Labour Party is hilarious, it would seem playing with their Balls is OK, but now someone is removing their Nuts… looks like they will be firing blanks. Well nothing new then.
Jst like the labour party band wagon, no wheels.
Bed and board at your expense for 10 years…
Can I have the donation back?
Can I look after your missus?
I’m still here, still claiming benefits for the family, and costing you kaffir taxpayers a fortune while I’m in chokey.
Sabotaged by thieves, what kind of thieves would go to all that trouble to steal 16 wheel nuts, scrap metal value of iron must be seriously more than I had imagined.
They did nick his wheels as well and replaced them with some old ones. Probably swapped them over for their own
Weirdo thieves, why not just steal the car?.
The wheels with good tyres could be worth several hundred pound each for many cars. Not as traceable as the car itself so perhaps over £1000 for the cost of four old wheels with bald tyres from a scrap yard. Or they could have same type of car and needed new tyres.
What the hell was he doing in Liverpool anyway?
The A1 is on the other side of the country. More likely Stevenage…
If he has ‘wheel hubs’ it means he doesn’t have Alloy wheels. what century is he from?
http://www.saintclassified.co.uk/uploads/renault-cleo-xx-edi-395ba.jpg
I cannot believe Mann did not realise. There would have been a knocking noise and the steering would have been affected.
Mind you Mann is up is own arse, and so full of hatred for anyone sucessful he may not have noticed.
One of the firm’s Range Rovers once had loose wheel nuts after someone changed a wheel and did not tighten them. We drove perhaps fifty miles before the knocking noise started to get very bad. A colleague was convinced we had lost a wheel bearing but I had a look and noticed the loose wheel nuts.
I lost a wheel on M25.
Just managed to get onto hard shoulder. Gave the wheel a kick and it fell off.
Same thing. Kids had loosened the nuts.
Are they targeting us MPs? I’m not paranoid. Its just a fact that everyone hates us.
As I mentioned before: Ever had to change a wheel and the damn thing is stuck solid. Requiring a bash from a hammer.
Now I remember-Last time I did it I managed to find a small plank and a rock.
Driving 200 miles at high speed would shake ‘at least’ one of the wheels loose.
This is total and utter bollocks from Mann
I would have thought going round a couple of corners would’ve shown one of the wheels up.
There is a huge difference between having to knock a wheel off the hub because it’s stuck on with shite and corrosion, and the forces the wheel is subject to when cornering. That is why there is no way on earth that he drove all that way with NO wheel nuts. It is possible to drive with just two done up though.
I removed the wheel nuts from the economy & I am nuts.
…and the wheels are indeed falling off.
… and nobody believes a word MP’s say.
Ah bejaysus! Sure, it wouldn’t happen to be the tinkers after some more scrap metal would it?
This has the fingerprints of the CIA, MI5, the City of London Corporation, freemasons and the Dennis the Menace Fan Club all over it.
And Prince Philip!
Sounds like a hairy oul yarn to me.
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RfO4FmvHwi8?feature=player_detailpage&w=640&h=360%5D
John Mann is like Lord Prescott without the class!
This is total bollocks, he drove 200 miles with no wheel nuts on any wheel and he didn’t notice??? Really, it wouldn’t go more than a few 100 yards without wheel wobble.
If he did notice he should be prosecuted for dangerous driving, why not pull over and call AA or RAC.
Guido….investigate
Good point.
I’m with you – has the distinct smell of bullshit about it.
Some sort of deranged attention seeking?
Isn’t his car an old, rather bashed people carrier? If so, no chance this was about tyre theft. More likely a disgruntled political opponent – from either party
Or a disgruntled political opponent/activist from any of the other parties. He is a Labour politician after all.
The plot thickens.
Or the thick are plotting.
What a fortunate wanker he is.
No one should do this, even to a world class onanist.
Indeed, he should go buy a lotto ticket forthwith.
As an average joe reading this, I don’t understand why you are all leaping to mock this MP? Because of partisanship? Or because you are all so enamoured of Bob Diamond, a fine example of some of the most hated people in the country if not the world right now? Is this page some kind of wierd hangout for the incredibly small minority of people who still love bankers?
Remind yourself who were the chief architects of the banking system over the last decade. Brown and Balls. Balls is directly linked to the Libor scam. Labour didn’t have a problem with the stinking rich bankers when they were in power. So what has changed. Disgraceful.
And dont forget the part played by the great fuckwitted British Public who spent money they didnt have to buy things they didnt need to impress people they didnt like !
And in other news it was announced that Francesco Schettino, former Captain of the Costa Concordia, has been employed to drive the LibDem tour bus to Corby, via the River Mersey.
Labour are born liars. He has probably made the whole thing up and using it as a media stunt.
Mann has always been off his trolley!
If she was in Labour it would not happen to John Woman MP!
Somebody sent his Mrs a dead pigeon a few months ago.
Hmm. There seem to be 3 reports in media – with the Grauniad and the Beeb being a rehash one of the other it looks like. And another version accessed via the MP’s own website. None of them says what make of car he was driving. It is very pertinent to the story, perhaps moreso than comments about which committees he’s on in the reports.
I too can detect the slightest issue with tyre pressures, wheel balance etc, and find it difficult to believe a car could be driven at any speed for long without wheel nuts. We need to know if all the nuts were stolen and whether it was a Bentley or a Suzuki Swift he was driving to decide whether the wheels were worth nicking. Did Police breathalise him when the incident was reported? The story smells as it is reported.
“to bump him off seems a bit extreme”
Certainly while liblabcon laws apply.
After regime change there is nothing so awful the whole liblabcon gang don’t deserve to suffer it. A lot. And not just the MPs.