August 21st, 2012

Red Len’s £30 Million Labour Takeover War Chest

Red Len McCluskey is driving a secret policy aiming to build up a £30 million war chest to fund Unite’s “struggle for Labour’s soul“. An internal Unite document seen by Guido reveals that the union is planning a huge consolidation of its property portfolio:

The document then shows that Unite will spend the cash on a new political strategy which aims to parachute union-friendly candidates into marginal seats. They seek to:

  • “Advance Unite’s ‘policy agenda’ through Labour’s ‘constitutional structures.
  • Work with other affiliated unions to secure the adoption of trade union (or union-friendly) candidates in winnable constituencies in particular.
  • Increase Unite members’ involvement and participation in local Labour Parties.”

It’s the blueprint to turn Labour Red…


  1. 1
    George Galloway says:

    It isn’t gay if you’re willies don’t touch

  2. 2
    The public says:

    Bring it on!

  3. 3
    The BBC says:

    Tories receive huge donations from Bankers it has been revealed

  4. 4
    Ah! Monika says:

    Less Tax I hope.

  5. 5
    Sir William Waad says:

    I’d like to put all the union bosses and all the bank CEOs on a fertile, uninhabited tropical island and watch as they starved in the midst of plenty.

  6. 6
    Blob Crow says:

    Huze peyin fur der Shampaigne at dynna!

  7. 7
    Urea Lifter says:

    Isn’t that like selling the family silver ?

  8. 8
    Blob Crow says:

    I wont Shato nerve du Papps

  9. 9
    cupcake says:

    What a doos

  10. 10
    taC eht abbaJ says:

    “It’s the blueprint to turn Labour Red…”

    The redder the better and then ZanuLab will be even more unelectable…

  11. 11
    jgm2 says:

    Last throw of the dice probably.

    There are still tens of millions of voters who remember what happened the last time the unions got too much power in the UK. Len will need to keep his powder very dry. If the voters get a whiff that fuckwitted dinosaurs like him are again roaming the earth looking to throw their weight about then it might not be in the bag for Vacant Ned after all.

  12. 12
    Bent Bradshaw says:


  13. 13
    EdMiliband says:

    I am my own man. I am not beholden to my Union Paymathterth. One day I will be PM!

  14. 14
    Mr. William don'ttouch says:

    It might be you’re

  15. 15
    Kevin T says:

    Good. I hope they rename Labour the “Striking Public Sector Muslim Diversity Open Door Immigration Free The Criminals End Up Like Greece Party”.

  16. 16
    Loungelizard says:

    If Cameron had a sound grounding in business he’d spot the opportunity and flog the country to Unite for a cool £30ml, ‘Pleasure doing business with you Len……..sucker’

  17. 17
    Anthony Wedgewood Benn says:

    No mention of bringing back clause IV I note.

    Soc’ialists my arse!

  18. 18
    I don't need no doctor says:

    McCluskey’s democracy in action.
    Why doesn’t McCluskey use the money to set up a business and employ people? Far easier to be a subversive commie shit intent on fucking up the country. Well comrades you pay political donations – time to stop, and open your eyes.

  19. 19
    Midge says:


  20. 20
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Not while you have an hole in your arse.

  21. 21
    jgm2 says:

    Cameron should gift the NHS to the doctors and nurses and their union leaders. There you go lads. Now you do own the means of production.

    Then promptly arrange to have all operations done by much cheaper suppliers in Eastern Europe.

    See how they like actually running a business instead of telling other people how to run their business.

  22. 22
    JadedJean says:

    Dr Pa ul Cra ig Roberts over in the US says all parties are funded by the banksters.

    Heads they win, tails we lose.

  23. 23
    JB says:

    God help us all.

  24. 24
    Penfold says:

    Capital Gains Tax, unless they’ve done some Taxes Management.

  25. 25
    Give Over! says:

    It’s not in the bag anyway dickhead! Fvckwits like you believe opinion polls do you?

  26. 26
    Iain Duncan Smith says:

    To be perfectly frank,I’ll go and piss all over that Unite document.

    Water sports is alive and kicking.

  27. 27
    jgm2 says:

    Indeed. Imagine if, one hundred years or so ago, the union members started pooling their subscriptions and used them to buy shares in all the business they worked in. By now they’d own the means of production five times over.

    Instead of ‘fat cat bosses’ and ‘pension funds’ and ‘speculators’ making all the money they’d be the ones ‘enjoying the proceeds of growth’.

    Instead of which they got the taxpayer to buy most of the businesses and then sat around insisting that they be employed, in perpetuity, on ever-increasing pay and conditions.

    Just fucking well give these business away Cameron. Next time a rail franchise comes up just hand the fucking thing to Bob Crow. And build plenty of new roads.

  28. 28
    jgm2 says:

    I try not to. But they predicted a hung parliament – in the teeth of the biggest economic clusterfuck in 80 years delivered by the Maximum Imbecile and his jackass party. And we got one.

    It’s like ‘The Sixth Sense’. I see Imbeciles everywhere.

  29. 29
  30. 30
    Pundit Too says:

    Broad Street, West Bromwich?
    This is Twatson territory. Hmmmm.

  31. 31
    Penfold says:

    An ideological battle looms, which will see Labour hopefully obliterated.

    Would be interesting to learn how McCluskey intends to sieze the leadership of Labour, will he be following the Livingston solution of staging an overnight coup having rewritten the rule books?

  32. 32
    I don't need no doctor says:

    The quiet man talks sense.

  33. 33
    Pawn Sandwich says:

  34. 34
    Sir William Waad says:

    Do you remember at school, when you were five, doing pottery? And, whatever you thought you were making, it came out looking like Len McLuskey’s face?

  35. 35

    But the Bankers don’t parachute “Banker friendly” candidates into marginal seats – they wait for LieBore to come back into power, and , KERCHING! Job done!

  36. 36
  37. 37
    Pundit Too says:

    I remember in the offices in Jhbg we had an in-office competition to form a rhyming “poem” on each new person that came into our office.
    When it was my turn the person entering was the chief engineer Koos van der Merwe.
    So I said in my ditty that Koos was an open doos which provoked stunned silence, and then hilarity when it was realised that I did not know that doos has two meanings.
    Luckily Koos took it on the chin.

  38. 38
    David Camoron says:

    That sounds a rather good name for my party!

  39. 39
    Militant Tendency says:

    See! – told you we would be back one day…

  40. 40
  41. 41
    will says:

    The last time labour went down this route, we had michael foot in a donkey jacket at the centotaph on rememberence sunday. That put many older labour voters off as thye thought it disrespectful to the war dead.

    I also think that the days of union miltancy in large numbers are over as a lot of jobs have been outsourced and we no longer have a large population in unions.

    Also the teachers and NHS are now well paid and the the unions could find that the workers do not wish to be dragged out on strike for a unions leaders socailist agenda.

    Also a long strike could bolster david cameron against the unions

  42. 42

    ‘Cos I luv whoite wyne wiv beef.

  43. 43
    laugh, I nearly did says:

    Where’s call me Dave’s blue print to turn the Cons blue?

  44. 44
    SP4BS says:

    Saint winifreds bog standard primary didn’t have clay.

    We made do with making effigies of Ted heath out of wet mud.

  45. 45
    SP4BS says:

    See post 43.

  46. 46
    Pitch says:


  47. 47
    Meanwhile says:

    Alex Salmond spent almost £50,000 on flights for him and his entourage to attend the premiere of Brave in California, according to new figures.
    You cann’t beat splashing other peoples cash.

  48. 48
    jgm2 says:

    Also a long strike could bolster david cameron against the unions

    Indeed. He’s not doing a very good job of inciting one. He needs to fire a few hundred thousand of ‘em. See if they take the bait.

  49. 49
    SP4BS says:

    Bugger. (finds damp patch on clothing and everything becomes clear).

  50. 50

    Koos van der Merwe is, as you probably know, an SA stereotype about whom, much fun is quite unmercifully made.

  51. 51
    jgm2 says:

    Careful Alex. Don’t slip up so close to delivering English independence.

  52. 52
    mark serwotka says:

    As long as i get wales and full independence i will be happy

  53. 53
    EdMiliband says:

    Oh, I don’t uthe that. I make thpeecheth inthtead.

  54. 54
    The Emigre Banksters says:

    “There are still tens of millions of voters who remember what happened the last time the unions got too much power in the UK. ”

    And perhaps they were eventually defeated from within.

    Cui bono?

  55. 55
    Ah! Monika says:

    Lol true!

  56. 56
    jgm2 says:

    Not as happy as England.

  57. 57
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    Make sure its after pocket money day.

  58. 58
    annette curton says:

    A Len McCluskey Toby Jug ? very good for a first effort (pats on head).

  59. 59
    BBC Newsight says:

    We will not be covering this, or any Labour Civil Wat stories on Newsnight.
    On balance we believe that it will not be of any interest to the public

  60. 60
    BBC Newsight says:

    war ffs

  61. 61
    Midge says:

    He looks like a badly drawn face on a testicle

  62. 62
    Prep school boy says:

    We did arithmetic

  63. 63
    Ed Millibland says:

    I demand a Len led inquiry

  64. 64
    M says:

    This is a conspiracy to subvert our democracy. A job for James Bond.

  65. 65
    Julian Assanjjjje says:

    See what happens when you ejaculate without checking first?

  66. 66
    The Gorbals says:

    Is he going to put up a candidate in Corby?

  67. 67
    State Skool Teecher says:

    There is only one L in Miliband boy!

  68. 68
    annette curton says:

    It’s just a cartoon Alex.

  69. 69
    Santa says:

    Except at Christmas when there’s Noel! – I’ll get me Raindeer!

  70. 70
  71. 71
    Penfold says:

    Perhaps we should be encouraging Viscount Stansgate out of his self imposed retirement to give Len some economic tips on how to create that workers nirvana of full employment and high pay and low taxes with a lotus lifestyle for all.

  72. 72
    John Prescott says:

    Listen lad, it’s the case for the situation pertaining that the conspiracy, as it were, post the recent allegations of improprieriety as to the purchasing of that for which it was alleged and hence, it being so, that the cloning of my card by said Conservative enemies of mine in that for which yes.

  73. 73
    The tragedy of 7/11? says:

  74. 74
    Aunty Matter says:

    Good, the UK is dying too slowly for my liking, let the Unions slit the throat and get it over with fast.

  75. 75
    The tragedy of 7/11? says:

    The samami? Or was he thinking about salami? A one track mind!

  76. 76
    @OnTwitter says:

    *Yawns* Nothing happening on twitter either. Might have to check out Medja Gweedo.

  77. 77
    Fred Kite says:

    All cornfields and ballet in the evenings.

  78. 78

    You sir, are sitting in the column that follows 4! But a neat idea, all the same!

  79. 79
    Tuff Titty says:

    I C voda is getting upset cuz 4g has gone to a rival. That’ll teach m not to pay UK taxes.

  80. 80
    jgm2 says:

    The sumami (tsunami)? The one off Krakatoa? The one that had fuck all to do with the UK?

    7/11 is understandable. Where else is a fat fucker like him going to get his pastie microwaved in the evening. It must have been a disaster when it was suddenly shut down by a power cut.

  81. 81
    Julian Arssange says:

    I like my g hard.

  82. 82
    farmacyst says:

    Plagiarism is in the eye of the beholder. If all words were regarded as trade marked quotes the world would be a sadder place.

  83. 83
    ex pat says:

    Ex pat feelings?

  84. 84
    Lou Scannon says:

    Did you enjoy the ball gag the other day ?
    (Some might think that was going too far and too deep for a first date.)

  85. 85
    Santa says:

    I want my Clause back.

  86. 86

    Every time I have a shit, it looks like….

  87. 87
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Yes but he is one L of an idiot.

  88. 88

    Never added up for me…

  89. 89
    Norman Stanley Fletcher says:

    I’d put them on an infertile island.

  90. 90
    Anti Fabian says:

    30 million for Labour’s soul? Too late, Tony sold it to Beezebub in the 1990’s.

  91. 91

    But I did send her a “Sorry I Shot Up Ya, Sheila” card from Clintons near the Chilean Embassy. What fucking more does she want, for Krissakes?

  92. 92
    Greychatter says:

    Look where it started – Workers, pooling their resources – The Co-op movement??
    The original Unions – People pooling their money to build homes for each other – the original Friendly Societies,
    Look what happens when Politicians and Union Bosses stick their oars in!!

    The Arthur Scargills, Len McCluskeys flexing their muscles with Members Money, if they want political power they should stand at a General election. Can you imagine Len McCluskey’ face on an election Poster?

  93. 93
    jgm2 says:

    It wouldn’t take ‘em long to turn a fertile island into a lunar landscape. The unions would burn the whole fucking place down just to spite the bankers.

  94. 94
    Anonymous says:

    To be fair, Labour tried to be blue for 13 years and look where it got us.

  95. 95
  96. 96
    skippy says:

    With great hilarity, stupid rockspiders

  97. 97
    Happy Chap says:

    On a poster—NO — but on the end of a dockers hook —YES.
    Terrible chap.

  98. 98
    Flatcap Army says:

    Wait, wait, WAIT!

    A union has £30 MILLION of property? What the actual? WHY?

  99. 99
    Inferiority complex says:

    I’m worried about working people sticking up for themselves.

  100. 100
    Red Moscow Mike Handycock says:

    Hear hear, Len is aboslutely right. Labour needs to get back to it’s socialist roots, then I might rejoin. Boaz.

  101. 101
    The Golem says:

    +1 Understandable a lot of people will sneer at polls when they’re telling them what they don’t want to read. While I’m sure Cameron has no intention of going down with the ship, he is doing nothing that will prevent it sinking.

  102. 102
    Ed & Ed says:

    What this country needs is more spending, more borrowing and higher tax rates! It worked so well last time.

  103. 103
    You'd have thought there would be a feminist around for once when they are actually fucking relevant says:

    Hi George , what is the minimum period of time after intercourse that you can have intercourse again without consent before it counts as rape?

  104. 104
    You'd have thought there would be a feminist around for once when they are actually fucking relevant says:

    “minimum” should of couse be “maximum”.


  105. 105
    not now cato says:

    Except that it was not a donkey jacket at all, just a perfectly respectable overcoat as typically needed in November in Britain.

    There are thousands of reasons to crap on Labour, but that is not one of them.

  106. 106
    digger says:

    Jeez, even us old Bruce’s would at least give the sheila a bit of foreplay; “Brace yourself” was de rigeur.

  107. 107
    J. Hari says:

    It’s only plagiarism if you don’t cite the originator.

  108. 108
    some kid these days says:

    We are doing pure and applied climate change, and diversity outreach theory

  109. 109
    19th century class warrior says:

    I’m worried about sticking people working themselves up.

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