Sexy A-Levels Top Totty Round Up
Guido was sad to hear of the demise of the Sexy A-Levels blog this morning. Ever one to give the public what they want, here is Guido’s very own definitive round up of this years top A-Level totty:
Top marks…
How Mervyn King Lost Bank Battle War | WSJ
BBC Corporation Tax Horror Story | IEA
Sally Bercow Judgement in Full | Mr Justice Tugendhat
Commies Blame Capitalism For Terror Attack | The Commentator
Lord Black v Press Regulation | Guardian
Osborne’s Complacency | FT
DWP’s Welfare Failings | Isabel Hardman
Get Used to Coalitions | David Aaronovitch
Woolwich a Showcase in the Banality of Evil | Fraser Nelson
The Enemy Within | Max Hastings
Muslim Led Military-Style Free School Needed | Toby Young
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
Ed Balls stretches credulity by claiming he isn’t ambitious…
“I would love to be part of Ed’s Labour government but what I do next for me is not an all-consuming passion. I’m more bothered, in a personal sense, about getting to grade 8 piano by the time I’m 50.”
Bill Quango MP says:
Ned Flanders – Clegg
Lisa Simpson – Natalie Bennett
Milhouse – Hilary Benn
Martin Prince – Andy Burnham
Edna Krabappel – Luciana Berger
Crazy Cat Lady – Glenda jackson
Comic book guy – John Prescott
Carl – Chucka
Lenny – Philip Hammond
Willie – Eric joyce
Poochie – Gordon Brown
Reverend Lovejoy – Tony Blair
One from the top row and two from the middle please Carol
All of them please. Boaz.
I’m not greedy. I’ll just take the 2 in the middle top row.
Is this what the blog has sunk to? Lame.
Pervy.
And in the meantime Guido ignores the Sky headline that “Hague says Assange will not have safe passage”. How can Hague be so blatant – and Assange is not even his Spad.
Strikers? I’d have them taken out, gassed, and shot in cold blood, like vermin.
Now don’t forget Top Gear Live! in Jo’burg on Dec 10/11/12. Tickets still on sale at very reasonable 1,000 rand each. 2 for 3,000 rand.
Way too old!
Sorry. They have just been oiled up for the man three in front.
Fawkes, a question. All this ‘get yer tits out’, protesting too much, like knob jockey Clegg’s ’30 conquests’, are you a bum boy?
Maybe
where are they? – loads of talent
Stock pictures – probably taken years ago.
….and you probably took some of ‘em.
The girls on the left middle are at Brighton College, LaurIe Penny’s alma mater, from the daily mail
No wonder she is such a sour faced old trout, it must be difficult being a minger and having those lovelies as the competition.
Next generation of advanced shoe tiers and basket weavers have crossed the next hurdle in the world envious most expensive child care system ever constructed by man…
Sexist!!!!!!!
I`m telling Mr Leveson of you.
Racist. The media so love mass immigration and indulge in ethnofilia, but when they want a pretty teenager…….
Must be pale and blonde. And 18. Oh god. Bikini body. BIKINI BODY! Miley Cyrus showing off her enviable bikini body on the beach. UH UH UHHHH
I noticed there are no West Indian mothers children in these A-level photos.
You’re wacist Diddi – bet you like Wodger Wabbit tho
Het Dididums – just a thought – presumably you wouldn’t want the results on WHite paper for yer effnics now would you? So what then? – black … brown … each according to ….
and of course with black ink for the writing.
The photos must have been taken in St Helens or Sefton, or Knowsley or Wirral.
Never Mind Hat – they’re prob all Lesbo – or programmed to take it up the bum – so rest content that you and your LieBore chums have completed all you set out to do.
Now just fuck off and let the world return to rights.
That’s all very well.
How about one for the chaps please?
How’s about a bit of Ethel Merman and a show tune, instead? That should go down well with all the poofters, you should pardon the expression:
That’s Alan Duncan in the black dress, surely?…
Yay, I’ve got the grades to do a sociology degree at Sussex University
Congratulations. You will be well qualified for a job sat behind a desk in the public service, and very little else. Best vote Labour, eh?
Come on little bruv, you know you were taught English properly, even if you can’t speak it very well. In this context it’s “sitting”, not “sat”.
Yes, stop pretending to be working class.
BBC circa 1997-2010
EXAM GRADES RISE! HORAAAY! VIVA LABOUR! NO DUMBING DOWN HERE!
BBC circa 2010-2015
Exam grades have DROPPED, due to evil Tories. This has nothing to do with exam marking standards rising and politicians not hollering at examining bodies to give the ‘correct’ number of ‘A’s until Universities need to give remedial lessons in Maths and English to supposedly bright students.
My step daughter left primary school practically an expert on man made global warming. In her mind it was scarily real and needed drastic action to remedy, or we would all die. She knew the dangers of MMGW, she knew fuck all about the times table.
She is Year 8 now and is in V2 for maths. Only one more set to be the very best in her year at maths. She is still incapable of her times tables. In truth if I asked her to subtract 14 from 65, she would struggle to do it without resorting to fingers.
I despair because she is a bright girl. But you can’t expect even a bright girl to know maths, if nobody can be bothered to take the time to connect with her and teach.
Maffs? The square of the hippopotamus is equal to some other squares on the side, or so I’ve been led to believe. And I was Chancellor of the Exchequer.
Maths is just an evil construct used by evil tories to force concepts like ‘balanced budgets’ and ‘financial responsibility’ on people, and calculate things like ‘youth unemployment’ and use it as an excuse to prevent lovely third world unskilled labour immigration.
They were at least 50% more attractive under the last government.
I find women zero percent attractive.
So you get zero percent growth when you see pictures of them?
That’s because NewLiebore were borrowing huge amounts of attractiveness each year that we now have to pay back
Couldn’t they just print some pictures of Angela Eagle, and repay the attractiveness debt in one shot?
+1
Yes, Jimmy.
I am afraid, once again, you are quite correct
One little drawback, in a manner of speaking. They all had cocks.
Presume you’re talking about the Eagle brothers?
Uuugh! Did you mean to Take It to the Limit?
You are weird
Apparently Palmerston once went to the wrong room one night while staying at some country house and startled a bishop’s wife by bursting through the door with a cry of ‘cock a doodle doo,’
A* for totty.
Tits oot for the lads !!
How can this be? Do they not have any Somali refugees they can photograph doing a lap of honour?
The photographer from our local paper keeps a brace of Somalis in the boot of his car in case he’s sent to do a school shot. He sticks them in front of the picture and explains to the head teacher that they are a legal requirement. He goes on to say that for £10 they’ll stop scowling and for £20 they’ll try to grin a little. But for £50 they’ll hop back in the boot of the car and leave the all white kids to gloat about their Oxbridge success.
Too old. Let me know when it’s GCSE rsults.
Key Stage 3?
Hang on a sec. Guido, where are the darker skinned ladies? Are they all thick or something, or too ugly to be on the totty watch?
Hideously WHITE as well as female. Not a single black babe…
Not just Sexist, but blatantly RACIST!!!
Diane Fatbutt will be most upset. Don’t be surprised if she goes all “white trash” on us again. Now, she is really a racist pig in knickers.
West Indian mums will go to the wall for their daughters exam results pics.
OK babe – don’t upset yourself – I’ll take over and earn us a nice little wadge
Er, surely that’s a ginger sneaking in there?
Skating on very thin ice there- don’t you realise what ginger is an anagram for?
Perhaps E will post a picture of her innie?
Don’t encourage the tart u fucker
That is no way to speak about a lady, sir.
Pistols at Dawn!
you spastic.
OK. If you don’t want to wait.
*parp*
you spastic
Where is the point?
you’re a spastic, obvious innit?
Fancy a shag?
I like canoes.
Two Eskimos paddling in a kayak became chilly so they lit a fire in the boat but it sank.
You can’t have your kayak and heat it.
Fuck me that’s terrible.
Guido is taking the piss out of the BBC you knob.
So am I. Twat.
Prig
I love intelligent debate. Why am I an MP?
“Ranting that Brits “delight in the misfortune of others” he also applied his analogy to the road, claiming the English are hardwired to loathe and vilify anyone driving a “supercar”.
He continued: “Outwardly, we hated communist Russia; inwardly, its what 95 per cent of the country wants.
“Bankers. Estate Agents. Politicians. Journalists. Anyone in a suit is basically evil and must, after they’ve been sacked, go to prison. Anyone in a donkey jacket? They’re basically good and must have a plasma television immediately.”
http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2012/08/16/jeremy-clarkson-britain-twitter-trolls-mock-dogs-death_n_1788394.html
No, Jeremy, it’s just you we hate, you overpaid, conceited, pigshit-thick loudmouth.
Anybody who winds up the bedwetters so much can’t be all bad Sir William. Although anthropomorphising public sector workers was taking it a bit too far.
I always did have you down as a lefty ponce Mr Dickwaad.
Yup, and I bet he has a fucking great wind farm plastered all over his “estate”. Still, his cover has been blown so now we can all taunt him until he fucks of to Labour list or whatever it is called this week.
The guy is on the nose. He’s also funny. And the only reason he is hated is because he is rich.
and invariably right
yes I do have one eye and I am an idiot
Have you buried the mutt yet, Jezza? Oh, why do I want to know?…I mean…just asking…no particular reason, really, just curious…sure, yeah…well, have you?
Not 95%.
Living on the south coast I see loads of supercars and plenty of convertibles. Despite most people down here not being able to afford a supercar, a convertible is achieveable and tend not to slash soft top roofs, key BMWs etc.
I wouldn’t dream of taking a supercar or a convertible any further north than Oxfordshire (with the exception of a small outpost called Cheshire, although this is rather close to Liverpool). Beyond this point there are too many people who think that it is legitimate to vandalise nice cars. I understand that they all also vote Labour and that this is some sort of mental illness.
My whippet reckons your a right cock, but he thinks you might have a point.
Namely the Romans were your average Tories. The Celts voted Labour. Today in Roman areas like England we use stairs and have glass and other things. In Wales and other Celt areas they drink a lot and are generally uncivilized. The closer you get to the Celts, the less civilized.
Do we give overseas aid to Ecuador ??
India are heading to Mars…. wtf, we give them overseas aid also…..
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2188746/India-announces-plans-Mars-probe-ambitious-space-programme-takes-step.html
Feel proud you paid for this Indian space adventure!
I’ve asked my people to make sure there is a union jack on the side, that should be good enough.
You mean union flag, Northern Pratt.
Your not expecting it to land in the sea then?
Its a Union Jack when I have it
I demand these pictures are retracted, and replaced with heavy women in burkas.
You could argue that women in burkas don’t tend to do A levels as they are forbidden from bettering themselves in any way, but myself and my fellow travellers seem to have a blind spot for that sort of thing in glorious cultures that are so much better than ours don’t you know.
Not so. Our university medical and dental schools are stuffed to the gills with burkhas. Unfortunately, as soon as they qualify they are (forcibly) married off to their illiterate cousin from Sh*it*i*st*an and are never allowed to leave the house again.
I asked a bunch of 18 year old girls to jump up and down for a photograph once.
I’m still not allowed within 100 metres of Little Mix.
The pathetic BBC.
Around 44 seconds you can see a policeman recover what appears to be a pistol from the dead (and wounded) miners.
On the upside, it is now a bl*ack government so they can’t blame whitey any more. They wanted to play at being all growed up. Good luck with that.
I don’t know why there’s any white folk left in SA. They must be out of their fucking minds after seeing what happened just up the road in Zimbabwe.
I used to work with a white aircraft engineer, who was also a qualified helicopter pilot about 12 years ago. He was born in Northern Rhodesia (Zambia), moved to (Southern) Rhodesia as a kid and then moved to South Africa when Mugabe came to power. He came to Britain in the mid-90′s when Mandela brought “democracy” and things were already starting to get difficult for whites. A highly skilled man being forced out of his own home due to the colour of his skin. I wonder if he is still here or whether he has had to move on again.
Indeed, a lot came back to Blighty in the 90′s as I worked with many of them myself, the stories the poor buggers told… *sigh*
It’s black on black now, no one else to blame here.
Thank fuck the SA government at the time got rid of those nuclear weapons.
Peckham just gets worse and worse.
Road Kill
On the other hand, they won’t be striking again.
Lesson learnt for today.
Why am I not surprised to see retarded mong Tariq Ali out in support of Assange?
I look forward to seeing the lesbian, feminist sisterhood condem shithead Ali.
But I won’t hold my breath.
The winner of our latest Euromillions Millionaire prize is a Mr Assange from London. Please pop down to the main Post Office in Victoria, to claim your prize. I will be there to congratulate you.
Guess where I borrowed my look from, ßilly
I’d so fuck that
He’s got £20K of my secret backer’s, I mean my own, bail money you know. I want him OUT. Don’t believe what you read in the press.
The jumping up and down is asked for by the fat sweaty picture editors. There’s more chance of an upskirt or nipple slip.
Makes me laugh that if 55 year old men went around photographing 17 year old girls normally they’d be arrested.
Also laughable that the anonymous blogger (well she’s not actually as everyone knows who she is) fleetstreetfox thinks that photographing teen girls is not pervy and is all good fun and that as men smell are are stupid who wants to photograph them.
It’s traditional since the Mash declared it. They all have their leaping clothes ready and make a point of getting down to the school so the local papers can get the pictures in for the early editions.
The head teachers encourage it and are on standby with a quote and numbers; any journalist who can be bothered to ring up the day before is guaranteed a story and a crowd who have been rehearsing group jumps.
Jumpin’ Jehoshafat!
The blonde in the middle row, left hand picture will be out celebrating later. That’s a packet of Durex in her jeans pocket.
Engineer! You do worry me sometimes.
Any 15 year-old can see immediately that it is a Harley Big Twin XL Chrome Master Cylinder Reservoir Cover (85-95 Front 87-03 Rear.)
20 Rothmans King size.
Squashed snout.
Idea for a glossy coffee table book – “Attractive, middle class girls of the Telegraph”
Girls who have appeared in the Telegraph over the years for no other reason other than their pretty face and attractive figure.
e.g. A generic story in early January about the seasonal increase in gym memberships with an attractive girl (but not a professional model) in lycra at a local gym in Surrey/Hampshire/Herts etc.
Full page spreads of the girls in country casuals, sensible but fetching business atire, or sports gear, with a short caption about their interests, which homecounties town they hail from and their favourite tipple.
Volume two could be an A-level results day special. A great Christmas present for your middle age male friend or relative.
Do you have a penthouse suite for a week please?
That, or Anti-War lesbians of the Gaurdian.
What the fuck is a “psychic toll”?
It reads your bank details from your brainwaves and empties your account every time you drive by.
It reads your bank details from your brainwaves and empties your account every time you drive by.
To perceive information hidden from the normal senses through extrasensory perception (ESP)… Toll road, a road for which road usage tolls are charged.
Ok? hope that helps.
For whom the ball tolls.
For whom the bell trolls.
Not getting enough at home, Guido?
Really? I bet you fucking hate The Sun.
No, it’s a good laugh. I’m just not a married man pushing 50 ogling teenagers.
Listening to the spastic crap today on this site is mind blowing.
The Mathew Shite show was appalling to say the least,that guy sat there with 3 yards of fabric wrapped around his noggin,what is that all about?.
If he wants to do that I would suggest that he pisses off to a country that accepts this kind of brain dead crap.
He looks what he is and that is brain dead asshole.
I know it’s only Wiki but who fucking cares anymore? Everyone is at it.
…
After graduating, he joined the BBC Scotland graduate production trainee scheme.
Who would have guessed that!
His younger brother is the film and TV actor and writer Sanjeev Kohli.
Keep it in the family!
In July 2009, Kohli was suspended from his roving reporter role on The One Show for six months after a complaint by a female member of staff for inappropriate behaviour. After he apologised, it was announced in March 2010 that it was possible he could return to the show.
He’s a lefty so anything is allowed.
In June 2008, The Herald reported: “Properties owned and rented by comedian Hardeep Singh Kohli have been branded “grubby and dirty” and substandard as the celebrity was issued with warnings over his conduct as a landlord. Mr Kohli… was also denied three-year licences for two flats which are part of a raft he owns and leases through his father’s company in Glasgow’s west end.
And an utter nasty dirty bastard to boot!
Screw the fucking lot of them.
ps. He’s a “comedian” in much the same vein as Lenny Henry is.
You are all commanded to laugh at whatever he says. Forget about how unfunny or original it really is. If you don’t laugh you are obviously a racist and deserve to be dragged off and get re-educated. Fuck that. Call a spade a spade and be done with it.
Bbbut but but he wears a KILT, with a turban as well!
Genius!
Hilarious!
Laugh immediately, or you are just a racist.
Far too racist for my liking. Where are the black boys whose mums will no doubt be going to the wall for them, unlike the nasty white people who used to run this place?
Those pictures will soon be only historical
If Parliament holds one goal categorical
It is to replace this irksome, old nation
The final solution is immigration
I’m watching this tonight. Do I start with Tom, Dick or Harry?
I’m watching this tonight. Do I start with Tom, Dick or Harry?
I’m watching this tonight. Do I start with Tom, Dick or Harry?
I want to bum Julian!
http://cep.lse.ac.uk/pubs/download/CP163.pdf
David Blunkett wants to donate ‘his most vital organ’ to science :
http://tinyurl.com/csd26dv
Shome mishtake, shurely ?
Has anyone seen my A to Z ?
I do like a few uniformed officers outside Harrods.
There were once two mice who lived in a museum.
One evening when the museum had closed, one of the mice crawled into an enormous suit of armour.
He became lost before he knew it.
‘Help!’ he shouted to his timorous murine friend. ‘Help me make it through the knight!’
I salute the indefatigability of the SA Police.
I salute the uninflatability of Justin Greening’s mates.
Rest assured that Julian Assange’s passage is not safe with me around.
Maybe Ecuador should organise Coulson, Brooks, etc to escape justice as well. One law for Murdoch staff, another for rap*ists.
I am not a ra*ist.
A little *issed, maybe.
http://tinyurl.com/cqtet4n
A man after my own heart.
If one cannot control them, shoot them!
Your urges, you mean ? Hey, look, the Indians were shooting at the moon and now they’re heading for Mars :
http://tinyurl.com/cofz6p5
STOP THROWING OUR MONEY AT THE INDIANS, DAVE, YOU TWAT.
THEY DON’T WANT IT OR NEED IT.
The lions and tigers are rioting in SA because they weren’t provided with enough zoo loos.
I’m papering over my crack with Euros. (It’s all they’re good for these days.)
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/financialcrisis/9480990/Finland-prepares-for-break-up-of-eurozone.html
Phew ! Which one of you farted ?
Budge over a bit.
Bit too young really, we’d all get arrested, couldn’t you change the qualifications to degree or Phd level, that way we get brains with beauty, without being arrested.
Ia lova the bunga bunga, the younga the betta
I get a hard thinking about how I screwed the British by selling their gold cheap to save the banks.
You are Goldon Blown and I craim my R500.
Solly, I cannot terr white flom wong
Pity really we need at least one point off Ukraine!
All the hype today is crap.
How many of these people have got degrees that will mean something to this country.
I suspect not many,prove me wrong.
As if more proof were needed…
http://www.thisisgloucestershire.co.uk/Gloucestershire-students-celebrate-GCSE-results/story-16755689-detail/story.html