August 15th, 2012

Chancellor of Fire

The Prime Mentalist has caused a stir north of the border by recreating the famous opening scene from Chariots of Fire. Still dressed in a suit, Brown sprinted across a Scottish beach with former first minister Henry McLeish. A stunned eyewitness reported:

They were suited and booted and I wondered if it was a photo call. But there were no cameras in sight. They carried on to the front of the beach and it looked as if they were making a line in the sand. Brown ran about 50 metres and then stopped. The others stopped for a second but then carried on and ran for another 300 metres.”

Knowing Gordon, they probably should have let him win…


  1. 1
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’m kicking against the pricks.

  2. 2
    Tess Tecal says:

    They should have thrown him into the sea.

  3. 3
    Gordon Brown-Stuff says:

    Oh deary me…..I’m splattered all over again nurse….I was only really good at being a Number Two, you know……….

  4. 4
    Durr... says:

    Thank Virginia Bottomly for “Care in the Community”. We are all at risk.

  5. 5
    Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin ( Member in absentia ) says:

    Not Usain Bolt but Insane Dolt.

  6. 6
    Tony Blair, Millionaire says:

    Poo Poo to that

  7. 7
    Liarpoliticians says:

    Gordon Brown says if Scotland sticks with the UK, we can “pool resources” (from English taxpayers).

  8. 8
    Andrew Efiong says:

    Aha, Brown is on the run now!

    He was probably trying to escape the toxic radioactive rubbish that he ignored for so long near his constituency.

    It reminds me of a Kinnock classic

  9. 9
    Liarpoliticians says:

    Was it that radioactive Scottish beech that Brown keeps going on about?

  10. 10
    Left wing Socialist fuckwit says:

    You know Guido you really must put up a health warning before placing a picture of that utter utter twat on any website. Either way the fucker should be breaking rocks at Broadmoor not prancing across the sand.

    Perhaps someone could though point him in the direction of Parliament to do the job HE IS FUCKING PAID TO DO!!!!!

  11. 11
  12. 12
    ToonBob... says:

    Do the Paralympics have an appropriate section for these people?

  13. 13
    anon and loving it. says:

    IDS just marmalised a very negative Charlotte Hawkins ( dead fit by the way) on Sky News on every point put to him. Excellent performance.
    Has anyone else noticed how left wing/anti government sky have become in the last 6 months. Is Rupert flexing his muscles in a show of petulance?

  14. 14
    Woodpecker says:

    Beech…err like a tree?

  15. 15

    He’s going for gold

  16. 16
    Moussa Koussa says:


    Nice to see another British company getting a kick in the teeth. Largest Rail franchise now in the hands of the yanks. Well done Justine “ Jolly Hockey sticks” Greening

  17. 17
    Durr... says:

    No, like a nut.

  18. 18
    Steve Miliband says:

    Can he now become a Church of Scotland Missionary in China?

  19. 19
    Henry Kelly says says:

    “What am I….?”

  20. 20
    Durr... says:

    I think it’s more physical issues – mental illness has to catch up.

  21. 21
    Steve Miliband says:

    Is Aberdeen in America? When did that happen?

  22. 22
    Durr... says:

    Then he’ll just give it away.

  23. 23
    AC1 says:

    Benefits cause RIOTS! (in France this time).

  24. 24

    Chancellor’s pant on fire

    The true story of a Scots marathon false accounting athlete competing in the 2010 summer election race. A devout Scottish missionary who runs for God, gold and the love of power.

    Eric Littell – Gordon Brown
    Sam Mussabini – Keith Vaz
    Jennie Littell – Sarah Brown
    Lord Andrew Lindsay – David Cameron

    Soundtrack – by the Arctic Monkeys

  25. 25
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Just out of purely morbid curiosity and for no other reason, I pose the question, has anyone ascertained the sobriety (or lack thereof) of the two gentlemen in question at the time and place of occurrence?

    In short: Were they pickled, or what?

  26. 26
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Is there another missing person from ML11 8RP?

  27. 27
    AC1 says:

    Like the way a malaria parasite pools resources with it’s victim.

  28. 28
    genghiz the kahn says:


  29. 29
    smoggie says:

    Still chasing all over Obama Beach I see.

  30. 30
    AC1 says:

    It’s awful how the left can be so openly racist and hope to get away with it.

  31. 31
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    What an absolute effing twerp this man is.

  32. 32
    Wot I fink about stuff says:

    You must try reading before commenting TaT

  33. 33
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Gordon’s a Church Missionary,
    He’s saving young girls from sin,
    He’ll save you a blonde for 10/-,
    My God how the money rolls in.

  34. 34
    smoggie says:

    Too many Little Englanders on this site posing as socialists. We need foreign investment and expertise as much as the foreigners need ours.

    Do we really want the yanks to close their markets to us in retaliation?

  35. 35 says:

    Funny how you only see Brown nowadays when he is on holiday.

  36. 36
    Gordon Brown says:

    I am taking the principled stand of Eric Liddle to a new level by refusing to attend my workplace on ANY day of the week never mind Sundays !

  37. 37
    Steve Miliband says:

    Producer – Lord Peter of MandyChump
    Director – Len McHusky of Unite

  38. 38
    Gordon Brown says:

    Today i will be doing the Mobot !

  39. 39
    SP4BS says:

    So americans are a different race from “us” now are they?

  40. 40
    Aunty Matter says:

    The BBC were spinning that unemployment wouldn’t fall this month (the BBC say that every month) yet once again it falls.

    So just turning on the BBC TV news I hear some BBC twat moaning about unemployment once again. Funny that the BBC doesn’t seem to think that Labour’s employing of over 1,000,000 extra people in the public sector we can’t afford is a problem.

  41. 41
    Steve Miliband says:

    So that’s another beach in Fife affected by contaminated matter.

  42. 42
    SP4BS says:

    A lot of american markets are closed to non-americans.

  43. 43 says:

    Give the guy a break will you? He needs a good long holiday after all that work he hasn’t been doing in Westminster.

  44. 44
    Aunty Matter says:

    I thought you liked to do the fingerbot?

  45. 45
    turd says:

    Eric bone Idle, you mean

  46. 46
    trud says:

    Eric bone Idle, you mean

  47. 47 says:

    Brown ran 50 meters then realised he was never going to get to the toilets in time.

  48. 48
    Disenfranchined Conservative says:

    Why should the BBC think it’s a problem? After all, David Camoron doesn’t.

  49. 49 says:

    Usain Bolt not running in the UK because of the oppressive taxes he will have to pay here. Multiply that figure by 15000 and you begin to realise why the country has no growth.

  50. 50
    Moussa's lovechild says:

    No apostrophe in ‘its’ please.

  51. 51
    The Screenplay abridged says:

    …..however his dream of performing at the Olympics are dashed when he is overlooked in place of a young whippersnapper called Blair who then goes on to win Gold at three successive Games before being cast out after it was revealed he misled the Olympic Comittee over a particularly disasterous Athletic venture he organised in foreign lands.
    Having spent this time plotting his revenge Brown seizes the moment and is selected ( unopposed) to be the lead man in the British Olympic Relay Team, however on the day of the race Brown is found to be not up to the job and drops the baton on the first Lap thus securing an inglorious defeat for the Nation .

  52. 52
    Moussa's lovechild says:

    Isn’t one Jock company being replaced by another Jock company?

  53. 53
    Norman Tebbit says:

    Passengers can get on their bikes

  54. 54
    BBC says:

    Thank you for your views.
    The BBC strives to ensure that its news and current affairs coverage is accurate, verified and free from bias.

    We have investigated your claim but cannot see any evidence that the baby seal clubbing, benefits cutting, hospital closing, privatising, banker kissing Tory party has reduced unemployment.

  55. 55
    Eric Joyce says:

    Possibly since Falkirk is in the Arctic Circle, well according to my travel expense claims anyway.

  56. 56
    Gordon Brown says:

    Can I refer the honourable gentleman to the reply I gave at Comment 38

  57. 57
    Really? says:

    French and German markets too, if they consider a company to be a strategic asset or foreign ownership not in the national interest. If we had any brains we would do the same, unfortunately we let the ChiComms and Germans etc own anything they want

  58. 58
    Gordon Brown says:

    or 36 even…

  59. 59
    Moussa Koussa's pet budgie says:

    “Syria crisis: Blast near Damascus military compound”

    I see they’re spending Hague’s £5m wisely.

  60. 60
    Gordon McVandal says:

    British beaches for asylum seekers

  61. 61
    Gordon McVandal says:

    I’ve got the Spice Girls on my empty3 player. Nurse, need potty now.

  62. 62
    Gordon the Mong says:

    I will have you know that I even make love in my suit, ask Sarah if you don’t believe me.

  63. 63
    Deep Froat says:

    Gordon is just great. Why I bet he could breath underwater for an hour…please Gordon just try it…..

  64. 64
    Points of view says:

    The Today programme tried its best to link the Tories with suicides this morning.

  65. 65
    George Galloway formerly of private radio says:

    So that is why Gordon Brown was no good at running the country with him being a short distance sprinter and the country needing a Snickers runner.

  66. 66
    Liarpoliticians says:

  67. 67
    Anonymous says:

    england has NO resources fool

  68. 68
    Martin Gaughan says:

    It was me that seen it and phoned the daily record

  69. 69
    robbie says:

    Was the results at Atlanta an argument for the Union too?

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