August 14th, 2012

Oxford Tory “Used BBC Show to Smear Opponents
Joe Cooke Solicited TV Documentary

It seems that there is more than meets the eye to last week’s BBC2 hatchet job documentary exploring the life of former Oxford University Conservative Association (OUCA) president Joe Cooke. Guido has learned the camp silver-suited boy-of-the-people is facing claims that he personally and deliberately organised the programme in an attempt to smear his political opponents. The dirty tricks start at a young age.

When OUCA were originally approached on behalf of the BBC the response was an unequivocal “no“. Cooke himself warned that it had the “potential to be a disaster“, while another Oxford Tory says: “the overall verdict was that they’d make us look like tw*ts“. However, Guido is told that Cooke then independently emailed the television company to suggest making a programme focusing on himself. His motivation has come into question from those involved:

Cooke wanted to use the BBC to attack his potential successors in the national press, it was more than coincidence that a camera crew turned up as soon as he became president. He has a history of smearing his opponents, you can see from the show he how he attacked his predecessors. He was also after a safe seat in Yorkshire.

That despite Guido seeing an email from Cooke in which he warned his colleagues: “we must not allow vanity to harm the association“. Says the boy with the silver-topped cane…


  1. 1
    OMG says:

    What a rotter!

  2. 2
    Norman Tebbit says:

    “Oxford Tory says: “the overall verdict was that they’d make us look like tw*ts“”

    Wouldn’t be hard would it?

  3. 3
    Golden Boy says:

    Should make an excellent MP

  4. 4
    Mr Hague says:

    I have a very safe seat in Yorkshire

  5. 5
    not in OUCA says:

    OUCA looking like ‘tw*ts’? Never.

  6. 6
    Jimmy says:

    I’m pretty broadminded and accept that some people will experiment with conservatism at college. There is disturbing evidence however that this may be linked with conservatism in later life. Will no one think of the children?

  7. 7
    Sam Hoy says:

    I dont know why everyone is having a go at this guy. It was awful that he had to change his accent and keep his history secret to fit in!

  8. 8
    Anonymous says:

    “another Oxford Tory says: “the overall verdict was that they’d make us look like tw*ts“”

    That must have been a challenge.

  9. 9
    FFS says:

    Slimy little Turd, A bit like the young Dubaya.

  10. 10
    Anonymous says:

    If only he had been obsessed about cheese and biscuits then none of this would have happened

  11. 11

    Just the person for parliament.

  12. 12
    Orielensis says:

    OUCA has always been a Hoon-magnet, but even by the standards of the camp crypto-Nazi peasant poseurs they usually attract, Cooke stood out for his extreme Hoonery. He’s an arse, his enemies were probably arses, and the BBC are to be congratulated for giving us all a good laugh by ensuring none of the freaks featured in the show will ever get seats in Parliament.

  13. 13
    Gordon Brown says:

    i wonder if he would like to join team GB

  14. 14
    Nullbymouth says:

    ‘He has a history of smearing his opponents’

    What, with KY Jelly Lube?

  15. 15

    You didn’t Jimmy. Therefore, as the saying goes, you have no heart.

  16. 16
    Ivy Baton-Round says:

    What a fucking cünt.

  17. 17
    Nullbymouth says:

    I believe its OK because he never actually inhaled swallowed.

  18. 18
    Mornington Crescent says:

    “…by ensuring none of the freaks featured in the show will ever get seats in Parliament.”

    We can but hope but don’t speak too soon.

  19. 19
    Sir William Waad says:

    He thinks he’s Ken Tynan! No, sonny, Kenneth Tynan you ain’t.

  20. 20
    Labour Websters Dictionary says:


    Guarantors of rather large loans.

  21. 21
    Moussa Koussa says:

    Unfortunately he is the core of the Tory Future Fraternity

  22. 22
    FagBot says:

    He’d look good on the end of my cane.

  23. 23 says:

    Does this mean that the standard Labour voter has a cloth cap and a whippet?

  24. 24

    SNP ministers allowed Abdelbaset Ali Mohmed al-Megrahi to be given abiraterone (prostate cancer drug) at the cost of the taxpayer whilst denying it to all Scottish citizens … until their eventual climbdown yesterday.

  25. 25
    Terrible But True says:

    Seems the lad is a shoo-in to boost the roster (necessary stiff competition from Laurie Penny, Jonnie Marbles and Owen Jones, mind) occupied In some minds chez Aunty by oldsters Jeremy Clarkson, Andrew Neil and, most hilariously still, Nick Robinson.

    Bringing the ‘balance’ tally to 19,997 to 3 or, as the BBC would have it when things look a bit iffy on the objectivity front, a ‘split’.

    Meanwhile, on the holding ‘power to account’ basis everyone, from Helen Boaden to the outgoing DG, must have thought all their boats has arrived…

    “use the BBC to attack his potential successors in the national press”

    The BBC? Happily allowing itself to sow discord won an enemy of enemy basis hen it suits? I am shocked… shocked.

    Actually this sweetheart seems to deserve all his career path deserves, and those he purports to support for allowing themselves to get in such a pickle, but one does still wonder if our most trusted national media monopoly remains a tad selective on what it chooses to report, and what not, even… or especially if handed to them on a plate.

  26. 26
    Sir William Waad says:

    There’s always plenty of money for Abroad and foreigners.

  27. 27
    Nullbymouth says:

    and that the standard LibDem has a sackcloth garment and hemp rope belt

  28. 28
    Bog standard Labour voter says:

    Hey up! Our Tracey hasn’t got a whippet. She has a tattoo on her arse and a ring through her nose. She also has five kids by five different fathers.

  29. 29
    Flies n Shit says:

    OUCA attracts twats. Sally Bercow was their social secretary before she dropped out of University

  30. 30
    Joe cooke says:

    The markers of the man who eats badgers were always going to find me.

  31. 31
    Lefties are thick, righties are nasty says:

    All the programme did was expose Oxford Tories singing Nazi songs and making anti-s*mitic comments. Nothing surprising there.

  32. 32
    CCHQ says:

    Why haven’t we kicked this disaster out of the conservative party yet?

  33. 33
    genghiz the kahn says:

    When are the BBC going to show how to get on in the Labour Party – young, gifted and related to an MP. Keeping It In The Family.

    Or young, gifted and fanatical about joining the Eurozone – how to be a blood sucking clegg.

    Nothing on young, hip, gifted and one of Salmongs young Gnats.

    It looks like a stitch up fronted by the BBC’s fearless camp crusader.

  34. 34
    Joe Cook says:

    See you all in Corby soon proles, I am parachuting in.

    fnarr fnarr

  35. 35
    jgm2 says:

    I thought she was ‘invited to leave’? It wasn’t her choice she left.

  36. 36
    Lou Scannon says:

    A deal has been struck between the Indians and the Jockanese whereby the Indians will build a bar on Mars.
    It will be called TCIF (Thank Cameron, It’s Fryday).

  37. 37
    Moussa Koussa says:

    Poor Guido, flip flopping again.

    I see Cockeroons Photographer is busy posting pics of Dave chillaxing, Dave with the kids, Dave having a coffee…Yawn.

    Anyway Guido, according to John Bercow, are you embittered and resentful. I think those two terms sum up you and Holey Moley

  38. 38
    Guido's mammy says:

    No one gives a fuck about this Joe Cock. Fuck off and get a fucking job, ye fat fucking cocksucking eejit.

  39. 39
    Ulrika Johnsson says:

    Fucking tramp.

  40. 40
    Penny Red Licker (Stamp collector what else!!) says:

    Hey what about talentless, gobby, rug munchers?

  41. 41
  42. 42
    Duty Pedant for Dummies says:


  43. 43
    smoggie says:

    Surely this was after Ed Balls’ time there?

  44. 44
    Bryn Phillips says:

    shut it you capitalist pig

  45. 45
    jgm2 says:

    Please tell me the silver-caped twat was going to a fancy dress party.

  46. 46
    Moussa Koussa says:

    LOL…..Nothing to see here Catty. Can fuck*ing Migrants like you please f*uck off.

  47. 47
    smoggie says:

    He’s got a pulse for one thing.

  48. 48
    Disgruntled Sheffielder says:

    Because he’d lied in the first place

  49. 49
    Another Orielensis (Retired) says:

    It wasn’t much different in my day. There was always some scandal or other in Cherwell, because it was all to easy to find one, but I’m not sure they were all like that.

    I recall Dan Hannan was president when I was there, and I don’t think I ever saw him with a silver suit.

    I thought it was now OCA, though, because the University has disowned them…

  50. 50
    Number 7 says:

    For the libdumbs.

  51. 51
    Another Orielensis (Retired) says:

    I’m not sure what to make of this article:

    Something definitely smells here.

  52. 52
    Moussa Koussa's pet Siberian hamster says:

    He might defect to UKIP

  53. 53
    jgm2 says:

    I find it incredible in this day and age with a camera in every phone that twats like Joe Cooke, who profess to have political ambition, will allow themselves to be photographed dressed like this.

    The bedwetters don’t need to say a word when putting up a candidate against the likes of Joe Cooke. They need only circulate that photograph. It screams hyper-privileged arsehole.

    What is even more depressing is that these characters obviously operate in an environment where such behaviour is seen as entirely normal. They really don’t help address the bedwetter allegations that the T*ry party is ‘out of touch’.

  54. 54
    jgm2 says:

    I don’t know what he’s so upset about. The T*ries have lifted more children out of poverty in the last 12 months than the bedwetters ever did.

  55. 55
    OUCA Sal the Social gal says:

    She screamed when the Black Cab Rapist (Terry the Stripper) blindfolded her and put a peeled banana in her hand.–male-stripper-Britains-notorious-rapist.html

  56. 56
    Moussa Koussa's pet Siberian hamster says:

    Erm…a holiday from what, exactly?

  57. 57
    Moussa Koussa's pet Siberian hamster says:

    These aren’t allegations…

  58. 58
    Fail says:

    “Mrs Bercow’s contemporaries at Keble College say she was asked to leave because of her poor academic performance. Her spokesman did not dispute that assessment.”

  59. 59
    johnnyterror says:

    He didn’t change his accent. He sounded like that at school. The photo is him at school. He dressed like that for parties. Just part of his convenient narrative to justify after the fact.

  60. 60
    johnnyterror says:

    he was a freak at school too

  61. 61
    johnnyterror says:

    No he dressed like this at school. Used to have these briefcases, louis vuitton, while the rest of us had a rucksack. Always dressed head to toe in designer. This might have been for a formal party.

  62. 62
    johnnyterror says:

    He’s a disaster for actual working class tories and a disgrace to our region. The Party should kick him out. He spreads both Nasty Party and Tory Toff in one. And he didn’t put it on at Oxford, he was doing this at College, which for that matter got 32 into Oxbridge, not the humble shithole he makes it out to be.

  63. 63
    johnnyterror says:

    almost certainly bullshit. Awww poor guy, bet he got bullied.

  64. 64
    Ned Ballsup says:

    If people dress stupidly then they deserve everything they get

    Sieg Heil!

  65. 65
    johnnyterror says:

    All the oxbridge crowd are Hunts. Cooke is just grade A Hunt.

  66. 66
    Moussa Koussa's pet Siberian hamster says:

    Forcing people to work till they drop, reducing pensions, making public sector workers redundant, slashing public services, increasing the cost of university education, reducing benefits for the disabled … giving houses worth £1.25 million houses to foreigners, increasing foreign aid to £14 billion a year. Yes it could only be a British government – loads of money for foreigners, no money for their own people. Can you imagine a French government doing that? No, neither can I. It’s the British Tory Party.

  67. 67
    jgm2 says:

    Clearly he wasn’t bullied enough.

  68. 68
    The mates of Dick Branksome says:

    He seems to be wearing some sort of condom – seems appropriate.

  69. 69
    jgm2 says:

    32 into Oxbridge? In one year? Did he go to Eton or something? What is this college that can get 32 kids from one year into Oxbridge?

  70. 70


  71. 71
    jgm2 says:

    Singing Nazi songs? Really? I didn’t see the show – what Nazi songs were they singing?

    These are 18 year old kids. How the fuck would they even know any Nazi songs? You’d have to really go out of your way to find and learn a Nazi song I’d have thought.

  72. 72
    Enemy of the State says:

    Looks like a cross between Batman’s Boy Robin and a hamster.

  73. 73
    Pogo says:

    Exactly what I was thinking…

  74. 74
    Business Cat (specializing in yarns, Cdn owned & op) says:


  75. 75
    Anonymous says:

    What’s great is that in the second photo you can just make out his “disadvantaged” families Rolls Royce!

  76. 76
    Widescreen2010 says:

    Half the Hunts are Huhnes.

  77. 77
    whitechapel says:

    They’re not even the same suit! One is double breasted the other single. Different bow ties for different nights. I don’t think he was bullied for being from upt north, but for coming over like a twat. Pity for OUCA’S sake they did’nt manage to get rid off him before their entire rep was destroyed. I’m going to Oxford from October. No chance I’m going near these nutters now.

  78. 78
    Douglas Turd says:

    People on here are saying that he was also a twat at school and that lots of other people went to Oxbridge from that school as well. What school did he go to and can anyone provide any more of a pen portrait of what he was like before Oxford? Or can I assume that he was exactly the same as we saw on the tv?

  79. 79
    SaltPetre says:

    On the contrary. You should wear outrageously camp clothes and flounce around drinking port all day – but in an ironic ‘knowing’ way.

  80. 80
    SaltPetre says:

    In Liverpool, the supply of hob-nailed boots and steel toe caps would long since be exhausted before the populous there grew tired of kicking the shit out of both subjects of the Wonderland documentary.

  81. 81
    Skanky student says:

    Jog on.

  82. 82
    Anonymous says:

    Im his sister and he certainly didnt sound like that at school. I think instead of writing comments on a piece which once again is sheer lies is pathetic!! If you went to school with Joe you will surely know where he lives! Come round and lets chat !!!
    Alexandra Cooke

  83. 83
    Alexandra Cooke says:

    Guido Fawkes,

    I think before you write a piece like this you should get your facts right. The BBC approached Joe after doing a piece with an online film crew for the elections (see beginning of the documentary for this footage). They have been filming Joe since the begginning of 2010.

    During this time Joe was subject to horendous bullying from the new OUCA members which lead to him standing up for his beliefs and including the information in the documentary.

    There was over 200 hours of footage so surely a man of your intelligence can understand how the BBC have edited this footage to make it appear the main focus was about the scandal.

    Alexandra Cooke

  84. 84
    the savant says:

    has it come to this

  85. 85
    Pundit Too says:

    A Tory using the BBC to his own ends? – I bet they loved him to bits and made him a BBC honoury luvvie.

  86. 86
    Joanne Craven Cooke says:

    What a sneaky thoroughly awful individual this person is. I’m ashamed and embarrassed may even drop the ‘Cooke’ for a while. My dad would turn in his grave.

  87. 87
    I know says:

    it wasn’t the only thing that was dropped – mainly her knickers at every opportunity (and the word is that they still do frquently with whoever is about)

  88. 88
    Wanna know says:

    He looks like Quentin Crisp. Is he one?

  89. 89
    Taking the biscuit says:

    he looks like a ginger nut.

  90. 90
    Living in 98 percent white Merseyside says:

    I think you’ll find they prefer to shoot people these days.

  91. 91
    Living in 98 percent white Merseyside says:

    His accent and attitude remind me of some of the types who live in Liverpool 18.

  92. 92
    Depressed license payer says:

    Alexandra: your programme has a major flaw. Joe´s scandal related to events before his term, apparently filmed at the time by a person or persons close to him. Yet, during his term of office, he did absolutely nothing with this material, but suddenly developed a profound concern about such unacceptable events when he was no longer in office. Why? Would it not seem obvious that if he really cared, he would not just try to force through his so called reforms but would act on obviously unacceptable conduct first, rather than using it for leverage? Does this not make him a low life hack with no moral fibre whatsoever (whatever he may have told you)? Also, what kind of character is proud of stealing data and taping people (illegally?)… How low can you go, Joe?

    Separately, you claim to have ample footage of bullying…why did you not show this in the film…? Did you not have just a little gap to show a possibly real issue, rather than emphasizing a crisis seemingly developed by Joe for his own benefit? Or was the so called bullying after the event, when his ex colleagues showed their contempt of Joe´s conduct, and his disloyalty to the group he had just presided?

    All this points to biased reporting based around an egotistical and disloyal individual with zero morality… Frankly, both aspects reflect really poorly on those involved. I echo 84´s view…has it come to this?? Shameful. Next time, please replicate the same but for the Labour equivalent. There are vile, unpleasant buffoons in all major parties, not just one.

  93. 93
    Barrister G says:

    He was never bullied. Nor is his father in prison he died years ago. The entire Joe Cooke show is based on utter lies everything he said can easily ne deconstructed.

  94. 94
    Oxford Lady says:

    Well said that man.

  95. 95
    stock and b says:

    No that was vice mag that caused enough damage at the time. Serial liars

  96. 96
    Sara P says:

    Let’s face it Cooke was an utter joke during his time, not because he came from Yorkshire but because of his wildly misjudged behaviour. After sampling the booze and food he ‘supplied’ during his tenure I would also ask where all the funds went.

  97. 97
    no comment says:

    You think wisely

  98. 98
    Alexandra Cooke says:

    Believe what you like

  99. 99
    Alexandra Cooke says:

    doubtful!! he would turn in his grave over the money he gave a gold digger like you!!!

  100. 100
    Alexandra Cooke says:

    Brian Cooke died 6 years ago in February. He was in prison for nearly 6 years in the 90’s . Get your facts right!!!

  101. 101
    Anonymous says:

    This show sounds like it was great fun.

    When’s the repeat?

  102. 102
    Anonymous says:

    The footage of the election was originally filmed for vice magazine not for Joe Cooke and his programme. The first time his cameras showed up was, as Guido says, immediately after him became president at the boat race.

  103. 103
    Emma says:

    The point is that it made it look like The father of Joe Cooke was in prison now, I don’t understand why they didn’t say he passed away, surely that would have made Joe Cooke a more sympathetic figure

  104. 104
    Confused says:

    Absolutely right – if Joe Cooke was so shunned and bullied by Oxford Conservatives how come they made him their President – just doesn’t make sense

  105. 105
    ed heath says:

    You weren’t there man! You weren’t at oxford so you have to go by your brothers lies. Put him in an asylum don’t get him attention.

  106. 106
    Emma says:

    Is she Joe Cooke’s sister then? Wondered why she cared so much…

    Seriously if Joe Cooke was my brother I’d be hanging my head in shame and wondering why he was so ashamed of his family he felt the need to lie about them. I’d be seriously pissed with my brother if he aired all my family stuff on tv just to try and get sympathy while screwing over people who he was supposed to be friends with. How dare he say that OUCA judged him because of his family if he didn’t tell them about his family – you can’t judge someone on something your don’t know about him. Looks to me like they judged him based on his stabbing them in the back and being such a freak not on his background…

  107. 107
    Joe Cooke says:


  108. 108
    Anonymous says:

    That is what the thing needs, institutionalising.

  109. 109
    Halifax Tory says:

    OUCA elected Joe Cooke…unopposed. So that shows how they hated him for his Northern background. What total drivel. He was VOTED IN UNOPPOSED.

    So how come the poor boy is whining and persecuted ? Could it be a few people did not appreciate his trickery and told him as much? If so, wholly deserved.

    Yorkshire people take pride in our honesty and consistency not our ability to lie and cheat. Joe should NEVER be chosen to represent us.

  110. 110
    Anonymous says:

    Here Here !

  111. 111
    TomJep says:

    Where can I see this programme? Sounds a laugh.

  112. 112
    Halifax Tory says:

    It´s also a bit strange that he needed free school meals but the Independent report him hosting Cava and Quail egg parties on the Oriel lawns, and Westwood suits go for 2 grand a throw…

    There are plenty of people who would love to have that sort of money just to cover the mortgage and the monthly bills…times must have improved for Joe. They do not sell many Quail Eggs in Kingsgate to my knowledge….

  113. 113
    Anonymous says:

    If you listen to his sister he was completely different before Oxford, if you listen to me (didn’t know him well at school but was in his year) and others on here who say the same he was exactly the pretentious creep he appears in the programme.

  114. 114
    Anonymous says:

    Absolutely right!

  115. 115
    Anonymous says:

    Free school meals are measured on income aren’t they, so you can have loads of money and still get them if your parents don’t work? Could be wrong but I thought that was how it worked…

  116. 116
    Alexandra Cooke says:

    The reason Joe couldn’t talk till the age of 5 was because daddy used to always say from his cell, “talking gets you into trouble in prison”. If only Joe had applied this wise lesson to broader life he wouldn’t have made such a Hunt of himself.

  117. 117
    Sherlock Holmes says:

    Where did the Cooke family get all their money from?!? They had a bloody servant cleaning round cleaning that slag of his sister on the sofa. Rolls in the drive. Or is just because the police don’t reclaim property from criminal scum any more?

  118. 118
    Anonymous says:

    For those interested, Cooke went to Greenhead College in Huddersfield.

    Greenhead College is ranked higher than Eton in the A-level league tables:

    In 2009, 28 pupils at Greenhead College were offered places at Oxbridge:

    Hardly the deprived background Cooke would have us believe.

  119. 119
    Scarlet says:

    Haha so true the dad was traffiking drugs back in the 90’s.

  120. 120
    Anonymous says:

    You shouldn’t take the piss out of Joe Cooke because of his family, that’s exactly what he’s accusing people of doing so in a way you’re proving him right. Besides there’s SO much about Joe Cooke, the man himself, to take the piss out of we don’t need to (although his sister is perhaps an exception as, by going crazy on here, she’s rather opened herself up to public comment)

  121. 121
    Cooke's neighbour says:

    I live near these pikeys and they spoil a good area. Every time they have a party (which seems to be every week) the sister sings. I say sings but I have to tape the windows so they dont smash . The mother who looks like an aged finger puppet seems to tbhink she owns Kew Gardens. I’ve seen little of the son he never appears at these lousy parties. Just wish these scrubbers would move away.

  122. 122
    Archie says:

    Eee, ‘ecky thump!

  123. 123
    Archie says:

    Er, that’s “populace”!

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