The Prime Minister looked like he had plenty on his mind as he recovered from Boris Mania on holiday in Majorca today. Dave and SamCam were dressed in matching moody blue attire, though the PM guarded against the Spanish sun with a long-sleeved shirt while tanned Samantha flashed some leg in a fetching knee-length dress. Guido is wondering what they did with the kids…
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Andrew Pierce on Ed Balls…
“Porky Shadow Chancellor Ed Balls sweet-talked guests at a fund-raising dinner by saying if he wasn’t a politician, he would be a chef. That’s not surprising, since he was accused of cooking the Treasury books when he was Gordon Brown’s boot boy.”
is there anyone in the world that Tony hasnt screwed in some way?
“Twatwatch tag”
Black leather shoes on holiday. Definite twatwatch.
Sam’s flipflops are M&S – they have diamante buckles!
This blog is becoming like The Daily Mail x 0.000001
+1 It’ll be Prezza in a bikini next.
Daily mail reporter
David Cameron, {46} and wife Samantha {41} relax in the upmarket Club Med, £2,000 a week, of Costa Lotta D’oh on the sun kissed beaches of Spain’s little England district.
Samantha, {34-27-35}, mother of three, dressed in blue to celebrate the last week of the M&S summer sale. Sam, {34c}, is not adverse to designer frocks from Channel or Dior, but knows that the busy wife of a serving prime minister {David Cameron} must also watch the pennies.
She chose to splash out on just espresso {4 euro each} for them both.
Cameron dressed in indigo jeans {Calvin Klein} and a long sleeved shirt {Charles Tyrwhitt, 4 for £99} looked pensive as he began his summer vacation away from his home in Downing street, London {£82,000,000}.
Mrs Cameron drives a yellow car.
Oh dear. Guido is still trying to flog those Bojo T-shirts like a dead horse. Silly season is still not over.
Never mind the kids, where the flick is Clegg? He definitely needs to be kept within culling distance.
I am still in a massive sulk.
.
.
why don’t you cheer up and get the Olympic volunteers to go out into their communities and become an army of volunteers who will recruit more volunteers.
.
ah yes… the voluntary society!
.
all the best.
{34c}
Is she?
Looks like she is sitting on her gold mine. Anybody know how big the beef curtains are?
Enormous. They hang down to her knees – Dave is infatuated by them.
What about the chocolate spider. Any news on that, dear?
If we harvest them the whole of Africa will have enough protein for a thousand years.
Two posts about nationalist socialists in a row?
.
.
Tuscany Dave in Majorca…not very Notts.on.the.hill!
…austerity drive?
Guido is wondering what they did with the kids… have they lost them again!
” Now lets check again did we do everything something is missing ….note for the milkman, cancelled the papers, left a schoolboy in charge of the country, paid the £40 million into the Indian government account. ……..
THE BLOODY KIDS WE FORGOT TO BRING THEM “
How interesting.
{Knock, knock, knock}
“Penny!”
{Knock, knock, knock}
“Penny!”
{Knock, knock, knock}
“Penny!”
‘Oi, you, fuck off quite a lot’
What a load of pointless shite. Who gives a stuff about him, or Becks?
If you clicked on it, you made Guido some money. Gotcha!
Where do we click to un-cünt him, dear?
Hired, Elsie. Do you have your own legs?
I hope you’re being paid to come here, Elsie.
Unlike some others, no. I have a confession to make: I run one or two alts on here, dear. We come here because we are generous of spirit. My Reg, although he’s a little crumbly now, approves whole-heartedly with what we do, God bless him. Unlike some others, we are free to withdraw at any point; that is to say, we are volunteers.
One day we will have to move on but others will fill the void, dear. That moment has not arrived quite yet.
I hope that answers your query.
lool – sorry I asked! I was expecting you to reference your beany or dribbling front/back bottom or something. Fucking hell!
I miss Mrs Slater’s Parrot.
..
..
if you clicked then it would be voluntary….ah yes…the voluntary society!
A society of volunteers.
.
long shot?
.
it could work though if you have love in your heart and harmony in your head.
a lot of charitable ppl out there.
*love in your heart and the head and heart are in harmony.
Left them in a restaurant?
Wrapped up in the loft ?
This is no joking matter.
If it was up to me I’d leave them in a Wimpy bar.
Does they still do them massive benders in a bap giudo ?
Perhaps Good4Shit can sort out his problems as they didn’t have much to during the olympics :
http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2012/aug/14/g4s-advertises-staff-police-crimes
N.I.C.E.
Have they used the McCann’s babysitting technique?
With hindsight, it’s easy to snipe but that horrific episode was a wake-up call to all those traveling abroad with children.
If in doubt, take the kids with you or use the nanny service if you can afford it, just like parents used to do.
Surely, those baby alarms/intercoms would respond over that distance?
Maybe they didn’t have coms. Maybe the batteries were fucked. Maybe …….
….. and, btw, it’s Shirley you dunce.
What every responsible parent does: Leave them at the pub!
Bodega or taberna, surely?
Seems a bit creepy for Guido to wonder what they did with the kids (McCann nastiness aside, from earlier comments).
They probably did what tens of thousands of middle class parents do in the summer holidays. Pack the kids off to Granny and Grandpa for a few days, then get themselves somewhere sunny to have proper adult conversation, and shag like bunnies at night.
The thought of either one of them breeding appalls me.
It’s already happened – stay in appalled mode.
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“..I know its not usual Sam..but you know how things are..and we do need some favourable coverage in the press…Remember Sarah Brown introduced old smelly at Labour’s conference and all those old socialists got all misty eyed over the medicated monster’s foibles. So..would you you do this for me…At conference…before I go on for the leader’s speech….
Pretty please? It would really help me out of a hole…you go out first and If you could just get your tits out for the mags..?”
Bit crude for you Bill, bad day in the Stranger’s Bar?
Leave them alone. Everyone is entitled to a holiday and also dress as they want to. That is being critical for the sake of it. Not worthy of you Guido.
that’s all he’s worth
…..I’M AS MAD AS HELL!!!!!!!!!!! *drool*
Calm down dear! Where has your left eyebrow gone?
I sold it to Alex Jones to buy more silver!!!!
Are you sure Jamie Dimon or Bob Diamond didn’t put it in a ponzi scheme? You’ll have to protect your right eyebrow from the zombie banksters!
Oh Stacy!!! I’d give all the silver in the world for a fumble under the desk with you……
Um Max, we’re engaged already
http://maxkeiser.com/2012/06/03/stacy-yes/
…..but i bought you that rock and you still don’t put out!!!!
…AND YOU WONDER WHY I’M MAD!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.dvd-exchange.co.uk
Great place to sell your unwanted CDs and DVDs or iundeed buy an old classic
An unused DVD or CD is like David Cameron
USELESS AND OF NO VALUe
However at least his beard looks better in a skirt than the bigotted old woman that I married
I have sold my Artiated monkeys monkeys album to the above people and have raised enough cash to save the world
Saucy!
Moody and Blue?.
Nice post, netty.
Simply fab…
Those fucking horrible tiny cups of coffee you get everywhere on the continent. Sneeze and the whole lot disappears.
Drink the bugger first then!
You should know, dear ;- )
I know what you mean. They get splattered everwhere.
They conform to EUSSR coffee cup standard, EU Directive C17.5/Z46757/18L/185*
The ‘L’ being the left handed version.
You know people say I’m the Heir to Blair, in that case I’ll resign just before the economy goes tits up.
So next Monday, is it?
FFS!! How could you work with a group of F@ckwits Cleg, Good old Vince & the rest of the total fuckwits called the Libdums? C’mon they are worse than the Leibour lot. If that is posible!
Mad dogs and Englishmen.
The modern Englishman goes to Spain in the height of summer and wears a full sleeved buttoned down shirt.
The temperature must be about thirty degrees.
Standards dear boy!! Standards!!
That is no reason not to wear a tie.
We Scotchmen wear our suits on holiday
The button on your tunic lad,do it up
Lookouts just come down from the hills reporting euro debts to the southeast.
Billions of them.
I came here to build a bridge
But what do you wear under yer kilt laddy
nothing is worn under my kilt – it’s all in perfect working order
*b-boom* *tish*
Give over, they’re all pissed up on the beach in T-shirts and shorts bought from fucking Primark the last time I looked.
The Modern Englishman constantly wears long sleeved shirts and then rolls up the sleeves because he suddenly works out he is in a hot climate.
This, apparently, is called ‘style’. To be seen is a comfortable, cool, short-sleeved shirt is simply not ‘stylish’, and most certainly not ‘English’.
All these backwoodsmen need with their long rolled-up sleeves is a knotted hankerchief on their heads and they complete the picture of the English twat abroad.
Majorca – how downmarket! It’s not a patch on Tuscany.
The spaniards are far superior in friendliness to the tuscans and spanish food is much better than italian.
your are spot on there F@ck French food it is over priced, over rated… Spanish/Mexican/Caribian.. Love it!
Caribian?
FFS, Shirley Williams has a lot to answer for.
Calm down dear, Gover will put it right
I suppose it’s just like being back where you were born. You must have got used to it when you were just a picaninny.
Oh Dear they haven’t left those kids in a spanish bar somewhere I hope.
We is with a nice man who’s feeding us ice cream and tapath
Don’t give up on him Nell. Cameron is ok. We have had worse PMs.
Just popped out for half an hour (McCann).
We’ve all done it. Your worst nightmare come true.
I say you jolly chaps! Dashed good show by whomever put the rail fares up!!! See if we can move them up a notch or two !! More loot for my jolly HS2 chums and the HS2 scam!!!! Super!!!! What? Watt’s the total WindFarm whattage toady??
The more they put up the prices of rail fairs, the more toffs will use the trains (you know Cammers and Gideon’s chums) there will be very few plebs and oiks on the trains
Rail unfairs more like…..
She says, and I quote, “I deserve to live in a nice house and get benefits”.
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4486130/Refugees-get-a-125million-houseand-trash-it.html
These bar stewards should be rounded up a shot in front of a mirror!
How dare you thay that about core Labour thupporterth!
I inthitht you apologithe, thith inthtant!
This is obviously a story made up by the Daily Mail and published in The Sun.
Eh? Hammersmith council are going to court on Thursday to get the savages evicted. Fuckers should be deported back to towelhead land.
Should be housed in the cheapest location.
Value for taxpayers now.
They should get a tent.
as long as it’s not in the UK I don’t give a fuck
“Sir Stuart Rose, former head of Marks & Spencer, said he thought it was highly likely that Sunday hours would move into line with those allowed on other days of the week: “Personally I do think it will become a permanent fixture over time.
“My only fear is it will put a little bit of pressure on workers, it is important to remember the hard work that is done by staff in shops,” he told the BBC.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-19245204
Meanwhile, the BBC interviewer was stunned when the Head of the Trafford Centre near Manchester went off-message to say that the Olympics had been brilliant for business and the relaxation of Sunday trading rules was bringing in an extra £6m per week.
So stuff that in yer pipe and smoke it Chucky.
Well it was the LONDON OLYNPIC GAMES ©® , what London lost in trade, places like Manchester cashed in
No Chuka, business voices will not be ranged up against relaxing Sunday trading laws, nor will the punters, two out of two wrong again.
Even the unbiased BBC seemed to be biased towards Sunday Trading in that article. Did Chuka actually read it before Tweeting?
What is different about Sunday?
It’s a day put aside for reflection upon spiritual matters instead of DIY and wanking you fucking tosser.
That’s friday night when I summon the guidance of the spirit djin (and tonik).
+++++BREAKING WIND+++++
Don’t rely on your smatrphone when tryin to navigate thru the Cairngorms gidou !
P.S. you might get lost
I’m the real ßilly all you other ßillys are just imitating.
i’m ßilly !!
No im ßilly arent i giudo !!
Their is onyl one ßilly and that is me!
I’ll see ur ßilly an raise ya ten .
Ha ha. No wonder you got fucked off with it all.
What a fucking cünt !!
Thx for showin me character map , petal x .
Fuckin HOON .
BB x x
Monkier theif
Four aces pays , sweetheart !
I luvs yer so will give yer five minutes to pay .
Cash or kind , petal ?
Luvs yer
BB x x .
Could we make a mantrain?
I wonder how much this is costing the UK tax payer considering he will have a security detail with him and by the look of things baby sitting his kids. He could have gone to Brighton it would be more up his alley.
I could swear that’s Nick Clegg in a wig and a dress.
Where?
The one sitting with Dave.
Hahahaha fuck you Dave and your bullshit multicultural big society, we’re emigrating to New Zealand!
x x x x
See yeah!
Now they don’t have to emigrate to that double island full of mingebags at the end of the Earth.
Don’t forget to take all that scratched vinyl with you, dear. They’ll probably be quite amused by the sound of recorded music.
Else — surely you’ve got to 83 and 3/8 by now.
Yeah *yawns* Does u want me to change it , honey ??
shadddddaaaaap you old slag!
*waves to STEVE*
*waves back at ya*
piss off waveydavey, piss of steve
Euro millions (win and escape the multi-cult hell hole prison the Eurocrat’s built!!
Come over to my side and have a deep long look in to my Kebab
Have you got hummus, dear, or is that just a nasty infection?
You are ßilly Bumshire and I claim free tube of Canesten extra strength.
That B is a German S…
ah….
That’s weird. This moniker weren’t in my deep cupboard of previously-used names .
http://bit.ly/zADPYD
Methinks the wives of the last three Prime Ministers have had too much of a say in policy making.
what’s a wife?
A fish pie, so I’m told by a land-lubbing friend via seamail.
EVA !!!!
*so excited I fired at the wrong hole*
Left them in the pub again?
I’m discussing with my most influential advisor how to be more adept at U turns!!
Little wonder the country is fucked what with Slotgob, Thunderthighs and SamCam practically running it for the past 15 years.
HMRC can’t seem to catch the fastest man in the world.
http://tinyurl.com/d8ftk8c
If the same non-stories get recycled 24/7 for long enough, will anyone that matters give a flying fuck?
Ghostery too.
Is that G4S bodyguard behind Dave on her tea break?
New York Department of Financial Services
Here to destroy British Banks.
Yankee Bankee Don’t Do Hanky Panky.
+1 (million)
Has anyone asked Jon Corzine (friend of Obama) why he’s not in a Max Security jail for stealing from customers?
The reason for the thoughtful expressions is simple; Dave has just had a call from the Brazilian PM enquiring why there are a load of girls names jotted on the back of the Olympic flag with phone numbers written alongside.
Suckers!
Comment of the…
SP4BS
Submitted on August 1, 2004 at 1:28 pm:
Boris? Zip? Isn’t there an injunction to stop those two words appearing together?
Guido = Finger on the pulse !
More like hand on the pint pot !
Just a thought !
Standard charter fined $340,000,000 by the Americans
Barclays fined $380,000,000 By the Americans
RBS will eventually be fined by the Americans
as will several other banks
The American banks sell off all their sub prime mortgages and toxic debt causing the global recession for everybody
Who the fuck gave the yanks the right to proclaim themselves whiter than white in all this and appoint themselves as World Banking Police , fining countries at will to aid their countries recovery ?
They fucking caused it all FFS !
Caveat Emptor, suckers!
Is ‘cave’ a code name for Fort Knox ?
You can tell us – we all know it was emptied years ago.
Reserve currency dear boy, before 1944 it was the Pound Sterling.
I blame Hitler, Churchill and the Americans as well as the Libour party.
Looks like one of those ” Whatever happens the kids mustn’t suffer” conversations.
I’m writing an account of my heroic struggle to become the most unsuccessful Bulimic in history. I’m calling it ‘Reach For The Pies’.
Ah’m a’writin’ ma booky call’d “Sweat in tha’ thighs”
It’s chickylitter
A 50″ wouldn’t fit!
Thief arrested for shoplifting after hiding 42in TV under her skirt
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2187983/Thief-arrested-shoplifting-hiding-42in-TV-skirt.html#ixzz23YPGWlQZ
Fat bitch, she should’ve borrowed one of Diane’s skirts.
Why do these lips remind me of an arsehole?
http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02264/umunna_2264343a.jpg
WACIST!
Your ignorance is fetching
If I cries for no reason , is I normal ??
I’ll come round and give you a good slapping E, if it makes you feel better.
I jus suddenly got the blues real bad .
Try listening to something other than “The Carpenters”. Works for me.
I was thinking more like a black eye.
Arrrr yes well, you this is usually and underlying or deep rooted problem within you subconscious. The “no reason” suggests your not accepting in to your conscious mind and hence the tears.
Only you know the what this maybe.
No charge.
The last two words have exposed you as a fake.
Sorry my English is not so good yes.
no
No, Dumkoph!.
No it is not so good? or No it is not so good yes?
Arrrr you English confuse me.
No, I don’t want to have sex with your mother.
Not very good at this interwebs thingy, r u?
Page up a few.
Life is too short to page up a few, obsessive bitch.
Show me. ‘Page up a few’ is sooo unspecific, FFS.
Oh dear!
Supposed it was bound to happen. You used to be fun. Now that I have let you have me, you are not excited in the chase any more!
*bursts into tears*
Let them flow. You’ll feel better in a few years time.
Yes I would suppose you are.
Just avoid the NHS doctor who will have to tell you that you are not normal in order, so that he gets paid. And whatever you do, DO NOT agree to NHS tests, as every one of those tests will say you are far way from “normal” and you need to take unnecessary medication to returm you to normal.
Thx , hun .
I jus put some CCR on an feels cured already .
When i laughs , I laughs big time ; when I cries , it the same .
Reminds me I’s a human bean , I spose x .
anon x
It’s a lack of stoicism caused by expose to BBC radiation. I proscribe a long avoidance of the IQ lowering light box.
Nice number if you can do it, hope he has the number of the removal men, him and the uconned us seem to want to be a one off setup.
Wavy Davy in blue,I apparently thought that was the Cons colour,but I must be wrong because he is not conservative by any means.
The man is a snake oil salesman and he thinks he will go on conning the British public,him and his mate Gideon are everything that this country could do without.
He has no backbone to act in the interests of this Country,instead he is a shallow photoshoot tosser who is completely in thrall to his EUSSR masters.
The Cons now are at a crossroads in that if they want to restore their credibility as the party of England,then they need to make some serious efforts to bring the party back to what it used to be.
Liebour,the party of tossers who have put this country on it’s knees may well be elected next time round to carry on with their destructive downgrade of this country into a multicultural shithole.
If this happens it will be down to a bunch of Tory Toffs who can’t see the forest from the trees.
Wakey Wakey Davey as you will never be forgiven,forget Cleggie and be your own man for christs sake grow some balls.
He our man ist! He how you say ist, zer chicken in der nest! He, der bidding ov zer Glorious National Socialist €USSR does.
Heial Merkel!! Heial der Glorious €USSR!
Zer enemies of zer Glorious Reich . . . I mean zer .. . . . will win never!!!
“Heil”.
You know, you really haven’t a hope
Without a forensic microscope
Of telling a Tory from a Labourite
Disregard the brand name. They sell the same shite
These train fair rises are WRONG!
Don’t forget to hide the antimacassars.
Why Ed? Why should UK taxpayers subsidise South East commuters who already earn the best wages in the country?
Because many of the “South East commuters who already earn the best wages in the country” earn SFA.
Train subsidies in reality end up in increased house prices for people living near stations.
Both the graunoiad and daily wail agree that Unaffordable house inflation = “economic growf”, so who are we to disagree?
Both the grauniad and daily femail could employ fifteen pointless hacks to churn out 15,000 words each for a centre-spread, pull-out “Special” on “What you should expect to find under your fingernails when you next clip them”, though. Who gives a fuck what they think about unaffordable house inflation or, for that matter, anything else?
You missed what came next folks:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/newsbysector/mediatechnologyandtelecoms/9476317/Mark-Thompson-lands-top-job-at-New-York-Times.html
I don’t think that Senator McCarthy will be very happy
Not just Dave turning blue.
By all accounts Virgin’s Pendelinos will be turning blue when it is announced tomorrow (at 7am) that Beardy has lost his franchise to cash strapped First Group. First have over-bid for the rights to run on the West Coast and will no doubt hand the keys back when they realise that they can’t cough up the premium that they have promised the Government.
Watch out for even bigger fare increases and a reduction in services
A crap decision by the DfT, no doubt under pressure to take the biggest bid from Gideon, who clearly hasn’t learned what happened elsewhere and that less is more.
These money laundering banks and libor manipulators. Any charges made by any police force yet?
Sam Darling, yes yes, yes I know we have a cuckold relationship. But, the Nation must not be aware that “cleggy boy ” does late night cleanup duties.
One does not approve of dropping one’s servants in the mire. Not Cricket!
Has Cameron claimed asylum yet?
I have and I like it here. I won’t hurt you, I know it’s misty and dark. I know you are from the lower orders, but bugger me, I will bugger you, is £1.00 sufficient ?
One thing you have to sat for Guido, it takes a hell of a lot for him to to delete a contribution, And even more to ban you.
Unlike those Mother Fuckers at the Daily Telegraph.
Hands up all those that have been banned by the DT,
+1
No one expects the Spanish Inquesition .. cough sovereign bailout ……
Dont know what to make of euro Gdp figs , other than they seem generous to me .I guess it makes next set the bill for all the dither ……
“Guido is wondering what they did with the kids”… so are they!
Is this a political blog or Hello magazine?
If it’s true delighted that bearded extortionist been fucked off
Looks like Beardie has been caught short :
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/newsbysector/transport/9476445/Virgin-Trains-loses-contract-for-West-Coast-rail-line-to-FirstGroup.html
That’s £6billion extra the taxpayer would have had to pay if it was privatised.
Sorry… nationalised. I am half asleep.
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/jeremy-hunt-told-dont-pretend-olympics-helped-tourism-8046829.html
What nonsense, of course the Olympics helped tourism, just like the Hunt said -
in other countries at the expense of ours.
Not as good as the hols we’re having on Saturday night at our Gay Sex fundraiser
The first thing the £148m lottery winners did was to order a takeaway pizza. You see, this is why the lower orders shouldn’t be allowed to enter the lottery. No imagination. I’d have booked a weekend getaway for me and all my friends flying first class and staying in 5 star hotel suites with champagne on tap.
And having seen what the husband looks like, he should use some of the money on a gastric band.
Fuckin pizza what a moron !
Everybody knows you should start the day with a good hearty fry up
http://howigotrich.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/10-pound-breakfast-challenge1.jpg
yebbut. the pizza arrives in 30 minutes, you have to wait a few days for your 5 star weekend.
I don’t get everyone’s obsession with champagne. Oh, and its supposed to come in bottles, not on draught.
An even more puzzling is the toff’sobsession with scoffing of slimy raw fish eggs on ritz crackers
toodle pip
“The worta in Majorca don’t taste like it oughta dear” !
Why would anybody listen to advice from a soft handed grandson of High Court Judge Sir Helenus Milmo posh boy Chuka?
I the Telegrapg Chuka pontificates “British business can be a force for good”
It already is a force for good you idiot
Croney government contracts and state bailouts are nothing to do with business they are state interference
Firstgroup have outbid Virgin group by more than a billion pounds , to run the west coast main line
as we all know rail fares are a joke , dispite billions of our quids being pumped in and then syphoned off as salaries and bonuses we still have some of the highest fares in the world
but hey when it all goes tits up at least there’s a headline in it for me when i have to bail it out yet again !
Toodle Pip !
I wonder which one of our squeaky clean MP’s has special interests , place on the board , jobs for their children etc in first group ?
Probably did what we did at Mahon Airport once and lost the children (well, half of them) between the Departure Lounge and the aircraft.
Hello Yall !
Well im just thinking of all those “Captured American Soldiers(HANOI HUSSIES) Still in Vietnam , surely they Must be enjoying themselves ,otherwise theyd be home on the Drought Plagued Ranch !! Well Pehaps theyve had enough of Losing wars and Being captured ,it seems to me Its a National pastime in Good ol USA. Chelsea Clinton gets my vote every time,only im British ,oh well!!