August 14th, 2012

Dave Looking Blue

The Prime Minister looked like he had plenty on his mind as he recovered from Boris Mania on holiday in Majorca today. Dave and SamCam were dressed in matching moody blue attire, though the PM guarded against the Spanish sun with a long-sleeved shirt while tanned Samantha flashed some leg in a fetching knee-length dress. Guido is wondering what they did with the kids…


238 Comments

  1. 1
    Kebab Time says:

    “Twatwatch tag” ;)

  2. 2
    FFS says:

    What a load of pointless shite. Who gives a stuff about him, or Becks?

  3. 3
    Orielensis says:

    Black leather shoes on holiday. Definite twatwatch.

  4. 4
    tommy5d says:

    Left them in a restaurant?

  5. 5
    Lou Scannon says:

    Perhaps Good4Shit can sort out his problems as they didn’t have much to during the olympics :

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2012/aug/14/g4s-advertises-staff-police-crimes

    N.I.C.E.

  6. 6
    Anonymous says:

    Have they used the McCann’s babysitting technique?

  7. 7
    Hamish Macbeth says:

    Wrapped up in the loft ?

  8. 8
    Antipo-dean says:

    What every responsible parent does: Leave them at the pub!

  9. 9
    Tuscan Villain says:

    If you clicked on it, you made Guido some money. Gotcha!

  10. 10
    Jethro says:

    If it was up to me I’d leave them in a Wimpy bar.

  11. 11
    Stuart Hazell says:

    This is no joking matter.

  12. 12
    Bled White Taxpayer says:

    Seems a bit creepy for Guido to wonder what they did with the kids (McCann nastiness aside, from earlier comments).

    They probably did what tens of thousands of middle class parents do in the summer holidays. Pack the kids off to Granny and Grandpa for a few days, then get themselves somewhere sunny to have proper adult conversation, and shag like bunnies at night.

  13. 13

    “..I know its not usual Sam..but you know how things are..and we do need some favourable coverage in the press…Remember Sarah Brown introduced old smelly at Labour’s conference and all those old socialists got all misty eyed over the medicated monster’s foibles. So..would you you do this for me…At conference…before I go on for the leader’s speech….
    Pretty please? It would really help me out of a hole…you go out first and If you could just get your tits out for the mags..?”

  14. 14
    Anonymous says:

    Leave them alone. Everyone is entitled to a holiday and also dress as they want to. That is being critical for the sake of it. Not worthy of you Guido.

  15. 15
    ivor biggun says:

  16. 16
    Max Keiser says..... says:

    …..I’M AS MAD AS HELL!!!!!!!!!!! *drool*

  17. 17
    Hanoj Nworb (Not Vietnamese) says:

    http://www.dvd-exchange.co.uk

    Great place to sell your unwanted CDs and DVDs or iundeed buy an old classic
    An unused DVD or CD is like David Cameron
    USELESS AND OF NO VALUe
    However at least his beard looks better in a skirt than the bigotted old woman that I married
    I have sold my Artiated monkeys monkeys album to the above people and have raised enough cash to save the world

  18. 18
    annette curton says:

    Moody and Blue?.

  19. 19

    Those fucking horrible tiny cups of coffee you get everywhere on the continent. Sneeze and the whole lot disappears.

  20. 20
    genghiz the kahn says:

    You know people say I’m the Heir to Blair, in that case I’ll resign just before the economy goes tits up.

  21. 21
    GIVE THE BLOKE A BREAK says:

    FFS!! How could you work with a group of F@ckwits Cleg, Good old Vince & the rest of the total fuckwits called the Libdums? C’mon they are worse than the Leibour lot. If that is posible!

  22. 22
    Hannibal from Carthage says:

    Mad dogs and Englishmen.

    The modern Englishman goes to Spain in the height of summer and wears a full sleeved buttoned down shirt.

    The temperature must be about thirty degrees.

  23. 23
    Polly Twatbee says:

    Majorca – how downmarket! It’s not a patch on Tuscany.

  24. 24
    nellnewman says:

    Oh Dear they haven’t left those kids in a spanish bar somewhere I hope.

  25. 25
    Polly Twatbee says:

    Sam’s flipflops are M&S – they have diamante buckles!

  26. 26
    Tin Can Cam, rattling along the gutter, (via-email) says:

    I say you jolly chaps! Dashed good show by whomever put the rail fares up!!! See if we can move them up a notch or two !! More loot for my jolly HS2 chums and the HS2 scam!!!! Super!!!! What? Watt’s the total WindFarm whattage toady??

  27. 27
    nellnewman says:

    The spaniards are far superior in friendliness to the tuscans and spanish food is much better than italian.

  28. 28
    Stacy Herbert says:

    Calm down dear! Where has your left eyebrow gone?

  29. 29
    The Kids says:

    We is with a nice man who’s feeding us ice cream and tapath

  30. 30
    Jesus Wept says:

    This blog is becoming like The Daily Mail x 0.000001

  31. 31
    An Eton Toff says:

    Standards dear boy!! Standards!!

  32. 32
    FFS says:

    Drink the bugger first then!

  33. 33
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    Where do we click to un-cünt him, dear?

  34. 34
    Max Keiser says..... says:

    I sold it to Alex Jones to buy more silver!!!!

  35. 35
    Labour legacy says:

    She says, and I quote, “I deserve to live in a nice house and get benefits”.

    http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4486130/Refugees-get-a-125million-houseand-trash-it.html

  36. 36
    An ardent of Mr Borwn and all his acheivements - like speling and writin in crayno says:

    Saucy!

  37. 37
    Gaz Chambers says:

    +1 It’ll be Prezza in a bikini next.

  38. 38
    Too Far says:

    your are spot on there F@ck French food it is over priced, over rated… Spanish/Mexican/Caribian.. Love it!

  39. 39
    Kitler says:

    The thought of either one of them breeding appalls me.

  40. 40
    Gaz Chambers says:

    You should know, dear ;- )

  41. 41
    Stacy Herbert says:

    Are you sure Jamie Dimon or Bob Diamond didn’t put it in a ponzi scheme? You’ll have to protect your right eyebrow from the zombie banksters!

  42. 42
    Jeremy Clarkson says:

    These bar stewards should be rounded up a shot in front of a mirror!

  43. 43
    Kopi Luwak says:

    I know what you mean. They get splattered everwhere.

  44. 44
    Sir Alan Bignose says:

    Hired, Elsie. Do you have your own legs?

  45. 45
    Scott Cameron says:

    Don’t give up on him Nell. Cameron is ok. We have had worse PMs.

  46. 46
    Max Keiser says..... says:

    Oh Stacy!!! I’d give all the silver in the world for a fumble under the desk with you……

  47. 47
    Chuka is lying says:

  48. 48
    AC1 says:

    Two posts about nationalist socialists in a row?

  49. 49
    Stacy Herbert says:

    Um Max, we’re engaged already

    http://maxkeiser.com/2012/06/03/stacy-yes/

  50. 50
    ßilly Boredom is the grossest bumpile ever ! says:

    Does they still do them massive benders in a bap giudo ?

  51. 51

    It’s already happened – stay in appalled mode.

  52. 52

    Bit crude for you Bill, bad day in the Stranger’s Bar?

  53. 53
    Chuka is lying. From his own link says:

    “Sir Stuart Rose, former head of Marks & Spencer, said he thought it was highly likely that Sunday hours would move into line with those allowed on other days of the week: “Personally I do think it will become a permanent fixture over time.

    “My only fear is it will put a little bit of pressure on workers, it is important to remember the hard work that is done by staff in shops,” he told the BBC.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-19245204

  54. 54
    Lord Jensen Interceptor says:

    Looks like she is sitting on her gold mine. Anybody know how big the beef curtains are?

  55. 55
    annette curton says:

    Just popped out for half an hour (McCann).

  56. 56

    That is no reason not to wear a tie.

  57. 57
    ßilly Boredom is the grossest bumpile ever ! says:

    +++++BREAKING WIND+++++

    Don’t rely on your smatrphone when tryin to navigate thru the Cairngorms gidou !

  58. 58
    ßilly Boredom is the grossest bumpile ever ! says:

    P.S. you might get lost

  59. 59
    retardEd Miliband, leader of the Parasite Party, says:

    How dare you thay that about core Labour thupporterth!

    I inthitht you apologithe, thith inthtant!

  60. 60
    Lord Mooncrater says:

    Enormous. They hang down to her knees – Dave is infatuated by them.

  61. 61
    anon says:

    We’ve all done it. Your worst nightmare come true.

  62. 62
    Fish says:

    They conform to EUSSR coffee cup standard, EU Directive C17.5/Z46757/18L/185*

    The ‘L’ being the left handed version.

  63. 63
    Max Keiser says..... says:

    …..but i bought you that rock and you still don’t put out!!!!

    …AND YOU WONDER WHY I’M MAD!!!!!!!!!!!

  64. 64
    Gordoom says:

    We Scotchmen wear our suits on holiday

  65. 65
    Jimmy the twat says:

    This is obviously a story made up by the Daily Mail and published in The Sun.

  66. 66
    Kitler says:

    Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  67. 67
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    What about the chocolate spider. Any news on that, dear?

  68. 68
    annette curton says:

    No Chuka, business voices will not be ranged up against relaxing Sunday trading laws, nor will the punters, two out of two wrong again.

  69. 69
    Kitler says:

    I wonder how much this is costing the UK tax payer considering he will have a security detail with him and by the look of things baby sitting his kids. He could have gone to Brighton it would be more up his alley.

  70. 70
    Fish says:

    Meanwhile, the BBC interviewer was stunned when the Head of the Trafford Centre near Manchester went off-message to say that the Olympics had been brilliant for business and the relaxation of Sunday trading rules was bringing in an extra £6m per week.

    So stuff that in yer pipe and smoke it Chucky.

  71. 71
    Oxfam says:

    If we harvest them the whole of Africa will have enough protein for a thousand years.

  72. 72
    Kitler says:

    I could swear that’s Nick Clegg in a wig and a dress.

  73. 73
    apathetic sniper says:

    With hindsight, it’s easy to snipe but that horrific episode was a wake-up call to all those traveling abroad with children.

  74. 74
    apathetic sniper says:

    I hope you’re being paid to come here, Elsie.

  75. 75
    Give up now Chuka says:

    Even the unbiased BBC seemed to be biased towards Sunday Trading in that article. Did Chuka actually read it before Tweeting?

  76. 76
    Forkbender says:

    Guido is wondering what they did with the kids… have they lost them again!

  77. 77
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    Caribian?

    FFS, Shirley Williams has a lot to answer for.

  78. 78

    Daily mail reporter

    David Cameron, {46} and wife Samantha {41} relax in the upmarket Club Med, £2,000 a week, of Costa Lotta D’oh on the sun kissed beaches of Spain’s little England district.
    Samantha, {34-27-35}, mother of three, dressed in blue to celebrate the last week of the M&S summer sale. Sam, {34c}, is not adverse to designer frocks from Channel or Dior, but knows that the busy wife of a serving prime minister {David Cameron} must also watch the pennies.
    She chose to splash out on just espresso {4 euro each} for them both.

    Cameron dressed in indigo jeans {Calvin Klein} and a long sleeved shirt {Charles Tyrwhitt, 4 for £99} looked pensive as he began his summer vacation away from his home in Downing street, London {£82,000,000}.

    Mrs Cameron drives a yellow car.

  79. 79
    £148 Million Lottery winner Adrian Bayford says:

    Hahahaha fuck you Dave and your bullshit multicultural big society, we’re emigrating to New Zealand!

    x x x x

    See yeah!

  80. 80
    Mark Oaten says:

    Where?

  81. 81
    Penny says:

  82. 82
    Forkbender says:

    If in doubt, take the kids with you or use the nanny service if you can afford it, just like parents used to do.

  83. 83
    Kitler says:

    The one sitting with Dave.

  84. 84
    Colour Sgt. Bourne says:

    The button on your tunic lad,do it up

  85. 85
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    Unlike some others, no. I have a confession to make: I run one or two alts on here, dear. We come here because we are generous of spirit. My Reg, although he’s a little crumbly now, approves whole-heartedly with what we do, God bless him. Unlike some others, we are free to withdraw at any point; that is to say, we are volunteers.
    One day we will have to move on but others will fill the void, dear. That moment has not arrived quite yet.
    I hope that answers your query.

  86. 86
    smoggie says:

    Now they don’t have to emigrate to that double island full of mingebags at the end of the Earth.

  87. 87
    Are you talking about Dave says:

    Give over, they’re all pissed up on the beach in T-shirts and shorts bought from fucking Primark the last time I looked.

  88. 88
    apathetic sniper says:

    lool – sorry I asked! I was expecting you to reference your beany or dribbling front/back bottom or something. Fucking hell!

  89. 89
    UKIP.i.am.legend says:

    Oh dear. Guido is still trying to flog those Bojo T-shirts like a dead horse. Silly season is still not over.

  90. 90
    Forkbender says:

    But what do you wear under yer kilt laddy

  91. 91
    Labour legacy says:

    Eh? Hammersmith council are going to court on Thursday to get the savages evicted. Fuckers should be deported back to towelhead land.

  92. 92
    Forkbender says:

    Calm down dear, Gover will put it right

  93. 93
    ßilly Boredom is the grossest bumpile ever ! says:

    I’m the real ßilly all you other ßillys are just imitating.

  94. 94
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    Don’t forget to take all that scratched vinyl with you, dear. They’ll probably be quite amused by the sound of recorded music.

  95. 95
    ßilly Boredom is the grossest bumpile ever ! says:

    i’m ßilly !!

  96. 96
    UKIP.i.am.legend says:

    Never mind the kids, where the flick is Clegg? He definitely needs to be kept within culling distance.

  97. 97
    ßilly Boredom is the grossest bumpile ever ! says:

    No im ßilly arent i giudo !!

  98. 98

    Come over to my side and have a deep long look in to my Kebab :)

  99. 99
    Forkbender says:

    The more they put up the prices of rail fairs, the more toffs will use the trains (you know Cammers and Gideon’s chums) there will be very few plebs and oiks on the trains

  100. 100
    light purple says:

    Nice post, netty.

  101. 101
    Calamity Clegg says:

    I am still in a massive sulk.

  102. 102
    Penny Dreadful says:

    How interesting.

  103. 103
    garden shed conceptual continuity expert says:

    Surely, those baby alarms/intercoms would respond over that distance?

  104. 104
    Forkbender says:

    Well it was the LONDON OLYNPIC GAMES ©® , what London lost in trade, places like Manchester cashed in

  105. 105
    Geriatric Fancier says:

    Else — surely you’ve got to 83 and 3/8 by now.

  106. 106
    Dr Sheldon Cooper says:

    {Knock, knock, knock}
    “Penny!”
    {Knock, knock, knock}
    “Penny!”
    {Knock, knock, knock}
    “Penny!”

  107. 107
    pillow talk says:

    Methinks the wives of the last three Prime Ministers have had too much of a say in policy making.

  108. 108
    Shirley says:

    Maybe they didn’t have coms. Maybe the batteries were fucked. Maybe …….

    ….. and, btw, it’s Shirley you dunce.

  109. 109
    the deification of john lennon says:

    shadddddaaaaap you old slag!

  110. 110
    Colour Sgt. Bourne says:

    Lookouts just come down from the hills reporting euro debts to the southeast.
    Billions of them.

  111. 111
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    Yeah *yawns* Does u want me to change it , honey ??

  112. 112
    Gordoom and Eva Braun says:

    what’s a wife?

  113. 113
    @wavydavey says:

    *waves to STEVE*

  114. 114
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    Have you got hummus, dear, or is that just a nasty infection?

  115. 115
    Threesome's rule.... says:

    .
    .
    Tuscany Dave in Majorca…not very Notts.on.the.hill!
    …austerity drive?

  116. 116
    eva prawn says:

    A fish pie, so I’m told by a land-lubbing friend via seamail.

  117. 117
    EP fan. Landlocked says:

    EVA !!!!

  118. 118
    Steve says:

    *waves back at ya*

  119. 119
    EP fan. Landlocked says:

    *so excited I fired at the wrong hole*

  120. 120
    ßilly Boredom is the grossest bumpile ever ! says:

    Their is onyl one ßilly and that is me!

  121. 121

    Left them in the pub again?

  122. 122
    Dave the man? says:

    I’m discussing with my most influential advisor how to be more adept at U turns!!

  123. 123
    Bigot says:

    I suppose it’s just like being back where you were born. You must have got used to it when you were just a picaninny.

  124. 124
    Anonymous says:

    piss off waveydavey, piss of steve

  125. 125

    You are ßilly Bumshire and I claim free tube of Canesten extra strength.

  126. 126
    ßilly Boredom is the grossest bumpile ever ! says:

    I’ll see ur ßilly an raise ya ten .

    Ha ha. No wonder you got fucked off with it all.

    What a fucking cünt !!

    Thx for showin me character map , petal x .

    Fuckin HOON .

    BB x x

  127. 127
    Threesome's rule.... says:

    .
    .
    why don’t you cheer up and get the Olympic volunteers to go out into their communities and become an army of volunteers who will recruit more volunteers.
    .
    ah yes… the voluntary society!
    .
    all the best.

  128. 128
    Tax Watch says:

    HMRC can’t seem to catch the fastest man in the world.

    http://tinyurl.com/d8ftk8c

  129. 129
    Free ANUSOL NOW !! says:

    That’s weird. This moniker weren’t in my deep cupboard of previously-used names .

  130. 130
    Free ANUSOL NOW !! says:

    If the same non-stories get recycled 24/7 for long enough, will anyone that matters give a flying fuck?

  131. 131
    B. B0wden says:

    Monkier theif

  132. 132
    Synic says:

    Is that G4S bodyguard behind Dave on her tea break?

  133. 133
    ßilly Boredom is the grossest bumpile ever ! says:

    Four aces pays , sweetheart !

    I luvs yer so will give yer five minutes to pay .

    Cash or kind , petal ?

    Luvs yer

    BB x x .

  134. 134
    Threesome's rule.... says:

    ..
    ..
    if you clicked then it would be voluntary….ah yes…the voluntary society!
    A society of volunteers.
    .
    long shot?
    .
    it could work though if you have love in your heart and harmony in your head.
    a lot of charitable ppl out there.

  135. 135

    New York Department of Financial Services

    Here to destroy British Banks.

    Yankee Bankee Don’t Do Hanky Panky.

  136. 136
    Lieutenant John Chard says:

    I came here to build a bridge

  137. 137
    weep tears of joy for the wuvverley immigwants says:

    Little wonder the country is fucked what with Slotgob, Thunderthighs and SamCam practically running it for the past 15 years.

  138. 138
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    The reason for the thoughtful expressions is simple; Dave has just had a call from the Brazilian PM enquiring why there are a load of girls names jotted on the back of the Olympic flag with phone numbers written alongside.

  139. 139
    Meanwhile at Tescos... says:

    http://bit.ly/zADPYD

  140. 140
    tat, a younger version of steve mcqueen says:

    Suckers!

  141. 141
    Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz says:

    Comment of the…
    SP4BS

    Submitted on August 1, 2004 at 1:28 pm:

    Boris? Zip? Isn’t there an injunction to stop those two words appearing together?

  142. 142
    GEORGE GIDEON OSBORNE says:

    Just a thought !
    Standard charter fined $340,000,000 by the Americans
    Barclays fined $380,000,000 By the Americans
    RBS will eventually be fined by the Americans
    as will several other banks
    The American banks sell off all their sub prime mortgages and toxic debt causing the global recession for everybody
    Who the fuck gave the yanks the right to proclaim themselves whiter than white in all this and appoint themselves as World Banking Police , fining countries at will to aid their countries recovery ?
    They fucking caused it all FFS !

  143. 143
    Ah! Monika says:

    Looks like one of those ” Whatever happens the kids mustn’t suffer” conversations.

  144. 144
    GEORGE GIDEON OSBORNE says:

    Guido = Finger on the pulse !

    More like hand on the pint pot !

  145. 145
    Silent Bob says:
  146. 146
    John Presclott says:

    I’m writing an account of my heroic struggle to become the most unsuccessful Bulimic in history. I’m calling it ‘Reach For The Pies’.

  147. 147
    Bob Diamante (downgraded) says:

    +1 (million)

  148. 148
    ßilly Boredom is the grossest bumpile ever ! says:

    Could we make a mantrain?

  149. 149
    Ah! Monika says:

    A 50″ wouldn’t fit!

    Thief arrested for shoplifting after hiding 42in TV under her skirt

    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2187983/Thief-arrested-shoplifting-hiding-42in-TV-skirt.html#ixzz23YPGWlQZ

  150. 150
    Hey Lordy, pick a bale of cotton. says:

    What is different about Sunday?

  151. 151
    Can't get it out of my mind says:

    Why do these lips remind me of an arsehole?

  152. 152
    anon says:

    If I cries for no reason , is I normal ??

  153. 153
    Diane Fatbutt says:

    WACIST!

  154. 154
    bless you, you dumb fuck says:

    It’s a day put aside for reflection upon spiritual matters instead of DIY and wanking you fucking tosser.

  155. 155
    dusty springfield says:

    I’ll come round and give you a good slapping E, if it makes you feel better.

  156. 156
    US Banks says:

    Caveat Emptor, suckers!

  157. 157
    Sigmund Freud says:

    Arrrr yes well, you this is usually and underlying or deep rooted problem within you subconscious. The “no reason” suggests your not accepting in to your conscious mind and hence the tears.

    Only you know the what this maybe.

    No charge.

  158. 158
    anon says:

    I jus suddenly got the blues real bad .

  159. 159
    Sigmund Freud says:

    Sorry my English is not so good yes.

  160. 160
    anton de beek says:

    no

  161. 161
    Helpful Tip #17 says:

    Try listening to something other than “The Carpenters”. Works for me.

  162. 162
    Well it's a thought says:

    Nice number if you can do it, hope he has the number of the removal men, him and the uconned us seem to want to be a one off setup.

  163. 163
    dusty springfield says:

    I was thinking more like a black eye.

  164. 164
    Anonynonynonymous says:

    Not very good at this interwebs thingy, r u?

    Page up a few.

  165. 165
    We have to do as we are told now says:

    Reserve currency dear boy, before 1944 it was the Pound Sterling.
    I blame Hitler, Churchill and the Americans as well as the Libour party.

  166. 166
    annette curton says:

    No, Dumkoph!.

  167. 167
    I think it was Sue says:

    Let them flow. You’ll feel better in a few years time.

  168. 168
    Kopi Luwak says:

    Is ‘cave’ a code name for Fort Knox ?
    You can tell us – we all know it was emptied years ago.

  169. 169
    Saffron says:

    Wavy Davy in blue,I apparently thought that was the Cons colour,but I must be wrong because he is not conservative by any means.
    The man is a snake oil salesman and he thinks he will go on conning the British public,him and his mate Gideon are everything that this country could do without.
    He has no backbone to act in the interests of this Country,instead he is a shallow photoshoot tosser who is completely in thrall to his EUSSR masters.
    The Cons now are at a crossroads in that if they want to restore their credibility as the party of England,then they need to make some serious efforts to bring the party back to what it used to be.
    Liebour,the party of tossers who have put this country on it’s knees may well be elected next time round to carry on with their destructive downgrade of this country into a multicultural shithole.
    If this happens it will be down to a bunch of Tory Toffs who can’t see the forest from the trees.
    Wakey Wakey Davey as you will never be forgiven,forget Cleggie and be your own man for christs sake grow some balls.

  170. 170
    Parachute says:

    Fat bitch, she should’ve borrowed one of Diane’s skirts.

  171. 171
    that'll be £275 an hour says:

    The last two words have exposed you as a fake.

  172. 172
    Sigmund Freud says:

    No it is not so good? or No it is not so good yes?

    Arrrr you English confuse me.

  173. 173
    Ed Milibandwagon says:

    These train fair rises are WRONG!

  174. 174
    annette curton says:

    You missed what came next folks:

  175. 175
    Anonynonynonymous says:

    Life is too short to page up a few, obsessive bitch.

  176. 176
    annette curton says:

    No, I don’t want to have sex with your mother.

  177. 177
    Herr Rumpy mit der Pumpy says:

    He our man ist! He how you say ist, zer chicken in der nest! He, der bidding ov zer Glorious National Socialist €USSR does.

    Heial Merkel!! Heial der Glorious €USSR!

    Zer enemies of zer Glorious Reich . . . I mean zer .. . . . will win never!!!

  178. 178
    feeling intellectually constipated? Try Twitter says:

    Show me. ‘Page up a few’ is sooo unspecific, FFS.

  179. 179
    Gorbal's says:

    Ah’m a’writin’ ma booky call’d “Sweat in tha’ thighs”

    It’s chickylitter

  180. 180
    Anonymous says:

    ‘Oi, you, fuck off quite a lot’

  181. 181
    Sad, Sad, McSad says:

    nothing is worn under my kilt – it’s all in perfect working order

    *b-boom* *tish*

  182. 182
    Ed Balls says:

    Don’t forget to hide the antimacassars.

  183. 183
    Geordie says:

    Why Ed? Why should UK taxpayers subsidise South East commuters who already earn the best wages in the country?

  184. 184
    Anti NHS Crap says:

    Yes I would suppose you are.

    Just avoid the NHS doctor who will have to tell you that you are not normal in order, so that he gets paid. And whatever you do, DO NOT agree to NHS tests, as every one of those tests will say you are far way from “normal” and you need to take unnecessary medication to returm you to normal.

  185. 185
    The reason.. says:

    Because many of the “South East commuters who already earn the best wages in the country” earn SFA.

  186. 186
    Mr Helpful says:

    “Heil”.

  187. 187
    R Sole says:

    Your ignorance is fetching

  188. 188
    albacore says:

    You know, you really haven’t a hope
    Without a forensic microscope
    Of telling a Tory from a Labourite
    Disregard the brand name. They sell the same shite

  189. 189
    AC1 says:

    Train subsidies in reality end up in increased house prices for people living near stations.

    Both the graunoiad and daily wail agree that Unaffordable house inflation = “economic growf”, so who are we to disagree?

  190. 190
    anon says:

    Thx , hun .

    I jus put some CCR on an feels cured already .

    When i laughs , I laughs big time ; when I cries , it the same .

    Reminds me I’s a human bean , I spose x .

    anon x

  191. 191
    AC1 says:

    It’s a lack of stoicism caused by expose to BBC radiation. I proscribe a long avoidance of the IQ lowering light box.

  192. 192
  193. 193
    AC1 says:

    Has anyone asked Jon Corzine (friend of Obama) why he’s not in a Max Security jail for stealing from customers?

  194. 194
    AC1 says:

    Ghostery too.

  195. 195
    AC1 says:

    That B is a German S…

    ah….

  196. 196
    AC1 says:

    Euro millions (win and escape the multi-cult hell hole prison the Eurocrat’s built!!

  197. 197
    AC1 says:

    That’s friday night when I summon the guidance of the spirit djin (and tonik).

  198. 198
    AC1 says:

    Should be housed in the cheapest location.

    Value for taxpayers now.

    They should get a tent.

  199. 199
    Reading The Telegraph gave my dog cancer says:

    Both the grauniad and daily femail could employ fifteen pointless hacks to churn out 15,000 words each for a centre-spread, pull-out “Special” on “What you should expect to find under your fingernails when you next clip them”, though. Who gives a fuck what they think about unaffordable house inflation or, for that matter, anything else?

  200. 200
    AC1 says:

    I miss Mrs Slater’s Parrot.

  201. 201
    Fish says:

    Not just Dave turning blue.

    By all accounts Virgin’s Pendelinos will be turning blue when it is announced tomorrow (at 7am) that Beardy has lost his franchise to cash strapped First Group. First have over-bid for the rights to run on the West Coast and will no doubt hand the keys back when they realise that they can’t cough up the premium that they have promised the Government.

    Watch out for even bigger fare increases and a reduction in services

    A crap decision by the DfT, no doubt under pressure to take the biggest bid from Gideon, who clearly hasn’t learned what happened elsewhere and that less is more.

  202. 202
    Fish says:

    I don’t think that Senator McCarthy will be very happy

  203. 203
    Threesome's rule.... says:

    *love in your heart and the head and heart are in harmony.

  204. 204
    Anonymous says:

    These money laundering banks and libor manipulators. Any charges made by any police force yet?

  205. 205
    S.T.U.N says:

    Sam Darling, yes yes, yes I know we have a cuckold relationship. But, the Nation must not be aware that “cleggy boy ” does late night cleanup duties.

    One does not approve of dropping one’s servants in the mire. Not Cricket!

  206. 206
    Tess Tecal says:

    Has Cameron claimed asylum yet?

  207. 207
    Michael How Wierd says:

    I have and I like it here. I won’t hurt you, I know it’s misty and dark. I know you are from the lower orders, but bugger me, I will bugger you, is £1.00 sufficient ?

  208. 208
    Jackthesmilingblack says:

    One thing you have to sat for Guido, it takes a hell of a lot for him to to delete a contribution, And even more to ban you.
    Unlike those Mother Fuckers at the Daily Telegraph.
    Hands up all those that have been banned by the DT,

  209. 209
    not a machine says:

    No one expects the Spanish Inquesition .. cough sovereign bailout ……

    Dont know what to make of euro Gdp figs , other than they seem generous to me .I guess it makes next set the bill for all the dither ……

  210. 210
    Anonymous says:

    “Guido is wondering what they did with the kids”… so are they!

  211. 211
    Lord most high Kinnock says:

    ” Now lets check again did we do everything something is missing ….note for the milkman, cancelled the papers, left a schoolboy in charge of the country, paid the £40 million into the Indian government account. ……..

    THE BLOODY KIDS WE FORGOT TO BRING THEM “

  212. 212
    Irish O'Lympian says:

    Simply fab…

  213. 213
    Gbye now says:

    So next Monday, is it?

  214. 214
    Gbye now says:

    Rail unfairs more like…..

  215. 215
    UKIP.i.am.awake says:

    Is this a political blog or Hello magazine?

  216. 216
    ßilly Boredom is the grossest bumpile ever ! says:

    Oh dear!

    Supposed it was bound to happen. You used to be fun. Now that I have let you have me, you are not excited in the chase any more!

    *bursts into tears*

  217. 217
    Fuck the bbc says:

    If it’s true delighted that bearded extortionist been fucked off

  218. 218
    Lou Scannon says:

    +1

  219. 219
    Lou Scannon says:

    http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/jeremy-hunt-told-dont-pretend-olympics-helped-tourism-8046829.html

    What nonsense, of course the Olympics helped tourism, just like the Hunt said –
    in other countries at the expense of ours.

  220. 220
  221. 221
    Portsmouth Councillor David Fuller says:

    Not as good as the hols we’re having on Saturday night at our Gay Sex fundraiser :-)

  222. 222
    UKIP.i.am.awake says:

    That’s £6billion extra the taxpayer would have had to pay if it was privatised.

  223. 223
    UKIP.i.am.awake says:

    Sorry… nationalised. I am half asleep.

  224. 224
    Deep panned says:

    The first thing the £148m lottery winners did was to order a takeaway pizza. You see, this is why the lower orders shouldn’t be allowed to enter the lottery. No imagination. I’d have booked a weekend getaway for me and all my friends flying first class and staying in 5 star hotel suites with champagne on tap.

    And having seen what the husband looks like, he should use some of the money on a gastric band.

  225. 225
    DAVE cast iron medal CAMERON says:

    “The worta in Majorca don’t taste like it oughta dear” !

  226. 226
    DZ says:

    Why would anybody listen to advice from a soft handed grandson of High Court Judge Sir Helenus Milmo posh boy Chuka?

    I the Telegrapg Chuka pontificates “British business can be a force for good”

    It already is a force for good you idiot

    Croney government contracts and state bailouts are nothing to do with business they are state interference

  227. 227
    DAVE cast iron medal CAMERON says:

    Fuckin pizza what a moron !
    Everybody knows you should start the day with a good hearty fry up

  228. 228
    CLUELESS CAMERON and his CAST IRON MEDAL says:

    Firstgroup have outbid Virgin group by more than a billion pounds , to run the west coast main line
    as we all know rail fares are a joke , dispite billions of our quids being pumped in and then syphoned off as salaries and bonuses we still have some of the highest fares in the world
    but hey when it all goes tits up at least there’s a headline in it for me when i have to bail it out yet again !

    Toodle Pip !

  229. 229
    SP4BS says:

    yebbut. the pizza arrives in 30 minutes, you have to wait a few days for your 5 star weekend.

    I don’t get everyone’s obsession with champagne. Oh, and its supposed to come in bottles, not on draught.

  230. 230
    CLUELESS CAMERON and his CAST IRON MEDAL says:

    I wonder which one of our squeaky clean MP’s has special interests , place on the board , jobs for their children etc in first group ?

  231. 231
    El Sid says:

    Bodega or taberna, surely?

  232. 232
    CLUELESS CAMERON and his CAST IRON MEDAL says:

    An even more puzzling is the toff’sobsession with scoffing of slimy raw fish eggs on ritz crackers

    toodle pip

  233. 233
    Corinium says:

    Probably did what we did at Mahon Airport once and lost the children (well, half of them) between the Departure Lounge and the aircraft.

  234. 234
    Anonymous says:

    {34c}

    Is she?

  235. 235
    ho ho ho says:

    that’s all he’s worth

  236. 236
    Anonymous says:

    as long as it’s not in the UK I don’t give a fuck

  237. 237
    Ironside says:

    The Modern Englishman constantly wears long sleeved shirts and then rolls up the sleeves because he suddenly works out he is in a hot climate.

    This, apparently, is called ‘style’. To be seen is a comfortable, cool, short-sleeved shirt is simply not ‘stylish’, and most certainly not ‘English’.

    All these backwoodsmen need with their long rolled-up sleeves is a knotted hankerchief on their heads and they complete the picture of the English twat abroad.

  238. 238
    Mark Wouters says:

    Hello Yall !
    Well im just thinking of all those “Captured American Soldiers(HANOI HUSSIES) Still in Vietnam , surely they Must be enjoying themselves ,otherwise theyd be home on the Drought Plagued Ranch !! Well Pehaps theyve had enough of Losing wars and Being captured ,it seems to me Its a National pastime in Good ol USA. Chelsea Clinton gets my vote every time,only im British ,oh well!!


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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”


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