August 14th, 2012

Dave Looking Blue

The Prime Minister looked like he had plenty on his mind as he recovered from Boris Mania on holiday in Majorca today. Dave and SamCam were dressed in matching moody blue attire, though the PM guarded against the Spanish sun with a long-sleeved shirt while tanned Samantha flashed some leg in a fetching knee-length dress. Guido is wondering what they did with the kids…


  1. 1
    Kebab Time says:

    “Twatwatch tag” ;)


    • 3
      Orielensis says:

      Black leather shoes on holiday. Definite twatwatch.


      • 25
        Polly Twatbee says:

        Sam’s flipflops are M&S – they have diamante buckles!


        • 30
          Jesus Wept says:

          This blog is becoming like The Daily Mail x 0.000001


          • Gaz Chambers says:

            +1 It’ll be Prezza in a bikini next.


          • Daily mail reporter

            David Cameron, {46} and wife Samantha {41} relax in the upmarket Club Med, £2,000 a week, of Costa Lotta D’oh on the sun kissed beaches of Spain’s little England district.
            Samantha, {34-27-35}, mother of three, dressed in blue to celebrate the last week of the M&S summer sale. Sam, {34c}, is not adverse to designer frocks from Channel or Dior, but knows that the busy wife of a serving prime minister {David Cameron} must also watch the pennies.
            She chose to splash out on just espresso {4 euro each} for them both.

            Cameron dressed in indigo jeans {Calvin Klein} and a long sleeved shirt {Charles Tyrwhitt, 4 for £99} looked pensive as he began his summer vacation away from his home in Downing street, London {£82,000,000}.

            Mrs Cameron drives a yellow car.


          • says:

            Oh dear. Guido is still trying to flog those Bojo T-shirts like a dead horse. Silly season is still not over.


          • says:

            Never mind the kids, where the flick is Clegg? He definitely needs to be kept within culling distance.


          • Calamity Clegg says:

            I am still in a massive sulk.


          • Threesome's rule.... says:

            why don’t you cheer up and get the Olympic volunteers to go out into their communities and become an army of volunteers who will recruit more volunteers.
            ah yes… the voluntary society!
            all the best.


          • Anonymous says:


            Is she?


      • 54
        Lord Jensen Interceptor says:

        Looks like she is sitting on her gold mine. Anybody know how big the beef curtains are?


    • 48
      AC1 says:

      Two posts about nationalist socialists in a row?


    • 76
      Forkbender says:

      Guido is wondering what they did with the kids… have they lost them again!


      • 211
        Lord most high Kinnock says:

        ” Now lets check again did we do everything something is missing ….note for the milkman, cancelled the papers, left a schoolboy in charge of the country, paid the £40 million into the Indian government account. ……..



    • 81
      Penny says:


  2. 2
    FFS says:

    What a load of pointless shite. Who gives a stuff about him, or Becks?


    • 9
      Tuscan Villain says:

      If you clicked on it, you made Guido some money. Gotcha!


      • 33
        Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

        Where do we click to un-cünt him, dear?


        • 44
          Sir Alan Bignose says:

          Hired, Elsie. Do you have your own legs?


          • apathetic sniper says:

            I hope you’re being paid to come here, Elsie.


          • Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

            Unlike some others, no. I have a confession to make: I run one or two alts on here, dear. We come here because we are generous of spirit. My Reg, although he’s a little crumbly now, approves whole-heartedly with what we do, God bless him. Unlike some others, we are free to withdraw at any point; that is to say, we are volunteers.
            One day we will have to move on but others will fill the void, dear. That moment has not arrived quite yet.
            I hope that answers your query.


          • apathetic sniper says:

            lool – sorry I asked! I was expecting you to reference your beany or dribbling front/back bottom or something. Fucking hell!


          • AC1 says:

            I miss Mrs Slater’s Parrot.


      • 134
        Threesome's rule.... says:

        if you clicked then it would be voluntary….ah yes…the voluntary society!
        A society of volunteers.
        long shot?
        it could work though if you have love in your heart and harmony in your head.
        a lot of charitable ppl out there.


  3. 4
    tommy5d says:

    Left them in a restaurant?


  4. 5
    Lou Scannon says:

    Perhaps Good4Shit can sort out his problems as they didn’t have much to during the olympics :



  5. 6
    Anonymous says:

    Have they used the McCann’s babysitting technique?


    • 73
      apathetic sniper says:

      With hindsight, it’s easy to snipe but that horrific episode was a wake-up call to all those traveling abroad with children.


      • 82
        Forkbender says:

        If in doubt, take the kids with you or use the nanny service if you can afford it, just like parents used to do.


        • 103
          garden shed conceptual continuity expert says:

          Surely, those baby alarms/intercoms would respond over that distance?


          • Shirley says:

            Maybe they didn’t have coms. Maybe the batteries were fucked. Maybe …….

            ….. and, btw, it’s Shirley you dunce.


  6. 8
    Antipo-dean says:

    What every responsible parent does: Leave them at the pub!


  7. 12
    Bled White Taxpayer says:

    Seems a bit creepy for Guido to wonder what they did with the kids (McCann nastiness aside, from earlier comments).

    They probably did what tens of thousands of middle class parents do in the summer holidays. Pack the kids off to Granny and Grandpa for a few days, then get themselves somewhere sunny to have proper adult conversation, and shag like bunnies at night.


  8. 13

    “..I know its not usual Sam..but you know how things are..and we do need some favourable coverage in the press…Remember Sarah Brown introduced old smelly at Labour’s conference and all those old socialists got all misty eyed over the medicated monster’s foibles. So..would you you do this for me…At conference…before I go on for the leader’s speech….
    Pretty please? It would really help me out of a hole…you go out first and If you could just get your tits out for the mags..?”


  9. 14
    Anonymous says:

    Leave them alone. Everyone is entitled to a holiday and also dress as they want to. That is being critical for the sake of it. Not worthy of you Guido.


  10. 15
    ivor biggun says:


  11. 16
    Max Keiser says..... says:

    …..I’M AS MAD AS HELL!!!!!!!!!!! *drool*


  12. 17
    Hanoj Nworb (Not Vietnamese) says:

    Great place to sell your unwanted CDs and DVDs or iundeed buy an old classic
    An unused DVD or CD is like David Cameron
    However at least his beard looks better in a skirt than the bigotted old woman that I married
    I have sold my Artiated monkeys monkeys album to the above people and have raised enough cash to save the world


  13. 18
    annette curton says:

    Moody and Blue?.


  14. 19

    Those fucking horrible tiny cups of coffee you get everywhere on the continent. Sneeze and the whole lot disappears.


  15. 20
    genghiz the kahn says:

    You know people say I’m the Heir to Blair, in that case I’ll resign just before the economy goes tits up.


  16. 21

    FFS!! How could you work with a group of F@ckwits Cleg, Good old Vince & the rest of the total fuckwits called the Libdums? C’mon they are worse than the Leibour lot. If that is posible!


  17. 22
    Hannibal from Carthage says:

    Mad dogs and Englishmen.

    The modern Englishman goes to Spain in the height of summer and wears a full sleeved buttoned down shirt.

    The temperature must be about thirty degrees.


    • 31
      An Eton Toff says:

      Standards dear boy!! Standards!!


    • 56

      That is no reason not to wear a tie.


    • 64
      Gordoom says:

      We Scotchmen wear our suits on holiday


    • 87
      Are you talking about Dave says:

      Give over, they’re all pissed up on the beach in T-shirts and shorts bought from fucking Primark the last time I looked.


    • 237
      Ironside says:

      The Modern Englishman constantly wears long sleeved shirts and then rolls up the sleeves because he suddenly works out he is in a hot climate.

      This, apparently, is called ‘style’. To be seen is a comfortable, cool, short-sleeved shirt is simply not ‘stylish’, and most certainly not ‘English’.

      All these backwoodsmen need with their long rolled-up sleeves is a knotted hankerchief on their heads and they complete the picture of the English twat abroad.


  18. 23
    Polly Twatbee says:

    Majorca – how downmarket! It’s not a patch on Tuscany.


  19. 24
    nellnewman says:

    Oh Dear they haven’t left those kids in a spanish bar somewhere I hope.


  20. 26
    Tin Can Cam, rattling along the gutter, (via-email) says:

    I say you jolly chaps! Dashed good show by whomever put the rail fares up!!! See if we can move them up a notch or two !! More loot for my jolly HS2 chums and the HS2 scam!!!! Super!!!! What? Watt’s the total WindFarm whattage toady??


    • 99
      Forkbender says:

      The more they put up the prices of rail fairs, the more toffs will use the trains (you know Cammers and Gideon’s chums) there will be very few plebs and oiks on the trains


  21. 35
    Labour legacy says:

    She says, and I quote, “I deserve to live in a nice house and get benefits”.


  22. 47
    Chuka is lying says:


    • 53
      Chuka is lying. From his own link says:

      “Sir Stuart Rose, former head of Marks & Spencer, said he thought it was highly likely that Sunday hours would move into line with those allowed on other days of the week: “Personally I do think it will become a permanent fixture over time.

      “My only fear is it will put a little bit of pressure on workers, it is important to remember the hard work that is done by staff in shops,” he told the BBC.


      • 70
        Fish says:

        Meanwhile, the BBC interviewer was stunned when the Head of the Trafford Centre near Manchester went off-message to say that the Olympics had been brilliant for business and the relaxation of Sunday trading rules was bringing in an extra £6m per week.

        So stuff that in yer pipe and smoke it Chucky.


        • 104
          Forkbender says:

          Well it was the LONDON OLYNPIC GAMES ©® , what London lost in trade, places like Manchester cashed in


    • 68
      annette curton says:

      No Chuka, business voices will not be ranged up against relaxing Sunday trading laws, nor will the punters, two out of two wrong again.


      • 75
        Give up now Chuka says:

        Even the unbiased BBC seemed to be biased towards Sunday Trading in that article. Did Chuka actually read it before Tweeting?


  23. 57
    ßilly Boredom is the grossest bumpile ever ! says:

    +++++BREAKING WIND+++++

    Don’t rely on your smatrphone when tryin to navigate thru the Cairngorms gidou !


  24. 69
    Kitler says:

    I wonder how much this is costing the UK tax payer considering he will have a security detail with him and by the look of things baby sitting his kids. He could have gone to Brighton it would be more up his alley.


  25. 72
    Kitler says:

    I could swear that’s Nick Clegg in a wig and a dress.


  26. 79
    £148 Million Lottery winner Adrian Bayford says:

    Hahahaha fuck you Dave and your bullshit multicultural big society, we’re emigrating to New Zealand!

    x x x x

    See yeah!


  27. 98

    Come over to my side and have a deep long look in to my Kebab :)


  28. 107
    pillow talk says:

    Methinks the wives of the last three Prime Ministers have had too much of a say in policy making.


  29. 117
    EP fan. Landlocked says:

    EVA !!!!


  30. 121

    Left them in the pub again?


  31. 122
    Dave the man? says:

    I’m discussing with my most influential advisor how to be more adept at U turns!!


    • 137
      weep tears of joy for the wuvverley immigwants says:

      Little wonder the country is fucked what with Slotgob, Thunderthighs and SamCam practically running it for the past 15 years.


  32. 128
    Tax Watch says:

    HMRC can’t seem to catch the fastest man in the world.


  33. 132
    Synic says:

    Is that G4S bodyguard behind Dave on her tea break?


  34. 135

    New York Department of Financial Services

    Here to destroy British Banks.

    Yankee Bankee Don’t Do Hanky Panky.


  35. 138
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    The reason for the thoughtful expressions is simple; Dave has just had a call from the Brazilian PM enquiring why there are a load of girls names jotted on the back of the Olympic flag with phone numbers written alongside.


  36. 140
    tat, a younger version of steve mcqueen says:



  37. 141
    Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz says:

    Comment of the…

    Submitted on August 1, 2004 at 1:28 pm:

    Boris? Zip? Isn’t there an injunction to stop those two words appearing together?


  38. 142

    Just a thought !
    Standard charter fined $340,000,000 by the Americans
    Barclays fined $380,000,000 By the Americans
    RBS will eventually be fined by the Americans
    as will several other banks
    The American banks sell off all their sub prime mortgages and toxic debt causing the global recession for everybody
    Who the fuck gave the yanks the right to proclaim themselves whiter than white in all this and appoint themselves as World Banking Police , fining countries at will to aid their countries recovery ?
    They fucking caused it all FFS !


    • 156
      US Banks says:

      Caveat Emptor, suckers!


      • 168
        Kopi Luwak says:

        Is ‘cave’ a code name for Fort Knox ?
        You can tell us – we all know it was emptied years ago.


    • 165
      We have to do as we are told now says:

      Reserve currency dear boy, before 1944 it was the Pound Sterling.
      I blame Hitler, Churchill and the Americans as well as the Libour party.


  39. 143
    Ah! Monika says:

    Looks like one of those ” Whatever happens the kids mustn’t suffer” conversations.


  40. 146
    John Presclott says:

    I’m writing an account of my heroic struggle to become the most unsuccessful Bulimic in history. I’m calling it ‘Reach For The Pies’.


  41. 149
    Ah! Monika says:

    A 50″ wouldn’t fit!

    Thief arrested for shoplifting after hiding 42in TV under her skirt

    Read more:


  42. 151
    Can't get it out of my mind says:

    Why do these lips remind me of an arsehole?


  43. 152
    anon says:

    If I cries for no reason , is I normal ??


    • 155
      dusty springfield says:

      I’ll come round and give you a good slapping E, if it makes you feel better.


    • 157
      Sigmund Freud says:

      Arrrr yes well, you this is usually and underlying or deep rooted problem within you subconscious. The “no reason” suggests your not accepting in to your conscious mind and hence the tears.

      Only you know the what this maybe.

      No charge.


    • 159
      Sigmund Freud says:

      Sorry my English is not so good yes.


    • 164
      Anonynonynonymous says:

      Not very good at this interwebs thingy, r u?

      Page up a few.


      • 175
        Anonynonynonymous says:

        Life is too short to page up a few, obsessive bitch.


        • 178
          feeling intellectually constipated? Try Twitter says:

          Show me. ‘Page up a few’ is sooo unspecific, FFS.


          • ßilly Boredom is the grossest bumpile ever ! says:

            Oh dear!

            Supposed it was bound to happen. You used to be fun. Now that I have let you have me, you are not excited in the chase any more!

            *bursts into tears*


    • 167
      I think it was Sue says:

      Let them flow. You’ll feel better in a few years time.


    • 184
      Anti NHS Crap says:

      Yes I would suppose you are.

      Just avoid the NHS doctor who will have to tell you that you are not normal in order, so that he gets paid. And whatever you do, DO NOT agree to NHS tests, as every one of those tests will say you are far way from “normal” and you need to take unnecessary medication to returm you to normal.


      • 190
        anon says:

        Thx , hun .

        I jus put some CCR on an feels cured already .

        When i laughs , I laughs big time ; when I cries , it the same .

        Reminds me I’s a human bean , I spose x .

        anon x


    • 191
      AC1 says:

      It’s a lack of stoicism caused by expose to BBC radiation. I proscribe a long avoidance of the IQ lowering light box.


  44. 162
    Well it's a thought says:

    Nice number if you can do it, hope he has the number of the removal men, him and the uconned us seem to want to be a one off setup.


  45. 169
    Saffron says:

    Wavy Davy in blue,I apparently thought that was the Cons colour,but I must be wrong because he is not conservative by any means.
    The man is a snake oil salesman and he thinks he will go on conning the British public,him and his mate Gideon are everything that this country could do without.
    He has no backbone to act in the interests of this Country,instead he is a shallow photoshoot tosser who is completely in thrall to his EUSSR masters.
    The Cons now are at a crossroads in that if they want to restore their credibility as the party of England,then they need to make some serious efforts to bring the party back to what it used to be.
    Liebour,the party of tossers who have put this country on it’s knees may well be elected next time round to carry on with their destructive downgrade of this country into a multicultural shithole.
    If this happens it will be down to a bunch of Tory Toffs who can’t see the forest from the trees.
    Wakey Wakey Davey as you will never be forgiven,forget Cleggie and be your own man for christs sake grow some balls.


    • 177
      Herr Rumpy mit der Pumpy says:

      He our man ist! He how you say ist, zer chicken in der nest! He, der bidding ov zer Glorious National Socialist €USSR does.

      Heial Merkel!! Heial der Glorious €USSR!

      Zer enemies of zer Glorious Reich . . . I mean zer .. . . . will win never!!!


    • 188
      albacore says:

      You know, you really haven’t a hope
      Without a forensic microscope
      Of telling a Tory from a Labourite
      Disregard the brand name. They sell the same shite


  46. 173
    Ed Milibandwagon says:

    These train fair rises are WRONG!


    • 182
      Ed Balls says:

      Don’t forget to hide the antimacassars.


    • 183
      Geordie says:

      Why Ed? Why should UK taxpayers subsidise South East commuters who already earn the best wages in the country?


      • 185
        The reason.. says:

        Because many of the “South East commuters who already earn the best wages in the country” earn SFA.


      • 189
        AC1 says:

        Train subsidies in reality end up in increased house prices for people living near stations.

        Both the graunoiad and daily wail agree that Unaffordable house inflation = “economic growf”, so who are we to disagree?


        • 199
          Reading The Telegraph gave my dog cancer says:

          Both the grauniad and daily femail could employ fifteen pointless hacks to churn out 15,000 words each for a centre-spread, pull-out “Special” on “What you should expect to find under your fingernails when you next clip them”, though. Who gives a fuck what they think about unaffordable house inflation or, for that matter, anything else?


  47. 174
    annette curton says:

    You missed what came next folks:


  48. 192
  49. 201
    Fish says:

    Not just Dave turning blue.

    By all accounts Virgin’s Pendelinos will be turning blue when it is announced tomorrow (at 7am) that Beardy has lost his franchise to cash strapped First Group. First have over-bid for the rights to run on the West Coast and will no doubt hand the keys back when they realise that they can’t cough up the premium that they have promised the Government.

    Watch out for even bigger fare increases and a reduction in services

    A crap decision by the DfT, no doubt under pressure to take the biggest bid from Gideon, who clearly hasn’t learned what happened elsewhere and that less is more.


  50. 204
    Anonymous says:

    These money laundering banks and libor manipulators. Any charges made by any police force yet?


  51. 205
    S.T.U.N says:

    Sam Darling, yes yes, yes I know we have a cuckold relationship. But, the Nation must not be aware that “cleggy boy ” does late night cleanup duties.

    One does not approve of dropping one’s servants in the mire. Not Cricket!


  52. 206
    Tess Tecal says:

    Has Cameron claimed asylum yet?


    • 207
      Michael How Wierd says:

      I have and I like it here. I won’t hurt you, I know it’s misty and dark. I know you are from the lower orders, but bugger me, I will bugger you, is £1.00 sufficient ?


  53. 208
    Jackthesmilingblack says:

    One thing you have to sat for Guido, it takes a hell of a lot for him to to delete a contribution, And even more to ban you.
    Unlike those Mother Fuckers at the Daily Telegraph.
    Hands up all those that have been banned by the DT,


  54. 209
    not a machine says:

    No one expects the Spanish Inquesition .. cough sovereign bailout ……

    Dont know what to make of euro Gdp figs , other than they seem generous to me .I guess it makes next set the bill for all the dither ……


  55. 210
    Anonymous says:

    “Guido is wondering what they did with the kids”… so are they!


  56. 215 says:

    Is this a political blog or Hello magazine?


  57. 217
    Fuck the bbc says:

    If it’s true delighted that bearded extortionist been fucked off


  58. 219
    Lou Scannon says:

    What nonsense, of course the Olympics helped tourism, just like the Hunt said –
    in other countries at the expense of ours.


  59. 221
    Portsmouth Councillor David Fuller says:

    Not as good as the hols we’re having on Saturday night at our Gay Sex fundraiser :-)


  60. 224
    Deep panned says:

    The first thing the £148m lottery winners did was to order a takeaway pizza. You see, this is why the lower orders shouldn’t be allowed to enter the lottery. No imagination. I’d have booked a weekend getaway for me and all my friends flying first class and staying in 5 star hotel suites with champagne on tap.

    And having seen what the husband looks like, he should use some of the money on a gastric band.


    • 227
      DAVE cast iron medal CAMERON says:

      Fuckin pizza what a moron !
      Everybody knows you should start the day with a good hearty fry up


    • 229
      SP4BS says:

      yebbut. the pizza arrives in 30 minutes, you have to wait a few days for your 5 star weekend.

      I don’t get everyone’s obsession with champagne. Oh, and its supposed to come in bottles, not on draught.


      • 232

        An even more puzzling is the toff’sobsession with scoffing of slimy raw fish eggs on ritz crackers

        toodle pip


  61. 225
    DAVE cast iron medal CAMERON says:

    “The worta in Majorca don’t taste like it oughta dear” !


  62. 226
    DZ says:

    Why would anybody listen to advice from a soft handed grandson of High Court Judge Sir Helenus Milmo posh boy Chuka?

    I the Telegrapg Chuka pontificates “British business can be a force for good”

    It already is a force for good you idiot

    Croney government contracts and state bailouts are nothing to do with business they are state interference


  63. 228

    Firstgroup have outbid Virgin group by more than a billion pounds , to run the west coast main line
    as we all know rail fares are a joke , dispite billions of our quids being pumped in and then syphoned off as salaries and bonuses we still have some of the highest fares in the world
    but hey when it all goes tits up at least there’s a headline in it for me when i have to bail it out yet again !

    Toodle Pip !


    • 230

      I wonder which one of our squeaky clean MP’s has special interests , place on the board , jobs for their children etc in first group ?


  64. 233
    Corinium says:

    Probably did what we did at Mahon Airport once and lost the children (well, half of them) between the Departure Lounge and the aircraft.


  65. 238
    Mark Wouters says:

    Hello Yall !
    Well im just thinking of all those “Captured American Soldiers(HANOI HUSSIES) Still in Vietnam , surely they Must be enjoying themselves ,otherwise theyd be home on the Drought Plagued Ranch !! Well Pehaps theyve had enough of Losing wars and Being captured ,it seems to me Its a National pastime in Good ol USA. Chelsea Clinton gets my vote every time,only im British ,oh well!!


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