August 13th, 2012

Video: Dave Ain’t Got the Moves Like Johnson


70 Comments

  1. 1
    True Tory says:

    Calamity Dave must be the most uncoordinated bozo. No wonder Sam’s looking elsewhere….

  2. 2
    CLUELESS DAVE and his CAST IRON MEDAL says:

    My Bowels have better movements than Boris !

    Toodle Pip !

  3. 3
    Liarpoliticians says:

    With an £18bn price tag, the taxpayers aren’t the winners.

    Seb Co, Tessa Jowell et-al, the IOC, Olympic Delivery Authority, and sponsors are the winners.

  4. 4
    anon says:

    Paralimpricks needs supporting too.

  5. 5
    Anonymous says:

    Looks like the retards turned up early for the Paralympic games.

  6. 6
    UKIP.i.am.legend says:

    Boris, the oldest swinger in town.

  7. 7
    UKIP.i.am.legend says:

    We owe a great debt to Tony Blair for providing so many British competitors for the Paralympics.

  8. 8
    The Office Of David Cameron says:

    Please,Dave was understandably worried as along with Liam Gallagher,George Michael,Kate Moss & Naomi Campbell there were rumours he would be tested for drugs after the ceremony !

  9. 9
    ToonBob... says:

    A hell of a big cheer went up for Boris at the flag handover moment….

    Nervous moment yesterday when I thought that Dave, standing in front of Number 10, was going to announce he was going to save the starving across the globe…… give ‘em money, money, money.

  10. 10
    Bliar says:

    That isnt the Olympics – its footage of the next Dancing Bear vid (NSFW if you google it).

  11. 11
    The Tit in No 10 says:

    I say you jolly chaps!! Could I blame those weird crystal thingys Cherie left – it’s the vibration thingys they send out or some dashed ray! What?? Wattage??

  12. 12
    Anonymous says:

    Perhaps we owe more to the inbreeding of the privileged class.

  13. 13
    UKIP.i.am.legend says:

    So the state closes thousands of school playing fields over the last twenty years and we get more gold medals than ever before. We have the best golfers in the world and we won the Tour de France. We even became top of the world at cricket.

    Just think what we could achieve in education if we closed all the state schools.

  14. 14
    jgm2 says:

    lLook at what the Labour politicians have to say about squandering 20bn quid for a global sports day…

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-19179711

    Ken Livingston (P45)

    “I didn’t bid for the Olympics because I wanted three weeks of sport,” he said. “I bid for the Olympics because it’s the only way to get the billions of pounds out of the government to develop the east end.”

    If by ‘develop the East End’ you mean fund a fucking great parking lot for Westfield Mall then I suppose you have a point.

    And the Maximum Imbecile…

    ‘Mr Brown was always keen to emphasise what he saw as the economic benefits of the 2012 Games. The Olympics would be both a “job creator and growth generator”, he said.

    So there you have it. Further evidence of Imbecile Labour politicians thinking up any excuse to squander astronomical amounts of money and hope that some of it sticks.

    Hanging is too good for them.

  15. 15
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Jump aboard the Ed Miliband Olympics Bandwagon. Who knows where the bandwagon will be tomorrow.

  16. 16
    jgm2 says:

    Lottery funding over the last four years was 240 million quid. Call it thirty gold medals to make the maths simple and that’s 8 million quid per gold.

    It’s hardly surprising we won so many fucking medals. I’d have thought with eight million quid you could pick up practically any random kid off the street and find something they could excel at and buy them a fucking gold medal with eight million quids worth of training. We’re no better than the fucking Chinese, the old USSR , North Korea or any of those other comedy nations that seek to project their ideological power through the medium of massively subsidised ‘amateur’ athletes.

  17. 17
    Ian Woodrow says:

    Dave has got taste. Who wants to dance to a miming overblown rubbish group?

  18. 18
    Tomorrow's Chip Wrapper says:

    Lot of nice housing estates though built on the land and powering Brown’s boom and bust economy on the back of rising house prices and cheap 125% Mortgages…until it all came crashing down of course………………

  19. 19
    illogical says:

    Perhaps the highest accolade should be given to John Terry [ dancing 2 places to the left of Boris] as the greatest swinger. I suppose after UK successes it was inevitable he would eventually offer his athletic support to Rio!

  20. 20
    UKIP.i.am.legend says:

    England is also ranked 3rd at football by FIFA. And all this after closing so many school playing fields. Obviously there are far better ways to educate all our kids properly than the abysmal state education system.

  21. 21
    Expat Geordie says:

    As it said in the film Highlander:

    “There can be only one.”

  22. 22
    The Office Of David Cameron says:

    Later today,Dave will give his version of the “ping pong” speech which gave Boris so much coverage.

    Dave will do anything to secure his position as Leader Of The Opposition.

  23. 23
    Anonymous says:

    When will the figures be published of those who have entered the country as part of their Olympics team but have dis-appeared or claimed asylum?

  24. 24
    David Cameron (Leader of the Nasty Party) says:

    Right that’s it then.

    I’m off on holiday to Spain, and Nick has also booked his holidays.

    That leaves William Hague in charge.

    Bloody Hell !!!

  25. 25
    UKIP.i.am.legend says:

    Easy enough to catch them (not that they want to). Just get someone to organise a bogus asylumpic games.

  26. 26
    Lord Stansted says:

    Agreed, but I’m afraid the Tories, LibDems UKIP, etc., etc. aren’t much better. But hey, one good thing is those @@@@@@@ games are OVER.

  27. 27
    Lord Stansted says:

    Don’t say too much or we will get a bill from TB Associates.

  28. 28
    East India Company Wallah says:

    Yea,I heard half of team GB have refused to return to south london

  29. 29
    East India Company Wallah says:

    +1

  30. 30
    Lord Stansted says:

    Where were Bono (Bonno?), Bob fu@@ G and the other tossers? Oh, with Blair making more $$$$

  31. 31
    Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    I always say that the best test of a Prime Minister is if they can dance to the Spice Girls!

    I’ll bet Winston Churchill couldn’t dance as well as Boris.

    Do me a favour.

  32. 32
    G Brown Esq. says:

    They shoulf have got me – I know a lot about gold.

  33. 33
    not now Cato says:

    Never mind Bo and Davey “one term”, which retard decided to give that bunch of middle-aged un-married (‘cept Mrs Beckham) mummies the top-slot?

    Was this supposed to be a pastiche of Eurotrash or was Damien Hurst reliving the “good old days” of Brit-Pop, Mr Blair in number 10 and invading Iraq?

    What a crock of socialist shite.

    Good olympics though, but that comes down to the athletes.

  34. 34
    bollocks to that says:

    Really, was that the best that the country could offer in terms of music?

    It was a safe end of term school party.

    Why no Motorhead?

  35. 35
    Olympic Legacy Now... says:

    .
    .
    we are good at volunteering…and throwing money. perhaps at some stage we could become competent money managers?

  36. 36
    jgm2 says:

    And a 240 million slush-fund for training our ‘amateur’ athletes.

  37. 37
    Pundit Too says:

    I had a friend once who called his glamorous wife “the oldest teenager in the world”. Boris fits this description perfectly, which could explain his young fans (and conquests?) – but is Guido in love with him is the question?

  38. 38
    jgm2 says:

    I describe my wife (married for 20+ years) as ‘my first wife’.

    Keeps her on her toes.

  39. 39
    Hang The Bastards says:

    Boris just outclasses Liberal Dave in every department.

    I will never forgive Dave for sell us out on the EU. Fucking traitor. Boris has my vote

  40. 40
    Ivan Agenda says:

    Interesting that the BBC and other media pundits call us 3rd in the medal stakes on one criteria – the number of gold medals.
    Important criteria; but we came 4th if we count all medals, and still fourth if we value gold, silver and bronze medals at 3,2 and 1 point each.
    The PR machine is out in force.
    Even the USA exceeded their own forecast of a very close run thing with China.

  41. 41

    Cameron had earlier stumbled during his breakfast interview saying that schools had got away with doing ‘dancing or something’ and then quickly corrected himself as he could hear the distant hiss of a million ballet mums getting ready to sink their fangs in to his ankle. “Not that there’s anything wrong with dancing”.

    No, too bloody right there’s nothing wrong with one of the most popular forms of exercise in the country. It is done at every level and even he must have noticed that Strictly Come Dancing is exceptionally competitive. Being an ignorant nerk he is presumably unaware of all the display troupes, competitive dance festivals, examinations and the proliferation of dance forms which many of us are proud to support whether solo or group productions.

    Presumably dance doesn’t count because it is mainly privately-financed, reasonably priced and widely offered so that you have to be living in a remote place before you can’t get to a class in a village hall, often the expert Royal Academy of Dance ballet syllabus which is an acknowledged world-standard and introduces everyone who cares to point their toes to a similar training to Darcey Bussell.

  42. 42
    Ivan Agenda says:

    Interesting that Milliband (2) was very rarely shown at the Olympics as was Bob Crow and the union apparatchiks – perhaps they will be more at home with the Para-olympics as their party caused a lot of them to be this way.

  43. 43
    Pundit Too says:

    $500 million according to the Boston Herald.

  44. 44
    Tom Watson ate my horse says:

    I ate my first wife.

  45. 45
    Lou Scannon says:

    But is Boris any different from Dave when it comes to the EU ?
    I now doubt if Boris would offer us a meaningful choice on this, even if Dave does get dumped in favour of Boris.
    The ‘Conservative’ party seems to have sort of death-wish.

  46. 46
    Lou Scannon says:

    Hanging, drawing and quartering would be better – not in that order, of course.
    Actually, drawing by Rich & Mark would qualify as part of their punishment.

  47. 47
    The Wrong Miliband says:

    Don’t mith my thpeeth to the wiff-waff.

  48. 48
    Pundit Too says:

    Woman on a raft – It was “Indian dancing” dear.
    As for 2 hours per week physical excercise of the last government, this is useless.
    In the 40’s at primary school we did 5 hours physical in the playground, and singing, music and violin lessons with a talented school band. Violin lessons stopped when they asked us to buy the violins and no family in this deprived area school could afford it.
    In the 50’s I had 6 hours of physical exercise comprising of sports and gymnastics every week – and if you represented your school (as I did in 6 sports) then at least another 6 hours per week on training and competitions out of school hours – but a teacher(s) was always present – not like now.
    As for dancing I paid for lessons for ballroom and later Latin American dancing over two seasons at the local Techinical college which were cheap by today’s standards. I also had to pay for judo lessons which were subsidized by the council.
    Not many fat people around in those days.

  49. 49
    Rebekah says:

    There’s no stopping him once he gets the bitch between his teeth.

  50. 50
    Tuscan Tony says:

    One question: who were the grim slappers mouted on the cabs?

  51. 51
    lastofthesummervintage says:

    Cameron has all the grace and style of a ruptured tortoise
    i have seen old people with incontinence move better

  52. 52
    I really, really, can't be arsed says:

    Remember, Boris supports the entry of Muslim Turkey to the E.U. – as if there weren’t enough of the buggers here already!

  53. 53
    I really, really, can't be arsed says:

    Don’t worry – we have the bleeding Limpy Games yet to come.

  54. 54
    I really, really, can't be arsed says:

    Or perhaps a mong or window-licker’s games?

  55. 55
    I really, really, can't be arsed says:

    Why no Chris Barber Jazz Band?

  56. 56
    I really, really, can't be arsed says:

    The Space Girls!

  57. 57
    Ack-Acker Bilk says:

    Why no stranger on the shore ?

  58. 58
    Mine d'Boggles says:

    Are professional tennis players who played/won at Wimbledon classed as amateurs for the Olympics?

  59. 59
    Sarah says:

    Put that laptop down and go back to your room, Gordon, and stay there until nursey says that you can come out…and don’t let me hear you say ‘bowels’ again.

  60. 60
    jgm2 says:

    It appears so. On the up-side, Andy Murray may be a horrible, bad-tempered Little Scotlander but he didn’t require 8 million quid of public funding to win his ‘amateur’ medal.

  61. 61
    Fish says:

    The Yanks tend to draw up the league table on the total number of medals won rather than the colour…especially so when they were trailing China’s gold. But the IOC league table shows us third.

    There are some Euroloonies, who have escaped, who say that we are FIRST in the table (if you aggregate all of the medals won by the country that they call Europe).

  62. 62
    Fish says:

    I saw some oldish ‘singers’ on the top of four London Taxis, but I didn’t see any of them get mounted. Did I miss something?

  63. 63
    mr_ugly says:

    Time to wheel out the one from Boris’s ancestor about settling an issue of precedence between a louse and a flea?

  64. 64
    Turkey is for christmas... says:

    .
    doubt whether turkey wants to join.

  65. 65
    keredybretsa says:

    Cool Borrie now that the show is over. Perhaps the true profit and loss accounts of Olumpicgate can be fully revealed.

  66. 66
    Accenchewate the pozitiv says:

    Ah! but that was back in BC…….

    Before computers.

  67. 67
    Thursday's Child says:

    Video still available here (via the good old Grauniad)

    http://gu.com/p/39y5d

  68. 68
    John Bellingham says:

    I used to call my 15 years years younger mistress as my “second ex-wife to be”

  69. 69
    Jacques Rogge says:

    Dear Mr Fawkes, on behalf of the International Olympic Committee I demand that you remove the amusing .gif image of your dancing mayor. We own all images of your mayor taken during the Olympics, including the one of him dangling from a wire waving your flags.

    However, if you wish to retain the image the Committee is prepared to accept a licence arrangement for an annual fee of USD 500,000, as we on the Committee have lots of expenses in the next 4 years before our circus hits Rio.

    Kind regards

    Count Jacques Rogge
    President of the IOC

  70. 70


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