August 10th, 2012

Furious Wandsworth Fraud Councillor Loses Party Posts

Guido hears that next week’s Wandsworth Guardian are going heavy on the Wandsworth Conservatives fraud cover up that Guido has been exposing over the last month.  Guido has the full evidence of Councillor Robert Morritt having his hand in the till while he was the Transport Secretary’s agent at the last election. As a result of pressure applied from various angles, today we learn he is to stand aside as Deputy Chairman of Justine Greening’s constituency party.

Morritt has broken cover, and despite already being suspended by a Wandworth Council, he is trying to claim he is standing aside voluntarily because he is so squeaky clean. His long and rambling statement is about two weeks too late:

“It is a sad fact in politics that malicious individuals can fire off accusations about people who are elected to serve their communities, and in certain quarters have their vicious claims taken at face value. In the past few weeks I have been on the receiving end of a number of scandalous accusations of fraud and wrongdoing during my time working for Wandsworth Conservatives, all of which are completely untrue. In addition, I have been subject to vile attacks by individuals unknown in an attempt to damage me politically, professionally and personally. Therefore I would welcome an independent review of the work I delivered for my previous employer, and for this to be conducted by a suitable person as soon as is possible. I will be writing to Wandsworth’s Chief Executive later today so that he is aware I will be voluntarily not attending any committees until the report is concluded. I will be adopting the same approach in respect of any posts I also hold in the voluntary party. There is no doubt in my mind that I carried out my duties in a highly professional manner and the results achieved in various elections are a testament to that. The chairman of Wandsworth Conservatives has been very clear that in his view there was no wrongdoing and I was warmly regarded by my colleagues and by the volunteers. As for those persons behind these unprincipled and false accusations, I can only express my disgust and disappointment.”

An interesting use of the term “voluntarily” there. The whole statement has a touch of the Huhne to it…

See also:


  1. 1
    The Public says:

    Hang him!

  2. 2
    Margaret Moran says:

    What a leech.

  3. 3
    Keir Starmer says:

    Leave him to me now lads.

    Move along nothing to see !

  4. 4
    Wadsworth Council says:

    What an idiot.

  5. 5
    Anonymous says:

    Guido, what do you charge for printing character assassinations? Or is it just pro bono for people who are ‘sound’?

  6. 6
    Socialist Workers Party anti-semitism says:

  7. 7
    Robert Morritt says:

    “Voluntarily”– yeah, that’s what it was, voluntary! Yeah– nobody pushes ol’ Rob Morritt out, like t’ see someone try! Voluntary, sure, that’s the ticket, my own free will and shit, yeah…

    Well, anyway, that’s my story, and I’m going to stick to it, see?

  8. 8
    Reading The Telegraph gave my dog cancer says:

    Speaking of which: I could fucking murder a pint.

  9. 9
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Yes indeed Mr Morritt – there is “no doubt in your mind”. so to speak. Time for the men in white coats … I say.

    In fact it’s way beyond time that all politicians and members of the legal fraternity – were forced to have 6 monthly psychiatric assessments. That’ll teach ‘em.

  10. 10
    The public says:

    Well-done Guido. Keep up the good work.

  11. 11
    Free Ryder says:

    You can’t assassinate people’s characters when they are self-confessed crooks, Anonymous old boy.

  12. 12
    The Paragnostic says:

    Welcome to Wandsworth, for the final cycling event in this year’s Olympics.

    The Mens Mountain Bike Team Drivé-By is set to be keenly contested by the Somalian team, who have been training in Peckham, the US team composed of the Bloods and Cripps, and Team GB, who had their training camp in Moss Side and Salford.

    Supporters are advised that the event is best watched on CCTV.

  13. 13
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    You can’t the get BBC in your region anyway, can you dear?

  14. 14
    No friend of Morrit says:

    Warmly regarded?? He’s smoking crack. The man was tolerated, and feared by many who should have grown a pair of balls and taken him out earlier. Only good to buy you a drink on his ‘expense account’ and never really welcomed.

    He’s absolutely delusional if he thinks anyone has ANYTHING but complete contempt for him now. He’ll be lucky to find someone in the association still willing to allow him to buy THEM a drink on his new expense account at Public Affairs manager for Home Group

  15. 15
    Silent Majority says:

    He’s running around offering to ‘pay back the money’ as long as people don’t expose him.

    Trust me ‘Anonymous’ everyone in the know in Wandsworth, is aware his a crook, but many are choosing to cover for him so as not to expose their own bad governance!

  16. 16
    The Paragnostic says:

    Apparently, we are giving the Syrian rebels comms equipment and body armour.

    Still, I suppose that after the cuts, we might have a few spare sets left over from not equipping our own troops…

  17. 17

    Elsie thinks I am you, Para.

    I have told her that each of us is not the other but cannot fight dementia which is that advanced. It is that cider from T****s…

  18. 18
    Scum says:

    Evil bastards. Should have known it would turn out to be the family.

    Police searching for the missing schoolgirl Tia Sharp have found a body in her grandmother’s south London home. The Metropolitan Police said the body was found following a search of the property in New Addington, Croydon, earlier.

    The 12-year-old has been missing since last Friday. Police are seeking Stuart Hazel, 37, the partner of Tia’s grandmother Christine Sharp, and have asked people not to approach him.

  19. 19
    Free Ryder says:

    Bit late for Rob (well named, at least) to offer to pay the money back.

    When will Guido release the titbits about who was signing the blank cheques left in the safe?

  20. 20
    Wandsworth CONservatives says:

    “Robert is 28 and has lived in Wandsworth since 2006. He tries to take full advantage of all that it has to offer…”

    “Not long after graduating I was really attracted to the area because of the low Council Tax and I’m sure that’s why so many young adults and families make the borough of Wandsworth their home,” comments Robert.

  21. 21
    Dudley Zoo says:

    Taxi for Morritt

  22. 22
    Brown out and pay me damages says:

    Bye bye for these idiots.

  23. 23
    illogical says:

    Is the fence still standing?

  24. 24
    annette curton says:

    He tries to take full advantage of all it has to offer. LOL!.

  25. 25
    Serious questions for the police says:

    The police have a lot of questions to answer…they searched what is a small terrace house not a mansion with extensive grounds several times(and with dogs) and still managed to fail to locate Tia and on top of that they let the prime suspect(who it was obvious from day 1 was a bit iffy )o abscondd and now have no the slightest idea where the fuck he is….they even had him in for questioning …..some investigators these

  26. 26
    annette curton says:

    Lucky the idiots haven’t decided to send British troops in again, A versus B = mc squared.

  27. 27
    Ah! Monika says:

    Police are seeking Stuart Hazell, 37, the partner of Tia’s grandmother Christine Sharp, and have asked people not to approach him.

    FFS he was obviously responsible and he has done a disappearing act.

  28. 28
  29. 29
    Sue says:

    Sorry Scum, posted without checking.

  30. 30
    Forkbender says:

    So when is he going to start issuing writs which is the norm for politicos, I am very suprised that none have been issued. Could there be more of them involved, a bit odd he is the only one.

  31. 31
    not sue Ah! Monika says:


  32. 32
    the boys in blue says:

    So, they couldnt find the wee girl for 12 days, in the house… but now they are starting a manhunt for the boyfriend who they havent kept tabs on?

  33. 33
    Forkbender says:

    Errr, didn’t our glorious and wonderful MPs offer to pay back the monies and then nothing more was said.

  34. 34
    Ah! Monika says:

    One down, thousands to go.
    Order-order will last ’till eternity.

  35. 35
    You Huhne! says:

    A touch of the Huhne? That is the ultimate insult and most serious accusation you can throw at anyone. You really don’t like this dodgy geezer do you Guido.

  36. 36
    the boys in blue says:

    didnt read the one above before posting. Sorry.

  37. 37
    Forkbender says:

    Why not have them have do psychatric assessments when they first enter parliament and after each GE

  38. 38
    jgm2 says:

    46 and a grandmother to a 12 year-old. A grandmother at 34. FFS. And a ‘toy-boy’ of 37.

    Has anybody checked Jeremy Kyle’s back catalogue again?

  39. 39
    Archer Karcher says:

    More’s the pity. They should have all had their day in court, hopefully one day they will and by they I mean all of the parasite politicians.

  40. 40
    Jaqui Smith says:

    Peanuts pure peanuts.

  41. 41

    I thought this was status quo in the UK, jgm2, which would go a long way to explaining why Labour still have a massive core vote. My two overseas bases have people who live more traditional lifestyles, I am happy to say.

  42. 42

    Absolutely no MSM coverage of this at all.


  43. 43
    Archer Karcher says:

    Socialists have form for this sort of stuff and plenty of it.

  44. 44
    Ah! Monika says:

    Tried to complain about Tesco’s complaints procedure, and was told I can only do that by complaining about a product.
    I don’t think the supervisor or Customer Services Manager understand what a catch 22 situation is.
    My daughter did when she was three.

  45. 45
    Liblabcon aint-English scum says:

    Be a laugh if the troops had the sense to mutiny.

    It’s about time our armed forces wised up and stop allowing themselves to be stooges for oligarchs and globalist interests, cos contrary to whatever bullshit they’ve been told, they sure as hell aint fighting for our interests.

  46. 46
    Serious questions for the police says:

    Ex-Commander in the Met interviewed on Sky and made a very salient point…that the police are always getting criticised for being too nosy and questioning bona fides of someone they can “smell” is a “wrong-un” because of fear of being sued underr the Human Rights Act so as a result Tia remained unfound for 7 days and the areshole who probably killed her gets to run offscot-free in case he feels picked on…..he’s not been seen since yesterday afternoon…he could be abroad by now…obviously the police didn’t think that he warranted surveillance(common sense…how did they know that he may not have an accomplice whom he was contacting or going to where he’d hid the body…if he was innocent no sweat the police have just used up a few officers and man hours). This whole case needs to be referred to the Police Complaints Body if it is discovered that the police missed serious clues and the senior investigating officer bollocked.

  47. 47
    Ah! Monika says:

    Britain won’t fit down the drain any more, it needs a black hole.( no puns now )

  48. 48
    Aunty Matter says:

    What the fuck is Billy Hague and twat boy Camp-moron doing arming the fuckwits in Syria?

    Why are we helping retards who once they’ve finished with Assad will come after us?

  49. 49
    Ah! Monika says:

    Don’t hold your breath.

  50. 50
    Ah! Monika says:

    Guido is fast becoming MSM!

  51. 51
    Aunty Matter says:

    The house must have been a stink hole then, or wouldn’t you smell a rotting body?

    Problem with plod is they are thick, just so thick. How many teen girls go anywhere without their mobile phone?

    I often laugh when I hear plod slagging off the Portuguese over the Madeline McCann case, like our morons would have done any better.

    I’ve shat smarter turds than coppers.

  52. 52
    The fearless MSM says:

    We’re here to regurgitate state lies, cover up the serious crimes of the elites, and dumb down the plebs with sport ‘n’ celeb shit.

  53. 53

    Of course, I am dragging the levels of my two communities down, A!M…

  54. 54
    Stuart Andrew MP says:

    You are Eric Joyce MP and I claim my free Glas’gow k’iss.

  55. 55
    Someone or other anonymous says:

    Not quite as spectucular, but the resignation of Gary Ince, tame Labour party ‘business development’ bureaucrat in NE London was a step in the right direction this week.

  56. 56
    Blood Sucker says:


    1. There are 650 known species of leeches.
    2. The largest leech discovered measured 18 inches.
    3. About one fifth of leech species live in the sea, where they feed on fish.
    4. The leech has 32 brains.
    5. The Hirudo leech lays its babies within a cocoon; whereas the Amazon leech carries its babies on its stomach – sometimes as many as 300.
    6. Not all leeches are bloodsuckers. Many are predators which eat earthworms, etc.
    7. The Amazon leech uses a different method of sucking blood. It inserts a long proboscis into the victim, as opposed to biting.
    8. The bite of a leech is painless, due to its own anaesthetic.
    9. The Hirudo leech injects an anti-coagulant serum into the victim to prevent the blood clotting.
    10. The leech will gorge itself until it has had its fill and then just fall off.
    11. The leech will gorge itself up to five times its body weight.
    12. The first leech was used in medicine about 1000 B.C., probably in ancient India.
    13. In the past, people would stand in the lakes and pools dotted around the country and when the leeches attached to their legs they would put them in baskets and sell them. Today the Hirudo leech is an endangered species.
    14. The original surgeons were barbers and they used leeches to cure anything from headaches to gout!
    15. The nervous system of the leech is very similar to the human nervous system and is an enormous benefit to researchers in their quest for the answers to human problems.
    16. The nearest relatives of leeches are earthworms.
    17. Leeches can bite through a hippo’s hide!

  57. 57
    Post Mortem says:

    Will somebody please tell the BBC that the “allegedly” dead of Syria are still dead.

  58. 58
    ToonBob... says:

    Chop off ‘is knob !!

    Any apology yet from the French President over his taking the p*ss out of our medal count last week ??

  59. 59
    ToonBob... says:

    Give ‘em another 5 million…….. ??

    Who the flock cares about the Syrians…….. ??

  60. 60
    Ah! Monika says:

    The average 3 year-old has a working vocabulary of 300 words. Twice that of our Olympic commentators.

  61. 61
    Democracy and reason, not slogans and treason says:

    The SWF and its front organisations – UAF and ‘We Are …. ‘ (Fill in the blank) are masters at accusing others of exactly the same behaviour they indulge in themselves. Uncivilised scum who no decent people should have anything to do with. And that includes you, Stella Creasy MP.

  62. 62
    Blood Sucker says:

    When the Je’wish homeland was first mooted, the British politician David Lloyd George implied that this act was in fact very similar to the tactic used by the Germans in 1917 in sending a disruptive force into Russia in order to cause trouble for Tsarist Russia and get them out of WWI, instead, in 1917 Palestine, Lloyd George said the target was Germany’s ally, the Ottoman Caliphate. Much later, in 1948, when David Ben Gurion declared UDI, General George Marshall advised Truman not to recognize Is’rael. Truman rejected the advice.

    Some might say that there was in fact some wisdom to that apparent act of madness, as what it showed the international community in later decades, was that a small group, which for centuries has fought against assimilation and persecution, for the advantages of being as small minority group granted asylum and settling amongst others, showed the world that all might be that it seemed, suggestion to some that this group may not have been ‘persecuted’ throughout the centuries, but censured for opportunistic, if not predatory behaviour at the expense of their neighbours. Many expected far better of Is’rael.

  63. 63
    Robert Morritt says:

    I have never done a trump

    I have never left a log in the motorway service facilities

  64. 64
    Ah! Monika says:

    Handball…for people who can’t kick.

    Imagine telling your grandchild that you won a medal for Handball.

  65. 65
    ToonBob... says:

    Got to congratulate Labour on how they tore apart traditional family life in this country.

  66. 66
    Ah! Monika says:

    Don’t come back. You will push our suicide rates up.

  67. 67
    Robert Morritt says:

    I have never stunk a caravan out

  68. 68
    Robert Morritt says:

    I have never used my socks to wipe my botty

  69. 69
    Sub Editor says:

    Wow. I think you should rewrite your last sentence: split it up for example. Whether it becomes intelligible and sensible, even after a rewrite, is of course another matter.

  70. 70
    Soon be time for dinner says:

    The only reason to use the word ‘allegedly’ is to avoid being sued for libel, but as you can’t libel the dead, it does seem a bit odd. Or does the BBC think that no-one’s getting killed there?

  71. 71
    ToonBob... says:

    A partner of the grandmother of this girl is not quite family…….. sh*t will always be sh*t!

  72. 72
    Charles de Gauche says:


  73. 73
    Harry Harman says:

    Well, it’s his rights you know.

  74. 74
    ToonBob... says:

    Let’s face it, neither side could lie straight in bed…… just a common trait in that part of the world !

  75. 75
    Intelligent Person says:

    Better that than football.

  76. 76
    ToonBob... says:


  77. 77 says:

    Fat lot of good that would do. Look at Stuart Hazell who they had in custody and our brilliant public sector police force. Couldn’t even find a body in a house. And now he’s on the run. Brilliant!

  78. 78 says:

    I’ve lost count of the number of times they have said ‘phenomenal’. But it is a phenomenal amount. Even the losers get called phenomenal.

  79. 79
    Anonymous says:

    Bad luck mate….now you know how it feels. Not much fun is it?

    No idea why anyone would want to ‘out’ you. Must have made a few enemies along the way. Hey ho that’s the way it goes.

    ‘Tant pis’…or tough shit if your French isn’t up to it. Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy and all that.

  80. 80
    Interesting times says:

  81. 81

    That could be a selective advantage.

  82. 82
    sue Brown says:


  83. 83
    Gordon Brown says:

    I won a chocolate gold for the Kirkaldy Shitty Knob contest.

  84. 84
    Seb Coe says:

    Take a lap of honour

  85. 85

    Ask for the store manager.

  86. 86
    chavs are nonces says:

    We are a tight-knit community… Lessons must be learnt… I love her to bits… where’s the father? Step-grandad a lovely feller… [repeat ad nauseum]

  87. 87
    Ah! Monika says:

    Only if you you were likely to reproduce beforehand.

  88. 88
    Ah! Monika says:

    Did, and he shrugged and agreed with me. I think he will be 6 tomorrow.

    AND…Sir Terry Leahy ( retd ) and I were at School together !!

  89. 89
    she's a fat slag but i still love 'er says:

    Doreen’s story, a tragic tale of sheer fucking idleness.

  90. 90
    Advice worth heeding says:

  91. 91
    Gordon Brown says:

    I am spending the weekend headbutting a cross channel ferry

    I can bend iron

  92. 92
    Lou Scannon says:

    How about assessments that take 6 full months, twice a year ?
    Sounds like a plan to me.

  93. 93
    Gordon Brown says:

    I can do disco
    I can do a dog dance
    I can make the zoo monkey mad

  94. 94
    chavs are nonces says:

    Stuart Hazell spotted rehearsing for the Olympic flag handover ceremony… Danny Boyle quoted as saying “we British are full of close-knit communities… Grandad, you’re loverly… who’s to judge… he done his time… no prejudice [repeat ad nauseum]”…

  95. 95
    Gordon Brown says:

    i play drums for St Johns Ambulance

  96. 96
    Mark says:

    Are tongues allowed ?

  97. 97
    Channel Ferry says:

    Cross ? I’m fucking livid !

  98. 98
    How's the missus? says:

  99. 99
    Leslie Welsh says:

    Can anyone remember when Britain last had a successful relay baton changeover

  100. 100

    27 June 2007.

    The baton was passed successfully but the eventual outcome was a disaster.

  101. 101
    Ah! Monika says:

    Incredible, unbelievable.

  102. 102
  103. 103
  104. 104

    Both, in all likelihood.

  105. 105
    Ed Balls (Complete with Bradley Wiggins sideburns) says:

    The blame for the cock up of a baton changeover lies with the Conservative led coalition, who are cutting too far and too fast.

    The economy is flatlining and so are Team GB’s athletes.

  106. 106
    anon says:

    hello all bullingdon/ etonian/ tory bully boys

    looking for some financial advice?

    try cameron and company yes it’s true, cameron and company chartered financial planner

    all your problems solved

    cameron saves the world!!!!!!FFS

  107. 107

    Blair to Brown?

    No, wait…

    Has that Ginger Nonce been torn to shreds by an angry mob yet?

  108. 108
    anon says:

    why don’t you get a real job

  109. 109
    anon says:

    its the tories who are looking for war – whats your problem again?? tories are nasty nazis

  110. 110
    anon says:

    youre fucking jokin right???

    fucking obsolete tory shits

  111. 111
    anon says:

    and the tories are totally innocent aren’t they?

    they only kill their own???

    no tory has a brain

  112. 112
    Gordon McQuackers says:

    I saved the world, you cuпt!

  113. 113
    Anonymous says:

    I reckon Sc is pretty good with his hands, especially his right one.

  114. 114
    Anna says:

    When I unsubscribed from the Guidiogram a few months ago, because the particular address which received it was about to become obsolete and I thought it would be useful for you to know that, so as not to waste bandwidth, I fully intended to re-subscribe with a current, working, email address. Sadly your response was less than mature… along the lines of “we never much liked you anyway”. I didn’t take it personally, since my posts on your blog since its inception could be counted on less than one hand. It was clearly a template response, but equally it didn’t encourage me to re-subsribe.

    However, none of that stops my daily dose of your blog, which does sometimes make me laugh uproariously with its exposé of our politician’s, and their associated sycophants, hypocrisy.

    It’s sad that our leaders and potential leaders are so steeped in hypocrisy at best and corruption at worst, but it ain’t ever going to change, so may as well laugh!

  115. 115
    Ah! Monika says:

    Private Eye used to have Coleman Balls.
    You can’t count them now.

    ” you can’t do any better than your personal best. “

  116. 116
    Sir William Waad says:

    I wanted to sue the airline for smashing my luggage but my solicitor said I hadn’t got much of a case.

  117. 117
    A glimse of Europe's future says:

    I suspect those sort of scenes will be quite common in many a Euro city within 30/40 years thanks to the collective treason of the western political/business/media classes.

  118. 118
    Ah! Monika says:

    Doesn’t count.

  119. 119
    Some Twat up North says:

    I said that the other day with the opportunity for a U turn.

    Bollocks to a U turn the Crim is not for turning.

  120. 120
    Sir William Waad says:

    On the contrary, a socialist is a person who has not used his/her brain since the age of 18.

  121. 121
    Gordon Brown says:

    No-one ever showed me how to open the bloody thing.

  122. 122
    gramma says:

    Socialists much better at passing the buck!

  123. 123
    Inspector Lestrade says:

    My plan is to arrest the wrong person so as to lull the real culprit into a false sense of security.

  124. 124
    Some Twat up North says:

    Bet you don’t live on the same street :)

  125. 125
    Allahu Akbar says:

    Funny that, I’d support Assad from the threat of radical Islam.

  126. 126

    Who says?

    The grounds need to be defined before the question is posed, let alone the answer offered.

  127. 127
    Chairman of the Bored says:

    With that defeatist attitude you must be standing for Liebor in Corby.

  128. 128
    The Paragnostic says:

    Mad old bint.

    She’ll be accusing you of being FrankFuckingFisher and ßilly ßotty next.

  129. 129
    Anonymous says:

    Best baton run ever!

  130. 130
    Liam Byrne says:

    There’s no money left you fucking anonymous bastard!

  131. 131
    Yeh says:

    and when we are all under Sharia law, there will be no more full english breakfasts, no more licenced premises and no more entertainment. We must quit this shithole before that happens, trouble is, where to?

  132. 132

    Good old blind eye syndrome, broke me and no doubt many others. The establishment should hang its head in shame at its dodgy eye.

    On a speatete issue especially when kids are involved and suicide is the result, allegedly.

    But hey ho as long as we look good, and darkness rules the land.

  133. 133
    Extraordinary says:

    And every long distance runner is ‘The Great ………’ – if he’s from East Africa

  134. 134
    OK says:

    but at least we’d be able to beat our wives, all six of them and have sex with the sheep in the garden

  135. 135
    J G Beard says:

    If it was crocodile skin you should demand a replacement and tell them to make it snappy.

  136. 136
    Joss Askin says:

    Are you northern?

  137. 137
    Roger S says:

    Fuck that for a game of soldiers.

  138. 138
    Pop Psychologist says:

    You are unhinged.

  139. 139

    No. That does not render my life worthless though.

    However when I lived in St Albans, he was living (and still does) in nearby Cuffley and his office was in Welwyn Garden City.

    As a focussed manager, I think him second to none in my lifetime. He could have beaten the pants off anyone in banking, particularly after I left.

  140. 140
    Conservative Donors Inc. says:

    Did any of you chavs feel threatened by PC Plod stomping through your front room around New Addington recently?

  141. 141
    Wandsworth Tory says:

    Rob, this is directly to you.
    Stop this now. Even you are not sociopathic enough to believe your own delusional propaganda. You stole on a grand scale over a long period of time and failed to cover it up and are now making things worse for yourself in the face of massive evidence. You are not warmly regarded, you are a nasty blackmailing bully and always have been. If you continue aggravating people with your brazen stupidity and lies someone will call the police eventually.

    If you REALLY believe this to be untrue, sue Guido. We know you won’t and there are plenty who would hand on heart testify against you .

    To your girlfriend (who I won’t name as she doesn’t deserve it) you’re a lovely girl who has been just as hoodwinked as many others. He is lying to you. I’m so sorry, but he is. Don’t ruin your own career and life too.

    Rob, give it up like a man and not the pathetic coward you currently seem. The net has closed too far and you will not escape.

  142. 142

    Quite correct about ßilly ßotty, not FrankFuckingFisher but I have been accused of being the SON of COD and even our proprietor as well, PBUH.

    It is the rather indiscriminate way in which these very different personalities can be attributed to one person. (I would not mind having your programming skills though!)

  143. 143
    8i11y 8owd3n's mum says:

    Stop dissing ‘im already!

  144. 144
    Martin Cunt - SKY News & tosser says:

    I am plucking at the heartstrings of my unfeasibly large bonus.

  145. 145

    I have searched Guido’s Google box in vain for any mention over the years of Cynthia Plaster Caster. This post is to redress that omission. Anyone who has not heard of her can find the Wiki article or indeed her own website.

    An idea occurred to me that Growdon Brown, the former member (oh he is still one already, I find) and accidental Prime Minister, should be captured in his very essence by her and numerous mouldings made. Every Labour MP, past and present, including some of those no longer with us, should have one of these mouldings inserted in every fundamental orifice they possess in such way as to make extraction impossible.

    They can then truly claim that they have been left with something of their Great Leader in them.

  146. 146
    Tom Watson in charge says:

    Defeatism; that’s my brilliant and cunning plan: Reverse the Curse! I need to convince my old guv that it’s too hopeless and that he’ll only look silly offering his penn’orth on the race– if I can just get him to stay schtum and not wish our lad good luck, we should win in a cakewalk!

    Spe*aking of cakes…

  147. 147
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    Huhne may be dodgy but he is a complete amateur next to Archer and Aitken. Credit where credit is due.

  148. 148
    Nick 'cunt' Buckles says:

    Ur really in to your spanking aren’t you honey!

  149. 149
    Anonymous says:

    I’ll see your 7:55pm and raise you a fuck off.

  150. 150
    Gordon Brown says:

    Rob this is directly to you

    You can come an join my gang

    We can do potato prints and lego

  151. 151
    Tom Daley says:

    I’m flopping big time. I’m not even going to make the final.

    Has anyone any idea who could have cursed me?

  152. 152
    Anna says:

    You aren’t very good at reading the runes, are you! I’m nowhere near Corby and if I were I wouldn’t be voting Labour, I have more respect for my country than to wish ruin upon it. My MP is Jeremy Hunt. He’s nice enough, I suppose, in a wishy-washy kind of way, but he’s a devoted Cameroon = Europhile. He won’t be getting my vote next time around. Voting Labour isn’t an option and I’d shoot myself between the eyes sooner than vote LIbDem, so where does that leave me? Laughter is better than despair!

  153. 153
    The Tosser in No 10 says:

    Oh I say you jolly chaps!! Mr Moriarty must have saving graces and good points, – and it’s only FAIR to point them out and build on them.

    Yours truly, for instance, has many jolly chaps in my club who are, shall we say, not quite up to the mark, – and that’s being charitable! But as Tony would say, “Hey, – I’m a straight kinda guy!” – and lead by example!

    So let’s be charitable! – no that’s not a joke! There must a little job he could do somewhere in The Gov where he could use his skills and undoubted personality.

    Toot Toot!! What??

  154. 154
    Anonymous says:

    I really do think you are more in need of the many and varied mouldings to which you refer inserted as often as is necessary.

    Are you losing it completely or just temporarily?

  155. 155
    Heaven rejoices when a sinner repents. says:

    Nay Trist, The Hoon and The Huhne are in the premier league. The Archer is is a second league repentant but the Aitken has paid his debt to society ten times over.

    And just to add it is totally wrong that Simon Weston is not considered fit to be a Police commissioner.

  156. 156


    Lots of sunshine and nude swimming…(if you like that sort of thing.)

  157. 157
    Gordon Brown, whistling and looking the other way, says:

    Tom who?

  158. 158

    You clearly don’t pay attention to what goes on here, Mr Anonymong.

    Nothing that I do is done by halves.

  159. 159
    What this tells us is... says:

    Looks like the entire council are institutionially corrupt.

  160. 160
    Can anyone remember when Britain last had a successful relay baton changeover says:


    When the Snot-Nosed Paranoid Plonker took over from the Sanctimonious Grinning Shit.

    Hardly a ripple – though there was a flood soon after.

  161. 161
    bread & circuses says:

    Ooh! I could crush a grape!

  162. 162
    8i11y 8owd3n's mum says:

    I know someone who just loves that sort of thing!

  163. 163
    It Stinks says:

    So the truth is that global corporations benefit from the Olympics and local/national business is forced out.

    When they said British business would gain from the games just who were they referring to?

    And why is the UK taxpayer paying for a bid made on behalf of London by London?

  164. 164
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    Can’t agree with you. To be fair, none of those named are in the premier league. Such status must be reserved for the true superstars of political corruption such as Reggie Maudling, Tom Driberg and Bob Boothby. Modern politicians have much to learn.

  165. 165
    Tough Titty says:

    If you must shake hands with the Devil, then do not be surprised at the outcome.

  166. 166
    all MSM says:

    Just sit back and enjoy getting fucked repeatedly up your rear.

  167. 167
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    All in a day’s work in politics. Boaz.

  168. 168
    Vicious Jenny says:

    *ears prick up*

  169. 169
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Admit it though, SCat, you had to have been one of the many thieves who poached B!lly’s moniker/”monkier”. I thought everyone on this blog did, at the time. That’s why the landlord finally called a halt to the use of the name, but not the person, at least that’s what I took from it. He couldn’t tell without looking at the IP addresses who was who, such was the level of the larceny going on, and he decided he couldn’t be arsed to have to figure it out all the time.

    (You ARE “CRMM”, though, aren’t you?)

  170. 170
    Saffron says:

    The type of tories we now have are a bunch of liars/vagabonds/thieves.
    Liebour/libdumbs/all the other hangers on are of the same ilk.
    The oylimpic shames is but a distraction as to what should be peoples concern as to how this country is being dragged down.
    The limpics will end shortly,and then what?.
    Well chaps back to reallity,this country is in shit state,but I can assure you some people will clean up financially over the state we are in.
    Fraud is rife across this land,from national government to local government,can we the people stop this,?.
    Possibly not in that it is endemic.

  171. 171
    Great Granddad says:

    Well done indeed. What a pity it is that we didn’t have the internet, and the inestimable Guido to go with it, many decades ago.

  172. 172
    shiteshiteshite says:

    was it really that important to cut away from the crucial vault in the pole vault competition in order to discuss with the British 4x400m squad how they failed to win a medal?
    BBC1 coverage has been fucking woeful this Olympics.

  173. 173
    Sacré bleu says:

    And wots more. As Mad Franky Hollande is saying that Britain is now part of the continent of Europe. Why isn’t the EU picking up the tab?

  174. 174
    Some Twat up North says:

    Breaking News!!!!

    cleggy boy trying out his new role in a charity shop.

    The c*unts even stealing work from volunteers!

  175. 175
    Some Twat up North says:

    Too true

  176. 176
    Help the Hero says:

    It is just so wrong. Simon Weston put his life on the line for his country, he was considered fit to serve his country and he has the most horrible scars for doing so.

    Since then he has done nothing to promote his country and now his country has rejected him for a silly mistake he made as a boy. Take note that the Army did NOT reject him for that mistake.

    Come on Dave man up and pass an act through parliament and correct this injustice as soon as Parliament returns. Or even better call the fuckers back to make it so.

  177. 177
    Reverting to Type says:

    A shame really as until now I had respect for Clegg’s integrity in this coalition thing.

    I can’t quite understand why he has reneged on his gentleman’s agreement as it will not win him or his party one single vote.

  178. 178
    confused says:

    “vile attacks by individuals unknown”

    Uh! Doesn’t he know about this blog & if he does & the claims are untrue why doesn’t he get an injunction? super or otherwise

  179. 179
    Help the Hero says:

    Correction the above typo. Of course it should read that Simon has nothing but (since) to promote his country.

  180. 180
    Another Engineer says:

    Nоt surе еvеry Eаst Afrіcаn hаs bееn trеаtеd wіth rеspеct.

    Tryіng tо іntеrvіеw Bоlt durіng thе Kеnyаn nаtіоnаl аnthеm wаs pаrtіculаrly bаd.

    Crеdіt tо Bоlt fоr turnіng hіs bаck оn thе іntеrvіеwеr аnd аpplаudіng.

  181. 181
    Time to reflect says:

    Seems to me that the politicos are deliberately confusing the cost of the London Olympics with the costs to train up a GB team.

    It would Not have cost the UK taxpayer billions of squids to train up just a handful of bikers and runners.

  182. 182
    Blowing Whistles says:

    The reason he WILL NOT report to the police or go legal is because – HE HAS BEEN CAUGHT WITH HIS PANTS DOWN. He can’t back up his ‘rhetoric and spin’ – that’s why he is neutered.

  183. 183
    Blowing Whistles says:

    There’s no fool like a fool who doesn’t understand a little bit of irony and a simple joke.

  184. 184
    Anonymous says:

    I am feeling sorry for this bloke..I detect the hand of a woman scorned in all this. Why has Guido got it in for him particularly? He is bright enough hard working if a tad on the over privileged side. The top guys were in awe of him cause he was a lot brighter than them – so he got over advancement and that made him feel invincible blame the big boys not little morritt

  185. 185
    Noggin the Nog says:

    Shut up, it was your idea.

  186. 186
    Anonymous says:

    Elected to serve your community are you f**king joking? You were shoe horned in to a safe seat at the last minute because you were quids in with limp d**k captain h who fancied himself rotten .. So embarrassing yuk. You can’t really think you were elected to serve. It was a thank you from captain or was it major h who thought he could hand out safe seats as favours for his mates.

    Don’t care if you have done nothing at all – not fit for office having written that statement cause no way you genuinely believe that rubbish. What is wrong with these people elected to serve?! Grow the other one.

  187. 187
    Verucca says:

    Well someone has stitched him up and that is for sure.

    Local government is even more corrupt than national government.

    I get the feeling that love ain’t got to do with this and it is political infighting. I would guess most local political orgs attract the same bad eggs but usually they are composted before the media finds out about them.

  188. 188
    Only in PC Britain says:

    How come Plod can’t find a dead body in the attic but detect someone making a joke on Twitter?

  189. 189
    1984 says:

    Personally I don’t have a twitter account because I’m concerned about my freedom to speech and being jailed for 21 weeks for voicing my opinions.

  190. 190
    Tachybaptus says:

    Because the contents of your attic are not sent all over the world by electronic means. However, that day may come, and sooner than you think.

  191. 191

    Оh! Dеаr…

    Thіck аs Thіеvеs, Hаrdwіdgе, Tаpеstry, Cаnvаs, аll flоаtіng іn vаts оf fоrmаldеhydе іn а cеllаr іn Nеw Crоss …


  192. 192

    I admit to nothing, Mr KdP.

    Do I detect a wish to confess on your part?

  193. 193
    Keith Martin says:

    His statement would have been more elegant, and believable, if he had omitted the following words: malicious, vicious, scandalous, completely, vile, highly, very, warmly & “unprincipled and false”.
    Who’s he trying to convince?

  194. 194
    Anonymous says:

    Was ever thus. Leave out the adjectives. Would make for better Olympic commentary too.

  195. 195
    Land of Hope and Glory says:

    Vote UKIP. There won’t be any glory in doing so but there is hope.

  196. 196
    earwig O again says:

    Quoi de neuf? They have had decades of practice.

  197. 197
    Maltese (extremely) Cross says:

    So am I. Getting in a real flap now the wind is up!

  198. 198
    Maltese (extremely) Cross says:

    It is as nauseAm

  199. 199
    Maltese (extremely) Cross says:

    FFS!! … ad (makes you sick, dunnit?)

  200. 200
    Wotter Nidear says:

    Good idea! Someone tell Gideon to deduct 11 billion quid from their monthly subs until the bill is fully paid.

  201. 201
    Dick Fosbury says:

    I could do what you do landing on my head.

  202. 202
    Ian E Vitable says:

    A gentleman’s agreement between ….. er …..

  203. 203
    C Kennedy (and Dai) says:

    I’ll drink to that.

  204. 204
    Man in a shed says:

    Is it all over yet ?

  205. 205
  206. 206
    Free Ryder says:

    No one stitched him up. He nicked the money.

  207. 207
    Free Ryder says:

    He isn’t a lot brighter than anyone. He’s a thug and a bully and a thief.

  208. 208
    Plonker Dave says:

    Leave him alone! All are welcome in my 21st.century PC all inclusive conservative party.

  209. 209
    It's a gas says:

    Or, to put it another way, ‘you can’t cut the mustard’.

  210. 210
    Wandsworth Laydee says:

    Another message to Rob:

    Guido has all the documents. You know there’s much worse to come out. You also know that other people are implicated. To echo what was said above, you’re not going to get away with this. No-one in the local party has good things to say about you. They know Guido wouldn’t publish if there were no documents to back up what he was saying. Why are you continuing to try to hold on? You’re just making it worse for yourself and the local party. If you have any respect for the local and national party you would resign now. You’re hardly going to get re-selected in January to stand again as a Councillor, so what are you trying to achieve here?

  211. 211
    Labouriety says:

    In a word – no tory iety (geddit)

  212. 212
    S o'Briety says:

    I’ll drink to that.

  213. 213
    Anonymous says:

    In a word, or two,…fat, ugly, thief,…… the rumour correct that he used one of the illegal TAXIs to take an ex fuck buddy to the Hospital for an abortion?

  214. 214
    Anonymous says:

    He wants to see out the Olympics, they only show highlights in prison.

  215. 215
    Taxfodders SpaD says:

    The fact that self entitled council crooks are tolerated and allowed to flourish without check confirms more about local political dysfunction than an inquiry ever could, those that put local party politics before local peoples best interests clearly demonstrates their supporters level stupidity and tolerance to internal corruption in a very perfect way.

  216. 216
    Free Ryder says:

    That is true, allegedly … nice guy.

    Also heard that one of the reasons he used the Addison Lee account was to ferry one girlfriend away from his house while he was ferrying another one to it, so he could make sure they never met.

Seen Elsewhere

Users of Gay Hook-Up App Grindr Infected | TechnoGuido
ISIS Raising Funds Online Using Bitcoin | TechnoGuido
UKIP’s Youth Challenge | BBC
ISIS Operative: This Is How We Send Jihadis To Europe | BuzzFeed
Shapps Defends Bashir Defection | Seb Payne
Tory Leadership Contenders Jostle Over Europe | Alex Wickham
Cutting Taxes is Good For You | Art Laffer
Suspects Will Now Have to Prove Innocence | Laura Perrins
Labour Cllr: Cops Shouldn’t Stop Petrol Thieves | HandF Forum
Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath

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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

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